Relativity
by DONOVAN94
Summary: Elaine Cousland, stranded over 1000 years beyond her time, is thrust into the midst of the Reaper War alongside Commander Shepard and the crew of the Normandy. Even as they struggle to end the cycle, they are beset by betrayal and horror at every turn. Yet something else is coming, something that will change the face of this war forever, a threat only Elaine knows how to face.
1. The War Begins

**Hello lovely readers and welcome to my second DragonAge/MassEffect crossover! This is the sequel to my previous story 'Gravity'. For those of you who are new, I would recommend reading that story before this one, as without it, there may be scenarios or pieces of story-lore that won't make sense. I'll try to limit this as much as I can, but you have been warned!**

 **For those of you who are returning readers, thank you so much for coming back! I hope you enjoy this story with me, I've been really looking forward to this one! As usual, there will be weekly updates every Monday. Please be advised, however, this story will be a little darker than the previous ones, and the rating will shift up to M rather quickly for obvious reasons. If I think there's anything that needs a Trigger Warning, I'll be sure to mention it.**

 **Please do not forget to leave a review, feedback is the life-force all author's must feast on to survive!**

* * *

Relativity

* * *

Today was a good day to die.

Commander James Shepard didn't know how many times he'd thought those words in the last twelve hours, but it felt like a lot. At first it had been when he'd been pulled from his 'cell', and he'd assumed he was being carted off to finally be court-marshalled or handed over to the Batarians. Then it had been when the Reapers had finally descended from the sky in a blaze of fire. They'd torn the world apart, and Shepard had felt powerless to do anything against such a massive scale of destruction. And that helplessness had festered into hate. The run through Vancouver with Anderson had been one death-defying leap after another. Even when he'd finally been welcomed back onto the Normandy – welcomed _home_ – he'd still thought they would be shot down from the sky at any moment.

There'd been no rest, no time to allow everything to process in his mind. Calm one moment and then hell-on-earth the next. It took every part of Shepard's willpower to stay on course as ordered and abandon Earth to die whilst he went off to recruit the rest of the galaxy. He more than agreed with Vega, the muscle-head that had somehow been roped onto the Normandy, who wanted to turn around and join the fight. But Shepard also believed that he needed to see the bigger picture here. More lives would be saved in the long-run if he gathered the soldiers he needed now, rather than head back to die in a small and petty battle.

So now, he, Vega and Kaidan (of all people) were scoping through the ghost town of the Mars archives. Sent by Admiral Hackett to retrieve something of vital importance. But outside, they'd been met by a host of Cerberus troops and murdered Alliance personnel. And the inside was little better, the halls empty of life. And Kaidan's constant insinuations about Shepard's loyalty were not helping Shepard's mood much. Discovering the man-and-one-time-friend had been promoted whilst Shepard had been incarcerated, and that now he was back aboard the Normandy, Shepard didn't know what to think. They hadn't parted on such good terms last time they'd seen one another. Shepard had been hurt and angered by Kaidan's claims of treason. Now, to think Kaidan still thought the worst of him… Shepard was trying to keep a hold on his temper, but it was becoming a very torturous process.

And then, who should appear before him, like a vengeful angel dropping from above to kill Cerberus scum – Liara. Shepard felt his heart thud against his ribs and his stomach soar. Suddenly those six months without seeing her face (not even in a vid-call) seemed like a lifetime. He completely forgot himself as he stood to his feet, gun forgotten and hanging uselessly at his side.

She heard his footsteps and turned her beautiful face to watch him. Relief overcame her deep-blue eyes. "Shepard… Thank the Goddess you're alive."

"You too, Liara," he said, stepping close and taking her hands in his. God, they felt just right in his grip. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, assure himself that she was real, that she was alive and hadn't been swallowed up by this war yet. But the sad little expression on her face stopped him.

"I was so worried when the reports came in… I'm sorry about Earth."

"Yeah." Kaidan sighed. Shepard and Liara jumped apart as if burned, having completely forgotten about their audience. "It was hard to leave like that."

"Kaidan." Liara nodded to him in greeting, her eyes lingering on James for a moment also. And then she looked back at Shepard, but the warm welcome was gone, replaced with scepticism. "Why did you come here?"

He attempted to adopt his commander-persona, but it was so difficult when all he wanted to do was kiss her. "Hackett's orders. Said you'd know what was going on."

"I've discovered plans for a Prothien Device," she explained, "one that could wipe out the Reapers."

That got Shepard's attention. "Here? On Mars?"

"In the Prothien Archives, yes. When you destroyed the Alpha Relay, you bought us some time. But then, you were under investigation. I knew I had to do something. So, I went digging. I tried to find anything I could about the Prothien's final days against the Reapers. My search led me here. Hackett got me access and kept me updated on your status… Seeing as you didn't."

And then he realised how badly he fucked up. The last time they'd spoken, it had been a call after he'd destroyed the relay and struggled with his guilty conscience. He'd promised to come see her, but had then been arrested by Hackett. "Liara, I–"

"In any case, my work paid off," she spoke over him, not looking him in the eye, instead pointing out the window towards their destination. "The Archives are full of data. I think I found what we need!"

"Where do we find this weapon?" he asked, conceding that he could sort this out with her later.

"It's not a weapon – not yet. It's just blueprints at the moment."

"And how do Cerberus fit into this mix?"

"Yeah," said Vega. "They seemed hell-bent on catching you."

"They want what I'm here for. What we're all here for."

Kaidan nodded, catching on. "Anything powerful enough to destroy the Reapers–"

"Is something Cerberus might just be interested in." finished Shepard.

So, they made their way through the Archives. Vega was not pleased to be left behind to cover the exits, but Shepard knew that the only way to win a fight with the odds against you, was to fight smart. It was he, Liara and Kaidan as they navigated the long halls and labs of the Archives, finding nothing but betrayal, death and tragedy the further in they went. Cerberus were not just infiltrating the Archives, they were slaughtering everyone inside. A Dr Eva had led the assault, Cerberus' inside woman. She was the one leading the way towards the Archives, with Shepard and company hot on their heels. However, a tram station blocked their way, with Eva's orders being to not let anyone across. The desperation to get to the data first was running high in all of them, yet it was Kaidan that came up with the plan to search for a radio helmet and trick the Cerberus soldiers into letting them across.

Shepard awkwardly acknowledged the good plan and watched Kaidan leave. His mind wandered back to their fight against Saren. Kaidan had been like a little brother to him, he'd been the calm and rational voice even amongst all the other stresses aboard the SR1. When Ash died, the pair of them had grieved together. Now look at them. Shepard couldn't compute in his mind how that man he'd once considered like family, could be the same man he now resented.

He felt eyes on him, and eventually noticed that Liara was staring at him over the terminal she was trying to hack. "The Major has become very capable."

"Agreed." He muttered.

"You're still sore with him?"

"Well, he did call me a traitor, didn't lift a finger to help me out of jail, is still insinuating I'm a traitor… Nah, can't think of anything I'd be pissed about." Shepard drawled sarcastically.

Liara hummed to herself, her eyes slowly returning to her work. "Looks like grudges are going around."

He winced. "Liara… About _before_. I know I didn't really tell you about–"

"What? Didn't tell me about the Alpha Relay? Didn't tell me you were being incarcerated? I had to find those things out for myself." Realising how hard and cold she sounded, her resolve crumbled and she glanced down at her fumbling hands. "Shepard, it's not the fact you did what you did. I still believe that you did the right thing. I just… You left me to worry, you kept me in the dark."

"There just didn't seem like enough time to explain…"

"Shepard!" suddenly shouted Kaidan's voice from the hall. "I found something!"

The Commander wanted to ignore him, to pretend he didn't hear him. He wanted to explain everything to Liara, to clear away the doubts in both of their minds. But with the interruption again, she'd closed herself off. With a sigh, he retreated from her, and made his way into the hall. He found Kaidan knelt beside a Cerberus corpse slumped against a railing. "What've you got?"

"He's got a transmitter in his helmet. If I can–"

As Kaidan reached his fingers all around the helmet, there was a soft _'click_ '. The front casing of the helmet fell away, a hiss of pressurised air following. Shepard and Kaidan jumped back, ready for anything. As the mist began to clear and they could see what lay inside, their faces twisted in horror.

Kaidan looked like he was about to throw-up. "My god… what _is_ that?"

The face inside the helmet was a twisted mockery of what a face _should_ be. Shepard felt his gorge rise as he recognised the filmy milk-blue eyes and threads of cybernetics worked into the skin as Reaper-tech. It looked as if the man had been partly-transformed into a husk. Yet that wasn't all. The skin looked as if it had been half rotted away, turning brown and blotchy. The lips had peeled back over decaying teeth. Veins bulged beneath the skin, black and contorted. The air around the corpse smelled like a body that had been left out in the sun for days instead of just a few minutes.

"Cerberus did this to their own guy?" Kaidan asked, aghast. Slowly, he fixed Shepard with that same horrified terror. "Is… is this what they did to you?"

"WHAT?!" Shepard snapped out of his stupor to round on the man. "How can you compare me to _him!"_

"Shepard, I don't know what you are, or who. Not since Cerberus rebuilt you."

"Oh, so I'm not just a Cerberus double-agent now, I'm promoted to Reaper-monster too?"

"I just wanna know if the person I followed into hell-and-back is still in there?"

Outraged, Shepard lunged forward and snatched hold of Kaidan's collar. He pulled the man nearly off his feet as he thrust his nose into the Major's face. "Let me be real fucking clear then so you understand. I told the Illusive Man where he could shove his credits. I cut ties with Cerberus. I was brought back only to stop the Reapers. You can either join me on that mission, or you can leave. But make up your goddamn mind!"

He shoved Kaidan away. Before the argument could escalate further, a loud crackling fought through their radios. Amidst the static, a female voice sounded in alarm. _"Shepard! Be advised!"_

"What is it EDI?" asked the Commander, composed once more. "You're breaking up."

 _"_ _Strong toxins resembling the taint are present in the corpse! Do not touch –"_

The radio went dead. Kaidan awkwardly scratched the back of his neck and attempted to break the silence. "Damn it. Storm's really working us over, huh Shepard? Shepard?"

But he was no longer listening. He knew something about this seemed off. EDI's comment of the taint in this corpse reminded Shepard of his grandest failure, the one he was apparently now paying the price for.

For the first three months of his incarceration, he'd tried everything he could to either get out, get a message out to someone, or learn whatever he could about the kidnapping of Elaine Cousland. The woman out of time, the Grey Warden who defied all logic and history with her fantastical story, the soldier who had helped him defeat the Collectors. Kidnapped as she and Shepard had been transported to Earth, Shepard had been powerless to help her. No one in the Alliance would listen to him, no one wanted him leaving Earth to go find her. Each day had been a new torture in guilt for him. He'd tried to convince others to go after her, to hunt down Cerberus and bring her back – for he was sure that it was Cerberus who had framed her of a crime she didn't commit and used it as the perfect cover to steal her away. Yet Shepard had held no authority to command anyone, and no one would tell him anything. So, he'd wallowed.

And now, Cerberus was back and with traces of the taint in them? A taint that only Elaine or the Collectors knew anything of? Shepard tried not to think of what she must've suffered during these six months. But as he carried on forward, set on a warpath that he carved through the Cerberus troops, the images refused to leave him be. Had she been tortured? Dissected? Brainwashed? Was she even still alive?

He shook his head vigorously to clear away such a thought. No! He had to believe she was still alive! Cerberus had to still have her, he wouldn't abandon her to them forever.

This vengeful fury was what fuelled him as he led the charge straight towards the archive. It gave every bullet extra power, every swing of his fist more force. It brought him before the doors to the Archives, the data they needed just beyond. He'd butchered through the Cerberus teams that had lain in wait for him up to this point. Now, all that remained between him and his objective, were three sentries posted outside the doors. Shepard paused in his automatic urge to fill them full of bullets. The three men seemed fidgety – and not as in they knew their men were getting killed and expected the enemy upon them. No, the fidgeted as if they literally had something crawling beneath their skin. One of them even twitched his head to and fro erratically.

One guard attempted to break the silence, speaking in loud whispers: "Delta and Bravo squad have gone quiet. Do we break radio silence?"

"You heard Eva, no comm. chatter." The second one then looked to the third, who seemed to be far more disturbed than the other two. "You okay there, Chuck?"

"Can't get the damn music out of my head! You hear it too! Why isn't it driving you mad?"

"You better pack that shit in, Chuck! I ain't getting sick for you! We're all hearing it, you just gotta pull it together."

"Can't. Can't. _Can't_!"

Despite how much this intrigued Shepard, the guards needed to be put down. Why had they acted so strangely? Was it the Reaper-tech? Or the taint? The third guard's comment about hearing music fit with Elaine's descriptions of the music of the Blight only a tainted creature can hear.

It was a mystery for another day as he, Kaidan and Liara killed the guards and quickly swept into the Archives – at last. Liara went straight for the terminal, her fingers moving at lightning speed over the keys as she attempted to call up the data. Kaidan cautiously walked the perimeter for any hidden threats. Shepard stood by Liara, staring up at the huge monolith that was the Prothean Archives, protected behind a cylindrical prison of safety-glass. They stood like giant versions of the Prothien Beacon he'd found on Eden Prime. The Commander shivered at the memories of the beaon invading his mind, almost tearing him apart as it forced visions into his skull.

A light drew his attention away. In a small corner, a familiar-looking pad on the floor began to light up. Flickering blue, walked on the form of a man in a black and white suit, a cigarette held between two fingers. He smirked at the glaring Commander. _"Shepard."_

Liara spun at the voice, pistol out and pointed. Then she noticed it was a hologram, and her face twisted into a sneer that matched Shepard's. "Illusive Man."

 _"_ _Fascinating race, the Protheans. They left all this for us to discover, yet we've squandered it."_ Said the older man, looking up at the archives looming above them. _"The Alliance has known about the Archives for more than thirty years, and what have they done with it?"_

Shepard was not in the mood for his philosophical bullshit. "Cut to the chase. What do you want?"

 _"_ _What I've always wanted."_ He practically purred. _"The data in these artefacts holds the key to solving the Reaper threat."_

"I've seen your 'solution'. Your people are turned into monsters."

 _"_ _Hardly. They're being improved."_ How dare he say such a thing with a straight face! _"I am crafting finer soldiers than the Alliance could ever dream of. Stronger, tougher. It's a pity you squandered such potential when you had such a solution on your ship."_

"Elaine." Shepard hissed. His worst fears had been realised, then. He stormed towards the hologram, having to remind himself that he couldn't grab hold of it or kick it in the balls for this. "You twisted bastard! You took her!"

 _"_ _I did warn you, Shepard, that there would be consequences for turning your back on me."_

"You son-of-a-bitch! Tell me where she is! Or I swear to God, I will hunt you down. There will be no corner of the Galaxy I won't search until I find you and I make you pay!"

 _"_ _How predictable."_ The Illusive Man tsked, taking a long drag of his cigarette and puffing the holographic smoke in the Commander's face. _"You see, Shepard, this is what separates you and I. Where you see a chance to destroy, I see a means to control, to dominate. Imagine how strong humanity could be if we controlled the Taint. Or the Reapers."_

Shepard stared. Where in the hell had this come from? "Earth is under siege and you're hatching a scheme to control the Reapers?!"

 _"_ _You've always been short-sighted. Hasty. Your destruction of the Collector Base proved that."_ A twitch of a glower was the only thing to betray the older man's true emotion. _"I, however, have the far-reaching vision that will see humanity through this war and beyond. This isn't your fight any longer."_

"You brought me back because you knew what I could do. You knew what I was capable of. I can defeat the Reapers. And once I'm done with that – you're next."

 _"_ _Doubtful."_ The Illusive Man shook his head, disappointed. _"You were a tool, an agent with a singular purpose. But like the rest of the relics in this place, your time is over."_

* * *

In the fringes of nowhere, even in the midst of the darkness between stars, sat a tiny little station. No colours were flown, no ship appeared in or out. The corridors were mostly deserted except for a few members of staff, barely enough to be called a skeleton crew. In one tiny room, hunched in a corner sat a shivering woman. Her long dirtied blond hair fell to her waist, matted and tangled with split ends and the roots slick with grease from so long without a wash. Nails dug into pale flesh, criss-crossed with scars and bruises. Ribs poked out through her skin, the hospital gown she wore doing very little to cover her modesty or protect her from the cold that permeated the metal cell in which she occupied.

Blindly, her hand reached into a small corner where a crack allowed only the tiniest of cubbyholes. Inside, her fingers found something smooth and round and she plucked it out. Icy blue eyes opened and glanced down at the talisman-coin she nestled in her palm, the carved face of a Drell stared up at her. She imagined the Drell coming to life, to fill her with a warm rolling voice and give her gentle advice, motivate her to continue living for another day. Cracked lips split into a deranged smile at the pleasant thought of hearing such a voice again.

But hadn't she already lived through so many days, she mentally tried to argue with the coin. Surely, she could have a break from it all, right? No, the coin told her. It reminded her that she was no coward, that she would not be broken by them, she was too stubborn to let anyone take her choice of death away from her. She was Elaine Cousland, after all, and she would bow to no foe! Her fingers closed around the coin, as it told her to live one day more. It always told her to live one day more. But she remembered all the days leading up to this one. Some had been more striking for her memory than others.

 _Day 5:_

When they'd arrived at the tiny station, they'd thrown her in her cell and closed the door behind her. For four days no one spoke a word to her, no one visited. The only time the silence inside was broken was when the tray at the bottom of the door opened to slide her meals in. Perhaps they had thought to break her with solitary confinement. Little did they think of her resolve. On the fifth day, men in armour had struggled with her as she fought like a wildcat, to drag her out of the room. They'd dragged her to a small lab, where doctors had attempted to make her undergo some tests. Simple things, like how fast or how long she could run, how much weight she could lift, how much force of impact her body could sustain. All tests to try and see where the limits of her body lay. When she'd at first refused or attempted to get loose, she was struck with electric batons. Once the tests were done, she'd been thrown in her cell.

 _Day 13:_

The tests had been interrupted when she'd been forced into a small cupboard room, with the only piece of furniture being a screen hanging on the wall. An older woman had appeared on it and had spoken with Elaine. After Elaine had exhausted her own tongue on profanities and demands and threats to be released, the woman had attempted to win her over. The drivel she spouted was to be expected. "What we are doing here is for the greater good." Or "You could help Cerberus, and humanity, immeasurably by helping us to understand." And then had come the attempt at explaining it all: "We are trying to bring Humanity to the apex of our evolution." Then came the passive-aggressive pressure on her sense of morality: "Think of all the suffering you could alleviate, the people you would save, if you help us." When the woman had done her preaching, Elaine had told her exactly where to shove it.

 _Day 32:_

The physical tests had ended abruptly and had been replaced by the horrors of modern medicine. On that day it had merely been blood samples taken away, skin flakes, hair and finger-nail fragments. But in the days that would follow would come more variation with the needles and vials and scissors. Toxins might be pumped into her blood-stream to see how well she coped, or maybe an infection would purposefully be given on another day to see how quickly she fought the disease. But on that day, as she was escorted back to her cell, came her first escape attempt. She'd been planning it for the past month, constructing it around the schedule of her captors. As she was pushed back into her cell, she latched onto her guard and pulled him to her embrace and broke his collar bone. The second guard had tried to call for help, which she'd tried to silence by attempting to strangle him with her bedding sheets. But her mercy to the first guard had betrayed her. Other guards had swarmed in and beaten her until she was black and blue and unconscious. She'd woken up to her cell being empty of any bed or blankets that she might use again, leaving her to sleep on the cold metal floor.

 _Day 79_

She had long known that the man who had captured her, Kei Leng, was the man in charge of this whole facility. She would often spy him peeking through windows during her tests or observing in some corner of the room. But this was the first time he ever chose to be alone with her. He'd come into her cell and told her to fight. Elaine had been most confused at first, but devising another opportunity to escape, she had taken it. But weak from blood-tests, underfed, she was not what she used to be, and of course he didn't fight fair. She gave as good as she got, but he'd taken the fight until he finally used a taser on her to gain the advantage. He'd held her down, he'd goaded her. At first, she'd thought he intended to violate her. But Kei Leng at first only beat her down and crowed with triumph on how he was better than her, better than _anyone_. Once he was finished, he allowed her guards to come and drag her away. She was put in the tiny room with the screen again, where the woman appeared and tried to brainwash her. It was the same usual lines Elaine had always expected of Cerberus: "Aliens are not our allies," or "We must protect ourselves from the inevitable alien threat," or "Cerberus is only looking out for humanity's best interests, to advance us towards our destiny – galactic dominance." And then had come the blow too close to home: "You have sullied yourself by consorting with the enemy; help Cerberus and this will be your chance to redeem yourself." Elaine had flown into such a rage, she'd smashed the screen into pieces with her bare hands.

 _Day 100_

Then came the worst days of all. After being dragged from her cell, Elaine had assumed more blood-tests had been in order. But as she was strapped down to a table, almost to the point where the belts and buckles restricted her from breathing, she'd learned the terrible truth: mere blood samples were not enough anymore. As the doctors had approached, Elaine had screamed and tried to break free. She even managed to break one of the restraints. But then men were holding her down just long enough for the doctors to pierce her skin with their needles. She'd felt rushing warmth, and then darkness. When she woke up, she was back in her cell, feeling extremely weak, sickly even. At the side of her waist was now a neat row of stitches, perhaps as long as a finger. It was the first of many times Elaine would be carried off to surgery, to have parts of her cut away piece by piece.

 _Day 154_

The fringes of insanity had begun to creep in, and the only way to combat it was to have a small scant hope. She'd planned and executed another escape attempt. She'd starved herself for two days, not touching the trays pushed through the small metal slot in the bottom of her door. The jailor had noticed as he opened the hatch, the previous meal lay untouched. He had to take the old one away, but it was out of reach of the slot. Elaine had waited, silent and still beside the door, out of sight. She waited until the moment the hand reached through to grab the old tray, and that's when she struck. Viciously, she'd pulled the man through the hatch as far as his broad shoulders would allow. Her mercy had damned her the first time, she wouldn't let it happen again. Grabbing hold of the hatch, she'd slammed it down on the man's neck to stop his screams. She'd slammed it on his throat over and over until he lay almost decapitated in a growing pool of blood. Elaine had tried to work the body in a certain way so she might reach for the keys on his belt. But her luck had run out. Guards appeared and took away the body. When she'd next gone to surgery, she woke up in a new cell, this one with no slot in the door. From that point on, she had to take her meals being force-fed down her throat.

 _Day 180_

All throughout her captivity, she'd been interrogated almost daily by her captors: what was the nature of the taint? What were Grey Wardens? How did she become what she is? Could she replicate the initiation? What were the side-effects? She always gave them nothing. Yet now, it seemed that whatever results they were getting from the samples they were taking from her were not good enough. Frustration was running rampant in their body-language. Demanding answers, they'd finally taken her into the surgery room. Elaine had thought they would cut her again, give her a new scar. But instead, after they'd strapped her down, they'd begun to interrogate her again with new vigour. When she gave them either no answer or a sarcastic one, she was electrocuted. With each question, the voltage was cranked higher, the pain made more intense. They wanted answers, but they also wanted to see how far she could go until her body gave out. Elaine had tried to keep her expression cool. She tried to deny them a reaction. But eventually, she began to grit her teeth, her muscles spasmed, her breathing grew laboured, and when the dam burst, she was screaming. She held on for as long as she could, but eventually lost consciousness and awoke once more in her cell, unable to move from exhaustion.

And now here she sat, 182 days after her capture, playing with a coin, counting her old and fresher scars, with a fool's hope diminishing in her heart. She tried to listen to the hope the coin offered, tried to remember what she needed to get back to. There was a quest she had to complete, people waiting for her. As she imagined finally fighting free of this nightmare and going home to a ship that sailed the stars (it felt almost like a myth now), she tried not to accidentally fall asleep. Not even her dreams were safe anymore. Always filled with nightmares of either her continuous torture or the monster and the dragon that awaited her.

Suddenly her door opened. Elaine hurriedly pushed the coin back into its hiding spot. She scrambled to her feet, blinking to try and adjust her eyes to the bright light beyond the door. In stepped a familiar lean figure, and he closed the door behind him with a loud screech. "Hello, Flower," he said.

He'd always called her that. Since the first time he came into her cell, he'd said: "You're not a warrior, not really, more like a delicate flower." And now he used it to mock, yet also spoke with the same soft tones one might use with an endearment, just to make her skin crawl. Elaine said nothing to him, just glared.

"Come on, Flower, you know the routine. Give it your best shot."

She remained where she was, back pressed against the wall. Kei Leng liked to show his control over her; she had a suspicion that he somehow got off on being dominant, on being able to show her who was stronger. Each time he came to her cell, she consoled herself with the promise that once she was free, once she was healed, once she was back to her full strength, she would tear him apart. But for now, she had to win smaller victories, such as defying his authority, not giving into him, show him he didn't have the dominance over her he wanted.

Leng's eyes, hidden behind strange shaded spectacles, narrowed – she could tell by the now familiar way his brows and cheeks pinched. "I said, fight."

Elaine remained where she was.

He stormed towards, a rush meant to spook her. She stepped away from the wall, planted her feet and stood her ground, scowling into his face as he came at her. A tight, bone-crushing grip grabbed hold of her wrist, his shoulder slammed into her chest. The air was forced out of her lungs and her bruised and battered body nearly crumpled in exhaustion. His knee forced her legs apart as he unbalanced her, his forearm pressed against her collarbone to pin her to the wall. Mind reeling, her instincts kicked in.

Knee jerking upwards, she slammed it up into his ribs. The blow should've winded him as he did her, but of course, he was still wearing armour, and she had on nothing but a frail dirtied sheet of paper. Leng grunted, but more damage was done to Elaine as her knee reverberated with the blow. Her free arm came up and she grabbed hold of his hair and yanked it back. The man hissed and slammed her body back into the wall.

A whimper tried to escape, but Elaine clenched her teeth on the sound. That was enough, her battered body could give her no more. Fury burned in her stomach to think she had fallen so low.

Leng smirked as he leaned his head close to hers, until their noses almost touched. "See? Wasn't that fun–"

Elaine's head shot forward and slammed into Leng's nose. She saw stars, Leng gasped and released her as he stumbled back. Heavy like a stone, she fell in a heap on the floor. Somewhere in her frazzled mind, she could hear a young Krogan cheering for her that that had been a superb headbutt. But her triumph didn't last long. Before she could regain her feet, Kei Leng was on her again, growling savagely, blood dripping from his nose. That had been the third time she'd broken it. Harsh hands grabbed hold of her and hoisted her into the air. She was slammed face-first into the wall. Her cheek was scrapped raw, her breasts were squashed and Leng wrenched her arms behind her back until they nearly popped out of their sockets. Her breathing came out as hisses. Leng pressed his thigh against her backside, pushed his chest against her back.

"You know I like it when you play dirty, Flower," he whispered beside her ear, almost like a lover would. But all he did was repulse her, his touch made her want to punch him, his confusing false-affectionate gestures made her want to vomit. He was nothing like what a lover should be! He was not gentle, not reverent, not _loving!_ Not like –

 _NO!_ she vehemently thought and stamped down that thought before she could finish it. She refused to think of that, think of _him_. At first, his name had been reserved for her dreams, she didn't want her captors to know about him, to find him and hurt him, or hurt her through him. But after so many lonely nights, so many maddening days, she had come to refuse to think of him. She refused to even imagine his smiling face waiting for her, his kind eyes, or the warmth of his arms. Tears pricked her eyes, and she tried to rid him from her mind. The longing in her heart was too painful. If she lingered on it any longer, it would be the final straw that would send her spiralling into insanity.

"You know," Leng was saying into her ear, "I'm going to miss this. Our little _parties_ are always the highlight of my week. But don't worry, Flower, I won't be gone long. Just a few little jobs for the Illusive Man. When I get back, I'll be sure to make up for lost time."

And then, he did something he'd never done before. He leaned in, and he kissed her. Just a brief peck on the cheek. But still, Elaine couldn't stop herself from squealing in disgust. His laughter echoed around the metal chamber as he released her and strutted out of the room. Elaine clawed at her cheek, trying to scrape away the loathsome feeling of his touch. The door slammed closed behind him, and she was left in the darkness once more.

* * *

Menae was a complete mess. Shepard had been hoping the Turians were giving the Reapers a hard time, they were famed throughout the galaxy for their military prowess. It was disheartening to think that the greatest army in the galaxy were still being pummelled by the Reapers. Yet Anderson had ordered him to recruit the races to help Earth, and damnit, that's what Shepard was going to do! Somehow, in the last twenty-four hours, the fate of the galaxy, of Earth, now relyied on a summit that demanded united support from all the council races. And Shepard was playing errand boy to fetch a Turian Primarch.

And of course, it couldn't just be a simple pickup. That would be _too_ easy.

"Succession is usually simple," General Corinthus was telling him. "But right now, the hierarchy's in chaos. So many dead or MIA."

Shepard was beginning to lose his tether. Mars had been a shit-fest, Kaidan was barely alive in a hospital on the Citadel, Shepard apparently was suffering from some really freaky nightmares, the Council had refused to help Earth – because _why_ should he expect help from them at this point – and now the original Primarch was dead, and apparently no one knew who the new Primarch was gonna be.

He made his irritation plain in his voice. "I need someone – I don't care who – as long as they can get us the Turian resources we need."

"I'm on it, Shepard," came a voice, so familiar and welcomed at such a dire time, Shepard couldn't help the corners of his mouth upturning into a smile. "We'll find you the Primarch."

And there he stood, tall and proud in heavy silver and blue armour. His signature visor glowed angelic blue, lighting up the secret smile that twitched on his mandibles. Garrus seemed to stand a little taller than what Shepard remembered, all the attention in the camp seeming to be directed straight onto him. When even the General saluted Garrus, Shepard's best friend took it in stride, like he was born for this. But Shepard knew him well enough to spot the ever so slight bashful shift of his eyes.

Shepard eagerly marched up to his friend and clasped his wrist in a firm shake. "It's good to see you again. Though I'd thought you'd be on Palaven."

"If we lose this moon, we lose Palaven." Garrus corrected gravely. "I'm the closest damn thing we have to an expert on Reaper forces, so I'm… advising."

As Shepard proudly introduced Garrus to Vega, and pleasantries were exchanged with Liara, Shepard could feel a bit of his hope returning. With one more old friend and good soldier on his side, he could almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was still a long way off, but Shepard knew his crew, knew what they were capable of. It was something he'd learned the long and hard way back against the Collectors. But he knew that with them still in this fight, his chances of getting this done would be a hell of a lot easier.

And then, Garrus shifted to speak to the General, and Shepard's eyes caught on something on his back. His smile vanished.

Strapped to Garrus' back, right in between the holders for his sniper-rifle and assault-rifle, was a sword. And not just any sword. Shepard instantly recognised the unique shape, even when sheathed in its scabbard. A hint of the blade's strange blue-grey metal peeked out at the top. That was Starfang… Elaine's sword. Shepard had been there on that day she'd given it to him, when Shepard and Elaine were to be arrested by the Alliance. She'd given it to Garrus, for him to keep it safe on the promise that he could return it to her once they were reunited. Shepard had watched them from a small way off and had smiled. Now, all the sword did was fill him with dread.

That same dread followed him as Garrus led him and Vega across the battlefield to where General Victus – the new Primarch – had last been spotted. As they climbed steep hills and leapt over fissures, Shepard couldn't stop his eyes from returning to that sword. It taunted him from where it rested on Garrus' back. Like it was accusing him, reminding him of his failure, how he had failed to tell Garrus that the woman he loved had been taken. Garrus couldn't have known, he'd made no mention of it, and the way he spoke was as if everything was alright. The longer the elephant in the room went unaddressed, the more anxious Shepard became for when it would burst.

And eventually, it did.

They managed to find General Victus, and convinced him to leave the battle and return to the Normandy in order to chair the war-summit. Though stubbornly refusing in order to stay in the fight with his fellow soldiers at first, Shepard had managed to get him on board with a single promise: bring in the Krogan. It was a hefty price, and Shepard didn't know if he could deliver. But for Victus' integrity, and his no-bullshit attitude, Shepard greatly admired him. He wished all political leaders were like Victus and Anderson – those two would get on like peas in a pod.

"Without him down here, there's a good chance we lose this moon." said Garrus, coming over to stand beside Shepard as Victus went off to say his farewells to his men.

Shepard didn't miss a beat in his retort. "Without him up there, there's a good chance we lose _everything_."

A loud, spine-shivering roar echoed from miles off, the grating cacophony of a Reaper. Shepard and Garrus looked out into the distance, as a Reaper capital-ship stomped through a far-off battle, destroying everything in its path. Garrus slumped at the sight.

"Look at that!" he exclaimed. "And they want my opinion on how to stop it? Failed C-SEC officer, vigilante… and _I'm_ their expert advisor?" he shook his head, huffing in disbelief. "Think you can win this thing, Shepard?"

"Yeah, I don't know, Garrus," Shepard murmured truthfully. "But I'm sure as hell gonna give it my best shot."

Garrus turned to face the Commander, an easy smirk working across his face. "I'm damn sure nobody else can do it. For whatever it's worth, I'm with you." He held out his hand.

Shepard shook it. "Welcome aboard."

"You may have given me some incentive," Garrus chuckled and pulled the sword from off his back. "With you and Elaine out of incarceration finally, I can give this thing back. Though I'll admit it's saved my life more than once in the past few weeks. It'll be good to see her again. I expected her on the ground with you – she could never resist a good fight. Where is she?"

Shepard felt his stomach drop into his toes. Garrus must've read the moment Shepard's smile faded, or the guilty look in his eyes. It was suddenly hard to speak past the lump in his throat. "I… I'm sorry, Garrus. I don't know where she is. Cerberus has her."


	2. The Jailbreak

The tiny station in the middle of nowhere needed to stay as discreet and off the grid as possible. That was why it only needed a shuttle to send in supplies once in a while. As the small craft landed into the tiny hanger, only two personnel were there to greet it and help unloading. There were few pleasantries exchanged, the lot of them cold and wanting to go their separate ways as quickly as they came.

From the back of the shuttle, a flicker of light was the only give away to a figure that moved quietly out into the hanger. With the lightest of footfalls, Kasumi treaded her way into the station. After months of searching and investigating and going through all the scum of the galaxy, she'd managed to find it. At last. Tucking herself into one small corner of the hanger, she called up her omnitool and the message she'd had primed for this moment. She sent it out to a specific encoded frequency and prayed it would reach its destination with no hiccups.

With that out of the way, she snuck in past the main doors that would lead her further into the station. If she had to guess, the best way to find her target was to go to the control-centre and hack the information she needed. Now that she was here, Kasumi wanted there to be no mistakes when finding her missing friend. The rest of this needed to go smoothly.

Like she'd told Elaine before, she'd never stolen a _person_ yet. And she always preferred it when plans went off without a hitch. But knowing her luck, that was very rarely the case. Maybe she could tip the odds in her favour by messing around with a few things…

* * *

Over the course of her imprisonment, Elaine had eventually taken notice of the rhythm of her captors. She knew that a station like this could not run itself indefinitely, they would need supplies, food, as well as the fact she knew the samples the scientists stole from her body would need to be sent _somewhere_. Usually, when those supplies came in, there were less guards around her cell, the people she might encounter would be tense.

All those things were happening now. She was scheduled for another operation today, and it happened to fall on a day when the supplies would be coming in. A single guard came for her, overcompensating his aloneness by showing off his 'impressive' tasers and other instruments to make her behave. Behind her back, Elaine fiddled with the Drell talisman between her fingers. Kei Leng was gone, the supplies were being brought in which meant transport… this was her best opportunity yet to escape.

She struggled when the guard tried to force her out of the room. If she had been too compliant, he would be suspicious. In the struggle, he tasered her and beat her with his heavy armour, and Elaine used the scuffle to mask her putting the talisman in her mouth. Once she was sufficiently cowed, the guard handcuffed her and then escorted her out and towards the cutting-room.

Elaine remained silent and cooperative, even if she scowled and hissed the entire time. When she was finally strapped down on the table, she noticed there was only one doctor. Usually there were two. Perhaps the Maker had finally sent her some good luck. The doctor did not attempt to converse with her, they never did. When Elaine had first arrived, she'd tried to plead, to reason, and then shouted and threatened. They never gave a response, going about their business as if she were as sentient as a Nug. Within plain sight of her, the Doctor began to prepare all his instruments. He wanted her to watch him line them up, wanted the anticipation, he wouldn't send her to sleep until the last possible moment. This one was the doctor that had conducted her electrocution-interrogation a few days ago. Good; Elaine would have no issue with what needed to be done.

Neatly lining up tongs, scissors and scalpels on a small table to Elaine's left, the doctor hummed to himself. Elaine's tongue pressed the coin to the roof of her mouth, ignoring the acidic taste of metal. Without warning, the lights up above flickered and then surged to life, brighter than before. All around the room, machines began to shriek and short-circuit. The doctor turned to look, perplexed.

Deciding she wouldn't get a better opportunity, Elaine took a breath, and swallowed the coin.

She felt the moment it became lodged in her throat. Her body instinctively coughed and hacked and began to try and dislodge the obstruction. She felt her bile rise in her throat. Foam dribbled out of the side of her lips. The doctor spun back to her, eyes widening as he noticed her convulsing as she choked to death. Immediately he attempted to open her mouth to spy down her gullet at what was causing this. He thumped her chest, but it did nothing. Cursing, the doctor ran to her other side and hurriedly began to unstrap her right arm as her eyes started to role into the back of her head. Once her arm was free, he rolled her onto her left side, and began to work her front and back to try and force the obstruction out.

In a flash, Elaine's arm whipped out and grabbed hold of a scalpel on the table right in front of her. Flipping back over, she brought her arm down and drove the scalpel blade into the doctor's neck. The man gasped and gurgled, stiffening as the injury punctured through his jugular. With a wrench of her hand, Elaine ripped open his neck from one side to the other, the blade worked so deep he was almost headless. Blood spurted all over her but she hardly blinked. As the doctor fell to the floor, Elaine tried to snatch at the keys on his belt to undo her other arm, but her bloodied fingers were too slick, and it slipped from her grasp.

Growling to herself, she worked her stomach in such a way that she gave a powerful barking-cough. Thane's coin sailed out of her mouth and landed on the table at her feet. The Warden stared down at her left arm, at the restraints that held her in place. The chain kept her bound to the table, and without the key, it would need to be broken. Grabbing hold of it with both hands, Elaine pulled it taught, and then heaved with all her might in a twisting motion. It took all the force she had, her entire body shaking, and her teeth gritted with the effort. But then, all at once, she felt something SNAP, and the weak link in the chain broke.

Balance a little off, she half stumbled onto the floor, bare feet almost slipping in the puddle of cooling blood. She only paused a moment to pick up Thane's coin from where it had fallen, before tucking it into the knickers Cerberus had thought fitting to dress her in, along with her hospital robe. Stooping over the body, Elaine searched the dead-doctor's wrists for the black bracelet that was his omnitool. Snapping it onto her own wrist, she then immediately headed for the door. She didn't know how long the supply shuttle would stay docked before leaving again. Going off of the worst possible outcome, Elaine would need to make her way to the hanger in the quickest time she could manage – no matter if she wanted to take her time to slaughter every Cerberus bastard on this station.

At the door, she swiped her omnitool over the green button that floated in the middle of the door. She'd seen the personnel of this station do the same thing a hundred times; like keys. The door opened for her immediately, and she was greeted with the back of the guard that had escorted her here. Turning at the unexpected disturbance, the guard didn't even have time to shout, or raise his taser. Elaine expertly drove the scalpel still in her hand into the juncture between his neck and shoulder, the one spot on his body his bulky armour didn't protect. As the man screeched and clutched at his neck, Elaine's other hand reached for his belt and pulled out his pistol. A lesson from what seemed like a lifetime ago entered her mind. It informed her where to switch off the safety, so the gun would unfold for her. In the same motion, she kicked the guard over and then shot him through the chest. He was silenced, but not dead straight away. Death would be a slow few minutes for him. But the Warden's mercy had dried up, and besides, she didn't know how many shots she would be allowed with this pistol. She had to conserve it for when she would have need of it.

Retrieving her scalpel from the guard's neck, just for the comfort of feeling a blade in her hand, the woman walked down the long hallway. Someone must've heard the shot, for around the corner, two people were running in her direction. Elaine shot at one of them, aiming for the chest, but she had never been excellent with her aim. It went through the stomach instead. Still, it got the job done. The other person, a woman, screamed as she watched her companion fall. She was another one of the doctors.

The woman realised the danger and went to run. Elaine wouldn't have it. Before the woman could even make it two steps, Elaine lunged forward and snatched hold of the woman's hair. Yanking, she took a cold satisfaction in hearing the woman screech in pain. Slamming the woman against the wall of the corridor, Elaine restrained her by pressing her forearm along the doctor's collarbone, and then pressed the scalpel blade against her windpipe. Instantly, she went still, whimpering pathetically as she tried to shy away from the cold touch of steel.

"Where's the shuttle?" Elaine demanded in a quiet voice. "Is it still here?!"

"Yes – yes!" the doctor pleaded. "We're on l-lockdown since the power-spike. I-It's still in the hanger!"

"Where?" when the doctor didn't answer, Elaine pressed the scalpel in just enough to cut the skin. " _Where."_

"D-D-Down the hall! Third right – it-it leads to the elevator!" she squeaked. Elaine stared down at where the woman had told her, as if she might see it for herself. A hopeful little noise drew her attention back to the doctor. "I-I told you what you want. W-Will you let me go? Please! I have a little brother..."

Elaine smiled – and then slit her throat.

* * *

Kasumi froze mid-step when the alarms started to blare across the station. Usually, if she heard an alarm when on a heist, it meant she'd made a mistake – and Kasumi Goto did NOT make mistakes. She had thought everything had been going well. She'd found the control room, had spiked the power-grid to throw everyone off, and had even put a virus in the security system to be sure the cameras wouldn't pick her up. After that it had been child's play to find out where they were keeping Elaine.

Now, half way down the corridor, she looked around and tried to figure out what had gone wrong. No guards were running her way, there was no usual 'intruder-alert' in the alarm. Calling up her omnitool, she tried to see if she could decipher it herself. Her hacking finally earned her a reward: apparently it was a containment breech…

Kasumi's heart leapt with excitement. The hunt had just gotten a little easier. Spinning on her heel, she ran back the way she'd come, towards the elevator. If Elaine was out, she would be trying to make her way to an exit: the shuttle-bay.

But as the master-thief turned the corner, her footsteps skidded to a sudden halt and her stomach churned. Three bodies were strewn across the corridor. They all had bullet-holes through their midsections, and their throats punctured or slit. From floor to ceiling, the corridor was splattered in blood. One guard in uniform even still had his hand reached for the alarm on the wall, a streak of crimson on the tiles where he had slid down to the ground. Kasumi swallowed thickly and attempted to pick her way through the battlefield without touching any of the gore. She tried to keep her breathing even, fighting her own memory as it attempted to conjure up flashbacks of the mission in the Collector Base. She'd only just started getting over her nightmares from that awful experience, she didn't want anything to set her back down that path.

The elevator was a welcomed relief as it closed off the grizzly scene from sight and carried her down. Kasumi's foot jiggled with a trapped nerve. Earlier excitement was now tempered with a growing dread the further down the elevator took her. She was not stupid, she knew it had to be Elaine who had done that butchery. But Elaine wasn't that merciless, she was usually the moral example back on Shepard's ship. What had they done to her?

The doors opened onto the hanger, and Kasumi stifled a squeak as a body immediately flopped over the door-threshold. Three more bodies littered the hanger. One had managed to get a pistol out, his fingers still clasped around it, the muzzle still smoking. He'd gotten a shot off, but it hadn't helped. A scalpel was buried almost completely in his eye-socket. Kasumi turned her head away, determined to not throw up or let the images trigger that sense of claustrophobia and hysteria her dreams of the Collector Base did.

 _BANG!_ Went off a shot from the open door of the shuttle Kasumi had come in on. Heartbeat thrashing in alarm, Kasumi sprinted for the vessel. But as she came to the open hatch, a blur of black was thrown out, a body landing right in front of her. The pilot.

"Don't move." Said a cold voice.

From the shadows of the shuttle, came the barrel of a gun pointed for Kasumi's chest. Holding it was a blood-splattered hand leading to a thin and sickly-pale wrist. A woman stepped forward, and it took Kasumi a moment to recognise her. The long pale-gold hair was a dirtied and matted mess, the skin gaunt and bruised and blood streaked. She wore a hospital-gown that looked like it had been shredded to the point where only strings of it were keeping it together. Her other bicep was bleeding from the graze of a bullet-wound; likely the one shot the guard had managed to get lucky with. But what made Kasumi root her feet to the spot, her hands going up and her knees knocking together with fear, were the eyes. Elaine's eyes were usually an extraordinary bright icy-blue, but now, there was a dangerous and severe gleam to them that made it look like they glowed in her head.

The Warden seemed to study Kasumi, and her lips twisted in a sneer. "Another phantom? Come to torment me with faces well beyond my reach…"

Her voice was hollow, distant, and Kasumi realised that her friend was likely delirious, possibly verging on insanity. Though her insides were quivering, she dared to step forward. "Elaine? Please… it's me, it's Kasumi. I came to find you. Remember what I said? I said I'd give it six months–"

"You are either a figment of my imagination," Elaine interrupted with a cool snarl, "Or you are a nasty ploy by Cerberus – wearing the face of someone I care for to get my compliance. Either way," she stepped forward and pressed the gun to Kasumi's chest, "should your master – whomever he may be – want you back, he can pay my demands for you. Get in."

Kasumi nodded and did as she was told. This was not the friend she'd known, not the friend she'd come to rescue. Her heart twisted at the thought of what six months in this place must've done to poor sweet Elaine. Despite the fact that this was scary as hell, Kasumi did as instructed and sat herself in the corner of the shuttle. As soon as Elaine took her eyes off her, she seemed to completely forget she was there. Aimlessly, she went to the pilot's seat and flicked a button to have the shuttle fly on its intended course. Kasumi realised Elaine must've gotten the pilot to key-in the command codes and set a course before she'd murdered him.

Once the shuttle had eased out through the hanger doors and was cruising through the black void of the stars, Elaine stood by the window, staring out at the abyss of space, transfixed. Kasumi watched, fascinated, as a single tear slid down the woman's cheek. And then, slowly, she sat herself on the floor, tucked behind the pilot's seat and huddled into the smallest ball she could possibly make of herself. All at once, a retching-coughing sound erupted from her, as Elaine burst into a fit of uncontrollable sobs. She wept and wept into her knees, clutching her pistol in a vice-like grip, her teeth biting her wrists in an attempt to stifle her own mournful sounds.

Kasumi felt like crying herself as she watched her damaged friend break apart. More than anything, she wanted to crawl over and comfort Elaine. But she knew one sudden move would set her off again, and then Kasumi would be very-dead. Her only hope now, was that Shepard – or even _someone_ – got her message and came running.

* * *

One crisis averted aboard the Normandy, thanks to EDI going rogue, Shepard found himself faced with another. He stood in front of the Battery doors and felt reluctant to enter. Was it his imagination, or did the light overhead not seem to penetrate this corner of the ship? It seemed as if the shadows condensed and formed around the doorframe, issuing a foreboding warning to any who dared to come close.

Shepard had wanted to talk to Garrus since they left the Apien Crest. But then everyone had wanted him to sort out the problem in the AI core, and then he'd had near ship-wide panic over the robot walking around that had previously tried to kill everyone. Primarch Victus had told Shepard that Garrus had disappeared without so much as a word as soon as coming aboard, heading straight for the Battery. The turian had been silent the entire journey back since Shepard had told him the news of Elaine's disappearance. And now Shepard had to own up to a conversation with his angry best friend he was sure he didn't want to have.

As he stepped into the Battery, he was not prepared for the wash of red light and deep shadows, broken only by the faint glow of a battle map conjured on a terminal on the left-wall. Garrus was right in front of Shepard, hip leaning against the main-gun console, arms crossed over his chest, face awash in shadows. With the bandage Garrus had sported during the suicide-mission now gone, the scars had he'd obtained on Omega were now laid bare for all to see. Shepard had thought them cool-looking when he'd first seen Garrus on Menae, but with the turian's furious expression, it gave him a look of pure menace that set the Commander on edge.

"Garrus," Shepard began softly, "I know you're upset, but–"

"Upset?" Garrus echoed in an odd, detached tone. "Nah. I'm not upset. I'm _fucking FURIOUS!"_

The roar that burst out of Garrus was so sudden and loud, Shepard's ears rang. Instantly, Shepard's calm and placid approach vanished in the face of such insolence. "Watch your tone, Garrus. I'm not the enemy here, so don't be an ass with me."

"Well, try and see this from my perspective, Shepard," Garrus said, uncoiling his arms and pacing back and forth across the width of the Battery. "I left you two on the Normandy, heading off with the Alliance for Earth. As soon as you left, all contact stopped. I tried contacting the Alliance, I tried sending messages, I tried going through the proper channels. Hell, even when I got a little weight behind my name with this task-force, I tried giving a little shove to get people to talk. But you know what I got every time? ' _The crew of the Normandy is under investigation and cannot be contacted at this time.'_ " Finally, he stopped and turned to the Commander. All the previous aggression was gone, but the stress still made his sub-harmonics flang. "What happened, Shepard?"

"It was a setup from the start," the human said with a sigh, deciding to let all his own tension go as well, leaning his back against the wall. He ran a hand over his exhausted face; damn, he needed sleep that wasn't beset by nightmares. "I should've seen it coming. When I cut ties with the Illusive Man, he was pissed. Cerberus must've activated their sleeper-agents inside the Alliance or something."

"Yeah, but how did they manage to get her off Earth without the whole Alliance Navy in the way?"

"No, Garrus. The last time I saw Elaine, we were forced onto separate shuttles to get to Earth. When I made it down, the other shuttle had disappeared. They must've taken her during the transfer."

Silence. Garrus stared, blinking stupidly as his brain tried to compute the words he'd just heard. Shepard didn't think Turians could go pale, but by the sudden loss of blood in his neck, Garrus achieved something similar. "Wait… you're telling me Cerberus has had her for six _months_?!" he turned away, hands holding his brow-plates as if he had a massive headache. Suddenly, his fist shot out and smashed into the wall, a loud _CLANG_ echoing around the room. Shepard thought he'd have to rebuke him again, but when Garrus spun back around to face him, there was a terrified sorrow in his expression as he came straight to his friend, and started to beg. "Spirits, Shepard! W-we need to find her! You remember the sick experiments on Rachni and Thorian-creepers, right? They could be doing anything to her, we need to get her out of there!"

Shepard couldn't meet his eyes for a second. "If she's even still alive…"

"No!" the Turian jumped back, a single talon pointed at Shepard in defiance. "Don't you dare dump all this on me now and then say she's dead. I won't accept that."

"Don't you think I wanna find her too?" he snapped. "I wanna tear up half this galaxy – I've got Liara working through her agents to try and track her down. But I _can't_ , not while the Reapers are here and tearing us apart. I have to stay focused on our mission, at least until we've got a little breathing room. Garrus–" his hand grabbed hold of his friend's arm, forcing him to look in his eye. "–I need you with me on this."

There was a moment of silence, and Garrus swallowed thickly. Another beat passed, then two, then three. Finally, Garrus let out a long sigh, his shoulders slumping as if the weight of the world had just been dumped onto him. He collapsed heavily onto the little cot that was still pressed into the corner of the room. From his back, he retrieved Starfang, and held the blade delicately in his hands, running his talons along the bright blue blade and the strange symbols engraved there.

When he spoke, his voice was small, almost unrecognisable in its hopelessness. "She gave this to me, told me to hold onto it, until she found her way back to us. Funny, when I was told I had to immediately go up to Menae, this was the first thing I grabbed…"

And now that reunion might never happen. The words didn't need to be said aloud. A twist of guilt sharpened in Shepard's stomach. Though he understood the logic of his orders to stay focused on this mission, it was hard, even for him, to listen to them. He felt so sorry for his friend, holding the sword of the woman he obviously cared for. In that moment of stillness, of inadequate words he couldn't say, Shepard found his mind wondering: what would he do in Garrus' place? What if it were Liara who had been taken? Wouldn't he be wanting to stop at nothing to get her back? He already knew the answer to that question.

He opened his mouth, maybe to say something – anything – that might ease this burden on his best friend. But before the words could leave him, the door abruptly opened and Liara came rushing into the room, panting. She looked around wildly until her eyes found the Commander's. "Shepard! One of my agents just forwarded this to me. You need to see this!"

She thrust a datapad at him. Recognising the urgency in her tone, both Shepard and Garrus were immediately on their feet and crowding round her. Shepard took the datapad from the asari's small hands, reading over the small message on the screen. Garrus leaned over his shoulder so that he could see the words also.

 _Hey Shep,_

 _Thought you might be interested in my next heist. I'm in the Styx Theta about to precure the one of a kind 'Grey Griffon'. We had fun on Bekenstein, hope to see you join me._

 _Don't leave me hanging._

 _Ms Goto_

* * *

 **Author's Note: the response to last chapter was amazing guys! Thank you so much, I'm glad you're all so excited to see where this story goes!**

 **Please leave another review! I live for all feedback, it helps me improve immeasurably, and it fills my soul with warm feels!**


	3. The Reunion

"The _Grey Griffon_?" Joker asked, cocking a brow at Shepard over his shoulder. "Are we sure Kasumi's not trolling us?"

"Elaine's a Grey Warden, her shield has a griffon painted on the front," Garrus snapped impatiently before Shepard could respond. "It's blatantly obvious."

"Oh yeah… _blatantly…_ "

"Shepard," EDI piped up from the co-pilot seat, her new face morphing an expression of distant concentration. "I am picking up a distress signal from the Styx Theta system."

The Commander nodded. "Patch it through."

They waited as EDI brought forth the message to fill the cockpit. When it did, at first, they didn't recognise the voice that came through to them. It was hoarse as if from disuse, cold and almost menacing, yet at the same time it sounded so infinitely tired.

 _"_ _My name is Elaine Cousland, last surviving child of Tyern Bryce Cousland of Highever, and last Grey Warden. I have been held captive by Cerberus for the past 186 days. I am seeking the ship called the Normandy SR2, captained by Commander Shepard – or used to be. Please… I need to get back to them… I-I need help. I don't know how long it will take for Cerberus to find me again. But I won't let them take me. If anyone can hear this… at least promise me to make the Bastards pay."_

When the message was finished, Shepard noticed Garrus' rigid posture, and the way his fists were clenched at his sides to the point of shaking. Hesitantly, Shepard reached out and grasped hold of his shoulder, shaking him reassuringly. Garrus seemed to snap out of his daze momentarily and glanced down at his Commander. Silently, he nodded his thanks.

"Joker," Shepard commanded, "I want us on her location ASAP."

"On it!"

Abruptly, EDI sat a little straighter. "Shepard, I am noting two Cerberus vessels inbound for Elaine's location. They are following the Shuttle's transponder."

"Okay – double time it then, Joker!" he then turned to Garrus, and saw that the turian was already eagerly trying to make a hasty exit. "Garrus, call up James and the pair of you suit up. Let's bring our little-miss-princess home."

* * *

As Elaine pulled her hand away from recording and sending out the distress-message, she closed her eyes and just took a moment to appreciate the silence. It was almost frightening, overwhelming, to be stood underneath the glow of stars in the quietness, to know that her aching body could _rest_ for the first time in six months. Her cheeks were still soaked with the tears she'd barely finished crying before she'd tried to pull herself together to formulate a plan. Her arm was throbbing from the bullet-graze, her weakened and bruised body was almost ready to collapse from the effort of just keeping her standing.

But for that one moment, she was free and the gloriousness of the quiet it offered was marvellous.

"Elaine?" came a little voice from the back of the shuttle. The Warden groaned. So, the apparition was back. She turned to look at the small hooded ghost in the corner of the shuttle, watching her with such avid concern Elaine could almost believe it was real. But there was no possibility of that, she told herself. Just as there was no real possibility of this being the real Kasumi, or Shepard or the Normandy coming to her rescue. It was just a fantasy she played along with in order to save the last shred of her sanity.

"Leave me, spectre," she intoned coldly. It hurt to think her own mind was playing tricks on her, that it would torment her with visions of the friends and loved ones she could no longer have. She thumbed the coin she'd retrieved and ran her thumb over its familiar surface. "Allow me some peace."

"Elaine," said the voice again, softer, pleadingly. "I know it's been hard for you, but it's really me. I came here to help you."

"Then I thank you. Even if it was too little too late."

The ghost flinched. Odd; figments of the imagination did not usually get offended.

"Will you at least let me look at your arm?" it said in almost a scolding manner. "I've got medigel."

"Let Cerberus have this one score." Elaine indulged herself one faint sadistic smile as she imagined the 'scores' she'd given Cerberus in turn. Not for the first time, she wished for just a little longer in that base to be sure she'd carved up every last one of the evil assholes. "I will not let them have the opportunity to do it again."

"Can I at least get us to the Relay?" asked the spectre. "I could get you to Shepard, get us out of this system at least!"

"So you're aware of the danger," Elaine's eyes flickered down to the pistol she had not released yet, turning it this way and that as her eyes inspected it with a dull gleam. "Cerberus will be after me soon enough. Perhaps then, this vision will leave me be."

"Do you not even care that Cerberus could be sending a cruiser, or several frigates after us? We have to get out of here. They'll take you back!"

"Now that's where you're wrong, spirit." Elaine's icy eyes snapped to the hooded ghost, her earlier ferocity coming back. "I have no intention of letting them take me again."

The ghost seemed to pick up on the Warden's ominous tone, and shivered. "What are you going to do?"

"Tis simple. Either I will be rescued by friends or found by enemies. If it is the latter, then I will honour my vow to never go back to that Hell. Which is why I'm keeping one bullet in reserve," she held up the pistol and tapped the muzzle against her temple. "Just in case."

* * *

The pull of the cigarette allowed for temporary relief, for that small rush that still reminded him of his human veins. The smoke billowed around his face as he exhaled. Through it, his cybernetic eyes allowed him to see clearly the screen in front of him. His fingers tapped against the arm of his chair, the only give-away to his mounting anger.

Behind him, he heard the almost soundless footsteps of Kei Leng. The man remained just out of his peripheral, staying at his shoulder, at a respectful distance. There was a muffled _'THUMP'_ as something hit the floor. He glanced at it momentarily to confirm it was what he wanted. Leng never took long on a job, and it was very rare that he failed. Perhaps it was good fortune that he'd been successful this time, as the small victory allowed for some redirection of his frustration.

The Illusive Man took another pull of his cigarette before he addressed the assassin. "You are aware of the situation on your little assignment?"

At least Leng had the decency to appear a little shamed, as he quietly spoke. "Yes, Sir."

"How could you allow for such a security breach? How was she able to get the upper hand to escape? I thought I made it clear I wanted her sedated for the entire time she wasn't being used."

"Sir, I thought it would better suit our purposes if she were allowed to–"

"Damn you!" The Illusive Man snarled, turning his chair on the spot to glare straight in Leng's eyes. It took him a long moment, and another drag on the cigarette, to cool off enough that his voice was at least of not a great volume. "I know how your mind works, Leng. I've known since the beginning. In the past, it has neither hindered me or my operations to allow you to indulge in your superiority complex. But this time, you allowed your fantasies to override your pragmatism."

"Sir," Leng pleaded, "I already have my ship prepped and ready to join those in the recapture-efforts. Let me apprehend her again, and I promise I will not make the same mistake twice."

The Illusive Man eased back in his chair. "See to it that you don't. Dr Lawson has requested more genetic material. We require more data from Miss Cousland if we are to be successful with our super-soldier program. Now, go out there and bring her back."

Leng bowed his head, and then hurriedly left the room.

* * *

The Normandy raced into the system and was almost immediately slammed into by Cerberus vessels. The two ships attempted to pin the Normandy in, tried to hit them with multiple blasts of various weapons. Shepard was sure Joker had to put the Normandy through her paces in order to get them out of such a tight spot in one piece. Thankfully, the Normandy still retained her upgrades from when Shepard had ordered them in during the Suicide Mission. Though Garrus did grumble that the main gun wasn't firing at " _perfect"_ capacity because he hadn't had much of a chance to calibrate it properly.

"Is that the shuttle?" Joker asked as they zeroed in on the singular vessel stranded in the midst of this heated battle.

"Diagnostics read only two lifeforms on board." EDI responded. "Cerberus has disabled them. My cyber-warfare suite is attempting to keep them off."

But even with all their upgrades and superior technology, Shepard didn't want to risk anything. He ordered Joker to get in and get out as quickly as possible. The pilot did just that, twirling through space in an almost acrobatic way. Even with the inertial dampeners, Shepard still felt some of the twists and turns. And then, once free of the Cerberus pincer-grasp, Joker descended onto the lonely shuttle floating amongst the stars. He opened the cargo-bay door and swallowed it whole. The shuttle crashed to a landing in the cargo-hold, which Shepard had ordered to be vacated for this very reason. The Cargo door hadn't even fully sealed before Joker was racing back to the Relay, whilst attempting to avoid enemy fire as much as possible.

Only once they were safely away, did Shepard dare to step into the cargo hold, James and Garrus right behind him. All three were suited up and had weapons at the ready. They had no idea what they would find. It was best to be prepared for any possible attack. The trio crept up to the shuttle doors and waited until they were all in place. Shepard tried not to notice how Garrus seemed a little anxious, impatient, to get inside. He nodded to James, who used his omnitool to unlock the door.

Shepard rushed in on point, pointing the muzzle of his gun into the low-lit interior of the shuttle. Shadows abounded, so thick not even he could hardly see through them. a crunch underfoot. Glass, Shepard realised. He looked up and saw that someone had smashed all the lights out of the shuttle interior so as to purposefully make it difficult to see. Ominous indeed, the Commander thought as he stepped in further slowly. Garrus was right behind him, and James brought up the rear. From the light that streamed in through the doors behind them, it cast illumination of a silhouette – a figure sat in the pilot's seat. Warily, Shepard stepped forward, as the person in the chair had said nothing and not moved.

It seemed that Garrus' impatience could wait no longer. He strode forward towards the chair, and reached for the figure in it, at the exact same time as Shepard flicked on the light on his rifle. A hooded figure sat in the pilot's seat, face covered from view but the gleam of her eyes wide and pleading. Shepard startled, before he realised it was Kasumi! Her hands were tied to the pilot's seat with wires pulled out from the dash, her mouth had been gagged with what looked like a strip of cloth from a hospital gown.

Garrus immediately reached forward to pull the gag out of the thief's mouth. Before any of them could ask questions, Kasumi shouted: "Shep! Look–"

"Ah, _Mierda…"_ gasped James behind them.

Garrus and Shepard spun, rifles raised ready to fire – and froze.

Vega stood, head craned back, arms outstretched slightly in surrender. Behind him, was none other than Elaine Cousland. Shepard could tell almost immediately by her eyes, icy-blue and fierce… but nothing else. The woman seemed to be half of what he remembered. Underweight, her skin almost translucent from being so pale, her skin marked with old and new scars. Her golden hair was a matted mess, dirt and blood streaked up and down the entire length of her. She wore only a hospital gown, ripped and torn to the point of barely clinging to her body. The woman had a wounded arm wrapped around Vega's throat, her wrist-bone pressed tightly against his windpipe. In the other, she held a pistol pressed against the soldier's temple.

Behind him, Shepard heard Garrus suck in a breath. "Elaine–" the turian made to move towards her, but the Commander's hand shot out to clamp on his friend's chest and keep him back.

"Stay back!" the woman snarled, eyes darting around. "Not one more step!"

Her gaze was slightly unfocused, as if she were seeing through them. There was an ever so slight tremble in the hand that was choking Vega's neck. She was delirious, obviously not in her right mind. Shepard slowly decided to lower his rifle, arm stretching out in a signal he hoped she would interpret as a sign for calm.

"Elaine," he said carefully, "it's alright. You can put the gun down."

The Warden leaned over Vega's shoulder and spat onto the floor in front of Shepard's boots. "More Cerberus scum. Wearing the faces of my friends. It will not work. Your fate shall be like all the others unless you let me walk free."

"She doesn't think any of us are real," Kasumi whispered from the pilot's seat. "I've been trying to get through to her, but they really messed her up, Shep. She's mentioned all sorts of experiments."

"Oh Elaine…" Garrus whispered sadly.

"You need to believe us, Elaine," pressed Shepard. "It's me, it's James Shepard. You're on the Normandy–"

"A fantasy." She hissed, but the Commander took note of the wobble in her voice and the way her eyes started to glisten forlornly. "Nothing is ever that easy. All there is, is struggle and pain and death."

"This isn't working, Shepard," Garrus whispered to him. "Let me talk to her."

"No. Her focus is on me. Reminding her you're here might tip her over the edge."

"Eh, _Loco?"_ Vega squeaked. "Can ya hurry it up please? It's getting just a little uncomfort–"

His Grey Warden captor slammed her pistol into the side of his head. Not hard enough to knock him out, but hard enough that Shepard had to wince at the bruise he knew was coming. "Silence!"

"You can't shoot him, Elaine," Shepard said, daring to edge an inch closer.

But of course, she noticed. "I said don't move!"

"He's done nothing to you. An innocent. The Elaine Cousland I knew never hurt innocents."

"I can't do that anymore!" she screamed at them. "Keeping innocents alive kept me in that _Hell._ I was thwarted by myself. Not again. I won't make the same mistake. If you don't let me go, he dies!"

"Elaine don't!" Shepard shouted. "You have to listen, we're not Cerberus!"

"Prove it!"

"Ask me something only the real Shepard would know."

She scowled at him from across the length of the dark shuttle. But at least she'd stopped her hysterics and seemed to at least be thinking. Finally, she said: "When was the only time I've seen Commander Shepard cry?"

Shepard's back went rigid. He suddenly felt all the eyes of everyone in the shuttle on him. he fought the instinctive urge to snap at her to not talk about such things in front of people. Damn it, he was Commander- _fucking_ -Shepard, and he did not show weakness. But he had to reach her, and on some level, he had to admire her balls to go right for the jugular. No Cerberus lackey would know this one. "Up in my cabin. I was freaking out because I was dealing with pent up PTSD-shit over how I'd died. I nearly shot you. I nearly fell apart. But you told me, you said: _'You're not alone, Shepard. You're never alone. We've both lost many people. But we can still have those we've got left. So fight for that. Keep fighting with me.'"_

The longer he talked, her face went slack, her eyes grew wide. The pistol in her hand slid down Vega's face as her arm slumped. She gaped at him as a single tear slid down her cheek. "Sh-Shepard?"

All at once, she released Vega, and the big beefcake fell to the floor in a gasping heap. Everyone in the shuttle let loose a huge sigh of relief. The woman took a shaky step forward, the tremble in her entire body suddenly getting worse. Her eyes flickered, coming alive once more as recognition finally began to dawn on her. When her gaze came onto Garrus, she froze once again.

"Hey, tough-girl," Garrus said softly, slowly stepped forward. With the same caution as approaching a wild animal, he raised his hand toward her. "Miss me?"

More tears spilled down her cheeks as she stared from his face to his hand and then back. Her bottom lip trembled. And then she violently shook her head, pulling back. "No! This isn't real. You're–"

"Yeah it is," the turian whispered to her. He reached out further. "Take my hand, Elaine. Touch me, and you'll see. It's safe. _You're_ safe. No one's gonna get you. Just take my hand…"

Her breathing became short rapid gasps. She stared at his three fingered hand. At snail's speed, as if she feared that going any faster would make vanish, Elaine reached back out towards him. Delicately, she put her hand in his. Garrus immediately curled his talons around her tiny pale hand and guided her closer into his arms. And suddenly, she was weeping, sobbing loudly, uncontrollably. She launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his bulky armour, burying her face in the crook of his neck, dangling as he wrapped himself around her. Shepard tried to avoid his gaze, feeling that this was a private moment between them. he pretended to not hear the ever-so-quiet keening noise Garrus made as he buried his face in her hair, clinging to her just as fiercely as did to him.

And then, abruptly, the noise stopped. Everyone looked in alarm back to the couple. Only to find that Elaine had gone limp, collapsed in Garrus' in arms. The turian expertly manoeuvred her so that he could scoop her up, holding her bridal style – one arm under her knees, the other cradling her back. He nodded to Shepard – she was breathing still.

Shepard and all the others took a moment to be relieved finally that Elaine was alive, she was home. But at the same time, they grieved for her, for what mysterious offences had happened to her. Finally, Shepard stepped aside and waved Garrus towards the shuttle doors. "Get her up to Chakwas. Let's get her fixed up."

The turian nodded and then was bounding out through the shuttle and running for the elevator, seemingly unhindered by the tiny woman he held in his grasp.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Sorry this chapter is so short - I promise they will get longer. I just couldn't find a better place to leave this. And I also apologise for any and all mistakes. I've been feeling ill all weekend and I'm now exhausted. In any case, I hope you enjoyed the chapter regardless :)**

 **Quickie translation:** Mierda **means 'shit' in Spanish. I'm hoping to have Vega speak a lot more Spanish here and there, than he did in ME3.**

 **Please don't forget to review! The response to the first two chapters have been sooooooooooo wonderful! Thank you all. Please keep it up for me! :D**


	4. The Medbay

**A/N: Should've mentioned this before, but the song choice for the first part of this story is "Hymn For The Missing" by RED. I'll be posting more of these little songs so that you can all have a general feel for the mood I'm trying to set :)**

* * *

Garrus refused to leave Elaine's side right up until Dr Chakwas forced him out so that she might perform some intimate examinations and treatments. Even then, the thought of leaving her alone made his stomach churn and his heart twist. It felt like he was walking through a dream. He'd managed to find her; after being left to agonise over losing her, he'd just as quickly found her. Perhaps it felt surreal because the 'reunion' had happened not quite how he'd imagined it. He'd pictured opening the shuttle and finding Elaine in there, scowling at him and demanding to know what took him so long. It was a fantasy, he knew, for of course he couldn't have back the same Elaine, the one who smiled and joined in with his jokes. No, Cerberus had done terrible things to her, and he hadn't come quick enough to help her escape.

A part of his brain told him it was pointless to blame himself. He hadn't been aware she was missing, he hadn't known she was in trouble, he was half a galaxy away. But it didn't make the guilt any easier to bear. And now, she was stuck in a Medbay, still out of his reach. It took all his self-control to not tear down the walls and go to her side. Deep breath in, long breath out. Attempting to think logically, he tried to rationalise his next step. Thinking in terms of what was practical helped to ease the storm inside his mind.

He decided that he needed to change out of armour. One thing was for certain, he wasn't leaving Elaine's side until he was sure she was going to be okay. And sitting in a chair at her bedside in bulky armour would grow uncomfortable after a time. So, civvies it was. He took a stop at the Mess-hall on his way back to order a stiff drink – he'd probably need it for whatever was to come.

Shepard met him outside the Medbay, in his own civvies. The pair nodded to each other. No words needed to be said – and Garrus didn't think he had the right ones anyway. They both waited in impatient silence for what felt like hours, until the doors finally opened and Chakwas beckoned them both in. Garrus immediately went over to the bed where the pale woman slept soundlessly. Elaine appeared at least washed, though her hair still seemed like a tangled mess. Tubes for air poked into her nose, IV's and other contraptions were linked up to her wrists and across her chest. Now that she was clean, Garrus could clearly see all the scratches and blemishes that adorned her skin. Some were obvious needle marks, others looked hastily cauterised sashes, and then there was bruising around her left eye-socket and cheek from where she'd been hit in the face. Each one made him want to reach for a gun, so he could scratch Cerberus' symbol in the side of the bullets. Whether it be today, or tomorrow, or at some point, he would pay them back for this, the Archangel side of him whispered.

"I've done everything I can for her, Shepard," Dr Chakwas was saying as she came towards the Commander – Garrus hadn't even noticed he was standing right beside him.

"What was the damage, Dr?" Shepard asked.

Chakwas glanced at Garrus, uncertain on whether she should speak such things in front of him. Garrus himself didn't know if he wanted to hear this, but he had to. Not knowing would eat him alive. He let Chakwas know the same thing as he levelled his stare on her. "It was rather… excessive. You see the multiple scars adorning her? From what I can gather, that's Cerberus' rushed work to take pieces of her."

"Pieces?" Garrus felt like he was gonna be sick.

"There's evidence of past surgeries, some a little invasive. My scans showed that they'd tried to take slices of her insides, like cuttings from a plant. It was nothing that would compromise her health, no piece was taken that was too large that the body would know it. At least, not at first. Just shavings of the liver, maybe samples of both kidneys, muscle tissue, I even found evidence of them attempting to take bone marrow."

"Why would they want that?" Shepard asked.

Chakwas sighed sadly. "You're guess is as good as mine, Shepard. Experimentation? Research? Elaine's unique physiology has never before been known to the world of science. Her tie to the taint we found in the Collectors is fascinating and mysterious. And considering your report of Cerberus attempting to infect their own troops with said corruption…"

"They're trying to make their own Grey Wardens…"

"And failing," the Dr huffed disdainfully. "I looked over EDI's analysis of the Cerberus troops you killed on Mars. It appears like a close variation of Elaine's, but not exactly the same. Some component isn't working correctly. These men are more likely simply tainted, not true Wardens."

"So, what happens for Elaine now?" Garrus cut in.

As if just remembering he was there, Shepard stepped back and allowed Chakwas to approach the bed. She came up to the many machines hooked into Elaine's body, on the opposite side of where Garrus stood. "I've given her a treatment that will stimulate her body to help regrow its lost cells. That, combined with the accelerated healing thanks to her Warden-abilities, will help speed along her recovery. She should be back on her feet in a week."

"When will she wake up?"

Chakwas hesitated. "That's up to her."

Shepard nodded. "Will you be able to psychically evaluate her as well?"

"I'm not a shrink, Shepard. But I will do my best to make sure all the crew of the Normandy are as healthy as horses."

Garrus didn't even let his mind try to decipher that human idiom, his brain was too exhausted to care. He noticed out of the corner of his eye that Shepard came to stand at the foot of the bed and stared down at Elaine. Expression unreadable, unmoving, Garrus couldn't tell if his human friend was disturbed, grieved, or still in shock. He seemed to linger, as if he wanted to say something to the lifeless sleeping woman on the bed, but his lips never moved. Finally, he gave one last nod, and then turned to move away.

"Commander," Garrus reached out and caught hold of his sleeve. "Shepard, with your permission, I'd like to be here with Elaine. I know you want me planet-side, and I swear I'll be fit for duty soon. I just… I _need_ to be here when she wakes up."

Shepard stared from him, to Elaine, and back. "It's alright, Garrus," he said in soft voice. "I understand."

Letting him go, the turian watched his Commander leave. Only the silence was left with him, broken only by the typing of Chakwas at her desk, and the beep of the machines linked up to the woman he'd loved. With a lonely sigh, Garrus pulled up a chair and parked it right by Elaine's bedside. He then sat at it and began his vigil.

* * *

Three days after Elaine's rescue, Shepard received word from Admiral Hackett of a Prothean find on Eden Prime that could potentially be of use in the war. He'd taken Liara and Vega with him to Eden Prime, as Cerberus had taken over the dig-site. Whilst a part of Garrus wanted nothing more than to go with Shepard to kill Cerberus scum in a vengeful spree, he also knew he was needed on the ship. Primarch Victus wanted continuing reports and counter-strategies to help the fleets better defend against Reaper attacks. Also, Elaine had still not woken up yet.

At least today, he wasn't alone in his post at her bedside. On the opposite side of the bed, sat Kasumi. Shepard had offered her all the hospitality of his ship for however long she wished to stay. She'd already made it clear that she wouldn't be staying on as part of the crew again and would be disembarking at the next big port. The small human woman gazed quietly into her coffee cup as Garrus studied her. Though he couldn't see her face, Garrus got the impression that she was tired, exhausted even, down to her bones. Six months ago, Kasumi had been a personality that was mischievous, carefree and spirited; but now it felt as if she was diminished, sad.

The turian decided to end his ruminations with a shar shake of his head and a cough. "Err, um, Kasumi. I… I guess I never did say thank you. You know, for helping to get Elaine back."

The woman startled as if his voice had snuck up on her. For a moment he witnessed heart-stopping panic in her eyes. And then it melted away just as quickly into a smile. "Come on, Garrus, I wasn't going to keep the princess away from her prince – the story has to have a satisfying ending."

He smiled and shook his head at her odd humour. And then his eyes drifted down to Elaine, still sleeping soundly in her bed, her body still battered and bruised. Perhaps the story wouldn't end so happily, he thought as he recalled her misery and hysteria back on the shuttle. "Kasumi…" he found himself saying quietly, hesitantly. "How did you find her?"

The woman drew away from the bed, closing herself off as she wrapped her arms around herself, hands rubbing her biceps. "Like you, I tried to make contact with Elaine when I thought she was incarcerated on Earth. When there was no word, I got suspicious. I investigated and discovered she wasn't with the Alliance – she never had been. The only thing I could dig up was that Cerberus had her. I tried to get information, but Liara and her network were too busy trying to dig up leads that would later be this _Prothean device_. So, I went out on my own. I infiltrated several suspected Cerberus bases, tried to gleam whatever intel I could. Eventually, it led me to the supply shipment to a little station out in the middle of nowhere. I had a whole plan ready to go – I just didn't count on Elaine herself beating me to the punch."

She smiled down at the sleeping woman, and gently clasped hold of her unmoving pale hand.

Garrus' gaze fixated on their joined hands, and then slowly travelled up to a little scar half way up Elaine's wrist. "Do… do you know what they did to her?"

"I can't tell you anything you can't already guess at."

"But do you _know?_ "

Kasumi finally met his eyes and sighed. "I saw what she did to them. The brutality. The unnecessary gore. The hate. She wouldn't have done that unless they did something truly awful to her."

He closed his eyes, trying to banish the unpleasant mental images his brain tried to conjure up. A warm touch brushed his hand on the bed, and his eyes snapped open. Kasumi was leaning across Elaine, her fingers entwined with his. The warmth of her small smile enough to let him know her reassurances.

A groan came from the bed. The pair split apart to hurriedly stand over the prone woman. Kasumi's hand was reached out ready to press the button that would call for Dr Chakwas. Elaine's brows twitched, her eyelids scrunched up. It was the most she'd moved since she'd fallen unconscious. Another groan escaped her lips. Garrus found himself holding his breath as he waited. With agonising slowness, the eyelids fluttered and shifted back to reveal to him those icy-blue eyes he was so familiar with.

Elaine stared up at the ceiling, at first unseeing, as she blinked to adjust her vision to the light. Eventually, those eyes shifted left and right as she took in both Kasumi and Garrus leaning over her. Spirits, Garrus thought, those eyes – such a striking colour – still had the ability to make him catch his breath. Elaine stared up silently, her eyes fixed on him the longest. Garrus fidgeted on the spot. Should he say something first?

A shaky breath left her lungs as her eyes closed, a small tear began to flood beneath her long eyelashes. "So, this is another dream, then."

Panicking, Garrus hurriedly tried to fix his mistake, and swept Elaine's hand up into his grasp and squeezed. "No, Elaine." He whispered. "This is real. You're home."

She looked up at him sharply, _really_ looked at him, as if trying to see through him completely. And then, Kasumi fished something out of her pocket and held it up. "Elaine, look! We got your coin? Trust us, sweetie, you're awake."

Elaine tried to reach her hand up, to take the coin back, a desperation in her expression dedicated to the sight of the strange coin with a drell's face on it. But her hand was too weak to lift, probably from all the drugs still pumping through her system, as well as not having moved or eaten proper food for three days. Seeing her plight, Kasumi placed the coin in Elaine's palm, and pressed her fingers around it.

At the feel of the cold metal against her skin, something inside the Warden snapped. She looked up at Garrus again, and he watched the tears pool into her eyes and stream down her face. "I-I'm back? They're gone?"

He did his best to smile through the lump forming in his throat. "Yeah, Elaine. They're all gone. You're on the Normandy. You're home."

A noise burst from her throat, a choking sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob. And then, suddenly, she was crying, weeping, uncontrollably. Just like she'd done down in the cargo-hold. And just like then, Garrus felt his heart pinch to see her cry. He did the only thing he could think of to do. Still holding onto her hand, squeezing it to let her know he had her, he leant forward and pressed his forehead to hers. And then Elaine was crying all the harder. At first, Garrus thought he'd upset her and considered pulling away, but then he felt an ever-so-subtle push back from her, even as she cried.

He held her for a long time after that, just letting her cry out her tears of relief to be rescued and grief for the nightmare she'd endured. Eventually, her tears ran dry, and when they did, it was as if they'd washed away the last of the fog that had clouded her vision, and she could now see the world clearly again. Chakwas was called in, who did a quick examination – and Garrus took surprised notice how Elaine tensed up at the Dr being anywhere near her – and then operated the bed to help her sit up. Kasumi had quickly left to fetch a hot cup of tea for Elaine, which Elaine insisted on attempting to drink by herself thanks to some light-stims Chakwas had provided.

As she sat there sipping her tea, Elaine tiredly rolled her head in the master-thief's direction. "I owe you an apology, Kasumi. I now realise that you'd come to save me, and in return I treated you like an apparition."

Kasumi attempted to brush it off with a shrug and a smile. "It happens."

"Be that as it may, I cannot think how I could ever repay you. You helped liberate me from Hell. I will try to honour that." Tiredly, the blonde attempted to smile. "With us both aboard the Normandy now, an opportunity will arise, I'm sure."

"No, Elaine…" Kasumi murmured, unable to meet her eyes. "I'm not staying."

Garrus winced; he'd hoped this could've waited until after she'd first woken up. Elaine frowned. "What?"

"Shepard's dropping Kasumi off at the next port." The Turian attempted to placate.

"But… but _why_?" Elaine asked, looking from him to Kasumi, genuinely confused. "Surely you would wish to fight with us again."

Kasumi snorted. "No thanks. I think last time proved I'm no fighter."

"Fighter or not, you should be helping us to take down Cerberus! After everything they've done, you'd let them get away with it?"

At Elaine's rising tone, Kasumi drew further into herself, shooting a glare of her own at the woman in the bed. "I don't _have_ to do anything. I'm a thief. I should stick to that."

Before Garrus could calm the situation, Elaine completely lost it. "What, are you a coward now?!"

"Maybe I am! Maybe it's a little hard for me to sign up for galaxy-wide _war_ when I still can't sleep at night! When I still have nightmares thanks to our little run through the Collector Base." Silence. Both Garrus and Elaine stared at the petite woman beside them. He felt like kicking himself for not seeing any of this earlier. Kasumi's bottom lip wobbled, before she ducked her head to keep her face out of sight. "I'm not… Some people are just not fighters, Elaine. Some people aren't cut out for that. Some people just want to feel safe."

"Kasumi…" Eaine murmured, the earlier anger gone from her, instead she looked stricken as she stared at the friend that refused to meet her eye. "I-I didn't–"

"Hey," Garrus gently took hold of Elaine's hand, directing her gaze back onto him and offering Kasumi a reprieve from the woman's scrutiny. "We're all suffering a little differently. But we're all here now. Doesn't that count for something?"

Elaine looked at her lap in shame. Garrus wished he could say something better, but no words would come to him. At least, none that he thought were appropriate. Was it the time they'd spent apart, or was it the fact that he felt completely out of his depth? Kasumi watched the pair of them for a long moment. Her hand dashed across her face to wipe away the stray tear that Garrus hadn't even noticed. With an uncomfortable cough, she promptly stood from her seat.

"Look, I should… I should probably get going. As soon as Shepard gets back, I'll be getting off. Eden Prime's a big enough port for me."

"You sure?" Garrus asked, "Shepard'll be docking at the Citadel soon enough, if you want to–"

"Thanks, but I'm good. Citadel's too high profile for me anyways."

Elaine's eyes watched the Master Theif's back, torn with indecision. It wasn't until she was almost out the door and nearly gone, that the Warden found her voice. "Kasumi!" The little woman paused and looked over her shoulder. Elaine opened her mouth to say something, but no words would come out. Finally, she settled for: "May the Maker watch over you."

Kasumi gave her old friend one last nod, before heading out the door. Elaine watched her go, a grieved expression on her face. Garrus knew that look all too well, had felt it himself once or twice. She was wondering if she'd ever get to see her friend again, if there would be time to speak the words left unsaid.

"Well…" he huffed loudly to try and break the tension. "That could've gone better."

"It was my fault…" she muttered.

"We're all on edge lately. Don't beat yourself up too much over it."

He squeezed her hand. She stared down at it, as if trying to puzzle out how it got there. Her voice was thick with emotion when she spoke. "I still can't believe this is real… I keep expecting to wake up."

"It's real alright." He smiled. "And don't get too comfortable with me being Mr Smiles. As soon as you're out of that bed, I fully intend to give you a piece of my mind. Didn't I tell you not to go? You and Shepard both need to learn: always listen to Garrus."

"I'm so sorry, Garrus," Elaine whimpered, tears suddenly hinting in the corner of her eyes. "I wish I had listened to you. I wish I'd done more. I wish I–"

Panic exploded in Garrus' chest. He immediately tried to snatch hold of her attention. "Hey, hey, hey! It was a joke, I-I didn't mean to…" he trailed off as her sadness continued. Way to go, Vakarian; he thought, way to put your foot in your mouth. Yet more evidence that he wasn't vastly inadequate when it came to situations like this.

"I wish I'd never gone!" she hissed, eyes screwed shut against her tears. "I wish I'd stayed with you! And now everything's ruined. After everything they did–"

"Nothing is ruined, Elaine. You hear me?" he told her fiercely.

"But… How can you want me after…"

Both elbows leaning on the bed, he took her hand up in his, pressing it to his scarred mandible. He let his talons run down the length of her wrist, his gloved hand feeling every bump and scar. "Let me tell you something, Miss Cousland: none of that matters to me. I got you back, that's all I care about. And in the future, anyone who wants to come after you, is gonna have to go through me first. It's going to take a lot more than Reapers or Cerberus to come between this cross-species liaison."

Her breathing was shaky as she tried to hold back her emotions. Her eyes were guarded, as if she was holding back from him, and he didn't like it. But, she'd been through enough emotional turmoil for one afternoon, he reasoned, and so decided to drop the matter in favour of letting her recuperate. Maybe her own body agreed with him, for as Elaine slouched into her pillow, she tried to stifle a huge yawn.

"You're tired." He said, daring to reach out to run his fingers through her hair. "Go to sleep."

Even as her eyes were lulled closed by the soothing action of his fingers, she tried to fight it. "I don't want to. I can't."

"Yeah, you can. You need it. Don't make me get Dr Chakwas in here with the sedatives."

Again, he'd meant the words as a joke. And again, he put his foot in his mouth. He noticed immediately how she tensed up, how her fists clenched as if ready to lash out. Breathing through it, she stared up at him, with such a sudden intensity he was taken aback for a moment. "Promise me one thing? Be here when I wake up. I couldn't stand it if…"

"I promise."

It took a little more coaxing and several minutes of silent relaxation before she would finally fall asleep. When she did, Garrus copied Chakwas' instructions in order to make the bed move so she could lay flat on it. Once that was done, he dimmed the lights, and tried to make his chair more comfortable for the long period of waiting ahead. He contemplated napping himself, but decided against it. He needed to keep an eye on her. It was a simple truth his gut refused to allow to abate, even as his rational mind attempted a half-assed excuse that she was perfectly safe here. But no, it was still there, an instinct deep inside that demanded he stay and protect her; demanded he make sure he never lost her again.

* * *

 _The sound of Oren's laughter floated all around her as the pair of them ran through the winding castle halls. Elaine's strides were slowed by the skirts threatening to twist about her ankles. Her hands slid along smooth cool stone. The child in front of her let out a shriek of laughter once again as he glanced over his shoulder at her. Shadows periodically swallowed him as the dim corridors held little light. Strange, for even in the dead of winter, the torches should've been lit._

 _Oren turned the corner ahead, and Elaine heard him giggling: "Can't catch me!"_

 _"_ _Oh yes I can!" Elaine called back. Her bare feet slid along the floor as she tried to turn the corner at speed… And then stopped._

 _Oren was no where in sight. Instead, shadows as thick as smoke surrounded and obscured her vision. She tried to wave them aside. And as they abated, a muted light began to glow through the fog. Trudging towards it, Elaine parted the mist in order to reach the warmth it offered in opposition to the cold dankness that attempted to cling to her skin. Shapes formed, and she saw her mother and father sat in great armchairs before the fire in their study. Her mother looked ancient, a large assortment of furs thrown over her lap to keep her warm. At her entrance, her father looked up and smiled. "There you are pup,"_

 _For some reason, Elaine felt the unmistakable urge to cry at hearing him call her that. But why should she? He'd always called her 'pup', it felt strange to feel a sense of mourning over the word. Wordlessly, she came over to her father and wrapped her arms around his shoulders in an embrace._

 _From her seat, her mother gave a little groan. "Bryce, my wounds ail me!"_

 _Elaine felt a jolt of alarm. "Wounds?"_

 _"_ _Yes," her father said gravely. "We summoned you to discuss a serious matter, pup. Your treason."_

 _Elaine sprung away from her father as if he were engulphed in flames. He stood, looming over her as she often thought he did as a little girl. "T-Treason?"_

 _"_ _You ran from us. You turned you back on your family and left us to die."_

 _Elaine stood frozen, trembling with terror and horror. From behind her father emerged a sneering figure – Arl Rendon Howe. Pulling a dagger from his belt, he grinned at her from over her father's shoulder. Elaine opened her mouth to shout, to warn of the danger, but her mouth was gagged, and no sound would come from her. Howe's grin widened as he grabbed hold of her father and plunged the knife under Bryce's ribs. Her father sputtered, blood shooting out of his mouth to spray Elaine's face. Slowly, he grew pale, the blood pouring from his wound, his mouth, his eyes, and he fell to the floor. Behind him, she spotted her mother slumped over in her chair, a dozen arrows sticking out from her chest._

 _"_ _Aunty 'Laine?" said a little voice._

 _Turning slowly, Elaine saw little Oren in the doorway to the study. The child looked lost, as if he'd awoken from a deep sleep, and couldn't find his way in the dark. He stared up at her, his eyes – the Cousland eyes – wide and beginning to glisten. Behind him stood a woman, her hair pale yellow, her eyes the same as the boy's. Elaine felt a jolt to recognise herself stood with a loving smile on her face as she placed a hand on Oren's small shoulder. Then, she held up a silver sword, gleaming red in the firelight. The tip was ever-so-gently placed against the junction between Oren's neck and shoulder. And then, slowly, the other-Elaine pushed the sword deep into the boy's flesh. Oren's mouth fell open in shock and pain, blood squirted out from the wound until both Elaine and her doppelganger were covered in it. Elaine tried to scream, but no sound escaped her. The other-her wouldn't stop driving in the sword, no matter how hard Elaine silently screamed and pleaded, she didn't stop until the point of the sword came out again just above Oren's hip. With a wrench, the sword was pulled free, almost cleaving the child in two._

 _This time, a real scream did erupt from Elaine's mouth as she suddenly broke free of the invisible bindings that had kept her body frozen. She dived to try and catch the little body of the boy she loved like her own child. But before her fingers could touch his pale and cold skin, the inky smoke swept in and consumed them both. Elaine scrambled to her feet, stumbling, as she attempted to find her way in the darkness. There was something warm and sticky beneath her feet, staining her skin and the hem of her skirts. It slipped underneath her, and the woman fell hard to the ground._

 _Once again, she tried to push herself back up, her muscles straining as if from exhaustion. When she craned her head back, a light illuminated the world around her, just barely. Her heart shuddered to a stop as she looked up to realise her old friends were stood before her, all that is, except for Morrigan and Alistair. They looked exactly as they did at the Battle of Denerim. Even, Elaine realised with growing horror, the wounds they'd received in that fight._

 _This nightmare was unending, and she could only think to whisper one final plea: "Help me…"_

 _Oghren spat at the ground. "You want our help? When did ya sodding help us when we needed it?"_

 _Zevren scowled down at her with such hate, she shrank further into the floor. Wynne put a hand on his shoulder, as if to stay his anger, even if her own ancient eyes were clouded with tears. "You abandoned us. You abandoned your world. You abandoned your duty. Now we are all dead while you live on. I thought better of you."_

 _Elaine felt her insides turn to ash, a hollowness eating away at her soul as tears streaked down her face. "I didn't want to! Please, I wanted to come back."_

 _Leliana spoke in a voice so icy it chilled Elaine's bones. "This is all pretend to you. That what happened to us is some story you hope never happened. But I suffered. The whole world suffered. It was real."_

 _And behind them, Elaine saw a vision of her world burning, people screaming, Darkspawn turning everything to rot. Above it all, in skies filled with horrendous magical storms that blocked out the sky, an Archdemon soared in victory, screaming out its dreadfully beautiful music for all the damned and the dying to hear._

 _A cold touch wrapped around Elaine's ankle and tugged. She was dragged backwards along the ground that stung and cut into her skin. She scrabbled to try and gain purchase with her hands, but all it did was turn them bloody. She twisted to see her assailant, and almost vomited in disgust, to see Cerberus doctors dragging her back towards their cutting table. Behind them stood Kei Leng, a smirk on his face. Elaine fought all the harder, screaming and pleading with her friends to save her, even as they grew further and further out of reach._

 _Shale listened to her pleas and crossed its arms stoically. Sten levelled her a stare filled with disappointment and shook his head. "You are_ _ **Kadan**_ _no longer."_

 _An iron grip wrapped around the back of Elaine's neck, she hissed as sharp fingers dug into her skin. Then, the force that held her began to pull her up, higher and higher, until she dangled with her feet a good several inches above the floor. Elaine flailed and struggled, fingers trying to unlock the painful grip on the scruff of her neck, feet kicking to try and find solid ground. Purposefully slowly, she was turned around, until she came face to face with the wrinkled face of Flemeth. The Witch was adorned in her battle-armour, her hair twisted into that strange horn-like way. The Warden attempted to fight, certain that she would meet her doom._

 _But then, Flemeth opened her mouth wide – impossibly wide! And then it yawned wider and wider, until all Elaine could see was down the great gullet of the witch. And there, inside, Elaine's eyes widened with horror, as she saw a young woman, curled up in a ball pressed against the walls of flesh within Flemeth's throat. The woman looked up, and Elaine squeaked as she recognised the face of Morrigan, the warm golden eyes, the beautiful face. Recognising Elaine, Morrigan bolted for her, attempting to climb her way out of her prison of flesh and reach for friend. As she stretched her arm out beyond the confines of Flemeth, however, her flesh turned fell from the bones like dust. Elaine tried to squirm away in fright but could not move with the same iron claws behind her neck._

 _And then, a wheezing voice, Morrigan said: "Let us end this…"_

 _And suddenly, Elaine was falling, tumbling spinning, through empty air. She screamed, pinwheeled her limbs, but it did no good in her free fall. The ground seemed miles away far below. Something slithered along the barren ground, and Elaine shrieked when she recognised the gigantic reptilian form, the massive wings, the stench of corruption pouring from its every fibre. The Archdemon watched her fall, roaring up at her as it awaited her demise. But it was not like the Archdemon she knew from Ferelden. This one had wires and metal manacles attached to its legs, and one eye glowed up at her with a piercing red electrical light._

 _The Archdemon opened its mouth wide to swallow her whole, and Elaine screamed as she fell, unable to fly._

* * *

Elaine awoke, sweating and panting. It took her eyes several moments to adjust to the dim light. Confusion abounded as to where she was. The smell of disinfectant set off alarms in her head that made her instantly think the Doctors had taken her to another cutting room. The fools however had forgotten to strap her down! Her nightmare had set her instincts to fight and flee running high. She could jump up and fight free –

Her hand brushed something hard. Her gaze snapped down, and she stared at the Turian head cushioned in his arms on her bed. The silver plates and blue markings seemed so familiar… Garrus?

Memories slowly trickled back into her mind. Her escape, her rescue, Shepard, Kasumi, Garrus… Finally rooted in the present, Elaine attempted to fortify herself with a steadying breath. It was no use, the adrenaline coursing through her veins made it impossible for her heart to slow. She wet her lips, tried to swallow. No luck.

The words her family and friends had spoken washed back through her mind like the wave of a tide. Over and over they repeated. They told her in no uncertain terms how she had abandoned them, betrayed them, left them to die, and that she hadn't been good enough to save them. Any of them. Attempting to tune out the guilt that hurt her soul, Elaine turned her face away from the Turian sleeping soundly at her bedside. Through her misery, one little flicker of anger began to burn bright. Cerberus did this, she realised. It was them who had taken her away, them who had tortured and humiliated her, and it was thanks to them that her mind and body was now in shambles. No longer, she promised herself, she was back with Shepard now; sooner or later, she would be fit for combat once again. And when that day came, she vowed to slaughter every man and woman who dared to bare the Cerberus crest. But that was for later, she reconciled, now was the time to mourn her lost innocence. She curled up, pulling the thin blanket over her hide in an attempt to hide her tears from view, even if it couldn't hide the shiver of her body as she wept silently.


	5. The Scars

**Author's Note: The story has now shifted to 'M' rating for sexual situations.**

 **Potential 'Trigger Warning' for this chapter for mental health issues. If anyone is suffering from anything mentioned in this chapter, please don't be afraid to talk to someone. Anyone. Whether that be professional or just a friend. It helps.**

* * *

The Normandy sailed on, its crew in a state of purgatory.

Elaine could only stomach two days of bedrest before she refused to be stuck in that hospital bed a moment longer. Each and every second spent in the infirmary reminded her of being in the cutting room, subjected to the tortures of her captors. And whilst she knew that Dr Chakwas would never hurt her, every time the elderly woman came close to her, Elaine froze up, had to restrain herself from fighting back instinctually. No, she had to get out of there, had to begin her journey of healing, of reclaiming herself from Cerberus and Leng had done to her. Once she was whole again, she could then begin her quest of slaying all those still tied to Cerberus.

Shepard had realised that Elaine was not well enough to be forced to be around others too much. Instead of making her bunk in the Crew Quarters, Shepard thought he would grant Elaine her own room, as he had done for all the other members of the ground team in the past. He gave her the whole of the Starboard Observation Lounge, where Samara used to reside, with the promise that he'd have it all fixed up for her with a real bed once they reached the Citadel again. The room allowed Elaine the solace she needed to collect her thoughts, and it helped to keep her constant nightmares a secret for just a little while longer.

Soon after, Shepard was once again off away from the ship, this time to deal with a situation inside a place called Grissom Academy. With him gone, Elaine snuck towards Miranda's old office, where the Asari, Liara had taken up residence. Elaine remembered that she had become the Shadow Broker, and that a whole galaxy of knowledge was at her fingertips. Neither stupid or unobservant, Elaine had noticed the mentions of war by her friends. She wanted to know of everything that had happened in the outside world in her absence. Though Liara seemed a little anxious to let her have such information, the woman coldly refused to be sent away. The Asari had no choice but to relinquish her information.

On the dozens of screens spread over the wall, Elaine began to learn of everything that had happened. The Reapers had come. Not even in her wildest dreams could she have accurately depicted them. She had seen one's corpse, but to watch them walk on planets, as tall as the highest towers, shooting fiery beams and causing levels of destruction and death Elaine had never before witnessed… it was something unearthly. She listened to the reports tell of the death counts on each world, of the futile attempts by the militaries to just slow the slaughter all being for naught. Some even showed her the creatures the Reapers were sending against the people of the Milky Way. Husks, she was familiar with, but Brutes, Marauders and Cannibals… all monstrosities made from the vandalised corpses of fallen soldiers. To watch it all unfold before her, it brought her a quiet despair. She wouldn't show weakness in front of this stranger, and so had to hold back her tears of guilt.

This was her doing, a voice inside whispered. She could've done something, could've somehow made a difference. She had fought apocalypses before and won, who's to say that she couldn't have stopped another? If she hadn't been so weak as to be captured by Cerberus, if she had been strong enough to escape sooner, maybe all this death could've been avoided.

The fires that raged across entire worlds, the screams of the terrified and the dying, the merciless slaughter – it reminded her too much of the Battle of Denerim. Horrible memories began to resurface, one's she would rather prefer buried. Without so much as a word to Liara, Elaine fled the room, desperate to find some privacy on this ship where she could gather her composure in peace.

It was unsettling to walk this ship that she thought she knew, and yet have it all seemed so strange. In the six months she'd been away, the Normandy had been changed, some of the rooms were not the same, other rooms didn't exist at all, and even the lighting was different. Instead of feeling like a warm home, the Normandy now felt cold, clinical. All it did was make Elaine feel further isolated and alone, even when surrounded by people. Though, thankfully, she found there was one thing that had not changed – the cargo bay still had a great range of equipment for exercising the body. More often than not since she'd been allowed out of bed, Elaine found herself down there, fighting, sprinting, pushing her aching and hurting body to try and back into shape. It helped to alleviate her stressed mind, as she sank further into herself, and it also helped to work out the constant anger that burned inside her heart.

But as a result, the others of the crew, the ones she'd once called friends, became at a loss. Elaine had withdrawn from them, seldom leaving her room unless it was to eat or train. Garrus especially didn't seem to know what to do around her anymore. What was the correct way to help her? Comfort for fear of coddling her? Be stern without being insensitive? The confusion only left them in silence, and Elaine felt it just as surely as they did. She missed the easiness with which she could interact with people. But she stayed away for a reason, for she knew they must be able to see the _wrongness_ inside her thanks to what Cerberus had done.

But she was lonely, and she did want her old life back. She wanted to go to Garrus and lay in his arms just like she used to do. But she always refrained, fearful of rejection. For not the first time, she cursed Cerberus, the Illusive Man, all of them, for what they had done to her, what they had robbed from her! And most of all, even as she continued to punch the sandbag until her fragile bones and barely healed muscles were screaming in agony, she cursed Kai Leng. He was the one who had transgressed worst against her. And she swore, on the blood of her forefathers, she would make him pay for what he'd done to her. Even if it was the last thing she did in this life, she was going to _kill Kai Leng!_

* * *

Garrus tiredly looked over his monitor, attempting to reread the line of code for the third time in a row. But no such luck, it just wasn't sinking in. He'd thought that calibrating the main gun would help bring him some focus, distract his mind so that he might be able to find a way through this mess. Sometimes the best ideas came when you weren't even thinking about it. But no, all this did was just frustrate him because he wasn't doing a good enough job. With a dejected sigh, he closed down his work and warily stalked to his bunk, sinking into the thin mattress.

"Garrus?" Called a voice. "Are you alright?"

He looked up and saw Liara stood inside his doorway. He hadn't even noticed the sound of the doors opening. Sitting a little straight, he cleared his throat with a quiet cough. "Uh, yeah, I'm good. Are you alright, Liara?"

The Asari watched him with pity in her eyes. She looked as if she wanted to say something but didn't know the words. For a moment, Garrus missed Tali. He liked Liara, sure, they had been good friends on the SR1. But during the Suicide-Mission on the SR2, Garrus had grown closer to Tali, had relied on her for sound advice, had been able to trust her without exception, even on a ship filled with what would seem to be distrustful people. Both he and Liara had changed a lot since the days of the SR1, and they both knew it wouldn't be so easy to pick up that friendship like it was nothing.

Slowly, Liara approached and sat on the edge of the bunk beside him. "I know this is hard for you, Garrus,"

He snorted. "You have no idea…"

"I might know a little of what you're going through… When Shepard came back, it felt so strange. He was hurting from what had happened to him, lost, and I didn't know what to do. It was almost like I was seeing a new side of him, and it was a stranger to me."

Garrus' shoulder slumped, his face falling as the words rang true. "I want to do something, Liara, _anything_. But whenever I try to talk, it never comes out right. She won't talk to me – or anyone really. I was so happy to have her back, but now I still feel as lost as before. I don't know what to do because she won't tell me what she needs."

"From what I understand," Liara tried to say gently, "Elaine suffered alone on that Cerberus station. She had to rely on no one but herself. She escaped through her own force of will. That long with that mind-frame… it will take time before she will begin to leave it behind her."

"After what those bastards did to her," he growled. "You think it's possible she's suffering some sort of PTSD?"

"That would be a fair assumption to make, yes."

"Then, what do I do to help?"

"Give her time, be there for her,"

His disappointed at the obvious answer made his comeback drip with sarcasm. "Wow, that vague answer was _massively_ helpful."

"Garrus, I can only–"

The doors suddenly opened, and the two aliens stood quickly from the bed. To Garrus' astonishment, in walked none other than Elaine Cousland herself. Since getting out of bed, she'd managed to wash herself and comb her hair so that it now hung silky smooth once more down to the small of her back. Dressed in Alliance uniform of T-shirt and pants until she could acquire her own civvies again, she now looked more like herself again. All that is, except for the shadows that clung stubbornly beneath her eyes. The Warden looked from Garrus to Liara, confused.

Liara seemed to take the que, and hurriedly made for the door, mumbling a quick goodbye over her shoulder: "I probably have reports to deal with. I'll catch up with you later, Garrus."

And then he was left alone with the human woman. Once, he would've wanted nothing more, but for some reason the crushing weight of expectation, that he should _do_ something made him feel like he was choking.

"You okay?" was what he ended up saying. He could've kicked himself. It was lame and completely inadequate.

Elaine rubbed the back of her hand. "Yes – well, I mean, as I can be."

"Fair enough," he nodded.

"I…" she began. "I know we've been avoiding each other, but–"

"Spirits, Elaine, I'm so sorry!" He hurriedly tried to say, overcome with panic that she assumed the worst. Damn it, he knew he should've done something before now! "Please, don't think it's you. It's not. I just… I was being an ass. I didn't know what you wanted, what you needed."

"You _weren't_ avoiding me?"

"No, never! I just didn't know if you wanted your own space or not…"

"It was probably for the best," she murmured. "I'm trying to get myself back in shape. I want to be help with the mission. I need to help fight these Reapers."

"So soon?" he asked. "Elaine, it's not even been a week yet–"

"I _need_ this, Garrus."

He nodded, more to placate her than agree with her. She had that look in her eye that decreed she wasn't being moved on this subject. Perhaps Shepard could speak to her, he thought to himself, talk some sense into her, get her to rest a little longer.

Elaine was the first to break the silence, motioning to the terminal and his work. "I see you're back to work. Like you didn't miss a beat."

"After what I've been through lately, calibrating a giant gun is a vacation," he shrugged, "Gives me something to focus on."

"I heard about Palaven," she whispered, looking guiltily to the floor. "I'm so sorry, Garrus. I wish I could've done something…"

"There's nothing I think anybody could've done, not against Reapers."

"Still, something would've been better than nothing."

With a deep breath, he marched in front of her. Gently touching one finger to her chin, he tilted her face upward so that he could look into her eyes again. "Hey. None of this is your fault. Do you hear me? None of it."

She closed her eyes and sighed, her shoulder sagging just a little. When she opened them again, there was tiny curve at the edges of her lips. "You know, I missed you. Most of the time I had to try and not think about you – it hurt too much."

"I'm gonna ignore the bad connotations with that and just take it to mean you still wanna be my girlfriend?"

"You make that sound as if there was any doubt."

"Wasn't sure on the protocol on reunions… or if you even still felt the same way about me."

She frowned. "I thought I made it clear in the Medbay."

"Had to be sure you weren't just tripping on drugs and seeing my glorious face," he shrugged with a smirk. "The scars are starting to fade, I remember they drove you wild. But I can go out and get all new ones if it'll help."

Suddenly, she leaned up on her toes, grabbed hold of his shoulders and pulled him down to press her lips onto his. Garrus was taken aback at her sudden passion but didn't complain. He was flooded with the taste of her, and all the longing he'd felt over the past six months came crashing into him. He kissed her back with equal fervour, entwining his tongue with hers when she eagerly begged for access. She only pulled away momentarily for breath to whisper: " _That's_ the protocol on reunions."

He was so dazed he could only stupidly mumble out the first thing that came to mind. "Glad to see my romantic –ahem– _skills_ made an impression."

She leaned back up to kiss him again, and this time Garrus was ready to meet her. Oh, how he'd missed this, how he'd missed _her_. His arms encircled around her back to pull her close, to minimise any distance he could. Always, there was a caution, a gentleness in his movements as he tried to keep in mind that she was probably still recovering from her ordeal. But when she expertly reached up to massage beneath his fringe, he couldn't stop himself from moaning into her mouth. She knew exactly how to get his fires roaring. His fingers pushed up the edge of her t-shirt so that he could feel her waist. He could smell her, taste her, he needed to feel her now as well.

A hard shove against his chest sent him back a step, and Garrus nearly tripped over his own feet in surprise. Elaine followed him, chasing his kiss even as she pushed him back again. The back of his legs hit the edge of his cot, and he instinctively sat down on it so as not to fall. Elaine was panting, reaching down as she tried to find the buckles for his armour. Garrus, his mind hazy with lust and trying to catch-up with her, fumbled to help her. Soon they both had him stripped to of his chest-piece and gauntlets. Climbing onto him so that she sat straddled across his lap, Elaine looped her arms around his neck and kissed him, one hand reaching down to unzip his under-suit so that she could feel the plates of his chest. Garrus purred for her, leaving her mouth so that he could kiss and lick his way down her throat. The woman began to grind her hips against him, her breath hitching slightly. His purr turned into a growl when her legs tightened on either side of his waist.

Leaning back slightly, Elaine hurriedly reached down and pulled off her t-shirt. For a fraction of a second, Garrus caught a glimpse of her torso. It was mottled with scars criss-crossing all along her abdomen, up her ribs, over her collarbone and shoulders. But before he could take a moment to pity her, to caress her and tell her how beautiful she still was to him, she was wrenching his head back to hers to crash their lips together. Her grinding hips grew harder, her nails digging into his shoulders. Grabbing hold of his hand, she placed it on her buttocks and encouraged him to squeeze her, hard. The primal part of Garrus' nature responded to her challenge with eagerness. His growl took on a louder pitch, and he grabbed hold of her as she directed. His other hand reached up to slip beneath her bra, and cupped her breast, giving it a firm squeeze. She gasped and arched into him.

Abruptly, she paused, and he caught her staring at the scars on the side of his face he was now displaying to the world. For a fraction of a moment, he felt self-conscious, but then she whispered: "Beautiful…"

"Looks like I don't need new ones," he grinned.

The look she gave him was nearly feral. "Not at all."

Pressing her hands into his shoulders, she thrust him down so that he fell onto the bed. Before he could realise he was now laying down, he felt hands at his belt-buckles and realised she was trying to finish the job of getting him naked. He was about to join her, when his caught sight of the three-fingered hand-prints on her skin – _his_ hand-prints. Chakwas had said that her treatments might make her bruise easily.

"Elaine," he asked, "are you hurt or–"

"No." came her grunt of a reply as she pulled off his boots and greaves and hurriedly climbed back over him. "I just need this."

"But, Elaine, you're–"

"Garrus!" she half barked, half pleaded. "I _need_ this. I _need you."_

She reached for his hand and pushed it down the lip of her pants so that he could feel her panties beneath, how hot and wet she was. A part of Garrus' brain wanted to war with him over this, that something wasn't quite right. But as she leaned back down to kiss him, then to trail kisses down his exposed throat and chest, the fire she awoke in him burned it away. His fingers stroked her outside her panties, coaxing moans from her which only grew louder as he reached up with his other hand encircle her breast again.

Tongue darting out, she traced it up his chest in a feather-light touch. Garrus' eyes went wide, and he gulped. This woman was surely his undoing. Keeping eye contact with him, Elaine peeled back her lips to reveal her teeth, and bit his shoulder. Surging his hips upwards, Garrus unseated her, caught her around the middle and flipped them so that she was laid beneath him, legs spread wide around him.

"Yes!" she gasped and thrust her hips up to meet him. Garrus kissed and nibbled at the juncture between her neck and shoulder, his hand reaching down to pull off her pants.

He didn't pull them down the whole way, just enough so that he could easily reach the treasure she kept hidden between her legs and plunder it with his fingers. Elaine arched when he touched her clit, just as she had shown him how she liked it. When he could feel her growing wetter by the moment, he slowly slipped a finger inside. Her hips surged into his touch. The Turian grinned down at her. He wanted to drag this out slowly, let her bask in how he could make her come with gentleness.

But then, she was growling at him: "Harder!"

He paused for a moment, unsure of what to do: continue his plan or do as she asked? But then she robbed him of the choice when she reached between them and grasped hold of his hand, pinned in in place and began to work herself on his finger. Garrus balked at such an erotic image, of the woman he loved driving herself crazy over the touch of just his hand.

"Garrus, I need it _harder!_ "

Though about to oblige her, Garrus paused. He noticed her face, although thrown back with ecstasy, her expression was pinched, strained, as if from pain. Her stomach kept sucking in and clenching, her breathing was laboured, her body was sweating.

Instantly he went cold, and hastily pulled himself away from her. "Elaine, no."

She looked up at him incredulously. "What do you mean–?!"

He gently gathered her into his arms and pulled her up to sit. "Elaine, you're in pain. You need to rest."

"I know what I _need_. And I _need_ this!" she snapped back. "I need to reclaim my body from–"

When she cut herself off and looked away, as if guilty of having said too much, Garrus' eyes narrowed. "Elaine… are you… did something happen? On that station, did they…?"

Spirits, he didn't want to say the words, they made him physically ill to even think them. He'd dealt with enough cases of rapists back in his days at C-SEC. Scum, the lot of them, ones he wished received harsher sentences than they got. To think that Elaine might've gone through that… it made his blood boil to near breaking point.

"No, Garrus," Elaine whispered dejectedly, keeping her eyes away from him, wrapping her arms around her chest, as if to hide herself from view. "I was not violated. At least, not in that way."

"Not in that way?"

"There was one," a tear sparkled in her eye. She harshly slapped it away from her face. "The man in charge of keeping me. Kai Leng. He used to find it fun to dominate me. Would call me _Flower_. Would sometimes insinuate…"

He didn't need to hear anymore. Settling in behind her, he wrapped his arms around her stiff body and pulled her close to his chest. He nuzzled the back of her head, feeling her soft hair tangle around his mandibles. Her scent was slightly off, he realised; usually the scent of lilies. Now it more resembled disinfectant, a strong stench that stung his nose. Usually in Turians, when the scent changed drastically like this, it meant they were wounded, either physically, or sometimes emotionally.

"I swear, Elaine," he growled softly in her ear. "I'll find the bastard. I'll find him, I'll cut his balls off, and put a bullet in his brain. And then I'll find the Illusive Man and carve your name into his skull for letting this be done to you."

Eventually, he felt her rigid muscles loosen. Her fingers brushed against his tentatively. "Just make sure I get to kill Leng. I want to slice his throat open myself."

"I'll even hand you the knife."

She twisted to look into his eyes, hers glistening in the dim light of the battery. Tilting her head, she managed to reach enough to kiss him. He indulged with gentleness. But when she tried to turn to face him again, to reach for his erogenous zones, to pick up where they'd left off, he gently caught hold of her wrists. "Elaine, not like this."

Blinking, the human pulled back and glanced down at her half-naked body. Garrus followed her gaze to the collection of scars that covered her body. Pulling away from him entirely, she hurriedly picked up her t-shirt and yanked it back on over her head.

"I see." Was all she said in curt reply. Jumping up from the bed before he could stop her and marching out the battery door.

* * *

Later, a couple hours after Elaine had had time to cry and get over her humiliation, she made her way to Medbay. It made her skin crawl to walk back into that room, to smell the bleach, to see the equipment, to hear the machines. Over and over, her mind had to repeat that she was safe, that this was not the cutting-room. Dr Chakwas' inquisitive smile helped a little.

"Elaine?" Chakwas spoke in that soft, motherly tone. "What can I do you for? Are you in pain? Is something the matter with your treatment?"

"No, Doctor, thank you," Elaine said, hands bunching at her sides as she tried to settle her nerves. "I came to ask about a different treatment."

Chakwas raised a brow. "Oh?"

"When I first met Shepard, he had scars along one cheek. But only recently, I've noticed they are now completely gone. Not even a faded sign of one. How is this possible?"

"It's quite simple really," Chakwas said, folding her hands in her lap like a lady at Denerim court. "Shepard's cybernetic-scars appeared to be linked to his state of mind. The more positively and healthy his mind-set, the faster they healed. Of course, the Alliance also offered him a procedure to help heal the last of the scars whilst he was incarcerated."

"Is there a chance I could have that to?" Elaine's voice was tight where tried to hold in her desperation.

Now the Doctor appeared concerned. "Elaine, are you certain of this?"

"Surely you noticed the patch-work job Cerberus did on me," the Warden spat bitterly. "I don't want anymore reminders of what they did. I don't want any proof of it left. I don't want to be disgusted by this! I want it all erased."

"Nothing will ease this trauma in your mind, Elaine. Not until you're willing to talk to someone."

"This _will_ help me. Can you do it or not?"

Chakwas stared hard at Elaine for what seemed like forever. Then, with a sigh, she turned back to her desk. "I cannot deny you this treatment if you honestly believe it would be in your best interests."

"It is."

Beneath her desk, Chakwas tapped at her Omnitool where Elaine couldn't see, unknowing of the Doctor sending out a quick message out of worry for her patient. When she turned back to the woman, there was only a kind smile, and she gestured to one of the beds. "Please make yourself comfortable."

It took only three minutes exactly, before the doors of the Medbay burst open and in came Garrus. "Elaine! What's going on?"

The Warden didn't even need to look at Chakwas to know what had transpired between them. "Chakwas is going to remove my scars. I want them gone. Cerberus will leave no claim on me."

"Surgery?" he echoed. "Elaine, please, you don't need to do this – at least not yet. You're still healing."

"I am well enough."

"Is this because I wouldn't have sex?" he pressed. "It had nothing to do with your scars, Elaine, you gotta believe me on that. It makes no difference to me."

She refused to look at him. "It does to me."

"Doc, please tell her–"

"Physically speaking," Chakwas said, "the procedure won't make much difference. I only contacted you because I was concerned for her rational thinking."

"I have perfect clarity on this decision." Elaine retorted. "Do it."

Garrus could only stare, feeling as if instead of gaining more ground with Elaine, he'd lost another thousand miles. "Are you sure this is what _you_ want?"

"I'm sure that I want my body, and my life, back from Cerberus. This is just one step on the road to getting there."

Adrift in this tempest, Garrus could only hang his head, defeated. Dragging his footsteps, he left them to it. Elaine watched him go, feeling her gut wrench with the same guilt as it had when she'd watched Kasumi leave. And whilst part of this was in response to what had happened earlier between them, she was also not wrong in her wish to take back her body from Cerberus.

She laid down on the bed, once again having to control the urge to fight her way free as Chakwas pottered about around her, setting on the machines and fiddling with them to be ready. When the good Doctor approached Elaine with a needle, her composure snapped. Her hand shot out to close tightly around the older woman's wrist. "No."

"Elaine," Chakwas said sternly, not even a hint to show the discomfort she must've felt. "I need to give you a sedative for the procedure."

"No. I am not going to sleep." It wasn't an option, her mind was beating against the walls of her control, she was on the verge of a panic attack, an inch away from breaking loose and fighting her way out of this place.

"If you don't, then it will be a very long and somewhat painful experience."

Her earnest words were almost laughable. "I assure you, pain is the least of my concerns."

"Elaine–"

"I either get this procedure with you, now, with no sedatives; Or, I go to some back-market surgeon on the Citadel and have it done in far less appealing conditions. Your choice, Doctor."

At the ultimatum, Chakwas looked torn. Elaine was actually fearful the Doctor would call her bluff – she had no idea how she would go about making good on her threat. But one thing was for sure, she refused to keep the evidence of her imprisonment and abuse a second longer than she had to. Eventually, Chakwas conceded, and Elaine was allowed to finally breathe easy.

As the machines began to hum in preparation for activation, Elaine looked to the ceiling, steeled her jaw, and braced for the worst.

* * *

"You want me to talk to her?" asked Shepard.

Chakwas nodded simply. "Whilst Miss Cousland is physically healing well – far better than most other patients – I fear that her mental state is not recovering so quickly. She's drawing into herself, shutting others out, prone to mood-swings, and seems obsessed with the idea that she must 'reclaim' her body from her ordeal."

The Commander shuffled his feet a little anxiously. "I know, Chakwas. The whole crew's been feelin' something's not right. But I don't see what I can do to help."

"Elaine has pushed aside those closest to her. Two days ago, she wanted me to help heal her scars. Garrus attempted to talk her out of it, but she refused to listen. She's not connecting on an emotional level. But she respects you, Commander. And I believe that your experience to such a similar condition will help her to listen."

It took everything in Shepard not to react. Of course the Doctor had known about his mental issues during the Suicide Mission, she wasn't an idiot and he wouldn't treat her as such. But it was still a sore spot to realise that others had seen how weak he'd been. Even when he tried to tell himself that there was no shame in that, as he viewed all the crew of the Normandy as family; it was still a battle. It was just the way he was built.

"You think because she helped me… _before_ , I can help her now?" he asked. Chakwas nodded.

Going to the Starboard lounge, Shepard knocked on the door loudly. He remembered almost eight months ago, when he'd been at his worst, he'd hated it whenever someone came into his personal quarters unannounced. It was a safe-space, and to have it intruded upon without invitation felt like a major threat. He would respect Elaine by letting her decide if she would allow him entry.

When she opened the door, he immediately noticed the smoothness of her skin, flaunted on her bare arms. She didn't appear to be falling apart at the seams. Yet Shepard knew from experience that sometimes the best actors were the ones hiding the most pain.

"Shepard?" she frowned in confusion, as if wondering how he had appeared before her. "What are you doing here?"

Lips pressed in a line, he awkwardly gestured to the room behind her. "Can I come in? I feel like we need to talk."

After a moment of hesitation, the Warden stepped aside. Shepard strolled in and immediately sat himself on one of the long sofas facing the large window. He noticed the pile of blankets on the other sofa, where Elaine had obviously been sleeping. Silently, he reminded himself to put an order in requisitions through Cortez about getting her a bed for in here, make her more comfortable. The woman sat at the opposite end of the couch, hands clutched tightly on her lap. Her shoulders were squared, her posture straight and tight.

"What do you want to talk about, Shepard?" she asked, an ever so slight caution in her tone.

Other people might ease into the sensitive subject, might approach with care and delicacy. But when Shepard tried, he found that he couldn't find the words. Cursing himself, he decided _to Hell with it,_ and got straight to the point. "Elaine, you need to talk about what happened on that station."

She blinked, and then her gaze grew icy. "I beg your pardon?"

"Ever since you came back, you've not been acting right. You're cold, distant, you keep pushing yourself to try and recover faster but you don't have to."

"I think I will be the one to decide what is done with _my_ body."

"I'm not talking about your body, I'm talking about your mind," Shepard pressed. "I'm offering for you to talk about it to me. I know what it's like to go through something like this, remember?"

"No two sufferings are ever the same," she murmured, looking away from him and out the window onto the endless twinkling black beyond. "Why do I have to keep telling everyone this? I don't want to talk about it. I just want to move on."

"Is pushing Garrus away ' _moving on'_? Is isolating yourself from your friends ' _moving on'_? Come on, Elaine. You know this isn't the real you. The real you is a kind, compassionate woman driven by her heart."

"And the real me was too weak, and that's why I got captured!" she suddenly snarled, eyes bright with fury. Shepard stared at her abrupt anger, and seeing his shock, Elaine tried to calm herself. "Shepard… I endured torture, humiliation, and abuse at the hands of Cerberus. I was cut up, defiled, and made a mockery. And then I get out, and I find that everything's gone to Hell in my absence. I still lay awake at night, because I don't want nightmares of going back to that place. I still can't walk into the Medbay without the urge to scream and get out. _Cerberus_ did that to me. _Cerberus_ changed me into _this_! And now I have to live with that. And the only thing that's keeping me going is to try and fight back for normalcy, to show them that they did not break me!"

Shepard had to swallow the lump that was building in his throat. He rubbed his hand over the three-day stubble on his chin. "Elaine, I… I'm so sorry. About all of it. I should've known that it was a trap. I should've done _something_. Maybe then you wouldn't be suffering like this."

"Just help me get my life back, Shepard," she whispered. "And then we'll call it even."

"Tell me what you want. I'll help any way I can!"

She looked him dead in the eye. "Put me on the ground team again."

Now it was Shepard's turn to blink dumbly. "What? Elaine, you need time–"

"Chakwas told me I would be back to prime health after a week of treatment – that's tomorrow. I've been regaining my strength, I can still fight." She argued.

"It's not about your ability to fight. It's about your mental state."

"You were fighting when you were mentally falling apart. And I don't think you can afford to be picky in this war." She pointed out with cold efficiency. "I'm willing to fight Cerberus, fight the Reapers, with _everything_ I have. Help me destroy those who took six months of my already shortened life from me. Killing Cerberus will finally close that dark chapter on my life; I can finally get the retribution I deserve and move on."

Shepard didn't want to admit to her point. He wanted to tell her that he needed clear-headed soldiers who wouldn't run off trigger-happy because of their issues. But at the same time, he couldn't escape the fierceness in her eyes. That drive, that singular focus was a potent thing, and Shepard knew it all too well. He had always been a firm believer that one method of help didn't work for everyone. Some people needed to talk it out, others needed to be doing something as an outlet. Who's to say that Elaine wouldn't be helped this way?

Reluctantly, he sighed. "Okay."

* * *

 **A/N: Please don't forget to Review! Every comment is welcome.**


	6. The Prothean

_Hot wax sizzled on Elaine's flesh as she gripped the candle tightly in her palm. She hissed, the urge to drop it strong in her burning skin. But it was the only illumination she had to peer through the gloom. Thick black fog swept all around her. She was barely able to make out her outreached hand. The flame flickered in the wind as she tried to wade through this dense shroud._

 _Sounds echoed to her through the mist, shapes and shadows fleetingly forming and dissipating before she could make sense of them. A voice sobbed seemingly close beside her right ear. "Stop! Don't hurt him. Please, have mercy on him – he's just a boy!"_

 _The glint of a sword caught her eye. In the shadows on the fog, Elaine saw a boy huddled on the floor, clutched tight to his mother. The silhouette of a woman stood over the pair of them, sword held aloft, ready to strike them down. Elaine blanched, recognising the voice for Lady Isolde of Redcliffe. But no, she thought furiously, she hadn't killed Connor – she'd initially wanted to, but couldn't go through with the bloody deed. She squeezed her eyes shut and turned away from the image, huddling the burning flame closer to her heart so that it wouldn't be extinguished in the sudden gust of wind._

 _The scent of disinfectant stung her nose, and blast of cold swept along the floor and climbed up her legs. A scream echoed through the fog; her scream. Elaine whirled around, disorientated and confused. A figure was walking towards her through the mist, his shadow tall, slightly hunched, a thin sword at his side. Heart beginning to hammer wildly, Elaine tried to step away, but her feet were stuck to the ground she could not see._

 _"Welcome aboard, Miss Cousland," came the lecherous voice of Kei Leng, his hand reaching for her through the mist. "Cerberus thanks you for the contributions you're going to make towards Humanity's future,"_

 _Desperately, Elaine tried to scramble away, almost casting away the flame in her hand. With enough force that she nearly dislocated her ankles, she pulled on her feet and tried to run. But then, another vice sounded in the mist. Just to her left. Stomach flipping, Elaine tried to peer around as the rich honey tones of her best friend gently glided on the breeze to her ears._

 _"_ _My friends," she heard him say. Frantically, Elaine ran towards his voice, and after a time thought she could see the silhouette of Alistair, stood in his father's armour. He stared her way, his voice low and mournful. "We are gathered here to pay our respects to the Grey Warden that saved us all."_

 _She slammed to a halt. Through the mist she could now see more figures, more shadows. Her friends, her brother, the leaders of the factions she had all pulled together to form her army. They were all gathered around as if for a funeral… and she realised with a sickening sense of dread that they were._

 _"_ _Elaine Cousland gave her life to stop the Blight." Continued Alistair. "A sacrifice we must never forget."_

 _Hands crawled across Elaine's skin. She desperately tried to bat them away, but every time she turned, only the mist surrounded her. But she could feel them, touching her hair, running along her hips, across her breasts. Panicking, Elaine tried to reach for Alistair, her best friend, the one she could always count on, no matter what. She reached out the flame to him, hoping that if she illuminated him, he would be real, and he could save her. "Alistair!" she called weakly. "I'm here!"_

 _"_ _I… I thought we would be…" Alistair looked away, his voice choked. "Friends, let us hope that she has gone on to a better place and that she knows just how thankful we are for what she has done here."_

 _Could he not see them?! The hands now had knives, needles, pincers, all of them poking at her, tearing her open. Alistair was just WATCHING. Why wouldn't he do something to save her?! "Alistair! Please! I'm here – I'M HERE!"_

 _"_ _You will be missed. More than I can possibly say…"_

 _And then he was gone. Gleefully, the hands relished in her despair and pulled her into their embrace. Elaine fought and struggled, screaming until she was hoarse. She tried to lift the candle that burned her skin so that they wouldn't have it. They tore her open, took pieces from inside her, all the while cackling madly. At first Elaine thought she was weeping, but then realised that it was her own laughter she could hear in her ears._

 _"_ _But the true abomination," whispered a raspy voice, a voice she recognised from long ago in the darkest pits of the earth, "is not that it occurred… but that it was_ _ **allowed**_ _! The stone has punished me, dream-friend. I am dying of something worse than death. Betrayal."_

 _And then the ground quaked. It rumbled and roared and broke apart. In the palm of her hand, the candle spluttered as it suddenly had little left to feed it. The wax was nothing more than scalding hot droplets that dribbled off her skin. And then, it was gone, flashing out of existence. Elaine cried out with anguish as she was plunged into darkness. The world continued to tremble all around her, and then, a monstrous roar deafened her with its beautiful but horrible voice. Something thudded and clanked above her. From the darkness, two eyes glowed. One milky white, the other red and blazing. Elaine tried to cower away as the red light flashed bright, blinding her, and then another mechanical roar drowned out the world as Elaine was engulphed in flames._

"ARRRRRRRRGH!" Elaine screamed, jolting awake back in her own bed. For a moment she panicked as the sheets became tangled around her ankles. It took her too long to recognise that she was in her own room on the Normandy, the Starboard Lounge, in her new bed. The dark was too oppressing. Only the rosy lights at the edges of the ceiling were dimly lit so that there wasn't total blackness. But she despised it, reminding her too much of her dream.

Stumbling out from her bed, Elaine threw herself to the window and slammed her hand down on the control panel. There was a loud CLANK that made her startle, but then the shutter began to roll away from the window. The great expanse of space was revealed to her, the soft light of distant stars bathing the room. Almost instantly, Elaine felt her entire body relax, and then begin to shake as the adrenaline started to leave her system.

She hung her head, running her hands through her hair as she attempted to focus her mind. The dreams hadn't ceased since she'd been rescued, and that was two weeks ago now. And despite the fact that they always involved something new to torture her with, they always ended the same – an Archdemon bearing down on her. Did it mean something? Last time she'd dreamed so often of the Old Gods, it almost spelled doom.

 _Yes, but you were also losing your mind,_ she chided herself. _This is just your sanity slipping away again – another thing Cerberus has stolen!_

But what if it wasn't? With a shiver, Elaine looked around the empty room, a room with too many shadows, too many places for lingering voices to hide. What if the Archdemon was back? What if it _had_ been inside her head? What if it had just been waiting for a moment when she was at her weakest and now sought to claim her once again?

 _Then I will not allow it,_ she vowed. _I will control it. I will fight it. I will force it to let me have my vengeance, to do my duty. And then, I will make sure it won't harm anyone else. But until that time, no one must ever know._

* * *

The more time passed, the more it became clear that Elaine's mental stability was continuing to decline. Or at least, to Garrus it was. But everyone else he asked, seemed to think that Elaine was just acting very professionally. She never acted irrationally or with any kind of outburst. She might be a little withdrawn, they said, but otherwise she was perfectly fine. Yet Garrus knew better. He knew that the real Elaine wouldn't be distant, she wasn't cold and efficient, she was full of life and passion. And the more he saw her without that spark, the further away from her he seemed to feel. He was lost and helpless to do anything.

"You need to relax," Shepard tried to tell him at one point.

"Maybe I will, when everyone stops acting like _I'm_ the crazy one just for wanting to help!" Garrus snapped testily. Almost instantly, he regretted his tone, and gave a heavy sigh. "Sorry, Shepard. I'm just… not with it. This isn't exactly how I imagined my reunion with Elaine would go."

To his credit, Shepard didn't reprimand Garrus, instead looking upon him with pity. "I know this has gotta be tough for you. But you can't beat yourself up over this, Garrus. Just give her a little time."

"And what if by then we've drifted so far away there's no going back?" the turian voiced the small insecurity that plagued him at night.

"Nobody said you had to stay away entirely," Shepard said. "Try and reconnect. Take it slow. Rome wasn't built in a day."

Despite not knowing that human metaphor, Garrus ignored it in favour of the idea that suddenly came to him.

Around an hour later, he'd managed to collect Starfang, given it a proper clean and sharpened the blade exactly as the instructions on the extranet told him. EDI then told him where exactly he would find his Warden, down in the cargo bay. The entire elevator ride down, he fidgeted nervously, holding the sword in his hands as if it were made of glass. He hoped this worked, Elaine loved this sword, called it her most precious possession. He hoped that it would remind her of better times, could help bring them together. Some part of him was a little sad to return it, for not only had it saved his life once or twice over the past six months, but it had also been his only tether to the woman he thought he loved. He'd promised to return it to her, but in giving it back, it felt like he was losing that one last part of her he remembered. The point was moot, anyway, he realised. The sword belonged to Elaine, she was incomplete without it. It was the right thing to do. And it _would_ bring her back to him, it just _had to!_

When Garrus stepped out into the hold, he was immediately greeted by the shuttle pilot, Cortez. A decent man, well spoken and mannered, but with a subtle yet wicked sense of humour. Garrus had easily liked him. The two exchanged a short greeting, before Garrus' attention was drawn further into the hold.

Mats were spread on the floor. Atop them, Vega danced around, fists up to protect his face, dressed in nothing but a pair of shorts. Opposite him, Elaine stalked in a circle like a jungle-cat from earth, hands by her sides, eyes watching and waiting for a moment to strike. The pair charged at each other. Where one would assume Vega would hit the hardest because of his immense size and muscle mass; Elaine was able to hit him just as hard as he hit her. The pair fought with nothing held back. When they let loose a punch or a kick, everyone could feel the weight behind each impact. Sweat dripped down their bodies, Vega's nose was bloody, and Elaine had a bruise starting to bloom on her cheek.

As Garrus watched, he couldn't help the stab of jealousy that twisted and writhed in his gut like an angry flame. Sparring always used to be their thing, him and Elaine, working off stress, something only they did exclusively with each other. How long had this been going on? Why didn't she reach out to him? If she wanted to spar, he would've been happy to help…

The fight ended when Elaine ducked low, and punched Vega in the stomach as hard as she could. The man doubled over, and the woman seized the opportunity to grab hold of his shoulders and knee him in the ribs repeatedly. Yelling in pain, Vega seized hold of her around the waist, jumped up, and slammed the pair of them down. Elaine was left winded and pinned beneath him.

"Do they really need to be that rough?" Garrus asked Cortez, trying desperately to keep the twitching anger out of his voice as he watched the pair on the mats.

Cortez sighed. "I tried. Neither of 'em want a ref," he shrugged. "I think they _want_ to try and beat the living crap out of each other – take it out on _something_ , right?"

Garrus was silent as he watched Vega slowly stagger to his feet, trying to regain his breath, before leaning down to help pull Elaine up. The pair of them were shaking, as if they'd been at this for hours. Barely able to stand, Vega still managed to give a breathy chuckle. "Damn _Lola,_ how'm I supposed to work my pretty face when you fight so dirty?"

Elaine spat blood onto the floor. "If you don't like it, fight better. And what did you call me?"

He grinned. " _Lola._ Like I call Shepard _Loco_. You kinda look like a _Lola_."

"Same time tomorrow?"

"Already wanting more, huh? Can't keep you ladies away." Vega laughed. He turned to leave, slapping Elaine's shoulder as he passed. " _Eres increíble, mi amiga!_ "

Garrus didn't say a word until the human had pulled himself into the elevator to head for the showers. He knew Elaine had already spotted him, could feel her eyes on him. When he turned forward again, he found her almost right in front of him. Yet still there was a distance of a few feet between them, one which Garrus was painfully aware of. As if sensing their need for a certain level of privacy, Cortez had excused himself to go check on the Kodiak. Garrus reminded himself to thank the pilot later.

"You okay?" was all Garrus said at first, unsure how to kickstart the conversation.

Elaine nodded. As if she already knew what he was thinking, she said: "Vega and I started these sessions just the other day. I needed a living opponent to hit. Someone human-enough for me to vent on. Someone who didn't know from… from before."

Someone who wouldn't go easy on her, was what was left unsaid. Garrus tried to brush away the feeling of sad rejection, and instead tried to forge ahead with his plan. "Elaine? I know things have been a little… _off_ with us, lately. But I wanted to return this."

He held out the sword to her. The instant her eyes settled on the familiar blade, she grew statue-still. With an ever-so-slight tremble in her hands, she reached out carefully took it into her embrace like a long-long-child. In one grand sweep, she unsheathed the sword from its scabbard. The metal sang as it was held aloft. Was it Garrus' imagination, or did the sword seem to glow a little brighter when now in the hands of its rightful owner? For a fleeting moment, Garrus thought he saw the return of the old Elaine in her face, which glowed with happiness to be whole again. She finally tore her gaze away from the sword, to stare up at him. The turian's heart began to beat a little faster, a smile spreading across his face.

"You remember when you gave me that sword?" he asked, nearly breathless. "I didn't want to take the damn thing. But then you said…"

"Hold on to it, until we are reunited, and I can fight at your side with it once more…" the words echoed from her mouth, an ever so slight smile tugging at the corner of her lips. A lock of hair fell in front of her face.

Tentatively, Garrus reached up and gently tucked the stray strand back behind her ear. He allowed his talons to linger on her skin, trailing down the path of her jaw as if he meant to cup her face in his hand. Elaine continued to stare into his eyes, with each moment appearing more and more like herself and –

Her eyes fixed on something behind him. With an exclaimed curse, the Grey Warden jumped back, features distorting from affection to horror and anger. She readied herself in a battle-stance, holding her sword aloft and ready. Garrus spun to see what had frightened her so, only to find Javik stepping out of the elevator. As the Prothean's four sneering eyes glanced over everything in his general vicinity, Garrus finally understood what had Elaine so spooked.

"No, Elaine! It's okay!" he quickly spun back to her, holding up his hands to try and signal for peace. "This is Javik! He's a Prothean, he's with us."

"That is incorrect, Turian," said Javik, his words almost made indecipherable to Garrus with a thick accent, even though it still managed to perfectly convey his scorn. "I am working _with_ the Commander, to avenge my people and destroy the Reapers."

Elaine slowly shortened her stance, but she did not lower her sword, still wary. "I thought the Protheans were extinct. How do we know he is not a Collector?"

Javik's lip curled to show his offence. "I come from a time when my people were more than those indoctrinated monsters. I am a true Prothean, not a mockery of one."

"Javik's been frozen in sleep for the past fifty thousand years," Garrus explained at Elaine's confused look. "Hey, maybe that's something you two have in common? Javik, Elaine here is also a woman out of her time."

The Prothean looked Elaine up and down. Sword finally lowered, she stood straight and proud and said, "I've travelled a thousand years from my own world."

"And not a technologically advanced one," Javik muttered, glancing at her sword. "A primitive amongst primitives."

Elaine's eyes narrowed. Garrus tried to mollify her anger, leaning closer to stage-whisper: "Ignore his superiority complex, the rest of us do."

"I watched the sparring from my quarters," said Javik, pointedly ignoring Garrus' existence as he took a step closer to Elaine. "Your combat style is ruthless, destructive, but clinical; it is competent enough to use against the Reapers' creatures."

"You speak as if I require your approval. Let me state clearly right now, that I need no such thing." Elaine retorted with the same scathing tone. "But by all means, tell me how you disapprove. I'll be sure to consider such words when I am able to find a single fuck to give."

Garrus nearly choked on his laughter. Where had she learned that phrase?

As she went to shove her way past Javik, the Prothean reached out and briefly touched her. The moment his fingers brushed her skin, the pair of them froze to the spot. Javik's eyes flickered back and forth as if he were reading an invisible text. Garrus' visor told him Elaine's heart-rate had just spiked exponentially.

"You are indeed a warrior," Javik sound, his voice sounding suddenly eerie, as if from another world. Garrus was reminded of when he'd seen Liara mind-meld with Shepard to find Ilos. Just like then, he now felt the plates along his spine tingle. It took him a moment to remember Shepard's story of how Javik could read his environment – and people – with a touch. "All your life, you have honed your body for the purpose of war. You have fought, you have killed, you have… died… Yet now you are conflicted. Confusion over your torture, despair that you are losing your mind, and anger, _so much anger._ And there is something else, deep within, a–"

Suddenly, Javik ripped himself away from Elaine. The woman stumbled with a cry as if pained. Garrus immediately went to steady her, fearful that Javik had somehow hurt her. When he went to reprimand the careless Prothean, he found the alien pulled away from them both, as if revolted even by the sight of the woman before him. Elaine shivered under his gaze.

"What have you done to yourself?!" Javik demanded in a quiet voice. "Something dark and twisted lingers in your blood. A foul corruption, not too dissimilar from the Reapers themselves."

"That's enough, Javik." Garrus snapped defensively, feeling the woman in his arms cringe away from the Prothean's hateful words.

"There is an evil in this woman, Turian. In it, I hear a thousand voices, a force so malevolent it waits to devour her and everything around it. And I know she bonded with this _thing_ willingly. She is a viper in the grass, and will strike when we least expect it."

"I said enough!" shouted Garrus, leaning forward to growl in the Prothean's unflinching face.

"Hey!" called Cortez hotly from the other side of the Cargo Hold. "Everything okay over there?"

Garrus glared Javik down for several long moments, making sure his point was clear, before he called out: "Yeah. We're good, Cortez."

But it was only when he finally turned away from Javik, that he noticed that the woman he'd been defending was gone.

* * *

For what felt like the dozenth time that morning, Victus re-read through the reports he'd been sent from his fleets attempting to defend nearly all of Turian-Space. Most of it was concentrated around Palaven, but he refused to think he would abandon those of his people who lived off the homeworld. They had to be protected as well, or at least, given the chance to flee. Reading through the casualty numbers made his heart grow heavy, a sense of hopelessness yawn wide to wonder at what possible chance they could have for victory. But this feeling was only brief. He refused to allow it to consume him. Instead, he used it to fuel his determination. He _would_ save his people. He _would_ forge this alliance and give Palaven a fighting chance. The Turians would not go down without a fight!

The Normandy was approaching the peace-summit, the Salarian and Krogan dignitaries would be on board within the hour. Victus had to shake his head at the thought of the Asari backing out simply because it would _problematic_. Cowards, he thought. His people had more bad blood with the Krogan than possibly even the Salarians, yet he wasn't turning squeamish over this. It was enough to infuriate him, but decided to leave it be. Deal with the Asari later, he had enough to worry about knowing the Salarians were going to be a pain in his ass over this upcoming negotiation.

He took a datapad along with him to scan through the numbers again, as well as attempt to memorise all the information he'd gathered on the other dignitaries he'd be meeting with today. By all accounts, Urdnot Wrex was what the Krogan's might call a progressive, ditching the heavily valued traditions of his people to prioritise survival for the next generation. But he was no softie, his previous association with Shepard should've been proof enough of that. Victus knew he'd need to get to the point and cut hard and fast with him.

As he got himself settled into the meeting room to await the other dignitaries, the doors opened again behind him. He looked up to see Garrus stumbling in, a little out of breath from having run here. Victus schooled his expression. He'd pinged Garrus to meet him here ten minutes ago. Whilst he didn't approve of tardiness, he knew he shouldn't scold him like he was his father. The young Vakarian needed to be treated with a little more respect than that. He was, after all, third in line after Victus for the seat of Primarch.

"Vakarian," Victus greeted. "Glad you could make it."

Something in his formal tone must've given him away, because Garrus immediately began to trip over his own words in his haste to apologise. "Sir! I'm so sorry, I was busy with–"

"Calibrations, I know," he murmured. "But, you're here now. That's what matters."

"Primarch Victus, sir?" Garrus asked, cautious as if unsure how to phrase his next words correctly. "Why exactly am I here?"

"Palaven _needs_ this alliance, Vakarian. We need the Krogan on our side. To convince them, I'll need all the help I can get. You served with Urdnot Wrex on the SR1, and you're the third highest ranking officer in the Turian Hierarchy. Wrex is sure to feel a little more at ease if he thinks he has another ally in the room."

He slid his datapad to Garrus along the glass table. Sitting down, Garrus began to scroll through the messages. "To think… if our grandfathers could see us now… going to the Krogan for help…"

"I don't care what our grandfathers would think," Victus snapped. "This war is more than any of them could've imagined. Casualty reports in the millions. Two of our dreadnoughts lost in a matter of hours."

"I know, Primarch, I didn't mean anything by it."

Victus stood from the table to gaze out the window onto the endless expanse of stars, talons clasped behind his back. "We have to turn this around. And fast."

"Well, you can trust Shepard, sir. If anybody can get the Krogan to cooperate, it's him. He's an old friend of Urdnot Wrex."

"Let's just hope friendship still counts for something in this war." Victus murmured. "I cannot even begin to count how many lives are counting on this negotiation being a success. Our troops need heavy reinforcements. We need to at least halt the Reaper advance." He took a moment as a stray thought entered his mind, and allowed a small smile to spread on his mandibles, even as a familiar ache twisted in his heart. "Huh. If my Lita were here, she'd have the Reapers in full retreat by sundown. Never met a more remarkable woman than that. Could make a vorcha shrink in his boots with just a look. I tell you, Vakarian, in times like these we need guts like that. Vakarian?"

When he got no answer, he turned, and saw that Garrus was staring off into space. Cocking a brow-plate, Victus cleared his throat loudly to grab the other Turian's attention. It worked, for Garrus nearly jumped out of his seat with fright. "Oh! S-Sorry! Sir! I-I must've…"

"A little distracted, Vakarian?"

"Um, you could say that, sir. I'm so sorry, Primarch, it won't happen again."

"You have me intrigued now," Victus pressed, turning around to fully face him. "What's on your mind?"

The young man's throat blushed brightly with shame at being caught. "It's, um, it's Elaine, sir. Sorry, Miss Cousland."

"The human female Shepard rescued from Cerberus?" Victus clarified.

"Yes sir." Garrus nodded. At just the mere mention of the female, his subharmonics began to take on a life of their own, growing warm and filled with protective assurance. An alien wouldn't be able to pick up on these subtle tells, but Victus could. "I'm just worried about her is all. I'm not sure she's recovering all that well."

"Shepard seems to think she is, otherwise why would she not be cleared for ground-missions?"

"I mean, physically, yeah. Elaine's one of the best fighters I've ever seen! It's just… I want to help her. I don't think she's letting herself recover mentally. And I–I worry, is all."

Victus had to suppress the smirk that threatened to spread his mandibles wide. Vakarian's affection for the woman was as clear as day. And he couldn't stop himself from teasing. "Didn't know you were that into humans, Vakarian."

Immediately, Garrus blushed near bright-blue at his throat. "N-no! I mean, it's not like that, sir!" he stuttered. "I just, I mean, we all look out for each other on the Normandy. Not that there's anything wrong with – you know, _liking_ humans. And Elaine's an amazing woman. I just–"

Victus held up a hand for silence. "Garrus," he smiled softly. "If I might be so bold… It's clear to me that you do care about this woman, deeply. Am I wrong?"

"Yes – I mean, no. Sir, I do… care about her." His eyes drifted away again, and once more his subharmonics told the story that his words did not. "It happened when we went up against the Collectors. Blowing off steam, I thought at first. But, I don't know, it just… it just felt like so much more. Not that it matters now, anyway." He sighed, miserably studying his own hands in his lap. "After everything that's happened… I'm almost sure whatever _it_ was is gone…"

 _Well I'll be damned…_ Victus thought in wonder as he stared hard at an oblivious Vakarian. For truly, he must be oblivious, to himself as well as everything around him. Victus could see quite clearly that Vakarian cared for this Elaine-woman, even more than he was letting on, and that he didn't want it to be over between them. The unhappiness evident in him at the thought of losing her was almost as plain as the fringe on his head. So few Turians these days ever found what was clearly happening to Garrus right now. Victus could tell almost immediately, because he had been the exact same. When he'd mated with his beloved Lita, it had been frowned upon by his peers as she was very low in the rankings of the hierarchy at the time. They all chose a bond-mate that would help their social standing, having never found what Adrien did. That love which resonated in his very bones, that made it impossible to think of how life was worth living without her.

When he'd lost Lita, he'd contemplated ending his own life more than once. But he had an infant son to look after. He knew she would've wanted him to carry on for Tarquin's sake. Still, the pain of her loss haunted him almost every day. And he could tell that Garrus had almost been at that same point when he'd thought he'd lost his Elaine. It was clear he was unaware what was happening to him, so Victus thought it appropriate not to spoil the surprise. Let him figure it out on his own. The time would come soon enough when he would know for sure.

"Get out of here, Vakarain," Vitus sighed after a lengthy silence, deciding to take pity on the poor confused youngster.

Garrus looked up sharply, alarmed. "Sir? No! Please, I promise I won't be distracted when we're–"

"Garrus," Victus reasoned, "we both know we need you in top shape for this war. Go get some rest. Relax a little. I'll send you notes on how this peace-summit goes."

As Victus watched him go, he felt his shoulders sag a little. Whilst it was great to see some small light of potential happiness in these dark times, Victus couldn't help but pessimistically wonder if this revelation for Garrus would come too late…

* * *

 **Author's Note: I know this chapter is 2 weeks late! I'm sorry. Unfortunately, real life threw some unexpected wrenches into the mix, and it delayed my schedule without even a moment for breathing room. Apologies, I will try to get back on schedule.**

 **Finally we meet Javik! I know a couple of people have been wondering where he is, and don't worry, he is here, and the main plot is moving forward. Up next is Sur'kesh!**

 **If you liked this chapter, please leave a review. It really helps my creative process and helps to get this story noticed by even more fantastic readers. Thanks guys!**


	7. The Female

EDI had retrieved the dragon-blood armour and the Griffon shield from where she'd hidden it six months ago. Elaine didn't ask where. Just holding it again… it felt the same as when Garrus had returned her sword to her. Her hands trembled to touch them. A part of her hoped that having these pieces of the past would help to make her feel more normal; more whole once again. Yet another part of her believed these items that she viewed as almost sacred, would burn her where they knew how wrong she was on the inside.

Putting on each piece was cathartic, in a way. Once her armour had been fully set in place, Elaine felt herself stand a little taller. With the shield on her arm, she walked a little surer. With Starfang in hand, she felt ready to take on the galaxy.

Shepard got her up to speed as she climbed aboard the shuttle. The peace summit hadn't gone exactly as planned. The Krogan would only help the Turians if they were given a cure for the Genophage. As it turned out, the Salarians were holding several female Krogans prisoner on their planet of Sur'Kesh. These females had been made immune to the Genophage through surviving Maelon's experiments. Elaine pitied them a moment as she remembered the horrors she'd found in that dungeon. On board the shuttle with them to reclaim the females, was the Krogan-Leader, Wrex. Elaine remembered him, had thought all politics could do with more pragmatic leaders like him. Along with her and Wrex and Shepard, Garrus and Javik had also been brought along. Elaine felt a little more comfort not only at having Garrus there (even if the pair of them were on uncertain terms), but also to be in a group of four again. She much preferred an adventuring party of four instead of Shepard's usual three. She only wished it was someone other than Javik. After their not-so-pleasant introduction this morning, Elaine would rather keep a healthy distance from him. The Prothean was a mage of some description, able to see beneath her skin with a simple touch. He saw how defiled she was, the evil she carried within her. Her skin crawled just remembering the feeling of him looking inside her.

As they flew over the planet of Sur'Kesh, Elaine watched the landscape zip past out the window. It was a beautiful world. Steep mountains covered in lush jungle-forest vegetation, glittering emerald from the bright, warm, golden sun. Rivers and waterfalls snaked through the land, bright and smooth and picturesque. It was hard to look at this place and imagine the horror the Reapers would inflict when they got here.

The Salarians were not welcoming when they reached the base where the females were being held captive. Despite eventually allowing them into the base, it was only on the condition that Wrex remain under heavy guard. Shepard was not very forgiving and cut through the Salarians with his words to be sure they understood: he was leaving with the females, whether they liked it or not. Wilting a little under the Commander's stare, the Salarians soon gave in and offered to take them to the lower levels.

Elaine marched right behind Shepard. Her eyes only briefly glanced side to side in order to take in every Salarian and count the possible threats. Each one could be a snake in the grass. And considering their behaviour on this mission, she was more than ready to cut them down if need be. So engrossed in her own mental-killings, she didn't notice Javik pause momentarily to glance out on the gorgeous view of the jungle just over the edge of the balcony. "During my cycle," he said in his strange, deep accented voice. "We forgot what beauty looked like. The Reapers extinguished it everywhere they went."

When no one spoke after an awkward moment, Garrus asked: "What was your homeworld like?"

"I never knew. It was already a wasteland when I was born."

"The Salarians can't really stay out of the war forever," Garrus said. "Though seeing this, I can't really blame them for trying."

Elaine huffed. "Considering how they treat potential allies, one wonders how many they'll have left when this war is over."

One of the Salarians authorised them to use the elevators. But the moment the doors opened, an alarm blared overhead. Everyone tensed, immediately. Elaine reached for her sword but didn't unsheathe it just yet. Shepard turned to the Salarian that had welcomed them. "What's happening?"

On the other-side of the base, an air-machine lifted into the sky and shot off into the distance. Around them, Salarians tried to hurriedly get to where they needed to be without appearing as if there was anything to worry about. The salarian beside them checked his Omnitool. "Sensors have picked up activity along the perimeter. Hurry, Commander. Someone will meet you below."

They all gathered into the elevator, and Elaine noticed how Shepard's shoulders were tensed, even when encased in his usual black armour. The ride down was silent. Even as they descended through multiple levels, Elaine could still hear the siren in her head. Her fingers itched to reach for her sword once again. When the doors opened, they were ushered into a dimly lit lab.

The hum of machines filled the room. Salarians, dozens of them, flittered too and fro like a swarm, constantly moving, constantly thinking, constantly devouring the information they received from their technology. Around the lab, Elaine could see glass containment cells, but the lighting within was so poor she could barely make out more than a silhouette inside each. Suddenly, there was a bustle from across the room, and a gaggle of Salarians parted to make room for one of them to step towards the aliens in their midst.

"Shepard! Excellent timing!" chirped a familiar voice. Elaine's eyes widened in surprise. There stood Mordin, still in the same white and red uniform she remembered from the Suicide Mission. If it were possible, he looked slightly older, a few more wrinkles, his voice a little cracked. She knew Salarians aged much faster than any other race, but still, it left her feeling disturbed.

The Commander was obviously just as surprised to see him, as he gaped at the doctor. "Mordin?"

Said Salarian immediately came over to their little group, a small smile on his face as he reached out to shake Shepard's hand quickly. "Eyesight still sharp. Surprise understandable. Hadn't expected to return to work."

"You're back with STG?" Garrus asked.

"Special consultant. Had to be me. Someone else might've gotten it wrong." It was then that he noticed Elaine standing there. "Ah, Miss Cousland. Good to see you. Heard about nasty business with Cerberus. Unacceptable. Obvious appearance of unrest and anxiety normal. Part of PTSD. Still, glad to have you here."

Elaine had to hold on to her self-control with an iron fist in order to not let loose the anger that he had dissected her in front of everyone or the hopeless sigh of defeat that she was so easy to read. Eventually, she quietly said: "Tis good to see you also, Moridn."

And then, Mordin paused. Usually not stopping even for breath, the unlike-him-behaviour immediately put her back on edge. He checked over his shoulder in order to make sure no one was listening in, before bending forward to whisper: "Helped female Krogan. Fed information to clan Urdnot. Encouraged political pressure to free females."

Everyone gaped at him. Elaine was the first to recover, brows pushed down in stunned outrage. " _You_ arranged this? But on Tuchanka – everything you said! Why would you turn your back on the work you were so adamant was right?"

"Was _because_ of mission on Tuchanka. Your words stuck with me. _Look at the dead woman, Mordin. It doesn't look like you 'saved' her._ "

Elaine was rendered speechless as she stared. Her gut told her there was more to it than that. But before she could overcome her mute state, Mordin shook his head and hurriedly rambled on to Shepard: "Can explain later. Security warnings not normal. Need to get off world for sake of Krogan."

Mordin then led them further into the labs. As they passed the darkened cages, Elaine tried to peer inside, tried to see the forms within. But once again, all she spotted was shadows. Mordin talked as he walked: "Females had weakened immune systems. Side effect of Maelon's _cure_." He stopped in front of one cage. Elaine peered inside, until she was finally able to make out the bodies of krogan females laid out on the floor, sheets covering their modesty in death. Her fist tightened painfully. "These… didn't survive."

"I'm sure you did everything you could," Shepard was trying to say, and Elaine wanted to scream. These women were _dead_! Killed under the needles of their captors. Experimented on, tortured, then held like animals and now they were _dead!_

"Arrived too late. Cannot delay now!" Mordin exclaimed passionately. "One survivor. Immune to genophage. Can synthesise cure from her tissue."

"She's still here?" Shepard pressed as Moridn led them to the other side of the lab, to a different, darker, cage.

"Yes! Last hope for Krogan. If she dies, genophage cure… problematic."

They reached the darkened glass boke. Within, Elaine could see a form that looked vaguely Krogan-shaped. The hump looked more in line with the head, whereas the males had humps that went far taller than theirs. All she could make out of the face were the eyes, the rest was covered in fabric, almost religious-looking in its appearance of fine (if slightly dirtied) material with intricate embroidered patterns and symbols. The female had her arms restrained in huge clamps on either side of her, and she stared out at the lab with silent, seething resentment.

Elaine felt her feet be compelled to bring her forward towards the glass. She felt revolted to look upon this pitiful creature. Memories threatened to overlap the real world. This was her, she realised. Forced to withstand unbearable cruelty, taken from all she'd known, held prisoner amongst strangers who belittled her… this Krogan had suffered the same hardships she had. The Warden felt a surge of pity awaken inside of her. A glimmer of her old paragon self began to flicker back to life.

"Elaine, be careful." She could hear Shepard say behind her.

The female Krogan stared out beyond the confines of her prison, into Elaine's own eyes. There was a moment of silence, before a guttural voice quietly asked: "Are you here to kill me?"

"That would serve no tactical purpose." Snipped Javik.

The Warden shot him a glare over her shoulder. "No. We're not," she said to the female.

"Then what do you want?"

She paused, glancing to the ground as the words left her lips on a near whisper. "No one should have to suffer this indignity. I'm taking you home."

The female seemed to consider her a little. "Home?"

"That's right." Said Shepard as he stepped up beside Elaine. "Urdnot Wrex and I are here to make sure you get off this planet safely."

"Why?" the female asked, her tone and her gaze hard again as she stared upon the commander with mistrust. "What am I to you?"

"You're the future of the Krogan race. I'm fighting for that."

Suddenly, lights flared red, and an alarm screeched repeatedly overhead. Elaine tensed, reaching for her sword on instinct. Garrus took a step closer to her, almost as if it were instinctive of him to protect her in his shadow. Javik just watched the pandemonium that erupted around him with distaste. The Salarian scientists began to hurry around as they tried to figure out what was going on. The air grew thick with mounting panic.

But the female in her restraints just sighed tiredly. "Then I hope you brought an army."

 _"_ _Alert! Unidentified vessel has breached the perimeter!"_ said a desensitised robotic voice.

Shepard turned to the nearest Salarian on a console. "What's happening?!"

"We have multiple ships inbound," the Salarian stuttered. "Outside communications have been severed. We're cut off!"

Elaine paced like a wolf in a cage. Her fingers itched to reach for her sword. It felt wrong to wait down here, trapped like rats. In her agitation, she noticed first the Commander's omnitool blinking a light to signal an incoming message. When he called it up, the face of his Krogan friend greeted him. " _Shepard, it's Wrex. Cerberus troops are attacking the base. Get the females out of there now!"_

The Warden's every cell stiffened. At first she was like ice, until the shock wore off and fire exploded into each of her veins. A battle was being fought inside her heart, made up of equal parts fear and rage. A primal part of her came to the fore, she was convinced her nightmares had become a reality. The cutters were here, they were going to drag her back to her cell! Her fight-or-flight response demanded she seek out her enemy and slaughter them. She refused to let them near her, she'd kill them all! And then there was the vow she'd sworn to herself. For their crimes, she would kill every Cerberus soldier she came across; kill them all until she had the heads of Kei Leng and the Illusive Man on spikes. And now here was her chance!

But she'd tried to fight before – when they'd first taken her. What if they still overpowered her? _No!_ She told herself. She had her sword now. They would not have her!

A hand touched her arm. Elaine flinched away, startled. The knuckles of her sword-hand turned white. But it was only Garrus. Though he tried to school his expression, Elaine still saw the brief moment of hurt that flittered across his face because she had recoiled from him. He'd seen her agitation and had tried to offer comfort, and this was how she repaid him? Loathing turned her stomach.

 _"_ _If you want this alliance,"_ she could now hear Wrex demand, _"get the female out of there!"_

Shepard terminated the call and rounded back on the Salarian at the console. "Release the female. We're leaving."

He shook his head, shivering from head to foot. "I can't. Protocol states that during lockdown, all specimens must–"

A shock of eletricty shot into his back as Mordin fired it from his omnitool. Even as his underling writhed in pain, Mordin calmly and coolly stated: "Objection noted. Now, please release Krogan."

Gulping loudly, he did as he was told. Machines whirred and the Krogan female's cage was physically moved in order to align with an elevator shaft.

"Need to monitor pod as it clears Quarantine procedures." Mordin said as a door in the cage opened and he stepped inside. "Meet us at next checkpoint Shepard. Likely Cerberus opposes Genophage cure."

With Mordin ascending up to the higher levels, Shepard collected his team and led them back towards the elevator. A bunch of Salarians were already gathered around it, puzzling over why it wouldn't let them open it. Elaine felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Something wasn't right. And as the doors suddenly opened, they all spotted a beeping little box on the floor.

"Oh crap!" Garrus cursed.

Shepard turned and roared. "Get back–!"

Elaine just had enough time to through herself behind a desk before an explosion rocked the labs behind her. Heat seared her side as she squeezed her eyes shut. Smoke made her cough. When the ringing in her ears finally began to dim, she slowly crawled back out. Quickly glancing around, she noted that two Salarians lay motionless amidst the rubble that used to be the elevator. Everyone else had gotten clear, with minimal injuries.

The Commander had an expression like thunder as he gathered his team again and followed another Salarian towards the opposite end of the labs where a maintenance ladder led up to the level above. As they climbed up, Elaine could begin to hear the fighting of gunshots and the cacophony of flying engines outside.

" _Shepard, it's Wrex!"_ suddenly came a voice in the comm. pieces. _"I took the shuttle. Do whatever it takes to get the female up to the landing pad! I'll try to make like miserable for Cerberus."_

A set of doors opened for them, and they were brought out to the outside world, albeit much lower in the base than where they needed to be. From the balcony view, Elaine spotted two shuttles soar past them, each proudly emblazoned with Cerberus' crest on the side. Her blood boiled at the sight of them. All around, the landscape of Sur'Kesh that she had admired not even an hour earlier was smoking from fires and crumbling from shuttle fire.

Garrus noticed too as he gazed out where she did. "This looks worse than I thought."

There was a slight off buzzing that Elaine could feel stirring in the back of her skull. It confused her for a second. What–

 _BANG!_ A shot whizzed past their heads and cracked into the wall behind them. Immediately, four of them, ducked into cover. Elaine peeked out from the side to spot a group of Cerberus troops in bulky armour up ahead. Just the sight of them, how proudly they wore that symbol, what they represented, had her grit her teeth in seething fury. The main way through the balcony was covered by enemy gunfire. But there was a way to get to them through the offices.

Without a thought for the others, she vaulted herself over their cover and dove down behind a desk on the other side. She heard Shepard call out her name, heard Garrus shout for her, but she ignored them both. Shield held high to cover her head, she allowed the runes in her armour to help her avoid whatever stray bullets got too close when she was out of cover. Running at the Cerberus troops, she heard one of them shout an alarm as he aimed for her.

Even though it had been six months since she'd fought in a real battle, it were as if she'd never been parted from her favoured weapons. With all the fury she possessed behind her, she swung her shield up at the first trooper, angled just right so that the edge cut into his neck just as the force of the blow snapped his head to the side. Grabbing hold of the man's collar as he fell, with a grunt, she swung him around and threw him into the second. The third tried to beat at her with a baton which sparked electricity. Elaine easily side-stepped the swing, and in the same movement unsheathed her sword and brought it down to sever the man's arm at the elbow. He fell to the floor, writhing and screaming, and she enjoyed it for a moment. Let him feel it. When she'd finally had enough of savouring his pathetic wailing, she stamped on his head, crushing it.

An explosion of green went off behind her. She turned in time to see the last Cerberus soldier lifted into the air before he was smashed to the ground like a child were thrashing around a toy. The soldier died instantly. Boots clattered on the floor, and she spun, tensed, only to find it was Shepard and the others. Javik had green energy slithering along the flesh of his hands, much in the same way as biotics. _Odd_ , she thought.

"What the Hell was that?" Shepard demanded as he came up to her. "You didn't wait for my orders, you didn't wait for backup to cover you–"

"Cerberus needs to die. Waiting for you would've taken too long." Was her curt retort. Let him have a tantrum, of course he wouldn't understand why this was so important.

Garrus' mandibles were clicking against his face with growing frustration. "Elaine, we need to–"

"We need to keep moving." Seeing that her bluntness was only hurting them, she deflated a little. "I'm fine. I promise. I'll… I'll be more careful."

Shepard seemed to accept that. Garrus didn't look so convinced. They carried on. Up another level through more offices and labs. Cerberus flew in their soldiers from shuttles, allowing them to drop in and delay them from getting up to the landing pad. Elaine attempted to control herself enough to at least listen to Shepard's orders before going off to do her own thing. To her, nothing mattered so much as seeing these Cerberus bastards die. Each time she grew close to them, her blood hummed. Each time, she chalked it up to a sixth sense of knowing her hated enemy was near. Her vow to kill them all had taken on a life of its own, perhaps, a mind over matter thing.

As they came around the corner to reach the final staircase that would lead them up, a Cerberus soldier dressed in black and silver set up a turret. The rapid shot of heavy machine fire forced the group to dive for cover, barely missing the deadly rain. Garrus grunted, "Cerberus isn't fooling around."

"The endeavour cycle always marks the beginning of chaos." Spat Javik.

Off to their left, Shepard noticed the pod-elevator with Mordin and the female inside heading upwards. He quickly spoke into his earpiece. "Wrex! Female's on her way up to the landing area."

 _"_ _You pull this off, I'm making you an honorary Krogan!"_

Under Shepard's direction, Javik suspended the Engineer whilst Garrus took him out with a head-shot. With him gone, Shepard hurriedly fired a grenade to blow-up the turret. Elaine sat behind them all, fists clenching with resentment that she'd been left out of the killing. But there was no time to complain, as Shepard was quickly jogging up the stairs to the landing pad. Cerberus awaited them. This time, Elaine didn't wait for orders of any description. She barrelled into the fray, taking out Cerberus soldiers as quickly yet brutally as possible. They needed to suffer for their crimes.

Yet even in her bloodrage, she knew her objective. As she killed the troops attempting to stop them from getting to Mordin and the female, there was a sound in her ears like glass breaking. There was a moment where she felt exposed, right before a stinging pain exploded in her left shoulder. She stumbled and looked down. A bullet had managed to slip past her wards. It was only a graze of a lucky shot that managed to find a gap in her armour. Letting the pain fuel her, Elaine ignited her Berserker rage, turning on her heel to find the unlucky bastard who had shot her. There he was. She charged him, slamming into him with all the strength she could. Pinning him against a wall, she smashed the hilt of her sword repeatedly into his helmet. First the helmet shattered, then his cheek, then his teeth flew out of his mouth. When blood and gore splattered her face, she ended it with a swift decapitation.

Staggering back a step, half drunk from the adrenaline of battle, she looked around and found the other Cerberus soldiers were dead. She refrained from wiping her face – her gauntlets were just as filthy. A shadow fell across her, and she glanced up to find Garrus there beside her, piercing eyes raking over her body. Of course, he noticed her scratch.

"You let your shields get too low," he muttered as he lifted his omnitool to her shoulder giving her a small amount of medigel to clot the bloodflow.

"Will they come ba–" she was cut off by a flash of purple, as her shields recharged back to life.

"Mordin," they heard Shepard say as he made his way over to the pod. "You doing okay?"

"Pod structure intact. Fortunate." Replied the Salarian. "Hope Wrex still around for extraction."

"Wrex can't keep his hands off a fertile female." Muttered the deep voice of the imprisoned Krogan. "He'll be here."

"You got any idea what Cerberus is doing here, Mordin?" Shepard asked.

"Females existence kept secret. Could be a mole in STG. Possibly indoctrinated. If no Krogan alliance with Turians, Reapers left unchallenged."

The Commander's jaw set. "We'll do more than challenge them."

"Shepard, you must authorise release." Said Mordin, pointing to the console beside the human. "Pop in transfers to loading area."

 _"_ _Shepard,"_ Wrex suddenly shouted in their earpieces, making Elaine wince. _"Heads up! You've got ATLAS incoming!"_

Garrus grabbed Elaine by the shoulders and threw the pair of them away just two seconds before the ground where they had stood exploded. Elaine coughed on the churned-up gravel and dirt and cement-dust that flew into the air and clouded her vision. The ground shook from a giant footstep; she and Garrus slowly climbed to their feet, attempting to see through the haze at their opponent.

A huge robotic machine stood in the centre of the plaza, like a mech that Elaine could remember fighting with Shepard on several occasions before. Stood on two legs, one arm was a rapid-fire-gun, the other had a missile ready for launch. In the centre was an orange glass box, inside of which Elaine could make out a man within operating the metal creature. The ATLAS (as Wrex had called it) pointed its rocket in Shepard's location. Shepard ran, the ATLAS followed his movements and fired. It missed by a hair's breadth as the Commander dove out of the way. The explosion it caused was enough to make Elaine's ears ring.

"Wrex can't land with that thing here!" Garrus shouted so the others might hear him.

"Take out it's shields!" Elaine commanded, readying herself to run. "Give me cover to get in close!"

Javik wasted no time in following the order, launching a strange grenade that exploded with green-biotic energy. Elaine didn't wait to hear for either Garrus or Shepard warning her back. She ran around the perimeter of the plaza in order to help avoid detection as well as get into position. Eventually, she spotted Garrus launching concussive rounds and overload blasts at the ATLAS to take out its shields. Shepard joined him with powerful hits from every weapon he had. There was a flicker of light around the monstrous construction, and Elaine took that to mean that its shields had faltered.

On that signal, Elaine ran for the ATLAS, pulling her shield off her arm simultaneously. Jumping onto a bench to use as elevation, Elaine launched herself into the air. Having seen her, the ATLAS attempted to turn to face her oncoming attack. With a twist of her hips, the Warden flung her shield at it like a frisbee. The shield spun, sailing through the air straight towards the glass cockpit. The shield hit, penetrating the glass, and smashing it open. The pilot of the ATLAS was left exposed. Unfortunately, so was Elaine. Before she could go through with the second part of her plan, the ATLAS brought up its missile arm, and swung it at her. It smashed into her side and sent her crashing to the ground.

She lay there, blacking out briefly as the world spun and all she could hear was white noise. Her head was aching, and the sting in her shoulder told her that scratch had reopened. There was a muffled noise in her ears, it was hard to focus. The ground vibrated beneath her from large footsteps. She had to force herself to concentrate before the world came into focus and sound returned.

 _"_ _Elaine!"_ shouted Garrus in her comm. _"You okay?!"_

"I'm fine," she groaned as she slowly sat up.

 _"_ _Your shields went out with that hit,"_ he explained. _"I saw it from here. You need to take a moment–"_

Her fingers closed around her sword. "I said I'm fine."

On her feet, the world tilted dizzily. Gritting her teeth, she forced it into submission. Jogging was at first painful – she'd landed wrong on her hips. But pushing her legs to work, ignoring bodily pain, she ran for the bulky form of the ATLAS that had turned away from her in disregard. She heard her team shouting at her, demanding to know what she was thinking. She ignored them.

At the last moment, she shouted. "Hey! Nug-for-brains!"

The ATLAS turned at her exclamation. Elaine slipped past the arms, already too close to be stopped, jumped, sword ahead, and plunged the blade right through the pilot's chest. Both he and the ATLAS froze. The pilot convulsed, gasping as his life was taken from him. Then, he slowly grew still, at the large mech he controlled went limp with him. Finally allowing herself a moment to take a breath, Elaine sagged, slipping down to the ground.

Not long after, she heard the shuttle touch down. Wrex strutted out of it, and immediately went to help his prized female out of the pod. Mordin had wanted to help her down gently, only to be elbowed out of the way by Wrex. When he held out his hand for the female to take, she coldly glanced at him, before walking straight past him.

Boots on the stairs. Elaine glanced over her shoulder, and tensed as she saw two more Cerberus troops running for them. Before anyone could act, the female snatched Wrex's shotgun, and gunned the pair of them down with two precise shots. With a smirk in her voice, she said "I can handle myself, Wrex."

One of the Cerberus troops didn't die instantly from the shot. He lay there, coughing and clinging to life, even as he struggled in a growing pool of his own blood. Shepard slowly approached him, scowling down at the enemy. "Why is Cerberus here? What do you want?"

Before the soldier could answer, a sword punctured through his throat and ended his miserable existence. Shepard glanced up, to see Elaine gazing down at him coldly. "It doesn't matter what they want. All that matters is they die."

* * *

Hours later, back aboard the Normandy and Elaine had been cleared by Chakwas. The Dr had been most unimpressed to find that she'd already given herself a nasty scratch, bruised hips and a light concussion. But the good woman was able to work her miracles, even if Elaine had to try and mentally transport herself somewhere else just to allow the Dr to work. But now, she had another to visit. With the song of battle and the hate now clearing from her system for now, her mind was able to think a little clearer. She was aware that her actions, although justified in her opinion, could be considered rash and unsafe. And she knew she had been unkind in her attitude. Garrus needed an explanation from her at the very least.

When she entered the Battery, she almost had to shiver. The air felt unbearably cold, the room seemed unnecessarily dark, with only the terminals lighting up the form of the Turian. He had his back to her as he worked at his console. He did not turn around to acknowledge her presence. Elaine felt her stomach turn to ice with dread.

"Garrus?" she ventured. "I need to talk–"

"I've got nothing to say to you." Came his cold reply. He didn't even turn around.

She flinched. She had been expecting a fight from him, obviously. Shouting, frustration, concern, that had been what she was prepared for. But this? "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for making you worry."

" _Worry?_ "

"I had to kill them. I won't apologise for that."

He turned his head so that he could regard her scathingly out of the corner of his eye. "Don't even bother. If you'd rather throw your life away, then I guess there's not much point in me trying to be part of it, is there?"

"You honestly think _that_ would kill me? After everything I've been through?" she asked, a little incredulous.

"Usually, you fight carefully, Elaine. Precise." He said. "Not today. Today you rushed into everything, without any care at all for what happened to you. It was sloppy. Like you didn't care if you lived or not. And I... I need time to think about that."

His dismissal left her in stunned silence. His hurt at her actions was laid bare to her, and his rejection of her hurt just as forcefully as any wound she'd received. Guilt swarmed in her chest, making her ache. He was right, she had been trying to throw her life away. In the moment, it felt as if she needed to destroy Cerberus or die trying. There was no alternative. And of course, he would be hurt by that. She was unworthy of him, that much was clear, even to him. Yet to think of him abandoning her now… she wanted to curl up on the floor and die from the sudden weight of being alone in this cruel and unfamiliar galaxy.

When she walked out, the door closed behind her with a slam of finality. A tear slipped past her lashes. Her hand reached out for the pods on the wall to try and help support herself. She wanted to breakdown, to cry. She'd lost him, and it hurt _so much!_ It took every ounce of her self-control not to devolve into a blubbering mess on the floor.

A shadow fell over her. Elaine glanced up and saw the shrouded Krogan female standing above her. She gazed down upon the human with bright amber eyes. "Warden Cousland, or so I'm told."

Realising the state she must appear to be, Elaine hurriedly tried to stand straight, quickly wiping at her cheeks to ensure no tears. "I-I'm sorry, I'll get out of your way–"

"Nonsense, child." The female interrupted softly yet commandingly. "I am a Shaman to the female clan. I know when I see a soul quietly suffering."

Elaine felt her shoulders tighten. No, not another one. Surely she couldn't be this easy to read? Clearing her throat, she tried for an air of normalcy, to pretend she didn't hear that. "A Shaman? I didn't think there were female Shamans."

"Wisdom comes from pain – and the Genophage has made us very wise. Wise enough to know when someone is evading." Her head tilted, and the female regarded her a moment, before quietly admitting, "Mordin told me what Cerberus did to you."

Elaine felt anger spark to life inside her. Her jaw clenched. He had no right! That wasn't his story to tell, what if the whole crew now knew, and they were all watching her, judging her? "Did he…"

"Do not blame him. I needed to know. I wanted a way to thank my rescuers. I didn't think the Krogan had any allies left in the galaxy. And yet here you are."

"I needed to help you."

"Even if it meant facing down Cerberus? After what they did?"

Her icy eyes met the Krogan's fiery ones, burning bright with her simmering fury. "For what they did – and everything else – they need to die."

"No, child." The female murmured in a voice as soft and soothing as a mother, even when it came from a creature so powerful and a voice so deep. "Needless violence and vengeance is a construction of the males. Seeking targets to justify their own existence, excuses to earn them 'honour'."

"So what, I should just let them get away with it?" Elaine snapped.

"It is better than allowing this never-ending pit of hatred and despair to consume you. Trust me, little-one. There is nothing good that can come of this. Sooner or later, it will betray you to become the very thing you fear."

Wrong, a part of Elaine whispered. It was so easy for others on the outside to say these platitudes when they were not the ones suffering every day from the injustice of it all. Why couldn't everyone leave her with her hate, accept that she needed this to move on with her life? But then… what if she was right, another part of her said. Look at what all of this was doing to her, it had already cost her Garrus. What more would this vicious cycle take from her?

The female studied Elaine, as if she could see the turmoil in her mind. Carefully, she asked: "Do you know how the Krogan initiate their Shamans, child?"

"No."

"You're locked in a cave for seven days with just enough food to last. On the eighth, you'll starve."

"And what does that prove?"

"Your resolve." Explained the female. "Every acolyte is given a chance: you either claw your way out through the rock with your bare hands, or you die."

Elaine couldn't imagine it, trapped underground, no way out, clawing for breath. "How did you get out?"

"I started digging the wrong way. I was in complete darkness. Nothing other than my own heartbeat to sustain me. And I found this…" from a pocket in her robes, the female pulled out a shard. It was chipped and scratched in places, but the way that it reflected the light was none the less beautiful. "A simple crystal. But it became my chisel. Take it as a reminder. In the darkest hour, there is always a way out."

"Thank you…" Elaine murmured as she slowly took the large crystal in her hands. Coming from the Shaman, it felt like a Holy object, to think it saved her from such a horrible fate. And then something occurred to her. She was thanking this woman yet didn't even know who to thank! Her cheeks burned with embarrassment. "Sorry, I don't even know your name."

"I surrendered it the day I became a Shaman to the female clan. I belong to my sisters now. But perhaps one day, when this is over, you can know it." There was a warm smile in her voice. "But if you have need of a name… Mordin has taken to calling me 'Eve', temporarily. You may use that, if you wish."

"Eve… thank you." She murmured. And then, to return the favour this stranger had bestowed on her by trying to dispel the war within her soul, she felt compelled to ask, "How are you handling all this? Just a short time ago you were simply a Shaman to your clan. Now the entire future of your species rests on your shoulders. That must be hard."

"The curse I have had to endure my entire life has finally been lifted. And now, there is a chance – a _real_ chance – that the children of Tuchanka will one day live again. How do I feel? Free. Whatever burden I must bear, I will gladly carry it if it means a future for my people."

"I know that pain," she murmured without thinking. When Eve gave her a quizzical look, Elaine regretted her insensitive slip-up and murmured, "I am Grey Warden. I know that won't mean much to you. But one of the side effects… I'm infertile."

"Then you are truly a sister. It saddens me to think there are others who share this pain." Eve reached out to touch Elaine's shoulder in a gesture of comradery. Elaine felt comforted by the action. Eve reminded her of her own mother in a lot of ways, a loving voice, filled with compassion and wisdom, yet in the same breath she exhibited a fierce protective aura to those she deemed her own. "I knew sisters who couldn't bear the shame of being infertile. They would wander off into the wastelands, hoping a Thresher Maw would kill them and end their torment."

A dreadful question lingered in Elaine's mind, and though she didn't want to consider it, she still had to ask "Did… Did you ever consider it?"

Eve looked down at the floor. When she spoke, her voice was quiet, hollow, laced with pain. "Yes… After my first stillborn…"

"What stopped you?"

"When my child didn't draw breath, that's when my life truly began. The Genophage forces us to live on hope alone. There is nothing else. There is no reason to exist other than the hope that the next day will bring change. And if it doesn't, there is always the next."

Such a life, no wonder the Krogan were nothing more than wandering killers for hire. What else was there to life when home offered nothing but despair? "So then, how did you become part of Maelon's experiments?"

"The other females and I volunteered. We heard Maelon was trying to cure the Genophage for clan Weyrloc."

"What? But I went there!" Elaine blanched. "It was a torture chamber. No one should have volunteered for that."

"We learned that too late," Eve sighed. "Maelon meant well, but his experiments grew more barbaric as he went. We finally escaped into the rubble. Eventually, a Salarian team found us. They saved our lives, we were so sick."

Images of bodies in cages covered by cloths came to mind. "I'm sorry the others didn't make it."

"I know. The youngest, Kurn, was the last to go. But she knew she would enter the Void free of this curse – and then smile when she looked down upon the children of Tuchanka. Her spirit will be the midwife to my firstborn."

It was a lovely image to imagine. Yet Elaine noticed that as she talked, Eve never once spoke with resentment or regret for the torture she had endured. "Would you go to Maelon again?"

"Absolutely. Remember, dear child, it only takes one candle to light a fire. And then the darkness is no more."

* * *

 _She was dragged, bound and chained, into the throne-room of Denerim Palace. On either side of her, she could hear the jeering, the slander, the outrage of the courtiers in their seats on either side of her. Her feet faltered. The guards who had hold of her chain jerked on it, dragging her along the unforgiving cold hard stone. She tasted blood, the skin around her wrists were raw from constant rubbing against her shackles._

 _"_ _Elaine Cousland!" shouted a voice, one she remembered all too well. She was half thrown onto her knees before the steps that would lead to the throne. Anora sat with a pretty crown on her head, back straight and face pinched into a permanent frown of distaste. In front of her, stood her father, Loghain. He glared down at her as he continued loudly to be heard above the crowd. "Formerly of Highever, and formerly of the Grey Wardens; she comes before the crown to answer for the crime of treason!"_

 _Treason? Elaine echoed silently. What had she ever done that was treasonous? She fought for the sake of Ferelden, nothing she ever did was treason!_

 _"_ _Warden Cousland, you stand accused of abandoning the field at Ostagar –"_

 _"_ _We were overwhelmed at the tower!" she tried to defend herself. No one listened._

 _"_ _You disobeyed orders of the regent –"_

 _"_ _You were not worthy to be king!"_

 _"_ _You incited a civil war and tore our country apart –"_

 _"_ _We needed an army to fight the Darkspawn!"_

 _"_ _Which brings me to the final crime," Loghain murmured darkly. "Not only did you fail to slay the Archdemon, you allowed the Darkspawn corruption to spread beyond our world! The taint is corrupting the stars and it is all your fault!"_

 _Elaine's insides quaked. She shook her head. "N-no! That's not my fault! I tried – I defeated the Collectors!"_

 _"_ _What would the Landsmeet decide should be a fitting punishment for the prisoner?" Loghain asked the room._

 _Immediately the shouting intensified. She heard cries of: "Take her head!" and "Kill the bitch!"_

 _She tried to shout over them, try to tell them that she had tried her best, she had fought for all of them. But no one would listen. In the end, the guards grabbed her around the arms and dragged her away, kicking and screaming. Through the streets of Denerim, crowds gathered and shouted profanities as she was pushed and thrown and dragged down the streets. Finally, she was inside the doors of Fort Drakon. Here, she really fought. She had stayed here before, it had been a waking nightmare then – she refused to go back now!_

 _As the doors opened, she screamed anew as she realised Cerberus had taken over Fort Drakon. The stone corridors and vast halls had been turned white, the doctors now the new torturers. Elaine screamed, she screamed and screamed, until finally she was thrown into dirty prison cell. One that looked strikingly similar to her cell on the Cerberus station. She was back here. Taken over by despair, she curled up into a ball, and wept._

 _"_ _Elaine…" whispered a voice._

 _She glanced up and nearly ran to the cell door, reaching through the bars as tears of relief swept down her face. "Mother! Father!"_

 _Bryce and Eleanor Cousland stood before her. But they did not appear happy to see her, instead they looked… miserable. "How could you?" her mother whispered, eyes glistening._

 _"_ _What?" Elaine hiccupped. "What else have I done?"_

 _"_ _We raised you to be a noble warrior," her father said, seeming to have aged ten years since she'd seen him last. "We taught you to be fair, to be just, to treat others with decency and respect. I thought I had raised you to be a good woman. Yet now look at you? You fight with cruelty and anger instead of honour and courage. You tear down your allies instead of standing by them. All you choose is hate and death."_

 _"_ _But Father!" she pleaded. "You don't know what they did to me!"_

 _"_ _All I know is that you are no daughter of mine."_

Elaine bolted upright in bed, tears already soaking her cheeks, her voice already hoarse from sobbing in her sleep. Slowly, she looked around the empty room, as if she could find the phantoms still with her, haunting her. But they were gone. That should've brought some relief, and yet their words echoed around inside Elaine's skull all the same.

Pulling the thin blanket of her bed up, she buried her face in it, wetting it with her tears. In the silence of her room, she allowed herself to weep.

* * *

 **A/N: I loved writing Eve in this chapter, and I didn't actually intend for her to come out so motherly - she just did!**

 **Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Don't worry, Elaine's mental state is coming to a head VERY soon. I hope you're excited for it.**

 **Please review - I LIVE for your feedback!**


	8. The Breaking

"Okay people, listen up." Shepard proclaimed loudly as the shuttle descended through the atmosphere. Elaine's hand tightened on the railing above her to be sure she wouldn't wobble as the vessel jerked about. "Benning has requested our immediate aid. They're under attack and their citizens are getting abducted. We're here to put a stop to it and give the civilians enough time to evacuate."

"Who's behind this?" The muscle-clad soldier, Vega, asked.

Shepard's eyes flickered to Elaine momentarily. "Cerberus."

Elaine had suspected, but still prepared herself so as to not show any outward emotion. Shepard was watching her, wondering if it had been wise to bring her on this mission. She needed to at least give the illusion of being in control, even when her blood was boiling in her veins at the prospect of killing her sworn enemy.

The image of her parents faces flashed before her eyes. She sucked in a quiet breath as her heart ached. Her dream from the night before last still haunted her waking moments. Even though they were dead, she still attempted to appease her beloved parents, tried to let go of the hate and anger. But it was so hard to do so when she was reminded constantly of what they'd done to her, and how she had been made lesser because of them.

The shuttle swooped in low over a city that looked far too crowded by just its buildings. Houses were stacked on top of each other, the streets narrow and twisting, it reminded Elaine of the Elven Alienage in Denerim. The shuttle hovered close to a roof just long enough for Shepard, Elaine and Vega to jump down, before the Commander ordered it to attempt to keep Cerberus shuttles busy until they were ready for pick up. Shepard then led them down a ladder to the city streets, and the difference was staggering. The rooftop had felt open, even isolating, but down here there were too many people running about, screaming, trying to find a way to escape to the rescue points. It was chaos, and Elaine had to shove her way through throngs of people in order to keep up with Shepard and Vega.

Through his ear-piece, Shepard was directed by the Alliance ships working to evacuate the citizens on where to help funnel the panicked civilians. Elaine was the first one to notice when their enemy arrived. It was a tingling in the back of her skull, a familiar yet alien sensation crawling through her bloodstream, a distant sound she could just about hear at the fringes of her mind. She frowned, confused, as a moment later Cerberus troops rounded the corner. Had they done something to her when she was captured, and now she could sense them? It didn't make any sense otherwise!

A bullet missed her head by inches. Pushing aside the troubling thoughts, Elaine pushed herself into the fight. Whilst Vega and Shepard covered her, Elaine ran into the throng of Cerberus soldiers, positioning herself right in their centre. Whilst her companions picked off the troops at the side and made their way inwards, Elaine spun and slashed out from the middle. She caused mass confusion amongst the ranks and cut them down because of it. One Cerberus troop tried to come at her with a melee hit of an electrical baton. Perhaps he thought to stagger her at least, but all it did was piss her off. As the baton struck her armour and made not even a dent, Elaine cut off his offending hand with one swift upward stroke of her sword, and then cut down into his neck on the downward swipe.

The small group of Cerberus soon laid dead, and Elaine couldn't help the impatience beginning to creep into her. The enemy was supposed to be littering these streets, this was a chance for her to let loose her anger on them, and they weren't even giving her a real fight! Spitting upon their disappointing bodies, she jogged back to Shepard and Vega as the two moved on to the next area.

As they moved, she noticed Vega appraising her out of the corner of her eye. " _Impresionante_ , Lola. That's some good armour!"

His grin confused her. She glanced down at the Blood-Dragon Armour she wore, the runes pulsating ever-so-slightly at the collar. "Are you referring to me?"

"Some women I've worked with like to wear ornamental crap with tits hammered on." He said, which only confused Elaine more as to the direction of this conversation. "One good shot and all that cleavage gets knocked right into the sternum. Real messy, ya know? Good on you for going practical."

"I aim to please," she muttered.

He grinned again and dared to wriggle his eyebrows at her. "Leaves something to the imagination too."

She ignored him, in all truth unsure of how to respond. A small part of her was flattered, as any woman would be. But with Garrus and her still on odd terms, her love-life was already complicated enough. Besides, a larger part of her just wanted to focus on the task at hand. That buzzing was back inside her skull, and it was distracting as she tried to puzzle out what it could mean.

Over the next two hours, Shepard, Vega and Elaine ran through the city, covering civilians and slaughtering the Cerberus soldiers that dared to antagonise them. The fighting was interspersed with having to find and coax out civilians that had hidden themselves away out of fear. As the day dragged on and the sun began to set, setting the city ablaze in bright orange hues, Elaine felt the fatigue hit her. The muscles in her legs felt as if they were made of iron, her lungs were burning, one Cerberus bastard had managed to give her a small scratch above the eye and the blood kept obscuring her vision. The others weren't faring much better. Vega was seriously starting to lag behind whenever they needed to run from place to place, and even Shepard's breathing was laboured. Elaine kept herself going by keeping a firm hold of her Champion training, using it to help push away the effects on her stamina and make it look as if she was still ready for a fight.

Yet as the fight wore on, the Berserker side of Elaine seemed to awaken without her consent. So much death, the blood of Cerberus scum soaked her gauntlets, the stench of their death surrounded her like a cloud. It all fuelled a fire burning in her stomach, driving her further and further towards the point of initiating the Berserker Rage. Elaine tried to pull it in, control herself, but a part of her just _wanted_ to see these bastards suffer from what she could do to them.

It seemed like forever before Cortez finally announced in their ears: _"Upper streets are clear. Hang on, Commander!"_

"What is it, lieutenant?" Shepard asked, trying to mask his panting.

 _"_ _I'm tracking civilians leaving the city with Cerberus troops right behind."_

"Where are they?"

 _"_ _Updating your NavPoint. You can intercept them there."_

Vega, despite nearly doubled over and hanging off a railing for support, still stood straight and said "Gotta double-time it!"

 _"_ _No, wait!"_ Cortez said urgently. _"Commander, you've got another squad of Cerberus soldiers headed your way. Looks like they're packing heavy weapons – they're gonna try and destroy the last shuttles."_

Shepard made his decision and turned on Elaine. "Go save the civilians! Regroup back here as soon as you can."

"I'm already on it!" She ran ahead, following the way her omni-tool told her.

Twisting and ducking through the narrowed streets, Elaine pushed her body to try and grab another burst of adrenaline for fuel. As she ducked beneath a low-hanging walkway, that humming began again in her head. Rounding the corner, she finally found her quarry. In a small square where two alleyways met up, a small human family was huddled beneath the overhang of a house-roof. Three Cerberus troops were hemming them in, two pointing their guns at the family, the third holding what looked to be handcuffs that sizzled with electricity. The father of the family attempted to keep his wife and two children covered, holding them in his arms. From between the mother and father, the smallest child poked out its head, not even four years old, and cried loudly in fear.

Elaine grit her teeth in fury to witness the Cerberus scum advance on their prey. The Berserker rage grew to be too much and ignited inside her with explosive force. She let loose a powerful shout that had all three of the Cerberus troops turning to look at her. Battering her sword against her shield, the Warden laid out her challenge, and growled "Come get me, you bastards!"

Elaine ran towards the three soldiers at the same time they disengaged their targets and charged her. As the distance closed, Elaine relished in the thought that maybe now she could allow herself to let loose and give her enemies everything she had. There was no Shepard here to hurry her along, no one to watch her and judge her for indulging in her hate.

The first troop tried to shoot at her with his fast-firing gun. The Warden ducked low to avoid the fire and then pushed up into his chest with her shield. He was thrown back from the force, landing heavily in the dirt. Spinning on her heel, Elaine slashed diagonally upwards, catching the second soldier's gun and allowing Starfang to cleave the modern weapon cleanly in two. Her leg lashed out and kicked the soldier square in the chest. She turned to face the third –

A fist smashed into her cheek with enough force to make her teeth rattle. White flashed before her eyes momentarily. She stumbled, the world spun. Arms wrapped around hers, pinning her hands to her sides, her grip loosening on her sword enough to drop it. The feeling of entrapment brought her head back to the present with a crash. Eyes darting, wide and alarmed, she saw the enemy had her pinned. The second and third coming towards her.

"You're coming with us!" hissed her captor in her ear.

Flashes of memory were brought to the forefront of her mind; of the cutter's room, her cell, the doctors tying her down, Kai Leng pressing her into a wall. Panic to avoid that fate, the need to survive, it took hold of her body and made her act without thought. Pushing her weight into her captor, she pulled her legs up and kicked out into the second and third soldier. One of them she caught under the chin, hard enough that she heard his helmet crack and splinter apart. The force was enough to overbalance her captor and send them both falling to the ground.

She heard the guttural gasp as her captor was winded, his grip loosening enough for her to work her way free. Pulling him up by his collar, she punched down on his face as he had down to her. It was satisfying to see his helmet-front snap cleanly off from the impact –

Elaine froze and stared.

There was no human inside the armour. It had a vague human-like head, but that was all. Pale-blue wires worked their way under the skin and around the eyes much like husks. It was the rest that disturbed her so. The flesh was brown and blotching as if from bruising, festering at the edges as if in the process of rotting. The teeth looked as if they were decaying yet simultaneously growing into sharp points. The veins beneath the thin skin were dark in contrast, as if the blood itself had tuned black. The stench of death and corruption hung around the monstrous face.

As if to be sure her fragile mind was not playing tricks on her, Elaine turned to the second soldier, the one who's mask she had kicked off. Her stomach clenched to see the exact same face on him as well. Slowly, the pieces began to fall into place inside her head. The strange buzz in her blood whenever they were near, it had seemed so familiar because it was. These Cerberus men had taken into themselves the Darkspawn taint. It felt so different, even from the strain of corruption the Collectors had had. Perhaps the husk-like look of them meant this version had something altered to it?

For the past six months, Cerberus had been taking bits and pieces of her, interrogating her to try and understand how the taint worked, how to become Grey Wardens, how to help create 'better versions' of humanity. It had all seemed like random nonsense before, but no more. Now she knew. They'd been taking the corruption from her, torturing her to get it, and putting it into their own soldiers to try and make their own Wardens. But these were no wardens, they were more akin to ghouls or tainted monsters.

They'd taken her body, her sanity, and now they sought to take away her very identity. Absolute fury, unlike anything that had come before, coursed through her veins, setting her on fire from the inside out. Her fists trembled, her breath hissed through gritted teeth. They had brought evil into the world, were spreading it with them wherever they went. The evil she had sworn to eradicate. And now they would pay!

A scream tore from her lips. She punched down onto the soldier beneath her, shield point down, and used it to smash his head open like an egg. Scrambling, she snatched up her sword and charged at the second soldier. He screeched and ducked beneath her first swing. Starfang squealed as it bit into stone with a shower of sparks, carving a deep gouge through the bricks. She went after him, swinging her sword from left to right, making the soldier scuttle along the ground like the rat he was, unable to get up.

"Stop it! Or I'll shoot them!" shouted a voice. Elaine ignored him, disinterested in who the voice belonged to or what he was talking about. All she could see was this soldier's Darkspawn-like face and knew she had to kill it.

Launching out with her foot, she kicked the soldier in the diaphragm, making his head roll back as he tried to suck in the air forced out of him. Blood spurted from his mouth. Reaching down, Elaine grabbed hold of the man and pulled him up to his feet. He fought against her weakly, and managed only to knock her hands off. Stumbling a little, he pulled out a pistol and shakily pointed it in her general direction. The shot was diverted by her runes, and the Warden retaliated by slashing her sword in a backhanded stroke that cut off the guy's arm at the elbow. There was a moment of silence. The solider opened his mouth to scream, but Elaine thrust her sword through his face, obliterating it so it could no longer offend her.

 _BANG!_

If the shot was meant for her, it went wide. All it did was bring her attention to the final soldier. Realising his mistake, gun still smoking, he froze. Elaine drew back her arm over her head, and channelling her Berserker, pushed all her remaining stamina into a Final Blow. She threw her sword with all the strength she possessed. It spun through the air, and slammed into the final soldier, piercing through his armour and embedded him to the wall right behind him. His feet trembled as a wet gurgle sounded from his helmet. Blood pooled onto the floor, until he moved no more.

Elaine stood there, sides heaving, arms shaking, hair blowing about wildly in her face. The stench of ashes and death filled her lungs. She breathed deeply. The moment of victory in battle was allowed to wash through her for a single moment. And then, she became aware of a noise. Crying. Sobbing. Wailing. She was confused. Who was here to make such sounds?

She glanced to her side, and noticed a family huddling under an overhang. It took her a second to remember: the civilians she was sent to rescue. They were still here? The father was holding onto his eldest child, pushing the girl's head into his shoulder as if to shield her eyes, his own screwed shut as his shoulders shook. The mother was weeping uncontrollably, pressing something to her chest. Blood soaked her shirt-front and slipped between her fingers. As she rocked back and forth on her knees, the thing that she held in her arms swayed. A head rolled to the side. Wide, unseeing big brown eyes stared sightlessly up at Elaine. A hole formed perfectly through the centre of his four-year-old skull.

The ground swayed beneath her feet, and Elaine found her legs would not support her anymore. She crashed to the ground on her hands and knees, stomach rolling but unable to tear her gaze away. The Cerberus soldier, she now remembered: he had called out to her, warned her, and she hadn't cared. His bullet had killed this child, and she had done nothing.

Suddenly, she was no longer seeing the dead child in his mother's arms. Instead she saw her little nephew, Oren, lying on his bedroom floor, still in his night-clothes, his throat sliced open from an assassin's blade. The two children stared at her, their blood soaking her hands, their dead eyes wide and filled with tears and questions: _why didn't you save me?_

Elaine's stomach heaved a split second before she vomited onto the ground. She gasped for breath, but every draw in of air brought to her the smell of the child's blood. She kept retching until there was nothing left for her to bring back up. Tears ran down her cheeks and tasted salty on her tongue. Her lungs ached for air between her heaving and sobbing. The very fragile tethers that had kept her mind firmly in place began to buckle one by one, and her misery and guilt eroded what little remained of her sanity. She sat, huddled in a puddle of mud and blood and her own filth, and dropped her head into her hands.

Eve had been right: an endless pit of hatred and despair was consuming her. Her parents had been right: she was lost, no longer the warrior of honour they had raised. She was a creature of Cerberus, a murderer, a _monster_.

She didn't know how or when, but at some point, she managed to retrieve her sword and dragged her feet back down the alleyways towards the spot she had last seen Shepard. The family she had saved was gone, probably to wallow in the grief that Elaine had allowed to befall them. Shepard was still there, waiting for her, ushering the last of the civilians into the shuttle. Elaine wanted nothing more then to collapse into his arms and surrender. Surrender her humanity, her sanity, her existence. But as she looked upon him, the last piece of the puzzle fit together. _He had known,_ it said. Shepard had been fighting Cerberus in this war since before he had found her, he would've seen the bodies, there was no way he couldn't have known about this atrocity committed by Cerberus. And he had chosen not to tell her.

Stalking across to him, he did not take heed of her thunderous expression, not until her fist slammed into his jaw when he turned to her. The Commander stumbled back, dazed. Vega cursed and went to catch him and set him right. The pair of them looked at her as if she had gone mad. Perhaps she had.

"You knew!" she screamed at him. "You knew they were tainted! You knew there was something wrong with them – wrong with me! Now I can't take it back and it's all your fault!" she grabbed hold of his collar, thrusting her face into his until they were nose to nose. "I wish I'd never come here! I _wish_ I'd remained dead after the Archdemon! I _wish_ you'd left me to shoot myself on that shuttle! It would've been better than this… than becoming this…"

No more words would come out. They were immediately swallowed by her fit of tears as she collapsed. Shepard caught her in his arms and held her silently as she wept into him. She clung to him with fingers like claws, as if she wanted to kill him, or as if he were her only life-line. He was silent throughout, not knowing what to say as his Grey Warden friend broke apart in front of him.

* * *

When they arrived back at the Normandy, Elaine practically ran back towards her room. She did not speak to anyone, she did not even return her arms or armour to the armoury when she disembarked from the shuttle. Still filthy from the blood and dirt of battle, she ran through the ship until she reached her room and then sealed the door shut behind her.

She couldn't face them, any of them. How could she, after all she had done? Everything was her fault. Cerberus, the taint, all this death, it was all her fault. Taking off her armour, she almost threw it away from her across the room in disgust. Practically naked in only her underclothes, she reached under her pillow for the Drell-coin that was hidden there. With it in hand, she pressed herself into the corner of the room furthest from the door. Talisman held tightly in her grasp, she sat there, rocking on the heels of her feet, and allowed her grief to consume her.

All through that night, she kept herself awake. She did not allow herself to sleep even once. All through the next day, she did not leave her room. Not to eat, not to bathe or even to relieve herself. She did not move from her spot in the corner. It was unclear, even to herself, what she wanted to do. Was she supposed to sit there until either her guilt abated or a plan for moving forward came to mind? Or was she going to continue locking herself in here until she wasted away, and then everyone would be free of the burden of her?

By the next night, it was difficult to stay awake. Her exhausted, hungry, thirsty body was begging to fail her. Yet still, she fought the downward pull of her eyes, knowing her inner demons would be back to torment her for her latest sins. Unfortunately for her, there was nothing that could be done, for it was an eventuality that would take away her choice. In the end, despite her protests and every method she could think of to keep herself awake, her eyes closed, and her mind slipped away.

 _She was surrounded by nothing but grey fog. It was so thick nothing else about the world was distinguishable. A wind blew about her, so cold, it seeped into her bones and made her shiver on the floor. The urge to move was strong, to relieve herself of this pain. But when she tried, iron shackles rattled around her ankles, freezing to the touch. An understanding bloomed inside her brain without it having to be explained to her: she was to sit and endure this. Her eternal punishment._

 _The wind blew a little stronger, carrying with it faint whispers she could barely hear. Elaine attempted to peer out through the gloom. The fog had been whipped up into a tornado wall all around her. Through it, she could just make out the shadows of bodies walking by. She strained her ears to listen for them. If she could hear them, then could they hear her?_

 _"_ _Elaine…" came a whisper. Suddenly, a sting sliced across her right knuckles. Elaine looked down, confused to see a slash in her skin._

 _"_ _Elaine, what have you done…" said another voice. The Warden grunted, flinching back as a second slash cut into her left shoulder. More voices came through the fog, their words becoming more distinguishable, and each one cutting her open._

 _"_ _Sooner or later, it will betray you to become the very thing you fear…"_

 _A diagonal split from her collarbone to the top of her left breast appeared._

 _"_ _You turned you back on your family and left us to die…"_

 _Her lip was cut open._

 _"_ _If you'd rather throw your life away, then I guess there's not much point in me trying to be part of it, is there…"_

 _A deep gash yawned wide from her mid-thigh to her knee._

 _"_ _You abandoned us. You abandoned your world. You abandoned your duty. Now we are all dead while you live on…"_

 _A cut raked up the side of her cheek and over her brow. She only just managed to save her eye by squeezing it shut at the last moment._

 _"_ _Cerberus thanks you for the contributions you're going to make towards Humanity's future…"_

 _Right across her stomach, a wound that almost disembowelled her appeared. Elaine threw her head back, unable to take any more, and screamed. When her scream was done, she doubled over, slumped, exhausted, unable to carry on._

 _She was only faintly aware of the change when she could no longer feel the biting pain of the cold against her skin. Instead she felt warm. Behind her closed eyes, she could faintly see light. Blinking blearily into the glare, she was confused to see a bright glow like that of the spreading illumination from an opened door, pierce through the fog. She squinted to try and see through it. A vaguely humanoid shape was walking towards her. Another ghost come to torment her?_

 _When her eyes finally adjusted, and when the ghost finally was close enough, she could make out who it was. His golden armour gleamed bright, his father's sword strapped to his back, Alistair appeared to look every inch a king. He was older than the last time she had seen him, his eyes more weathered, his goatee beard charmingly filled in. He knelt in front of her, a small, knowing smile creasing the corners of his mouth._

 _"_ _Hey, why the long face?" was the first thing that came out of his mouth._

 _Elaine looked up at him, confused. How could he ask her that after all she'd been through? "Because you're not here. You're a shade come to torment me."_

 _"_ _Well, I don't know about torment, as such. What about if I put on a dress and dance the Remigold for you? Is that torment?"_

 _She stared up at him, watched carefully as his small, secret smile grew wider and wider until he was near-enough grinning down at her. That same familiar grin she knew, the same twinkle in his big brown eyes. She was suddenly breathless as she smiled back and said, "Maybe… but it has to be a pretty dress…"_

 _And then she was launching herself into his arms, the chains that had previously confined her gone, all her wounds faded into nothing. She sobbed as she felt the hardness of his armour press into her, felt the warmth of his cheek against her neck, felt how real his arms were as they encircled around her. Alistair held onto her firmly, not saying a word as she let out her sorrow into his shoulder. This was him, she realised with an ache equal to the joy she felt in her heart. This was her Alistair, her best friend. He was real, he was here._

 _"_ _Hey there, love. It's alright…" he whispered softly. "No need to cry."_

 _"_ _You heard them, didn't you?" she squeezed her eyes shut against the shame. "I've failed. I've failed all of you. I'm lost, Alistair. I'm so lost I can't find my way back anymore!"_

 _"_ _Excuse me? Elaine Cousland? Failing at anything? I beg to differ. The universe would cease to exist." He pulled her back so that he could look into her face, his thumb wiping away a tear from her cheek. "You are the Hero of Ferelden. The Paragon of goodness and honour. What could you have possibly done wrong?"_

 _"_ _What have I done right?" she argued. "I left you all to die, I abandoned you. I came here but now everything is a mess. Cerberus have taken so much from me, I want to kill them all, but the more I give in the more people around me get hurt."_

 _"_ _You never abandoned us, Elaine," Alistair told her gently. "You died."_

 _"_ _And you all think I left you, I heard the other ghosts say–"_

 _"_ _Since when do you listen to the whispers of nightmares? Those demons can only hurt you if you let them." His armoured hand moved to grip the back of her head, securing her so that he could stare deep into her eyes. "We never blamed you, Elaine. We mourned, yes, but we didn't blame you. We all loved you. You were special, and each of us had our lives touched by you in some way."_

 _"_ _But if I had been with you, I could've stopped the Sixth Blight…"_

 _"_ _Maybe so," he nodded. "But then you wouldn't be here. Now. Do you think it's an accident that Flemeth sent you all the way here, to this time, at this moment when you're needed most? In my experience, there are no coincidences when it comes to a Witch of the Wilds."_

 _She knew there was wisdom in his words, but she didn't want to acknowledge them. She leaned her head against his breastplate. His hand moved up and down her back in soothing strokes. Elaine closed her eyes and attempted to forget everything, to simply exist here with him, where she might wish things had been different._

 _"_ _There's so much sorrow in you, Elaine, so much anger…"_

 _"_ _Cerberus." She hissed._

 _"_ _Careful, I thought Morrigan was supposed to be our brooding bitch."_

 _She glared up at him, not in the mood for his teasing. "You don't know what they did to me!"_

 _Alistair's smile faded, his hand coming back up to cup her cheek. "I do know, Elaine. I know everything. And it breaks my heart every time I see what it has done to you."_

 _Eyes lowered, she attempted to look away, a little shame-faced. But Alistair refused to relinquish her gaze. One metal finger touched her chin and tilted her face back up to look into his._

 _"_ _You want some advice, Love?" he asked, calling her that little nickname he always did, when they joked that they acted as if they'd been married fifty years. "Let it go. All this anger, this hurt. Don't let it consume you any longer. They can only win when you let them. So let it go… And forgive yourself. You did not kill us. You did not abandon us. What has happened to you was not your fault."_

 _"_ _It does not excuse the fact that people are dying all around me, Alistair." Tears slipped past her lashes as memories of the small boy surfaced._

 _"_ _Then you can repent by being the Hero I know you to be. The woman who fights with her heart, who listens to people's troubles, who helps those in need, who takes time out of her day to talk to each of her companions. The kind of woman I followed into Hell and back."_

 _"_ _But…" her voice croaked, and her lips trembled as she tried to speak. "But what if… what if I don't know how to be that woman anymore?"_

 _His smile grew back. "Trust your heart. And if all else fails, trust me."_

 _There were no words she could say. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she squeezed him tightly, unwilling to let go, even as she could feel the dream start to slip away. Alistair returned the embrace, pressing his lips to the crown of her head._

 _"_ _I wish you were here with me," Elaine whispered forlornly. "All of you."_

 _"_ _We still are, love," he murmured sweetly. "You don't worry about us. We're still watching, we're still following you wherever you go. Oghren's drinking on your behalf, apparently that's adequate moral support in dwarven terms." They both chuckled at that. "But we're all still so proud of you, Elaine. Don't forget that."_

 _She could feel him begin to let go of her, and she tightened her grip. "Please don't leave me. Not yet."_

 _"_ _You know I've got to." He sighed. "My time's almost up. I was only allowed this one little visit, to try and show you the way back."_

 _"_ _Just stay with me a little longer," she begged. "Just hold me, until I wake up."_

 _After a small pause, she felt him return to her. "Always."_

* * *

Garrus tossed and turned on his cot, unable to sleep. He checked his holo-clock and cursed. 3:45am earth-hours. He debated getting up and just getting on with work, but knew it was useless. His heart wasn't in it, his mind was unable to concentrate. His thoughts always slipped back to _her_ , wondering if he'd been too harsh with her, worrying about her being locked up all alone in that room for nearly two days now, pondering if he should go to her. Would she even want to see him?

Suddenly, the battery doors flew open. Garrus startled with a yelp, almost falling out of his bed, the spurs of his ankles tangled in the sheets. He glanced up, and was surprised to see Elaine standing in his doorway. She was only dressed in her underwear, her hair dishevelled, his skin still rosy in places from sleep. A shiver worked its way along her body, the marks of tears still lingered on her cheeks.

"Elaine!" Garrus gasped, stumbling to stand. He mentally thanked some part of his brain that had decided to wear some pants to bed, whether as normally he slept naked. He stood before her, bare chested but at least not completely indecent as he bent a little to try and look in her eyes. "You alright?"

She stared up into his eyes, her icy orbs so bright they almost seemed to glow in the dim light. Suddenly, she grabbed hold of his hands, and pulled them tight against her chest, bending over them to press her forehead to his knuckles.

"Forgive me," she whispered hoarsely. "Please. I know I've done so many terrible things, to you, to everyone. I've just been so loss, and I'm so sorry, I didn't…"

She continued to babble needlessly, her words not making much sense. But despite that, Garrus just seemed to _know_ what it was she meant. He took a deep breath and realised with a jolt that he could smell the lilies of her scent again. And just like that, he knew he had his Elaine back. He slowly moved her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her to hold her tight. His mandibles got tangled in her hair as he pressed his face to her head, but he didn't care. Elaine held onto him tightly.

"It's alright, Elaine. I've got you. I've always got you."

He held her there until his feet ached and his legs grew stiff. Then, he slowly led her towards the bed, and the pair of them laid down together, still entangled in each other's arms. They did not move from their embrace all night. Garrus held her through the early morning hours, just listening to her as she spilled out all the little insecurities, all the secrets, all the guilts she'd held up inside her head since they'd rescued her. In all honesty, some of it brought tears to his eyes. But throughout, he never once let her go, never once even loosened his grip.

All he kept saying to her was: "Don't worry. I've got you now."

And he did, and he planned to continue to hold her, for the rest of her life, if she would allow it. Anything, if it meant he could keep her here with him in this moment.

* * *

 **A/N: I had planned to be 2 chapters ahead by this point, but I thought that this was a good place to leave our little story for the course of Christmas and New Year. I do hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and that the holidays will be pleasant for you. Elaine is now letting go, and can begin the process of healing. Her and Garrus' bond has been reaffirmed. And I think that's a nice place to leave it for now.**

 **Please don't forget to leave a review! And I'll see you guys first Monday of January!**


	9. The Refugees

**Author's Note: Welcome back everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful holiday break, and that you're looking forward to Mass Effect Mondays again!**

 **Song used in this chapter is from Dragon Age Inquisition: "Once We Were"**

* * *

"Hey, Shepard…"

The commander felt the insides of his chest squeeze a little too tightly. He'd never been too fond of hospitals to begin with; the sounds of the dead and dying, the stench of disinfectant, it always made him feel uncomfortable. But to look into the little room and see his one-time-friend lying on the bed, his face a horrible mismatched mask of purple bruises, healing cuts and still visible stitches, it messed up something inside him. But he wouldn't show weakness, not here. "Hey, Kaidan. You doing alright?"

"Yeah, I'm doing good, thanks to you." Seeming to notice how his Commander was hovering in the threshold of his room, Kaidan weakly gestured to the chair by his bedside. "You wanna sit?"

Awkwardly, Shepard stepped into the room, the door sliding closed behind him with a soft hiss. "Thanks." He murmured as he sat himself down. His thumbs tapped against the arm of his seat with trepidation. How was he supposed to act? When he and Kaidan last spoke, it had been tense and filled with contempt. Yet they'd once been good friends, and Shepard could only feel guilt when he looked upon his fellow human now. "How're you doing?"

"I'm so ready to get out of here, Shepard. You can't tell, but I'm tied to this bed by medical red tape. Doc says I'm good to go, but she always finds just one more test to run." Kaidan's amused smile wavered as he glanced at the stiff and tense Commander. "And you can stop looking at me like that. I mean it, I'm okay."

Shepard sighed. "Kaidan, no matter what previously happened between us, you almost died on my watch. It was horrible to see."

"I get that. You always did want everyone safe. Only let yourself take all the risks."

"Always easier to handle the burden when it only falls on me."

"I thought I'd been excommunicated from your little group. You shouldn't have to worry about me."

"Maybe not." Shepard glanced at the ground, leaning his elbows on his knees and rubbing his hands together as if cold. "But you were a brother once, Kaidan. And I feel that by pushing you out, I put you in more danger."

"Then I want you to be straight with me, Shepard." Kaidan shifted in his bed, as if he wanted to sit up. He winced, and Shepard leaned forward to help him but was waved off. When he was finally sat straight, Kaidan levelled dark eyes on the Spectre. "Are we gonna be able to get past what happened on Horizon? I mean, _I'd_ like to, Shepard. I'd like to move past the harsh words and be able to be friends, at least. I mean, you were my commander, but you listened too. You helped me get through a lot. And we went through Ash's death together."

Another painful reminder of Shepard's failings. "Yeah… we did."

"So, let's just put it behind us and get on with what's important right now."

It didn't feel like the air was clear yet, not completely anywhere. Shepard could almost see the conversation Kaidan wanted to have, but could also appreciate that he finally wanted to get whatever war had between them over. "Okay." With a nod, Shepard let it go, and decided to head to a lighter subject. "You said in your letter Udina was pestering you. Want me to get Anderson to punch him in the face again?"

"Actually, Udina's been quite supportive." Kaidan shrugged, and then edgily said, "He wants to offer me a position as a spectre."

"Wow."

"I know, right? It's a big honour… a huge responsibility."

Shepard was honestly surprised, but also slightly proud, even if the back of his mind was nagging at him for some unknown reason. "Just make sure you're certain of it, though."

"Yeah, I know." Kaidan muttered as if he were a child snapping at a parent to stop worrying. "Hey, you may wanna go talk to Udina, see what you can do for him."

"You're asking me to offer help to _Udina?_ You remember what an asswipe he was back in the day?"

"Come on, Shepard, give the guy a break. He's really killing himself over Earth. He's desperate to try and get some help – anything at all. Feels like nothing he does is good enough. Guess I can relate."

"Yeah?"

Kaidan nodded, his expression turning dark. "People near death say their lives flash before their eyes. For me, it was the future. The anguish, the families, the children. I wanna kick the Reapers right back to Hell for all this. I need to do _something_ , Shepard. To save at least a few lives."

"I hear you, Major. Don't worry. We'll get it done." Shepard vowed. There was a silence where Shepard realised he'd lingered long enough, and began to stand. "Hey… I'm glad you asked me to come. It's good to see you're gonna be okay."

"Yeah. Maybe I'll see you around some time?"

Shepard wandered back through the hospital, the state of it making him feel disquiet in more ways than one, though he tried to ignore it. So many people filling the halls that beds had needed to be made on the floor of corridors. Calls were constantly coming in from newly docking ships fleeing the worst of the war, begging for medical aid. Doctors were running back and forth, trying to see to as many patients as quickly as possible, calling in favours with suppliers or traders to try and get in enough medicine. Shepard felt as if there was little he could do here, so decided to quickly get out of the way. As he left, he made a mental note to use his newly reinstated Spectre status to assign more supplies and funds to the Citadel hospitals.

He took a cab up towards the Presidium Commons. Liara had sent him a message before they'd docked for a resupply, inviting him to meet her at a café there. Shepard was looking forward to it, a chance to relax, even if the worries of the war were pressing down on his shoulders like a gigantic boulder. But also, he felt a little nervous. Since Mars, he and Liara hadn't had that much time to speak properly. He needed to get his feelings out in the open, had to make her understand how he felt. Every night he went to bed, he thought of how lonely he was with no one sleeping beside him. Every time he stepped into combat, a drifting thought would pass through his mind that this could be the last one, and he never got the chance to make peace with the woman he loved.

The café was a quaint little place, all shining and clean and filled with softly spoken smiling people of good wealth and social standing. A balcony overlooked the Presidium gardens, it was so picturesque that it was almost hard to believe there were refugees flooding the docks across the station or that there was a war going on at all in the stars. Liara was sat at the furthest table, her back to him, no one sat at any of the tables near her. She was bent over a datapad, her finger flicking over of the information given to her. Shepard could already feel himself smiling as he came closer to her.

"Liara–" when she didn't respond to him right away, even when he sat beside her, he frowned worriedly and shook her shoulder. "Liara?"

"Oh! Shepard!" she gasped, startled. "Sorry, I was just…"

"Busy," the corner of his lips twitched upwards. He gestured to the datapad and lowered his voice, "Shadowbroker stuff?"

"Yes. The Citadel hasn't seen the true face of this war, not really. All everyone here sees are the refugees pouring in and the vague news reports." Her brows furrowed in growing disdain. "Sure, they throw a credit or two towards charities, but that's not good enough. Not for me. There's always shelters I can find, politicians I can blackmail, mercenaries I can hire."

"Liara, I get it. Believe me, I do." Shepard quickly said, placing his hand over hers to still it from reaching for the datapad. He recognised this darker side of her, he'd seen it before back when he helped her take down the previous Shadowbroker. He didn't like it, this bitterness, this anger in her. "But you need to slow down, too. I don't want you burning out."

Closing her eyes, Liara let out a long and weary sigh. The tense muscles in her shoulders relaxed. After a long moment, a tired smile twitched at the corners of her lips. "You're always looking out for me, Shepard. Sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself."

He still hadn't taken his hand off hers. "I should hope I do. I mean, after all that we've been through…"

She seemed to realise what it was he was referring to, and suddenly the whole world condensed to just them. "Shepard, I–"

"I know I made some bad calls, Liara." He said quickly. He couldn't have her interrupt him before he was finished spilling his guts. He couldn't even look her in the eye, just kept his gaze focused on his hand over hers. If she shut him down before he could say it all… "I left you in the dark. Six months with no word. I own that, and I am sorry."

"Thank you. And I'm sorry too." She turned her hand in his grip so that she could hold onto him as well, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze. "I know I've been difficult these past few weeks. I should've been more mature about the situation."

"Liara, I want you to know that on Earth, the thought of you… that was what kept me going." He dared to meet her eyes, a lump forming in his throat. "I care about you, Liara. You know I do. I always have. There's no one else."

"James," she whispered. "You know there's no one else for me either,"

"You know I still haven't given up on our dream?" he snorted. "You remember, the one we used to talk about, before Ilos on the SR1? Marriage, and a lot of blue-children."

"And here I was thinking Commander Shepard wasn't the settling down type."

"He is if it's with you."

"James…" the joking light she'd shared in her eyes with him a moment ago vanished. "It's been years since we were together. I just… I think…"

"I know. But I just wanted to let you know – I want to make _us_ work. There were a lot of reasons I was happy to see you on Mars."

For a fraction of a second, she looked as if she were about to smile, to speak. Shepard slowly leaned towards her, inviting her in. But before their lips could touch, her omnitool gave a loud _beep_. Immediately pulling back, she opened it to see the message. Her frame drooped a little. "I'm sorry. There's just so much to do. I–"

"It's okay." He said, standing. It hurt, but she hadn't told him no outright either. "I'll give you some time to think."

* * *

Elaine had once thought that nothing could take away from the grandeur of the Citadel. With its sparkling towers, pristine gardens and bustling lit up city streets, it seemed on the surface to be a metropolitan paradise. Yet now, she could see for herself just how wrong she was. Ever since the Normandy had docked at the Citadel, she'd been a little excited to step out onto its streets once again. After everything that had happened to her, the way she'd acted and her need for forgiveness and healing, she'd thought that a little piece of futuristic normalcy would do her good.

Instead, she found the streets filled with refugees, people seeking sanctuary by any means. There were more beggars, crying out for food, warmth or any kind of charity. Elaine saw more children, softly weeping into their mother's sides, or running around, dirty, attempting to pickpocket. Some were even stopping C-SEC in order to ask where their parents were. All the normal residents of the Citadel walked past all these undesirables, doing their best to avoid eye contact, to pretend none of this misery existed. There was an underlying tension in the air, of people trying to believe the war was just some distant dream, that would never affect them, but still they dreaded the monsters to come. In the meantime, the only thing they could do to give themselves hope, as well as be the cruellest, was to ignore it altogether.

To see it all before her, it cut Elaine to the bone. It was the Blight, Lothering and Redcliffe, all over again. This war was suddenly made very real to her. It wasn't something distant and far away anymore. Here were the victims, here were those that had lost homes and families, right in front of her eyes. Again, a fleeting thought of guilt entered her mind, that if she hadn't been captured by Cerberus, or if she had just been a little faster, a little better, she might've been able to do something to stop all this sooner. But as quickly as the thought came, she pushed it away. It was that kind of thinking that had plunged her into her darkest days. There was no point in wondering how the past could be changed – it couldn't be. All that she could focus on, was how to help these people _now._

A hand touched her shoulder. She startled, so deep in thought she hadn't even noticed someone get so close. It frightened her. Was it Cerberus again?! Forest green scales towered over her, a familiar black leather jacket hung on lean yet muscled shoulders. Black eyes blinked both sets of eyelids down at her, a small smile on full lips.

"Thane?" she whispered dumbly, doubting her own senses. Was it a vision? Shakily, she reached out a hand, and poked the vision. It was solid. In an instant, she leapt at the Drell, throwing her arms about his neck. "Thane!"

" _Ohff_!" he grunted as he took her weight. She heard him laugh gently as he wrapped his arms around her. "It is good to see you again, _Siha_. _Siha?_ " he paused, monotone voice lifting slightly in question. Elaine was shaking in his arms, quietly crying into his shoulder. She felt him gently take her by the shoulders, and lead her away. "Come, let us sit and talk somewhere more privately."

He guided towards a street bench several steps away. The short walk allowed Elaine to regather her composure. She wiped at her cheeks, breathing deeply. "Oh, Thane. I thought I'd never see you again."

"Incarceration could not have been so terrible." Thane said with a frown. "You and Shepard are both free now."

Biting her lip, Elaine struggled with the idea of telling him the truth. It was a shame and horror upon her life she would rather he never know, and one that she did not want to relive. And yet, Thane had always been someone she could trust, someone that she could speak her mind to, someone who helped her to better understand both situations and herself through their conversations. So, trying to hold back the rotten feeling in her stomach, she recounted for him the tale of her capture with Cerberus, Kei Leng, and her escape. Just as with Garrus the other night, getting it all off her chest allowed her to feel slightly freer.

When her story was done, Thane took hold of her hand between his webbed fingers. "I promise you, Elaine. If I had known, I would've done everything in my power to help you."

"In a way, you did." She sniffed and smiled a little. Thane cocked his head, confused. From her pocket, Elaine hesitated a moment before presenting him with the Drell coin he had bestowed to her. "Here, I should give this back to you. When they kept me in my cell, I held onto this. You helped to keep me sane."

"Keep it, for now." Thane said, closing her fingers around the talisman and pushing it back towards her chest. "Drell only have need of these when we have need of our gods. I know you believe in your Maker, but I would like to think Arashu would still watch over you. She does not abandon her _Sihas_ easily. This may be one of her tools to protect you."

"I… thank you."

"I am near the end of my life, it is a good time to be generous."

She had almost forgotten about his illness. A flutter of panic erupted in her heart to think that so soon after finding him, she would lose him again. "Are you really so close to dying?"

"I'm afraid my allotted time has come and gone," he told her gently, always with that calm and collected expression on his face. "I've been to several doctors. My favourite gave me three months to live – nine months ago. It's freeing to find no requirements placed on me. No responsibilities, no fears. It is a good end to a life."

"Does… does it hurt?"

"At times. I will not worry you with the details. Just know that it is manageable with daily treatment."

"I don't know how you can stand it." A shiver travelled the length of her spine. "I know one day the taint will claim me. And even thinking the furthest end for me could be twenty or thirty years away, it frightens me. I guess that's why I keep fighting. Maybe I think that if I fight, I can hold it off a little longer."

"There comes a time when one must rest from war and conflict. It is not _your_ time, but it is mine."

She and Thane sat on that bench for a while longer, talking the time away. Elaine could listen to Thane talk for hours. He told her stories of mending his relationship with his son, making a trip to earth once, and even how he was protecting the homeless from thugs – even when his failing health forbade him from doing so. As they talked, Elaine felt another piece of normal settle into place. Though she questioned if he would ever consider re-joining the Normandy, he graciously declined. It was not his place, any longer. After a while, they had to part ways. And whilst Elaine was reluctant to see him leave, she left with the promise to come back and speak with him soon.

"Do not grieve for me," he said gently into her ear with his last embrace. "I have good doctors, and my son visits regularly. Until we meet again, _Siha_."

Elaine wandered for a little while longer. Whether some inner knowledge lead her there, or if it happen by coincidence, the Warden found herself at the docks, large signs having been placed declaring it the 'HOLDING AREA'. The general hubbub of noise of a large crowd could be heard within, and Elaine entered without hesitation.

Once inside, she was struck mute. Refugees of all races were crowded amongst cargo-crates and lines for immigration desks. C-SEC were placed along every wall and marching through the crowd to show their presence in an attempt to intimidate and deter any would-be criminals. One entire wall was dedicated to a memorial. Portraits and letters and other personal items were hung in a place of honour for those who had been lost to the ones who managed to make it this far. She wandered through the crowd, forcing herself to stare into the eyes of misery, accept this as real. All the while, she let her mind tick over it all, letting it get to work to come up with a solution to help them.

A familiar voice had Elaine instantly gravitating towards it. Used cargo-crates had been emptied to form make-shift shelters, stacked in tightly-knit clumps until they resembled slums. Between one "alley", Elaine noticed a group of Turians clustered together. One of the metal crates had been turned into a poor-man's infirmary, the injured lined up in rows on blankets and mats. That voice came again, irate and commanding. Elaine wandered closer, stretching on her toes to see over the large shoulders and carapaces of the Turians.

Garrus stood in the centre of this little avenue, several Turians surrounding him, giving him lists of their woes and misfortunes. Taking it all in stride, Garrus had a response for every complaint sent his way. He ordered the soldiers to their tasks, helping to get this little section of the Holding Area be more organised than the entirety of the rest of it. Elaine held back, standing in the shadows where she wouldn't be in the way, just wanting to watch him work. It amazed her to think that he'd been fighting this war, had been dealing with the fallout, for far longer than she'd thought. Of course, though, he spotted her, like he could feel her eyes on his face. The proudly displayed scars, stretching from his mandible to the corner of his jaw, gleamed from the overhead lights. Elaine thought they looked quite handsome.

"Hey Garrus," she said softly in greeting as he approached her.

"Elaine," he immediately took her hand in his, giving it a comforting squeeze. "You okay?"

Not completely, she thought. How could anyone be when surrounded by all of this? "What's going on here?"

"We convinced the Council to accept some of our wounded. Nowhere else to go. But there's more dead than injured…" a sad light entered his sky-blue eyes as he glanced behind him at all the poor, woeful souls that surrounded them. "We'll need a morgue soon. Not a lot of flesh wounds when you're fighting Reapers. A few of them might get back on their feet, but the rest… sympathy is about all we can offer."

"I…" she bit her lip, not sure if she was intruding. Shoving such doubt aside, she tried again, with more conviction: "I want to help."

For the next two hours, Garrus showed her around their little camp. Elaine helped wherever she could, whether that be helping in building shelters, cooking, settling disputes, helping the nurses to stitch up wounds. At one point, she and Garrus left to see a supplier about clothing donated from charities. After picking up the shipment, the pair of them returned to the camp and helped to distribute the items to those in need. It pained Elaine to see even a few children amongst those needy.

"All these people look at you with such reverence, Garrus." She said offhandedly, glancing his way.

He snorted, looking at the floor as if such a place of regard were such a shame. "Yeah, as if I know what I'm doing."

"I heard someone say you were the _Reaper Advisor?"_

"It's not as impressive as it sounds," he mumbled, scratching at his neck self-consciously. "Back on Palaven, I ruffled some feathers, so they gave me a token title, along with a token task force so I'd shut up."

"How?"

"Just followed Shepard's example. Yell loud enough, and eventually someone will come over to see what all the fuss is about." That got a chuckle out of her, and the pair of them shared a smile. "Not like the old days when even my Executors couldn't get rid of me fast enough. Turns out, I'm actually respectable now."

A loud piercing cry echoed out from one of the containers, the sound amplified by the echo on the bare metal walls. It was such a strange sound, like a combination of a bird's screeching and a wolf's whining. All around the camp, various faces looked up at the noise, only to duck their heads in guilt and ignore it. Elaine couldn't. Something about the sound, drew her in, a demand inside of her to tend to the outcry and soothe it. She left Garrus' side and peered inside the dark container.

A Turian nurse paced back and forth across the metal floor. This one was female – whilst the males had the larger bodies and long fringe-spikes atop their heads, the females lacked the fringe but made up for it in longer plates at the hinges of their jaws. The female held in her arms a small bundle, and it was only when said-bundle moved that Elaine felt her breath catch in her throat with realisation. It was a baby.

Barely as big as her forearm, it's body was wrapped tightly in soft materials, something between clothes and a wrap-around blanket. From the bulge on it's back, Elaine could make out the carapace, but it wasn't anywhere near as pronounced as that of the adults. The babe's face plates seemed almost too big, with the exception of the mandibles, with looked far too small in proportion to the head. The mouth was gaping open to emit their piercing cry, in a manner similar to a baby bird. The top of the head was mostly bald, except for the ever-so-small spikes just starting to peek out from behind the forehead-plates.

Elaine hung in the doorway, not wanting to disturb the dark interior of the nursery, but unable to take her eyes off the little one that continued to cry, no matter much the nurse rocked it. She felt a presence loom behind her, and quietly asked. "How old is the little one?"

"Less than a year. Hardly eaten a thing." Garrus murmured back just as quietly. "His mother died from injuries on the way here. We're having trouble finding the father. Turians are a bit like the birds humans compare us to. When our children first open their eyes, they imprint on the first person they see. Its why babies are so difficult to handle should anything happen – they don't trust easily."

Unknowing what compelled her to do so, Elaine slowly stepped into the darkness and warmth. She approached the nurse, who's eyes were bloodshot and limbs sagging from lack of rest. Hesitantly, Elaine held out her arms. "May I…?"

The nurse seemed wary, looking over Elaine to Garrus. He must've given consent, for the nurse slowly began to hand over the babe into Elaine's arms. She was no stranger to infants, having been there to help deliver Oren into the world and almost being a second mother to him. It was clear by his stiff back that the baby didn't want to be held laying down. Instead, supported him with one hand under his bum, his legs straddling her stomach. Her other arm and hand were pressed across his body and resting on his shoulders. His head was pressed against her breastbone, ear against her skin so he could hear the beat of her heart through her flesh.

Patting her rear gently and swaying slightly, Elaine slipped into an old part of her that hadn't been awakened in years yet felt as easy as breathing. The babe nuzzled into her skin, whining quietly, before starting to settle to the hypnotic pat-and-sway accompanied by the sound of the calm heartbeat in his ear. Almost without meaning to, a hum began to build in Elaine's chest, and then it manifested into a soft song.

 _"Once we were_  
 _In our peace_  
 _With our lives assured._

 _Once we were_  
 _Not afraid of the dark._

 _Once we sat in our kingdom_  
 _With hope and pride._

 _Once we ran through_  
 _The fields with great strides._

 _We held the Fade_  
 _And the demon's flight_  
 _So far from our children_  
 _And from our lives._

 _We held together_  
 _The fragile sky_  
 _To keep our way of life._

 _Once we raised_  
 _Up our chalice_  
 _In victory._

 _Once we sat_  
 _In the light of our dreams._

 _Once we were_  
 _In our homeland_  
 _With strength and might._

 _Once we were_  
 _Not afraid of the night."_

Glancing down, a smile spread across her lips. The baby was sound asleep, huddled against her chest.

"You're pretty good at that," Garrus' voice whispered in her ear.

She turned; he was standing right behind her. How long had he been there? She smiled sheepishly. "My mother used to sing to me when I was little. She said I could use it when I…"

She trailed off, the sentence didn't need to be said aloud. What cruel irony was it that Elaine, who had previously sworn off children in her younger years, would grieve over the thought of never being able to carry children of her own, thanks to the taint. She thought she'd come to peace with that sad future. But now she had a man she loved standing at her side, and a baby in her arms… Staring at the tiny innocent creature she held, Elaine wondered for a moment what it would be like to have a baby – _Garrus'_ baby. Would it look like him, silver plates and brown skin? Would it have her eyes, the Cousland eyes? Would it like guns or swordplay? It felt so right, to hold this baby against her, he fit almost perfectly, his weight hardly a worry. It had felt too easy to slip back into the rhythm of caring and loving a child, just as she had done with Oren.

Even if she were not infertile, it would be impossible to have children with Garrus, she reminded herself. Biology would be incompatible. And that simple truth saddened her. To think she might never know what a future might hold for the pair of them with a family? She could almost see before her eyes the future that might've become had things been different. But reality made it fade away from sight before it could become tangible. She met Garrus' eyes, and almost immediately knew his mind had wandered the same path hers had.

A loud knock banged against the side of the container, the clang echoing horribly like a gong. The noise was so loud and sudden, the baby startled awake with a cry. Garrus spun to the door, growling loudly in his throat at the intrusion. Elaine began to rock the baby again, soothing him back to calm. When the baby finally calmed, she turned with a scowl to the bastard who had been stupid enough to interrupt.

He was a human man, middle age with a pot belly and blotchy face burned red from having jogged all the way here, presumably. "Miss Cousland?" he asked, puffing. When Elaine's icy look turned thunderous, he at least had the decency to duck his head. "Apologies. I've been asked to escort you to the Presidium Embassies, Councillor Udina would like a word with you,"

She didn't want to, and was contemplating on how to word her refusal, when Garrus relented his anger with a sigh and gently took the baby from her. "You should go." Reluctantly, she nodded, and began to follow the escort. Before she could make it three steps, she felt Garrus' hand on her wrist, halting her. "Hey, I'm here if you wanna talk, Elaine. Don't forget to come up for air. And not because Shepard and all the rest need you – because _I_ need you."

Touched, Elaine stretched up on her toes and pressed her forehead against his. With one last lingering touch, she slowly left him behind.

The escort drove her up to the presidium in a sky car. Elaine was silent the entire way, studying her surroundings obsessively, and always keeping an eye on her guide. She'd learned her lesson of not trusting strangers so openly after Cerberus. As they neared the Presidium, Elaine couldn't help but feel a little disquiet. She was almost resentful of the beautiful and pristinely kept gardens and streets, the rich and import strolling without a care; all when there were people suffering on the wards below. But she didn't want to be dragged down by accusatory thoughts. It did no good to anyone to condemn the rich simply for being rich.

At the Presidium embassies, Elaine was escorted through the streets, to a fancy office. Two C-SEC officers were posted outside the doors, poised and watching all who approached with hawk eyes. Elaine's escort stopped outside, and gestured for her to continue on in without him. Body stiff, the Warden wished she had her armour with her so that she didn't feel so exposed and vulnerable. Fists clenched, ready to fight at a moment's notice, she shouldered her way past C-SEC into the office.

Councillor Udina was a balding dark-haired man. He looked as if he had once been of healthy weight, but his cheeks were now gaunt from sudden weight loss and there were heavy bags under his eyes. He watched her come in from behind his desk, dark eyes scouring her from head to foot. Elaine recognised that look which said he had made note of everything about her and stored it for future use. He would've got on well in the Landsmeet.

"Ah, you must be the famous Elaine Cousland I've heard so much about." Said the man, standing to offer her a hand that was starting to wrinkle around the knuckles. "Councillor Udina."

She shook it, and took the seat he offered. When she spoke, her tone was guarded and her words to the point. "Why would you wish to see me, Councillor?"

"Because I have heard some interesting stories about you," said Udina, folding his hands across his lap and studying her with an unblinking gaze. "You helped Shepard to destroy the Collector Base, you helped to safeguard the potential alliance between the Turians and the Krogan. And I have seen the footage of you in action. You are an impressive warrior."

"Thank you, Councillor."

"I find myself in need of soldiers like that." Undina turned over one hand, studying the palm. Though his expression remained unchanged, the politician Elaine had been raised to be recognised the grief behind his eyes. "Humanity is in a dire situation. Our homeplanet is being raised to the ground, our people are dying in the hundreds of thousands on a daily basis. And what do the Council offer us? Apologies that boil down to ' _maybe later_ '? Miss Cousland, if we don't figure something out, _maybe later_ , will be an epitaph on a mass grave of 11 billion people."

A sobering thought, indeed. Images of her own planet, caked in ash and scattered bones, arose from her memory. All the people of her world, dead. Sympathy welled inside her for Udina. It was an unfortunate truth that was no less a mountain to bear the weight of alone. For Udina, that weight turned into desperate anger, one that made Elaine feel a little uneasy as he slammed a fist onto his desk.

"We need to help them. We _must_ help them!" he barked passionately. "With Parliament destroyed and our chain of command in tatters, I have more power than any human in history. Yet it counts for little here. This alien council wants to do nothing but help themselves. They've blocked me from doing anything that could be useful. But rest assured, I will not be held off for long. I will ensure the best for humanity. No matter what it takes."

Out of reflex, Elaine felt her hackles rise at the words _best for humanity._ "Such as?"

"Well, for one, the Citadel Fleet has some of the galaxy's most powerful warships in their arsenal. Using half of them would help to relieve our bogged down Armada." He explained. "But I would need the approval of the entire council for that. And I don't have the man-power behind me to force them."

"With all due respect, Councillor," the Warden said with narrowed eyes. "I still don't see how this has anything to do with me."

Udina leaned his elbows on the desk. "Miss Cousland, the greatest threat to our people is hopelessness – as large of a threat as the Reapers may seem. They need something, someone out there, giving them reason to hope. If Shepard does secure this alliance, it will go a long way to help. But until then, I need people to show that there are those out there working to help them. Miss Cousland, I want to make you into a Spectre."

Elaine could've choked on air. "A-A Spectre?! Isn't that what Shepard is?"

"Yes. An agent of the Council's will. Someone above the law who can do the things that regular soldiers cannot. Your fighting prowess, unusual abilities and your outspoken moral compass make you a great candidate to be the people's champion. A figurehead to show the everyman that those in power have not forgotten them."

"Councillor, I don't think you realise that I'm–"

"I've already offered Major Kaidan Alenko a post as well, so that you will not be alone. I'll have both of you report directly to me, of course. Together, we can not only help to save humanity, but to thwart all those who would stand in our way."

"Councillor!" Elaine exclaimed loudly. With Udina's mad tirade over, she stood and said in a gentler yet firm tone: "I am flattered by the proposal. But I cannot accept. I am a Grey Warden, and that position demands that I be neutral in political affairs. And from the sounds of it, that's the opposite of what you would have me do."

"But surly–"

"And furthermore, I don't believe I'm currently in a state of secure mental wellbeing in order to take on such a responsibility."

Udina stood as well, outrage on his face at her gall. "But you cannot just leave humanity to suffer in this–!"

"I am not!" she snapped. "And it is not just humanity that is suffering in this. I apologise if I cannot help you, Councillor. Good day."

Without a backward glance, Elaine swept out of the office, needing fresh air. The entire ordeal left her feeling rather strange. She couldn't help but feel as if the ramifications of this meeting would haunt her.


	10. The First Clue

Elaine stepped through the doors into the low-lit Captain's Cabin, her footsteps shuffling on the hard floor. The fish tank was bare, yet still emitted most of the soft light that filled the space, giving a calming atmosphere. Shepard was sat at his desk, a forgotten cup of coffee by his terminal. Upon hearing her enter, Shepard turned his chair to face her. There was something of a smile on his lips, though she could see his slight nerves in his eyes. Feeling restless under scrutiny, Elaine preferred to stand, hands behind her back.

"You wanted to see me, Shepard?" she asked.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat. "I, um, I wanted us to really talk. You know, return the favour."

She cocked a brow. "Return the favour?"

"When I was in a real bad place, you helped me through the worst of it. We talked it out in this very room."

The memory resurfaced, and along with it came a slight anxiety for the conversation about to occur. "Shepard–"

"I think it's about time we talked about what happened to you, Elaine. I knew you were hurting after we rescued you from Cerberus. But you still fell hard after Benning."

"I am sorry for that," she mumbled, staring down at the floor in shame. "For hitting you, I mean."

Shepard tried to go for a smile, but it came across as strained. "Wouldn't be the first woman to give me a good slap." When she didn't laugh with him, he sighed, dejected. "Kelly Chambers was always better at this. But I still want us to talk. As friends."

Maybe those two little words were what broke her resolve. Because, shakily t first, she began to tell him everything. She told him of every little experiment, every indignity, every torture. In between, she told him of her escape attempts, and the lengths she went to in her efforts to survive. She told him about Kei Leng and his sick mind-games. All the while, she did her best, attempting to keep her composure as she told the story, fighting back the urge to cry or scream in anger. It transitioned into after her escape, the insecurities and the anger that had possessed her like a demon. And then it ended with the discovery of the Cerberus troops infected with the taint on Benning.

"Oh, Elaine," Shepard murmured, wiping a hand over his face as if to wipe away the horrors she had just shared with him. "I'm sorry that all that happened to you. Don't worry though, we'll get the bastards back for that."

"I just want to know why," she hissed under her breath. "Why me? Why take the taint from me and infect their own soldiers with it?"

"Because they want more of you," he said. "Think about it, Elaine. The Illusive Man said himself that you're impressive in a fight. You're able to keep pace with me – and I'm the one with all the cybernetic enhancements. He must be trying to make his own Wardens."

"But he's not! He's creating ghouls." When Shepard only looked confused, she growled to herself and elaborated. "The Blight corruption is inherent in all the Darkspawn. It is carried in their blood, in their very footsteps. It poisons and distorts and eventually kills all living things. Most times, when a person is infected by the Blight, they die from the sickness. But sometimes, they survive just long enough to become Ghouls. Ghouls re people who are infected with the blight, it warps their mind, twists them and turns them mad. They cannibalise and listen to the Darkspawn taint in their blood. Some resist for a time, but eventually, they are drawn to the Darkspawn Hoard, unable to differentiate between themselves and them. in the end, however, they die."

"So what's the difference between Ghouls and Wardens. How do you get one but not the other?"

"Ghouls are usually created when desperate souls who are stranded in Darkspawn territory resort to feeding on Darkspawn flesh to fight off starvation. Other times, it's just getting the taint in the bloodstream. The Grey Wardens, however, undergo a special ritual we call the Joining. I don't know all the details, I wasn't a Warden very long before I ended up here, and my Commanders all died before they could tell me the exact specifications. All I know is that it involves vials of Darkspawn blood, as well as a single drop of blood from an Archdemon. Alistair once mentioned something about Lyrium, as well. The process almost kills you, even if you survive."

"So, the Illusive Man isn't even making the right kind of Wardens because he doesn't know the exact science?"

"He _can't_ because the Joining is as much a magical spectacle as it is a formula."

Shepard stood, rubbing at the two day stubble on his jaw as he paced back and forth in front of her. "We won't know for sure, not without getting some info from Cerberus themselves. And… I think we might be in luck."

Elaine looked up sharply. "How so?"

"Admiral Hackett just sent me over an assignment." He gestured to his terminal. "There's a Cerberus Lab in the Sigurd's Cradle cluster. If we can infiltrate it–"

"There may be some information on what they're doing!"

* * *

Despite having no technical expertise, Elaine was not going to be left behind, not when the answers she sought were right here. Shepard wasn't going to argue with her over it, and allowed her to come along. With them, came Garrus – who refused to allow Elaine anywhere near Cerberus without him; and then EDI, who was considered the best candidate to hack into Cerberus databases. Whatever that meant.

Upon arriving at the facility, Elaine couldn't help her anger creeping up inside her, the revulsion nearly overwhelming her, as she recognised the tingle of the taint echoing out from the Cerberus soldiers. She killed them, but she no longer relished it, the words of her family floating back to mind. And even when she feared she'd lose herself to the hate again, she would always feel a small touch on her shoulder and find Garrus there.

They quickly found the console's they needed to hack in. EDI was assigned to infiltrate their records, and Elaine was ordered to guard her whilst Garrus and Shepard scouted through the rest of the lab. Eline remained on alert, listening to her sixth sense for any indication that Cerberus soldiers were inbound. Yet as the minutes dragged by and her blood remained silent, she slowly began to relax the iron grip on her sword.

"I must say, EDI," she said in an effort to break the tense silence. "I hadn't thought to fight alongside you. It is a welcome change."

She didn't know if the metal-woman looked up from her task or not, but her tone remained light and trivial. "I agree that this body is more suitable for performing everyday tasks. Most of the crew were a little surprised to witness it the first time. Yet you have remained calm. May I inquire as to why?"

"Once I recognised your voice, I had no reason to fear your body, EDI."

"But most organics have a socially learned phobia of AI's," she said thoughtfully. "Aside from you mistaking me for a spirit upon our first meeting, you have no exhibited this fear."

"I knew someone once who was also not a person of flesh and blood." Elaine recalled with a fond smile. "Shale. A golem – a being made of stone and crystal, with the soul of another used to control it. If I can befriend a cantankerous rock monster like Shale, why shouldn't I be able to accept a mind created purely from technology?"

Shepard and Garrus soon returned, having swept the immediate area and after blockading most of the doors leading into the rest of the facility, they were confident that no other Cerberus troops were here. That being said, however, the group still needed to hurry because it was unclear if Cerberus would send reinforcements to help reclaim the facility.

EDI dashed from console to console, her fingers flying over the keys so fast, Elaine could only see them as a blur. The information she discovered showed the group that Cerberus were doing their own studies on the Reapers, their movements, and their relics. There were several samples dotted around the lab that Cerberus seemed to be studying, which Shepard promptly destroyed. It visibly worried him that it appeared Cerberus were studying the process of indoctrination, its range, power, and how it would be applied.

Yet Elaine's greatest fears were about to be discovered.

"I have something," EDI declared. As the other three crowded around her, she pulled up the glowing interface. Elaine couldn't understand a single word or any of the diagrams shown, but EDI promptly rescued her by explaining: "These are results on tests of Elaine's DNA samples. Cerberus seems particularly interested in replicating the markers that create the Warden version of the taint."

Elaine and Shepard shared a look. "Looks like we were right," the commander murmured. "Anything else, EDI?"

"Cerberus have discovered that all Reaper forces are infected with the Blight sickness that was prevalent in the Collectors."

"Makes sense," Garrus shrugged. "We know the taint is highly contagious, and Reapers are part organic as well as synthetic. Seems natural that whatever's organic about them is infected."

"Cerberus' thoughts exactly." EDI nodded. "However, they are investigating how this new development interacts with the indoctrination process."

"Meaning?" Shepard asked.

"They want to know which is more powerful. The Blight, or the Indoctrination?"

Elaine felt a chill sweep up her spine. "What does any of this mean, EDI? What are Cerberus planning to do with all this? What are they working towards?"

"Unknown," the robot murmured, frowning down at the console as her fingers sped up incredibly. "The scientists' logs mention waiting on results from _'research-HQ'_. Someone there is the one in charge of all these experiments. They seem to be waiting on something. More data is required before they can go further. Another element needs to be introduced."

"Like what?"

"I am uncertain at this time," even EDI's tone turned grave, as if even she could feel the apprehension descending over the room. "All the logs elude to, is that something _bigger_ needs to happen."

* * *

Despite the fact that Elaine had developed a fondness for what the Normandy cook, Gardner, had once called 'pasta', it went untouched as she sat in the Mess Hall hours later. Her mind kept stewing over everything they had learned at the Cerberus lab. Perhaps the answer to this riddle was hidden in the details somewhere, and needed to be found? She rigorously went over every little thing but was still stumped. Even if, deep down, she couldn't quite shake the feel of foreboding creeping up on her.

"Um, hello?"

Elaine jolted from her stupor, startled by the voice. She looked up to find a thin woman with dark skin and hair standing by her table. Behind her was Liara. Both women were smiling politely down at her, and Elaine had to take a moment to remember her manners. "Oh, hello. Sorry, I didn't notice you there."

"That's alright. You seemed to be off in your own little world. I do that sometimes, when I'm looking over my work and–" the dark human woman stopped and slapped a hand over her face. "Bollocks! Sorry, I didn't even introduce myself! Sorry, start again! Hi. I'm Samantha Traynor. You can call me Sam or Traynor – everyone else does. I'm the comm specialist."

The Warden shook the offered hand. It was interestingly pleasing to hear the woman speak with an accent similar to her own. "Elaine Cousland. It's a pleasure."

"Mind if we join you?" Traynor asked hopefully. Elaine gestured to the seats opposite her.

"I hope you don't mind me as well," Liara said as she tentatively slid into her seat. "Traynor insisted I join you."

"Well," Traynor shrugged. "I thought it was about time all us girls on board the ship got to know each other. Welcome each other officially to the Normandy."

Elaine frowned. "Should we not invite EDI, then?"

Traynor's cheeks blushed brilliantly, her eyes darting around the room uncomfortably. "I already checked. She's busy."

"Are you sure you're not just avoiding her?" Liara murmured with a smirk. Her eyes were glinting with mischief as she turned to Elaine. "Poor Traynor's been feeling a little awkward since EDI obtained her new body."

"Why?" the Warden asked. "Have you a problem with AI's?"

Traynor nearly choked in her rush to amend the situation. "No, no! Gosh, no! It's just… _awkward_ …"

 _"_ _Specialist Traynor has been avoiding me,"_ sounded the voice of EDI from above, _"because she is embarrassed about her previous conduct when I led her to believe I was a mere VI upon our first meeting. I believe she found my voice arousing."_

Traynor sunk into her chair so low, she almost slipped off. "Thanks for announcing that to the entire ship, EDI…"

 _"_ _There is no need to be embarrassed, Traynor. I hold no offence over the matter. In fact, I am flattered."_

"Thank you! PLEASE shut up!"

Elaine couldn't stop herself; she laughed. A belly-full, aching laugh. Liara's twinkling chuckles accompanied her, and after a moment to get over her embarrassment, even Traynor chortled.

"It's good to see you laughing, Elaine," Liara said as their merriment eased. When Elaine cocked a brow, she immediately backed down. "Sorry. I know we have not really gotten to know each other. But I've been friends with Shepard and Garrus for a long time. I care about them. And they care about you. I hope we can grow to be friends as we work together."

"I would like that too, Liara." And she meant it. One thing Elaine had noticed even when in her maddening state, was the absence of Tali on this ship. Her best friend in this new world was gone, and Elaine had no way of contacting her. Though she wished to find her eventually, it would not hurt to make some new friends in the meantime. "And for what it's worth, you're getting off to a great start. After everything that's _happened_ recently, it's nice to experience even a small semblance of normal."

Traynor grinned. "Then that's a victory to us! I always said a little bit of normal goes a long way."

"I don't think anyone has ever said that," said Liara. "But even I must admit it's nice to just relax and talk about this."

"Yeah. Shepard practically ordered me to drag you out of that office. Thought you were getting too caught up in your work."

"I was." The asari looked at the table, as if the depths of the deepest pool could be found on its surface. "But there's so much to do. In a war like this, nothing ever seems enough…"

"I know how that feels, Liara." Elaine reached across the table and gently laid her hand on the other woman's. "But you're right. Talking like this helps."

"It does." Traynor said, offering a comforting hand on Liara's shoulder and a friendly smile to Elaine. "I know we're not therapists like Chambers was, Elaine, but we're always here to talk. Whether that be just girl time, or completely non-judging outsider-point-of-view talk."

"Thank you." The Warden bowed her head. "And for what it's worth, Traynor? I much prefer you over Chambers. Don't get me wrong, nothing was the matter with the woman, she was just a little too… _overbearing_ for my tastes."

The three of them talked a while longer. And it was as they had all agreed: behaving in a way that felt even slightly normal helped to ease the burden on all of their minds for just a brief time. Elaine could not put into words how much she appreciated these two women for that small luxury. Yes, she decided, this was the start of a great friendship indeed.

" _Hola señoritas!_ " shouted a voice. Around the corner came Vega, smiling and strutting, as usual. Behind him came the big Krogan Clan Leader that Elaine remembered from when she had briefly visited Tuchanka. Urdnot Wrex. He was just as massive and fierce-looking as she remembered. He stomped behind Vega with such force, Elaine was surprised the floor didn't vibrate underneath him.

"Wrex. Vega." Liara greeted. "You two muscle-heads come down for an eavesdrop?"

"Nah," Vega grinned, arms spread in a wide shrug. "Just showing this old fossil some real food!"

"Ha!" barked Wrex. "This Pyjak wouldn't know _real_ food if it bit him in the quads. And on Tuchanka – it does."

"Hey, Lola?" Vega suddenly turned on Elaine, nudging her shoulder with a little more force than necessary, though a goofy grin was split his face. "We still on for our dance later?"

She smirked. "And miss the chance to beat your arse again? Never."

"Dance?" Traynor asked, wide-eyed.

"Vega and I like to fist fight down in the cargo bay. Helps to keep us on our toes."

Vega leaned both hands on the table, eyes smouldering as he purred, "Welcome to join us, Traynor."

Each of the women exchanged eyerolls and good-natured smiles. Traynor finally sighed and threw Vega the middle finger. "Vega, if you haven't gotten the hint by now, I'll spell it out. I don't swing that way."

"I know! I ain't totally brainless." If it were possible, his flirtatious grin got even wider. "Nah. I wanna see you and Elaine go at it. You know… close-contact, sweaty bodies…"

"Reach and flexibility…" Elaine mumbled into her drink.

"Vega, I must say, I feel a little put out." Liara abruptly announced. "I think I'm the only one you haven't flirted with."

Instantly, Vega straightened, all hints of amusement gone. "And hit on Loco's woman? Nah, Doc. I ain't got that much of a death wish."

As they all laughed, Wrex looked from one alien to the other. Finally, it seemed he had enough, and released a powerful blast of air through his nostrils. "Is this some kind of human courtship? All this prancing around? Krogan aren't like this at all. We get right to the meat straight away."

Elaine feigned being appalled. "You don't think to woo your women, Wrex? No wonder they all decided to live in completely separate clans."

"Well, yeah we _can_ court our females, but…" Wrex grimaced. "All they wanna do is talk about it, then think about it. Then talk about it some more!"

"Can't be that hard for you, Wrex," suggested Traynor. "Being the Clan Leader, you must have the pick of the bunch,"

"Yeah, _hombre_ ," Vega said, elbowing Wrex's ribs. "You must have 'em crawlin' at your feet!"

"Your reputation certainly has _grown in stature_ since I last saw you, Wrex." Said Liara.

Wrex snapped his red slit-pupiled eyes on the asari with deadly scrutiny. "Are you saying I've gained weight?"

There was no way she could contain her smile. "It just means there's more of the legend to love."

* * *

Laughter from just outside the doors couldn't pierce its way into the Battery. Its sole occupant was too hard at work on his console. Not his usual calibrations, they had been left abandoned for the past two hours. Not even the distraction of his work could pull him away from this task that gnawed at his worrying heart. Instead, Garrus was attempting to contact what was left of the Turian chain of communication.

Even with his unwanted elevation of status in the Turian Hierarchy, Garrus still had to make frequent requests to get through to the right department. He kept inquiring after the same people. Castis Vakarian. Solana Vakarian. He had to know they were safe. He'd already been deployed away from home when the Reapers hit. Not a word had gotten to him about his family since then. The staggering numbers of casualties constantly coming in… it was easy to reconcile them as just blotches of ink on a datapad, nothing real. But the reality that his father or sister could be any one of those numbers he saw every day? It made him shiver.

All Turians had basic combat training, he reminded himself. Solana and his father were more than capable of handling themselves. Except that it had only been a few months after Mom had passed, and his father hadn't been the same since…

And response to his inquiry flashed up on the console. Snapped back to the present, Garrus tried to squash down the leap in his heartbeat. He had to be prepared for the worst, he told himself, even if it killed him to even think it.

Nothing, was the response. Still no confirmation on whether his family were alive or dead. Again.

Talons balled into fists. A growl rose up in his throat. He kicked out at the wall with a vicious snarl. Damn it! Why couldn't he get a win in this dreadful galaxy?! First the Reapers took Palaven, despite everything he'd done in the fight to slow them down. Then no matter what tactic he tried, the Reapers cut down his people like a toddler stamping on ants. The woman he loved had been taken and traumatised by Cerberus. The Salarians and Asari were doing shit-all to help whilst his world burned. The krogan were asking for the impossible. And now no one could tell him if his family were even alive!

Desperation made him feel frantic with an urge to be doing _something_ yet unable to move. He clawed at the back of his neck-plates, trying to take out his frustration on any kind of physical pain. All he needed was some results, it didn't matter how small. Whether that be securing this alliance with the Krogan or maybe a report of some small victory against the Reapers. He had to make it happen, had to make sure they made it…

He stopped short and snorted. Him? Who was he kidding? For not the first time, Grrus hung his head and allowed the enormity of his situation to settle on his shoulders. What had his people seen in him when they had appointed him as Reaper Advisor? Wasn't it obvious that he didn't have what it takes to be what they needed him to be? After all, his life had just been one long list of failures up until this point. Failed to make it to be a Spectre. Failed C-SEC Officer. Bailed out on Spectre-Training _again_. Failed vigilante.

 _Don't focus on that, Vakarian,_ he reprimanded himself harshly. There was no time for moping about. He just had to keep his head in the game and just keep himself from drowning for a little while longer.


	11. The Nest

**Author's Note: Sorry this chapter is late, lovely readers. I (stupidly) misplaced my glasses at the weekend, and whilst I don't need them for anything else, I do need them whilst working on a computer - otherwise my eyeballs melt out of my head. So, unfortunately, it delayed me in working on this chapter for you. But now I've found them again, and I promise to get the next chapter up at the usual time!**

 **Some mild warnings for disturbing imagery. But nothing any Dragon Age veteran can't handle.**

* * *

"So, what exactly are these things we're hunting?" Elaine asked as she hoped out of the shuttle.

"Rachni." Shepard grunted. "Giant bugs with a nasty attitude. Wrex heard rumours there'd been sightings out here, so he sent a scouting team. They didn't report back."

"It's strange he heard any rumours at all," Liara said, stepping up beside Elaine. "The Rachni were declared officially extinct over a thousand years ago. And Shepard destroyed the very last one back on Noveria."

"That's why we're meeting this Krogan special forces team. Be prepared for anything."

Elaine glanced around at the dusty, barren, rocky landscape. A hot wind blew dust through her hair. She could almost hear Garrus' dry humour in her head. A pity he couldn't come along – he had wanted to, anything to get away from his desk, but Primarch Victus had held him back to go over strategies. The Warden felt particularly sorry for him.

As they walked down the hill towards the large camp they'd seen as they'd flown in, they were greeted by a wall of muscled Krogans in heavy armour. Elaine made to tense, ready to reach for her sword at a moment's notice, when a Krogan from the back pushed through. His armour was still a shining silver, and even from this distance, Elaine could see the bright blue of his eyes.

With a grin, she broke out in a run. "Grunt!"

"Shepard! Elaine!" Grunt roared jovially, wide mouth spread in a smile of delight.

Several hundred pounds of Krogan muscle and armour did not make for a very soft landing as Elaine slammed into him. She threw her arms around him briefly, before pulling back and punching him in the arm. "Where, in Andraste's knickers, have you been?"

He affectionately returned the thump on the arm (though in Elaine's case, the blow nearly sent her tumbling). When Shepard and Liara caught up, Grunt shook the Commander's hand enthusiastically. "Could ask you two the same question. Didn't those idiots lock you up?"

Elaine froze. She and the Commander shared a brief look, before Shepard answered vaguely, "Yeah, but… The situation's changed. Council's all tied up with the Reapers."

"They got bigger problems now, alright," Grunt chortled unsympathetically. "That's why I'm out here, running Aralakh Company." He gestured to the band of Krogan warriors behind him, each one looking to be at well into their adulthood, if the fully-formed crests on their heads were any indication. "They're tough, think they're invincible. Reckless but effective."

"Sounds like someone I know," Shepard smirked. "How did you go from being new and unproven to leading your own men?"

"Wasn't easy. When Wrex put Aralakh Company together, he needed a leader who represented the future of our species. But thanks to you, I completed my Rite of Passage. I was an equal! And being the strongest, I was chosen to lead this honoured company."

Elaine cocked a brow. "And I bet some didn't respond well to a _Tank-Bred_ being in charge?"

Grunt leaned in close, and said in an overly loud stage-whisper, "The Beserker Training really threw them for a loop – didn't know what hit 'em. I collected a few scars earning my place here. These Krogan respect me."

"You were a pain in the ass, Grunt," Shepard nodded, and Elaine felt genuine warmth when she saw a sincere secret smile on the Commander's lips. "But if they're half the soldier you are, we might make it outta here."

"Ha! Glad you're here to crack some head's, Shepard!" Grunt grinned and knocked Shepard's arm. "Hard to believe this might be Rachni. Seems crazy."

At the mere mention of their real purpose here, Shepard instantly became serious. "We don't know if it's Rachni _yet_. Let's keep our heads till we find the missing scouts."

"There was no activity when we came in, Shepard." Liar piped up. "Only the SOS signal from within the tunnels."

"Agreed." Grunt nodded, his eyes narrowing as the focused on the distant cave system at the bottom of a deep gorge. "But this whole place… it smells wrong. Like a bad wound. Our scans show the tunnels lead deep to a large central point. If we're lucky, it's a nest."

Despite the fact that Elaine skin was crawling at the thought of willingly going into a nest of giant-spiders, she ramped up her bravado and nudged the young Krogan. "Ready to go bug-hunting, Grunt?"

His grin was wide and full of teeth.

There were multiple entrances into the tunnel network, so they decided to split up. Grunt and his Aralakh Company took the higher cliff-side entrance, whilst Shepard, Elaine and Liara took the lower opening at the bottom of the gorge. Almost immediately upon entering, the team were enveloped in near-complete darkness. Light was sucked out of the world, leaving them with only shadows on shadows. Their suits reacted instantly to the change of light, a torch on their breastplates clicking on to illuminate the immediate area in front of them. Elaine didn't think it _that_ much of an improvement, as it restricted her vision to a small area just in front of her.

"Why do the nests always have to be in the dark?" whispered Liara as they turned the corner, and not even the slight light from the entrance behind them could penetrate the blackness.

"Take it easy, nice and slow." Shepard murmured back under his breath. "Check every nook and cranny – we don't want anything jumpin' out at us from behind."

They travelled onward and downward, the tunnels seeming to be excavated in a constant downward winding direction. As they moved along, they checked in every alcove and opening, making sure to be thorough in the hunt for their prey. As they journeyed on, they found evidence of the missing Krogan scouts, whether that be a footprint here, or the wrapper of a protein bar there, or maybe an old extinguished flare they'd used to light their way. But other than these small glimpses of previous life, they found no bodies, or fresh indications of anyone still alive. A quick report over their comms to Grunt confirmed that they too had not encountered anything alive or dead yet.

They'd been stalking down the caverns for over an hour, when the structure of the tunnels themselves began to change. They went from being a naturally formed burrow to harsh carved out punctures in the earth. It was as if someone had gouged out these tunnels cruelly but effectively, with no thought for structural integrity or smoothness of the walls. What's more, they oddly found flaming torches set in the walls to offer light nd cast dancing shadows on the sharp angles of the stone. At such clear evidence of life, Shepard began to walk a lot slower.

A tickle traced its way along the back of Elaine's mind, a whisper of music she could only just make out. Her blood began to hum in her veins, the sensation came with a feeling of foulness, as if a poison had seeped under her skin. At the tell-tale sign, she stopped dead in her tracks, frozen to the spot.

"Elaine?" Shepard asked quietly, having noticed her stop and turned to look at her.

Her eyes found the Commander, the slight quiver in her voice telling him exactly of the gravity of the situation. "The Taint."

Cocking his head inquisitively, Shepard silently asked if she could clarify. Was it like the Collectors? Cerberus? Or ws it just a general feeling of the taint's touch in the environment itself? In truth, Elaine could not tell. It was faint, but unmistably there. She did not hear the dissonant music the she'd gotten accustomed to in the Collectors and now Cerberus. Instead, the faint music was wonderful yet terrible at the same time.

Even when they carried on with the utmost care, now prepared for more threats besides the supposed Rachni, Elaine felt theywre being too loud, too obvious. She couldn't help her mind spinning back in time to when she and her companions had stalked the Deep Roads. They'd all understood the importance of stepping without a sound, of taking the tunnels that wouldn't be heavily populated. Her and Alistair's sense of the Darkspawn had been invaluable. Was this similar? Elaine was uncertain.

They came across a small circular chamber, with many tunnel entrances branching off in different directions. The hum in Elaine's blood grew with intensity. There was definitely signs of the Taint here, the walls of the cave were coated in the oily, dry, snake-skin manifestation of its corruption. But that wasn't what held the group's attention. All across the floor, were body-pieces. Krogan pieces. Arms, jaws, legs, organs, all littered around as if the unwanted pieces had been thrown aside. The walls were splattered with blood, interspersed with black blasts from gunfire, and scratches and chunks missing from the stone where someone had smashed fists into the wall.

"By the Goddess…" whispered Liara, horrified.

The Commander immediately spoke into his earpiece. "Grunt, this is Shepard. Found some of your scouts. None of them made it."

 _"_ _Yeah, seen some bits of them this way too. Bad way to go."_ Said Grunt. _"We'll meet up at the pass ahead. Stay in one piece, Shepard."_

Elaine bent down at one of the corpses, the chest cavaty broken apart and the organs within harvested. She gingerly touched the pulpy mess on the floor, that seemed part gore, part Blight-corruption. The feeling couldn't be shaken from her mind that this all felt awfully similar. Was it too different from the Deep Roads?

"What do you think did this?" Liara asked as she studied the black soot on the cavewalls. "Rachni?"

Shepard shook his head. "Seems too… _much_. Looks like these poor guys were torn apart just to cause some pain." Fortifying himself, Shepard picked a random tunnel and went for it. "Come on, not much further until–"

Elaine gave a wordless grunt as her mind started screaming with the awful music. Her blood pounded in her ears. A pressure up ahead told her where they were a second before they appeared. "Shepard! On your left–!"

Her warning gave the Commander just enough time to turn and get his weapon up to act as a shield against the monster that sprang from the dark. It came at him with such force both it and Shepard were flung across the chamber. From the tunnel behind it, more monsters sprang forth all grunting their brutish roaring tongue that no translator could decipher – it was the language of evil. On instinct, Liara threw up a singularity to stem the flow from the tunnel. Elaine, having gotten over her initial shock, ran into action. She let loose a blood-curdling roar, drawing the attention of almost half a dozen of the monsters. They converged on her, and Elaine expertly ducked to stab one in the stomach whilst getting her shield up to block a blow from another. Launching herself upwards and sideways, she disembowled her first opponanent, spun and sliced the throat of a second whilst her shield bashed in the head of a third. The fourth she kicked to the away. Four and five came at her simultaneously, forcing the Warden to keep up a fast-paced trade of block and parry for a few moments before she could get an opportunity to strike. With them down, she ran back to number four, her sword stabbing into his heart.

Gurgling on its own blood, the thing still had the audacity to gruntingly laugh up at her. Its wide, lipless, fanged mouth hung almost saggingly. Flesh a mixture between rotting meat, bone and scaly hide, reeked of decay. Its armour and weapons were crude and poorly made. It was proportioned like a human body, but its black eyes were soulless and filled with nothing but evil and hate.

"What are these things?!" she heard Shepard shout disdustedly as he pulled out his shotgun, blasting the creature closest to him.

"Hurlocks!" Elaine proclaimed, though she had hoped to never see these things again. It was so much to take in. The Darkspawn, _here_. Her invisible shields flashed purple as they halted two arrows, forcing the Warden to bring up her shield in time to deflect the others that followed. On either side of the tunnel entrance were two Hurlock Archers. Elaine grit her teeth and shouted: "Liara, take out the archers! Shepard, hit hard and fast!"

They did as she instructed. Liara used her magic to help dispatch those at the fringes. Elaine and Shepard rushed in, never letting up the pressure, always going with such force and speed tht the Hurlocks had little time to adapt. It didn't seem to take very long after that, for the last of the Hurlock's to fall. Even then, Elaine felt every nerve on high-alert. She needed to now listen more closely to her senses, needed to give them whatever time she could afford them.

"Everyone alright? No wounds?" she asked as she turned back to her companions. "Did any of their blood get on your skin?"

Liara hid her nose in the crook of her elbow to try and not breathe in the stink of one Darkspawn whose guts decorated the floor at her feet. "N-No, I don't so…"

"Elaine," Shepard panted, "what the fuck just happened?!"

"These, Commander Shepard… are Darkspawn." Elaine knelt beside one of the corpses, brows furrowed as she studied the Darkspawn. At a passing glance, she had thought they were like other Hurlocks she had seen. But since when were the Darkspawn's bodies laced with… metal and wires? "They're Hurlocks – Darkspawn version of a human. But I've never encountered ones like this before. I've never seen them be so… mechanical."

"Look at their eyes… just like a Husk's." Shepard knelt beside her, poking a gloved finger at the skull. "You don't think–"

"It would be reasonable to assume the Reapers have repurposed them," said Liara. "They already knew of Elaine's world, it's why the Collectors were infected with the Taint. They must be shipping them off to other planets, shaping them to suit their needs."

Elaine's frown deepened. "But that doesn't make sense… Why–"

"We've got no time to theorise now." Shepard cut her off and stood quickly. "Grunt? No evidence of Rachni here. It's the Darkspawn."

 _"_ _Yeah,"_ said the Krogan, _"We just got out of a scrape too, they set an ambush for us. Lost only one, though."_

"Grunt, listen to me," Elaine pressed a finger to her own earpiece, voice urgent. "You need to make sure your men do not get contaminated by their blood. If just a drop gets on one of your open wounds, or you accidentally swallow some, the consequences are deadly. Do you understand?"

 _"_ _Copy that. Might want to double time it up here, Shepard. Think I found what's left of our scouts."_

They followed their omnitools to Grunt's coordinates. Elaine automatically took point at the front of the group. She pushed her sixth sense to the furthest she could, determined to not be so unattentive again. At the very edges of her mind, she could just make out the Darkspawn. Whilst they were far away, she hardly felt any safer.

Further down the twisting and winding tunnels, they found Grunt at the end of a great bridge. The walkway was covered in the black ichor of Darkspwn blood. Aralakh Company looked no worse for wear, even if they did appear a little shaken. Grunt himself was splattered in gore, though thankfully none was near his mouth.

"These Darkspawn things have backed off for now, but they can smell our wounds." He told them as soon as Elaine and the others approached. "Any worthy enemy would regroup and finish us. Soon. You all okay?"

"Sure," Shepard nodded. "Where's the scouts?"

"All over the place…"

Grunt thrust his head to one side, indicating a passage leading off into the dark. Elaine was the first to enter, the torch in her suit lighting the way. It was a small chamber, smaller than the one where they'd been ambushed. All across the room were Krogan corpses, each in various stages of decomposition and of being eaten. Older bodies, so rotten they were barely recognisable, were stuffed in one corner. The stench that permeated the air, was horrendous.

"Krogans aren't that easy to take down," said Shepard. "Must've attacked them in droves…"

From the corner of her eye, Elaine noticed Liara stop beside one of the bodies. "Wait, I know this one. He used to live on Illium,"

Elaine studied him. He looked younger than those in Aralakh Company, his shoulders not as muscular. There was a certain softness around his eyes, something that made him seem less dangerous than the others. Whilst his back had been torn open for his insides to be feasted on, one arm was bent underneath his chest protectively, something clutched in his hands.

The Warden carefully reached in to pry the small device from his cold and stiff fingers. "What's this…"

Smearing the blood from the glass, she realised it was a Datapad. At her touch, the screen flickered to life, at first distorted, but slowly the image began to settle, and words appeared. With everyone now watching her, Elaine read aloud:

 _'_ _O Blue Rose of Illium, if these humble words reach you, then I have joined my ancestors. My dream was to be by your side, a weed beside your beauty, twining together in the warm Tuchanka sun.'_

"A Krogan Poet?" Shepard looked bemused.

"Yes," said Liara, "I remember. He was infatuted with an Asari clerk. When I went to the markets, I saw him shouting love poems at her."

Grunt shrugged. "He and his Asari mate came to Tuchanka few months back. Reception wasn't as welcoming as she'd hoped, I think."

Elaine continued: _'But instead, I led you foolishly into the dark, my love! I know you wanted to prove to my krannt that your thorns held just as much sting as your petals held beauty. For that, I shall admire you for all eternity. Neither of us knew the dangers this garden held for us. The beasts came for us and now we're all suffering the vilest depravity, one by one. And soon it shall be my turn._

 _'_ _Should anyone find this message, I beg of you, find my Blue-Illium-Rose. Rescue her and give her this message. The monsters took her, plucked her away from me. And I know they've been cutting pieces of the rest of us to feed her–"_

Realisation slammed into Elaine so hard, the datapad fell from her limp fingers to smash against the floor. "Oh shit…"

"What?" Shepard asked. "What is it?"

It started to make sense. These Darkspawn were not just randomly placed here. The Reapers didn't just drop off a platoon of soldiers on some random uninhabited world. It was as Grunt had said earlier, all these tunnels led to a centrl point. "This is a nest…"

"Elaine, we've said that already, there's no Rachni–"

"No. Not a Rachni nest," her skin was crawling, horrible memories coming to the surface where she had otherwise wish they'd been buried. "This is something far, _far_ worse…"

As if pulled in a dream, the Warden followed her feet down the only passageway left to them. The way was cramped and dank and dark. Faintly, she was aware of the others following behind her, compelled to discover the horror she already knew she would find. They were drowned out by the sickening poem that rang inside her skull, Hespith's emotionless yet devastated chant echoing through her.

"First day the come, and catch everyone…" she said in a hushed voice. "Second day, they beat us and eat some for meat. Third day, the men are all gnawed on again…"

Up ahead, she could make out the end of the tunnel. The bones in her hands were starting to ache from the force of gripping her sword so tightly. She hadn't even realised she'd been clenching it so hard.

"Fourth day we wait and fear for our fate," her own voice was beginning to grow emotionless, even as she fought the urge to be sick. "Fifth day they return, and it's another girl's turn. Sixth day her screams we hear in our dreams."

Shepard's concerned voice tried to break the spell. "Elaine? You wanna stop being creepy as fuck and tell me what's going on?"

"This is what they do, Shepard." Was all she told him. "Seventh day, she grew as in her mouth they spew. Eighth day we hated as she is violated. Ninth day she grins, and she devours her kin…"

They all came through the archway. In the middle of the floor before was sat a figure, shaking, racking back and forth. Her skin, once blue had turned pale and blotched with bruises and decay. Her clothes were little more than tattered shreds. Her skin was swollen and stretched, tumourous-looking lumps protruding from her back, legs and arms. A mournful whimpering could be heard from the figure. Upon hearing the strangers enter, the Asari looked up at them. Her mouth was turned black, her eyes glazed over with white. Her jowls were already starting to distort, the crest on the asari's head seemed to be contorting out of shape. She looked ready to die. But death was not coming for her.

"Oh – goddess!" Liara gasped in horror.

Elaine just stood there. "Now she does feast… as she's become the Beast."


	12. The Broodmother

**Wow, you guys! 100 reviews! Thank you so much! Your responses last chapter were so wonderful! Thank you, all of you! Let's keep this up, shall we? ;)**

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The others stood frozen behind her, but Elaine was not paying them much attention. With great pity in her heart and revulsion under her skin, she approached the Asari with trepid steps. The Asari's jaw shivered, as if she were about to burst into tears. Her head twitched at the sound of each of the Warden's footsteps.

"I know you're there!" her voice was a hoarse croak, barely able to form words where it was already attempting to growl and bark like an animal. "You come close – you make my blood burn! Your song is not the same as the other one I hear."

Elaine knelt beside the poor soul before her. "I'm sorry. I do not wish to make you uncomfortable. Do you want me to leave?"

"Leave?" the Asari cackled insanely. "You made _them_ go away. Only a little while – I can still hear them, I can feel them inside me. It's always only a little while. Then they come back. They make you do _horrible_ things. But you sent them away. A little while longer. Please make it longer – just a little longer."

Slowly, Elaine reached out to place her hand on the Asari's shoulder. The alien woman immediately screamed at the contact and pulled herself away jerkily, curling over her knees more. Elaine had to fight the bile rising in her throat. The disgusting feel of the Darkspawn's poison made it seem as if her hand were throbbing where she'd dared touch the Asari.

But she would not be cruel. "Do you have a name? We found your mate's note, he said–"

"No – no!" The Asari yelled, panicked. "Don't talk about _him_. He does not exist! He only lives in sweet waking dreams, yelling about a flower, a beautiful blue flower. Oh, he does love that flower. And that flower is so beautiful. But now it's bad – it's dirty! Don't make me think that!"

"Then tell me what happened to you,"

Lips trembling, the Asari began to shake all over to keep in her emotions. " _He_ promised the flower love. So much love. And children. At first, the flower thought _he_ only wanted her to be his baby-making-machine. But _he_ loved the flower, honestly. He took her to his home, but the flower never felt welcome. So, when he was going to be sent away, to fight, she didn't want to be left alone with his people who hated her. The flower once had combat training. She had biotics. She could help.

"Everything was fine," the Asari continued, her voice dropping to a whisper, as if her words would summon the monsters about to appear in her story. "But then the ground opened. And _they_ came! Horrible, vile, dirty things! They killed so many. The others they brought together, and killed like sheep. But not the flower. They took away the flower. Did so many awful things to her, even made her eat – _No!_ Don't make me see that again!"

Throwing her arms in the air, she buried her face in her hands. She hid the tears she could no longer weep, instead only a sickly black oil escaping her eyes. With her arms no longer obscuring her midriff from sight, Elaine got a peek at what she was hiding. Her heart sank. The asari's stomach was already swollen and distended oddly as if from the most abnormal pregnancy imaginable.

"They hurt me!" she cried. "They forced themselves in me, again and again and _again_! I couldn't stop it – why? Why make me eat them? Why make me eat my Charr!"

Elaine's heart could bare it no longer. Despite her every nerve cringing at the thought, she pulled the Asari into her arms. Like a child clinging to any form of comfort, the poor woman gripped hold of her tightly. She wept so hard her whole back bobbed up and down from the force. In hushed tones, Elaine attempted to sooth the poor woman.

Yet even as she did so, her mind was spinning. The asari was in the process of being turned. She had the clear potential to be a Broodmother. So it begged the questionas to why the Darkspawn would abandon her, leave her alone at all? Usually, the Darkspawn guarded their Broodmothers with extreme ferocity, the only thing they fought harder for, was the protection of the Archdemon. So why?

She was aware of Shepard and the others carefully inching closer. The Commander's voice was surprisingly gentle when he spoke. "We can have a member of Aralakh Company take her back to the shuttle. Get her some help."

The Asari buried her face in Elaine's breastplate. "The song – the terrible, _beautiful_ song! Make it sto– no, don't! I need the music! The sweet music!"

"It's alright, my dear," Elaine murmured, rubbing the poor unfortunate woman's back in comforting circles. "The pain will bother you no more."

And snatching up her sword, she slit the Asari's throat.

" _NO!"_ Liara screamed.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Shepard demanded, looking aghast at the body that the Warden carefully placed upon the floor.

Elaine's eyes were as if carved from ice. "This is what the Darkspawn _do_ , Shepard! This is how they reproduce. They take women, rape them, force other untold horrors on them, and turn them into Broodmothers. They are Darkspawn-making machines." With her sword still stained with blood, she pointed to the dead asari between herself and Shepard. "It's what they were trying to do to her. There is no cure, there was no way to help her. The only thing we could've done was show her mercy. No. Our course of action now, is to destroy this nest."

"There's more victims like her?"

"These ones would be fully transitioned – beyond saving. Those Hurlocks," she pointed her sword to the cave they'd just come through, "were spawned by a once-human-turned-Broodmother. She must've been moved here. We need to make sure this entire place is destroyed."

"Can't the Normandy do that?" asked Grunt.

Shepard shook his head. "These tunnels lead too far down. We could blow up the upper levels, but we wouldn't be able to penetrate the lower ones."

"Grunt!" Elaine whirled on the Krogan. "You said your scans showed these tunnels all leading to a central chamber! What if we can make that structurally unstable?"

"Like a bomb?" Liara asked.

"Got that covered," Grunt chuckled darkly. "Aralakh Company's packing enough heat to blow a Krogan-hospital!"

"Can we set the bomb and then have the Normandy do the rest?" Elaine asked Shepard. "Will that work?"

"Maybe," he said. "But it's worth a shot."

Looting the bodies of the dead Krogans, they found enough thermal clips to hopefully see them through the upcoming battle. Shepard and Grunt put their heads together over the scans of the tunnel system's layout. Sumarising the best route to reach the central chamber, they also planned out where best to plant the explosives. Elaine was only half aware of anything, standing by at the edge of the chamber, stretching her mind to check the location of the Darkspawn nearby. When she was satisfied they were still some ways off, she reluctantly turned back and headed for the group.

"The Broodmother will be heavily guarded," she said, standing before them all, shoulders squared and voice projecting with authority. "I can get us to her around the main bulk of her protectors. But even then, once we attack her, she will call on them to defend her." She eyed the Krogans scoldingly. "Don't underestimate her. The Broodmother is not defenceless. Attack at range to whittle her down. Only go in when I tell you to."

And then she approached Liara, handing her a small knife Elaine always kept in her boot. An assassin's knife. Liara frowned at the object, perplexed. "What are you doing?"

"I don't want to contemplate this." It was the truth. Even though she had only just gotten to know this Asari, the thought of what she was about to ask of her made her feel ill. "But I order you to stay close to any one of us. Whatever happens, do _not_ get stranded from the group. Do not let them separate you. Guard yourself to the extreme. Do you understand?"

"Y-Yes."

"And should the worst come to worst…" she pushed the knife to Liara's chest. "Don't let yourself become one of them."

They headed out. Elaine took point, shield always up, sword out and at the ready. Shepard was right on her heels, and she could tell he was tense about letting another person take charge. Unfortunately, it couldn't be helped. Elaine had the most experience in this situation, and she wasn't about to lose anyone to the Darkspawn. Her mind was still spinning over the fact that they were here, somehow. Suddenly, the threat of her nightmares, that she had thought to be a distant memory relegated to her dying homeworld, was now here and back with a vengeance. The how and the why could be discovered later, for now, she had to follow the plan.

As they descended deeper, they suddenly heard a continuous soft beeping. Curious, Elaine led the way in the direction of the noise. In a small alcove just off the path, was a pile of small black boxes. The boxes looked electrical in nature, with wires sparking out from them. Red lights flashed in time with the rhythmic beeping.

"What are these?" she asked.

"SOS beacons," Grunt murmured, reaching past her and hoisted one up. "Here's the one from the scouts' ship we answered."

Shepard rubbed his stubbled chin. "Weren't the scouts themselves supposed to be investigating trouble in the area? Other distress calls drew them in, didn't it?"

"It's a trap," Elaine said gravely. "Clever. A little _too_ clever for Darkspawn. They're luring in ships full of people. They attack, take suitable females and use the rest as food. They're then using the beacons to lure in others."

"But then why haven't we seen the abandoned ships of these victims?"

"That's right…" said Liara. "Why haven't we? I didn't see a single ship on any of the terrain near here."

Grunt growled. "Not even the scouts' ship."

Shepard turned to Elaine. "Could the Darkspawn learn how to steer a ship? What would theiy use it for?"

"Darkspawn aren't that smart," Elaine argued, "only when an Archdemon is awake would they have that mental capacity. Could the Reapers be steering them to do this?"

"Either way, this ends now."

Liara spent a few minutes deactivating the SOS Beacons, to be sure that no one else would fall for this horrible bait. With that done, they carried on down the way. As they did, Elaine could feel the Darkspawn more pressing against her mind. Their foulness was in their very auras that she could feel on the other side of the tunnel walls all around them. She shivered. The corruption felt like stinking tar was oozing under her veins. The hate, the evil in the very air, it was starting to take an effect on them all. Already, Elaine could tell that all their tempers were starting to get a little short.

As she'd promised, Elaine used her unique abilities to guide the group around the main bulk of the Darkspawn guarding the way to their Broodmother. There was still some strangelers they had to deal with, but Elaine and Liara took care of the issue. The Warden knew that the sound of gunfire would do nothing but attract the others.

Just outside the central chamber, the group found wires and strange devices protruding from the walls or snaking along the floor. The objects glowed with an electrical light, their mere presence seemed to press upon the mind like a headache about to set in. Elaine and Shepard exchanged a significant glance. Definitely signs of the Reapers.

Finally, they found a small opening into the central chamber. It led onto a rocky overhang at the top of the chamber. Far below, the chamber itself was wide and long, to allow for the size of the one who called it home. The Broodmother was sprawled out on the floor in all her massive, swollen unholiness. A vaguely human-shaped head was the only thing that resembled what this woman must once have been. Her eyes were sunken in, her hair gone to leave her bald. Her skin was stretched to be little more than roles dangling from her face. Her round arms were like stubby sausages stuck out of the side of her torso. From that point down, there were no more similarities to a human form. Five pairs of breasts, each pair larger and wider than the last dangled and wobbled over the Broodmother's rotund belly. Her back was so swollen it more resembled a slug, the skin stretched to the point of near transparency, where Elaine was disgusted to see each embryotic sack packed in by the dozen inside her, each with a new darkspawn forming within. The legs could not be seen, instead, tentacles lay limp and curled around the Broodmother, as if waiting for the next offspring to appear to cradle and press to a teat to feed them.

Elaine looked to her companions and noted the looks of horror and disgust on each of their faces. She caught each of their attention and directed them to move along the overhang. If they could surround the Broodmother from above, their guns could take her out after long enough. The Krogan shuffled along, as quietly as their bulk could allow. Apparently it wasn't stealthy enough. Elaine saw too late the one member of Aralakh company who didn't watch were his feet went, saw his toes tap onto a pebble that went skittering over the edge and fell onto the Broodmother's shoulder.

She looked up at her would-be-assassains. Her lips peeled back to reveal rotting teeth in black gums. With pig-like shriek, she sounded the alarm.

"Now!" Elaine ordered and pulled out her pistol.

They all opened fire. Gunfire roared through the chamber, flashes of flame igniting from the ends of their muzzles. Elaine knew she was a bad shot, having only had lessons once, so aimed for the belly of the beast, therefore sure not to miss. From all their bullets, holes punctured through the Broodmother, who had immediately thrown up her tentacles to shield her head. Even from the Krogans' large shotguns, it took some time to punch through the layers of fat that helped to protect the Broodmother's vital organs.

With a shriek of rage, the monster smashed a tentacle against the stone wall. The force was so great as to shake and crack the wall to such a degree that the unfortunate krogan who stood above where she struck wobbled and fell. His scream was cut short as the Broodmother's tentacle snatched him up before he could hit the floor. Holding him above her head with a scream, she used the muscled power in her tentacles to constrict and crush the Krogan in her grasp. She finished the job by swinging him and smashing him into a wall, his brains dashing against the stone.

Elaine's blood hummed right behind her. She spun just in time to find a Hurlock leap out of the darkness of the tunnel that she and the others had come in through. The Hurlock launched himself at her, claws encircling her shoulders in an attempt to pull her in to his fangs. Elaine held him at bay by bringing up her shield just in time. She didn't have enough chance, however, to check her balance, before the Hurlock's momentum sent the pair of them tumbling over the overhang and to the chamber floor.

There was only enough sense in Elaine's tumbling head to hook her leg around the Hurlock's waist and turn them. The Hurlock took the brunt of the impact. Elaine was thrown off him, end of her ponytail tumbling into her face. Groaning, she still scrambled to her feet, and unleashed her sword in one powerful swing that decapitated the rising Hurlock.

"Elaine!" she heard Shepard shout from above. She glanced up. Shepard, Grunt, Liara and the others were now too busy fighting off the Hurlocks swarming over them.

The soft ground rumbled beneath her feet. Only through previous experience did Elaine know the warning and roll out of the way before a tentacle could burst out of the ground. The appendage whipped itself around, back and forth, trying to smack the Warden in half. Elaine scuttled back out of its reach to try and get her footing. The Broodmother, spying her prey escaping, withdrew her tentacle from across the room, pulling it back into the ground. A second later, Elaine once again felt the earth tremble under her. She sidestepped to avoid the tentacle again, and as it rose up she hacked at it with her sword, keeping her shield above her head to protect from the returning strikes. Black blood splattered her front. With one final slash, the tentacle was severed. Screaming, the Broodmother withdrew her wounded tentacle entirely.

It was then that Elaine spotted her fallen pistol and dove to retrieve it. "Keep shooting!" she shouted above the cacophony of battle. Pistol raised, she aimed for the Broodmother's chest and let loose shot after shot, stepping ever closer with each one. To her satisfaction, her bullets hit the target just enough to cause red holes to appear. One in her shoulder, another in her stomach and more on her numerous sagging breasts.

Above, Liara let loose a snarl and powerful wave of biotic power lifted several Hurlock enemies at once and smashed them against the walls. This was enough for the Krogans to overturn the tide and defeat the wretched things long enough for some of their numbers to turn their weapons once more on the Broodmother.

Grunt leapt off the overhang and landed beside the Broodmother. She, shrieking in fury attempted to swat at him with her tentacles, which the tank bred caught in his large hand. Claymore pressed to her grotesque flesh, he let off a dozen shots until the tentacle was blasted away at the root. With a roar, Grunt leapt at the mother to go in for the kill, but one of her other buried tentacles managed to get free in time and swatted him out of the air.

Elaine noticed the Broodmother was beginning to lag. Filled now with too many holes of lead, blood ozzing onto the floor, her shoulders were slumping, and her gurgling breath was starting to turn into a wheeze. Knowing there was no time like the present, Elaine shouted to her favoured Krogan. "Grunt! Give me a boost!"

She ran at him, and the Krogan held out his arms to her, ready. When three paces away, she leapt up, and he caught her foot. Then, she pushed off him at the same moment he gave her an almighty push. Elaine was sent flying through the air, sword held high, icy eyes fixed on her target. The Broodmother roared at her approaching fate, but could not get away, stuck in place as she was. Starfang's blade sank into the Broodmother's skull with a sickening crunch of bone and splatter of flesh. With a twitch, the Broodmother finally went limp enough for Elaine to fall to the floor and slide her sword free. The monster writhed no more.

With the Broodmother dead and the Hurlocks above slain, quiet descended over the room. Elaine stood there glaring at the corpse, the hatred for these monsters still singing its song loudly in her ears. She was jolted to the present when Grunt thumped her shoulder. "Knew you still had it,"

Shepard and Liara jumped down to the chamber floor. "Alright everyone! Let's set these bombs and get the heck out of here!"

Hurriedly, they set the bombs around the chamber. Elaine, covered in blood and quietly taking stock of her bruises and pulled muscles that were only now making themselves known, stayed alert, listening. The death of the Broodmother had rippled along the mysterious force that connected all the Darkspawn together. She could sense restless movement of Darkspawn further in the tunnels. They were furious, filled with vengeance. What was left of them were amssing, swarming, racing through the tunnels to avenge their mother. Elaine only had to look at Shepard, alarm in her eyes to communicate how they had to get out of this place – _fast._

With Grunt in the lead and Aralakh Company taking up the rear, they all ran through the tunnels back up towards the light and freedom. It didn't take long for the closest pursuers to reach them. Two Darkspawn were waiting on a ledge above. Grunt shot them both down before they could let loose their arrows. Elaine attempted to keep up with her complaining to a minimum. But her fall in the central chamber had jarred her knee, which was now spearing her with pain in every step. Her runes in her armour helped to reduce her fatigue and imbue her with needed strength, but she still was not in top form.

Suddenly, Grunt skidded to a halt, spun, grabbing the two humans and slammed them behind a wall. Liara and the rest of Aralakh Company did the same. Once Elaine had her breath back from being winded, she was able to take stock of what made Grunt stop short. Her blood was humming at the nearness of Darkspawn. She and Shepard inched around the corner they hid behind, and spied at least two dozen Hurlocks in the adjoining tunnel.

As they pulled themselves back into the shadows, Shepard whispered as quietly as he could, "Shit! Shuttle's just down that passageway,"

"And more are coming," Elaine said. "I can feel them. Some behind us, but more definitely with those others."

Liara looked stricken. "If we don't go now, we can't go at all."

"I'll hold them off."

Elaine's head snapped to look at Grunt. His eyes were shining bright in the darkness, determined and… resigned… A ball lodged itself in her stomach. "No." she whispered, head shaking furiously. "No! That's suicide!"

Shepard looked at Grunt, mouth open as if wanting to argue. Even the Commander looked torn, distressed.

Grunt didn't seem to want to let him have time to think of a convincing argument. "Get outta here, Shepard!"

He shoved the Commander down the path he wished him to take. Shepard lingered one final moment, a broken look in his haunted dark eyes. And then, biting his lip in both anger and grief, he nodded, took hold of Liara's hand and headed for daylight, Arlakh Company following behind him.

"No!" Elaine hissed, pounding Grunt's shoulders with her fists, though all it did was hurt her rather than him – though nowhere near as much as her aching heart. "I can't let you do this!"

"I choose my death."

"Then you'll die! These are my monsters – let me be the one! I can't watch you… I can't…"

Grunt seemed quiet a moment, staring at the sparkling tears that had slipped past her furious lashes. With the curiosity of a child, he gently touched one with a fingertip. Elaine trembled at such a tender move, heart ready to break completely. Grunt offered her one last proud smile… before his hand clamped around her neck and he threw her away.

Elaine couldn't help the startled yell that was far too loud. The alerted snarls of the Darkspawn nearly drowned out Grunt's dark chuckle that she heard behind her back: "My turn…"

She fell into waiting arms and looked up to find Shepard ready to catch her. His hold tightened around her middle as he hoisted her up and carried her running. Realising what he was doing, Elaine kicked and bucked relentlessly to try and get him loose but could not.

She saw Grunt charge the Darkspawn with a bloodcurdling battle-roar. He dove into the enemy lines, shooting, punching and kicking. He didn't stop until his shotgun jammed. Then, he wrestled one Herlock to the ground and beat its head into a pulpy mess. Picking up its fallen sword, he swung it around like club. But not even he could keep them all at bay. One threw itself at his back, and whilst he was able to throw it off initially, more swarmed his legs and his shoulders until they covered him and swallowed him up.

"No!" Elaine screamed. "GRUNT!"

* * *

When they finally burst through to the outside world, daylight stung Elaine's eyes to the point of pain. Shepard shouted into his radio: "Cortez! We're the last one's out!"

 _"_ _Copy that, Commander,"_ came the instant reply. _"Shuttle is waiting."_

"EDI! Tell Garrus to prep the Thanix Cannons for a full blast on my signal!"

 _"_ _Understood."_

Finally, with her vision clearing, Elaine struggled in earnest. "Let me go, you bastard!" when her knee accidentally hit Shepard in the diaphragm, he was forced to let his grip loosen. With feet on the ground, Elaine rounded on the Commander with her full fury. "How dare you! You left him to die!"

"I had to!" he snapped back. "It was his choice. Either him or all of us!"

"How can you just say that!? He was our friend, Shepard! Or don't you care?"

His eyes blazed with fury. "Of course I fucking care! But none of that matters, Elaine. I know that the only way to win this war, is for people to die. We can't save everyone, it's impossible!"

She wished the tears would stop flowing, even when she was so mad. "We won't know that until we try!"

"Commander!"

They turned to where Liara was pointing. Elaine's jaw dropped.

Grunt stumbled, limping out of the cave. Both Elaine and Shepard were running for him at the same time. Behind Grunt, a Hurlock attempted to get one last strike at the Krogan's back. Shepard snapped up his gun and with a single shot, blasted its head off. He and Elaine caught Grunt as he fell into their arms. He was covered in blood, both the Darkspawn's and his own. Elaine's injuries protested under his weight as she threw one of his arms over her shoulders. But she couldn't care less, she was smiling too brightly, her tears of grief turned to joy.

"Grunt! You big idiot!"

He laughed tiredly. "Hey… anybody… got something… to eat?"

Even Shepard huffed a laugh. "Oh, I love you, Grunt…"


	13. The Primarch's Loss

**A/N: I apologise for any and all mistakes. My Microsoft Word is acting up and now refuses to mark if I've made any spelling mistakes. I've tried to weed out what I can, but I'm only human.**

* * *

"Still hungry, by the way. Just so you know."

Elaine's smile that had still not left her face was starting to make her cheeks ache, but she couldn't care less. "You've already eaten enough for three people, Grunt."

"I know. Still want more though."

"I'll be sure to get you some. Later."

The Warden's back was starting to go stiff from sitting in the chair at Grunt's beside. She'd been here for the last few hours, as soon as Chakwas and Mordin had said it was acceptable for her to do so. Grunt had been a little banged up when they'd dragged him on board. Elaine's joy at seeing him alive was only dampened slightly in order to stress to both doctors the importance of getting the Krogan clean of all Darkspawn blood. The wounds he suffered couldn't be infected. They'd agreed with this, and she'd left them to it. They'd not told her the results once they let her in. The worry was still gnawing at the back of her mind. But Grunt appeared to be fine to her eyes.

Chakwas wandered over, a datapad nestled in the crook of her arm that she glanced down at frequently. Elaine's shoulders tensed, the now trained reaction to the presence of a doctor setting her on edge. Through gritted teeth, she attempted to force the reaction down, to remind herself that the good woman would never intentionally hurt her. Chakwas stopped beside the machines Grunt was hooked up to, looking over his vitals and hitting a few buttons. "Well, Grunt, you took quite the beating down there."

He chuckled darkly. "You should see the other guy."

The doctor gave him a disapproving look, but it had no bite to it. The corners of her mouth twitched upwards. "I would tell you not to get into any more fights for a while. But then I have to remind myself that you are a Krogan…"

"Yeah, sitting around ain't go so well for me."

Elaine stood, attempting to keep the concern in her voice to a minimum so as not to upset Grunt. "When will he be back on his feet, Doctor?"

"Mordin says we'll be heading to Tuchanka to administer the Genophage cure next. Straight after, I will insist to Shepard that we head for the Citadel. They'll have better facilities in order to treat Grunt more thoroughly. I've patched him up for now, but if he wants to _heal,_ I suggest he stay there for a little while."

"You expect me," Grunt huffed in outrage, attempting to push himself up on his elbows, "to sit in some hospital whilst the fight for my species is happening on my homeplanet?"

"You heard her, Grunt." Elaine forcefully pushed him back down with one hand. "You need to rest. Heal. If you go charging into the fight, you'll be no help to anyone."

"Thank you, Elaine," Chakwas said.

Grunt glared at her. "Traitor."

"Keep talking, and I won't help you escape later," she whispered.

The young krogan beamed.

The soft breath of the doors opening made Elaine turn to see Garrus strutting her way. Though the turian's mandibles were positioned in such a way to indicate he was smiling, there was a tiredness in his eyes that Elaine didn't really understand. She made a note to herself to talk to him later. Garrus stopped behind her chair, his hand resting on her shoulder with a gentle squeeze. At his mere touch, she relaxed, a part of her relieved that they were both working back to the easy intimacy of their relationship.

"You sure like to give us a scare, don't you Grunt?" Garrus chuckled.

"Wouldn't be a badass if I didn't."

Elaine halfheartedly smacked Grunt's leg. "You can pack it in with that attitude. Do you have any idea how upset I was to think we might've lost you?"

"You humans scream for a lot of reasons," said Grunt. "Heard you scream plenty of times, anyway."

"Such as?"

"Could hear it through the vents when Garrus fu–"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOkay then!" Garrus quickly jumped in, almost yanking Elaine out of the chair in his haste to get her up. "I think we need to leave now. Shepard wanted us in the War Room. Let's go. Now."

Elaine followed Garrus out, but when they reached the door, she extracted herself from his hold to point a finger back at Grunt on the bed. "You behave yourself and do as the Doctor tells you. I want you back on your feet the _proper_ way, not the Krogan way."

The blush that stained Garrus' neck blue didn't properly abate until he and Elaine were both bundled into the elevator and on their way up to the crew deck. Elaine found herself smiling. "What does Shepard want?" she hadn't spoken to the Commander since their argument outside th Broodmother nest.

"Admiral Hacket's wants to talk about the Darkspawn. Discuss how the level they pose as a threat. You're our resident Darkspawn advisor, so you get to answer those questions." He eyed her. "And you shouldn't worry so much. Grunt's a krogan. He'll regenerate and be up and about in no time."

"It's my job to worry," she countered softly. "The Darkspawn are my responsibility to deal with. If any one of you fell to them where I should have…"

"Now you're talking like you're his mom," Garrus joked, always quick to lighten a darkening mood. "Maybe when this war is over you should adopt him."

That made her smile. "So long as you don't mind him calling you ' _father'_ ,"

"I think I prefer _'dad'_. _Father_ just sounds too… formal."

"Really?" she asked. "I called my mother and father by those titles. It's much sweeter, more personal. _'Mom'_ is such a blunt word, too common."

Garrus snorted. "Didn't think you were the prissy princess type,"

The elevator doors opened and the pair of them made their way to the right towards what used to be the laboratory. Elaine waved to Traynor on the way past, which the young woman returned. It was a little strange to Elaine to walk back through the rooms that she had grown so familiar with, only to find them no changed. She and Garrus had to wait to be scanned before they could step past a meeting room – Elaine recognising the glass table from the old conference room in the centre. The War Room itself was tucked into the back of the ship, a circular room where the centre piece was a large magical image of their current objective and the layout of the war, battle-by-battle.

Wrex was to one side of the room, and raised his voice to greet Garrus when they entered. At the large magical desk, stood a turian, perhaps a decade or two older than Garrus, if the lines in the soft flesh around his eyes were any indication. Despite his civilian attire, he stood with the poise and posture of a warrior. Elaine could tell by the set of his shoulders and the way his fingers moved in constant calm and slow motions that he was the type that was always thinking, always prepared for battle. This must be the Primarch that both Garrus and Shepard spoke so highly of. When he turned his golden eyes on the pair of them, he briefly glanced in Elaine's direction. In that moment, he observed everything about her, from head to foot, cataloguing it all away for future use. His face plates ranged from the colour of mud to sandy gold, though most of it was obscured by white facial markings that swept from chin to fringe in intricate stripes.

"Vakarian," he called in a rich voice, beckoning Garrus to him.

For a moment, Garrus appeared torn. Realising that he couldn't refuse his ruler, he quickly ducked his head, pressing his forehead to Elaine's temple. He whispered into her hair: "Go on without me. I'll be here when you get out." Leaving her side, he pointed to the door on the other side of the room. "QEC is just through there."

She knew she shouldn't blush; after all, she had had sex with the man more than a dozen times. Yet still there was something about his action that touched her deeply. In front of others, he had given her what passed for a kiss on the cheek in his culture. As if it were of no consequence. As if the stares of the humans in the room did not exist. They didn't bother Elaine, either. But his willingness to show such affection to her made her heart feel as if it were aglow. There were times still, mostly in the dark of night, when she would awake from a nightmare or be unable to sleep, and her doubts and fears would hound her lonesome thoughts. They made her fear that her brief nterlude of insanity had damaged what she and Garrus had, that he had given up on the idea of _them_. However, it was moments like these, this quick touch of heads, that affirmed and grounded her, reminded her that she still had someone willing to hold her, willing to love her, despite it all.

With a smile on her face, she made her way into the adjoining room that (if her mental map was correct) would be in the same place as the old Armoury had been. The room was washed in oceanic blue light, coming from a device in the floor that projected up into the air a ghostly image. An older man in unform, his face lined with age and one nasty-looking scar that stretched from his top lip to beneath his right eye. He stood straight back and broad shouldered, a perfect solider's stance. But his cunning eyes, even bathed in the blue light, held a deadly intelligence that assessed her just as Primarch Victus had.

Shepard stood infront of the ghostly image and nodded to her as she came to stand beside him. "Admiral Hackett, may I introduce you to Miss Elaine Cousland."

The Admiral nodded to her. " _A pleasure to meet you, Miss Cousland. First of all, I must give you a formal apology from the Alliance, and myself. I was ordered to bring you in for the murderer of one of our own. It was that decision that led to your capture. And for that, I am sorry."_

Elaine tensed but bowed her head. "Apology accepted, Admiral."

 _"_ _I'm sure you're aware of why I have asked to see you both,"_ said Hackett. _"I've read your report, Shepard. The thought of these creatures, these Darkspawn… It's concerning. As if we didn't already have enough trouble on our hands."_ He regarded Elaine again. _"Miss Cousland, Shepard informs me that you're an expert on these things. Mind if I ask how?"_

"I am a Grey Warden, Admiral. On my world, my order's sole purpose was to eradicate the Darkspawn."

 _"_ _Then I need you to tell me everything, Warden Cousland. I need to know how to defat these things and why they're hooking up with the Reapers."_

"I will tell you what I can, Admiral." She said. "Though, I am not entirely certain why the Reapers have chosen the Darkspawn as pawns."

"Its like Husks, and Cannibals and Marauders," shrugged Shepard dismissively. "Cannon-fodder."

"No, Shepard." Elaine shook her head. "From what I've learned of the Reapers, they destroy current civilisations only to make way for the next cycle to come. The Darkspawn are incompatible with that plan."

 _"_ _How so?"_

"Admiral, the Darkspawn spread a plague in their very bodies called the Taint. It infects and destroys every living thing it touches. Crops fail, the land dies, livestock falls, everything is destroyed by their mere touch. They are toxic. I cannot see how the Reapers could think this would be beneficial to their cause."

 _"_ _We'll have the best scientists look over the data. See how the Reapers have repurposed them exactly."_ He rested a fist against his chin in thought. _"That nest you discovered today, is this how Darkspawn typically breed?"_

"Yes, Admiral. The Darkspawn take suitable females and rape them and force them to cannibalise in a ritual to create Broodmothers. A Broodmother can birth up to fifty Darkspawn per litter. She'll spawn thousands in her lifetime." Beside her, she heard Shepard give an involuntary shiver. But Elaine had to harden her heart in order to ask the more important question. "My main worry, sir, is that if we found this nest so far removed from my homeworld, who's to say there aren't more nests out there amongst the stars? On deserted planets or forgotten places, a nest could be hiding there, with an untold number of Broodmothers."

 _"_ _Agreed. I'll have our ships be extra cautious when potentially encountering an SOS signal, in case there are more traps like the one you found today."_ Said Hackett. _"Are they a space-faring species?"_

"No, sir. A Darkspawn has just enough intelligence to form crude battle tactics. Teaching themselves how to fly a star-ship? I highly doubt it. They can barely craft for themselves decent armour."

Shepard cocked a brow. "Then how did they get off of Thedas?"

"I don't know, and that is what troubles me." She murmured, eyes hard. "Perhaps it has something to do with the Reapers? Maybe the Reapers got them off our homeworld, and when they ' _repurposed'_ them they uploaded enough information for them to get by?"

 _"_ _The how is not important,"_ Hackett dismissed. _"All that matters, is that these things are stalking the stars with stolen ships. We need to be careful. How can they be killed?"_

"They die the same as any normal creature. You wound them badly enough and they bleed out. Starving them is not an option. Though they feed on our flesh when given the opportunity, they do not have need of it. The Taint itself sustains them."

 _"_ _How organised are they?"_

"Darkspawn are only organised when an Archdemon is arisen. It controls them through a hive-mind network and grants them frightening intelligence to form the Horde. But without one, they dissolve into little more than wandering raiding bands."

"Is there an Archdemon?" asked Shepard.

"I… I don't know." Memories of her nightmares slammed into the front of her mind, glimpses of the Collector Ship teased her with a secret she had yet to uncover. "A Blight destroyed my world; that implies there was an Archdemon… But I don't know if that means there's one now, or where it might be. It could be back in Thedas, or it could be dead for all I know."

She knew she was deluding herself with wishful thinking and fantasies. But it was all she had.

 _"_ _Then let's hope that that's the case,"_ said Hackett. _"Good work, Shepard. Miss Cousland. Keep me posted on the situation. Hackett out."_

* * *

Two days later, they made it to Tuchanka. Shepard had taken Garrus and Vega with him to rescue a Turian Platoon that had been stranded on the planet after a bad crash. Elaine had hung around the CIC all the while, worry gnawing at her stomach. She knew Shepard and Garrus could handle themselves, but it made her restless to think they were out there without her. When she heard news of a hidden Turian bomb about to be stolen by Cerberus, she had paced like a caged animal, desperate to get in on the fight.

To distract herself, she had gone to Traynor, and asked her for her help. She took to heart the fact that Admiral Hackett wanted all the information he could get on the Darkspawn. Elaine wanted to upload all she had into the War Room so that it could be called upon at will by whoever had need of it. Traynor had accompanied her and helped her through the process. They never managed to complete the task, for it was during this time that Shepard finished the mission, and the results came in.

It wasn't good. The Primarch's son had been in charge of this mission to disable a bomb that had been hidden on Tuchanka a thousand years ago. It was a safety measure, so that if the Krogan thought to raise an army against the galaxy once again, the Turians would kill them all with the blast. Now that the Turians were desperate for an alliance with the Krogan, it had been a priority to disable said explosive. Shepard had managed to help Tarquin Victus complete the mission… but the young lieutenant had given his life in the process.

Elaine felt most sorry for the Primarch when Garrus' voice gently broke the news over the comm. There was a slight quiver in his mandibles, a tenseness in his muscles as he tried very hard not to let his emotions show. However, the grieving father would be granted no mercy, for as Shepard reported what had been accomplished on Tuchanka, Wrex got wind of it, and righteously blew up in anger.

Still stuck on the sidelines of the War Room, Elaine watched as even an hour later, Wrex and the Primarch argued back and forth vehemently.

"We couldn't risk another galactic war with the Krogan!" the Primarch growled for the fourth time, frustrated.

"The Genophage wasn't enough?" Wrex demanded. "You had to plant a _bomb_ on my planet!"

"The decision was made hundreds of years ago. So much has changed!"

"Not enough to tell us about the bomb, coward!"

There was a loud clanging of boots, and suddenly, Shepard launched through the door, his casual attire barely in place where he had rushed up here from the armoury down in the Cargo Bay. "Hey! The Reapers are out there destroying the galaxy and you wanna fight about this?" He marched over to the two combatants, scowl livid. "Primarch, you had a bomb on Tuchanka! And Wrex? In the Turians' place, you would've done the same damned thing!

"Shepard–" Wrex went to argue.

"It's over!" barked the commander. "His own son died today making this right!"

The Primarch held up his hands in surrender. "Please, Commander. It's alright."

"Yeah, Shepard," Wrex grumbled. "You made your point. We have stronger enemies to face."

And just like that, the tension died. Suddenly adrift now that the adrenaline had faded, the Primarch looked a little lost. Elaine watched him, studied the way she could see the grief mounting in his eyes, but the stubborn set of his shoulders refused to allow it to pour over. When his composure was firmly back in place, he stepped towards the Commander.

"Shepard, I…"

"Don't." Shepard murmured. "I never knew my father. Your son couldn't handle what you put on him and you knew it. Maybe I was better off."

Even across the room, Elaine flinched at such a scathing remark. The Primarch did as well, his spirit deflating inside of him. In lonely mourning, he turned away from the human man and made his way up the stairs to leave. Compelled by the compassion she felt swell inside her, Elaine dashed after him.

"It is Primarch Victus, isn't it?" she called after him. He stopped in the corridor outside the War Room, the general hum of machines faded to allow an eerie silence.

"It is," was his quiet reply. He only half turned to regard her with his sad, golden gaze. "But please excuse me, Miss Cousland; I'm in… I'm not good company, right now."

"Shepard didn't mean what he said. It wasn't your fault."

"Yes, he did. And yes, it was." His voice was so quiet, Elaine had to inch closer in the hopes of catching a word. "I promised his mother I would keep him safe. I thought that meant getting him higher up the rankings. My peers warned me he wasn't ready, that he was too young. I didn't listen; he was my son, I knew him better. Shows what I know."

She could see how badly he wanted to dissolve into his grief, right where he stood. It was foolishness that kept him upright, forced him to ignore the emotions. Elaine knew from her own experience that doing such a thing was never a good idea. He would soon or later burst from the pressure. Gently, she reached out a hand to his shoulder. His eyes darted to her touch.

"My parents died in battle for me." She softly explained. "They devoted themselves to preparing me for the future. My mother taught me how to navigate the minds and hearts of people with ease. My father taught me how to fight with honour and win. When I found him bleeding out on the floor of my childhood home, I thought my world was falling apart. My mother sacrificed herself – stayed behind in order to keep at bay the enemies that were pursuing us. They both died in each other's arms."

"I'm sorry,"

Tears stung her eyes. "For so long after, I blamed myself. I told myself I was a coward who ran when her parents needed her most. It was expected of me to stand and defend them. Yet, I betrayed them in their hour of need. Sometimes I still feel that way. It took a long time for me to face the fact that there was nothing I could've done."

The Primarch didn't say anything for a long while, his thoughts turning inward.

"I know you feel as if you should have been the one to make that sacrifice," Elaine said. "But at least your son died doing what is right. That's more than most can say."

"Yes," he nodded. "My son… he died with the respect of his men. Even if your commander will not hear the words, I wanted to thank him for that. His sacrifice will be recorded in the histories of the ninth platoon – something any father would be proud of."

With one last nod of gratitude to her, he walked away. Elaine watched him go until he was far out of sight. "Yes, sir."

Shortly after, Elaine found herself wandering the Normandy until she wound up in front of the battery doors. She wanted to see Garrus, to be sure he was alright, to see how the emotions of the day were affecting him. As she entered, she didn't find him immediately at his usual work desk. She grew anxious when she found him sat on his cot in the corner of the room, elbows on his knees, eyes distant.

"Garrus?" she asked, going to his side. "Are you alright?"

"Hmm?" he looked up, eyes blinking as if waking from a dream. "Yeah. Just… thinking…"

"I'm sorry about what happened down there. The Primarch's quite upset."

"I know. I was the one who had to tell him when it happened…"

"Was what he did right?" Elaine asked, sitting on the cot when he scooched over to make room for her. "The Primarch's son, Tarquin. Do your people really believe in such sacrifice?"

"Not too far from your Grey Warden motto: victory at any cost." His hand landed on her knee, his talons absentmindedly drawing lazy circles on her breeches. "Sacrifice in war is expected. He did us proud, but… we're a hard bunch to please. Living your life for the cause, society first, platoon first, it's all just… expected."

"You say that as if you disapprove." She said. "Is your family like this? Do they expect this sacrifice from you?"

"I've told you about my dad before. Do things right, or don't do them at all, he says."

"Still, I'd like to think he's out there worrying over you, not expecting you to die at a moment's notice for honour."

He turned his gaze away from her suddenly. "These days I'm the one that's doing the worrying…"

"What?" a ball lodged itself in her stomach. "Garrus, what's wrong?"

He sighed tiredly. "My dad and sister were on Palaven when the Reapers hit. I… I haven't heard anything from them since."

Suddenly, her arms were flung around his waist as she pulled him into a fierce embrace. Her cheek was pressed against the cold metal of his armour as she whispered, "Oh, Garrus. I'm so sorry. I didn't–"

"It's not your fault." He hushed her, wrapping his arms around her in turn. "Just wish I knew if they were alright. One less thing to worry about. To lose them just after losing mom…"

Guilt ate Elaine alive. How could she have been so selfish, to be swallowed up in her own madness that she hadn't even noticed how he was hurting too? She reached up to pull his head down towards her. He angled his mouth automatically to claim her lips. But she avoided them and pressed her forehead to his. "You know I'm here for you, right?"

The deep pur in his chest was all confirmation she needed to know she did the right thing. His talons tickled the corner of her jaw. "Believe me, with holding the fate of my species in my hands, you're the only thing keeping me going sometimes."

"It'll be alright, Garrus. I promise."

* * *

Late into the night, Mordin worked over his terminal, restless. The past six months had seen his natural insomnia grow in persistence. He hadn't slept more than three hours in the past few days. But who could sleep when he was SO CLOSE! It was the early hours of the morning by the Normandy's earth-based clock. The two Krogans of the medbay, Eve and Grunt, were snoring softly on their beds. Mordin ignored them both, his mind spinning at the speed of light, his fingers flying over the terminal.

The results came back: POSITIVE.

He'd done it. A stroke of genius, even for him. Undoing his own brilliant work, whilst also undoing the work of a dozen brilliant minds that came before him. No one else could've done it, cured the genophage. Had to be him. Someone else might've gotten it wrong.

He immediately hit his comm to contact the human Commander, not realising in his excitement the time and the probability that said-commander would be asleep. "Shepard! Cure is ready for deployment. Will need to speak with you in War Room to strategise dispersal."

He transferred all his data to his omnitool, a slight skip of excitement in his step. In a matter of hours, he would be undoing th genophage… The suffering of the Krogan would be undone. All the toil his people had undergone to keep the galaxy safe, undone.

And there was a very good chance he would not survive this mission.

It was a statistical fact. Reapers, Cerberus, perhaps even his own people, would be against the idea of a genophage cure. He knew for a fact that this would not be easy. Even if he survived to see his greatest achievement come true, he was in his last decade of life. In as little as another six months, he would begin to reach the point where either his physical or mental facilties would begin to fail. From there, it was a quick and slippery slope to the grave.

Contemplating how one is going to die makes one introspective, makes you think on all the accomplishments you've made in life. Mistakes, triumphs, things not yet done. Mordin's large eyes flicked up to regard Grunt, asleep in his bed, oblivious of any danger.

Mordin slowly pulled out a file from his terminal. He'd made some progress with it upon first researching the topic but hadn't touched this subject in all of the six months he'd been apart from the Normandy and its crew.

The cure to the Taint. A project as equally brilliant in scope as curing the genophage. He'd been delighted with the challenge and had even been most excited by what his early discoveries had yielded. Looking over his research again with fresh eyes, he once again contemplated the possibility that he would not live to see the completion of a second miracle cure. In which case, he realised he needed a back-up plan to be sure that it worked.

He was loath to do what he knew he must. The boy had betrayed him, disgraced himself, why should he be granted this opportunity? Because, a part of him said, he was the only one anywhere near as brilliant as himself. After all, this genophage cure wouldn't be ready in nearly as much time without his help.

With a reluctant sigh, Mordin created a fresh email and penned in the correct address. Despite his initial inclination to drop all ties with his former student and pretend he didn't exist, he had kept tabs on him. It looked like he had taken his offhanded comment as advise and set up a new clinic in Omega. Attaching his current research to the email, Mordin decided to keep the message itself brief.

 _Maelon; Here. Make up for your mistakes. ~ M. Solus_


	14. The Genophage Cure

So, this was it. The time to cure the genophage was now. A moment over a thousand years in the making, and Shepard was leading the charge. It all seemed too surreal. He could almost not believe it.

He'd awoken in the early hours of this morning to a message from Mordin. The cure was ready. Ever since, he'd been in the war room, strategizing with the Primarch, Wrex and Mordin on the best way to dispense the cure as quickly as possible to the Krogan people. It was decided that the Shroud would be their best bet.

The Shroud was a huge sky-scraper tower that stuck up from the centre of the ancient Krogan ruins. A glittering sore thumb amidst the rubble. Back in the day, when the Salarians uplifted the Krogan to bring them into an era of space-flight, they'd built the tower as a gift of goodwill towards the krogan. It was meant to help clean the atmosphere after the Krogans had almost destroyed it when they'd declared nuclear war on one another that had rendered their planet to the pile of rubble it was today. When the Genophage had been deployed, the Turians had secretly used it in order to dispense the disease in the very air the Krogan breathed. Mordin was confidant that it could now be used to reverse the harm it had caused.

The only problem was that the Reapers seemed to have anticipated their move and had sent a Reaper Destroyer Class to guard the shroud. The Destroyer Class were much smaller than Capital ships, but still just as deadly. Shepard had managed to negotiate a plan of attack between a Turian air strike and Krogan ground attack in order to draw the Reaper off. With it out of the way, Shepard and a small team could slip past and dispense the cure.

Everything felt like it was all fitting into place. Shepard for once actually felt good about the mission to come. But then…

 _"_ _Commander,"_ said Traynor's voice from the comm. _"Incoming message maked 'Urgent'. I'll put it in the comm. room for you."_

With a roll of his eyes at the unnecessary delay, he marched quickly back to the adjoining room. Inconvenient timing this might be, but it could be from Hackett, or possibly even Anderson back on Earth! His optimism was soon short lived.

As the image focused, he found it to be none other than the smirking Dalatrass. The salarian female, garbed head to foot in the robes that marked her as someone important, looked down her non-existent nose with her large amphibian eyes. _"Commander Shepard,"_ she said smoothly. _"We know you've reached Tuchanka. And by now, I imagine Mordin Solus has proposed using the Shroud."_

She was far too well informed for Shepard's liking. And he just didn't like her. "Are you spying on us?"

 _"_ _Hardly. The Shroud is the only viable course of action open to you."_ She stated matter of factly. _"Commander, you can't allow your misguided sympathy for the Krogan to cloud your judgement. Do you honestly believe curing the Genophage will end in lasting peace?"_

"Dalatrass," Shepard growled. "I really don't think you grasp the situation here. It doesn't matter what I think. What matters, is that I need an army strong enough to fight back against the Reapers. The Krogan and Turians combined will give us a good fighting chance in this war. Worrying about lasting peace is pointless when there might not be a _lasting_ part of the equation."

 _"_ _We Salarians might not be as long lived as the humans, let along species such as the Asari, but we do think in the long term. And in the long term, the facts are this: the Krogan will reproduce out of control. My people uplifted them specifically for their violent nature. Not for their diplomatic skills. War with them is inevitable."_

"What do you want, Dalatrass?"

 _"_ _Years ago, our operatives sabotaged the Shroud facility to ensure that what you're planning couldn't be done."_ She smirked at the uncontrolled outrage that Shepard couldn't wipe from his face quick enough. _"Mordin will likely detect this malfunction and repair it. But, if you ensure that he doesn't, then the cure's viability will be altered just enough so that it fails. No one will notice the change."_

"You mean trick the Krogan?"

 _"_ _They need not be any the wiser. Let Urdnot Wrex believe you fulfilled your promise. They will fight your war for you, and when it is over, galactic peace will be ensured."_

Shepard stood there, struck dumb by the audacity and brilliance of her plan. There was only one small detail: "Mordin would never stand for that…"

 _"_ _How you deal with him is up to you, Commander."_ The Dalatrass shrugged. _"We can provide you our very best scientists to build the Cruicible… and the full support of our fleets."_

Shepard's fists clenched around the railing in front of him, his knuckles turning white. The stuck-up bitch. She had him by the balls and she knew it. Yes, Shepard needed this alliance to work in order to fight back the Reapers, but to win the war, he needed the Cruicible finished and as many fleets as he could to retake Earth. " _If_ I sabotage the cure…"

 _"_ _Think about it, Commander. The choice is yours."_

* * *

"I've ordered the Clans to assemble at the Hollows," Wrex explained, his voice loud enough to carry over the rattle of the wind outside the shuttle. Elaine held on tightly to her seat in order to avoid being thrown from it. "It's our sacred meeting ground. We'll land there and take an armoured convoy against the Reaper. THIS will be the defining moment of Krogan history!"

"Krogan history filled with defining moments. Most bloody. Hope this one better."

Elaine rolled her eyes. "Feed the stereotype and they become it."

Beside her, Eve's eyes crinkled to indicate she was smiling behind her garb. "Well said, Warden. It is time to change those perceptions."

"Commander?" Garrus asked, noticing that their fearless leader had been unusually quiet for the entire ride down to the planet. "You seem troubled."

Before Shepard could open his mouth, the shuttle violently lurched about. Once Cortez got them back under control, a voice came through the comm, similar in dialect to Wrex, but notably more nasely. _"Wrex, it's Wreav! The Reapers are already at the Hollows! Come out with guns blazing!"_

The shuttle landed heavily. As the door opened, the group was immediately met with a Husk screeching into their faces. It didn't get to take even a step, however, as Wrex blew it apart with a shotgun blast slung from the hip.

"Shepard!" He ordered, stepping out onto the dusty soil. "Keep them away from the female! I'll sort out what's happening with the other clans."

Shepard, Elaine and Garrus all leapt from the shuttle, weapons at the ready. The scorching heat of Tuchanka nearly scalded Elaine's face as she stepped out into the sunlight. Shrugging it off, she followed Shepard at a run down into the ruins they'd landed atop of. The Hollows reminded her of books her childhood tutor had once shown her, depicting Tevinter colloseums. Husks and Cannibals swamred the many levels. Krogans fought through them, some drenched in blood.

With a loud war cry to purposefully draw attention to herself, Elaine leapt into the fray. Starfang in hand, she slashed from side to side, cutting down the monsters on either side of her. Bullets came her way, and she brought up her shield to hide her head. The roar of Garrus' rifle behind her, and then the hail of bullets ceased. Nodding her thanks, she ran for the centre of the Hollows. Bashing her shield against one opponent on her left, she stabbed through the arm and chest of another on her right. It was at that position she maintained her stance, doing her best to draw as much attention as she could. The Husks attempted to swarm her but were instead met with slaughter. The Cannibals were slowly drawn in, only to be shot down one by one by Shepard and Garrus. On the balconies and all around the Hollows, the Krogan fought as fiercely as Ogres.

Finally, the lask Husk dropped dead to the ground. From beyond a door, Wrex strutted in, a collection of other Krogans behind him. They were all covered in blood, and each had a satisfied grin spreading across their faces. "They'll sing battle-songs about this someday," Wrex announced as he made his way down to the centre. "Reaper blood has finally soaked our soil!"

All around, the approving roars of Krogans still high on the adrenaline of battle could be heard. Unfortunately, Shepard didn't seem to be in a celebrating mood. "We have to get to the Shroud! The airstrike is on its way."

From behind Wrex, Mordin appeared. "Female safe, Shepard. Vitals are strong."

"What's a Salarian doing here?!" Boomed a voice Elaine recognised as the one who had warned them of the Reaper attack. Across the Hollows, she spotted a Krogan and his Krant marching towards them. His colours were a mixture of muted browns and reds, no where near as vibrant as Wrex. The look on his face made it seem as if he had a persistent nasty smell right under his nose. "No one said anything about this."

"Who are you?" Shepard asked.

"Urdnot Wreav," announced the newcomer. "Brood-brother to our… _illustrious_ leader."

Wrex's lip curled in clear distaste. "Wreav and I share the same mother – and nothing else."

"For which I am thankful! I remember what it means to be a true Krogan!" Wreav snapped. "We flay our enemies alive and drown them in a gyser of their own blood. We don't invite them into our home."

Elaine felt Garrus' hand on her elbow. "Be ready for a fight."

It was only then that Elaine noticed various Krogans in the room sending the Turian amongst them death-glares as well as the Salarian. She stepped forward, voice rising to project with authority. "Now is not the time to resume old fights, Urdnot Wreav. We are all here to cure the Genophage, so stand aside and let us do so."

"His kind gave us the Genophage!" Wreav shouted, baring down on her to point over her shoulder at Mordin. Elaine stood her ground, not moving back an inch, not even when the Krogan bared his teeth in her face. "Why should we trust him?"

Abruptly, Wreav was yanked back away from her. Wrex through him aside, and then struck his brother across the face with a headbut. "You'll trust him, because I do! And so will you!"

Wreav shook his head to clear it of the ringing Elaine knew he must be experiencing. Once he seemed to have composure once more, he growled loudly like an animal at his brother and leader. He and his Krant tensed, and Elaine could sense a second battle about to erupt –

"ENOUGH!" shouted a voice.

A hush fell over the Hollows. Not a growl nor rumble echoed through the vast sacred chamber. One by one, pairs of eyes shifted towards the stairs. Faces went slack, stares grew in awe. Elaine turned with the Krogan, to see Eve stood atop the stairs leading into the Hollows, her ember eyes ablaze behind her coverings. She stood strong and proud, and when she stepped down to take the floor, Krogan males both moved out of her way yet also seemed to lean into her presence as if drawn to her like the ocean follows the moon. The Warden recognised the look on the faces of the Krogan around her: hope. Here walked the first female free of the plague that had diminished them in its cruel grip for so long. Here stood the chance for freedom and redemption. Each and every one of them looked to Eve as Elaine could imagine her people would look to Andraste if she walked the earth again.

"You can stay here and let old wounds fester, as Krogan have always done," Eve said scathingly, her deep voice carrying to all corners of the Hollows to reach every ear. "Or, you can fight the enemy you were born to destroy – and win a new future for our children. I choose to fight! Who will join me?"

Elaine immediately stepped towards the Krogan female, a thumped a fist over her chest in salute. "I will!"

"And so will I!" said Wrex. He ascended the stairs, and once he reached the top, he proclaimed to all those before him: "Now, hold your heads high, like true Krogan! There's a Reaper that needs killing!"

All Krogan around the room roared in agreement, their bloodlust dashed away, and the vigor of honour pulsed through their veins anew. Elaine shared a moment to look proudly at Eve, and the Krogan female nodded to her, patting her shoulder with affection. Behind her, Elaine saw Shepard in the corner of the room. She expected to see him roaring his war-cry with the rest of the Krogan, but instead… he seemed conflicted…

* * *

"Wreav isn't the only Krogan who wants revenge for the Genophage, Wrex." Eve thought aloud, her eyes finding the Krogan leader across the carriage seats. Elaine looked up from where she had been studying her own hands. "You'll have to placate them somehow."

Wrex smirked. "I'll demand the CCouncil return some of our old territory. We'll need room to expand – recapture the glory of the ancients."

" _'_ _Glory of Ancients',"_ Mordin quoted shrewdly, "led to Krogan rebellions. Countless deaths. Creation of Genophage. Expansion plan… problematic."

"I saw some of the ancient ruins," said Elaine. "How were they different from the Krogan of today?"

"Tuchanka wasn't always a wasteland," Eve explained, a warmth in her eyes as she slid easily into her former role of teacher, shaman, storyteller. "In the old times, the Krogan were a proud people. We had dreams… a future to look forward to."

Mordin ducked his head. "Until Salarian interference."

"No. we destroyed Tuchanka ourselves. Technology changed us. It made life too easy. So we looked for new challenges – and found them in each other. Nuclear war was inevitable."

"And now our planet is rubble," Wrex grumbled. "We'll need a better place to live."

Shepard's lips quirked. "I'd say helping to defeat the Reapers would be worth a new planet."

"Or ten. You haven't seen how fast we can pop them out."

Eve's foot kicked out at her leader's shin. "Wrex!"

"What?" he asked innocently. "With the Genophage cured we'll have some catching up to do…"

Elaine chuckled along with everyone else, until she saw the look on Shepard's face. Once again, he became introspective. Holding onto the railing above her, she stood and came towards him. "Shepard? Is something the matter?"

He snapped back to the present as if waking from sleep. His dark eyes darted to her and then to anywhere else. "Just… thinking about Earth."

That wasn't the whole truth of the matter, but before she could question him further, the vehicle they were in suddenly screeched and slowed. Wrex was on his feet in a moment. "Why are we stopping?"

They all climbed out onto the old road, the entire convoy of over a dozen massive ground vehicles stopped in a line. In the distance, Elaine could see the Shroud, the tall white spire veiled in a mist that defied gravity and was drawn upwards to spread out towards the sky. Lurking in the shadows at the tower's base, was the insectoid-form of the Reaper. It clanked along on its four legs it thrust into the ground, patrolling around its prize. At times, Elaine could've sworn she felt its evil gaze ghost across her skin, even if she knew it couldn't see her this far away. Her fists clenched. That Reaper needed to die.

However, as she soon learned, there were unexpected complications. The road ahead was unsuitable to traverse, had likely been destroyed by their enemy in an attempt to delay them. They were only ten minutes away from the scheduled battle. If it had been any other time, Elaine would've been relieved – the Krogan carriages were not exactly the most comfortable to begin with, and the way the Krogan drove them was horrendous. But now, she was itching to get moving again.

Shepard was attempting to get ahold of the Turian air-strike team, Artimec, to get them to delay their attack on the Reaper. The answer wasn't good. _"Negative, Commander! Our flight path is locked – the Reaper already knows we're here!"_

Above them, a deafening roar of engines passed by in a blaze of hot wind as two dozen small flying machines sped through the air towards the Shroud. "An air-strike alone won't do it," Garrus said, voice tight with worry. "We have to get in that fight!"

In the distance, the turian air ships fired apon the Reaper. Fiery explosions ignited along its metal structure. Like flies buzzing around the head of a great beast, the turian ships darted all around the Reaper. They came in quick, took their shots and then raced away as quickly as possible. The Reaper itself merely paused midstride, tilting its massive body as if to spy where they were. Two plates on the front of its structure opened and revealed a red fiery eye. There was a loud low growl that built and built like the hum of growing electricity, before it burst with a blare of sound and a beam of molten red light from the eye. It struck one of the ships, bursting the back of it in a blast of flames.

Black smoke trailed behind the ship as it careened out of control. Elaine tensed when she realised it was headed right for her and the convoy. _"I've lost control, I can't pull up!"_ shouted the Turian over the comm. in panic.

"Move!" yelled Shepard.

An arm grabbed hold of Elaine's waist, hurling her to the ground. Her arms instinctively went up to cover her head, her shoulder and side taking the brunt of the impact. The world shook and exploded in light and sound around her. When she opened her eyes, she saw Garrus moving off her, one of the convoy vehicles ablaze in a wreck.

"Wrex!" she could faintly hear Shepard somewhere in the distance. "Get the female out of here, now! Go!"

Tires screeched as the convoy jerked and sped away out of danger. The vehicles braced against the broken road, daring to traverse it at speed. Elaine and Garrus jumped up to their feet as fast as they were able, jogging over to Shepard. Above them, more turian ships burst apart and fell in a rain of fire all around them. _"Commander! We have to abort! That Reaper is tearing us to pieces!"_

"Understood." Said Shepard into his comm. "Fall back and be ready on my signal."

"Shepard!" Garrus exclaimed, pointing to one of the ruins of an ancient building half collapsed and leaning against the other. "A tunnel over there! May be a way off!"

The three of them darted towards a crack in the wall, a dark abyss yawning wide to swallow them. They stumbled down half destroyed stairs, and almost fell through holes into nothing. Darkness enclosed around them, and it took a moment for their suits to adjust and switch on the lights in their breast-plates. Echoes of droplet trickles sounded somewhere in a corner of the cave. The stink of stale air and dust aggravated Elaine's throat until she wanted to cough it back up out of her lungs.

"Wrex, are you recieving this?" Shepard asked, his words echoing back to him from the darkness. "Is everyone okay?"

 _"_ _Yeah, just scratches, nothing the Salarian can't patch up."_ Was the nonchalant reply.

"The Turians had to call of the airstrike. We'll need a new plan for dealing with the Reaper."

 _"_ _First, we'll have to find you. Where did you end up?"_

Elaine snorted in distaste, swatting away a cobweb from her hair. "In a hole."

"Underground," said Shepard. "We see ruins of some kind."

 _"_ _Commander,"_ came Eve's voice, _"that's the City of the Ancients."_

"How do we get out?"

 _"_ _No maps exist. It's been abandoned for thousands of years."_

 _"_ _You're a trailblazer, Shepard,"_ said Wrex. _"Get through there, and we'll find a place to meet up. Nothing will stop this cure."_

They descended the crumbling staircase into what Elaine might've described as catacombs. Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust, decaying stonework and cobwebs. In the shafts of light given off by their suits, she spotted what might've passed for architecture. Stone tables with ornate carvings, columns made strong and wide, floors decorated in mosaic works of art. A stab of nostalgia shot through Elaine as she was abruptly reminded of the ancient and abandoned Dwarven Thaigs she had traversed during the Blight. It had made her mind turn with wondering what it must've been like to walk these passages when they had been in their prime of use.

A rumble surrounded them. The floor shook like a dog and Elaine yelped when her footing was almost lost. Shepard and Garrus were looking all around, guns at the ready, searching for a possible threat. As quickly as it started, the shaking subsided, dust raining from above. "Was that an earthquake?" Garrus asked.

"Not sure," Shepard mumbled to himself.

They carried on with growing trepidation. A premonition began to work its way in Elaine's gut, made her tense and slowly unsheathe her sword. For another half hour they walked through the ruins, silent except for brief exchanges on which passage to take. Here and there, Elaine caugt sight of old bronze statues, or painting covering the walls depicting the ancient Krogan way of life. She saw them astride great huge beasts or adorned in regal robes. Once more, it made her curious as to what Krogan life must've been like back in ancient days, and how much of that culture had been lost in the thousands of years since. Something must've died on the journey from past to present, for Elaine could not picture the Krogans of today having any streak of artistic creativity.

Again, the ground jolted, this time so violently Elaine was thrown down to her hands and knees. Instead of fighting it, she stayed where she was, bracing against the movement of the earth that jarred her joints. Soon enough, the quake stopped without warning. Frustratedly coughing the dust out of her mouth, Elaine pulled herself up to her feet.

"That didn't feel like just a tremor to me," Garrus whispered suspiciously.

"But what else could move the earth like that?" she asked.

"Wrex," Shepard said softly. "Any of you feeling these tremors?"

 _"_ _Not up here,"_ said Wrex.

 _"_ _It could be something else, Commander,"_ Eve sounded thoughtful. _"It is said that Kalros, the mother of all Thresher Maws, lives in this region."_

 _"_ _Which is another reason to get your ass out of there, Shepard. Step on it!"_

Elaine swallowed. "Is it me, or does a panicking Wrex do nothing for my nerves?"

"When the Krogan name a Thresher Maw," said Garrus, "you know you're in trouble. They don't think anyone's ever going to kill it."

They passed by a wall that made Elaine pause. She turned her light upon it, stepping back so that it could illuminate the entire painting for her. Spread across it, was the wide and winding image of a snake-like insectoid creature, with spear-like arms and a great gaping mouth. Elaine had only faced a Thresher Maw once before, on Grun't rite of passage, but even then, it was enough for her to be left with a lasting impression. Her mind now automatically set it to the same standard as a High Dragon – dangerous and not to be trifled with.

"Wild guess says that's Kalros," Garrus whispered behind her.

"I don't even want to think about how big she needs to be to earn this level of respect…"

They finally found some stairs that seemed to be leading upwards. Elaine tried not to make her sigh of relief too loud. Fresh air and light were welcome thoughts. She'd never been a fan of underground spaces. The Deep Roads had implanted that belief solidly into her brain.

A hum tingled at the back of her skull. A slick, oily, horridness seeped into her veins. A faint music started to be heard in her head.

Elaine stopped dead in her tracks. Her heart hammered. There was no way she would ignore the signs again. She grabbed hold of Shepard's arm, stopping him from taking another step. He might've questioned what she was doing, but she honestly didn't hear him. Her attention was too focused on listening for that elusive music.

And then – there it was! "Darkspawn."

Elaine immediately moved into the lead. They only had one passageway to traverse if they wanted to return to the surface. However, that single passageway also happened to be where her sixth-sense told her the Darkspawn were coming from. Sword in hand, and slipping her shield onto her arm, she stepped as quietly as possible.

The darkness of the catacombs was beginning to thin, a natural light seeping into this abyss from somewhere ahead. Around the corner, and Elaine could see it, three hundred yards ahead, coming from another staircase leading up to the world. But the way was obstructed. A group of Hurlocks and Genlocks stood in the passage, chittering and grunting amongst themselves. Their repulsive hideousness was still recognisable, but as Elaine and the others had discovered in the Broodmother nest, these ones were changed. Metal comonants replaced flesh and bone and odd places, their eyes had a more electrical gleam to them. Evidence of the Reapers' handiwork.

Hand held up to call for her companions to be still, Elaine leaned around the corner only just enough so that she might see her enemies' positions. The Darkspawn lingered, behaving like animals, with Genlocks sticking together to hiss at the Hurlocks that bullied and harassed them. There was perhaps three Hurlocks and five Genlocks. Easy enough to take down with the element of surprise. Elaine slowly turned back to Shepard and Garrus, to whisper to them the plan –

When she realised everything had gone too quiet.

She turned back to watch her prey. Had they noticed her? Had they left? But no. All of them were stood there, frozen as if from a spell. Their stares were blank as if their thoughts (what little Darkspawn could think) were faraway, their jaws slightly slackened. They appeared as if they were… listening for something. Elaine held her breath, grip on her sword tightening, ready for attack should they hear her.

Abruptly, all the Darkspawn seemed to snap out of whatever it is that had transfixed them. They shuffled along to a small hole in the passageway wall that led back down into the dark earth. One by one, they vanished into the dirt that sprung them, and were gone. Elaine waited there, still as stone, listening to her sixth sense as the music in her blood faded the further and further the Darkspawn drew away from her. Eventually, it went quiet entirely, and she let out a long breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding.

"They're gone," she said in a hushed voice.

"Well," said Shepard, "we knew there were bound to be more than the ones we killed in that nest." He reached for his earpiece. "Wrex, this is Shepard. We've got Darkspawn down here. Keep an eyeout."

 _"_ _I know. Just ran over a few. Glad I'm not the guy cleaning that out of the undercarriage."_ Wrex's words only confirmed Elaine's fears. Just how many were here? _"All that matters is getting to that Shroud. Find us fast."_

They ran up the staircase, heading towards daylight. Elaine had to squint for a moment or two as her eyes adjusted once they made it up to the top. But when the haze cleared… she gaped.

"Now, this is new…" Garrus said, obviously as surprised as she. "A part of Tuchanka that isn't rubble…"

It was a plaza, or what used to be one. The structures had been eroded and fallen with time, but the ghosts of what used to be could still be imagined. From the soil, thick vines and trunks grew to claim back brick and pavement. Huge green leaves basked in the sunlight, letting off a pleasant fragrance that reminded Elaine of jasmine and camomile. "It's beautiful."

"And green," Garrus stepped up beside her. "I didn't think plants grew here anymore."

 _"_ _You're looking at hope,"_ said Eve. _"All that's left of it on Tuchanka. This was once a world full of beauty. Given a chance, it can be again."_

"After this day," Elaine vowed, "we'll give this world more than just one hope."

 _"_ _Shepard,"_ Wrex butted in, _"that Reaper is still up to no good at the Shroud. Find a way out of there and we'll pick you up."_

Quickly, the trio made their way through the plaza. In another time, Elaine would've loved to have sat in the middle of these ruins and document every scrap of history she could discover. However, now was not the time. As they went to find the rampart that would lead them down, they were suddenly met by a host of the Reapers creatures! Husks immediately went to swarm them, whilst Cannibals fired on them at the back.

Shepard and Garrus immediately dove for cover, whilst Elaine stood her ground and soaked in the Husks. Her sword slashed out from one to the other, her shield mostly used for defence with only the occasional offensive move. Whilst she prevented them from being overhwelemed, Garrus and Shepard took it in turns to pop in and out of cover, firing on the Cannibals. As the last of the Husks fell at her feet, she heard a gurgling snarl from around the corner. Huge claws punched into the stone and hurled its attached enormous body around for her to see. It was a massive monstrosity, with a naked, rounded and muscular frame with long arms tipped with wickedly curved claws. Their necks were completely removed and replaced with long mechanical pieces of metal, atop which sat half a turian's head.

"By the Maker!" Elaine shrieked, stepped back in revulsion. "What is that!?"

"It's a Brute!" shouted Shepard. "The Reapers made it by fusing together Krogans and Turians."

"And its an ugly son of a bitch!" yelled Garrus, leaning out of cover long enough to hurl a small disk straight for the Brute's chest. The disk attached itself to the Brute's left shoulder, and after a delay of a few seconds, suddenly exploded. The creature roared in rage and pain and charged after them.

Shepard swung out his shotgun, letting loose fiery ammunition that served to both damage and rile up the Brute more. At the last moment in its charge, it quickly changed direction and brought its massive fist down on Shepard's hiding spot. The Commander dove out of the way just in time, before the spot he was hiding in was crushed into powder. The Brute came after him, ignore the shots from Garrus' assault rifle, determined to get the human whilst he was down. But Elaine was there, running past Shepard straight for the Brute.

It was just like an Ogre, she told herself. As she got too close, the Brute swung a massive fist over her, which she ducked. As it did so, it left itself wide open. Starfang sliced diagonally down the creature's torso, after which Elaine immediately reversed the swing back upwards towards the neck. Oily blood sprayed out of the corpse, and weakened, the Brute stumbled back. Elaine leapt up, catching her foot on the Brute's knee for higher leverage. She slammed into its chest, plunging her sword into its heart as she did so. Her momentum tipped it over to far, and the Brute lost balance and fell to the ground. Elaine rode it down and wrenched her blade free at the last moment. The Brute had one last moment to stare up at her with its electrical, soulless eyes, before Elaine thrust her swordtip through its skull. One final twitch of spasming muscles, and the beast moved no more.

They came out of the otherside of the plaza, a vast wasteland of desert stretching out into the distance on their left. A single stone bridge onnected to the rest of the ruins ahead. With Shepard back in the lead, the group made to cross it.

 _"_ _Shepard,"_ said Wrex suddenly over the comm. _"We're coming under the bridge. Get down here, and we can get to the Shroud! Wait – it's Kalros!"_

No sooner did they hear the words, then the trio saw the convoy speed around the corner, sand kicked up into cloud as their tires violently spun for traction. Behind them, the ground split and cracked and yawned wide, as a massive armoured back cut through the ground like a shark's dorsal fin through water. It chased the trucks towards the bridge, as if it intended to catch them.

"Wrex?!" said Shepard.

 _"Break off! We're getting out of here!"_

The trucks came under the bridge, but the monster behind them did not slow. Elaine wordlessly shouted, and they all leapt back as the Maw's hide smashed into the underside of the bridge. It tore out a chunk of the middle of the bridge away without even denting the thing's thick scales. Elaine thought for an awful moment that the entire bridge would break from such a violent impact, but miraculously it held together.

 _"_ _Kalros' territorial instinct confirmed!"_ came Mordin's frightened shriek as the trucks led Kalross around the corner and out of sight.

 _"_ _She's not gonna get us! Go on ahead, Shepard. We'll try to shake this thing and find you."_

 _"_ _Thresher Maw getting closer!"_

 _"_ _Tell me something I don't know!"_

The Salarian Doctor's retort was almost childishly snappish. _"Metal in truck an excellent iron supplement for maw's diet!"_

Despite everything, Garrus huffed a laugh. "And the thing is, I bet Wrex is enjoying this."

Elaine shook her head, mystified at what she had just witnessed. "Not even I'm willing to go up against a Thresher Maw like _that!_ Not even for Grunt."

It took them another forty minutes to traverse more ruins, more memorials and ancient temples filled with statues that made them all wonder what the Krogan homeworld must've like in its prime. More of the Reaper's creatures were lurking within these ruins, but were easily dealt with. What Elaine couldn't get out of her mind, even as her blade was soaked with synthetic blood, was where were the Darkspawn? They'd seen those few down in the catacombs, but Elaine had not heard even a whisper in her mind since then. But where had they gone?

As they finally came out of the ruins and onto open ground, the convoy one again found them. _"Shepard, get over here!"_ said Wrex. _"Wreav, keep an eye out for that Maw. I don't want it sneaking up on us."_

 _"_ _Make it quick, Wrex. We're exposed."_

Shepard ran for the side of the truck and shoved open the door in the side. "Move it!"

Garrus and Elaine leapt inside, with Shepard scrambling in closely after them. No sooner had he slammed the door shut behind him, then Wreav's voice shouted over the comm. _"It's Kalros!"_

The truck was thrown violently from side to side. With a snarl, Wrex slammed his foot onto the pedal. The momentum to shoot them forward was so great, Elaine fell to the floor. The shaking stopped, but over the radio, they could hear someone screaming.

"What about Wreav?" Eve asked Wrex as she knelt beside Elaine to help her back to her feet.

"No way he survived that – and he was a pain in the ass, anyways." Wrex shrugged. "Now let's finish this, there's a Reaper waiting for us!"

The determination, the adrenaline pumping through the hearts in the truck, it filled them with the fighting spirit to believe anything was possible. That they were ready for this fight. They could do this! All that is except one.

Elaine's focus began to drift off, her brows furrowing as the world faded away in significance. A faint, strange melody began to seep into her mind. She had no sense of its actual sound; rather, it seemed to come from within, almost as if she were humming the tune to herself. She could never have imagined such a song, though. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever heard. Aching and ethereal, it seemed to pull her towards a memory of nostalgic bliss that she had somehow lost – and would do anything to recover. Anything at all.* It was so different from everything she had ever known. Different from the Darkspawn's music, different from that of the Reapers and Collectors. It compelled her to serve, entranced her. Yet in equal measure it frightened her immensely.

And she'd heard that music before.

"Stop!" she screamed, panic slamming into her with such force she jumped to her feet. "Stop–stop– _stop_!"

"Elaine, what's wrong?" Shepard watched her carefully as if she'd gone mad.

"Stop the truck!"

Wrex slammed on the brakes, the tires squealing. Everyone was thrown forward. They all turned on Elaine, each one sounding either their protests or questions. "What's going on?", "What the hell!", "What's wrong with her?"

Elaine could hardly hear them. the music had grown in intensity. It was all she could comprehend. Hairs on the back of her neck prickled. She was being watched.

Pushing open the door, she stumbled out onto the sand. The others followed, their questions hounding her, but she couldn't hear them. Elaine craned her neck back, pale face turned up towards the heavens. A shadow fell over the group.

Thick, purple, rainless clouds amassed in the sky. From beneath them came a hurricane wind, hot and dry and stinking. Thunder clapped and sickly lightning flashed, striking the top of a ruined tower. The building crumpled to dust upon contact. Sprung from nowhere before their eyes came a storm the likes of which none of them had ever witnessed before. And from the midst of that storm flew a dark and massive shadow. Its wings were tattered and immense, its body a sinuous line of spikes. Unholy fire burned in its gaze.*

Elaine quaked where she stood. "It's the Archdemon…"

* * *

 **A/N: Marked passages are abbreviations taken from "The Last Flight"**

 **Please review ;)**


	15. The Battle of Tuchanka

**A/N: Passage marked with a * indicates a homage to "The Last Flight"**

* * *

The Archdemon circled above in the storm of evil it created, showing off its grotesquness in all its terrifying glory. Triangular, crocodilian head on a long serpentine neck, its chest was huge and barrelled, tattered wings erupting from its shoulderblades. Extra teeth and tusks punctured through its lips until the dragon had a constant expression of grinning evilly. Spikes pushed out through its putrid hide as if someone had stabbed the dragon from the inside out and left the blades to gleam on the outside.

And yet, as Elaine watched it fly, there were so many things about that were changed. Like the new Darkspawn, the Archdemon seemed to be partly made of metal. One of its milky eyes had been completely replayed with a cybernetic orb that glowed the same red as the Reapers' main guns. A metal plate covered one half of the top of its skull, wires sticking out of it. Its chest was encased in a form of armour, thick round cables sticking out of the ribs to reach around to its back, where sat a contraption between its wings that looked like a jetpack of some description. One of the Archdemon's arms had been amputated and replaced with a moveable metal one, the skeletal metal claws chiming together eerily every time they twitched.

Elaine watched in horror as the Turian fighters came swooping back onto the battlefield. In the back of her mind, she noticed Shepard shouting into the comm for them to leave but the Turians believing they could take out the monster in the skies. They fired upon the dragon, their weapons pelting its hide. The Archdemon roared and twisted, flicking its long tail to smack into one of the fighters and sending it careening out of control into another and explode on impact.

At the Shroud's base, the Reaper looked up towards the Archdemon, and let out a long ear-splitting mechanical bark of sound. With a challenging snarl, as if directed by the Reaper, the Archdemon flew after the Turian fighters. It was faster than any organic flyer Elaine had ever seen – faster than even the Archdemon Urthemiel, who had been the fastest dragon she had witnessed. Boosted by the jetback built into its back, it chased down the fighters, snapping at them with its massive jaws or swiping with its claws. The poor turians never stood a chance. They attempted to make their escape, only now realising their error, yet the Archdemon hounded them, snapping from side to side. It herded them into a straight line, and once they were in position, the Archdemon sucked in a whistling breath, and unleashed it in a storm of purple fire. Heat made Elaine's eyes water even on the ground, yet it was not like any normal fire to ever be seen before. This fire that the Archdemon let loose was a maelstrom of evil and decay.

It engulphed all the turian fighters. When the blast receeded, only ash fell to earth.

The Archdemon lifted its head to scream in triumph, turning in the air to circle back to the Shroud. Its wings stirred up a hot dry wind that blasted into the ground and the mortals gathered there. The wind carried the Archdemon's scent to them. It prickled the hairs on the back of Elaine's neck. Powerfully rank, utterly inhuman, it smelled of cold dead places under the earth. It was the smell of the innards of rotten teeth and the sludge at the bottom of a poisoned river. It was absolute corruption. An echo of that same corruption tickled at the edges of Elaine's mind. The Archdemon's strange siren song was still there, faint and barely perceptible, but all the more maddening because she couldn't hear it fully. Not that she wanted to, knowing that it was the precursor to the Calling. But it was hard – _impossible_ – to ignore. She couldn't shut it out.*

"Elaine? Elaine!"

She was shaken by forceful hands, snapping her back into the present. She screeched, fighting free, that panic still causing her blood to race. It was too hard to get air in her lungs, the world was spinning! The Archdemon was here! There were Darkspawn here! The words repeated themselves in her mind, over and over.

This was a Blight!

As if they didn't have enough problems to deal with. A Reaper invasion and now also a Blight? There was no way they could survive this!

"Elaine! Focus!" shouted Shepard again. "Look at me! What is that thing?"

"It-It's an Archdemon," she stammered. "The head of the Darkspawn Horde, the definition of a Blight."

"How are we supposed to get to the Shroud with both the Reaper and that _thing_ there?" demanded Wrex.

"I don't think we've got a big enough gun to handle that," Garrus muttered, daunted.

"Kalros!" Eve blurted. They all looked to her as if she had gone mad. "We summon her to the Reaper."

Garrus' plates seemed to drain of colour. "And how exactly are we supposed to bring the Mother of All Thresher Maws down on us, and _survive?"_

"Would it even _work?"_ asked Shepard.

Mordin nodded. "Just need to distract Reaper and Archdemon. Draw them from tower while cure is synthesised, released."

"What makes you so sure she'll come?"

"Legends say," said Eve, "that she is the mother from which all other Thresher Maws spawned. This is as much her home as ours."

"If Tuchanka has a temper, Kalros is it," Wrex puffed air through his cheeks. "No one has ever faced her and survived."

"Do any of you even hear yourselves?!" Elaine rasped, her voice hoarse from the building emotion inside her that threatened to burst in a scream. "Kalros will not defeat the Archdemon! You cannot! No one can, only–"

"Elaine!" Garrus took hold of her shoulders, capturing her eyes with his and stealing her focus. "Calm down. It's alright. We'll get through this. Just breathe, we need your head."

It only then occurred to her that her lungs were screaming for air, her breathing little more than short gasps. She forced herself to breath deep. In through the nose, out through the mouth. _Concentrate_ , she rebuked herself, _pull yourself together_ – _they need you!_

"This is the only way to get to that Tower and release the cure," said Wrex. "There's no other choice."

"But how do we summon her?" asked Shepard. "She's not a dog you can call to heel."

Eve gestured to the ruins ahead of them. "The tower was built in an arena devoted to Kalros' glory. The Salarians thought she would scare away intruders. There are two maw-hammers there. The largest in existence. If you can activate them, Kalros will come. That should distract the Reaper and Archdemon."

"Meanwhile," said Mordin, pointing into the ruins. "Lab nearby. Will finish synthesising cure."

"Okay then, people," Shepard nodded. "Let's get this done."

There was a groaning behind them, and the group turned in time to see Husks and Cannibals emerge. Wrex urged the group on, drawing out his weapon and charging down the enemy with a roar: "I AM URDNOT WREX! AND THIS IS MY PLANET!"

Elaine and the others ran for the ruins, Mordin and Eve splitting off to get to the lab. As they ducked underneath an ancient broken bridge, fireballs fell from the sky, and where they landed, a small team of Reaper forces stood, snarling their gurgled mechanical sounds. Elaine dove for the first Husk she saw, nearly slicing it in half where Starfang cut so deeply with such ease. Garrus shot down a Marauder, and Shepard blasted aside two more husks with his shotgun.

Further into the ancient arena they went, the ground shaking with the Reaper's footsteps. On they went, cutting down Husks and other monstrosities as they went. And then, there was a loud and horrendous noise as the Reaper blared its signature noise, and then a red beam of light, hotter than a blacksmith's furnace, cut through the ancient stone walkways, attempting to kill the trio. The stone crumbled underneath their feet. Elaine pitched forward, her head knocking into Shepard's armoured shoulder as she tumbled, making it ring.

The three of them hit the ground hard, Elaine's shoulder felt jarred where it had taken most of the impact. Elaine slowly rolled to her knees, her head spinning. Something warm and sticky was trickling down her temple. Whispers were filling her ears, a humming in the back of her skull intensifying.

Eyes snapping open with a jolt of fear, Elaine glanced up, to see a pair of evil mismatched eyes watching her with nothing but pure hate. The Archdemon, even from where it was miles in the sky, was looking right at her. She shivered but gripped her sword tighter, some sort of Cousland bravery she had thought to have abandoned her rushing back into her veins. It was quickly dashed, however, when the Archdemon threw its head back and screamed.

From all the corners of the ruins, from the deepest shadows, from the secret pockets and tunnels that led into the bowels of the earth, _they_ came. Darkspawn, all of them twisted to resemble something more like a Reaper's creature. Even some of the Reaper's forces were amongst them, such as Husks, yet with their flesh distorted to more resemble the Darkspawn corruption. They spewed forth from the abyss to flood into the ruins. Dozens of them. They swarmed over everything, coming straight for the trio of heros – straight for Elaine.

"Run!" she shouted.

They ran, cutting down the Darkspawn foolish enough to get in their way as they went. "Get to the Hammers!" yelled Shepard. Elaine immediately split to the right, away from the other two. She heard Garrus call her name but didn't look back. She could see the hammer ahead. A shot of red light burst overhead, searing her eyes with its brightness. It caused a column to her right to explode, missing her by a hair's breadth, though the debris struck out as her back as she continued to sprint for the hammer. The Reaper was obviously not giving up on attempting to stop them. And directly overhead, Elaine could hear the Archdemon screeching, likely urging on its horde of minions to kill her. They snapped at Elaine's heels, she could feel the wind of their claws as they swiped at the back of her neck.

A huge Hurlock Alpha stepped in front of the hammer, hefting its great-axe in both hands. Elaine could see its beedy eyes watching her from inside its crudely made helmet. It swung for her the moment she got within range. Elaine fell to the floor, skidding along the ground from her built up momentum. She passed between the Hurlock's legs, and lifted her sword to slice him open from belly, to genitals to his back. He gave a sucked in screech as he keeled over, attempting to hold himself together even as he died. Elaine paid it no attention and pressed the ancient switch on the Maw-Hammer. It sounded with a resounding BANG that made her breastbone vibrate.

She spun to face the oncoming Darkspawn masses that were sure to be almost upon her. Ready for the fight of her life, Elaine hefted sword and shield. And that was when she felt the second Maw-Hammer strike as Shepard and Garrus activated theirs.

There was a moment of stillness – even the Darkspawn paused and waited to see what became of the bone-quaking noise. Above them, the Reaper grew still, slowly turning its massive bulk out towards the expanse of ruins and sand beyond the arena. The Archdemon also turned to watch something approach. Elaine tried to see what it was they were waiting for.

The only warning she had was the ground suddenly erupting as a huge worm burst out from it. Elaine had seen a Thresher Maw before, but nothing so large as this! As it hit the Reaper, its mouth was almost wide enough to completely fit around the upper part of the machine's body. Its huge coils crashed into the floor, right atop where Elaine stood. They crushed the Darkspawn that had been preparing to do battle with her, and the Warden herself barely managed to get out of the way in time before the stone gaveway beneath her.

The Reaper attempted to shake off its monstrous attack, shaking it back and forth, letting loose its laser in the hopes that it would hurt it enough to let go. One of these stray shots, was sent too high up. It came far too close to hitting the flank of the Archdemon. The dragon weaved aside, screeching in outrage at the shot that barely missed. Its cries went unnoticed, however, by the battling titans below. The Thresher Maw had been briefly shaken off by the Reaper, and hurriedly sank into the ground to avoid more strikes from the laser.

Elaine took the brief respite to leap over the closest wall and make a run for the Shroud. It was a pity that she did not stop to even look at how the epic battle was concluded, but she heard it well enough. Though the Reaper cautiously watched the ground, seeming to await Kalros' reappearance, it was still unprepared for when the Maw struck at it from behind. The blow had such momentum behind it that the Reaper was knocked off its feet. That was the beginning of the end.

Kalros wrapped her gigantic length around the Reaper, constricting around it like a snake. Yet still, the Reaper did not give up. As if in a plea for help, the Reaper gazed upwards towards the skies, towards the Archdemon hovering in midair. It seemed to call out to the dragon, order it to help it, to save it from death. The Archdemon cocked its head, watching with avid interest the destruction of its supposed master, with no real desire to help whatsoever. Impassively, it observed the Thresher Maw begin to drag the Reaper down into the ground, creating a hole in the earth that swallowed ruins and Darkspawn alike to be crushed in the Reaper's dark grave. With one last puff of dirt and debris, both titans had vanished from sight.

The Archdemon looked about, noticing its forces on this planet to be depleted. Instead of carrying on the fight, instead of going after the Grey Warden it knew lurked close by, instead of making sure the cure for the genophage was destroyed as its masters had instructed, it left. It abandoned the fight all together, pointing itself upwards in the sky and soaring higher and higher. At some point, its cybernetically enhanced lungs switched gears so as to help it survive the vacuum of space, and it vanished from sight of Tuchanka altogether.

* * *

Elaine was still running as she made it into the courtyard. There, she spotted Mordin and Eve. The female Krogan didn't look so good, hunched over and seeming to be continuously coughing. Though beginning to tire, even with her runes aiding her, Elaine put in one extra burst of speed to reach them.

"Mordin! Eve! Are you alright?"

Eve attempted to wave her off, but her coughing only grew worse. "I-I – _ahem! –_ I'm fine, Elaine!"

"Is not." Mordin told Elaine with a huff. "Procedure traumatic for Eve, but not lethal. Maelon's research invaluable to keep her alive."

"Glad – _ahem!_ – some good came – _gah!_ – of it…"

"Hush, Eve," Elaine said, slinging the female shaman's arm across her shoulder in an attempt to help her stand. "You need to save your strength."

Above, there came a loud snapping sound. A part of the Shroud tower exploding, raining debris into the air. Elaine was uncertain what had caused this sudden complication. Was it because of the battle against the Reaper? She didn't know.

"Mordin, what's happening?"

"Scans read temperature malfunction," he said, bringing up his omnitool though Elaine had no idea how to read any of the words on it. "Will need to treat it myself if cure to be viable."

"Elaine! _Ack…_ listen to me," Eve rasped, clutching hold of the Warden's armour, her eyes wide, fearful, desperate. "You must be sure Mordin makes it! This cure must be done – our children must be saved."

There was a hidden emotion inside of Eve's words, as if she was standing on the edge of a razor, and should this last hope prove to be for nothing, she would fall right off the edge. Before the Warden could voice her reasurances, do anything to wipe away that fear, she saw a figure coming towards them. Shepard! He jogged over, looking to each of their faces to be sure they were alright.

"Shepard," Elaine smiled. "The cure's ready, but you need to go with Mordin. There's a temperature problem and–"

Eve attempted to struggle. "No! I said–"

"I'm going to get you to safety, Eve. You're too spent to carry on and I'm not leaving you here. If you die here today, then you won't get to see all of your wonderful and beautiful children that are going to be born. Every Krogan born from this day forth will call you _mother_ , for what you've done for them. That, I think, is a perfect future to look forward to."

"But what of the cure?"

"Shepard will be sure the deed is done. He's never failed us before. I have every faith he will do the same now."

She glanced up and found that Shepard was watching her with such a stricken look on his face, she thought he was wounded. But a moment later, he blinked the emotion aside and nodded mutely. Elaine felt a sense of dread start to form in her stomach. All day, Shepard had been acting strangely, and for some reason anxiety pricked inside her to doubt her own words she'd just spoken. She brushed such thoughts aside. _No, this is Shepard,_ she reminded herself.

Without another word, or a glance at Shepard lest she change her mind, Elaine helped Eve to hobble along and away from the Shroud. Silently, she prayed to the Maker that her words proved to be true.

* * *

Shepard followed at Mordin's heels as he made his way to the base of the tower. With every step he took, the Commander felt his boots get heavier and heavier with the indecision that plagued his heart. He felt like he was on the edge of panicking. Everything was happening too fast, he hadn't come to a decision, yet!

"Control room at top of tower," Mordin was saying to him. "Must take elevator up."

The got Shepard's attention. He craned his neck to see the top of the tower, alight with flames as the entire thing began to crumble and fall apart as miniature explosions alighted on almost every floor. It was clear to go to the top would be suicide. Shepard felt his guts twist. "Wait, you're going up there?"

"Yes. Readings at lab suggest temperature malfunction. Could affect cure viability. Need to adjust settings manually."

He couldn't watch Mordin die. And in the same instant, Shepard knew he needed the best chance to defeat the Reapers. "It's too dangerous, Mordin! We need to get outta here!"

"No. temperature variants could destroy cure. Time running out! Have to go up."

Before the salarian could move, Shepard's hand clamped down upon his shoulder. His heart was tearing itself in two. He had to shut off the emotions before they ate him alive. His voice was a quiet monotone. "Mordin… you're not going up."

And Mordin, brilliant as ever, was able to figure it out. "Concerned for my safety, yes. But not just that. Concerned I might discover something? Sabotage? But whose? Ah!" the Salarian sent Shepard a look so disdainful, the commander felt it cut him like a thousand knives. "Why, Shepard? That desperate for Salarian aid?"

"The Dalatrass offered me a deal. Her full support for the cruicible project."

"Difficult moral circumstance. Salarian assistance reluctant. Minimal. Need their loyalty for intel, assistance with Cruicible. Understandable. But not acceptable." He shrugged off Shepard's hand, marching for the elevator. "Will not sacrifice Krogan for political gain."

Desperation to regain control made Shepard snap in anger as he followed. "Every time we've talked about this before, you've defended the Genophage. Hell, I had to even talk you in to saving Maelon's data. How can you change your mind now?"

"I made a _MISTAKE_!" Mordin shouted in the loudest, angriest voice Shepard had ever heard from him. The Salarian rounded on the human, eyes alight with burning shame and fury. But then his voice quietened, and he just looked _old_ and sad. "I made a mistake. Focused on big picture. Big picture made of little pictures. Too many variables! Can't hide behind statistics. Can't ignore new data. My responsibility. Need to go! Running out of time!"

He went to walk into the waiting elevator. Shepard knew what he had to do, but every bone in his body was screaming against it. He never turned on his crew! They were family, he mustn't! But his body was no longer his own. He was already reaching for his pistol. In a blink, it was out, the safety off, pointed at Mordin's back.

"Mordin… walk away. I don't have a choice here."

"Always have a choice."

Eyes suddenly stinging, Shepard tried to bite his lip, to regain composure, to will away this feeling of _helplessness._ "Mordin, I mean it!"

"Shepard, please." The Salarian slowly turned, hands raised, his eyes pleading with his commander, with his friend… "Need to do this. My project. My work. My cure. My responsibility. Had to be me. Someone else might've gotten it wrong…"

The moment seemed to be suspended in time. Shepard held his breath. What was he to do? A thousand voices crashed through his head, each shouting their opinion on the subject. Each one attempting to persuade him to their side.

 _You have not seen the piles of child that never lived… Do you honestly believe curing the Genophage will end in lasting peace… Then we will have our revenge… If you die here today, then you won't get to see all of your wonderful and beautiful children that are going to be born… War with them is inevitable… The Krogan were wronged… We can provide you our very best scientists to build the Cruicible, and the full support of our fleets… He's never failed us before. I have every faith he will do the same now…_

And now was the moment. He had to make the choice…


	16. The Kelphic Valley

**Author's Note: Sorry this is a day late, my lovely readers. Unfortunately, life hasn't been doing so well. But I hope this chapter makes up for it. And next week's should hopefully be on time.**

 **Also, Response to last chapter was AMAZING you guys! Please, let's keep it up!**

 **Song inspiration was "Satellite" by Nickleback. And finally, just a heads up that this chapter contains "M" rated situations.**

* * *

"A long time ago," said Wrex as he and Eve walked through the empty halls of the Hollows. Shepard followed behind them, his feet weighing heavily on the ground. "My father betrayed me in this place. His own son. He tried to kill me. So I had to kill him… right over there. That's what the Genophage reduced us to. Animals. But you changed that today, Shepard."

Shepard had been unaware that they'd stopped until he heard a familiar English accented voice. "I told you he would." He looked up to see they'd reached the central chamber. Garrus and Elaine were waiting for him. The Warden had her long pale hair down from its usual ponytail, a proud smile on her face.

Eve nodded in approval. "Indeed you did, Warden. Now we'll fight for our children, not against them... It's just a pity Mordin had to die."

A lump formed in Shepard's throat. The image of Mordin's pleading eyes, starting to glisten with tears, lacerated his soul. It was suddenly hard to breathe. "He wouldn't have had it any other way. But I'm sure, wherever he is… He's putting in a good word for us."

Garrus and Elaine swept towards him. Elaine looked genuinely sorrowful, which Shepard thought odd. She and the Salarian doctor had never seen eye to eye and hadn't been that close. And yet here she appeared ready to fully mourn him. Garrus already knew how this was affecting his Commander. He knew how much Shepard wanted to keep his crew alive, to take the sacrifices for them. He squeezed Shepard's shoulder in a silent gesture of support.

"We'll name one of the kids after him," Wrex's teasing tone cut through the unspoken grief, and though to any other it might seem insulting, it actually helped to pull Shepard back together. "Maybe a girl."

Eve stepped forward, her eyes twitching as she held back the emotions threatening to overwhelm her. "But you, Commander – we can thank _you_ in person."

"Shepard, I…" For the first time since Shepard had known him, Wrex seemed a little unsure. He strolled forward to the Commander, until only a few inches separated them. And then, he took up Shepard's hand and held it in his. "I just wanted you to know – you've been a champion to the Krogan people, a friend of Clan Urdnot, and a brother to me. To every Krogan born after this day, the name 'Shepard' will mean Hero!"

It was all Shepard could do to fling his arms around the Krogan, to pull him in to a fierce and tight embrace. The lump in his throat was almost choking him. After so long, fighting by Wrex's side, to think of him as brother and to now have it be voiced aloud on this day? He was sure it was all meant to test him, to see if he would break.

When he and Wrex finally moved away, Elaine's soothing voice brought gentle tranquility. "What will you do now?"

"Spread the hope you have all given us," said Eve. "Even now, there are clans gathering in the Kelphic Valley. I'll go speak to them and make sure this gift isn't squandered. Thank you for all that you've done." She reached out and touched Elaine's shoulder fondly. "And child? Know that Urdnot _Bakara_ calls you a friend."

Elaine beamed.

"Tell the Turians I'll be deploying troops to Palaven immediately," said Wrex. "And when you're ready to kick the Reaper's off Earth, you let me know. The Krogan are back in business!"

* * *

The celebration lasted long into the night. Krogans of every clan gathered as Eve had described, and more poured in from nearby star systems to witness this miracle for themselves. A couple bands of Krogan warriors went off into the wastes and killed a smaller Thresher Maw to provide food for all those that gathered. Ryncol was passed around and the Krogan equivalent of 'music' and 'dancing' went on and on well past the sunset and into the night.

Shepard wandered from camp fire to camp fire, observing the party in full effect though never really joining in it. Wrex had invited him and all the crew of the Normandy to stay for the festivities, to be recognised by the Krogan people as true War Heroes. Shepard didn't feel much like celebrating. He spoke with those who came up to him but he never initiated talk. His mind was too conflicted. It did not mean he found no appreciation of the joy the Krogan had found after over a thousand years of heartbreak. A large part of him wanted to join them in this victory, to see Wrex bask in the culmination of his years of work. And yet a voice inside his head kept reminding him of the consequences of this victory…

Scattered through out the valley, he found his crew in various stages of inebriation. He found Vega attempting to impress a few Krogan with his workout regime, though the results were not as spectacular as Vega likely intended due to his drunkeness. Cortez and Traynor were attempting to outfox each other with inventive drinking tricks and other games. Chakwas and Engineer Adams were sipping their drinks in one quiet corner of the camp, speaking quietly and soberly, yet still with small smiles on their faces. Javik looked on everyone with a near constant frown of disdain.

And then, Shepard found _her._ It was just for a moment, that he watched her longingly as she lost herself in conversation with Wrex. He watched the way she talked, the way she stood, the way her blue face would light up with interest. His stare must've been heavier than he thought, or she somehow managed to sense him. She turned and caught his eye, and her warm smile instantly faded to be replaced with concern. Of course, she could read him like an open book.

Liara hurriedly disengaged herself from conversation and went to Shepard's side. He tried to urge her to go back, barrating himself for spoiling her fun, but his beloved Asari would have none of it. "James," she said in that voice as smooth as silk yet scolding like a mother hen. "I know when something's bothering you. Please, I just want to help."

At first, he was at a loss for words. For what could he say? But as he looked around the camp, attempting to find a place to begin, his conflict just came spilling out. "I don't know how to feel, Liara. About any of this…"

"And why is that?"

"I… I cured the Genophage, Liara," he whispered, the weight of the decision, even when it was made hours ago, still hung heavy on his shoulders. "I really cured it. The Krogan can breed again. Mordin died. And I let it happen. Liara, how am I supposed to feel about that?"

"Well," she started slowly. "Whenever I'm faced with conflicting options, I always stack up pros against cons. Let me help, Shepard. What's the pros?"

The childish way of resolving this issue should have frustrated him, but coming from that sweet face, all it did was endear her to him. He snorted but went along with her idea. "Pros? Mordin made it clear he was going to cure the genophage, and I'd have to kill him to stop him. I couldn't do it. I couldn't murder a friend, and then betray another all in the same action. You're all family to me."

Her hand reached up to cup his cheek. "You made us a family."

"Another pro? We need the Krogan in this war. They can be the blunt force trauma to hammer our defence line, to beat back the Reapers. With their support, I get both them and the Turians on our side for when we get to take back Earth."

"Alright. So what's the cons?"

"I've lost the Salarians," came the quiet reply. "Liara, we need them. We need their brains to put together the Crucible. We need their espionage to learn more about our enemy. We need their fleets for its high-tech weapon innovations. But because of this stunt we aren't ever going to get that. We might've been one step closer to finishing the Crucible if not for this cure."

"Shepard," Liara admonished gently. "You cannot undo the past now. Look forward, not back. We can win this – _you_ can win this. We might've lost the Salarians but that is their choice to make. Don't ever doubt yourself. Because I don't."

He was swept away by her faith in him, lost in the warmth she made bloom inside his chest. Unable to help himself, he swept her up in his arms and held her close. Liara squeaked in surprise, but quickly returned the embrace. He felt her hands run through his close-cut hair, felt hr face press against his neck. All then tension bled out of him at her soothing presence.

"When did you get to be so wise?" he whispered to her back.

"Since knowing you." She pulled back just a little, to brush her face along his. Her lips ghosted his in chaste kiss that made his every nerve shudder with anticipation. Their noses touched, but she never closed that gap between them. "We'll find a way, Shepard. You and I. And besides, not every brilliant scientist is a Salarian."

He smiled. She smiled. And Shepard, swept away in the perfect curvature of her lips, leaned forward those last few centimetres and kissed her. Liara welcomed him, her mouth moulding against his, allowing him to drink in the taste of her. Shepard felt fit to burst as he held her tight, for a fraction of second, everything felt right in the galaxy. And then they pulled away. A small peck at the corner of her mouth was his promise that this wasn't over between them, that this was to be continued at a later date. Her slight blush and smile was his answer.

Fingers laced through hers, Shepard walked with her back through the valley. He cared not if anyone saw them, and from what he could tell, Liara wasn't concerned either. They held onto each other, walking from fire to fire. And then they gravitated towards a familiar voice. The pair of them found a smaller fire, around which sat Garrus and Elaine on one side, and Joker and EDI on the other. Joker had a bottle of beer clasped in one hand, and was leaning on EDI as he laughed.

"My turn," Garrus announced. "Whats the first order an alliance officer gives at the start of combat?"

Joker, stifling his previous giggles, attempted to think, but quickly looked dumbfounded. "Uhhh… I give up."

"Correct." Chortled Garrus.

The human pilot smirked, and Shepard recognised that look of _challenge accepted._ "Aright, big guy. What do you call it when a Turian gets killed by a horrible spikey monster?"

"Friendly fire. Come on, that one goes back to Shanxi!"

Joker shrugged. "Gotta respect the classics."

Shepard chuckled under his breath, and then felt a nudge at his elbow. Liara gestured for them to join the fire, and he obeyed. "What are you lot up to?"

"Shepard!" Joker cheered. "Come on, we're sharing racist jokes!"

"Jeff," EDI said, her expression seeming to be torn between frustration and confusion. She indicated towards the Krogan crowds the surrounded them but were otherwise not paying attention. "Considering our current company, perhaps it would be best to not give in to such humour that plays on racial stereotypes."

"I think there's something to be said for racist jokes," said Shepard. "Allows to blow off that steam, to actually insult others without ever really meaning it."

"See?" Joker grinned. "Lisence to be a jerk! You heard it from the Commander,"

"My turn again!" said Garrus. "How many humans does it take to activate a dormant mass relay?"

Both Joker and Shepard sighed and replied in unison. "602. 600 to vote on it, one to ask the Asari for technical help, and one to request a seat on the council afterwards."

"How do you know when a Turian's out of ammo?" asked Shepard.

Garrus winked. "He switches to the stick up his ass as a back up weapon. Why does the Alliance hire pilots with Brittle-Bone-Disease?"

Joker spat out the beer he had been attempting to chug down. " _Pffffftttt!_ Y-You're shitting me! The Turian military has one about me?"

"Oh, absolutely. I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven."

"Alright, why does the Alliance hire pilots with Brittle-Bone-Disease?"

"So their marines can beat someone in hand to hand drills."

The pilot winced. "Damn, you need to tell Vega that one! Hey, what's the hardest part about treating a Turian that took a rocket to one side of his face?"

"Figuring out which side took the rocket?"

"Is this normal for celebrating a victory?" Elaine asked aloud. Shepard was a little surprised to be reminded she was there, she'd been unusually quiet. "Just telling each other jokes? No feasting or drinking? No memorials?"

"Feasting's a little off the menu for me," said Garrus. "Thresher Maw doesn't really agree with my digestion."

Joker held his nearly empty bottle of beer aloft. "And I'm definitely drinking!"

"It just seems a little mellow," the Grey Warden shrugged, "considering what we accomplished today."

"Yeah! Never thought I'd see the Krogan and the Turians team up. Even the Reapers have to be a little nervous about pissing them off."

Garrus stretched out his neck, his mandibles spread in a dark smirk that reminded Shepard of the turian's archangel days. "I'd say more than a little."

"Hey Shepard?" said Joker, "I'm sorry about Mordin…"

And just like that, Shepard's good mood vanished. He gratefully accteped Liara's hand squeezing his shoulder, and the beer Joker offered. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. "He was a good man."

"Yeah – but he was always running those tests. One time he tagged me in the middle of the night to ask me how many livers humans have. And this bump on my elbow? He said it was just a mild bone deformation, but I'm pretty sure he stuck a probe in there."

One thing Shepard loved about Joker, was his ability to always make him smile, no matter the situation. "Glad it was just your elbow."

Garrus hummed thoughtfully to himself. "I always thought he was crazy. Useful, but crazy. Then he gives up his own life…"

"To save the _Krogan?"_ said Joker. "Doesn't do much to disprove the crazy theory, huh?"

"I guess not. But he was one of ours."

Elaine held up a glass in the air about her head. "I might not have always agreed with him, but Mordin truly was a man worthy of respect. To Mordin!"

They all raised up whatever beverage they held. "To Mordin!"

Shepard stuck around that fire with the others for quite a while. For a single night, they all forgot the looming weight of the war, and simply acted normal. It was almost like they were on shore leave. Eventually, Shepard stepped away, merely to see to his omnitool, to make note of incoming messages and sent them on to Traynor to sort out. As he did, he felt a presence by his side, and then heard Garrus' rich tones. "So how does it feel, knowing Krogan will be singing songs about you until the end of time? I'd think it would be an honour."

Shepard nodded, looking out over the sea of rejoicing Krogan faces. "There's enough misery in this universe. Nice to see something go right for a change."

"Can't say I've ever seen history in the making like this. Well, except for Sovereign attacking the Citadel. And then there was the Collector Base, but… _this one_ felt good." Garrus said. "Let's hope Wrex keeps running the show on Tuchanka. Maybe we should hire him a food taster? Imagine the carnage if someone like that brother of his took over.

The thought sobered the Commander quickly. "It could happen…"

"I know. It's a chance we have to take, but I have to say, if it wasn't my own world that needed the help… I might've looked for a way out."

"The Salarian Dalatrass offered me one. Her people's full support if I sabotaged the cure."

Garrus growled quietly in his throat. "Oh, that's nasty. Even for them."

"To be honest, I thought about it, Garrus. Nearly went through with it. But when it came down to it, I couldn't make that choice."

"Well, as you humans say, Karma's a bitch. They'll get what's coming to them, I'm sure."

Something caught their attention out of the corner of their eyes. They both turned to see Elaine creeping away from the camp fires, heading towards the secluded darkness at the edge of the valley, amongst the remains of buildings centuries old. The two men exchanged a look. Garrus shrugged, before going off to find the blonde woman. Shepard watched him go, before determining to find his own woman before retiring for the night.

* * *

Elaine climbed up through the ruins, testing her footing on the half-collapsed wall as she attempted to reach for the hole in the ceiling. Pulling herself up and through it, she finally reached the top. Up here, several floors up, the sound of the camp fires in the valley was muted. It allowed for a sense of privacy. The skies were clear, giving Elaine a view of all the stars, more beautiful than any painting. They twinkled down at her, the only witnesses. Looking over the side of the roof, the Warden could spy far down into the valley, where she could see green and new life growing in abundance. Her breath was taken away to see the plant life glow faintly blue in the dark. In the corner of the roof, a shrub was growing out from between the cracked brick work. Blooming at the top of it was a large flower with triangular petals, white at the outer edges fading into dusty yellow at the centre. Along each vein in every petal, blue light gave the flower a dim illumination.

Who would've thought a planet as brutal as Tuchanka could be so beautiful?

And to think, how close they had come to losing such beauty?

Immediately, Elaine's awe vanished to be replaced by the frantic fretting that had driven her up here seeking privacy. The Archdemon had been here. The Darkspawn had been here. Elaine tried to berate herself as to how she could've been so stupid to try and ignore the signs! She'd had suspicions up until this point. The Collectors had been dealing with something beyond their capabilities, Elaine had even seen in dreams the experiments they'd carried out to covert the Archdemon to become one of the Reapers. Of course, back then, she'd thought them nothing more than nightmares of a traumatised mind. Now, she deduced they'd been glimpses of the Archdemon's reality. And now she had to deal with a Blight… on a galactic scale… Even the thought of such a monumental task made her feel ill.

"So, what's eating you up?"

She jumped at the voice, spinning to see Garrus pulling himself up through the hole onto her roof. Quickly, she rushed over and helped to pull him up. "Oh! Garrus, I… Sorry, I just needed some fresh air."

"Yeah. I gathered," he grunted, accepting the help as she pulled him up to his feet.

Elaine winced. "Was I that obvious?"

"Well, you've been quiet all evening, and you haven't drunk a thing." He still hadn't let go of her hand, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on her knuckles, his eyes filled with soft concern. "Wanna tell me what's bothering you? Is it about what happened today?"

The Warden's voice was hollow as she admitted, "The Archdemon was _here,_ Garrus."

"I know. I mean, you talked about it before but…" he did the Turian equivalent of puffing air out of his cheeks. "Damn. That thing was something else."

"I don't know what to do, Garrus," she said quietly, fearfully. "This war just turned into a Blight. And I'm the only Warden. And I don't know where the Archdemon is now, or how to find it and–"

"Hey, hey," he caught hold of her shoulder, his eyes attempting to catch hers. "Elaine, it's alright. Calm down."

"Calm down?" she repeated incredulously. "Garrus, are you not hearing me? Do you not understand what I'm–"

"Yes. I do." His voice was stern in order to be heard above her ramblings. His hand slipped up from her shoulder to cup her face. His palm of his glove was rough, but warm. And then, he gently pressed his forehead to hers. Elaine's breath caught in her throat, her heart hammering when she heard his soft voice surround her. "But I also know that we can't fix that right now. We just saved an entire species, Elaine. We made history. If nothing else, that's something to celebrate."

"But–"

"And yeah, when we get back to the Normandy, we'll definitely need to talk about _that_. But I don't wanna see you tearing yourself up with worry over something you can't change. It's here. We'll deal with it. Together."

There was no point arguing if he was this determined to see things this way. Instead, she shook her head. The sound of distant music and laughter drifted up to them, an echo on a warm breeze to their rooftop. She gestured down to the masses of Krogan's in the valley. "Do you think any of them are aware how close they came to losing? How can they dance after what happened?"

"Very poorly, I imagine. Krogans have a terrible sense of rhythm." His straight face humour never failed to at least make her chuckle.

But the reminder of reality awaiting them down below was enough to erase the lightness he made her feel. "Come. We had better return. The others might be looking for us."

"Let them wait." He gently took her hand back into his. Elaine felt herself mesmerisd by the gleam of his eyes in the semi-darkness. A sparkle of mischief entered his eyes. He bent over her hand, his breath ghosting the back of her wrist. "Care to show them how it's done?"

Elaine stared at the Turian as if he had sprouted a second set of mandibles. "What? You mean dance? Are you serious?"

"I thought we made pretty good partners last time,"

Memories of that night in Afterlife flashed through her mind. That dance. The way her body pressed against his. It was supposed to be pretend, a false passion to ensnare their prey. However, it had felt far too real in the moment. Elaine felt her cheeks burn hot. "It was rather _memorable_ …"

With a smirk of triumph, he wrapped one arm around her waist, his hand settling on her back. Automatically, Elaine moved her right hand to his shoulder whilst her left was captured in his free hand. Garrus led the dance, swaying with her across the roof. They moved to the beat of the distant music down below, or perhaps it was to the beat of Elaine's loud heartbeat in her ears; she was unsure. They turned, and Garrus raised their arms so that Elaine could spin underneath them. She giggled, which was quickly stolen by a gasp as he caught her middle and suddenly dipped her backwards.

He laughed with her as he straightened her up to stand. Elaine was smiling now. Her worries momentarily forgotten. And that was when, as she looked up into Garrus' face, she realised just how much she loved him. No one in all her life had been able to do for her what he did. He supported her, had confidence in her, made her feel beautiful and strong. And when she felt the weight of everything pressing down on her, he was able to make her forget it all, to feel normal. In his arms, they were the only two people in the whole galaxy to exist. She loved him. She already knew that. But now she realised there was no one else. There never would be anyone else. He was what kept her going, he was the one who brought light back into her dark and miserable world. He was the one.

As if knowing the weight of the moment, Garrus slowed their dancing, so that they merely swayed side to side. He pulled her closer, until their bodies were pressed together. In the quiet between them, Garrus whispered, "We'll get through this. You're not in the dark ages anymore, Elaine. We've got technology that might help. You don't have to do this alone."

She sighed, allowing the tension to melt out of her body. Garrus pulled her into his arms, embracing her tightly as she folded against him. "I'm sorry. It's just that I've spent so long being the only one. The only Cousland. The only Warden. The only Thedosian."

"Not anymore. You got Shepard. You got the crew. You got me." He pulled her back just enough to stroke his thumb along the line of her jaw. "You've always got me."

Leaning up on her toes, Elaine pressed a soft and gentle kiss against his mouth plates. She had no other way to respond to his kindness, to his devotion. Garrus hesitantly returned it, meeting her half way with easing pressure. She felt his mandibles brush her cheek, the taste of cinnamon – the taste of _Garrus_ – teasing her senses. She moaned.

All too soon, they had to split apart for air. Panting, Garrus pressed his forehead to hers again. "Spirits, I really have missed you, Elaine."

"Probably not nearly as much as I've missed you…"

They met once again in a passionate kiss. This time, Elaine's tongue tentatively darted out to press the edge of his mouth plates, begging entrance. Garrus was all too eager to allow it. She tasted him, the real him; all hot and sweet cinnamon flooding her senses. Her tongue was excited to be reacquainted with him; it touched the tips of his fangs, stroked along his thick blue tongue, flicked against the roof of his mouth.

A purr rumbled out of Garrus' chest as he pulled her closer against him, so tight, it was as if he wanted to fuse them together forever. Elaine reached her arms around his shoulders in order to cling to him. One hand drifted to the back of his neck, stroking higher and higher until she found the soft flesh just beneath his fringe. She remembered his lessons, stroked and massaged him there until his purr transformed into a more of a growl. Her entire body tingled at the sound, liquid heat shooting through to that apex between her legs.

Talons suddenly tangled themselves in her hair. They pulled and yanked at the band until it surrendered, and her golden locks tumbled free. And then Garrus was running his fingers through her hair, stroking her face, her neck, her waist. It was suddenly too hot, she was burning from the inside out. Her hands regretfully had to leave him so that she could undo the straps and buckles of her armour. With impressive speed, her gauntlets popped free, then her chestpiece. Every now and then she returned for fleeting, hungry kisses. Garrus followed her example, the pair of them tossing aside their garments across the roof.

"Elaine…" came her name on a tortured moan as Garrus ripped himself away from her. Guilt shone in his eyes. "I don't wanna push you. If you're not–"

"Garrus," she murmured his name, sweetly, reverently. She followed him, cupping his warm face between her now bare hands. The texture of his plates, his skin, was a welcome song to her touch. "Do you want me? Here and now?"

His eyes drifted from her face down her body, her torso now only clad in her skin-tight undersuit. He paused, his throat bobbed. "Yes…" and then his gaze snapped back to hers, worried. "Do you?"

" _Maker_ , yes," she said breathlessly, pressing her lips to his chin. Gently, she traced his scars. "You could never hurt me, Garrus."

He caught hold of her hand, turned it, and pressed his mouth-plates to the inside of her wrist. "Never."

They helped to guide each other the rest of the way to freedom from their clothes. Simultaneously, they unzipped the other's undersuit. As each section of flesh was exposed, they touched, explored, reacquainted. Garrus kissed Elaine from her throat to her collarbone to her shoulder. Elaine scratched her fingernails down his pectorals. He reverently swept his hands down her spine to cup her buttocks. She massaged his waist whilst kissing and biting and sucking on the soft flesh of his throat.

Garrus' fingers swept across her breasts, his talons grazing the edges of her nipples. Elaine hissed, arching into his touch. A hand pressed against the back of her neck, urging her stay at his throat. It was only then that she realised how loudly he was purring for her, how bright his eyes had become with lust at her work. She hastily returned to her job, her fingers running up and down his shoulders and arms and across his carapace. As much as she could, she dug her nails in between each of his plates, making sure he felt her scratch at him.

As she worked, Garrus' hand that had teased her breast drifted down the planes of her stomach, tickling her navel and across her hip. He grabbed the back of her thigh and hoisted up her left leg. Silently instructing her to keep her balance, he hooked that leg around his waist, giving it purchase to stay put on his jutting hipbone. Then, he stroked the back of his knuckle up the inside of her thigh. Elaine trembled, momentarily forgetting herself, only to be reminded by the other hand at that back of her neck. She felt with agonising clarity exactly where Garrus' hand was as he drifted further and further up her thigh.

When he found her folds, Elaine couldn't stop herself from gasping, her hips surging. Garrus growled ferally at the friction of her leg clenching around his waist, adding to his pleasure of her already dialing him up at his neck. He stroked her, teased her, hinted at touching her, only to draw his hand away. Elaine whimpered against his skin. When he found her clit, she purposefully bit him. He gasped at that. Thrusting her hips against him, she demanded he touch her again. Slowly at first, but building, he rubbed her, prodded her, stroked her the way she had taught him she liked it. He still remembered as if it were only yesterday they'd been together, and not over seven months.

The gathering momentum on her clit was stoking a fire, an urgency that made her blood race through her body. Scandelously, she was moving herself against his hand, and the movement made her leg rub his waist over and over. And then, he dared to crook a single finger and slip it inside her. Elaine nearly felt like soaring as her body became abuzz with sparking electricity. Dizzily, she tried to breathe, but then Garrus was moving her face so that he could capture her lips. He kissed her, deep and hot, as his fingers worked her faster from both inside and out. Her heart was tripping over itself, her stomach was flipping. All too soon, she felt the wave spring upon her from nowhere, and her body clenched around his finger, from back to hips going stiff as she came. Her gasps were stolen away in Garrus' hungry kiss. He allowed her to drift back down through her shockwaves of pleasure.

Heat blooming through her yet her thirst maddeningly not sated, she stared up at him. There, she saw her own lust reflected back at her and it stoked her fires to be fully replenished again, to think someone desired her with such ferocity. And then she glanced down, and noticed Garrus' plates had shifted, his member now fully exposed and stood to attention for her to admire. Enamoured, she reached down to stroke his grey-blue length. Garrus threw his head back, his breathing ragged.

"Elaine! I…" He pulled her against him suddenly. Elaine wasn't sure how they ended up there, but one moment she was kissing him again, the next, Garrus was lying on the floor, and she was poised and straddled above him. Garrus' hands stroked up and down her legs, squeezing her thighs and scracting his talons along her skin. Elaine shivered, and bent to kiss him, slow and long until they couldn't breathe. Her hair fell to curtain them from view. He broke from her to trail kisses down her jaw and to her neck. Lapping his tongue along her throat, he stroked at her clit again, earning a loud moan from her. His tongue flicked her ear lobe, and then he was whispering in a deep and husky voice, "Let me watch…"

She smiled and pressed their brows together. Leaning back, she never broke eye contact with him as she reached down and grasped hold of his member. Garrus stiffened at her touch, and Elaine couldn't help but mischievously tease him, pumping him into her hand. He snarled to himself, fists clenching in the dirt. Elaine would've loved to watch him come undone, but seeing his pleasure only made her hungrier to join him. Guiding him to her entrance, she stroked him in her wetness, letting him appreciate how much her body was begging to be reunited with his. A pause. Slowly, she pressed herself down on him. Her body stretched to accommodate him, but even though she had welcomed him so many times, it still felt a little strenuous after so long apart. But she didn't stop, didn't want to, not until he was seated to the hilt inside her and she felt speared to the core.

They had to take a moment to accommodate each other. Elaine had to register every delicious feeling of friction, of sparks flying through her flesh with every move he made. Just having him there, still, felt as if she was taxed to her limit, and yet every part of her was singing to welcome him home.

Just a little, she eased off and then returned. Small movements at first, and each one made her mouth drop further open. Garrus' hands were back on her thighs, stroking her feverish skin as she worked herself into a slow rhythm. She knew this must be hell for him, for her to go so slow, but it was heaven for her! He grasped hold of her hips, his talons scratching her skin, his thumbs stroking circles. He reached further up and cupped her breasts in his hands. Elaine choked, her hips bucking involuntarily and sprouting a lightning strike inside her in response. Encouraged, Garrus squeezed her, moulded her, as if she were clay he wanted to shape. The rough pads of his thumbs encircled her nipples, and then began to tease the nubs that came to life.

Elaine began to pick up speed, motivated to take him faster, deeper. She rode him, slamming herself down onto him over and over. Garrus grunted, his hands returning to her hips, helping to lift her up and down so that they could build together. Elaine could feel a second wave building, she was almost there. She slammed her hands down onto Garrus' chest, to better anchor herself as she worked her hips harder. Wordless cries broke from her, pleading, begging without speech. Garrus didn't need to be told. One hand dipped between them and stroked her clit.

With a cry, Elaine felt her walls of self control burst open. Her hips surged and thrusted erratically as she came hard and fast. Her walls squeezed around Garrus, making him feel every pulse of the highest pleasure. She threw her head back, and was so far removed from reality in her rush of bliss, she was limp and unable to do anything as Garrus took hold of her and spun them around. The cold ground dug into her back, a pain that contrasted and amplified her pleasure as Garrus took up position between her legs, grabbed hold of her hands and pinned them down, and then began to thrust into her.

He pumped himself hard and fast, slamming home so deep he touched a spot inside Elaine that sent fireworks bursting each time he hit it. Elaine begged him for more, chanted his name, clung to him with her legs and stretched her neck to one side so that he could bury his face in her throat. Her hips gave a violent judder, and then suddenly she was coming again. She burst apart, hips locking and back arching, the force of it was so powerful. It rocked her insides to such a degree that she felt liquid fire shoot out of her to coat him in her pleasure. Impossibly, it allowed him to slide easier and _deeper_. She was still coming as he fucked her sensitive walls. This tidal wave was unending, and she felt as if she was going to break into a million pieces at any second. And then, with a few last slamming thrusts, Garrus reached his peak! He buried his face into her neck, into her hair, and roared as his body went stiff and he burst apart inside her. The sensation of his seed shooting into her was like liquid heat striking her again and again. Elaine's body trembled, too fragile to do anything but bask in the ricochets.

She held onto him, even as he struggled to catch himself on his elbows so as not to crush her. She kissed him when they were finally able to look each other in the eye, panting and glowing from head to foot. And she stayed with him through the night as they lay there in the dark, with only the stars above them and the promise of new life all around them.

* * *

The next morning, Shepard walked around like a zombie. His eyeballs felt like they were bruning in their sockets. The heavy caffeine from his strong coffee wasn't hitting the mark as it usually did for him. Yawns were coming out of him so thick and fast, even Traynor thought to make a comment on it when she directed him to new messages at his terminal. Shepard wished he could blame it on a hangover, that he'd partied hard to celebrate the Krogan victory. He knew Vega was suffering from that fate this morning. However, he'd not had a drop all night.

No, Shepard's demon came in the form of a sleepless night. Yet another nightmare. It wasn't even something frightening, like being chased by some unexplained childhood monster. It wasn't even traumatising, like watching a family member die. No, instead, Shepard just awoke feeling disturbed. In the dream, he was once again wandering through a barren forest, the trees bare and ashen snow falling from the sky. The wind always echoed with different voices, but Shepard could never find anyone in the dream. That is, until he saw the little boy. It was always the boy he saw die when he left Earth. A poor skinny boy with brown hair and blue eyes.

Shepard shook himself back to reality. A shiver raced up his spine like someone walking over his grave. He didn't know why the thought of the child stayed with him. He had failed dozens of lives that day. He'd looked people in the eyes and told them he'd help save them, only to watch them die a few minutes later. Why weren't they the ones he saw in his nightmares? Why did this little boy, no older than nine, if that, torment him?

Pushing such thoughts aside, Shepard dove into his work. He had to make a report to Admiral Hackett as well as the Council. He had to help direct where the new Krogan troops would go, figure out how they would transport them or house them or feed them. EDI was a great help in figuring out the logistics of these things.

He was about to break for lunch, when Traynor announced an urgent message on the vidcomm. Usually that line was reserved for Hackett. But Traynor would've said if it was the admiral. Suspiciously, Shepard made his way into the small room and answered the call. He was a little surprised to see the Salarian Councillor, Councillor Valern, stand before him.

 _"_ _Commander,"_ he greeted with a formal dip of his head. _"There's something we should discuss… that is, if you're finished rewriting history?"_

The comment with a sideways look had Shepard's hackles up in defence. "I made my decision, Councillor. There's not much anyone can do about it now."

 _"_ _Yes, we're going to have billions more Krogan in the galaxy. It's a good thing you saved my life once, Shepard… otherwise…"_

"Apologies for the shortness, Councillor," Shepard said without meaning one word of it. "But is there a point to this call?"

 _"_ _I have concerns about Humanity's representative, Councillor Udina,"_ Valern said shortly. _"My agents have discovered that he's using his authority to move vasts sums of money. For what purpose, we're not sure."_

Valern wouldn't be calling a Spectre if he thought a fellow politician was dodging his taxes or swindling money from taxpayers. It was more than just moving money. The thought of Udina being dirty did have Shepard's interest, but from a stubborn streak he reserved specifically for the Council, he shrugged. "So call C-SEC."

 _"_ _I would. But unfortunately, Udina has recently been making quite a few changes to C-SEC's structure. Several of the commanding officers are now all humans, appointed by him. Much like Commander Bailey…"_

Shepard wouldn't have Bailey's name slandered. The guy had taken a few wrong turns, but he was still a good man and the only one with his head screwed on right on the Citadel. "Alright, Councillor. You have my attention."

Valern nodded. _"Return to the Citadel immediately, Shepard. We will review the evidence in private. Valern out."_


	17. The Hostile Takeover

"Alliance Control, this is SSV Normandy. Are we clear to decend?" Joker was saying as Shepard marched into the cockpit. They'd arrived at the Citadel, but the moment Shepard stepped out of the elevator into the CIC, Traynor told him they were having trouble making contact. "Alliance Control. This is Normandy, we are headed to Bay 1-4, Zakera Ward. Are we clear to decend?"

Nothing came back. Only silence. Joker looked over his chair at Shepard and shrugged. The Commander shared the same confusion. Why would there be no response? A sense of dread began to burn his insides. And Shepard's gut was famously never wrong.

"What the hell's going on down there? Even if there was a station malfunction, they'd have backups online. I got a bad feelin' here. Checking emergency channels." Joker tapped a few keys on his interface. In the pilot's ear-piece, Shepard could make out the muffled voice of an immediate response. "Hey! Yeah, this is Joker… Uh-huh… Yeah… No kidding."

"What is it?" asked Shepard.

"A communication from Thane, Commander. He says it's important. Think you'll wanna hear this."

"Put him through."

 _"_ _Shepard,"_ came the deep, rasping voice of the Drell, _"the Citadel is under attack! Cerberus troops are everywhere, and they're in control of the docks."_

Shepard felt his hands bunch into fists. How in the Hell… "Are you safe?"

 _"_ _No, I had to evade the commandos at the hospital. I'm in a Presidium storefront."_

Cerberus even sent soldiers to ransack a fucking hospital?! Wait a minute… "Did Kaiden make it out?"

 _"_ _He was discharged earlier today."_ Thane's words allowed Shepard to relax a little. He and Kaidan had only just mended their friendship – he didn't want to lose him now. _"I heard reports he was protecting the Council. I'm going to C-SEC headquarters."_

"Why C-SEC Headquarters?"

 _"_ _It's been compromised, and C-SEC response depends on it. As long as Cerberus is holding the Headquarters, they have the station."_

"Alright, Joker." Shepard said, immediately going into action. "Get us away from the docks and as close as you can to C-SEC HQ. We'll deploy in the shuttle. EDI? Alert the whole team. I want everyone on this. Let's go!"

* * *

The shuttle ride was fast, if a little bumpy, and rather crowded. Elaine had to alternate between holding onto the railing above her head, or leaning on Garrus in order to stay upright. Even after all this time in this new world, she still hadn't found her sealegs when it came to more chaotic rides. But Garrus, seeing her predicament, looped his arm around her waist and held her snuggly against him, his other arm holding onto the railing. They didn't need to say anything; in fact, the whole shuttle was unusually quiet. They had all been told what was happening, that Cerberus had laid siege to the Citadel. Shepard had brought them all because he knew this was an emergency. And that sense of importance to their goal made them all focused and quiet.

In the quiet, Elaine had to face her own thoughts crowding round in her head. It was Cerberus, on the station, attempting to topple the main body of government. The mere mention of them, down there, likely killing and pillaging innocent people, made her rage want to boil. Not only that, but these were the scum that had taken the Darkspawn taint into themselves. Out of shere principle, she should kill them on sight, without remorse or mercy. Then came the memories, the twitch in her hands as she remembered all the awful tortures they had inflicted upon her. Despite all her steps to try and move on from that awful experience, it was much harder to do it in practise when the object of her hate was about to come right in front of her.

And then she remembered the dream. Alistair, and how her mind had been cleared of the vile, toxic mindset that had led to her almost losing her sanity. The feel of Garrus' armour beneath her fingers reminded her of how she had just got him back, got _them_ back. If she took a dive off the deep end in her hate today, would she lose it all again?

There was a loud BANG just outside the shuttle, jostling it slightly. As if everyone knew what this meant, the occupants of the shuttle reached for their guns. Shepard hung by the door, ready to leap as soon as it opened.

"Okay, people! Coming in hot! Get to cover!"

The door swung open, and then everyone was rushing out of it. Elaine went with the stampede, dropping onto the metal floor and rolling away behind the nearest cover she could spot – the desolated corpse of a C-SEC skycar. Crouched there, she had a moment to get her bearings. She'd not seen this part of the Citadel before. She was in a courtyard of some sort, or a place where C-SEC skycars were parked in front of a building with huge letters emblazoned above the door: CITADEL SECURITY HEADQUARTERS. All around the courtyard, Elaine spotted Cerberus troops, of all different variaties, fighting against wounded C-SEC officers and Shepard's crew.

Not far from her position, EDI popped out of cover and shot off several rounds from her rapid-fire hand-held gun. On her other side, Vega was getting ready to launch a grenade. Taking that as her perfect opportunity, Elaine leapt over the burning skycar and ran for the nearest enemy as her companions offered coverfire. The closer she got, the more she could hear the faint hum of the taint coming from the Cerberus soldiers. Not enough to register from afar, for it was the slight taint of ghouls she could hear, not true Darkspawn.

The first Cerberus troop didn't see her coming until he popped out of cover, and she was already upon him, slicing his head right off his shoulders. Her shield came up to guard her head as she ran to a stack of crates to hide behind. She spied a group of Cerberus right by the doors. Across the battlefield, she caught Garrus' eye. He sent a concussive shot into the group, knocking them down. Elaine sprinted for them, quickly dispatching them with quick stabs to their throats and guts.

With all the combined efforts of Shepard and his companions, it didn't take long for them to cut down all the Cerberus scum littering the courtyard. When the last body fell, the group met together, taking stock of any injuries (of which there were only scrapes) and to catch their breath. That was when Javik seemed to sense something and pointed to a body that was still moving beside the door to the Headquarters. The group approached, Shepard in front, and found it was a human man from C-SEC, his short cut hair spattered with blood, a bullet hole in his shoulder.

"Bailey!" Shepard seemed surprised, clearly recognising the man. He knelt down and offered the man medigel. "How bad are you hurt?"

"I'm alright. Looks worse than it is." Grunted the man. "About time some cavalry got here."

"What're you doing here?"

"Gettin' my ass shot off tryin' to retake headquarters. Cerberus took it in the first push." With a grunt and a hiss, Bailey attempted to stand. Eventually, he succeeded, if shakily. "We gotta kick them outta here. C-SEC's flying blind without the network."

"How bad's the situation?" asked Garrus. "Do you know if the Councillors are alive?"

EDI stepped forward. "If Cerberus are attacking the station, the Council is likely their main goal."

"They split up," explained Bailey. "I'll know more if I can access the terminal inside."

With the others guarding him, Bailey managed to open the lock on the Headquarters' door. As the large doors swept aside, Shepard, James and Javik rushed in to sweep for enemies. Liara, Garrus and Elaine came next, and EDI and Bailey took up the rear. A huge reception desk was immediately in front of them, but it appeared as if the room was deserted.

Bailey hobbled over to the desk and sat at the terminal with a grateful sigh. "Here we go. C-SEC network access, courtesy of Cerberus."

"How will that help us?" asked Elaine tightly, a little impatient to get moving.

"Cerberus has control of the main channels, but I can set up a new one. Without it, our people have no plan and no chance." Bailey tapped a few keys, and then something popped up on his screen with a soft chime. "Hello…"

Shepard glanced back at the man. "What did you find?"

"A warning from Councillor Valern. He was supposed to be meeting with the executor." Leaning forward as if he were slightly near-sighted, Bailey read out robotically: " _Be on guard, the likelihood of betrayal from within is high…_ Not much else. But if he's inside…"

"Why would the councillor meet with the executor?"

"Usually, it means someone high up's about to be prosecuted." Said Bailey. "Looks like that certain someone had Cerberus friends."

"The Councillor mentioned Udina…" Garrus suggested, but quickly shook his head. "But that's insane. Does he even have this kind of pull?"

Shepard frowned. "Valern was suspicious of even C-SEC on his message to me. Why go to the executor anyway?"

"Maybe he believed the risk was worth it for the sake of finding a traitor." said Javik.

"I know from the reports of C-SEC guards in the embassies that the Councillors haven't been seeing eye to eye lately." murmured Bailey in thought. Some of the others looked a little surprised. "Yeah, Udina's been pullin' his hair out tryin' to get the others to help give over support for Earth."

Vega snorted disbelievingly. "What, so he then goes _loco_ and brings in Cerberus?"

"Those blank bank accounts I checked up, Udina could've been moving all that money for them." Liara piped up. "But even if he did, where was the Citadel fleet?"

Bailey sighed. "That's the kicker. This morning, an order had gone out to mobolise them, hence why there was no counter-attack when Cerberus ships rolled in. Now, they're stuck. They can't open fire on this station, and without further orders, they're blind, deaf and confused."

"Wait…" Elaine said loudly. A memory had popped into her head, one that she had known at the time would come back to haunt her. "I remember Udina telling me that he wanted the Citadel fleets to help liberate Earth, but it takes all of the Council to command the fleet. He even said he didn't have the amount of manpower needed to force their hand."

"Looks like he got it."

"Okay, people! We're gonna need a plan of attack to take back this station." Shepard ordered loudly, his professional mask slipping into place. "Liara, EDI – I need you two to get Cerberus out of the main channels. Go to the comm. towers. Get communication back on our side. Traynor can help from the Normandy."

Liara nodded. "Understood."

"Javik go with them. They'll need all the fire power they can get. Cortez? Take them where they need to go. Garrus, Elaine, James – you three are with me."

 _"_ _Aye-aye, Commander."_ Said Cortez in all their ear-pieces. _"Codename team Hammerhead won't let you down."_

"Hammerhead's got nothing on the Mako, _esteban_!" Vega grinned. "Team Mako's totally gonna beat you to it."

"Focus!" snapped Shepard before turning his attention back to EDI, Liara and Javik. "Once you're done, come back for Bailey and help C-SEC regain control of the Presidium."

They nodded, and then the three of them were running back towards the courtyard as the Cortez swooped back in with the shuttle. Elaine, Garrus and Vega nodded to Shepard, ready to go with him.

"Alright. Where do we find the Councillor?"

"He could be in the Executor's office," offered Garrus. "It's a fairly defensible position."

Elaine frowned. "The Councillor is in there surrounded by Cerberus? Where are his bodyguards? Isn't there better pretection we can rely on?"

"Well," Bailey hurumphed, slightly affronted, "until an hour ago, this place was as safe as it gets. Nobody expected anything on this scale."

"We got no time for this. Move out." Said Shepard, and then he was marching down the hall. The others quickly followed, easily stepping into their usual diamond formation. Shepard brought up a hand to his ear-piece. "Thane? Did you hear all that?"

 _"_ _Yes."_ Came the Drell's voice, his breathing a little laboured. _"I'm nearing the building but running is difficult. I'll try to get to you."_

Elaine felt her stomach constrict with worry. "Thane, you don't need to strain yourself."

 _"_ _I can make it, Siha. The chance to fight beside you and Shepard again is worth the risk of a cough."_

They made it through to the offices of HQ. A few Cerberus troops had been posted there as guards. They were easily dispatched. As they passed by a load of desks, they began to notice bodies lying across the floor, streaks of blood staining the tiles. Some looked like they'd gone down fighting, but others still had expressions of shock on their faces. Garrus paused at one human officer, his eyes studying the corpse.

"Entry wounds in the back of the head…" he murmured in a disarmingly quiet voice. "Looks like it was a surprise, not an execution. We've got hardcore traitors here."

Elaine looked around at all the bodies strewn over desks or spread across the floor. It made her grit her teeth in anger to think all these people could have been murdered by someone they knew and trusted. "Spies? How many of them could Cerberus have planted to pull this off?"

"Too many." Grumbled James.

They managed to find a set of stairs and started to climb. Garrus directed them up so that they would come out onto the correct floor. When they came to the doors, they found three more Cerberus sentries. Elaine crept up and thrust Starfang through the first guard's back, severing his spine and puncturing through his chest. The second guard spun on her, and she struck him across the head with her shield. As he went down, Vega shot him in the chest. The final guard was taken out with one shot each from Garrus and Shepard.

Around a corner, a long hall stretched before them with small side rooms on either side. A pipe must've burst somewhere, because the floor was flooded. Garrus stepped forward, and called out: "Ridgefield? Lamont? You alive?"

"Hey! You mind not alerting the whole station?" hissed Vega.

Garrus glared down at the human. "If gunfire doesn't put them on notice, I sure won't."

When they moved ahead, Elaine fell back in formation until she was beside Garrus. She'd heard the worry in his voice, had seen how this was affecting him as he saw his former colleagues dead. "Garrus, are you alright?"

"These were my friends. They didn't deserve to die like this!" he growled lowly in his throat. Attempting to pull in his anger, he took a breath. And then he glanced down at her. "How about you? You holding up?"

No, she really wasn't. It was all she could do to keep her composure, to not let herself fly off into a murderous rage on every Cerberus bastard they came across. The last time she'd lost it, a child had died. But of course, she couldn't say any of those things. "I'm ready to hand you the knife when you want to gut them."

They carried on. Team Hammerhead reported in that they'd made it to the comm. towers, but Cerberus were putting up a hell of a resistance. Shepard ordered them to keep at it. As he and the others carried on, they came to a waiting area of some sort. Chairs were strewn all over the floor, glass and screens from displays had been smashed, bullet holes in the walls were still smoking.

"Looks like the fight's already over." Said Vega.

Garrus pointed to the other end of the waiting room. "There's a short stairwell further on. Executor's office is right above it."

They ran for it, taking the steps two at a time. As they passed the chairs, Elaine thought she saw a flicker of light, but when she looked there was nothing there. Shrugging it off as paranoia, she carried on with the others. They came to door to the executor's office. Shepard and Garrus pressed their backs to the wall on either side of the door and nodded to Vega. The muscled human slammed his fist against the green button and jumped back beside Elaine as it opened. Shepard and Garrus sprang inside first, sweeping their guns left to right, looking for targets. Elaine and Vega rushed in after them.

But the office was empty. There were signs of a struggle, with bookcases and tables overturned and the glass overlooking the waiting area below cracked from shots fired. The executor's desk was covered in blue blood, as a Turian was laid across it. Beside him, two armoured Salarians lay in heaps on the floor, and across the room were three Cerberus corpses.

Shepard spoke into his omnitool. "Bailey. Looks like they got the Executor and two Salarian bodyguards."

 _"_ _Damn."_ They heard him curse. _"Alright, keep searching. If you don't see the Councillor's body, don't count him out yet."_

Elaine wandered to the body of the Executor and noted absentmindedly that there was a lot of blood if he was killed by bullets. Curious, she gently turned the Turian over, and saw that his throat was slit. Now invested, Elaine leaned in close to examine the wound. The slice was narrow, far slimmer than the line Starfang would've made if she'd delivered the same blow. The bade that made this cut must've been almost as slim as a scalpel. A shadow passed over her as Garrus went to the cracked window, Shepard and Vega followed his gaze. Curious to know what they saw, Elaine abandoned the body and moved to stand beside them.

In the waiting room they had just come through, a chair moved of its own accord. There was a flicker of light, a pattern that Elaine recognised – it was just like Kasumi's! Then, from thin air, came a shower of sparks and a Salarian, dressed in robes from head to foot, appeared. He looked about nervously, before his eyes found Shepard and he visibly relaxed.

Shepard reported in to Bailey. "Found him. He looks unharmed."

 _"_ _Get him somewhere safe."_

Elaine immediately went to follow the others to go back down the stairs, when a shadow passed by the window in a blur. A figure clad in black armour dropped down from the rafters into the waiting area below. It stooped in front of the Councillor, blocking him from going to the stairs. Shepard saw the figure a second before Elaine could sound the alarm. Shielding his eyes, he fired a shot at the glass, shattering it, and leapt over the edge. Garrus and Vega followed immediately after. Elaine hesitated only a split second as her stomach lurched, and then jumped as well. She landed heavily and turned it into a roll in order to better absorb the impact.

As she stood, the figure recognised the threat at his back and leapt up and flipped over Councillor Valern to land on his other side. He wasn't a tall man, but his body was lean, and his armour was close-fitted to show off his musculature. Black hair was cropped short, with the top half pulled back into a short ponytail. Strange spectacles covered his eyes, and in his hand he held a razor-thin sword.

Recogniton hit Elaine so hard her heart began to crash against her ribs. Memories of the tiny cell took over her mind. The fights, the merciless torture, the demeaning treatment. Her body shuddered in revultion as it even remembered the last moments she'd had with this man, of his sickening kiss on her cheek. Rage, fear and disgust battled inside her, each struggling to be the dominant emotion. She wanted to vomit, to scream, to hide, to kill.

And then his head tilted in her direction, and a sickening smug smile spread across his face.

"Ah, there you are, Flower." He cooed. "You upset me when you left home so abruptly. How unconsiderate."

Beside her, Garrus tensed, already figuring out who stood before them just from the use of that hated nickname. But Shepard was in the dark as he asked, "Elaine, who is this?"

It was difficult to speak through the tightness of her throat. Her blood had run cold. Yet despite herself, she found herself whispering a name. "Kei Leng."


	18. The Coup

**Author's Note: Hello readers. First of all, I'm so sorry I've gone for so long! I honestly didn't mean to suddenly disappear, but work, real life stress and my dog's health really sapped my energy and attention. Hopefully, I'll be back on track for the time being.**

 **In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please don't forget to review - I need all your comments in order to survive!**

* * *

Elaine stood frozen to the spot. Unable to take her eyes off the lithe figure in front of her. The sound of the blood pounding in her ears was almost deafening. Here he stood, her tormentor, her jailor, his lips twisted into that slight smirk she had come to loath so much! The world was spinning, and she tried to keep her composure. Her mind was tearing itself apart with conflicting urges. One voice whispered to scream and run, another demanded she tear him apart, another warned of a second Cerberus trap.

Shepard was talking, Elaine could see his lips moving at the edge of her vision, but all other sounds were drowned beneath the roar of blood in her veins. Her hands were shaking. Why was it so hard to breathe?

Images flashed before her eyes. Her cell, cold and in the dark. The shooting pain of tasers and beatngs whenever she defied them. The droning voices of the woman on the screen, telling her how violated she was, how humanity needed her, not aliens. The cutting room – splattered with her blood. The doctors standing over her and prodding her with their needles and knives!

And then Kai Leng turned and looked at her. The Warden rushed back to the present so hard, she nearly lost her balance. Sound and sensation came back to her in time for her to hear him say: "Ready to come home, Flower?"

Fear turned her stomach to ice. No! she couldn't go back there! She'd hack everyone here to pieces, she'd slit her own throat, before she EVER went back to that hell!

A shadow obstructed her vision as Garrus stepped in front of her. The growl in his chest was audible for everyone. "You're not laying a finger on her!"

He levelled his sniper rifle. Leng responded by raising his free hand, electricity sparking between his gloved fingers to point at Valern. Vega quickly batted Garrus' gun aside. _"No seas estúpido!"_ he hissed. "Not while he's got the Councillor hostage!"

Leng smirked. "This the company you keep, Flower? Alliance's second rates? Wouldn't you rather come with me? I'm at least not boring."

"No," she snarled, a burning emotion boiling away at her insides. "You're a monster! I'm going to eviscerate you for what you did to me!"

"Let's see about that." His fingers twitched and the electricity burned brighter.

"Don't even think about it." Warned Shepard.

Valern, quaking with fear, frantically began to whisper: "Shepard, he's going to kill us all!"

"That remains to be seen."

"No, I mean Udina! He's staging a coup. He's got the other Councillors now – to hand over to Cerberus!"

Elaine found she didn't care about the Councillor's words "Garrus. Shepard. Get out of my way!"

"Are you impressed with the enhancements you gifted our soldiers with?" Leng asked her. "Cerberus really does thank you for your help."

She burst forward with a scream of rage. Shoving aside Garrus, ramming Shepard and the Councillor out of her path, Elaine charged straight for Leng. Their blades met in a clash of steel on starmetal. Leng was fast, agile, doding and ducking and weaving around her with incredible speed. But Elaine had years of experience fighting in so many different styles. He flipped, and crouched to come at her from a low point, Elaine repayed the kindness by giving him a round-house kick to the shoulder. He didn't expect her to be light on her feet. Though he stumbled, Elaine couldn't get the advantage for he kicked out one of her legs, unbalancing her long enough for him to reclaim his footing. And then they were at each other's throats again.

All throughout her captivity, Leng had demanded she fight him. She could tell he thought he was assured victory because of that practice. But now, Elaine was armed, armoured, and no longer exhausted or hungry. The speed with which the pair of them moved defied belief, their spinning and whirling footwork enough to give even Shepard and the others trouble. In the back of her mind, Elaine noticed how they were all shouting at her, trying to get in on the fight to either get her to safety or shoot Kai Leng. NO! She wouldn't allow it. He was hers to kill! No one elses, and he was witnessing exactly what she was capable of. Each opening he tried to take advantage of, her shield was up and ready to counter. Yet when she attempted to strike back, he would always be gone. Her anger blinded her to everything else around her, the thirst for vengeance made her only focused on seeing his blood decorate the floor.

Shield lashing out to batter him in a surprise attack, she didn't see his hand appear out of nowhere to snatch up her wrist and drag her towards him. Jerked off her balance, she stumbled. He spun her like they were dances and pined her back against his chest. Elaine only had enough sense to bring up her sword to block his before he could slit it across her throat.

"Elaine!" she heard Garrus roar.

Hot breath wafted against her ear. Leng's voice came soft and sensual. "You know I like it when you play dirty, Flower."

Elaine had to fight the urge to vomit. She hissed and tried to wriggle free. Leng pushed his sword on hers. With her other arm pinned, she strained to keep him at bay.

 _Click_. Came the sound of a gun unclipping. Leng froze. Turning her head with him, they spotted a gun pressed to the back of Leng's skull. Holding the gun, was none other than Thane Krios.

With a grunt, Leng released Elaine and kicked her in the small of the back. She fell to the ground with a cry of pain, Starfang clattering to the floor. Leng spun and batted Thane's gun aside in the same move, sheathing his sword. The two traded fists, far too fast for the eye to see. One of Leng's punches caught Thane in the chin, but the Drell didn't even stagger. Thane returned the blow with a swift kick to the ribs and then the face. As Leng recoiled, Thane's fist glowed blue and his magic flung the Cerberus assassin across the room.

"Elaine!" she heard Garrus as he crouched beside her, his hands trying to get her up. "You okay?"

As soon as she found she could breathe again, time seemed to speed up for her once again. Emotions flooded her body – so many, she could barely recognise them all. How dare he touch her?! How dare she let him get the upper hand?! He thought to humiliate her? He thought to demonstrate to her how she was "lesser" than him? No! She refused to allow that piece of filth to best her!

She pushed Garrus off her and with a roar snatched up Starfang and charged into the fight. She only had eyes for Kai Leng. There was an opening on his exposed side, he was distracted by his other opponent. With all her might, she spun and thrust Starfang at her adversary…

Leng saw her coming…

He grabbed hold of Thane…

The two spun…

And Starfang sank to the hilt into Thane's stomach.

Elaine froze, eyes popping impossibly wide as the world came back into focus with a resounding crash. She stared at her hands, wrapped around the sword hilt, her fingers brushing the coarse leather of Thane's coat. She watched the stain bloom out of his skin and onto her blade. From the corner of his mouth, a tiny droplet of blood trickled down the sad curve of his lips. Slowly, he slid free from her and slumped to the ground.

"NO!" Elaine screamed. She dropped Starfang as if it were made of Darkspawn poison. Mortified, she fell to her knees and cradled Thane's head into her lap. "No–no–no–no–no! Please, Maker, no! I didn't mean it! Thane? Thane!"

With one hand, she tried to put pressure on the wound, to staunch the flow of blood, whilst with the other, she activated her omnitool and frantically attempted to search for medigel. She'd seen the others deploy it, why couldn't she?!

"I can fix it!" she pleaded. There was something blurring her vision. Something wet streamed down her face. There were other sounds around her, other voices. She paid them no attention. Damn it! Why couldn't she find the blasted medigel?! Something came into her vision, and she looked up. Shepard crouched in fron of her. "I didn't mean it – _I didn't mean it!_ "

"That assassin – Kai Leng? He's gone." Was all he said.

Elaine couldn't comprehend anything but the loop of thoughts going around in her head. "I didn't mean to! It wasn't supposed to– I can't let him–"

A hand settled over hers, stilling her. She looked down at Thane through the blur in her vision. His voice was already wet, raspy, faint. "I have time… Catch him…"

It was as if the words brought her some sense of direction. Her panic ebbed slightly in order to allow her to prioritise. Yes, this was her fault. But the Councillors would all die if she didn't stop Leng. It shamed her to leave him like that, but she had no choice. With a mute nod, she gently laid him down and stiffly got to her feet.

"I'll be back for you!"

Thane smiled. "I know you will, _Siha_ … I know you… will…"

* * *

Elaine could barely keep her mind together as she and the others chased Kai Leng through the streets of the Presidium. They tried to follow by car, but the bastard sabotaged it. Then they had to chase him through stores and residential areas. Civilians hardly had the time to scream and run for cover before Cerberus troops were firing at them. All the while the Warden's consciousness was tearing itself apart. Rage and murderous intent for Leng warred with the guilt and despair. Ghosts flittered before her eyes. Thane, the child on Benning. She could argue that it was because of Leng that Thane was injured, but she had been the one to attack without thinking, she was the one holding the sword.

A bullet almost grazed her ear, had it not been for Vega pulling her into cover. The close call was enough to shake her back into the task at hand. She could agonise over her own crisis later; at this moment, people were in danger and she had to focus to save them. Vengeance and repentance would come if and when she got to Leng. And by the Maker, she swore she would get him for this!

At last they believed they had him when they cornered him in an elevator shaft. The team had to attempt to keep Leng and his Cerberus lackies away from the elevator the Council were on. Elaine tried to be helpful in that situation, but this type of combat required long-range. Her aim with a gun was better than when she had started, but in this environment where it was lightning fast reactions without accidentally shooting your own team, there was little she could do. In other ways, the Warden made herself useful. She'd noted on the way here that Leng did not possess the Taint. However, the soldiers with him did. Elaine only had to point out which direction she felt the echo of the Blight, and Shepard and the others would be ready for them.

One well placed bullet from Garrus, and Leng's elevator went shooting back downwards. Elaine hoped he met a grizzly death, but knew that fate was not kind enough to grant her that wish. Now finally infront of Cerberus to get to the Council, Shepard led the way through a hatch into the elevator. They came out behind the Counil onto a landing pad. Shepard's former friend – Kaidan, Elaine seemed to recognise from so long ago – was frantically attempting to protect the Council, hurrying them towards their getaway. However, the shuttle that had been awaiting them, was nothing but charred and smoked ruins.

"Cerberus took out the shuttle," said Kaidan, attempting to rally the Council with him. "Everyone back to the elevator! Move!"

They turned and froze to find Shepard, Elaine, Garrus and James in their way. Vega pressed his omnitool to the elevator button, jamming it closed. Elaine and Garrus had their weapons ready, bodies tense. Garrus spired all around at the surrounding buildings and balconies, attempting to see if his visor could pick up anything. Elaine was listening to her blood intently, trying to see if she could pick up any early warnings. Shepard glared across the way at Udina, who had placed himself at the back of the Council.

"Shepard?" Kaidan asked. "What's going on?"

The Commander said nothing, only attempted to storm his way directly to Udina. The human Councillor hastily spat out, "Shepard's blocking our escape! He's with Cerberus!"

Udina's fear and words made the Council back away from their Spectre, uncertain. Kaidan jumped in between the two groups, gun pointed at Shepard's chest. "Just, hang on! I got this – everyone, calm down."

It seemed that calm was the furthest thing from anyone's mind. Shepard's squad were tense at the threat to their commander, ready to fire should Kaidan not back down. The Council too seemed ready to hurl what little trust remained to the wind if any wrong move was made.

Shepard's voice was filled with gravel. His hand on his pistol tightened. "You're not the one I want, Kaidan. It's the man behind you."

"What are you talking about?" Kaidan demanded. "Put the gun away!"

"Undina's behind this attack. The Salarian Councillor confirmed it."

Said human snorted derisively. "Oh really? Because we received an SOS from Valern confirming you were with Cerberus!"

"That's Bullshit!" exclaimed Vega. "We were just with the Salarian Councilor. Saved him from this freaky ninja."

He ulled up his omnitool and began hitting a few commands. "A likely story… _"Shepard! He's going to kill us all!"_

Elaine growled. Those words were taken out of context!

Kaidan looked at his former comrade, suspicion creeping into his hardening eyes. "Shepard…"

The Warden might've approached the growing hostility with calm and reason back in her days of command during the Blight. Instead, Shepard's temper grew shorter. "Would I do this if I weren't dead certain, Kaidan? Would I?"

"Shepard admitted to working for Cerberus," said Udina. "For all we know he's still with them!"

Realising this would take longer than expected, Shepard looked to her. "Elaine?"

She shook her head. They had time, even if only a little. "I can feel soldiers close by… but Leng doesn't have the Taint. I don't know where he is!"

"There are Cerberus soldiers in the elevator shaft behind us." Said Shepard. "If you open that door, they will kill you all!"

Udina pointed a wrinkled finger at Elaine. "And Miss Cousland spent six months with Cerberus! She could be a sleeper agent."

"How dare you!" she rounded on him like a wolf, teeth bared. "Those bastards tortured me!"

"Shepard, control your squad!" barked Kaidan.

"Major Alenko," said Udina, "I _made_ you a Spectre – so that you could stand up to threats like Shepard! It is your duty to protect this Council!"

"Understood, sir."

The other two Councilors had watched the drama unfolding, torn between which side to trust. Finally, the Asari Councilor stepped in. "Wait. We have mistrusted Shepard before – and it did not help us!"

"Is Valern still alive?" The Turian Councilor asked.

Garrus stepped forward. "Yes, sir. Councilor Valern called us here because he had evidence Udina was dirty! _That's_ why this attack is happening now."

The asari councillor turned to her comrade. "Udina… is this true?"

Udina looked between the other two he had thought would be his shields, to Kaidan who he thought would protect him. Sweat began to bead on his forehead. "We don't have time to debate this! We're dead if we stay out here. I'm overriding the lock."

He walked to a console at the railing, but the asari councillor followed. "Udina! Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!"

She grabbed his arm and he shook her off. "I do not have to answer to you!"

"No." said Elaine. "But you _will_ answer to us."

It was only then that he noticed her converging on him, that even Kaidan was beginning to look at him with suspicion. The Warden was between him and the Turian Councillor, between him and all the others and closing on him. Behind her, Shepard was also stepping forward. They were all closing in and Udina had only a burning shuttle and empty air behind him. Panicked, he snatched hold of the asari councillor and spun her. Wrist pressed on her throat to pin her against him, he pulled out a pistol and shoved the barrel against her head.

Shepard growled. "Don't be stupid."

"Get back!" snarled Udina. "Alenko! Open these doors or I pull the trigger."

Elaine dared to take a single step closer, her sword never moving from pointing to his throat. "Where do you think you can run to, Udina? Back to Cerberus?"

"I don't work for them! They just cut me a deal…"

"And now you're starting to realise they abandoned you." Said Vega. "They'd be here to save your ass otherwise."

"Why do it, Udina?" asked Elaine. She took another step forward. "For power? Did you honestly think power would matter in this war?"

"I did it for humanity!" he cried. "How could you understand– how could _any_ of you understand?! I have dedicated my life to humanity. I have always fought for our seat at the table. And now, at our greatest hour? It means nothing!"

"You were on the Council!" she snapped back. "Wasn't that enough? What could justify all this?"

"These aliens have only given me scraps!" true hate burned in his eyes as he brandished the pistol from the Asari to the Turian Councillors. "After all humanity – after all _I_ have done – they turn their backs on us! Earth is in flames, and they want to waste time building alliances for themselves. I went to Cerberus because they were the only ones willing to do anything. I had to get them the money as a down payment first. They wanted the Citadel, I promised it to them. In exchange I would have the Citadel Fleet to help retake Earth."

"You're a desperate fool, Udina. Cerberus would've never kept their promise. You would've been dead before the day was out." She stepped closer.

"Stay back!" Udina pointed the pistol at Elaine, fear and doubt conflicting in his eyes. "I've got my eyes on you, witch! Stay back."

Her smile was cold. "Good. Then you're not watching Shepard."

He looked too late. Shepard had moved into position and pulled the trigger. The shot came so close to the Asari's head, she felt the sting of the wind as it passed her. The bullet penetrated between Udina's eyes. He crumbled to the floor, his hands slipping from the Asari Councillor, who cried out and ran to her Turian comrade. Udina lay in a heap on the floor, blood pooling on the ground. Elaine spat on his corpse, turned on her heel and sheathed her sword.

Kaidan stared at the body, blood draining from his face. Shepard strode passed him, shoving his shoulder asaide as he did so. "Get the Counil back and cover that door!"

Kaidan nodded mutely.

* * *

In the shuttle headed as far from the Serpent Nebula as he could get, Kai Leng sat stewing over the days events. It had all been going so well. He'd almost taken the seat of galactic power from the aliens' greedy claws. He'd almost had everything done for the Illusive Man. And yet it had all slipped from his grasp so quickly. Though one thing he hadn't been prepared for – seeing Miss Cousland again. It had been a pleasant surprise to be sure, and she had been a worthy challenge. Yet she needed to be reminded of her place. He looked forward to seeing to that.

But for now, he needed to see to some unpleasant business. Pressing a few buttons, the shuttle summoned the image of the Illusive Man. The head of Cerberus didn't even deem it fit to glance down at the call, just puffed on his cigarette and awaited his report.

"Things didn't go as planned." Leng admitted tightly. "The Council's still in control of the Citadel, and Udina's dead."

 _"_ _Udina was expendable."_

"Now what?"

 _"_ _There are other plans in motion. I'll fill you in when you return."_ A pause, and then those cybernetic blue eyes finally glanced down at him. " _I'm surprised you let Shepard get the better of you, Leng. And Miss Cousland. Wasn't she supposed to be_ _ **your**_ _pet?"_

His fingers curled into a fist. "It won't happen again."

 _"_ _Hmm, we'll see."_ He hummed thoughtfully. _"In the meantime, prepare yourself. Something_ _ **big**_ _has just come up. Something Dr Lawson could find useful…"_


	19. The Grim Reaper

**A/N: song choice for this chapter is Ruelle ft. Fleurie "Carry You"**

 **Please remember to leave a review!**

* * *

With the Council saved and the Presidium seured, C-Sec swarmed all over the Citadel to uproot any Cerberus soldiers still lurking on the station. But it appeared that the enemy had vanished. It took twenty-four hours before the Citadel was officially deemed secure once again. Those that remained had to mourn the casualties suffered. Considering that Cerberus hadn't invaded the wards, only the Presidium, those numbers were much lower than they could have been. But still, to some, one casualty was still too high. Homes were broken, cars still burned, glass lay shattered on the floor, but despite it all, the Citadel returned to a sense of normalcy in record time. The only difference was the now visible tension in every man, woman and child. With this attack, they had just been given indisputable proof that the war was real.

Elaine ignored them all. The moment the Council had been taken to a safe location, she had abandoned Shepard and the others to run to the hospital. She'd stayed in the waiting room all through the night and into the next day. She pushed herself into the smallest corner to be out of the way whilst more and more patients were brought in. Casualties might've been low, but injuries were not. The hospital was an insect hive swarming with activity as everyone attempted to get on top of the crisis. After a few hours, the number of those coming in began to slow down, even if the waiting time to be seen by a doctor was still rising.

As the hours ticked by, the Warden paced up and down the waiting room. She did not sleep, she did not eat. If she was offered it, she refused on the grounds that she felt like vomiting at the mere notion. At the strike of every hour, and then every half hour, she would turn towards the doors leading into the doctor's rooms, hoping that someone would come out with news. Every three hours without fail, she went to the desk to ask the woman behind it if she had anything to report. Everyone by now knew she was waiting for Thane, but no one would tell her how things were progressing. The knot in Elaine's stomach was constricting tighter and tighter. Her nerves were shot, and she felt as if a pasing breeze would snap her shaking frame in half.

At noon the day after the coup, Elaine finally felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to find a doctor dressed in red and white. His face was worn, exhausted. There was a look in his eyes that made her want the ground to swallow her whole.

"A-Are you the doctor?" Elaine asked in a quiet voice. Before he could even speak, her hands – still dressed in her bloodied armour – grabbed hold of his uniform. "Please! Is Thane alright?!"

He looked at her tiredly, confused. "We have a Drell – but not under that name…"

"Stab wound to the stomach. He's a regular patient here. Suffers from Kep–"

"It's alright. I see." He nodded as if his tired brain was finally catching up. He gently urged her fingers to release him, his voice ever gentle and soft. "The doctors were able to repair a lot of the trauma. However… Thane, is it? He's in the final stages of Kepral's Syndrome. At it's worst, the disease hampers his blood's ability to carry oxygen… and he lost a lot."

The flash of red on blue star-metal across her vision made Elaine want to be sick. She could still feel the crunch of bone vibrate up her sword and into her hands when Starfang knicked the edge of one of Thane's ribs. She had done this to him. She had spilt his blood, the one thing he needed the most. And she had taken that from him.

"Now, they've given him transfusions." The doctor was saying. "But frankly, there was a very limited supply–"

The small thread of hope dangling before her was too much to resist. "Then tell me where to find it! I'll bring as much as you need!"

"That's not going to work." Said the doctor. "We did everything we could. But his body can't replace lost blood with new cells. Too much shock. His son, Kolyat, is in there to say his goodbyes. You might wanna say yours."

The doctor showed her where the room was, but Elaine was no longer able to hear him above the pounding in her ears. Her legs barely had the strength to keep her standing, the shake that had started in her hands had travelled all the way through her frame. How many times had she prayed to the Maker for help in the last eighteen hours?

The doors opened and she was standing in _the_ room without even knowing how she got there. She could see a bed, but her eyes refused to let her see it. There was a drell in her way, and for one beat of her heart, Elaine believed Thane was standing before her, miraculously healed and better than before. But then her brain caught up with her desperate wish, and she realised she was mistaken. This one's scales were the wrong colour, a deep blue and not emerald green. But his likeness to his father was still unmistable.

"Miss Cousland? We haven't met before," said the stranger, bowing his head to her in gretting. "I am Kolyat. My father has spoken of you often."

A lump made it hard for her to swallow, her voice was barely audible. "And he spoke of you…"

"I came here to donate blood, but…" Kolyat trailed off as his voice broke a little. His face twitched into sadness before he could master it into a state of calm acceptance. "He asked me to take off his oxygen mask so he could be more comfortable."

"How can you even bare to look at me?" the words were out of her mouth on an ugly explosion of half sob and half ragged gasp. She stood like a child awaiting a beating from a furious parent, chin tucked against her chest, arms pinned to her sides, chest curling to make herself as small as possible. But she couldn't stand straight or tall, the weight of her crime too heavy to lift. "Scream at me! Do something! After what I–"

"My father told me what happened," Kolyat's soothing voice snatched away her own. She felt his gentle hands on her shoulders and almost crumpled into a thousand pieces. "And he told me it wasn't your fault." With the smallest amount of pressure, he guided her in the direction of the bed. "I don't think it will be very long… but he's been waiting for you."

She desperately didn't want to, but she had no choice but to look up. Thane lay in a bed of white sheets. Stripped of his coat and only in a hospital gown, his once lean and powerful looking body suddenly appeared frail and weak. Wires were sticking out of his arms, machines bleeped in the background. If it were not for the subtle rise and fall of his chest, Elaine would've believed she were gazing upon his corpse already. But then, his head rolled to the side, and he looked up at her and smiled.

" _Siha…_ "

"Thane!" Elaine burst across the room and flung herself at his bedside. She did not sit in the chair, she merely knelt by the bed, her hands clasping around his tightly. With a cry, she pressed her face into the back of his hand, as if she were bearing herself before a holyman. "Oh, please. Maker forgive me! I'm so sorry!"

"Hush, _Siha_. There is no blame on your shoulders." His thumb gently rubbed back and forth across her knuckles. Elaine felt it catch the tears the spilled over her lashes. He gave a little cough. "That assassin should be embarrassed… a terminally ill Drell stopped him from reaching his target."

"You showed him," she muttered.

" _Siha_ , there is something I must do before it gets worse–"

He was cut off as a bout of violent wet coughing erupted through him. Elaine jumped back away from him as if her mere presence was causing his affliction. But when he recovered enough, mouth wide to take in deep and rattling breaths, he reached for her. She took hold of his hand between hers again, red eyes so filled with tears she could barely make out anything apart from the green of his scales and the black of his eyes.

"Please – tell me what to do!" she whimpered. "Tell me what I can do to make this better. Anything!"

"You can let go."

His hoarse whisper caught her by surprise. "What?"

"Listen to me, _Siha_." He said. "I have lived a long life – a life not well lived. I have killed for my profesion and then I have killed for vengeance. Both consumed me. Do not let that darkness swallow you as well. Let go, _Siha_. It is my time. Not all death is bad."

She was stunned. Her fingers were as cold and stiff as stone, barely able to feel when Thane gave them a small squeeze. He granted her one last smile and then turned away to look to the ceiling. A small part of Elaine was glad he did as the tears began to stream down her face.

"Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths… I ask forgiveness," Thane whispered to the room, to the world, to the void. "Kalahira, whose waves wear down stone and sand…"

Coughs and splutters took hold of him again. Each one was like a stab to Elaine's soul. Even through the inability to breathe, he attempted to speak, but could not get the words out.

"Kalahira," said Kolyat from the other side of the bed in a solemn voice. "Wash the sins from this one and set him on the distant shore of the infinite spirit."

"Kolyat…" Thane looked to his son and smiled so widely and proudly. "You speak as the priests do… you've been spending time with them."

The son nodded, and in the twith of his face, Elaine could see his composure was breaking also. In an attempt to keep a hold of it, he turned from his father and came around the bed to kneel bside Elaine. She stared at him, eyes red and puffy, cheeks drowned in the salt of her tears. He brought out a small, familiar, leather-bound book.

"I brought a prayer book." He said, opening to a page already picked out. "Miss Cousland? Would you care to join me?" she nodded, but her tongue didn't seem to want to work.

"Kalahira," Kolyat began for her, pointing to the passage he was reading from so that she could follow. "This one's heart is pure, but beset by wickedness and contention."

Elaine wet her lips, trying to force her voice to remain intact and not waver as she read. "Guide this one to where the traveller never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve… Guide this one, Kalahira, and she will be a companion to you as she was to me…"

The grip on her hand went limp.

Elaine's eyes darted upwards to find Thane's head turned away from her, his eyes closed. His chest had stopped moving. Already, his flesh that she touched was turning cold. A little noise could be heard, so strange, Elaine didn't recognise at first that it came from her own throat. When she did, she bit her lip to stop it, tasting blood. Her chin wobbled. Cracks were forming all along the inside of her chest.

"Kolyat…" she asked quietly, glistening eyes unable to tear away from her friend. "There's… th-there's something I don't understand. Why did the last verse say _she_?"

"The prayer was not for him, Warden. He has already asked forgiveness for the lives he has taken. His wish was for you…"

There was a sting behind her nose and eyes, an ache in the back of her throat. Elaine breathed deep in an effort to hold it back. Her entire body was trembling with the effort to hold it all in. Somehow, she managed to open Thane's lifeless hand. Into his palm, she pressed a small coin with an engraving of a Drell god upon its face. She closed his fist back around it and kissed his knuckles.

"Goodbye Thane." She uttered in the quietest voice that had ever been heard. "I'll meet you across the sea…"

She managed to hold it together for… she didn't know how long. It was unclear how long she was permitted to stay within the room, clinging onto her friend's body. Grief has a way of numbing the mind to everything around it. Time becomes a concept of little consequence, memory does not form, and thought is replaced with simply _being_. At some point, Kolyat moved her out of the room as others with faces she couldn't remember came in to take the body away. She didn't know where he went to. All she knew was that suddenly, she was alone in the corridor. And that realisation was what broke her.

With a wail more befitting an animal, all the emotion burst out of Elaine in such a torrent, she thought her body was breaking apart. She leant againt a wall because her legs refused to hold her up a second longer. Collapsing to the floor, the Warden curled into a ball and wept into her hands. It was unclear how long she stayed there, for her tears were unending, the lonely hole that had been punched through her chest seemed to go on forever. But then she felt hands around her shoulders, arms around her body, and she was cradled close. Human tears fell on her head and Elaine clung to her saviour as if nothing on earth could pull them apart.

Shepard held her close, and let their mingled grief spill out together.

* * *

Elsewhere in the galaxy, millions of lightyears away, in the Mactare system, the Turian Colony of Taetrus was under siege. It was a world that had seen recent conflict, even before the Reaper invasion. But the Turian people were a bunch that never backed down from a fight. The Reapers had made a grave error in attempting to take the Turian people, to break them. The saying "you never see a Turian's back unless he's dead" was considered a badge of pride for them.

But even with their defiance, their military prowess and their fighting spirit, the Reapers had still given them a beating. Taetrus had been one of the first worlds the Reapers had attacked following their conquest of Khar'shan and Earth. The Turian Hierarchy had since made two attempts to enter the Mactare system via mass relay to liberate Taetrus, but both were unsuccessful. Despite it all, the soldiers on the colony held on with everything they had, and all their civilians fought beside them, calling upon their own service of the military from what might've been months, years or decades ago.

General Berious had been part of the response sent by the Hierarchy to quell turian separatist group that had waged war on this planet just a year ago. It was through his actions that the scum had been eradicated as quickly as it had been. He'd even thought to retire here, and by the Spirits, he was not going to let some oversized squid-machines take that away from him! The Reapers had thought to make an example of his colony, to damage Turian morale by broadcasting their supposed "victories" across the buoy network. All it did was enrage Berious and those under his command, and they had fought back three times as hard and had even managed to hold off the Reapers with surprising success.

Now, they had Reaper forces attempting to close in on the last stronghold of the colony. All the colonists had been moved to this location, all their supplies and ammunition coming with them. Berous' first order had been for them to try and find older weapons or to even re-calibrate the newer ones so that they could work without heat-sincs. Without supplies coming in from the Hierarchy, they needed every bullet to count. Berious had managed to keep the Reapers' husks at bay, not one had breached their stronghold. The Reapers had thought to lay siege – though Berious was ever fearful that the Capital Ships would be called in at any moment to finish them. For now, the big ones were being kept busy coming through the larger cities and harvesting the bodies and whatever stragglers their were. Berious knew it wouldn't be long before they came this way, but he would hold them off as long as he could.

For now, he had to try and keep the smaller ones out.

"… and I want a full batallion to charge in from their left flank." He said, pointing to the map he and his top sergants were gathered around. "If we hit them from two fronts, then they won't know what hit them until it's too late."

"Why do you suppose they're digging in, sir?" asked one, a young soldier new to his promotion.

"They're synthetic monstrosities, Sergant," sneered Berious. "Do they need a reason to do anything?"

"General!" someone cried out. Berious immediately tensed and reached for his gun, though his old joints cracked and ached from so long bent over the battle plans. He rushed outside his make-shift headquarters and up the stairs to the concrete wall that surrounded their fortress: an old military base carved into a mountain. A soldier on the wall saluted and showed him his omnitool. "General, a report from the scouts! The Reaper capital ships are in full retreat!"

One of his sergants came up behind him. "I've got comm. chatter of the same on the far side of the colony, sir!"

Berious peered over the wall as if he could see for it himself. Were they really leaving? Was that speck in the distance really the capital ships soaring up into the atmosphere and abandoning the fight? Had they really done it? Behind him, word must've spread faster than wildfire, for soon his troops were all cheering, and then the entire base was roaring to the sky to elebrate their victory. Berious himself could help but let his mandibles twitch wide in a smile. A breath of relief left him in a whoosh, and he suddenly could feel how _old_ and _tired_ he was. But it was worth it, if it meant the plague on the galaxy had left them alive.

A vibration in the concrete beneath Berious' boots made his stomach tighten. It was only slight, but the abnormality was still something that screamed to his old battle instincts. And then he felt it again, stronger this time. The triumphant cries of his soldiers fizzled out as they too felt it. Berious' turned to face the inside of his camp, every instinct inside him suddenly screaming to run, but he was rooted to the spot. The rumbling grew louder, the floor began to shake. His soldiers parted and formed a circle around a spot in the middle of their camp, the ground there the source of the quake, the earth rising up.

The ground burst open in a fountain of soil and rock. From the breach came a roar and a horde of monsters poured out!

They were bipedal in shape, but none of them were like anything Berious' recognised. Their skin was mangled, their flesh appeared as if it were rotting from their bones. They carried the stink of disease and death, and their eyes gleamed like wild animals as they snarled and leapt upon Berious' soldiers.

The turians attempted to get their wits about them, to shoot down their enemies, but it was too late. With swords and clubs made of bone and crude metals, the monsters swept out over the entire camp like a foul tide of death. They didn't just kill the turians, they ripped them apart – gleefully, even! Berious was rooted to the spot, unable to move, even as he saw the monsters rush up the steps to the wall. His soldiers tried valiantly to protect him, shouting at him for orders, but he had been rendered speechless. For every monster they shot down, five more were right behind it. And when their guns became overheated without heat-sincs, the monsters swarmed over them and tore them to shreds.

One of the monsters suddenly came upon Berious, its gnashing teeth so close it shocked the old general back into consciousness. He shot his pistol, catching the creature between the eyes, but the one right behind it he hadn't seen coming. It tackled him to the floor, sinking its claws into Berious' exposed neck. The general cried out, and pulled the trigger of his pistol into the creature again and again: _BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM!_

It almost tore out his throat before it finally stopped moving on top of him. Berious' groaned and struggled to push the thing off. The wounds on his neck felt like they were on fire. Did these things have poison on their claws? He felt suddenly feverish, and coughed. For some reason he felt _dirty… tainted…_

A shadow fell over the camp. Berious looked up, his stomach falling at the thought of a capital ship coming now of all times.

But what he saw made his insides turn to liquid that poured out down his legs.

A beast of wings and scales soared over the mountain-fortress, opening its wide maw filled with gleaming jagged teeth. It roared a battlecry so terrible and so frightening that it shook the mountain peak. Behind it, dark storm clouds festered in the sky and spat forth purple lightning. When the beast turned its gaze upon their camp, Berious caught sight eyes that were filled with nothing but murderous intent and evil maliciousness.

He had thought the Reapers would've been the worst thing to befall this little strong hold. But he was so very wrong. Death itself had come upon Taetrus. Death was here.

Death opened its jaws, and breathed a dark fire of evil and destruction that killed all beneath its flames.

* * *

Elaine spent the entire rest of the day and night fortified inside the Normandy to grieve Thane's passing. Shepard stayed with her throughout, and EDI's presence hung over them both like a mother soothing them in her embrace. At some point during that time, Elaine's tears were finally finished, and the rest of her night was spent in exhausted sleep. The next day, she just wanted to hide from the world, to continue to wallow in her self-loathing and grief. But fate would not be so kind. She and Shepard received important summons from the Council, and though the pair of them didn't want to, they knew they could not refuse.

They had expected to be taken to the large council-chamber, but instead, they were taken to a private room. The only thing in this room was a small circular table at the very centre. This must've been the room where the council dilberated before being seen by the public with their decisions. Elaine followed Shepard in, still feeling too emotionally fragile to truly commit herself to even being fully conscious.

The Turian Councilor greeted them. "Shepard, Cousland. Thank you for coming."

"Of course, Councilors." Nodded Shepard.

"We wanted to thank you once again for your bravery and quick action during the coup." Said the Asari Councilor. "Were it not for your efforts, this station and our lives would've been taken by Cerberus."

"And we also wanted to give our sympathies for the loss of your teammate," the Salarian Councilor glanced at the ground, his large eyes appearing truly saddened. "I owe Mr Krios a debt I don't think I can ever repay."

Elaine had to clear her throat a handful of times before she could speak. "Thank you, Councilor Valern."

"But that is not the sole reason we called you here," the asari councillor's face seemed to pale. "We've just received… disturbing footage from a Turian colony called Taetrus…"

She pressed a button, and above the table, a hologram came to life. It was a video, taken from the air above a mountain-range, an old-looking fort built into its side. From the vantage point, it was obvious that the one filming was a Reaper. Down below, some sort of activity was going on across the fortress, like angry black ants. But then the image zoomed in, and Elaine felt her other worries be brushed aside with a snappingly cold wind. She say Darkspawn, thousands of them, running all over the base, tearing apart Turian soldiers and civilians and smearing blue blood all across the fortress until the stone was painted in it. A shadow came in front of the camera – the Archdemon. It roared its triumph, the Darkspawn roaring back to it and offering the bodies of their enemies as if in tribute to their foul god.

The footage was suddenly cut. The Turian Councilor leaned against the table, a growl emenating from his chest. "The Colony is gone. The Reapers aren't even harvesting it. It's just… gone."

The asari councillor put a hand on her comrade's shoulder in a quiet show of support. "Going over your reports, Shepard, we realise you have faced similar creatures in previous missions. With all that in mind, we want to be brought up to date. What are these things?"

"They're Darkspawn, ma'am." Elaine spoke in a hollow voice before Shepard could say a word. All eyes turned on her. She stepped towards the table, her eyes fixed on the image of the Archdemon, its fangs bared and eyes gleaming. "They originate from my homeworld, Thedas. My people never knew for certain where they came from. The general consensus was that they were monsters created from… an experiment gone wrong; shall we say. They are empty soulless creatures that want nothing but the destruction of everything they touch."

"And how do they plan to do that?" asked the salarian.

"By simply existing." Elaine splayed out her hands helplessly. "You see, inside the blood of the Darkspawn is a disease called the taint. It corrupts and kills everything it touches. The land grows infertile, crops don't grow, animals grow sick and not even the rains fall. Wherever the Darkspawn walk, they spread this plague all around them. They infect it into people when they attack – those that they leave alive, anyway."

The turian councillor was confused. "They take no prisoners? No hostages?"

"What would they need them for? Dakrspawn are typically no more intelligent than animals. They have enough intelligence to make crude armour and weapons, and how to take advantage of weakness in their prey, but it's not true tactics. They only exist to fulfil basic functions. They only eat living beings because of greed – the taint sustains them without the need for food. If they need to breed they take female prisoners and turn them to bear offspring. The only other thing they want is to spread their taint to all corners of the world… or to every world, in this case."

The asari councillor had gone pale. "By the goddess…"

"You say they are unintelligent _typically_ …" the turian councillor narrowed his eyes. "But they just overwhelmed an entire Turian colony. They'd need better tactics for that."

"That's because of _that._ " She pointed an accusing finger at the dragon in the video. "The Archdemon. On my world, Darkspawn would live underground, only coming to the surface in rare and small raids. They stayed there because they would be searching for one of those. We called them Old Gods. What they are exactly… I don't know. All I know is that when the Darkspawn find and awaken them, they control the Darkspawn race as an unstoppable horde. Through its power, it grants them far greater intelligence as it commands them. With an Archdemon arisen, this is no longer a mere horde. This is a Blight. And it will only ever end when the Archdemon dies."

"So they are organic in orgin?" the Salarian Councillor asked. "Why are they working with the Reapers?"

Shepard stepped beside Elaine. "It's obvious they've been indoctrinated–"

The Asari Councillor held up her hand for silence with a reproachful look. She nodded back to Elaine. "Miss Cousland?"

Shepard stared, dumbstruck. What the hell had just happened? After all he'd done, all his warnings that had been ignored, he was going to be cast aside and neglected _again_? Granted, this was not his area of expertise, but… surely they would like his contribution? He looked to Elaine, who seemed equally perturbed as he was. But she still turned to the Councillors to answer them.

"I think it's been going on for a while." She admitted in a quiet voice. "We know the Collectors first came across my world and the Darkspawn taint there. My guess would be that the Reapers had them capture the Archdemon, and they've attempted to turn it into their slave so that the horde can bolster their forces."

"Attempt?"

"The Archdemon is the most powerful entity I've ever encountered. It is a thing of malice and intelligence and madness. It is unknowable, it is something that seems to exist differently then how we do. To me… it seems too simple that the Reapers were able to subdue it."

The Turian Councillor looked her up and down. "And how do you know so much about this, Miss Cousland?"

"On my world, Councilor, there was an order whose soul purpose was to protect the world from Darkspawn. We were the Grey Wardens. We are the only ones who know how to fight the Darkspawn and how to end the Blight."

"Are there more of you?" asked the asari.

Elaine closed her eyes, shoulders slumped. "Sadly… I am the only one left alive, that I know of."

The Councillor's all looked to each other, a silent form of communication going on between them. They nodded amongst themselves, and stood side by side, they gave their verdict. The Asari Councillor said: "Then it seems clear to us that this Galaxy is in dire need of a Grey Warden."

"We've been looking through the reports," said the Salarian Councillor. "It is quite interesting – there is no record of you prior to your recruitment onto the Normandy. Not even a birth certificate. You belong to no registered homeworld, or government or military."

Elaine stood frozen to the spot. Her mind was spinning to try and conjur ideas on what lie to tell them to explain how she had been non-existent up until this point.

"If we are to endorse the use of the Grey Wardens," Said the Turian Councillor. "Then it seems apt to have you recognised as one of our citizens."

Her mouth dropped open. The Asari Councillor pressed a few buttons on the table and her voice suddenly grew powerful, as if she had the authority of a queen.

"Miss Elaine Cousland, this Council hereby grants you full citizenship as a member of council-space. You are absolved of all former charges made against you, and you are given the rights and privileges of any citizen of the Citadel."

The Turian Councillor stepped up beside his comrade. "You are hereby called upon to uphold our laws and to protect those laws, this station, and our society to the best of your ability."

"Furthermore," the Salarian Councillor joined them. "We, the Council, hereby recognise the organisation known as the Grey Wardens. Send us all the details, and we will be sure you are given the powers and authority to conduct this order as you would have back in your own world."

"And lasty," said the Asari Councillor. "This Council invites you, Warden Cousland, to be our primary advisor on the Blight. This means you will need to report to us the progression of the Blight, advise us on how to counteract it, and to do as we bid to combat it."

"But Elaine is a member of my crew!" burst Shepard.

"Fear not, Commander," the Turian Councillor held up a hand for calm. "We do not ask that Warden Cousland give up her place on the Normandy. We recognise that at your side, she will more than likely be on the front lines and therefore able to send us acturate reports. We only ask that she do this at regular intervals."

"If there are no further objections, then this council agrees to put forward all motions raised here." And with one press of a button, it was done. "This meeting is adjourned."


	20. The Mourning Period

The docking bay was as crowded as ever, and Shepard must've bumped into every person there. But it couldn't be helped. His mind was elsewhere. The coup, the Reapers, the Darkspawn, the Council, Elaine's promotion; it all swirled together inside his mind. There was no point in attempting to decipher his feelings about each subject. He couldn't hold on to a single swirling thought long enough to feel anything before it was ripped out of his grasp by the next in the tornado. At least he was going back to the Normandy. All the politics and overcrowding and turmultion of the Citadel would be immediately forgotten when he was _home_.

Shepard was so preoccupied with his own self, he again didn't notice when someone was right in front of him – unti they shouted in his face. "Commander!"

He stopped short, brain taking a moment to catch up with what was happening. A woman stood before him, dark hair sweeping down either side of her wide and mildly pretty face. A camera-bot hovered over her shoulder, being sure to get a good angle of him and the woman in a dress so tight it had no choice but to accentuate her bust.

Uh-oh. "Sorry, ma'am," said Shepard, looking to make a speedy escape. "But I don't give interviews. I have a bad reputation with reporters."

The woman chortled and purposefully stepped in his path. "I know, Commander. And you should know that it hasn't exactly endeared you to a galactic audience. But that can change."

Shepard stopped. "I'm sorry. Who are you?"

"Diana Allers," she stuck out her hand to him. "Alliance News Network. I think we can help each other."

The Commander looked from the offered hand and back to Diana's face. He said nothing. Too often he'd heard the same thing over and over. We can help each other, give me a good interview, I want _your_ side of the story. Didn't matter the excuse. The result was always the same.

"I'm a military reporter with a show called ' _Battlespace'_." Diana continued, putting her hand down again when it was obvious Shepard wouldn't shake it. To her credit though, she didn't even bat an eye. "We broadcast on just about all council planets. My producers want me embedded on a human ship, and I want that ship to be the Normandy."

Now it was Shepard's turn to scoff. "And why would _I_ want that?"

"Wars can be won or lost in the editing room. And this war _needs_ to be won."

"You do realise that the Normandy is on the front lines, right? We'll be seeing far too much action than most civilians would be comfortable with. Risk of death is extremely high."

"But isn't it for everyone right now? Commander, I don't know if you've noticed, but galaxy morale is at an all time low. We've got Reapers, monsters and now a coup to take over the Citadel? People are running out of hope. We need to give them that! If I'm on your ship, I can show them the work you're doing. Inspire them."

Without mentioning the fact that she'd be on the most advanced ship in the Alliance Fleet, in the midst of the most famous crew in the galaxy, and able to put her fingers in every single pie. "And also get access to my crew and all the juicy gossip, I bet."

"That's not my style, Commander." For the first time, Diana's eyes turned hard, even slightly offended. "And I'll tell you what? You get veto power over the segments I file. If there's anything in there you don't like, just say the word and it's gone. I've got Alliance Security clearance and operate without a crew."

Tenacious and determined, Shepard would give her that much. She sold a very good pitch, and as a reward, Shepard did honestly think about it for more than a few minutes. However, considering the sensitive information he carried on his ship, he figured it was too much of a risk. "I'm sorry, Miss Allers. But I don't think a war-ship is a suitable place for a reporter."

"Really? Because Admiral Hackett seemed to think so."

Shepard did a double take. Diana produced a datapad and handed it to him. Through the usual long-winded faffle, Shepard found in the small print exactly what Diana described. Hackett himself had given her permission to operate on board the Normandy. Why would he allow this? Why not tell Shepard about it before now?

Pretending to not see the way his fingers tightened on the datapad to the point of nearly cracking it, Diana offered gently: "I still wanted you to agree. Veto-power, remember? That includes me. Can you handle me on your ship, Commander? Or do I keep looking?"

What choice did he have, really? Thrusting the file back in her direction, Shepard forced a long breath through his nose. "Fine. Tell your producers yes – for now. We'll see how it works out. Report to the ship as soon as possible."

Allers beamed before running off with her cam-bot to arrange for things to be added to the Normandy's manifest. Shepard watched her go, internally groaning for the headache he knew he was going to get from the crew. He could just imagine Engineer Adams complaining because of a nosey reporter in his engine room. Ah, well. Couldn't be helped now.

As the doors to the Normandy's airlock opened, Shepard froze in his tracks to see Kaidan stood waiting for him. The man looked like he hadn't slept at all, with messy hair and bags under his eyes. Upon seeing Shepard, Kaidan lurched up straight from his slouch against the wall. He stood to attention, and Shepard just watched, bewildered.

"Oh. Kaidan." What else could he say? He hadn't actually thought not to see Kaidan again any time soon – hadn't even wanted to. "Something I can do for you?"

"Yeah, I'm…" Kaidan was trying to look anywhere but at Shepard. "I'm trying to wrap my head around what just happened."

"You angry?"

"No, just… not used to staring down the gun of someone I've worked with so closely. How it all went down, it's got me… I don't know…" he trailed off in a whisper.

Shepard shook his head. This day just got better and better. But despite everything that happened, the gleam of being utterly lost that shone in Kaidan's eyes made his stomach twist. "Fine. Talk. Let's have it."

Kaidan took a deep breath, and finally met Shepard's gaze. "If I hadn't backed down first, I feel like you would've taken me out."

Oh no, he did not get to do that. "Kaidan, you had a gun pointed at _me._ You chose Udina over _me."_

"You didn't answer my question."

"Does it matter? The main thing is we stopped the coup and Cerberus is off the Citadel!"

"Sometimes the way a thing goes down _does_ matter, Shepard. Later, when you have to live with yourself. Knowing that you acted with integrity…"

"You really wanna know if I'd have put a bullet in you?" Shepard asked. "That if you had pushed it, I would've done it?"

Helplessly, Kaidan avoided the commander's eyes again. "You're right… maybe I don't wanna know…"

"Maybe now that you're a spectre, you'll learn to be prepared to do whatever is necessary for galactic peace – even if it's the last thing in the world you wanna do."

"Actually, I don't think I will." Shepard looked up at the man sharply. Kaidan shrugged. "After the coup, the Council stripped me of my Spectre status. Said they can't trust Udina's judgement."

"I'm sorry to hear that." And he actually was. It didn't seem fair to punish Kaidan for merely being naïve. "What'll you do now?"

"Hackett offered me a position in his fleet. It would be a great opportunity…"

"But?"

Kaidan scratched at the back of his neck, attempting to find the right words. Then grunted. "I'll be frank, Shepard. I'd turn it down in a second if there was a chance to join you on the Normandy again."

The commander thought he could've choked on air. "Are you serious?"

"Maybe some time in your service will put things back in priority for me?"

Gaping at the gall, Shepard tried to understand what was going through his head. Three years ago, Shepard had treated Kaidan like family. And since then Kaidan had resisted that bond, had called him a traitor, questioned his motives. They'd spoken of putting water under the bridge, and then when the test of faith had truly come, Kaidan had refused to listen. It hurt Shepard to admit it, but perhaps there was too much bad blood in the water to let it slide away.

"I don't think it'd work out, Major."

Kaidan couldn't hide his dejection. "I see…"

"The position with Hackett sounds like a great opportunity, the words were robotic, forced. "Maybe you should take it."

"Yeah… okay… Guess it's true. Once you burn a bridge, Commander Shepard won't ever rebuild it."

Shepard couldn't look at him anymore, and so made his escape. "All the best to you, Alenko."

He retreated into the Normandy, retreated from the world. Into the Normandy, he hid from all the confusing and conflicting emotions that threatened to swallow him into a pit from which he knew there was no coming back. Numbness filled him as he waited for decontamination to be done with him. Trudging through the CIC, he was barely aware of Traynor informing him of ex-Cerberus scientists requesting asylum. Only a nod and a grunt could be forced out of him.

There was only a few things in this galaxy Commander Shepard kept so close to him they might as well have been hs own life-blood. His integrity, his trust in his friends, his position and his resolve.

And this war was slowly bleeding him dry of all of it.

* * *

Cup of tea in hand, Elaine tried to ignore the taste as she made her way back to her room. A datapad in hand, she attempted to concentrate on the small words written on the screen. The Council had sent her reports for her to look over and to advise them on. It seemed that the Darkspawn had managed to figure out how to pilot ships in the basic sense via using on-board ship VI's. There were a totally of six cruisers that had been taken down, repaired to just about functioning status, and were then piloted by the Darkspawn to transport them from world to world. The Reapers and the Harvesters also carried vast amounts of the hoard from place to place, but the council were worried about these rogue ships. If they touched down on any planet, they would be spreading the Blight with their mere presence.

Rounding the corner to go back to her room, she stopped short when she noticed Garrus stood opposite the elevator, facing the memorial wall. He was quiet, just staring at the list of names. Elaine slowly pocketed her pad. Quietly going to stand beside him, she touched his arm, wanting to know why he looked so solem.

He blinked his eyes wide as if waking from a dream. Glancing down at her, his eyes softened. "Hey. You okay?"

"To tell you the truth… I'm not certain." She sighed.

"Hell of a few days, huh?" he asked quietly, turning back to the memorial wall. "Udina loses his mind, the Citadel almost falls, you got elevated to high-society and we almost had to put down a friend."

Sometimes she loved Garrus' ability to difuse any situation with a quip. But times like now, that same talent almost prevented her from seeing how he truly felt. "I can't imagine what was going through yours and Shepard's minds."

"Trying to stretch the powers of telepathy to shout at Kaidan's non-existant brain to stand down." Despite the line, neither of them laughed. In the quiet that stretched between them, he reached over and took hold of her hand, twining their fingers together. "Have you ever been there, Elaine? What if one of your old friends betrayed you? If it had come down to it, could you have pulled the trigger?"

Morrigan came to mind. "I have been betrayed. But even then, I couldn't bring myself to hurt her. If we start killing our friends, then war turns into murder."

"But it doesn't always give us the easy way out, does it? At least Kaidan didn't have to join Ash."

"Thane did." She whispered.

His hand squeezed hers. "It wasn't your fault." He leaned down and pressed his forehead into her temple. His voice was quiet beside her ear. "We'll get the bastard. I promise you that."

That was already a forgone conclusion. Elaine wanted to gut Leng slowly, to have him watch his own intestines be spilled on the floor, to see the terror of death in his eyes before she plucked the pair of them out and then severed his head from his shoulders. But she didn't want to think about that right now.

Instead, she held onto Garrus' arm, her head leant against his shoulder. She looked to the name on the memorial that her lover seemed so focused on. "Tell me about her, Garrus. I know so little about what happened before I joined you all."

The pair of them began to walk back towards her chambers, arm in arm. Her room was finally complete to how she liked. A large bed was pressed against the left wall, one of the sofas having to be removed to let it fit. One sofa still remained, with a small table before it. On the opposite side was the bookshelves and an armour and weapons rack. Odd little touches here and there had been requested by her so that she might feel more at ease. A divider was beside her wardrobe in the corner for her to dress behind. On the wall, a portrait of a castle on a hill overlooking the sea reminded her of Highever.

Garrus slowly sat on the edge of her bed, the mattress dipping beneath him. "Ash… she was proud, stubborn and slow to trust. When we first met, she hated me. Was a bit of a xenophobe. Her grandfather was the general in charge of protecting a planet humans and turians went to war over three decades ago. He's the only human in history to surrender to an alien force. Ever since, there's been a stigma on the Williams name. Ash never got over it. Resented me for it."

"That must've been hard," Elaine said, seating herself beside him.

"I was just as bad. I goaded her, at times. Kept pushing at her, made comments. I wrote her off as a racist and didn't really give her a chance to be anything else. There were times we got on – the mission was too important for us to be at each other's throats constantly." He stared down at his hands, his voice barely above a whisper. "The day she died, I was an ass. I snapped and said the worst thing I could think of. At the time, I thought I could apologise later. But she never came back. Sometimes I wonder what might've happened if…"

They both sat there in silence. Elaine couldn't say anything of comfort because she knew exactly how he felt. Gently, she guided his hands into her lap and slowly removed his gauntlets and gloves. Putting them on the side table, she returned to just holding his talons, craving the warmth of his flesh, his skin on her skin. For a long time, the pair of them didn't say anything. They just sat in the silence.

And then, Elaine dared to break it. "Do you think… if I hadn't lost my composure, if I hadn't let Leng get to me… would Thane still be here?"

"Don't think like that." He pulled his hand out of hers and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Thane wouldn't want you to mourn him like this. He was a good friend, but he would want you to remember how he lived, not how he died."

Nodding, she tried to recognise the point, but it was difficult. His death was all she coud think about. Biting her lip, she held back the tears. Garrus pulled her close, tucking her head underneath his chin. She held onto him, grateful to feel something warm, something real, something alive beneath her fingers.

"Garrus?" she whispered. "Could you stay with me tonight? I just… I need some time to mourn. For Thane. For Mordin. They deserve to be grieved over, and then tomorrow they can be laid to rest and we can move on. I'd appreciate it if you'd just hold me through that."

There was too much to do. A war to be won. But all that would come tomorrow. Tonight, she had the quiet to put to bed old ghosts and new ones.

"You don't even need to ask." He said.

They both stripped themselves of their armour and clothes, but they did not make love. Instead, the pair of them laid beneath the sheets and simply held on to each other as the night went on. There voices were never very loud when they chose to talk. Stories about the past, little conversations about what was happening around them now, where this road might take them. Sometimes Elaine cried, or Garrus would make a keening noise of grief. And when all was quiet, Garrus held Elaine in his arms and never let go.

The night wore on, the lights dimming as the clock told them of the ever-growing late hour. The shutters on the window were never once closed – Elaine didn't want them closed, still fearing the absolute darkness from before. She was dozing, her head laid on Garrus' chest, her fingers twined with his over his lower abdomen. Perhaps she fell into a true sleep, for she only recognised that Garrus had left her when she could no longer feel his fingers trailing through her hair. Stirring, she looked around for him, and spotted him attempting to gather his things, his undersuit back on and only up to his waist to keep his dignity.

She sat up drowsily. "Wait. Where are you going?"

Realising he'd been spotted, he tried to push her back down. "It's alright, just go back to sleep. I'm only going back to my bed now."

For some reason the idea seemed absurd. "Do you want to leave?"

"Well, not particularly, no."

"Then why don't you just stay here?" she threw back the sheets so that he could join her. Almost instantly the cooler air made her naked flesh tingle. He gawked from her to the bed, unsure. Even though her mind was still half asleep, she knew exactly what she was doing. There was significance to this. She was asking Garrus to move in with her. "I'm serious, Garrus. This room's plenty big enough for the both of us. Why don't we just _stay_ here… together?"

He only hesitated a moment, watching her face to be sure. And then, he dropped his things unceremoniousy and returned to her side. Elaine wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

* * *

Shepard didn't mean find her, he'd actually been wanting a drink and from the lounge when he found it was already occupied by Liara. She stood at the window, gazing into the expanse of space, deep in contemplation. Surprised, but pleasantly so, he came towards her. "Hey."

"Hello, Shepard." She greeted. "I just met the newest addition to our crew. I was unaware the Normandy was to become a reality TV show."

The commander winced as he stood beside her, staring out into the stars. "Yeah… it wasn't my idea, at least."

"She was polite and knew when I didn't want to talk anymore. That's more than we can say about some _other_ members of the press we've met."

He snorted. "I'll say."

"She asked me about Kaidan," her words were a little more reserved, testing the waters. "I guess his being made redundant from the spectres is now news."

The smile vanished from Shepard's face.

Liara stood quietly for a time, but she didn't hide in fear from the subject. "When I first came on the Normandy, Kaidan was so helpful. Always ready to explain protocol, or to talk. I was glad to meet another biotic. It made the other humans on board seem a lot less… alien."

"He made his bed. Now he can lie in it."

"Yes. But he was still a friend."

He threw her a look. "Did you want him back?"

"No. I don't think that would've done anyone any good." Finally she got the message that he didn't want to talk about it, and so dropped it. She turned to him, the set of her shoulders and position of her hands in front of her signalling to him that she now wanted to talk business. "What I want now is information on this Cerberus Assassin. I don't think it's a coincidence this Kai Leng was an N-7 ranked Alliance soldier too, Shepard. Maybe the Illusive Man misses you."

Shepard's eyes grew hard as he remembered the smug old man. "What he misses is manipulating me for his own goals."

"I'm afraid those goals now include sending Kai Leng after the Catalyst. And possibly Elaine."

"You think there's a chance of that?" Good God, he hoped not. No matter what, not Elaine nor anyone else deserved to be subjected to that sick bastard.

She held out her empty hands. "I can't think anything until I have more information. I have some of my best agents working on it."

"Tell me if you find anything."

She nodded, and made for a quick escape to her office, to bury herself in more work. Shepard almost let her slip through his fingers, but some part of him must've had some sense left, for her called after her: "Liara!"

Stopping at the threshold of the door, she turned back to him, eyes wide and curious.

His mouth felt suddenly dry. "Um, we haven't really had a chance to talk… you know… since that night on Tuchanka?"

An ever so slight smile curved her lips, and she stepped back into the room. Shepard felt his heart flutter. The temptation to reach out and touch her was too strong. She came so close only a foot of space separated them, yet it still seemed too much.

"I wanted to give you some space." She said. "With everything that's been going on, I didn't want you to think I was only adding one more burden to think about."

"You could never be a burden to me, Liara."

"I know," that small smile came back, a glint of the shy, adorable doctor he first met. "But I thought you needed a friend more than anything."

" _Friends_ doesn't cut it for me anymore, Liara."

Her brows rose, a mischievous, teasing glint in her eyes. "Well, that sounds serious."

"I _am_ serious." He closed the distance between them, taking her hands in his. His heart was pounding. "Whatever happens… I'd like to spend my life with you."

That smile he loved grew wider across her face. "Then you're extremely luky that I feel that way too."

He couldn't hold it back a second longer and dove to claim her mouth. She gladly allowed him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders to pull her closer. Shepard felt every molecule in his body sing with joy! Finally, after everything that had happened, here was something that was going right for him. The woman of his dreams in his arms. Official in a way they hadn't really been since the SR1.

When they finally broke for air, he pulled her against him in a tight embrace. "I promise you, Liara. I'm going to make you the happiest woman in the galaxy."

"I look forward to it," she hummed contentedly.

"We just need to get through this war first."

Abruptly, she pulled out of his arms, a slightly guilty wince pulling at her mouth. "Oh… This may not be the best time, but I have something else. A contact within Asari High Command was insistent I pass on a distress signal to you."

Shepard frowned. "Something they can't handle?"

"From what I can tell, they sent several commando squads to investigate. None of them returned. They didn't ask me directly, but I think High Command is hoping you might help."

"What's it about?"

"A sensitive situation out on an isolated monastery. From what I can tell, it's a colony of Ardat-Yakshi."


	21. The Monastery

**Author's Note: I am sooooooooooo sorry this is late, lovely readers. I promise next week will be on time. Just suffice it to say that I was unexpectedly busy.**

 **Please don't forget to review!**

* * *

Elaine strolled back through the CIC, giving a passing greeting and friendly smile to Traynor as she did so. She felt content as she took the elevator down to the Crew Deck. Life aboard the Normandy was… as good as it could be, given the circumstances. They all knew they were at war. There was an atmosphere hanging over every conversation, every smile. Crew members either muted or ignored reports of more worlds being taken by the Reapers and now the Darkspawn. Their hearts were hardened to the numbers of casualties coming in.

And yet, all of them tried to go with life. Misery and despair were the weapons their enemies used to defeat them long before they engaged them in battle. So they carried on. News of Elaine and Garrus now sharing quarters, ' _moving in together'_ as some called it, had been noticed by enough people that Joker now knew. He'd called Elaine up this morning to talk about it, or to tease her, should she say. And it was during that conversation that Elaine realised Joker and EDI seemed to be leading down a similar road of romance. And what's more, Chakwas had been seen outside her Medbay for the first time in weeks. They'd all begun to notice how she seemed a little haunted since her brush with death at the hands of the Collectors. Yet now, she was seen with Engineer Adams and the others, drinking and laughing for the first time since this war began.

The Warden wondered what life would be like when this war was won. Would they all remain together or go their separate ways? Who would they lose and who would remain? Would those that survived be able to pick up the pieces once it was over? Would they even win the war at all?

She didn't like to dwell on such things, but today she couldn't help herself as the elevator made its slow crawl between decks. She fantased for a moment of her surviving this war; which she knew was an impossibility. What life would she want to live? She imagined Shepard would let her stay aboard the Normandy. She could travel the galaxy, righting wrongs and protecting those not strong enough to protect themselves. Or the Council had just reinstated her authority as a Grey Warden – she was The First Warden now. The head of her order. She could help to rebuild it. She might need to experiment on how to recreate the Joining, or more than likely, she would recreate the Grey Wardens with a new purpose, a new initiation. What that might be, she did not know. Or perhaps she could go back to Thedas. Rebuild something there, even if it were only a memorial to the civilisations that had been lost there.

And then she imagined a little house on a hill overlooking the sea. She'd have a view just like the one back at her childhood home, Castle Cousland. Maybe she'd have a quiet life. A few chickens, farm animals, her own vegetable garden. Herbalism had never been her strong suit, but maybe she could learn to be a good gardener? Would she be happy to finally come to the day when she could hang up her armour, her shield and her sword, and stop fighting?

So many questions that would never be answered… There was a tragedy in that.

"Are you sure you wanna play this game?" she heard Garrus' voice echo around the corner as the elevator doors opened. Like a guiding light, his voice led her from the darkness of her bittersweet thoughts. In the Mess Hall she found him, leaning against the window of the Medbay, smirking across at Vega who was at the Kitchen counter.

"What's the matter, Vakarian?" said Vega. "You chicken?"

"I don't even know what that is. Though I've heard everything in the galaxy tastes like it. But if you're suggesting I'm scared… game on, Vega!"

Elaine hid herself in the shadows by the mess-hall table, curious to watch the pair of them. Vega gestured elaborately to Garrus. "Age before wisdom."

"Okay." Nodded Garrus, crossing his arms and leaning back lazily. "Back in my C-Sec days, I busted a Batarian spy ring that was trying to assassinate a councilor."

Vega snorted, "Please, I fought off a dozen angry Batarians on Omega single-handedly! Used one of 'em as a landing pad off a three-story jump."

Ah. They were exchanging stories. Attempting to discover who was the better warrior due to experience.

Garrus' smirk grew a little wider. "Just warming up, seeing what you had. Now: I tracked down this guy Saren. Stopped him from raising a Geth army and unleashing the Reapers three years ago."

"Doesn't count. You did that with Shepard." Pouted Vega.

"You're right, I was with Shepard. From the very beginning."

"That just means you're old!"

Elaine had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing out loud.

To his credit, Garrus chuckled too. "Still think you can win this, huh?"

"I can do this all day, Scars."

"Funny you mention those," said Garrus, running a talon along said scars. "Ever hear the name Archangel?"

Vega's brows rose and he bit his cheek to hide his grin. "I might've."

"You know, you have. I'm Archangel. Maybe you also heard that, for a couple months there, the crime rate on Omega mysteriously dropped whilst Archangel did a little 'house-cleaning'."

"So you ran a cleaning service on Omega? Back on Fehl Prime, I uncovered a pair of Harvesters. Has to kill them. By myself."

"Two wormnecks… that's almost impressive."

"Oh, that's not even the best part," said Vega. "They laid an egg. It hatched. And I trained it to let me fly it."

Garrus threw his head back and laughed. "The Alliance teach you to make up crap like that? Or did you figure it out all by yourself?"

Vega shrugged. "It's a gift."

This time, Elaine couldn't disguise her giggling. The noise drew the attention of both males. The moment his eyes found her, Elaine saw Garrus' expression brighten further. She went to him without hesitation, standing right beside him.

"Hey, Elaine," he grinned warmly. "Don't mind us, just telling Vega here what it means to be a real soldier."

"I think, gentlemen," she gave her best impression of a haughty look, like a cat that had swallowed the canary. "You'll find that I beat the pair of you. After all, I willingly drank a poisonous substance to gain powers, martialled together an army made up of opposing factions, dethroned a traitor, stopped a civil war, and single-handedly prevented an apolocalypse on my own world. Oh, and in the process of that, I killed two dragons. One of which was a literal God."

The pair of them stared at her. Garrus who chortled and wrapped his arm around her, letting his hand settle on her hip. "Well, if we're being fair, your win is my win. What's mine is yours and vice versa, right? Isn't that the human saying?"

"How convenient for you." She smiled and leaned to give him a peck on his mandible.

"Um… Wow." Whistled Vega, who Elaine had completely forgotten was there. She and Garrus glanced at the other human, who looked like a deer caught in the stare of an archer, unknowing of whether to run or not. "Okay. So… when did you two get together?"

 _"_ _Oh, come on, Vega!"_ Joker's voice suddenly came from above. _"Don't tell me you haven't heard they've moved in together? You not noticed the sexual tension between these two? I can hardly sleep at night thanks to them!"_

Elaine fought the furious blush on her cheeks, but Garrus laughed good naturedly. He did so mainly at the expense of Vega, who scratched the back of his neck and looked around frantically for a change of subject.

"So, you killed a dragon _Lola_? A real dragon?" he asked.

"Yes." She said. "An Archdemon, overlord of all the Darkspawn. And another one that was a shapeshifting witch."

Even when embarrassed a moment beforehand, Vega whooped in triumph. "Nice!"

"You're not going to press for the details?"

"Nah. I can see you don't want to talk about it. Bet you look good doing it though." He winked.

She laughed. They talked a little while longer with Vega, but eventually he excused himself to return to the armoury, boasting about working out to ensnare the other females of the ship.

They watched him go, then Garrus leaned his mouth to Elaine's ear and asked, "You think we gave him nightmares?"

She snorted. "Probably just as much for the poor bystanders on our pretend date in Afterlife."

"Well, that was more for show." There was a nervousness in his voice that had her turning to look at him. Clearing his throat loudly, he asked hesitantly; "But I bet we wouldn't be that bad on a real date…?"

Elaine stared, open mouthed. She was partly in shock, and partly confused.

"What I mean is…" Garrus never liked it when she didn't give him a straight answer. He floundered, desperate to make himself clear. "Next time we're on the Citadel, why don't you and I go on a real date? I wanna do this the official way. Do you?"

She reached up and cupped his chin. "What do you think the answer is?" and then she kissed him.

* * *

The shuttle rattled as it entered the atmosphere of the planet below. Elaine tensed to try and stop herself from rocking with the motion of the shuttle. Javik sat in the seat beside her, silent and glowering. She didn't fancy touching him, even accidentally. This was their first mission together, and Elaine wasn't looking forward to it at all. At least she had EDI.

"Okay people," announced Shepard. "Asari High-Command wants us to check out an Ardat-Yakshi monastery."

"Ardat-Yakshi?" asked Elaine, a shiver crawling down her spine. "Like Morinth?"

On the small screen in the corner, Liara spoke to the team from her office on the Normandy. _"No. These Ardat-Yakshi lived in the monestary so that they wouldn't – or couldn't – harm anyone. However, they're still powerful biotics and potentially dangerous. That's why High-Command sent in the commandos to deal with the situation."_

Javik's eyes narrowed. "What were the commandos orders?"

 _"_ _If there was a chance the Ardat-Yakshi's could break loose, they were to purge the monastery."_

"You mean destroy it?" Elaine had no love for the Ardat-Yakshi. She knew what they were capable of, had narrowly escaped being on the receiving end of their devastating powers. Her mind was having trouble reconciling the raping monster that was Morinth with a priest-like tranquillity that Liara described. But even if she distrusted the Ardat-Yakshi, killiking them all seemed a little drastic. "It and all of them with it?"

 _"_ _They would've brought heavy explosives, yes."_ Said Liara. _"Ardat-Yakshi leave astronomical body counts. It's why they can never be free, and why High-Command won't rest until this place is destroyed."_

"We don't need any more Morinths running around during a war." Shepard said, his face grim. "Alright. We find the Commandos and then finish the job."

They landed, their destination a magnificent work of architecture. Most buildings Elaine had ever seen were made of block-shapes and straight lines. But this was all smooth curves and steep angles. Built amidst snowy mountains, the monestary appeared to be the place to embody peace. And yet… Elaine felt on edge from the silence. Not the silence of people being simply quiet. No, this was the silence of nothingness. There was not an echo of voices further off, not even the sound of the ashes of battle settling into place. It was the silence of every living thing being stolen from the world.

"That C1-11 skyline shuttle is exuding heat, indicating recent use." Said EDI, pointing to a red sky-car that was tucked into one corner of the courtyard. Elaine hadn't even noticed it was there. "Commando units would not use a civilian mode of transportation. Someone else is here."

Shepard exchanged a look with his team, and then they all made their way into the Monestary. The front doors led straight to an elevator – except that it seemed to be either no longer in use or stuck somewhere far below. There were ladders leading down to platforms all around the elevator shaft, and the team quickly began their decent. Darkness swallowed them the further down they went. Again, Elaine felt on edge. Why would there be such penetrating darkness? It wasn't even the hour of night outside.

The further down they went, Elaine felt a familiar tingle itch its way through her veins, a burning disgustingness she couldn't deny. There was a pounding in her ears, and she knew what was here.

When they reached a ledge, a terrible scream echoed up to them. The entire team froze on the spot. Elaine readied her sword and shield. Never in all her life had she heard something so terrible. At first she thought it was the sound of an animal, for surely no human could make such a foul noise. But what animal would be so blood-curdling in its screeching?

"That vocalisation exceeds asari vocal cord range." Said EDI. And then, they heard the noise again, more than one, further off, like a pack of wolves calling to each other. "As do those…"

"Shepard…" Elaine warned. "There's more,"

"The Taint?" She nodded. Shepard growled. " _Fantastic_ … Alright, everyone. Stay sharp."

Into the darkness they stepped. It must have once been a dinning hall, for long tables were illuminated by the lights from their weapons or armour. Chairs were overturned, debris littered the floor. Plates half filled with half-eaten food remained on the tables, cold and stale. Not a single light shone to illuminate the pitch black that surrounded them. Shepard led the way as they slowly stalked around the room, finding pieces of lives left abandoned. A broken personal terminal, or a book discarded on the floor.

They finally found a door that would lead onward. The coppery scent of blood filled the air, the stench of death. Just before the door's threshold, lay an unmoving mass. The group slowed, tensing for a surprise attack. Yet as they drew nearer, they discovered it was the body of an asari. Her frame was more muscled than others Elaine had seen, her armour black and thick. Beside her was a datapad.

"It would seem the asari commandos fell silent because the Reapers were here to greet them." said Javik, his voice echoing distortedly in the darkened hall. "A waste of soldiers. The Asari should have rid themselves of the Ardat-Yakshi long ago."

Elaine glared sharply at him. "By 'rid' you mean 'kill'." She herself was still undecided on how to feel on the subject, but Javik's cold-bloodedness had her riled to be contrary by default.

He met her eyes and curled his lip as he eyed her up and down. "My people would never have let such _monsters_ walk among them."

"This monestary's out of the way. What do the Reapers want with Ardat-Yakshi?" Shepard asked himself. EDI bent down to pick up the datapad. Shepard glanced at her. "Anything useful?"

"A floorplan marked with a NavPoint location for a bomb. It's planted inside the monastery's Great Hall."

Javik nodded. "The commandos followed orders. They planned to purge this place."

"This place is a lost cause if it's already crawlin' with Reapers." Said Shepard. "Let's get to the Great Hall."

They went through the door and into the corridor. Following EDI's directions as she read out to them the floorplan, they hurried along down a set of stairs that would lead them towards a set of balconies and then to the main courtyard. The silence and the dark clung to the walls, watching the intruders go by. The eerie absence of sound stalked them, creeping along their skin, making their ears beg to hear anything, even if their hearts dreaded that aweful scream once again. Yet not once did they hear it. And the longer they went without hearing it, the more tense Elaine became.

Finally, they came through a set of doors and found another body. But this one was not Asari.

"Darkspawn." Shepard said, nudging the body of the Hurlock with his boot. It lay unmoving, black blood squelching from a wound beside its mechanical eye. "Looks like you were right, Elaine."

"Wish I were wrong." She murmured.

In the next corridor, they finally heard signs of other life. A snarl, a guttural bark that Elaine recognised as more Darkspawn. She took point of their formation, readying herself for battle. She could sense the Darkspawn as they came closer upon them, and knew where she would need to strike next. But then she heard another sound, a familiar _whooshing_ and electrical buzzing that Elaine recognised as Biotics. She peeked around the corner, and felt her mouth fall open in surprise.

Samara stood in the middle of a lounge, her entire form encased in blue magic as she threw two Hurlocks into each other. Their bodies smashed together with a sickening crunch. A third ran at Samara, crude blade held high and it roared. Slamming her fist to the ground, the Justicar sent a shockwave rippling through the floor, upending tiles and bursting pipes until it blasted underneath the Hurlock and sent it flying. Regal in every move, Samara straightened, though she was a little out of breath. She did not see that a fourth Hurlock had crept up to its feet, pulled out a bow and arrow and aimed it for the back of her head.

Elaine did not hesitate. She threw Starfang at the Hurlock, the sword plunging into the beast's ribs. A killing blow, but not an instant one. The Hurlock screeched, gurgling on the blood filling its own lungs. Elaine leapt at it, slamming the edge of her shield into its throat so hard its neck snapped.

"Very good," said Samara's smooth and deep voice. "I almost didn't hear you."

"Samara!" Elaine grinned, pulling her sword free and sheathing it. She and Samara strided for each other, their wrists clasping in a firm shake. "What are you doing here? I would've thought you'd be in the thick of it, assisting the Asari military."

"I have been doing what I can. But the moment I heard of the distress signal here, I had to come." She said. They both turned at the sounds of footsteps as Shepard and the others came into view. Samara nodded respectfully. "Ah, Shepard. You are a most welcome sight – the corruption here runs deep."

"So you know the Commander and the Warden," sneered Javik suspiciously. "But why are you here?"

"I know the Monastery well – my two daughters live here, and I came to find them. Unfortunately, the Reapers had already infested this place by the time I arrived."

"Are these daughters just as dangerous as Morinth?" asked Shepard.

Samara shook her head. "Falere and Rila have followed the monastery's rules ever since they arrived. They've shown no inclination towards violence. I am here because they are my responsibility…"

"You'd better find your daughter's fast." Said the Commander. "The commandos set up a bomb here and I'm making sure it goes off."

"Shepard…" Elaine growled out. Samara used to be their teammate, he could stand to show a little courtesy.

"The Justicar Code demands I discover what happened to my children. I cannot ignore it." Samara declared. And then the screech finally came again. Elaine felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Fists enflamed with blue light, Samara looked to the door. "We're out of time."

Elaime made to stop her. "Samara–"

"We'll meet again." The Justicar halted her and marched through the doors. "I will draw these creatures off."

Shepard led them through another set of doors, following EDI's instructions. A massive multi-leveled courtyard opened up for them. Again, Elaine was awed by the sweeping curved architecture and the tranquillity these gardens provided. Above them the sky darkened and the first stars twinkled coldly. Around them, the peaks of the mountains echoed a lonely wind.

Elaine felt a burn in her blood, urgent, insistent, close.

"Get down!" she hissed and pushed the others behind the bushes.

They peaked out through the hedges as a small group of Hurlocks lumbered into the courtyard. They chittered amongst themselves, sniffing the air and looking around. Elaine hoped their Reaper-implants messed with their minds enough that they were not as accurate with detecting her as pure-Darkspawn used to be. The Hurlock at the back of the ground dragged behind him an Asari Commando, pulling her by the arm and throwing her down. It was only when the body gave a pathetic cry of pain that Elaine realised with horror that she was still alive!

Abruptly, the Darkspawn turned and hissed, shuffling away as another creature came into the courtyard from the shadows. It stood a good seven feet tall, humanoid and skeletal in appearance yet pot-bellied to the point its grey skin looked distorted. Its hands and arms were fused with metal, its wide eyes burning a mechanical blue. Its wide mouth hung open, the flesh of the cheeks ripped away. The back of its head was a tangle of interweaving spikes.

Shepard gaped in horror. "Is that – or _was that_ – an Asari?"

"It would appear that asari has undergone Reaper conversion." EDI answered quietly. "We will have to inform Asari High-Command."

"But why have they not turned those commandos?"

"Because the Darkspawn want them." Elaine answered darkly. As if to prove her point, the Hurlocks pulled the Commando away from the Reaper-turned-Asari, like dogs jealously guarding a scrap of meat on a bone. Even though the Commando pleaded and cried, it fell on deaf ears as one of the Hurlocks grabbed her head and forced her mouth open. Another straddled her, and after a few heaves, vomited purple and black goo into her mouth. The Asari choked and gagged, by the Darkspawn holding her sealed her mouth shut, forcing her to swallow. "No doubt they're taking them as Broodmothers."

"Who's to say those Reaper-Asari aren't Broodmothers?" asked Shepard.

She gave him a look. "Does that look like anything we saw back on Utukku?"

"Okay, but then why not turn every Asari here into a Broodmother? An all female race would be perfect for them."

"The Ardat Yakshi are infertile, Shepard." EDI pointed out. "It would stand to reason that the Darkspawn have need of a female capable of bearing offspring in order to convert into a Broodmother."

The Reaper-Asari hissed, seeming to grow impatient with the Hurlocks and let off a scream that had the ground-team covering their ears. At least they now knew who made that horrible noise. It reached its claws out to snatch hold of the Commando, biotic power sizzling along its body, ready to crush its victim. But before it could, the Hurlocks dragged their prisoner away, brandishing their weapons and roaring defiantly at the Reaper-Asari. The two factions faced off in a way that Elaine had not expected, roaring and screeching at each other. The Hurlock took the first swing, slicing into the Reaper-Asari's arm. Mechanical blood spurted and the Reaper-Asari screeched and recoiled. She drew back, face contorted with hate and rage, clearly wanting to destroy them but holding back.

"It would seem there is infighting amongst the Reapers ranks," muttered Javik. Elaine expected him to look smug, but instead he only seemed disdainful. "Good. One less for them is a victory for us."

"You don't think it's a little weird that they're fighting at all?" asked Shepard. "They're supposed to all be mindless slaves to the Reapers."

Elaine mused aloud, "Perhaps the Reapers' control of the Darkspawn isn't as strong as they would have us believe…"

The Darkspawn and the Asari-Reaper continued to face off against each other. With them distracted, Elaine snuck them past the confrontation, leading the group in a wide circle around the Courtyard to reach the door. They slipped inside, and EDI did quick work locking it behind them so that the monsters couldn't attack from the rear.

Rounding the corner, Elaine once again heard the flare of Biotics. She skidded to a halt at what she found. A Cannibal lay dead on the floor, ripped in half from a Biotic blast. Samara stood tall and poised. Behind her, was a small Asari, her face decorated in tattoos that resembled freckles to Elaine. There were no similarities between the two Asari except for one: the same moon-like eyes.

"Mother! You came!" cried the little Asari, tears of relief in her eyes.

"As soon as I was able." Said Samara. Upon noticing their audience, she ushered the smaller Asari towards them. "Shepard, Elaine. This is Falere, my youngest. She and–"

"Mother!" cried Samara's daughter, clinging to the Justicar's arm in desperation. "They have Rila!"

For the first time that day, Elaine saw Samara's composure slip for a fraction of a second. "What?"

"I saw some of those creatures take her into the Great Hall. I've been trying to get there." Said Falere.

Shepard stepped forward. "What are the Reapers doing here?"

"Harvesting us." Falere huddled into herself, twisting her hands as horror filled her voice. "They took the Commandos and keep doing… _things_ to them! But us? They're turning us into those… monsters! You can't let that happen to Rila!"

EDI's head tilted. "Asari High-Command believed the Ardat-Yakshi mutinied, causing the attack."

Falere looked both shocked and offended. "This is our home! We would never… This is the only place where we can achieve peace."

"I vouch for Falere's word, Shepard – with pride." Said Samara.

Behind the Justicar's back, Falere hid a small smile, as if she'd been waiting to hear those words all her life. Elaine felt her world shift underneath her. On the one hand she distrusted the Ardat-Yakshi on principle. On the other hand, Falere was so earnest, so non-threatening, like a child, it was hard to think of her as a relation to the cold-blooded killer that was Morinth.

"I'm sorry." Said Shepard. "But your sister's gone. There's a bomb in the Great Hall and I'm setting it off."

Falere stared, horrified. "But didn't you come to rescue us?"

Elaine stepped forward, reaching out to automatically comfort her but checking herself at the last moment. "Falere, the Darkspawn are turning the commandos into Broodmothers. I don't want to agree with blowing up a monastery full of people, but we need to stop this. And you are the only survivor."

"No, I'm not! Rila is still alive!"

"Even if she is," Shepard argued, "this place still needs to be destroyed. It's a liability."

"A liability?! My friends have been killed! Turned into–"

She stopped, seeing that there was no point arguing. The conviction in the commander and his crew was obvious. Scowling, she turned and flund herself over the railing of the balcony.

"Falere!" Samara shouted. They all rushed to the railing and looked over. Instead of seeing Falere splattered on the concrete below, they found her floating in a field of biotics down to the floor safely. Samara wasted no time and followed her daughter. "To the Great Hall, Commander! Please be swift."

Elaine ran with Shepard through the remaining corridors, jumping down flights of stairs and dashing through the last doors. Finally, they reached the Great Hall, and Elaine recognised that it was aptly named. It more resembled a temple or a lord's throne room than a room in a monastery. As she stepped in, Elaine could feel the wretchedness of the taint, but the room held so many shadows, she couldn't see where it was coming from. In the centre of the room, she could see a cluster of boxes and barrels, and EDI quietly confirmed it as the bomb. Beside it, lay the slumped body of an Asari. Falere was knelt over her, trying to shake her awake, Samara stood over them both, frozen.

As Shepard and the others approached, they made it in time to see the asari on the floor, pale in her skin-tone and tattoos, stir. She opened her eyes only to look upon her sister with nothing but robotic-hate inside black eyes. She launched herself at Falere, wrapping her hands around her beloved sister's throat.

"Rila!" Falere choked. Biotics aiding her, Samara leapt in to defend her daughter, and pushed Rila back. She fell to the floor in an exhausted heap. Tears streamed down Falere's face as she clung to her mother. "Why would she do that?"

"She is lost to the Reapers." Said Javik. "Conversion has already begun."

"Elaine…" called EDI slowly, hesitantly.

The Warden looked up to where her friend pointed. Slowly, she came forward. From the light shining in her armour, it penetrated the darkness. And Elaine's mouth fell open, her stomach roiled.

All along the wall, tendrils of darkness and fleshy growth spread like the manifestation of a disease. In the corner of it all, was a Broodmother. Her belly was swelled to the point her blue-brown skin looked ready to tear. Tentacles grew out of her body that seemed to have melded with the environment and corruption around her. Her head rolled on a fat neck, lips diminished to nothing over sharp serated teeth. The crown of spikes at the back of her head was the only indication that she used to be Asari.

"Maker's Breath…" Elaine hissed. She heard a moan, and spun. Her light illuminated all along the wall, and she found other Asari – all of them in various stages of being turned into Broodmothers. Twitsting to look at the other end of the room, she found more of them on the opposite side. No wonder Elaine had ben unable to tell where the Darkspawn taint lay – it was everywhere!

This one in the corner seemed to be the only one to have reached the full potential of a Broodmother. Black blood dripped from her eyes, and she snarled at the intruders on her nest, more black blood dribbling down her chin where her tongue had been ripped out of her mouth. The asari-Broodmother rubbed her plump hand over her sagging double pairs of breasts to her stretched belly, where the skin squirmed as if something were trying to claw it's way free.

"Shepard–!"

Too late. With a roar, the child inside the Broodmother ripped its way free of the womb, tearing skin and coming into the world in a fountain of black blood and yellow gunk. The Broodmother gave a screech of agony, and then went limp, falling silent and dying immediately. The creature she had spawned looked at the carcass of its mother with something like repulsion on its twisted face. Its spine was twisted and hunched, the spines exaggerated and sticking out like spikes. Its face was contorted to more resemble an animal, with a massive underbite which meant its overly large fangs jutted up its face like a boar. Red eyes blazed wide, overly large hands with long claws and wicked spurs sticking out of its wrists were brandished. The creature's face split apart, its jaw completely parting wide to reveal a long tongue that lashed out in front of it like a whip. It roared.

Elaine and EDI backed up quickly to get away from the Spawn as it charged them. Shots rang out as Shepard and Javik and Samara gave them cover fire. The Spawn ducked and dashed on all fours, scuttling like an insect along the ground and up vertical walls with the ease of a spider. It leapt at the party, who all dove in separate directions to get away from it. Preying upon their confusion, the Spawn lashed out its tongue to wrap arounr Rila's ankle and began to drag her back, snarling hungrily. Falere screamed and pulled on her sister's body, fighting for control of it. The Spawn hissed and twisted to drive its wrist-spurs into Falere's eye –

Samara flew by Falere with the speed of a falling star to crash into the spawn in an explosion of biotic blue light. The spawn was thrown back across the room, landing in a heap. It got back up in an instant, however, shrugging off the effets of the biotics as if it were nothing more than a breeze. It got ready to charge, when several things happened at once: Shepard let off several shots, one of which hit the Spawn in the shoulder. EDI sent a crackle of electricity with an overload that zapped and burned the Spawn's flesh. Javik hit it with his green biotics as Samara hit it with her blue, the two forces exploding upon interacting with each other. The Spawn fell to the ground, wounded and nearly ripped limb from limb. Yet it shook its head, merely dazed. Before it could gain full control of its senses, Elaine dashed in and with a sweep of her sword, beheaded it.

The whole room breathed a sigh of relief and stared at each other, disturbed. And then, around the room, they heard the moans and guttural hisses of the other asari-Broodmothers. One by one, they let off a terrible shriek. From above, Elaine felt a burn fire up along the edges of her mind as she could feel the Darkspawn working their way through the monastery, closing in.

"Shepard," called EDI, "the bomb requires a detonator. I cannot find the one provided by the Commandos."

"I… I have it…"

Everyone looked to the body on the floor. Rila's grunted in pain and opened her eyes – revealing them to be the same as her mother's and sister's. In her hand she held a small cylindrical device with a button on the top. Falere immediately fell beside her sister and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Oh, Rila!"

"They got into my head, Falere…" she whispered brokenly. "I can't keep them out. Their teeth are at my ears. Fingers on my spine…"

"Don't worry. We'll get you help–"

Somewhere close by they heard the shriek of the Reaper-asari. And then came the roar of Darkspawn and the thunder of their feet as they raced towards the Great Hall. All around the edges of the Hall, the broodmothers grew more and more agitated.

Elaine grabbed hold of the Commander's shoulder and shook him back to the task. "Shepard! These Asari will soon turn from the Taint! And those… those _Banshees_ will soon be upon us!"

It was not a welcomed choice, they realised when they looked back at the two sisters, one refusing to leave her sister, the other indoctrinated and weak. With a curt nod, Shepard grabbed hold of Falere and threw her over his shoulder. She screeched in surprise. When she realised that he was suddenly carrying her away from her sister, she started to thrash like a wildcat.

"Rila, no!"

"Falere…" Rila tried to give her little sister a brave smile, even though it trembled. "Go. You have to go. Now."

"But, Rila, I…" again, Falere fought, but Shepard kept a tight hold on her. Elaine looked at Rila, and nodded to her in deep respect. Samara was frozen to the spot as she stared at Rila, before turning away slowly, as if to do so was tearing off her skin to do so. Rila slumped against the bomb and held the detonator in her hands. Falere reached for her sister and screamed. "NO! RILA!"

At the end of the Great Hall was the elevator the group hadn't been able to call upon when they first arrived. They all piled in, Shepard throwing Falere to Javik as he came in and slamming the doors closed when Samara was the last to enter. The last they saw of Rila was her pale face, fighting her eyes to turn all black once again, tears streaming down her face. Then the doors closed.

Falere broke free from Javik and slammed herself against the door, as if she could force them open. The elevator whirled furiously and Elaine felt her stomach dip as the force of gravity pushed down on them when the elevator sped up to get them back to the top. She watched the lights on the wall count down to indicate their level –

 _BOOM!_

* * *

Thankfully, the elevator had reached the surface by the time of the explosion. Shepard and the others forced open the doors, and the lot of them stumbled into the open air. Elaine staggered and turned, and saw the mountain itself behind them was on fire, smoke billowing into the night sky. Uncertain, she stretched her senses to try and see if she could feel even an echo of the taint. But there was nothing. She closed her eyes, resigned. The mission was a success, but it felt hollow.

"Rila… there wasn't even time to say goodbye." She heard Falere whisper in misery. The Warden turned to watch the young asari fall to her knees in the settling snow and ash. Samara stared, unsure of how to proceed. She knelt beside her daughter, her hand reached out to touch her shoulder in comfort. Sensing her close, Falere whirled around and snarled up at her mother: "You left her to die!"

Samara recoiled from her daughter's fury, from the tears soaking her cheeks. Slowly, she stood, no longer looking regal. Instead, she seemed quietly panicked. Turning away from Falere, her voice was cold, emotionless. "Rila made her choice. And it has reminded me of what is truly important. Why I swore I would lay down my life." From her belt, Samara drew out her pistol. Still knelt on the ground, Falere shivered. Samara turned to regard her daughter. "Falere, the Code demands that an Ardat-Yakshi cannot live outside a monastery that no longer exists."

Elaine felt her heart sink into her toes. She dashed in front of Falere. "Samara!"

"I'm sorry, Elaine," the Warden grew confused at the look in Samara's eyes. She didn't seem to be resigned or sorrowful the way she would if she were to kill her child. "By the Justicar's Code… there is only one way to save Falere."

The penny dropped and Elaine acted before she could think. She threw her shield at Samara, the metal colliding with her arm and smacking the pistol out of her hand with a painful jerk. Samara cried out, but then Elaine was upon her. The Warden grabbed her arms and held them behind her back.

"Let go." Growled Samara.

"No." when the Justicar attempted to fight free, Elaine wrapped her arms around Samara's pressing her face into the Justicar's shoulder. "Rip me in half with those biotics if you want! But I can't watch you die!"

"I won't kill my last daughter!"

"And I'm not letting Falere see this! I watched my mother meet her end and it nearly tore me apart – I will not let her suffer the same grief!"

"I'll stay here!" cried a voice. The pair of them stared at Falere as the girl shakily got to her feet. Tears of fear, of pleading, now fell from her eyes. "I can stay here, rebuild something. If everyone believes this place is destroyed, no one can betray my secret to the Reapers. This is my home – no matter what has become of it. I could've left at any time. I don't need a building to honour my own code. And _if_ the Reapers do return, they won't take me alive! I promise."

The Warden and Justicar stared and then looked to each other, and then to Shepard. Slowly, Elaine let Samara go, and the asari stood tall and fixatedly on her daughter. She seemed to look internally for a moment, as if searching her thousand-year memory. And then… she smiled. "Then… the Code permits you to stay, as you are."

Falere threw herself at her mother, wrapping her arms around her. Samara hesitated, clearly unsure of what to do. Then carefully, returned the embrace. Elaine felt a hand touched her shoulder and turned to find Shepard at her side. He nodded to her in respect. She smiled.

"Thank you, both of you." Said Samara as she came to them. "Once I have spoken with Falere, I will join your forces, as a Justicar should. If you'll have me, of course."

Shepard held out his hand, which Samara gladly shook. "I'd be honoured."

"The honour is mine, my friends."


	22. The Date

**Author's Note: I had a load of fun with this chapter - the banter between the Normandy crew is just the best!**

 **Also, there is a section of this chapter rated "M".**

* * *

"So, you two just happened to find each other tracking down the same Volus Ambassador?" asked Garrus disbelievingly. Though he wasn't sure why it seemed so far fetched – weirder things had happened to Shepard.

The Commander looked over at Zaeed, and the two shared a shrug. "Pretty much."

"And what did he have to say for himself?" asked Vega as he lined up the shot.

"Cerberus is going after a Turian calony called Aephus. They want it for their shipyards."

 _BANG!_ Vega quickly looked at his target, only to find he'd been about an inch off the bullseye. " _Mierda!"_ he swore.

After the trouble at the monestary, the Normandy had been called back to the Citadel in order to drop Samara off and because Hackett had ordered the ship to undergo maintenance. He argued that as the flagship for the war effort, the Normandy needed to be in top condition. Garrus could tell this irked Shepard, because they were needed out in the war. The business with the Volus Ambassador had been a stroke of luck to occupy Shepard's time. The Normandy wasn't due to be finished until tomorrow morning. So, to pass the time, Garrus had suggested to Shepard they gather the guys together and go down to the shooting-range. It had quickly turned into a competition. Joker was referee as he couldn't hold a sniper-rifle without the recoil breaking his collarbone. Javik refused to take part, but still skulked in the shadows. Cortez had been the first eliminated, and now Vega followed suit.

"Step aside, kids," Zaeed said gruffly as he took up aim. "I've been doing this since all you bastards were fucking shitting your nappies."

Javik scoffed. "I doubt that."

 _BANG!_ Zaeed's mark hit dead centre. The veteran turned to grin smugly at the lot of them. "And that is how it's fucking done."

With only Shepard, Garrus and Zaeed now in the running, they decided to mix it up a little. Shepard keyed in some commands on the console, and the computer had their target move around. Joker took a swig from the beer bottle Vega had handed him. "You know what? Despite all the imminent doom of the whole galaxy hanging over our heads, this is kind of nice."

"Yeah," nodded Cortez. "Just hanging out, having a good time, forgetting for a little while…"

"Hey! You know what we should do?" Joker exclaimed excitedly. "We should have a guys night! You know, go out on the town, see a few strip clubs, maybe trash the casino?"

 _BANG!_ Garrus hit the mark perfectly. "Sorry, can't make that, Elaine and I have got our… date."

Vega whistled low with a grin. "Hey-hey-hey! You in for some fun tonight, huh Garrus?"

Garrus nervous scratched the back of his neck, suddenly feeling warm under his armour. "Well, I don't even know what to do. What do humans usually do on a date?"

Vega shrugged. "I don't know man. I stopped fraternising when I joined the military."

Joker spat out his drink. " _PPPPFFFFTTT!_ Y-You're shitting me! Mr muscle flirts-with-anything-that-moves is all _talk?!"_

"Relationships and duty don't mix with me, man."

"EDI and I are thinking of goin' up to Purgatory Bar. Might even bust a move."

Javik rolled his eyes. "Your affiliation with that machine is unnatural."

Cortez took a long swig of his drink. "Robert was the one to ask me out," he said quietly. "I expected he'd take me to a restaurant, but instead, he took me to an arcade. We played on the slot machines for two hours. Felt like a dumb teenager again. Was one of the best nights of my life."

Vega clapped his hand on Cortez's shoulder and gave him a comforting squeeze.

"After the Battle of the Citadel," said Shepard. "I took Liara on a little date. Everything seemed so much easier, back then. I mean, I still love her, but now it's like I gotta tear Liara away from being the Shadow Broker if I wanna take her out."

"Women and their jobs…" sighed Garrus.

They all nodded.

Zaeed looked between the lot of them, and then gruffly cleared his throats. "Look, lads, you lot are losing your touch! Are you men or what? Let's get on with this fucking game!"

The lot of them briskly nodded and took swigs from their beers. Shepard hurriedly went to shoot and caught the bullseye dead centre. The lot of them grunted in approval. Zaeed then stepped up to take his shot.

Garrus attempted to keep his mouth shut. But the more he thought about tonight, the more he fidgeted with nerves. Behind Zaeed's back, he leant towards Shepard and asked: "But, like, what did you do with Liara? How did you know she'd like it?"

"Was a guess," the commander shrugged. "Women liked to be wined and dined, swept off their feet, dancing, and all that shit. I just went with my gut. And–"

"Fuck this." Zaeed suddenly growled. Putting away his gun, he turned on his heel and stalked out off. "Call me when the lot of you grow a pair of bollocks!"

The group watched him leave, brows raised. They looked to each other in confusion, as if to say _what's his problem?_ Javik then took that opportunity to leave as well, muttering _primities and their mating habbits_. The remaining members of the group shrugged nonchalantly.

"Looks like it's just you and me, Commander." Said Garrus.

"My money's on Garrus," said Cortez.

"Nah," Joker shook his head. "Never bet against the Commander!"

Garrus chuckled. "Like he stands a chance." At Shepard's look, Garrus smirked. "Not saying you don't know how to handle a gun, just saying that some of us know how to make it dance."

"There are a few people in the galaxy who've seen me in action, Garrus," said Shepard. "They seemed impressed."

"Yeah, but I've actually seen you dance, Shepard. No comment."

The others sniggered. Shepard bit his cheek to keep himself from laughing with them. "Alright, Vakarian. You're going down."

Cortez keyed in the command to the console to set it at the highest difficulty. Garrus lined up his shot through the scope, controlling his breathing as he steadied himself and waited for his target to enter his sights. He pulled the trigger the group strained to see the result… a perfect shot. Vega drummed his hands on the wall and Joker kept whipering encouragement as Shepard took up position. The Commander paused and glanced over at Garrus. Then, he took his shot… and missed.

Garrus threw his arms into the air. "I'm Garrus Vakarian, and this is now my favourite spot on the Citadel!" Cortez crowed with him, Joker looked baffled, and Vega was doubled over laughing at his misfortune. "Think I'm going to erect a monument – right here! Bronze this gun so the whole galaxy knows."

Shepard grinned, unable to help himself laughing along.

* * *

A few hours later, Garrus waited, pulling at the collar of the suit he'd hastily bought. It was plain black and white, nothing too fancy, but still smart. He hoped. Was this right? Would she think it too much? Or worse, not enough? He checked the time and then called up the message he'd sent Elaine. He'd told her to meet him on the Silersun-Strip at 8pm. Still three minuets to go.

 _This is ridiculous,_ he scolded himself, _relax! You wanted this!_ Except now he was regretting it. Why did he have to stick his mandibles in something that didn't need to be messed with? He and Elaine had been getting on fine – better than fine! But what if now he completely screwed up this date and she started to have doubts? There was a terrible panic in his heart at the thought.

Winding himself up, getting more nervous by the second, Garrus almost missed when Elaine walked in. Black heels shaped her long and toned legs that peeked out from the slit in her ankle-length dress. The skirt was free flowing but hugged her hips; it split into strips of fabric the wrapped diagonally up hr torso to cover her breasts and cross again over her back. It left her arms, shoulders and waist tantalisingly bare. Her blonde hair was piled up on her head, long earings dangling on either side of her throat. As she strolled up to him, she moved through the light, and Garrus felt his mouth go dry when he realised the dress was the exact same shade of blue as his tatoos…

"Hi…" was all he could manage to mumble out – it was hard to form words when his mandibles were nearly on the floor.

She smiled, ducking her head almost shyly. "Hello there."

His shock morphed into a grin. He held out his arm. "Can I escort you, my lady?"

Grinning, she took his arm and he led her through to the resteraunt. The pair of them sat down and took their orders. Only a couple of people stared. Whilst humans and turians were at peace, the sight of a romantic couple was still odd to some. Most ignored them, and to them Garrus was grateful. A pair of female turians, two friends out to dinner, were the ones who really stared, eyeing him up as he and Elaine received their drinks. A year ago, Garrus would've been flattered. Now, it only annoyed him.

"Um, you look, nice. I mean, really nice." Garrus mumbled.

"You think so? Traynor helped me get ready." A mischievous glint twinkled in her eye. "What would you be expecting if I were a Turian?"

"Well if you were a Turian, I'd be complimenting your waist or your fringe… So, your, um, hair looks good. And your waist…" he couldn't get a good look at it from where she sat at the table, but just imagining it when she walked in… "Your waist is very supportive."

Elaine arched a brow. Garrus panicked for a moment to think if that might be offensive to humans or not. It was at times like these that he wished he'd kept his visor on. He felt blind not being able to read her heart rate or heat levels to guess at her mood.

"So, this is how courting is done in the modern world," Elaine said, looking around the restaurant. "Do you eat here often? I'm quite looking forward to it."

"Well, not really," he admitted, his mouth running away with him before his brain could catch up. "I used to come to this strip in my C-Sec days, but this place is fairly new. From what I hear, it's alright – scenery's not bad either."

His gaze had wandered around the resteraunt as he spoke. He noted the fish tanks and the sleek décor in order to make the place seem more upperclass than its prices would have you believe. But as he had looked around, his gaze had landed on the two turian females a few tables over. One of them was still staring at him, her gaze hooded, her head tilted back in invitation. Garrus frowned, puzzled at how blatant she was being. However, he didn't look away in time before Elaine followed his gaze and saw the other woman. Her brow creased, confused hurt in her eyes.

Garrus panicked. "N-No! That's not what I meant! I, um, I mean –" he tried his best to save himself, but all that came out of his mouth was: "Well, the view in front of me is even better… You know that I – oh spirits!"

He his his face in his hand, mortified at his own behaviour. Elaine watched him carefully, blinking her big icy eyes and saying nothing.

Doing away with caution, Garrus downed his Turian whiskey for liquid courage, and decided to be brutally honest. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to go this badly. I just… I was nervous – don't ask me why; I don't know! I've never done this, not really, and I wanted it to be perfect and…"

A cool slender hand slipped into his on the table and squeezed his fingers. Garrus looked up at Elaine, to find her leaning towards him, a gentle smile on her face. "Garrus, don't be nervous. It's still me." She then leant fully across the table and placed a small kiss on his mouth-plates. Stupidly, it took Garrus a moment to respond, before fully reciprocating, sliding his tongue along her lips. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted the female huff grumpily before hurrying along her friend to leave. Elaine broke the kiss, a smile on her face like she knew exactly what she did. "And you don't have to worry, we both know you're already scoring home-run after this… Though, I don't know what that means, exactly."

Garrus laughed.

* * *

For three hours they sat in that resteraunt. Their meals came and went, they laughed and drank, and the time ran away from them. Eventually, Garrus led Elaine out and across the street to the club. There, they danced – not like any of the other patrons around them. Instead, it was their own kind of dance, just like they did in Afterlife. Only this time, none of it was pretend or for the sake of the crowd. Elaine swayed seductively in his arms, fit her body against his, and Garrus desperately wanted the pair of them to be rid of their clothes…

It was midnight when Garrus led her out of the club and down to the end of the strip. He verified with the terminal his reciet of purchase on a rental skycar, and ushered Elaine inside. She excitedly – and perhaps a little tipsily – questioned him. All he would say was: "It's one last surprise."

He was sober enough to drive, not nearly over the limit just yet. But as he flew, he was acutely aware of Elaine in the seat beside him, her legs moving restlessly, the skirt of dress falling away little by little to reveal her bare, pale legs… "Why, Mr Vakarian," her tease snapped him out of his dirty thoughts, "are you trying to pick up where we left off on our first shuttle date?"

The invitation was there, he could hear it in her voice. For a fraction of a second, he deliberated pulling over into an alley and having his way with her. He was so _hungry_ for her body – he didn't know whether it was the atmosphere, the drink, or just _her!_ But, he refrained himself. Tonight was supposed to be perfect. He wouldn't ruin it just because he couldn't control his own addiction.

He parked the skycar on the top of the Presidium. "Ever have that one thing you always wanted to do before you died, Elaine?"

"Which time?" she scoffed. "What's your one thing."

"Back in C-Sec, I'd always look up to the top of the Presidium – where we are now," he said as he opened the Skycar and hurried round to her side. "I'd say to myself: I wanna go up there. But I never did. There were 137 regulations telling me I couldn't."

He reached down his hand to her to help her out of the car. "Did you change them, then?"

"Nope." He smirked. "Now, I just don't give a damn."

He showed her to the edge, where they could both see the glittering lights of shuttles and skycars, see the view of the Presidium laid out underneath them. Elaine took in a sharp breath, her eyes wide and sparkling in the light. Garrus couldn't really take in the view, he was too busy staring at the woman beside him. The shine of the lights on her skin, the curve of her lips as they fell open in awe. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her in against his side. She fit against him perfectly.

"This… this is wonderful, Garrus," she whispered reverently.

"I'd be lying if I said I hoped it didn't inspire a certain… mood…" he murmured. She tore her gaze away from the view to stare up at him expectantly. "Elaine…" he began slowly. "I know things haven't been exactly smooth for us. After everything that happened, it seemed like you needed time to… figure us out."

"I do appreciate you being patient with me," said Elaine. "I know I have not made things easy, for either of us. But knowing that you've been here…"

He clasped hold of her hand and kissed it. "I'll always be here. But Elaine, I want this to be official. Are you ready to be a one-turian kind of woman?"

Turning in his arms to fully face him, her body was pressed against his, her hands worming their way up to rest on either side of his neck. "I know exactly what I want, Garrus. I didn't think it possible, to love someone so much. But I do. I want you, I want this, I want _us_."

Garrus felt his heart was soaring in his chest. He ran his talons through her hair. "When I was on Palaven, I thought every day of you. I sent messages to earth, I even tried to throw what little political weigh I had to get to you. The only thing I could think about was what I'd do when I saw you, what I'd say – and how I'd never let you go again. And when the Reapers came… strangely, the worst part about the galaxy going to hell would be thinking I'd never get to see you again."

She pushed herself up on the very tips of her toes, her lips brushing his. "So long as it is within my power… you'll never lose me again."

Garrus closed the gap between them, catching her mouth with his in a sensual kiss. Her taste was on his tongue, her scent – sweet lillies – filled his nose. He pulled her against him, dipping her back so that she had to cling to his neck. He felt one of her legs ride up along his, her knee brushing his waist through the fabric. He groaned into her mouth.

Cursing their need to breathe, he pulled back, the pair of them panting. He could see her, eyes glossy with want, lips puckered and swollen with his kisses. "Maybe we should get back – the Normandy leaves in a few hours."

He could see her disappointment, but she still nodded, threading her fingers through his. "Of course."

Together they walked back to the skycar. They clambered in, and the doors and roof closed around them. But Garrus didn't turn the car on. He didn't do anything. Glaning across at the woman beside him, he found her staring back at him, leaning into her seat so that she was laid out like a banquet before him.

"You know what," he said at last. "Yeah. We're picking up where we left off."

The pair of themreached for eachother in a rush of arms and craning mouths. This kiss was not slow and gentle, this was rough and hard and filled with hunger and passion. Garrus found his talons in her hair, caressing her neck and shoulders, sliding down her body, cupping her bottocks. With a growl of her own, Elaine launched herself across the car so that she could clamber atop of Garrus, her legs spread to straddle him, her burning core pressed against him. Garrus moaned, but she devoured it as she kissed him again. Her hands massaged him under his fringe, her teeth nibbled at his mandibles.

Now he was getting _very_ fired up. Damn, this woman knew how to play him exactly. He had to touch her, had to taste her. It wasn't just desire, it was _need_. Blindly, her stroked his talons up her spine, making her arch her back, until he could reach the clasp of her dress at the nape of her neck. It fell undone, revealing her breasts to him, already at attention for him. With a growl, he descended onto the mounds of flesh, moulding them in his hands and sucking their peaks into his mouth. He ran his rough tongue across her nipples, lapping at her, swirling around them. Elaine gasped raggedly, her body undulating, stroking her core at the perfect point against his slit. He purred to her his approval. But when she reached down to touch his waist, to massage him, to squeeze him, the noise turned to a growl of want.

He let one hand abandon her breasts to fish beneath the folds of her skirt. He found her core expertly and pushed her panties aside. A stuttering squeal escaped her as he stroked her clit with his thumb, slowly at first. Forefinger trancing her lips, he teased the idea of entering her, just a little, before quickly withdrawing. Elaine panted, whispering to him encouragement, pressing her body onto his finger. Garrus led her own, enjoying her frustration as he continued to lick her breasts and tease her both inside and out.

"G-Garrus! Please– _please!_ "

Finally, he indulged her, and slipped in a finger to her wet folds. Elaine grunted, her body tensing around his finger, as if daring him to leave her. She ripped his head away from her breasts and plunged her tongue into his mouth. He leaned back to let her, kissing her back even as he thrust his finger in and out whilst his thumb continued to stroke her clit. He could tell in her breating that she was getting close, could feel it in the way her body squeezed his finger. In response, he built up his ministrations, rubbing her clit harder, driving his finger deeper. In just a few short thrusts, Elaine cried out, biting his mandible, as her walls constricted around his finger. Wetness coated his fingers. He purred in satisfaction.

Elaine kissed him as the last echoes of her orgasm faded. But then, abruptly, she slid away from him. He half-grunted, half-snarled; his arms felt robbed of her warmth. Resisting him, she grinned and slid between his legs to the floor. She pushed him wide to accommodate her, and quickly unzipped his pants. His plates had already moved aside, and his member was half emerged – already stoked as he was by their foreplay. Elaine looked at it and then looked at him. Slowly, she reached for it, and stroked him into her hand. Garrus knew this game, and so leant his head back, fists balling on the arms of his chair to keep himself from reaching for her. Little bursts of heat and zapping electricity shot through him with each of her touches to his cock. Soon enough, she'd fully drawn him out so that he was long and heavy in her palm. Grinning to herself, she lowered herself towards him, mouth opening to –

"W-wait-wait, E-Elaine!" Garrus stuttered, reaching forward to stop her. His body burned with desire, but some kind of common sense still prevailed in his foggy mind to alert him – even if most of him wanted to ignore it. "Y-you can't. It's not saf–"

"Nothing about you will hurt me," she whispered against his mouth plates, leaving a chaste kiss. "And I want to taste you…"

He was powerless to stop her as she slowly bent down and took him into her mouth.

Garrus' head thrust back against the seat. "Spirits!" he cried in a hoarse voice. Her mouth! So hot and wet and tight and _pulling_ on him! She ran her lips up and down the length of him, taking him in as far as she could, until the tip of him could feel the tight pressure of the back of her throat. And then he felt – _oh_ her tongue!

He dared to glance down. She was already watching him, her icy eyes reflecting back his own desire, triumphant and gloating as she watched his reactions. And whilst he watched, she began to pump her mouth up and down the length of him. Garrus couldn't help himself, and reached for her, tangling his talons in her hair, holding onto her as his hips gave small thrusts into her mouth. His eyes squeezed shut, trying to hold back the force that was rising in him. But, spirits, she fet so good – and the things she was doing…

With a hiss, he came, heard her sharp intake of breath as she tasted his seed. His heart was leaping about inside his chest. Once he finally floated back down to his body from where he'd been shot through to the heavens, he glanced down. Elaine was wiping her chin on the back of her hand. A speck of silver-blue liquid lingered at the corner of her mouth.

Gently, he reached for her and wiped it away with his thumb. "You okay?"

She smiled – _bless this woman!_ – she smiled dreamily at him. "Never better."

"Good." He pulled back into his arms and kissed her, from her mouth and down her neck. "Because I'm not finished with you yet."

* * *

Elaine giggled as she strolled down through the docking bays with Garrus, her fingers threaded through his. The pair of them had attempted to resettle their appearances, but she was certain their grins and blushes gave them away more than her dishevelled hair or Garrus' wrinkled clothes. She could still smell their sex on her skin, and it made her nether regions – already aching and sore – hum faintly.

Just beside their docking bay, they spotted a C-Sec officer. He was a turian, his plates a dark brown, his striped face-markings a bright orange. As soon as he spotted them he rushed towards them. Elaine frowned, a second-sense in her gut telling her something was off. The last remenants of heat left her flesh and she sobered quickly.

"Excuse me, ma'am," said the officer. "Are you Elaine Cousland?"

"Yes," she said. "May I help you?"

"You left your contact details with Huerta Memorial for a Krogan, named Urdnot Grunt?"

Despite the fact that she could feel Garrus was as tense as her, he still attempted to alleviate the atmosphere and chuckled. "What did he do, break out of hospital?"

The officer looked between the two of them, clearly uncertain. "We've been trying to get in contact with you all night. You'd better come quickly. The doctor's have been urgently asking for you."


	23. The Taint

**Author's Note: Sorry this is late guys, but busy work schedule, travelling, family, and me being introduced to "Star vs the Forces of Evil" caused me to manage my time very poorly this week. Hopefully I'll be back to normal schedule for next Monday.**

 **Please review!**

* * *

"What happened?!" Elaine shouted as she burst into the hospital.

Her heart had been in her throat throughout the entire journey. She lost count of the amount of times she asked the officer to speed up his flying carriage. Garrus was at her side, more concerned for her mental wellbeing but still stricken to get to the bottom of this. She seemed to be constantly on the verge of a panic attack, a shake in her hands and a hitch in her breath. After Thane's death, she had hoped to never return to this white-tiled mausoleum.

She'd kicked off her shoes back in the car, and now ran bare-foot, the skirt of her dress threatening to tangle around her ankles and trip her. Through the waiting room she charged, and latched onto the nearest doctor, a Salarian, nearly shaking him in her anxious desperation. "Grunt! The Krogan! Where is he, what happened, is he alright?!"

Garrus' talons wrapped around her wrists and gently pulled them free of the doctor's coat. The doctor, visibly disturbed by her tirade, attempted to compose himself. "I assume you must be Miss Cousland? If you'd like to follow me."

He led them through to the corridors beyond the waiting room. They were scanned, and then the doctor slowly escorted them through the bustle of doctors rushing to their patients, even at this time of night. Elaine bit her lip to prevent herself from shouting at the doctor to hurry. At her side, Garrus had not let go of one of her hands and offered her a reassuring squeeze.

"Grunt came in with several serious injuries – most of them internal," said the doctor as he led them to a door that had a strange yellow sign on the front. Elaine noticed how most of the other doctors and nurses gave this door a wide berth. "We fixed him up as best we could and trusted that his natural regenerating cells would do the rest. We expected him on his feet within a few days, but… he didn't seem to get any better."

"Is he not regerating at all?" asked Garrus.

The doctor looked lost for words. "He must be. You see, a few days ago, his condition all of a sudden took a turn for the worse. In truth… We called you here because… we don't know what we're dealing with. And we think you need to prepare yourselves."

He opened the door. And Elaine knew the problem the moment she laid eyes on the sleeping Krogan on the hospital bed.

A weak rumble echoed through the room as Grunt's breathing rattled in his lungs. An oxygen mask was strapped across his face, but even then, it looked as if he were struggling to get enough air in. He lay limp and lifeless except for the fluttering behind his eyelids as if he were in an intense dream. The veins in his neck bulged underneath his skin, stained black as if his blood were oil. His scaly hide, once a brilliant gold, was now a dull parchment yellow. But more than any visible indication, Elaine could feel the shadow in the room, the poison in the air, the tingle in her blood that threatened something evil was close by.

Biting back a sob, she fell into the vacant seat beside Grunt's bed. She pressed her hand to his face – it was cold and clammy yet he was sweating as if from a fever. Her other hand pressed against his chest to feel his heartbeat, even when she could hear it beeping sporadically from the monitor. A hand gently squeezed her shoulder in comfort, and Elaine felt a sting in the back of her eyes.

"I knew we should have been careful. I knew he shouldn't have done it!" she whispered brokenly. And then she said, louder, "It is Blight Sickness. He must've been infected by the taint when he fought the Darkspawn."

"But…" said Garrus hesitantly. "You've always said the Blight kills quickly. It's been a few weeks since we found the Nest, maybe it's not–"

"I _know_ what it is, Garrus. The poison is in his blood. I can feel it wanting to claim him."

The Salarian doctor stepped forward. "We noticed the high toxicity levels in his bloodstream, working like a venom to shut down his vital organs one by one. But his Krogan physiology is constantly attempting to heal itself. Though… it seems like a losing battle. He began to suffer halucinations and violent outbursts. We've had to heavily sedate him for both our safety and his own."

Elaine spun in her chair and latched hold of Garrus' suit, fingers like claws. "Garrus! You said modern medicine can work wonders! They have to help him!"

She knew it was a hopeless request. She already knew the only cure was to become a Grey Warden. Other than that, death was the only mercy. But still, some part of her wanted to believe, wanted to hope, anything to keep but the crushing weight of despair ready to hit her. Garrus looked helplessly from her to the doctor.

"We've already tried everything we can," said the Doctor gravely. "I'm afraid there's nothing left we can do. Grunt's suffering is only being extended the longer he lives. And if this is a plague, then we need to contain it. I… I wanted to ask your permission to terminate–"

"No!" Elaine shot back fiercely. It was completely selfish of her, but she needed time, to think, to plan, to _try_. "As advisor to the the Citadel Council on all things to do with the Blight, I am hereby using my authority: I order you to keep Grunt under heavy sedation and to keep him quarantined. The only hope now is that he can hold on until I can find a cure."

"Elaine," said Garrus gently, "You know there isn't–"

"I'm still going to try!"

Their omnitools bleeped at them, cutting their pending argument short. They both opened the message. Shepard was ordering them back to the Normandy – the ship was ready to leave and the colony of Aephus had just now sent out a distress signal. They needed to leave immediately.

Elaine glanced back at Grunt, torn. The thought of leaving him like this tore her apart with guilt; it felt like she was abandoning him. But at the same time, the thought of staying stuck in this room, watching him slowly die, tearing her hair out attempting to fix the impossible, she knew she would go mad. No answers would be found in this room. As much as it hurt to admit.

She turned to the doctor. "Minimise all contact with him. And never touch him skin to skin. But keep trying everything you can. I'll be back as I can. And… if there's no change in three days… k-kill him."

* * *

As quick as the Normandy was able to soar, they arrived at Aephus in record time. The Turian colony had been able to put up a mighty defence against Cerberus thanks to Shepard's early warning. But even then, they had sent out the distress call for assistance. A small Turian fleet had managed to arrive and even now battle Cerberus cruisers in the skies above the planet. Across the planet, a Reaper ship was busy harvesting the city, whilst they attempted to keep Cerberus away. The Aephus colonists was busy attempting to hold their own to keep Cerberus out of their shipyards.

Shepard landed with Elaine, Vega and Liara at his side. Garrus was busy back on the Normandy attempting to co-ordinate the attacks between the hierarchy fleet, the colony, and the Normandy. The four soldiers immediately got stuck into the battle, fighting alongside Turians to keep Cerberus at bay. Elaine relished the opportunity to destroy Cerberus soldiers, Starfang eager to slice them open from navel to collar or to cleave their heads from their shoulders. Yet even in the midst of the fight, her mind was elsewhere, constantly fretting back to a dilemma that seemed to have no answer. More than once it caused her a misstep which her opponents attempted to use to their advantage. A bullet would come too close or else a taser-baton would just miss her. It would always do the trick of shaking her back to the present.

The battle seemed to be going well. But Elaine couldn't help but feel that something was missing. The amount of Cerberus soldiers, the fire-power they had brought, the ships they had waiting in the wings – they could've given a bigger fight than this. It were as if they were playing the long game, holding back for something else… But what?

After hours of gruelling fighting, Elaine thought she heard something at the edges of her mind. A distant music, both beautiful and pure yet terrible and frightening. It wasn't the discordant song of the reapers nor the echo of the taint in Cerberus – it was _the song_ , the real music of the Blight. Her stomach dropped into her toes.

"Get clear!" she shouted, just moments before a shape burst out of the dense cloud cover with an almighty roar.

The Archdemon flew across the battlefield, its sickly hide glistening and gleaming in the search-lights reflected up at it from the ground. With a deep breath, the Archdemon expelled a terrible maelstrom of fire and magic. It struck the ships that had yet to be completed, half finished and vulnerable. The structures exploded, bursting with fire and sound that made Elaine's ears ring. Through the smoke and flames, the Archdemon flapped its wings and soared low, snatching up handfuls of colonists in both its mechanical hand and the one of flesh. It crushed them in its talons and flung their bodies to smash upon the ground from such a great height.

"By the Goddess!" yelled Liara over the cacophony. "Shepard! What do we do?!"

As Elaine watched the Archdemon fly over, wreaking destruction and death as it went, it must have felt her eyes on her. At an almost impossible angle, its head snapped in her direction so that its one milky eye and one blazing red eye could glare straight at her. That sense of dread intensified within her, the taint's whispers seeming to magnify under that evil gaze.

It knew she was here, could tell what she was. That made sense to Elaine. During the Fifth Blight, the Archdemon Urthemiel had known where to find her and Alistair based on following the taint and had sent assassins after them. The Archdemon knew only a Grey Warden could permanently kill them, and would attempt to prevent that at any cost.

Now, this one had found her. And with a twist of its body and a large flap of its wings it was shooting straight for her.

"Run!" she shouted to Shepard.

They went to leave, but realised Elaine wasn't following. Shepard twisted to try and snatch hold of her. "Whoa! What are you doing?!"

Elaine's response was unflinching. "I have to destroy it!"

The blood drained from his face. "But you said that means–"

"I have to, Shepard!"

Vega, oblivious to the unspoken meaning in the Commander and Warden's words, asked: "What can we do to help?"

"Ground it for me."

And with that, Elaine went sprinting across the battlefield. She could hear the dragon coming after her, roaring like a bloodhound baying for the kill. Adrenaline pumped through her veins, allowing her to ignore the burn in her lungs and pushing her onward to escape the death she could feel breathing down her neck. All around her, the ground began to move, to cave in as little tunnels burst up to the surface and Darkspawn began to climb out to take advantage of the chaos. Elaine sliced at them with her sword as she passed. Shoving aside Cerberus soldiers, she ran amongst them and away from the shipyards. There was a 'pop' in her ears, a pressure like heavy rainfall about to burst, and Elaine knew what was coming. She dove to the side, using her shield to absorb the impact and roll across the floor just seconds before purple fire consumed the spot where she had been.

Her roll took her underneath an abandoned Mako, where she hid in the shadows. The Archdemon might be able to sense where she was, but she needed to wait until it was grounded. The Mako might not offer complete protection – it could very easily explode on her – but in the confusion, it would keep her out of sight of the huge dragon.

A blast of sound rang across the battlefield like an airhorn. The field froze and looked up, only the sound of the Archdemon's wingbeats could be heard. Elaine peaked out from underneath the Mako to spot a Reaper hanging in the sky, its ominous shadow eclipsing what little light there was. Turian soldiers ran for cover, Cerberus slowly retreated, the Darkspawn were frozen, and the Archdemon… stared up at Reaper and growled.

The Reaper let loose another blast, as if it were calling out to the Archdemon. Was it not meant to be here? Was it signalling the dragon to attack something else? Whatever it was attempting to communicate, a spark and gitter began to convulse the Archdemon's mechanical parts – its robotic arm twitched and its red eye sparked. With a snarl, the dragon shook its head and… turned its back on the Reaper. It completely ignored its master, eyes searching the ground once again for Elaine.

Across the field, Elaine spotted Shepard and the others get into cover behind the wreck of a Cerberus Atlas, pulling out a missile-launcher from the dead fingers of a fallen Cerberus soldier.

The Reaper let loose another call, and the Archdemon bared its fangs in response. Elaine stared, open mouthed. She had questioned the amount of control the Reapers exerted over the Archdemon, but to see this defiance firsthand… she didn't know how to feel.

As if outraged by the dragon's audacity, the Reaper let off a high-pitched squealing sound, akin to a dog-whistle. Agonising hot pain surged through Elaine's blood. Immediately, she pressed her face into the dirt and screamed. Somewhere far off, she could hear the Archdemon, the Darkspawn themselves, scream along with her. The ground shuddered from the impact as the Archdemon was brought down from the sky and crumpled onto the floor, writhing in pain. Elaine felt herself share in this experience, wanting the same as the dragon to make this terrible feeling stop. There was a deafening howl inside her head, a music that was clashing on all the notes to make a discordant blast of protest. The agony was unbearable, the ringing inside her ears wouldn't stop! In the back of her screeching mind, she recognised this sensation – In the Collector Base. Harbinger had shown her he had weaponised the taint in her blood, and now the Reapers used it like a shock-collar to force their attack dog into submission.

Elaine managed to force her eyes open, to see through the dust and dirt and stare at the Archdemon that had landed not twenty feet away from her hiding spot. Baring its teeth in rage and hate, the Archdemon forced its shaking limbs to co-operate, to at least be able to crawl around to face its new foe. Opening its mouth wide, Elaine expected the usual purple flames to spew forth. But instead, a hum filled the air, and then red light burst out from between the dragon's teeth, similar to a Reaper's main cannon. Around the beam, purple flames crackled and surged with magic, creating a vortex of death that shot through the sky and hit the Reaper dead on.

The effect was immediate. The blast hit the Reaper and cleaved off one of its main legs, the explosion rocking the entire ship, the lights all along its front flashing on and off. Finally, the dreadful pain in Elaine's head disappeared. The Reaper shrieked, and dare Elaine think it, but the thing looked panicked as it tried to start its thrusters to return to the safety of the void of space. On the ground, the Darkspawn seemed frozen still, unable to decide which master to obey – their new augmented bodies would suggest the indoctrination of the Reapers would hold sway over them, but they were creatures made by magic, sustained by the Taint, over which the Archdemon was its sole master. But in this state, the Darkspawn appeared vulnerable, and Shepard and what little turians remained took advantage of their confusion and began to slaughter them.

Elaine's eyes snapped back to the Archdemon, still recuperating from the attack on its very essence. She would never get a better chance. Scrambling out from under the Mako, Elaine ran for the dragon, unsheathing her sword as she went. She would catch it unawares, sink her blade into its skull as she did with Urthemiel and end this Blight! A fleeting image of Garrus, grieving over her lifeless corpse, came to her mind. She would hurt him by doing this. But there was no other way. This was the purpose of the Grey Wardens. As her blade came down, she sent a silent prayer that he forgive–

The Archdemon noticed her at the last moment, and tried to pull its head out of her way. Instead of skull and brain-matter, Starfang pierced through the fleshy hide of the side of the Archdemon's neck. Blood immediately coated her sword and splashed the front of her armour. The Archdemon roared in pain, but it was not a fatal blow, not even an incapacitating one. In retaliation, the Archdemon smacked her away with the back of its talon.

Elaine felt at least two ribs snap from that impact alone. She didn't even have time to cry out as she was sent flying, hitting the ground and dislocating her arm when she rolled uncontrollably. When her body finally stopped, she could only wheeze for breath, pain beginning to engulf her body piece by piece.

The Archdemon loomed above her, its foul jaws parted wide as if to devour her whole. Death, plague, corruption and decay lingered on its breath. With eyes ablaze it came for her –

A net sprang from nowhere and closed over the Archdemon's mouth, sealing it shut, electricity sparking along the wires of the net. The dragon yelped and shook itself like a dog, talons scratching at its muzzle to get free, its cries of pain from the electicutions muffled by its closed mouth. A spear was launched as if from a catapault and punctured through the Archdemon's mechanical wrist. A chain was attached to the end, and Elaine followed it to see that it was secured to a Mako that was roaring its engines, wheels spinning in an attempt just to keep the Archdemon still. From the opposite direction, another spear was launched into the dragon's opposite shoulder. Cerberus soldiers began to swarm in, long cattle prods striking at the Archdemon, others wielding dart guns that soon dotted the dragon's scaly hide. Foot soldiers scrambled around the Archdemon's struggling feet, several crushed under its talons, but some still managing to wrap chains around its ankles and bind them tight together. A second, much larger net was thrown over the dragon's wings, pinning them down to its back.

From above, the sound of a ship hummed as a ship bigger than the Normandy soared low, presenting its rear to the battlefield and a ramp opening wide into its cargo bay. Several teams of Atlas-mechs ran out and grabbed hold of the chains and began to pull on them like fishermen reeling in a catch. The archdemon was dragged along the ground towards the belly of the ship. It attempted to scream out, but its jaws were still tightly closed. With so many tranquilisers, its movements began to grow sluggish, even if it tried to still put up as much of a fight as it could.

The tail went into the ship. Elaine felt her blood run cold. No, she couldn't let them take it! Even when her right arm hung uselessly at her side, she tried to grab hold of her sword in her left, and stagger to her feet.

The back legs and flanks were soon swallowed away into the ship. Elaine's broken ribs screamed at her as she tried to get up. Who knows what Cerberus would do with an Archdemon in their clutches! It couldn't be allowed.

The wings, shoulders and talons disappeared. Cerberus began to call back in their troops who raced for the ship, those who could helping to grab a chain or wire and assist in wrestling the dragon into control. Elaine limped as she staggered after them, desperate to reach them in time.

The doors closed as the Archdemon's head was squashed into the cargo-bay of the ship. Nearly a third of the Cerberus forces still remained on the ground. But with their prize in hand, Cerberus took advantage of the distracted Turians and Normandy crew busy dealing with the Darkspawn, and the ships in the air kept the turian military at bay. With a surge to the engines, the ship went zooming away off of the planet and into the stars.

"No!" Elaine screamed, falling to her knees when they refused to keep her standing a second longer. She had failed. She had not killed the Archdemon, and now it was gone. And in Cerberus hands. But… what could that mean?


	24. The Hard Truth

**Author's Note: Sorry this chapter is quite short - but you know how it is when I want dramatic tension ;) Hopefully we'll be back to normal-length chapters soon.**

 **Please don't forget to review - I live for your feedback!**

* * *

The shake in her knees wouldn't dissipate, even when Chakwas had given her an injection to help relax her, to try and clear the shock. The doctor worked for the best part of an hour setting Elaine's ribs in place before hooking her up to a machine to help them heal. She'd be out of commission for at least a few days – but in the back of her mind Elaine was once again amazed by the magic of modern medicern to cure her so quickly of an injury that should've taken weeks naturally. Her arm was put back in its socket and her various scrapes and cuts were patched up with medigel. Elaine was tense and not talkative throughout the experience. She trusted Chakwas, was grateful to her, but her new fear of hospital rooms and doctors still would not leave her.

There were also other reasons for her silence. Her mind was a turmultuous sea of thoughts and worries. The Archdemon was gone. Kidnapped. Taken. An evil had been taken out of the war. Whilst this should have been cause for celebration, Elaine was nauseous as her mind spun the possibilities of what this could mean. Cerberus had the Archdemon, a god-like being, head of all the Darkspawn, it was now in their hands. What were they planning to do with it? Most certainly nothing good – they had already infected their soldiers with the taint, so were they trying to add another element to their experiment? No matter the answer, the Warden knew nothing good would come of this, she could feel it in her bones.

The doors to the medbay folded apart to open with a soft hiss of air. Elaine glanced over, and immediately shrank in her bed. Garrus stormed into the medbay, his sky-blue eyes ablaze with anger, his talons clenched into fists at his sides. It must've been a trick of the overhead lights, but somehow Elaine thought her lover's fangs looked all the more prominent right now.

"Mr Vakarian," said Chakwas, her brows drawing down as if she too could easily see the tension in Garrus waiting to explode. "What are you–"

"Chakwas, I have great respect for you," though his words were cordial, the Turian spoke through a tightly clenched jaw. "But I'm going to have to ask you to leave now, please. I need to have a talk with Miss Cousland."

Chakwas blinked, shocked at the audacity. She was such a motherly figure, she deemed any patient of hers to be under her protection and would guard them from any peril – even from the Commander himself. The good doctor opened her mouth to argue, but Elaine politely cleared her throat. She nodded to Chakwas, and though she was hesitant, the doctor nodded and slowly made her way out of the room. Even when the doors closed behind her, Garrus didn't speak. He just stood there glaring murderously at the floor, his hands still tightly clenched.

Elaine couldn't stand the silence. "Garrus, I–"

"You don't get to speak." He snapped quietly. "I can't listen to you bleat excuses at me, otherwise I might just blow a hole in the hull."

She sighed. "Shepard told you, then."

"Yeah." He finally lifted his gaze to her as she sat up on her bed. Elaine wished she didn't feel so rotten at the hurt that lingered amongst his outrage. "He told me exactly what you planned to do on Aephus. That you wanted to kill yourself–"

"I wanted to kill the Archdemon, to end the Blight–"

Garrus' hand lashed out and slapped off a load of datapads from Chakwas' desk onto the floor. "That's the same damn thing! _The Grey Warden who slays the Archdemon must die_. Those were your words. Give your life to slay the dragon. And you were going to do it. Without hesitation, without thought."

"Of course I hesistated!" Elaine finally yelled back, her own temper (more at the situation than at him) flared. "If I hadn't, this would all be over, already! We wouldn't be having this conversation!"

"I can't believe you. Can't _believe you!"_ his pressed his talons to his eyes pacing back and forth across the medbay restlessly. "After everything, you just want to throw your life away?"

"You know that's not true. But Garrus, I am a _Grey Warden!_ This is my duty, the sole reason for having this taint in my veins. If I kill the Archdemon, our problems are cut in half. Planets will not die from the taint, the darkspawn will become disorganised beasts – the Reapers creatures are infected with the taint, we could very well take them out with it! Giving us a chance to win this war – isn't that something worth dying for?"

He paused midstep and gave her a wounded look. "And aren't I something worth living for?"

Elaine felt her throat grow dry, her soul twisting and wailing inside her at the thought of how much this news must hurt him. "… that's not fair."

"I think that is pretty fair." He came towards her, until he was so close she could reach out and touch him; yet it felt like there was still a thousand miles between them. "Yeah, its selfish of me. But I'm rolling with it anyway. You were prepared to not come home today. Did you even think for a second about what you'd leave behind? We just said we were in this for the long run and you want to die on me?"

"Garrus, you can't do this. It _has_ to be me, there are no other Grey Wardens who can take my place."

"Yes, but why did you have to run in like that? Look at you!" he gestured to her bruised and battered skin, the machines she was still hooked up to. "You took the first chance and nearly got yourself killed in a pointless suicide attempt. Even if we weren't a thing, think about that! You running into this and dying without success will leave us worse off."

"Fine," she snipped tartly. "Then I'll only strike when I'm sure I can get there. But Garrus, you need to accept that you _will_ lose me. I'm sorry, but that's a truth I thought you were prepared to face."

His voice choked a little. "Is it so bad of me to love you so much, I can't bare the thought of it?"

Tears stung her eyes. Slowly, she stood, and hesitantly – fearing he might pull away from her – reached out to cup his scarred mandible in her palm. "It's a wonderful thing – more than I deserve. But if I don't, then even if we defeat the Reapers, then this nightmare might never end. I'm sorry."

"I'm not." He let her touch linger for just a moment, and then pulled away. "I'm not giving up. Not now, not ever. I'll find another way."

"The same way I want to find another way for Grunt? Perhaps we both have hard truths we must face…"

"I said I'm not giving up!" with a frustrated shake of his head, he spun on his heel and stormed bak out towards the doors. Over his shoulder, he swore: "Even if I have to make a deal with the devil, I'll do whatever it takes!"

Elaine didn't know what it was that made her heart skip a beat. But all of a sudden, Garrus' words struck a chord inside her, and an idea sprung to the forefront of her mind. It was complete madness, but even as she tried to push it away, her memory supplied her with all the evidence she needed as to why it she should do it!

Pulling the wires out of her arms, Elaine hurriedly wobbled over to Chakwas' desk, stepping around the fallen datapads. She snatched up a glass vial, and half-jogged out to the elevator. Once she reached the cargo bay, she was once again half running, halh hobbling to the armoury. Cortez gave her an odd look at seeing her in nothing but a hospital gown, but the Warden ignored him. Instead, she went straight to Vega, rummaging through the gear to just come back from the mission, frantically looking for her stuff.

Vega tried to ask what was wrong, tried to politely tell her to dress decently, but Elaine ignored him. Quickly finding her sword, she could have crowed with triumph at finding that it still had yet to be cleaned. Setting the glass vial on the table, Elaine held up her sword above it, and allowed the drops of Archdemon blood to run down the length of the blade and drip into its new glass prison.

* * *

By the time they reached the Citadel, Elaine was well enough to no longer hobble about, but still tender in places. Under her arm she carried a small satchel filled with her supplies. Her arm was secured around it like a vice, refusing to let anyone near. The moment they touched down at the dock, Elaine was the first one out of the door and almost running through the Citadel. She never told anyone where she was going, she glared at the Normandy crew that tried to delay her.

The hospital recognised her instantly, either that or they could sense the hair's-breadth from insanity wire Elaine now walked. The receptionist immediately allowed her through, and when Elaine reached the quarantined room, she found two doctors outside. She'd arrived just in time before her own deadline expired. Her heart was beating wildly, as if she were trying to go unnoticed by city guards in the midst of performing a most awful crime. Upon seeing them, she immediately wanted an update on Grunt's condition and then dismissed them from their posts. They were hesitant to do as she asked – could they sense there was something not right about the situation? Whatever their suspicions, they eventually left her.

Alone in Grunt's room, Elaine was once again reminded of the terrible threat before her. If it were possible, Grunt looked worse than before – she could start to see the skeletal structure of his face where he has been without proper food for so long, and the taint was sapping away what strength he had. Elaine's heart stuttered its beat with fear of what she was about to do. This would mostly likely kill him, but at least it would end his suffering if that was, he case. Slowly approaching his bed, she gently stroked his cheek and whispered for forgiveness. Deftly, she removed his oxygen mask and pulled out all equipment that obstructed his throat.

At the small desk to the side of the room, she placed her satchel and began to pull out the precious contents from inside. The vial of Archdemon Blood was first, sealed tight shut to prevent its evil spread from staining anything else around it. From the Normandy's lab she had stolen a sample of Darkspawn blood Mordin had been working on before his death. She hoped Chakwas could forgive her. And last of all, a small container of EEZO. When she, Shepard, Miranda and Mordin had gone to Thedas, one of the discoveries they'd made was that Element Zero was a variation of Lyrium. It wasn't the exact same, but Elaine prayed it was close enough.

Pouring each of her ingredients into a small dish, she began to stir them together. She had no idea how to prepare the conction but needed to keep her hands busy whilst she mustered up the courage for what came next. As she did so, she found herself saying the old words, words she could picture Alistair saying with her: "Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry out the duty that cannot be foresworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten, and that one day… we shall join you."

She looked to Grunt. Was this the right thing to do? Grunt had no say in this. What if he somehow lived and resented her for taking this choice away from him? But what was the alternative? Let him die, only a year old and wasting all the potential he had to give for his species? Let him hate her if he must; she refused to watch him die without at least trying every alternative.

With shaking hands, she picked up a scalpel knife, images of the Cerberus lab flashing through her mind as it slid easily into position between her fingers. Pushing the memories aside, she pressed the knife against the palm of her other hand. Like in the Collector base, every instinct inside Elaine rebelled, that this was bloodmagic, forbidden and evil. But just like then, Elaine had to push it aside and reconcile that perhaps a little evil was worth it for the greater good.

Flemeth told her that despite her not being a mage, there was still some magic inherent in blood, in the life-force, itself. With no choice but to believe it, Elaine cut the blade across her hand with a loud hiss. "Flemeth."

"Well, well, well," Elaine startled and spun. She nearly crashed back into the table in fright, to see Flemeth stood right behind her suddenly, tall and imposing. Yellow eyes burned like flames down upon her, the white hair of the old woman looked something akin to a Lion's mane. "What have we here…"

Her heart was hammering, the urge to put up a fight to escape a deadly predator almost too strong to resist. "I need your help."

"How curious," Every other time Elaine had conversed with the witch, she had been cordial, even playful. Now, there was nothing but contempt in her gaze, like a mother ready to scold a child for the last straw finally broken. Unlike when they had met before, Flemeth now did not wear the modern attire of the Citadel, instead she seemed to wear a cloak of crow-feathers, a glint of armour underneath. "Because I seem to recall you have yet to fulfil my latest request of you. Tardiness is most unbecoming, warden."

Elaine's eyes hardened, unapreciateive of being talked down to. "I went to Thedas. There was nothing there but a dead world and the evidence of how the Collectors and Reapers came across the taint."

"Yes, wandering the stars as they were, they snooped where they were not supposed too. Isn't it amazing how children believe they can turn anything they find into their own personal toys?"

"You knew," of course she did, how could Elaine had thought otherwise? There was seemingly nothing Flemeth did not know of. "You knew the Collectors discovered the taint, and when they reported it to their masters–"

"They came and took the Archdemon, Razikale, for themselves. I believe it was their vicious experiments on her that made her cry out into the lonely void – and summoned you back to the world of the living." She waved her hand dismissively as if the bombshell she had just dropped onto Elaine's mind was of no consequence. "But that is beside the point. That is not why I sent you there."

"I don't know what else you would want me to find –"

 _"_ _Uncover the history long since silenced. Head south, into the Dales, the land that was–"_

"Enough with the riddles!" Elaine hissed and threw up her arms. For a dreadful moment, she feared she offened the witch, that those blazing eyes would flare, and she would disappear. In a more measured tone, she continued: "I didn't summon you to argue, I needed you because–"

"Yes, to give your little experiment that magic-touch," said Flemeth, casting a look upon the sickly Grunt. "I know. But I will not do as you bid for nothing in return, girl. I have more class than that."

"Then what do you want? I'm not going back to Thedas. There's nothing there, and even if there was, we are in the middle of a war!"

"You want my help to save your friend?" Flemeth's voice was as hard and as sharp as a steel blade. "Then you must give me a promise, girl. One day soon – not this day nor the next, but _one day soon_ – I will come for you. And when I do, you will perform one simple task. Do this, and there will be hope for this galaxy. Refuse, and you will watch the stars crumble to ash."

Once again, Elaine had a brief moment to wonder if what she was doing was the right thing. Why was it that it always came down to a bargain with witches? But in the face of that ominous threat, with Grunt laid out and dying on the table, Elaine felt penned into a corner. "Fine. You have my word."

Flemeth grinned a smile so wide, Elaine was disturbed to see her teeth were pointed fangs. "Excellent."

* * *

Shepard hated being the bearer of bad news. He'd been sent to Aephus with the hopes of saving it from destruction. And whilst Cerberus had been repelled from the planet and the Turian military had managed to salvage the shipyards, it still felt like a colossal failure on his part. He hadn't had time to talk to Elaine about the implications of Cerberus having control of the Archdemon, but he knew she was agonising over this just as much as he was. Instead, he'd come straight to the Citadel Council, to report to them directly of what had happened. They had tried to delay the meeting for when Elaine arrived, but she was refusing to answer calls. Shepard tried to ignore the stab of hot anger in his gut, and made his report anyway.

"That's why, Councillors," he said to them when he had finished the story, "you need to send your fleets out. We need to find where Cerberus is hiding."

"And why would we do that?" asked the Turian Councillor.

Shepard blinked incredulously. "So that we can destroy them, that's why!"

"Commander," said the Salarian Councillor gently, "surely you understand that sending our fleets after Cerberus – with no leads to follow – would be foolish. We would leave the Citadel, and what little areas of space we have magaed to fortify, vulnerable to the Reapers."

"But can't you see that Cerberus having the Archdemon is a bad thing?!"

"It is a most troubling query," the Asari Councillor nodded grimly. "However, at this moment in time, it has also offered us a slight reprieve."

The Turian Councillor's mandibles fluttered, aggravated. "That thing was slaughtering through every defense in the galaxy. With it now removed from the battlefield, our troops will be safer. And what's more, the Darkspawn themselves seem to be unsure in the absence of their leader."

"Should we have any other concerns regarding them we will be sure to forward them to the Council's advisor on the subject, Miss Cousland."

"But–" Shepard's omnitool beeped loudly. He would have ignored it to deal with the anger once again roaring to life inside him that he was being overturned for someone else again. But then he noticed the message was marked as urgent – from the hospital. A quick read through had him hurriedly excusing himself from the council and sprinting to the nearest transit terminal.

Had any C-SEC cars spotted him, he would've instantly gone to jail at the reckless driving he committed in his race to get to the hospital. Abandoning the car half on the sidewalk outside, he leapt into the waiting room, several doctors already there. They attempted to blather on to him about what was happening, but Shepard only caught the gist that it was bad. He shoved his way through them to get to the room marked in quarantine.

Inside, he found Elaine struggling against two doctors attempting to wrestle a vial of dark liquid from her hands. She tried to kick out at them, but her body was still a little weak from her injuries. The doctors were trying to shout at him, tell him to do something, that she'd smuggled in something that had set their alarms off for its toxicity.

"Elaine!" Shepard's voice rang out like a gong that caused every person in the room to freeze and look at him. "What the hell is going on here?"

Taking advantaged of the distraction, Elaine threw one doctor aside and leapt towards Grunt. Shepard and all the other doctors and nurses rushed to stop her – but too late. Elaine poured the black liquid down Grunt's throat and slammed his mouth closed. There was a loud gurgle, and the krogan's throat bobbed as he swallowed.

Everyone frozen, staring between Elaine and the unconscious body on the bed. Grunt growled and mumbled in his sleep, and then all of a sudden, his eyes shot open, milky white and filmy as if he were suddenly blind. Shepard felt a cold power sweep through the room, a shiver involuntarily racing down his spine.

"Elaine… what did you just do…" he whispered.

When she looked up at him, there was something in her eyes that unnerved him. "I just gave Grunt the Joining."


	25. The Admiral

"You did _what_?"

Elaine sat in the 'break-room' that Shepard had pulled her into after her words had sunk in. She could hear the hospital doctors just outside the closed door, perhaps trying to overhear. She sat impassively. A mask in place so that the Commander would never know her true emotions.

"Grunt is poisoned with the Taint of the Darkspawn, Shepard." She explained slowly. "There was no way for him to survive, unless I attempted to put him through the Joining."

Shepard, who had been pacing back and forth across the small room, stopped and turned to regard her. "You said that was impossible. You told me you're the last Warden."

"I thought it was impossible. It should be. The Joining requires a recruit drink a potion concocted of several ingredients, notably Darkspawn blood, Archdemon blood, lyrium, and several other herbs to make it ingestibale. There were no Senior Wardens after I joined, I couldn't learn from the exact recipe."

"So, you didn't even know if you got this right, but you went ahead and did it anyway?" he asked incredulously. "Are you an idiot?! You could've killed him!"

In a flash she was on her feet, her eyes cold and furious. "He would've died anyway had I done nothing! The taint was _killing_ him, Shepard. The doctors would've found no cure. There was nothing that else that could save him. I had to try – I couldn't just give up!"

The pair of them were silent, allowing the tension to slowly ease where they knew no hot-headed words would win the other over. Elaine returned to her seat, back straight and posture poised to cover how bone-tired she really was. When was the last time she slept? Or ate?

"Well, did you get it right? Did it work?"

She glanced up. Shepard was watching her from across the room. His voice had been quiet, inflected with interest. Elaine shifted, suddenly uncomfortable in her seat. "Grunt isn't dead yet… But he's taking too long for me to see if he will pull through. Perhaps it is his alien biology; I'm not sure."

"But he _could_ still pull through?" Shepard came forward, step by step, some unnamed emotion brightening in his eyes. "Elaine, that means you were successful. We could make more Wardens to fight the Darkspawn – to slay the Archdemon! You need to give me details. I need to pass this onto Hackett."

Elaine hesitated. How could she tell Shepard that she had summoned an ancient immortal witch, that _she_ had been the one to take her ingredients and put them together correctly, adding her own magic to the potion, enabling it to be recreated like in days of old? And that it had all come at an unnamed price? No. He wouldn't believe it. And what's more, she knew she had to lie, that something about this told her it must remain a secret.

"I… I can't, Shepard." She sighed, looking away from him, acting as if she was embarrassed by her own failures in this matter. "I mean, I had the Darkspawn blood and a drop of blood from the Archdemon – those are the key ingredients. Then there was Eezo, as a substitute for Lyirum, but… there was an accident. In the lab, I–uh–spilt several chemicals when the doctors first came in to stop me. I couldn't tell you which ones made it into the potion, and which didn't."

"Well, then we'll just have to do trial and error–"

She shook her head. "That won't work. You'd never be able to tell which concoction was the right one, because even if you did manage to recreate it, the Joining itself often proves fatal." At least that was true.

With a soft growl under his breath, Shepard kicked out at the cabinet housing the microwave and other kitchen assortments. He rubbed his hand tiredly over his face, his back to her. "So we're right back to where we started."

"All we can do now is hope that Grunt pulls through…"

"You mean you will." He said. Elaine looked up at him sharply. His eyes met hers, resigned but regretful. "You showed reckless behaviour and a severe lapse in judgement when you attempted this crazy experiment. I have to punish that somehow. So I'm ordering that you stay here. You're going to watch over Grunt and see if he makes it… or not. You can rejoin the Normandy after that."

He made to leave, and Elaine was so incensed that she was up on her feet and after him in two strides. Her hand clamped onto his jacket sleeve and spun him around to face her. "I thought I made it clear to you before, Shepard. You are not my commanding officer! I am the First Warden–"

"But I'm still in Command of the Normandy!" he snapped, shaking off her hold. "If you won't follow my orders, then I'll order EDI to keep you out."

With that, he stormed out of the doorway, leaving Elaine stood alone in murderous fury.

* * *

Garrus fiddled with some of the settings on the map in the war room. He managed to get it to show him the latest information on the general consensus on the fighting in Turian space. Better than he'd expected but worse than he'd hoped. With a sigh, he dismissed the data and attempted to pull up what he could on the Perseus Veil. By the morning, they would be hosting the Admirals of the Quarian Migrant Fleet, and Garrus wanted to be prepared.

He hoped Shepard and Hackett were onto the right track with this plan. He couldn't fault the reasoning behind it. The Migrant Fleet was the largest in the galaxy, and they desperately needed those ships to even the odds. Considering the aggression of the Reapers' war tactics, the Darkspawn attacks, the casualties on Aephus and Cerberus getting their hands on the Archdemon – they needed a solid win. The Krogan were helping where the fighting was thickest, yes. But if they could replicate the win of the Genophage Cure, it might be enough to make Garrus more hopeful.

At the edges of his hearing, he heard voices coming from the comm. room. He glanced that way, where he knew Shepard was talking to Hackett. Curiosity got the better of him. Glancing around the room to make sure nobody was watching (the crew had all gone to bed an hour ago), he inched closer to the opening so that he could better hear.

"What's the situation on the Darkspawn, Admiral?" he heard Shepard ask.

Hackett's voice was undercut with the occasional flicker of static and the robotic undertone the QEC gave him. _"It's pretty unclear, at the moment, Shepard. In hindsight, I can now see the order and structure the Archdemon brought to the horde – right now they're running around aimless, attacking indiscriminately, both friend and foe alike."_

"Aren't the Reapers controlling them?"

 _"_ _Curiously, the Reapers can maintain tight control over the Darkspawn when they're in close proximity. Perhaps its their indoctrination signal. When outside of its immediate field of influence, the Darkspawn revert back to their original master, the Archdemon."_

Garrus mentally filed away that piece of information for later. It could very well come in handy. He began to strategise how to lure Darkspawn away from the Reaper they protected until its signal dropped. Would there be a moment of confusion amongst their ranks as their brains switched masters? If so, it would make them vulnerable to a team of well-placed snippers…

"Any information on that, sir?" he heard Shepard say.

 _"_ _None. And that worries me. That thing is like a nuke on steroids with the influence it has in this war. With Cerberus getting their hands on it, I don't even want to think about what that could mean for us."_

"At least we know they can't kill it. What good that does us." Shepard grumbled.

Hackett paused, and Garrus felt his stomach coil with dread. _"That's another thing I wanted to talk to you about, Shepard. Miss Cousland. She claims to be the only one capable of killing the Archdemon. Why?"_

Shepard paused, and Garrus didn't blame him. It was difficult to explain to someone about soul-transference and still be taken seriously. "I'm not entirely sure, Admiral. But I do know it has something to do with the taint inside her. It links her to the Archdemon and the Darkspawn. According to her, she's the only one that can end them, permanently."

 _"_ _That puts us in a difficult situation, Shepard. We have a weapon against these bastards. We need to use it wisely."_

"My thoughts exactly, Admiral."

 _"_ _Keep the Warden close, Commander. We're going to need her when the time is right."_

Garrus didn't want to hear anymore. He stormed out, passed the conference room, through the scanner and to the elevator. His blood was pounding in his ears. The way they talked about Elaine, it was like they were primitives waiting for the right time to sacrifice an animal to the gods. It made Garrus' stomach flutter as if on the verge of panic. The thought of her in danger was enough to make him want to sweep her away from them and hide her where no one would harm her. He'd lost her once, he wouldn't lose her again!

He went straight to the Battery. He couldn't go to their room, not when the empty spot beside him in the bed bothered him so much. When Shepard had announced what Elaine had done and her punishment, Garrus had been a little pissed. Both at her and Shepard. Boyfriends didn't tend to react well when their girlfriends were left behind on a space-station on the other side of the galaxy without his knowledge. So, to take his mind off it, he busied himself with work.

As soon as he entered the battery, his omnitool pinged. He glanced at it – an incoming call from the Primarch. Transfering the call to his terminal, he answered cordially: "Primarch."

 _"_ _Vakarian."_ Said Victus. _"It's good to hear from you."_

There was a pause, in which Garrus felt the need to quietly say: "I'm sorry about Aephus, sir."

 _"_ _Yeah,"_ sighed the Primarch. _"That was a real shitshow. But at least we obtained the main objective. In the future, we're going to need to amend our plans to accommodate full Darkspawn attacks as well – as if we weren't stretched thin already…"_

"Shepard and the Alliance are of the same mind, sir…"

 _"_ _Hackett already contacted me. He forwarded Shepard's reports."_ Victus' voice sounded like his father when he was trying to get Garrus to admit to something he already knew. _"Miss Cousland seems to be of the opinion she can stop the monsters."_

Garrus' instant emotional response was to get angry. He refused to think of Elaine being sacrificed to stop all of this. It was hypocritical of him, and he knew it, that he should go on to Shepard about Ruthless Calculous, yet he wasn't prepared to watch one woman die for the sake of saving everyone else. It just made every fibre of his body scream out in protest. "She's wrong, sir. It would just be a pointless waste of a good soldier."

 _"_ _Is that all it is?"_

"Sir?"

He heard Victus sigh in exasperation. _"I wanted you to come to this conclusion yourself, Garrus, but it seems I've run out of time. I know Miss Cousland is important to you."_

"Yes, but I don't see–"

 _"_ _I mean I know exactly how important she is to you."_ Said the Primarch. _"I know the thought of her in mortal danger puts you on edge like nothing you've ever experienced. I know that you're ready to pull out your fringe in frustration at the thought of being sperated from her. I know that you haven't thought about anyone else besides her since you two have been together."_

Garrus floundered, speechless, for some coherent response. The Primarch's words rang like a bell of truth in his head. It disturbed him how this person who didn't know him all that well at all could ready him so clearly. "Uh, I-I-I, err… Sir. I don't know–"

"She's your mate, Garrus." Was the short answer. "I recognise the signs when I fell for my Lita…" the name was said with an air of devotion and echoing grief.

Now Garrus' brain came to a complete stop. "B-but, that's impossible! We're not the same species. It shouldn't work like that."

 _"_ _That's what I told myself when it first occurred to me. But you were the one that held onto a woman's sword, who you hadn't seen in six months, and talked about her almost non-stop to the point I had multiple bunker transfer requests on Manae."_

The world was spinning. Garrus had to hold onto the nearest wall and slowly sat himself down on the floor in an attempt to feel grounded. "I… I can't believe it…"

The earlier mirth in the Primarch's voice was gone, only to now hold true sympathy. _"You have to face the truth, Garrus. Because if you don't, when the hard moments come, it'll hit you all at once and you won't be able to let her go. You need to confront it now and reconcile the inevitable…"_

* * *

Shepard received the Quarian Admiralty Board in the war-room. They'd arrived at the Persuius Veil that morning to find it war-torn and the Migrant Fleet already on edge. EDI had informed him that every ship had been upgraded with weapons systems to classify each one as draudnaught-class. To Shepard, that was all a win, as the more guns they could potentially have against the Reapers was always good to hear.

However, what he was quickly displeased with, was the Admirals' explanation as to why they had returned to the Veil.

"Seventeen days ago," said Admiral Gerrel, using his omnitool to have the war-room table project a hologram of a recent battle, "with precise strikes on four Geth systems, the Quarians initiated the war to retake our homeworld."

Before Shepard could voice his confusion, Admiral Koris said it for him, "Which was a clear violation of our agreement with the Council to avoid provoking the Geth!"

"A treaty violation is nothing compared to recovering our homeworld and advanced AI technology." Said Admiral Xen. She had been staying quiet on the sidelines up until now. Her superior _I-know-better-than-you_ tone was already grating on Shepard's nerves, and she'd only spoken a single sentence.

"You're throwing yourselves at the Geth?" Shepard said incredulously. "Again? Now? Of all times?"

"With the Reapers now here, Commander, our people will need a place of refuge." Said Garrel. "We'd driven the Geth back to the home system when this signal began broadcasting to all geth ships."

On the hologram, a deep red ripple effect began to encompass the images of the Geth fleet, and the battle tactics suddenly switched their aggression to level 11. Shepard didn't need three guesses to know what was responsible. "The Reapers."

Garrel nodded gravely. "Under Reaper control, the Geth are significantly more effective. Our fleet is pinned in the home system. If we're going to win–"

"Win?!" cried Koris, outraged. "You insisted on involving civilian ships, Admiral Gerrel! We need to retreat, or we'll lose the liveships!"

"Where's the signal coming from?" asked Shepard.

"Here." Garrel zoomed in the hologram to a single ship at the heart of the Geth fleet. "A Geth dreadnaught. It can outgun anything we've got, and it's heavily defended."

"The Normandy's stealth drive can get us in undetected." Shepard looked to each of the admirals, to reassure them. "I could board, then disable the Reaper command signal. And while they're confused, you get to a Mass Relay and retreat."

"Good." Said Koris. "Our civilian ships have seen too much fighting already. Are you certain you can disable the signal?"

"We'll get you out safely, Admiral."

Admiral Raan turned back to the door, a slightly proud lilt in her voice. "Our newest admiral had also volunteered to offer technical expertise…"

Shepard followed the Admiral's gaze as a new figure entered the War room. He immediately recognised the same purple suit, the same rose-mask, the same bright eyes. "Tali'Zora vas Normandy, reporting for duty…"

Throughout the rest of the meeting, as Shepard negotiated promises with the Quarians for aid in exchange for helping them in their war against the Geth, he found his eyes constantly going back to Tali. It had been so long since he'd spoken to her. He hadn't heard anything from her since his incarceration. And now she was an Admiral! Why hadn't she told him? How long had this been a thing? It took all his patience to keep his focus on the meeting with the admirals as he planned boarding the dreadnaught. He really wanted to talk to her, just like old times. He finally got his chance when Tali asked to speak with him to "brief him on the advancements of the Geth" whilst the other Admirals squabbled about the best form of distraction for the mission.

He followed Tali out into the conference room. He didn't dare speak until the doors to the war room were closed. He smirked at Tali. "Admiral?"

The crinkle of her bright eyes told him she was smiling. "It's mostly a formality. I'm an expert on the Geth."

He chuckled. But she did not join in. Instead, she went straight to the window to gaze out onto the stars. Somewhere out there was her fleet, in peril. She'd always put her people first, always worried about them. It sobered him up. "Why didn't you contact me about all this, Tali? I would've helped."

"Thanks," she said, "but I knew you had your own problems… I'm sorry about Earth. How're you doing?"

He puffed air through his cheeks. "It's been hard. But, I can't complain. Everyone here has lost something of home to this war."

"Everyone's here?" She looked at him, eyes bright. "Garrus? Elaine? Chakwas?"

"Yep." Shepard couldn't help but smile. The whole gang back together again. "And I know Joker and Liara are going to be dying to catch up with you–"

"Liara's here too?" in an instant, her entire mood changed. She deflated, rubbing her hands self-consciously together. "Ah. I see."

Shepard frowned, concerned. "Tali, is there something–"

"No. It's fine. I understand. She came first." Before Shepard could question her on the alarmingly fast way she closed her tone, she was speaking to him in an almost robotically business-like manner. "We've got the largest fleet in the galaxy, if you can help us, we'll hit the Reapers with everything we've got."

"Tali, can we talk for a–"

"Sorry, Shepard." She quickly stepped away from him before he could reach her. The commander attempted to ignore the sting he felt or confusion building within him. "I need to keep things strictly professional in front of the other admirals. I'll be ready to hit that dreadnaught whenever you are."

* * *

That evening, Garrus was summoned to help Shepard board the Dreadnaught with Tali. The Commander said he wanted him because with Tali, the pair of them were a Geth-killing machine. He tried to not let his head get too big under the praise. He was actually looking forward to talking with Tali again. It had been too long since they'd last kept in touch. To think, he had looked down on her when they first met, thought her a waif of a girl from a people that were little better than beggars and thieves – spirits, he'd been such an ass.

Suited up and gear ready to go, Garrus realised he had a spare five minutes before Shepard had scheduled the launch of their mission. His fingers fidgeted, and he found himself gravitating to his omnitool and placing a call before he could think better of it. He just knew that Elaine would want to know everything that was happening – and he wanted to hear her voice.

It picked up after the third ring _. "Is this…?"_ her voice was clear and was like a balm to an ache in his soul he hadn't even been aware of. He could hear ruffling as she attemped to press a load of buttons on her omnitool. _"Andraste's knickers, I never know how to work this thing!"_

"Hey, Elaine." He said with a grin.

 _"_ _Oh!"_ she startled. _"Garrus! Sorry, I just…"_

"I know. You can take the girl out of the medieval era. But you can't take the medieval era out of the girl." At least that's how he hoped the human saying went. When she didn't laugh at his humour, he grew sober. "I'm… I'm sorry I'm not there with you. I didn't know Shepard was leaving you behind until we'd already gone through the Relay."

 _"_ _There's not much you could do here, anyway."_ He could tell she was bitter about the situation by the tenseness in her tone. _"Just like after Zaeed's mission, I'm being treated like a child. I'm just stuck waiting…"_

"Well, if you'd told me what you were planning, maybe I could've–"

"Was I supposed to tell you before or after your sulk?"

He gawked at her snappish voice. "My _sulk?_ You're still mad because I don't want you to **die**?"

"No, I'm…" she sighed. "I don't know anymore. I'm just tired. Tired of the uncertainty. Tired of every victory not seeming like its enough."

"Yeah, that's going around."

"Where are you?"

"In the Persious Veil. We're trying to bring the Quarians–"

"Is Tali there?!" she asked quickly, barely restrained excitement evident in her voice.

"Yeah," Garrus smirked; he'd guessed that would be her first question. "She's here. She's already been asking me a thousand questions about you. She can't wait until you get here. Maybe she thinks you can talk everybody down. Her people have started a war with the Geth to retake their homeworld, Rannoch."

 _"_ _They what?!"_ She cried. _"But what about Legion? Did she learn nothing from him?!"_

"Apparently, Tali was one of the few Admirals that spoke out against the War."

 _"_ _Tali's an admiral? I knew it! I knew she would do it!"_

"Garrus," EDI's voice overhead said gently. "The Commander has requested your presence in the cargo bay. You leave for the dreadnaught in two minutes."

"Elaine, I… I have to go…" Spirits, he really didn't want to. The thought of hanging up on her of not knowing when he might see her again, made his heart twist inside him. And it was in that moment that the words of Victus came back to him like another rocket to the face, and he realised they were true. "I'll try to call when I'm back, there's stuff I need to tell you…"

 _"_ _Don't worry,"_ her voice was distant, resigned. _"_ _I won't die while you're not looking."_


	26. The New Grey Warden

_Fitful dreams befell the warden. Of endless corridors, each vaguely familiar, as if she was back at the cutting room again. She was running, the halls turning black as festering roots grew speedily along the floors, walls and ceiling, right at her heels. There was a voice just beyond her reach, muffled through the walls. Elaine attempted to go through each door, to find the voice, vut she couldn't find it. Vaguely, music echoed down the corridor. The black roots grew thicker, faster._

 _She passed a window as she heard someone shout out in pain. Her bare feet slipped on the tiles as she tried to stop. Elaine pressed herself against the glass. On the other side, there was a dark and empty ship, cables and loose machinery everywhere. Pieces of the ceiling were falling down, blasted off by a beam of bright light._

 _And through the falling debris came Garrus, eyes wide in fear. He kept looking over his shoulder, as if he were fleeing from something. He wasn't looking where he was going as another piece of the ceiling fell towards him._

 _Elaine screamed, but no sound would come –_

Elaine jolted awake in her chair, eyes wide and breath short. She glanced around, mind still half in the dream, looking for a threat. But nothing, just the same empty hospital room, the same uncomfortable chair she'd slept in, the same Krogan now waking –

Wait. Grunt was waking up?!

He was! The young Krogan was shifting in his bed, as if he were a child that didn't want to leave his cozy slumber. With a groan, he stiffly sat up, hand rubbing the side of his face. "Urgh… what a trippy dream…" he muttered in a hoarse voice.

"Grunt? Grunt!" Elaine shot out of her chair and nearly tackled Grunt out of his bed as she threw her arms around him. She'd never been so happy as to see those bright blue eyes again!

"Elaine?" Grunt sounded bewildered as he attempted to pull her off. "What're you doin' here?"

She pulled back to give him a watery grin. "Couldn't leave my best Krogan, could I?"

At that, he finally smiled. "Hehe, it'll take more than doctors to – _arghh…"_

He doubled over, cradling his head in his hands. Elaine immediately fussed over him, her heart leaping about in her chest with worry. "What's wrong? Do you feel well?"

"Feel like I chugged seventeen kegs of Ryncol. Don't do that, by the way. Bad idea."

"It wasn't Ryncol…" she hesitated, but knew he had to know. Let him hate her if he must. She sighed in defeat. "Grunt, I need you to listen to me very carefully. You remember you fought the Darkspawn in their nest, yes? You stayed behind to let the rest of us escape."

"It was a good fight – just wish I got a recording of it. Would've really impressed the females."

"Grunt, when you were down there, you were… contaminated. The Darkspawn taint, it infected you. Your regeneration tried to fight it, but… it was going to kill you. You got very, _very_ sick."

"But," he frowned, confused. "I mean, I feel fine."

"There's no cure for the taint, Grunt. The only way to prevent you dying… I had to try something, something stupid and reckless. I…" she drooped her head and let the comdening words be spoken. "I put you through the Joining."

"What?"

"I gave you a potion to make you like me, a Grey Warden." But was it a different kind of death sentence? A nasty voice asked inside her head. Or was it for her own selfish gains? "Grunt, there was no way you were leaving this bed. The taint would've poisoned you. It would either have made you wither and die, or reduced you to a deluded animal before it choked you on its poison."

"Neither of which is a worthy death for a Krogan." He was quiet for a moment, and Elaine dared to look up to meet his eyes. "So what does this mean now?"

Taking a fortifying breath, she began: "A Grey Warden is devoted to the cause of stopping the Darkspawn and the Blights they bring. They are our sworn enemies, and we are the only ones who can destroy them. Your body has accepted the taint, now; that means you can fight them, be exposed to their foulness and not die. With training and time, you will be able to sense the darkspawn coming, be able to tell when someone is infected with the Blight. This new part of you will grant you strength and enhanced capabilities. All for the purpose of slaying the Archdemon and the Darkspawn."

"That all sounds fantastic!" his voice boomed. "Let's find the–"

She held up a hand for silence. "Wait, Grunt. Your taint is a curse as much as a blessing. Your death at its hands… I haven't averted it, merely delayed it. Usually, I would say you now have thirty years to live – though I'm unsure if your Krogan biology will affect that number somehow. But when your time is up, you will hear the music of the taint, your Calling. When that happens, Grey Warden tradition dictates that you find an unwinnable battle to die in, for otherwise your mind will degrade into that of the Darkspawn until you either consider yourself one of them, or you waste away."

She expected him to digest her words, to mull over what this all meant. But he surprised her with his quick response. "I was only a few months old when I was prepared to go on a suicide mission for Shepard. Death doesn't frighten me."

"Then… I must ask something of you, Grunt." She stood from her seat, and spoke the words she had been rehearsing whilst she had waited. "The Darkspawn are here, waging a Blight alongside the Reapers. The Archdemon leads them, and until it is dead, this threat will never stop. You are now as I am, with all the tools at your disposal to defeat them. So I ask that you join me, Grunt; to be a Grey Warden, to be part of my order. I ask that you accept me as your commanding officer and your mentor. I will teach you everything I know, and help you to master your new abilities."

Grunt looked at her with something close to surprise on his face. For a dreadful moment, Elaine thought he would throw her offer in her face. She had put this on him, so why should he have any loyalty for her? But once again, he surprised her: "You saved my life, Elaine. You have given me strength to be a better warrior. I will follow you."

"Then kneel."

Immediately, he pulled the IV's out of his arms, yanked out the breathing-tubes in his nose and leapt out of bed. Perhaps he expected himself to be more sure-footed, for he wobbled where his muscles were slack from disuse. But still, he got control of himself, and knelt before her. Even though he was young, his hump still reached her breastbone in height. From beside her chair, Elaine pulled out Starfang and held it in front of her, the blade-end between her feet.

"Urdnot Grunt," she said, "do you hereby take the oath of the Grey Wardens? Will you hunt the Darkspawn, wherever they may be? Will you slay their soldiers and destroy their nests? And will you guard all the realms of all the races from their threat?"

"I will." vowed Grunt.

"Will you forsake all previous ties? You will have no leader, no kind, no faction to swear loyalty to except the Grey Wardens? Will you take no sides in wars, and will you do what it takes to eliminate the Darkspawn threat?"

"I will."

She then touched her Starfang to his bare shoulders. "Then arise, Grunt of the Grey Wardens, my brother in arms, and remember our words: In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice."

Grunt slowly stood to his full height, and Elaine was suddenly reminded of how big he truly was. The krogan offered her a smile, and Elaine smiled back. Something deep down grew warm at the thought that she was no longer alone.

They checked in with the doctors who were baffled by Grunt's miraculous recovery and they discharged him within the hour. Collecting Grunt's armour, weapons and anything else he wished to bring, they made their way to the docks. They had to send a message to Wrex, telling him of why his most promising soldier was now abandoning the fight. Elaine winced, dreading the reprucussions of this. Using their credits and Elaine's authority, they hired a small aircraft to take them to the Veil. Hopefully soon, Shepard wouldn't know what hit him.

* * *

Shepard charged through the ship, his shirt untucked and his jacket barely staying in place. He didn't even wait at the scanner, just barged right through straight for the war room. A vein was bulging in the side of his head. A beast of anger was roaring in his gut and he followed it. As he rounded the corner, he could already hear voices arguing in the war room.

"… I should charge you with treason!" shouted Raan.

"I was within my authority as admiral of the Heavy Fleet!" snapped back Garrel. Shepard rounded the corner, and upon seeing the quarrian that he thought he could most get on with, his vision went red.

"And what of Commander Shepard?" demanded Raan. "And Tali'Zorah?!"

"They escaped unharmed–"

"We did." Shepard's voice cut through the room icily. All eyes turned to him as he stepped up to the admirals, a dark gleam in his eyes. His next words were spat in Garrel's face. "Garrus didn't."

Sensing the danger, Raan tried to say soothingly, "I'm so sorry to hear about your crewmate, Commander. How is he doing?"

"Chakwas says he'll be okay." Shepard didn't take his eyes off Garrel. "No thanks to you."

"Shepard," said Garrel, "the mission perametres changed. You're military, you understand that."

"I understand that you wasted your chance to withdraw safely!"

"The dreadnaught was a perfect targ–"

Shepard punched Garrel in the gut with enough force to make the man double over, winded. Raan and Xen gaped in surprise. Tali, however (who had followed on Shepard's heels) merely snorted. The Commander wanted to follow that blow with many more. No one, repeat _no one,_ touched his crew! The only thing that held him back was Hackett's voice in her head telling him they needed the Quarian fleet…

"Admiral," Shepard hissed, "you jeopardized the mission, your people, and your _perfect target_ happened to be one of my best friends and a high member of the Turian Hierarchy! Get the hell off my ship!"

Finally recovering, Garrel glared at Shepard, before slowly slinking away. They all watched him limp out of the room, several Normandy crew-members sending the retreating admiral death-glares at his back. They were all a family here, what pissed off their commander also pissed off them.

Admiral Raan once again attempted to smooth things over. "Shepard, I understand you're angry…"

Tali shot her aunty a look. "He nearly got us killed, Raan."

"Will the Turian Primarch want vengeance for this?"

Shepard took a deep breath in order to try and regain some composure. "That all depends on how your people behave in the coming days, Admiral."

"You must understand, the Geth inflicted heavy casualties before you disabled the Reaper signal."

The red haze calmed. Back to business. "You said they have a planetary defense cannon?"

"Had." Raan corrected. "Admiral Koris sacrificed his own ship to destroy it. He crash-landed on the homeworld."

"The Normandy can assist with rescue efforts."

"Thank you, Commander. I think the worst is over–"

"Shepard-Commander." Came a familiar mechanical voice. Everyone turned to see a robotic body walk humbly into the war room. "We are prepared to offer assistance."

Raan and Xen leapt back in horror. "What THE HELL is this?!"

"Wait-wiat! Everybody calm down." Shepard stepped in front of the Geth, who looked innocently at its mortal enemies. "This is Legion, it helped me destroy the Collectors. The Reapers were using Legion like a signal booster to broadcast commands from the Dreadnaught. We freed him."

Xen was the first one to get over her inhabitions as Legion joined Shepard. She came forward to study the Geth with a critical eye. "This is a fascinating prototype. With some study, I may be able to use it to find a weakness in the Geth consensus."

The metal flaps above Legion's light-eye went up and down in alarm. Before Shepard could rebuke the admiral, he was astonished when Tali of all people beat him to it. "Xen, Legion is an ally."

Xen snorted. "I would consider it no more an ally than your shotgun, Tali. Should I worry about its feelings as well?"

"I don't think you want to continue this line of thought, Admiral." Said Shepard. "More important than being your play-thing, Legion's our best source of information on the Geth."

"The scientific benefits–"

"Are OFF the table."

"Well, um, Legion," Raan awkwardly mumbled. "What can you tell us about how the Geth will operate without Reaper control?"

"This is a false assumption," explained Legion. "You have cut-off long range control, but the Old Machines placed a base on Rannoch for short range direction."

"The geth still have Reaper upgrades?"

"Correct. They are currently disorganised, but once the short-range signal is in place, they will recover."

Horror dawned on the hief admiral. " _Keelah_ … I need to warn the fleet. Xen, coordinate with Garrel! Move!"

The two admirals rushed off to warn their people of the danger. In the next hour that followed, Shepard attempted to drill Legion on where this short-range base was located. The sooner the Geth were out of Reaper control, the better. Legion did report – as a show of good faith – that there were Geth fighter squadrons endangering the live ships. Knowing how important those ships were to the Quarian fleet, it was vital that they find that server hub and shut it down.

Whilst they worked, Tali went to a terminal at the edge of the war-room in an attempt to co-ordinate with her team still with the main fleet. Being an Admiral now, she had more people working directly for her. It felt good to be back on the Normandy, a sense of _home_ coming over her. Everyone was here – well, nearly everyone.

"Creator Tali'Zorah."

She turned, startled from her thoughts, to find Legion behind her. At one time, just that simple fact would have her reaching for her shotgun. Now, she offered him a polite smile. "Oh, hello Legion."

Legion tilted his head in perhaps what it thought was a greeting. "We are pleased to see that you have survived the fighting thus far. We had reached a consensus that there was a 84.7% chance of this outcome."

"Well, thanks, I guess." She huffed, amused at what he thought was reassuring to think there had been a 15.3% chance of her death. Even with him aboard, the ship felt just like old times. But that slight happiness was dimmed with the thought that soon… she didn't want to think about the 'us or them' scenario. "I just wish it hadn't come to this."

"It would seem this scenario fits the organic definition of Irony: that the creator most opposed to the Geth is the one most grieved to see the creators go to war with us." Legion's voice was oddly quiet.

"I know, but after talking to you… none of this feels right anymore." Damnit, why had she gone and befriended a Geth of all things? It would have made things so much easier if she continued to hate him! "You know what? For a while after the Collector Base, I actually thought we could achieve peace."

"It is very unlikely that two individuals could abolish racial bias and prejudice over the course of a few exchanged extranet messages. It would likely take several generations." The flaps atop his head unevenly switched up and down, as if he were thinking. "But, we did… _enjoy_ our correspondence with you, Creator-Tali'Zorah. You have offered us more insight into knowing our creators – more than we have known in three hundred years."

He left her at that. Tali watched him go. He'd be off to shut down the Geth hubs controlling those squadrons soon. He would be killing his own people to save hers. The knife in Tali's chest twisted painfully. _Keelah,_ why did it have to come to this?

* * *

Within twenty four hours, Elaine and Grunt finally managed to catch up with the Normandy. Parts of the Migrant Fleet had managed to evacuate to a co-joining star system for repairs, and that's where they found their SR2. They docked and quickly came aboard. Elaine breathed deeply to be back. It had only been a few days, but still a feeling wrongness had set in her soul. Now, it could be laid to rest. Joker, EDI and Traynor were the first to greet her, piling her with _welcome back_ 's and questions on what had happened.

When they saw Grunt, Joker had whistled and murmured how a super-powered krogan would give him nightmares. Elaine sent Grunt ahead to the Cargo Bay where he could bunk in with Vega. On the way, she had to interfere when Diana Allers attempted to question both Wardens. Elaine didn't like the woman and so quickly sent her on her way. It was as she was dismissing the nosy and spiteful woman, that she was tackled from behind

"Elaine!" squealed a familiar voice.

"Tali!" Elaine gasped as she spun and hugged her dear friend close to her, lifting her up in the process. How long had it been since she'd seen those beautiful bright eyes? Felt the soft fabric of her gorgeous suit? "I've missed you so much!"

"The others told me what happened!" Tali untangled herself from the Warden, only to thump her shoulder. "You Bosh'tet! I told you not to go!"

"I know, I know. But we're both here now." Elaine really didn't want to linger on questions of that time, and so moved the conversation on. "And look at you! An Admiral!"

"And you, advisor to the Counil, and now you have another Grey Warden." She gestured in the direction that Grunt had gone for the elevator. "I almost feel sorry for the Darkspawn."

"I don't."

"I can't believe it's all really real. Everything you told me about… it's all here." Her mystified tone was spoilt when she held up a finger to Elaine's face and tartly stated: "Just so you know, if there's Darkspawn-spiders, I'm out!"

Elaine laughed. "I'm sure Garrus can keep them off your–" she paused. Joker had announced a ship-wide message of her arrival. Why hadn't Garrus come to greet her yet? "Wait, where is Garrus?"

Tali hesitated, the fun mood seeping out of her to grow a ball of dread in Elaine's stomach. "We were escaping the Dreadnaught when Admiral Garrel tried to destroy it. Garrus, he… he got hit by–"

"What?! Tali, look at me! Is he alright? Where is he!"

"He's in the medbay. Some debris hit him, punctured his shoulder. Chakwas said he would be–"

But Elaine was no longer listening. She ran for the elevator, slamming her finger on the button five dozen times in her attempt to summon it faster. She rushed down to Deck 3, and ran around the corner and through the mess hall. She ignored Cortez and Chakwas at the table, and ran straight for the medbay. Bursting inside, her eyes immediately found him. He was half laid upon a bed at the far end of the room, a thin blanket covering him to his waist. Garrus' right arm was in a sling, his shoulder strapped up in bandages.

"Oh Maker, Garrus!" he barely had time to register that she had entered the room before she was running to his side.

"Elaine?" he asked, bewildered as she threw her arms around him. "You're here? –Ow!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Leaning back, she worriedly tried to put him back to rights. She checked his bandage, constantly glaned at him to fret if she had put him in any pain. "Maker's breath, Garrus! Look at you!"

"You should see the other guy," he said. When she continued to fuss, he reached out and captured her hand in his. "Tough girl, I'm fine. Just a stray chunk of metal got me. No broken bones, just tissue damage and cracked plates. Chakwas says I'll be back on my feet in no time."

Elaine hung her head, in both relief and despair. "I can't believe you! I leave you alone for just two days and this is what happens!"

"What's the human saying? The pot calling the pan black?"

"Pot calling the kettle." She snipped. "And it's hardly the same."

But she didn't want to argue when he was laid out in bed like this. Especially when she knew he was right – in a way. It made her feel sick to her stomach to look at him and realise that she had come close to losing him without even knowing it. When had they last spoken? That phone call. She hadn't even said goodbye, or told him she loved him. What if those had been their last words? The thought made her feel ill.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Grunt," she said quietly, turning her palm over to hold his hand. "I was simply swept up in the moment, I just wanted to see something be done."

"It's okay." He said, a tired smile playing at the edges of his mandibles. "I did miss you, though."

"And I you." She gave his fingers a gentle squeeze. "What have I missed?"

"The usual. No one can seem to get their act together, so Shepard's Nanny Services have to come and clean up the mess. We've got the Quarians and the Geth fighting, missing Admirals – did you see Tali?"

"Oh, yes. I almost decided not to come see you in favour of her."

He chuckled. "It's good to have her back. This is as much her fight as it is ours." He trailed off, something in his eyes abruptly filled with uneasiness.

"Garrus? Is there something wrong?"

"It's nothing…" she wouldn't have it though, and pulled his hand to her face, his palm instinctively cupping her cheek. He sighed. "I haven't heard anything from my family, Elaine. No one can tell me where they are."

His words were choked and Elaine desperately wanted to wipe the unhappy thoughts away. She rubbed her cheek into his rough palm. "You'll find them, Garrus. I know you will."

They were interrupted when the door opened and Shepard came strolling in. The Commander looked half-surprised to see Elaine there. "Oh, hey Elaine. I saw Grunt – you did good."

She didn't reply, still a little sore of him grounding her like a child. Garrus looked between the two, and the awkward silence was very quickly too much to bear. He cleared his throat loudly.

"Er, Elaine? Can you give me and the Commander a minute?"

"I'll go get you some real food." It never once entered her head to be upset he wanted to speak to Shepard without her. She understood. "I know how bad infirmary food can be."

Garrus kissed the back of her hand before she could leave. "You're an angel."

The Turian and the Commander waited until the Warden had left the medbay and the doors had shut behind her. Garrus even waited until he could see Elaine pass by the medbay window and know she was out of ear shot. Only then did he let out a long, aggravated sigh as allowed himself to feel all the aches and pains in his body.

"Please tell me you coughed on Garrel for that bullshit." He said to Shepard.

"Almost. Punched him in the gut." Said Shepard. Garrus huffed, amused. After a moment, Shepard quietly prompted: "You said you had something important? Is it word from Palaven?"

"Some. But I don't like what I'm hearing." Garrus' shoulders slumped, as if the weight of his own words were weighing him down. "The Krogan are there in force, but they're just slowing the Reapers down. Not stopping them. I'm not sure it's going to be enough."

Shepard looked almost panicked. "If they can just hold out a little longer until we get the Quarian Fleet for relief efforts…"

"Then we need to get this done. Fast." Garrus gave Shepard a pleading look, knowing exactly how tall an order that was. "I heard from Primarch Victus before we deployed. He wanted my advice on fleet strength for when the Crucible is ready… Still can't get used to people asking me things like that."

"What did you say?"

"I said, at some point, we're going to have to decide if our fleets keep defending Palaven, or we go on the offensive."

Shepard frowned. "Can't do both?"

"Not with the beating we're taking," Garrus stared out the window, to the back of the golden-haired woman he called his own, and knowing his next words would condemn him in her eyes. "Suppose that's what it's going to take, Shepard. The "Ruthless Calculous" of war. Ten billion people over here die so that twenty people over there can live. Like I said, not the sort of questions I'm used to answering."

"You know what you're doing, Garrus. Trust me. Everyone can see that."

The turian tore his gaze away from the window and smirked at his best friend. "Learned from the best."

"I'll be sure to give myself that credit in my speech at your wedding." Garrus near choked on his own tongue at the words, but Shepard carried on, in an exaggerated flanging voice: "Oh, Elaine! You're an angel! Sweetie, love of my life!"

"Don't give me that!" Garrus barked with laughter. "Because when I'm best man for you, I'll be sure to slip in an _'embrace eternity'_ … two or three hundred times."

* * *

That night, Garrus was well enough to be discharged from the infirmary, even if he wasn't quite cleared for active duty just yet. He and Elaine greatfully returned to their room, happy to be back in a comfortable bed side by side once again. But Elaine slept fitfully even when in the comforts of what she deemed to be home, even when she had Garrus' uninjured arm wrapped around her, the nightmares still plagued her.

 _She was running through the endless looping corridor once again. The black veins were everywhere, the air was hard to breathe._ _Shadows danced upon the walls, and Elaine tried to run past them, but her legs felt like they were made of led._

 _Then she was in the cutting room, and she screamed at all the doctors surrounding her with their needles and scissors and knives. Another scream joined hers. And then she wasn't amongst the doctors, she was on the outside looking in. A leathery wing burst out from amongst the wall of white coats. A claw reached from between the bodies, clawing at the air, desperate for escape. The Archdemon screeched as the doctors tore chunks of its flesh away from its bones, black blood pooling on the ground and coiling around Elaine's feet. It was from this awful blood that the vines were growing in order to suffocate the world._

 _One doctor stepped up to the Archdemon and with a pair of pliers, clamped onto its robotic red eye. With a twist and a yank, the reaper-eye came free. Silver gloop dribbled from the wound to pour down the Archdemon's face. Its cries became less mechanical, its movements less glitchy. Instead, an anger with the magnitude of a hurricane, a volcano, or any other natural disaster stirred to life in the great beast. Elaine cowered away from it, wondering why the doctors would allow this?!_

 _As if sensing her weakness, the Archdemon arose from amongst the doctors, who all stepped aside, their veins black with the taint, their eyes soulless. It loomed over Elaine, purple fire licking at its teeth, murderous intent bright in its one remaining eye._

 _Elaine ran from such a monster. She bolted for the door, ran through the corridor – it was a loop all over again! But she could feel the breath of the Archdemon behind her now, nipping at her heels. She ran and ran and ran, but still felt like she couldn't get away. And then, could it be? A door! Jumping through it, Elaine slammed them closed behind her and turned –_

 _She was suddenly on the edge of a cliff looking down into the hellish depth of a deep and dark gorge. Ash coated cracked and dead earth underneath her feet. The gorge yawned wide beneath her, beckoning her to fall in. And from the depths arose a voice, a voice the echoed in her soul, commanded her blood, resonated in her very core and bewitched her mind with its alluring sound._

 ** _"_** ** _Daughter of tainted blood,"_** it said, ** _"come to me. Follow the music!"_**

 _The woman could no longer remember her name, her purpose. All that existed in her head was the voice. All that had ever existed was the voice! She was prepared to jump, to fall into the depths to discover the source of the song that now thundered through her entire being. But before she could, a cold, vice-like grip snatched hold of her wrist and yanked her back. She was spun into the arms of a tall old woman, who had bone-white hair arranged like horns and eyes as yellow as twin andle flames._

 _And just like that, Elaine remembered herself._

 _And remembered Flemeth._

 _"_ _Every debt must be repaid…" said the witch._

Elaine bolted awake in bed, her skin damp with sweat, her breathing laboured. It took her a moment to recognise her surroundings, even in the darkness. Garrus' sleepy mumbles grounded her. He wasn't even looking as he reached for her, groaning at her to return to him, to go back to sleep.

It was painful to breathe, the force of her heart still slamming against her ribs felt almost too much to bear. Something about that dream seemed important. Was it the warning of Flemeth? Or that mysterious voice? For a moment, she debated on fully waking Garrus to tell him about the dream. But she paused. How silly would she be, to cry to him because she had a nightmare? She knew Wardens received nightmares of the Archdemon during a Blight. Why should she disturb his sleep because she couldn't deal with a natural occurrence?

And so, even though she knew she wasn't getting another wink, she laid down beside her lover, and waited for the morning to come.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Would you look at that? I'm actually on time this week! Woo-HOO!**

 **Now, please please please leave me some feedback, my lovely readers! You know that it is the lifeforce all authors must drink from to sustain ourselves. We've reached over 200 reviews now and I am so happy and grateful to you all - and I want to keep that momentum going!**


	27. The False Hopes

**Author's Note: For this chapter and the next, please listen to the song "This Is Our Time" by Hidden Citizens. I think it fits the theme of the battle of Rannoch perfectly.**

 **Please don't forget to leave a review!**

* * *

Shepard, Vega and Tali were almost ready to board the shuttle to rescue Admiral Zaal'Koris when Elaine ambushed them. Already clad in her armour, she strolled up to the Commander, determined to reach him before the point of no return when Cortez would be hurrying them.

"Shepard!"

He looked up sharply, surprised to see her. By his shifting eyes and slightly tensed jaws, she could tell he didn't quite know what to say to her. "Elaine? I, um…"

"I know we haven't had the chance to talk," it was better that she 'rip the bandaid off' or so the saying in these modern times went. "But seeing as I've now returned, I'm willing to forget the whole thing and pretend you apologised for treating me like a child. Again."

"Apologise?!" he scoffed. "Excuse me, but I–"

"Uh, Shepard?" Tali cleared her throat loudly. "We kind of need to…"

"Right. Sorry. Elaine, we'll have to do this some other–"

"Yes, of course. I didn't come here to argue." She nodded and stood to attention, playing the part of the attentive soldier. "I came to ask that you let me come on this mission."

Shepard frowned. "You have no useful skills against Synthetics, Elaine."

"I've fought non-organic creatures before. Granted, golems are made of stone and not metal, but the principal is still the same." Vega and Tali exchanged a look, but she ignored them. Takin Shepard's arm, she led him away a few paces in an attempt to have some semblance of privacy. "Shepard, I want to take Grunt into the field. To let him unleash himself – you have no idea how frustrating it can be to have all these new aspects of yourself trapped inside and bursting to get out in some form. Most wardens channel that through eating, but combat works just as effectively. And besides, Grunt needs to learn to follow my commands. I'd prefer he learn that away from actual Darkspawn."

She could tell that Shepard wanted to argue the finer points, but then Cortez was hurrying them along and he had no time. Elaine knew she'd timed her entrance well. After all, when rescuing someone of importance, it always helped to have some extra hands. "Fine."

They all journeyed down to the surface of Rannoch. Elaine watched Tali with interest as they stepped foot onto her beloved home. It had almost seemed like a myth, a promised land that Tali would tell stories of to give herself hope. But now they were here, it was real. Her friend didn't say anything at first, but Elaine could tell by the way she breathed and the set of her shoulders that she was deeply affected by this. The warden offered her a gentle pat on the back, and then Shepard was hurrying them along.

It was long before they encountered not only the dying crew of the admiral's crashed ship, but Geth as well. They did what they could for the dead, and the Geth were easily handled. Elaine was correct, fighting Geth was the same as fighting golems – hard work. For they felt no pain and spilt no blood, so her fighting style had to change. Instead of hacking and slashing to leave mortal wounds that would incapacitate her foes, she had to work for killing shots to the head or chest. Starfang's unique material allowed it to cut through the Geth bodies as easily as it would through flesh and armour. But still, it was vigorous work.

Grunt loved being able to fight once again. After so long bed-ridden, it was easy to see that he truly felt at home rending his foes limb from limb. And Elaine had to admit, he was an impressive Warden. The Joining hadn't improved him as much as it had Elaine, but it still added to his strength and reflexes. The reason for this was still a mystery she would need to ponder at a later date. As it was, with her and Grunt distracting the Geth, Shepard and Vega shooting them down, and Tali and her drone killed the Geth from within, they made short work of their foes.

"You know, Tali," Elaine said as the group jogged over a hill, having just disabled the AA gun-tower thanks to Tali's brilliance. "I think I missed that little spirit of yours. She always did come in handy. Pretty too."

"That's because my Tika is the best!" Tali cooed affectionately to the bright pink drone. A shot rang through the air, barely missing Tali's shoulder. The group looked up in time to see a Geth sniper covering its small band of troops coming in on their position. Tali sent her drone forward with a snarl. "Go for the optics!"

Elaine and Grunt ran ahead to meet their foes. Elaine ducked low to cut the legs out of one Geth, whilst her krogan-warden companion barrelled through three of them. "How are you doing, Grunt?" she called out to him as she decapitated another.

"I feel so alive!" Grunt cried jovially as he crushed a Geth's entire chest-plate under his foot.

A jamming tower was their next target, it was the only way for them to unscramble the SOS messages the Admiral was sending them. As the group made their way to the compound, they fell into easy silence. Elaine and Shepard even shared a small nod of respect to each other. The warden was reminded that no matter her differences with the commander, he was still a fellow soldier and fighting this war alongside her.

Once inside the compound and the Geth guarding the jamming tower were disposed of, Tali was ordered to hack it to disable it. Whilst the group waited, guarding her back for any incoming attack, Elaine noticed Vega eyeing her up and down. "You know, Lola, your style don't have to be so defensive."

Elaine was a little taken aback at how random this line of conversation seemed. "Excuse me?"

"C'mon, that armour's tougher than you think. Let 'em scratch the paint a bit. Some part of you wants to just let loose. I see the frustration in your shoulders." He grinned and nudged her with his elbow. "You ever need help with that, you let me know."

"It's never going to happen, Vega."

Almost instantly, he withdrew for her, standing upright and professional. The change was so fast, she was sure he should have whiplash. "Sorry, Lola. Didn't mean any offence. I'll stop, if you want."

"I didn't say I was offended," she said. "Nor did I say you should stop. So long as we're both clear it's never going to happen."

His easy grin returned immediately. "Why? Am I making this a little hard for you and Garrus?"

"Not even remotely." Tali quickly joined them soon after, her bright eyes crinkled behind her mask. Elaine cocked a brow at her. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing. It's just cute that you and Garrus have admirers." At Elaine's startled expression, Tali explained: "There's a Doctor on the Citadel, Dr Michel. She got Garrus turian chocolate."

Elaine wondered why this was so important, and seeing her predicament, Shepard offered: "Women don't get men gifts they themselves can't eat if he's _just a friend_."

"You're one to talk, Commander," chortled Vega. "I bet you get all the _señoras_ after you."

"I don't know," Shepard shrugged. "Liara would probably know about any secret admirers long before I did – and then she'd probably get rid of them before I had a chance to know about them."

Beside Elaine, Tali growled out words in a voice so low even the warden struggled to hear her. "Yeah. Because that's not creepy…"

Before Elaine could comment to wonder why Tali's mood seemed to have suddenly plummeted, she felt a nudge as Grunt tried to get her attention. "Battlemaster Elaine? If the Dr's trying to make a claim on your mate, can I help you break her spine?"

She was about to laugh, when his words sunk in and she paused. "What did you call me?"

"Battlemaster." The krogan shrugged. "I thought that was a given?"

When they'd visited Tuchanka, the krogan had spoken of the importance of Battlemasters, how they were revered and respected. To think Grunt called her battlemaster… she was touched beyond words. To not cheapen the moment, she thumped her first ot his shoulder-guard, unable to hide her smile.

From the back of the group, Tali watched them all as they headed for Admiral Koris' location. It felt weird, to slip back into the same easy banter, the charm of the group, the feeling of belonging. Tali felt better than she had in eight months. But one look at Shepard, and a sinking feeling swarmed her gut. Things were different and yet the same. Shepard treated her as he always did, like a close friend, like family. Her feelings had remained unchanged in all this time. She had accepted that he would never look at her that way, but that still didn't change how her heart fluttered every time he smiled. And yet, she was suppose to ignore that, to act like nothing was wrong when she felt so glum whenever she saw Shepard and Liara together?

Tali was so distracted, it was as if that midset infected the others, for suddenly, a team of Geth rose up from the rocks around them. They were surrounded, Geth blasters pointed at them from all directions. Tali only had a split second to act before one or all of them fell in this slaughter. Her fingers flew across her omnitool and a sudden spark seized hold of the head of one of the Geth. Its optic went from red to green and suddenly turned on its comrades. The hacked Geth began to shoot down its fellows one by one, causing chaos amongst their ranks. It was enough of an opportunity for the others to leap into the fight and take care of the rest. When the last of the group laid unfunctioning, Tali killed her hacked model by shooting it down with her own shotgun.

"Jesus, Tali!" she looked up at the sound of her name, to find Shepard watching her, wide eyed and a slow grin forming on his face. "That was fast, even for you!"

"Well…" she fiddled with her hands nercously. "Wha else was I meant to do? Let them shoot you?"

Vega (the meat-head alliance soldier she was a little intimidated by, even if he was kind of cute) laughed. "I knew I liked you, Sparks!"

"Your shots are getting better too, you know." Said Shepard as they walked on. "I remember the little Quarian I picked up on the citadel who couldn't shoot a Keeper at twenty paces."

"It has been three years, Shepard."

"But I mean it, Tali." He stopped her, his dark eyes sincere and earnest in that way that still made her stomach do little flips. "I know I don't say this enough, but… you turned out alright. With your skills on our side against the Reapers, the rest of this war'll be a piece of cake."

And there it was again. Shepard and all the other members of the Normandy kept dropping hints to her that they expected her to stay on the Normandy once this situation with the Geth was resolved. And she wanted to, but didn't she have a duty now that she was Admiral? Wouldn't it just be too uncomfortable?

Before she could voice any of these concerns, she was literally saved by the bell, as her omnitool chimed with a new incoming message from Admiral Koris. They had his location.

* * *

Hours later, Grunt sat in the middle of the Cargo-bay, a blindfold secured tightly over his eyes. His fists were clenched in his lap in growing frustration and boredom. He was attempting to listen intently, for any whisper of footsteps or puff of breath. But nothing, only the droning of the fans circulating the air. He'd been sat there for the best part of forty minutes, going over the same exercise over and over…

He felt the cool touch of a blade against his neck and growled. Another failure. Behind him, Elaine stood, holding Starfang's edge against his jugular. "Listen to your blood, Grunt."

"I'm trying! But I don't hear anything." Grunt raged. He was eager to learn the ability to sense tainted creatures, to become an effective Warden. And though Elaine had attempted to stress to him that these things took time to manifest, It would seem the only way to teach the young krogan patience was through failure.

"Don't literally hear with it." Elaine suggested. Despite this being a learning curve he needed to go through, she still wanted to see him succeed. "This time, _feel_. Take note of anything out of place. Maybe it'll be like an itch, a tingle, a prickle of the skin."

They stared again, Grunt sat with the blindfold still in place and Elaine stalking off to the shadows of the cargo-bay. With silent feet, she crept to a new position, employing all the skills Leliana and Zevran attempted to install in her. It worked, for Grunt seemed to have no idea where she was. She came from his left, and held out her sword. Suddenly, Grunt's head twitched in her direction, a second before the tip of Starfang tapped him on the temple.

"I felt a little something that time!" Grunt cried excitedly, ripping off the blindfold to beam up at her. Then, something inside the krogan gave a very loud grumble. "Then again, that might just be my stomach."

"I'll take any progress." Helping him to his feet, Elaine thumped his chestplate in a half-reasuring, half-playful manner. "Don't worry. These things come with time."

 _"_ _Elaine,"_ EDI's voice said from the speakers above, _"there is an incoming transmission for you from the Citadel Council."_

"Thank you, EDI." Elaine nodded and gestured for Grunt to head to the elevator. "Go and fill your stomach, Grunt. EDI? Could you possibly put it through my omnitool?"

 _"_ _Of course."_

 _"_ _Warden Cousland,"_ came the voice of the Asari Councillor a second later as Elaine's omnitool lit up for her. _"We received a report from you on adding a new member to your order. Congratulations."_

 _"_ _Though a_ _ **krogan**_ _might not have been the wisest choice for your first recruit…"_ she heard the Turian Councillor grumble. _"Think of the message this will send to the rest of the galaxy about your organisation."_

"It was not my intention, Councillor." Elaine said cordially yet firmly. "But Grunt is a fine soldier and I have nothing but the highest hopes for the kind of Warden he will become."

 _"_ _I am more interested in how you accomplished this."_ Said the Salarian Councillor. _"Do you have the ability to create more of you?"_

"I'm sorry, Councillor…" Elaine winced. "Grunt's successful transition into a warden was an accident of circumstance. I don't know how I would replicate the process and the time I would need to dedicate to investigate…"

" _We understand, Warden."_ Said the Asari. _"But that brings us to why we called you. We are receiving nurmorous reports of disease – an illness caused by contact with the Darkspawn. Our analysis teams have come up with no cure, currently. We would like your opinion on how to handle this situation."_

"This is a Blight Plague." This was bound to happen sooner or later. Soldiers were often wounded in battle, and in a war against the Taint, that was sometimes a fate worse than dying on the battlefield. "The best way to avoid contamination is to have your soldiers wear full armour to seal themselves off from their environment. The disease takes hold once it enters the body – most quickly through the bloodstream. But even absorption through the skin can be just as effective if the victim stands in a highly tainted area."

 _"_ _And what about for those already infected?"_ asked the Salarian Councillor.

"Immediate quarantine." The sting of her own hypocrisy was sharp. She had argued and done everything she could to save Grunt from a fate she was about to condemn an untold amount of people to. But she couldn't summon Flemeth to make a Warden of each and every one of them. "I know it is a difficult call, but with all due respect, Councillors, we cannot risk an outbreak. Lock them away from the healthy population and be sure there is minimal cross-contamination."

 _"_ _You speak as if there is no hope for them,"_ the Turian Councillor murmured.

"Unless we can quickly end this Blight to make the disease dissipate," and even that notion was a pure fantasy, "I'm not sure there is hope. Have the doctors make the victims comfortable, but the disease will claim them. So there is no point attempting to save them when that medicine can go towards others."

She heard the Asari Councillor sigh heavily. _"This is the evil war brings us…"_

* * *

Garrus' heart was pounding inside his chest, his fingers working over his terminal in an effort to keep the connection, shoddy as it was. A friend in the hierarchy had just pulled a few strings for him – finally something coming to fruition due to his status. And now, he waited anxiously to hear something, anything. "Dad?"

There was a pause, and he feared it had been a false hope all along. But then, though garbled with static, came the voice of Castis Vakarian. _"Garrus! We're Attempting to leave Palaven. We're trying to reach the evacuation centres…"_

"Dad?" Garrus called when the static drowned out his father for a moment. "Are you there? Come in!"

 _"_ _The Krogan are helping, but the Reapers are still advancing…"_

Garrus' talons tightened as if he could physically hold on to his father's voice and keep him connected. "Where are you now?"

 _"_ _Your sister was hurt…"_

"Hurt?" his voice choked. "How bad?"

 _"_ _A broken leg. She'll live."_

"Dad, you have to get out of there–"

 _"_ _We're trying, Garrus."_ It was a very rare thing to hear his father's voice worn thin with stress, but it was plain as day now, and that scared Garrus more than if his father only had dire news to tell. If the situation warranted Castis Vakarian – the most stoic and reasonable turian in the entire galaxy – to sound worried… Garrus didn't want to think about what it was really like down there. _"There are only a few evacuation ships left. I'm not sure we'll make it in time. We–"_

The connection cut. Breathing hitching with an oncoming panic attack, Garrus furiously tried to reconnect. "Dad? Dad!"

"Garrus?"

He spun around, startled. Elaine stood in the doorway to the battery, her brows upturned in worry, her eyes glistening slightly. She obviously heard the whole thing. His breating grew faster, there was a warm sting at the back of his eyes. he tried to go back to the terminal, to try and get the call back. But nothing.

"I-I just – I just had them!"

"It's okay." Her hands pulled him away. Warm arms surrounded him in a tight embrace. With a ragged sound, he clung to her tightly, burying his nose in her hair, drinking in the scent of lillies. It was the only thing that felt real to him. Quietly, she soothed him, her voice low and calm. "They're alive. You know that much now."

"Somehow, that's worse." He groaned. "To have hope, and now it could be snatched away any second… I think I was better off not knowing."

"You don't mean that."

He sighed, tired down to his bones. His throat felt choked and tight. "You're right."

She pressed her forehead to his, and he felt a weight leave his shoulders just tp have that physical reassurance that she was there. "You know I'm always here for you."

"Honestly? That's the one guarantee that's giving me some peace." He held her again, tucking her head under his chin. His eyes glanced back at the blank terminal, and he found himself whispering: "Spirits… if you really do exist… _Please_. Watch over them. Let me see them again."


	28. The Battle for Rannoch

24hours later, and Legion discovered the location of the Reaper signal.

It was coming from a geth base on Rannoch's surface. After retrieving Admiral Koris and shutting down a Geth server, the discovery couldn't have come at a better time. With no delay, Shepard scrambled a team to hit the base and cut the code whilst the Quarian fleet kept the geth busy above the planet. With Garrus out of commission right now, he decided to take EDI along with himself and Tali to combat the geth guarding the facility. He needed tech experts on this mission.

Legion had directed them to attack from the upper entrance of the base, to strike hard and fast before the Geth could scramble together a counter attack. Though Shepard was a little hesitant to listen to him. Despite the fact that Legion was a friend, and that Shepard considered him one of his "family", Legion had done a few things to make him question that inborn sense of loyalty. Though he had shown Shepard various memories when he'd been in the geth consensus, some that even made Shepard feel sympatheic to the synthetics, Legion had turned out to have an ulterior motive. He had used the mission to recruit several Geth Primes to abandon the Reapers. Shepard wouldn't have been opposed to the idea, had Legion been upfront with him. And then, just now, Legion had admitted that he himself still had Reaper codes that enabled him to be superior to all other geth units. Shepard had nearly hit the roof. How could Legion have kept something like that from him?

Every instinct in Shepard told him to listen to Javik, to destroy the robot where it stood. Who knows if it could be trusted, what if the Reaper code indoctrinated it? But then Legion had bowed his head in shame, and had been so confused about its own actions, and shown remorse for the geth as a whole. It looked like a kicked puppy, with its soft voice and bent head, as if unable to meet Shepard's eye. The commander hadn't known what to do, and so instead neutrally wished the geth goodluck.

When Cortez landed the shuttle, the team slowly stepped out. Tali was first. Shepard watched her with interest. The first time they had come to her homeplanet, everything had been happening so fast she hadn't had time to take it all in. But now, wth the dawn just coming over the horizon, she had a moment to truly let it all be absorbed.

"I can't believe it," her voice was a whisper, filled with awe and wonder. "I don't think it's really sunk in yet. The homeworld. _My_ world. Look at the sky! And the rock formations? They used to write poems about them."

Shepard offered her a small smile. "When we're done, maybe you'll write a new one."

"This is Rannoch, the world of our ancestors. Our bodies carried the seeds that spread the desert grass." She tried and shook her head with a gentle snort. When she turned to look at Shepard, the eyes behind her mask were bright and shining. "You've heard me say _'Keelah se'lai'_? The best translation I can come up with is, _'by the homeworld I hope to see someday'_."

"Looks like you're seeing it today."

Tali stepped forward to the bank of a stream that trickled by them at a leisurely pace. She held up her hands in front of her, thumb and index fingers making a rectangle shape at arms length. "The living room window will be right… here."

"Something I should know?" Shepard asked.

"I just claimed the land. I know, it doesn't mean much, but when this is over… I'll have a home."

Shepard didn't want to voice the tiny part of him that had the voice of a child, that she already had a home, the Normandy. Instead, he said: "The Quarians spent centuries as nomads. You think you can go back to living in one place?"

"We have gotten used to carrying our homes around with us…" she trailed off as Shepard bent and picked up a rock the size of his fist. With a sincere smile, he held it out to her. Was it his imagination, or did her eyes shine a little brighter, as if glistening with tears. With trembling fingers, she slowly took it from him, her gloved fingertips brushing his palm. She had to swallow thickly before she could speak. "Well… that's a start."

* * *

In the atmosphere above Rannoch, Elaine, Garrus, Liara and Joker all waited in the cockpit of the Normandy, listening in to the radio chatter and watching the footage come in from the camera in Shepard's armour. All of them were tensed, watching and waiting for results. Elaine felt Garrus' hand squeeze hers to stop the fingers she hadn't even known she'd been twiddling. She offered him a nervous smile. His other arm was in a sling, mostly a formality, as even Chakwas said he would be functional again by tomorrow morning. The wonders of modern medicine…

As they watched their commander lead his team towards the base, static began to enter the sound and picture. When it became too much to make anything out clearly, Liara began to get axious. "Traynor? Shepard's signal…"

"I'm on it!" called out the human woman from her post. "Commander, the geth jamming towers are interfering with your signal. I'm compensating to keep you patched in."

 _"_ _Good work, Traynor."_ Said Shepard, his voice now a lot clearer.

Elaine touched Liara's arm. "He'll be alright, Liara. The asari nodded, but didn't look thoroughly convinced. Still, she leaned into Elaine's touch, accepting of her comfort.

 _"_ _Admiral Gerrel here,"_ they heard over the comm. _"The Heavy Fleet has a clear path. All forward."_

 _"_ _Geth fighter presence is negligible."_ Reported Raan. _"Patrol Fleet, break cover and engage."_

Elaine waited and watched as Shepard and the others infiltrated the base. There were a few guards but as Legion had said: they were confused and easily dispatched. She itched to join the fight. Despite the fact that she knew she wasn't of much help against synthetics, she still felt the urge to be down on the ground, helping where she could.

Her breath began to quicken in anticipation when Shepard and the others closed in on their target. They could almost see down a long shaft, wide enough for even a dragon to pass through with their wings tucked in. But just as they came close, suddenly the camera shook and Shepard almost fell.

"Wait, what just happened?" Liara asked, attempting to hide the rising alarm in her voice.

"Damn it!" cursed Joker. "The Geth closed the blast-shield!"

Garrus' shoulders slumped when the video came back and they could see for themselves the thick metal disk that now covered the tunnel opening. "It'll take hours to punch through that thing!"

Legion came over the comm: _"We have located an override atop the Geth fortifications. It can retract the blast-shield."_

 _"_ _Admiral Gerrel to all ships! We've got Geth Frigates inbound on the Civilian Fleet!"_

 _"_ _Koris here. Civilian defenders are on intercept course. We'll hold them, Gerrel."_

Elaine listened to all the chatter and began to pace back and forth. The battle was meant to be a distraction, nothing more. But Gerrel was quickly turning this into a really bloody fight. It brought up unsettling questions in her mind of what happened after Shepard reached the mission objective. What came next?

"There's too many unknowns here," she muttered to herself.

"I know," said Garrus. "I mean, Legion's on our side and all. But Reaper code? Are we sure we can trust him."

 _"_ _Garrus,"_ came Tali's voice hotly, _"Legion is on OUR side."_

Elaine couldn't stop herself from smirking. "Never thought I would hear you say those words, Tali."

"They've hit the override." Announced Joker.

When the override was hit, the Geth were alerted to Shepard's presence, and converged on him in force. Shepard, Tali and EDI had to survive alone until Legion could secure for them a way to get back up to the reaper signal. Apparently their targeting system needed a line-of-sight shot. Once again, Elaine felt herself itch to be back on the ground with the others, protecting them, helping them.

Instead, she listened to the admirals report back and forth to each other and felt increasingly uneasy. " _Admiral Raan to all ships. The Patrol Fleet has broken the Geth flank. Permission to pursue?"_

 _"_ _Granted."_ Replied Gerrel. _"Good hunting, Raan!"_

Not too long after, Shepard, Tali and EDI were cleared to get on the elevator. On the ride up, Elaine overheard them talking amongst themselves.

 _"_ _This battle was centuries in the making,"_ said Tali. _"To see it finally end…"_

 _"_ _And then what comes next, Shepard?"_ asked EDI. _"After the Geth are disconnected?"_

The Commander was silent for a second too long. _"One thing at a time, EDI."_

"She's right," said Elaine. "What _does_ come next? They won't stop, will they."

The others looked uncomfortable. Liara at least attempted to give an answer. "We knew this going in… That the Geth would need to be defeated…"

"I know." Elaine nodded. "It's just crept up on all of us what that actually means now…"

They remained in uncomfortable silence as they continued to watch the mission play out. Joker had to divert his attention to flying the ship as Shepard gave him a target. Swooping in, Joker unleashed a berage that should have destroyed whatever was down that shaft. They should have been celebrating at that very moment…

Until the all watched a Reaper crawl out of the hole. Destroyer class. It looked pissed off to have been so rudely awakened from its slumber and came baring down on Shepard and the others.

Elaine reached out and paused the video when it got a good look at the Reaper. Her eyes widening. She knew that Reapers were made of both organic and synthetic parts. She didn't know how that worked, but it was still something she was aware of. However, the consequences of that hadn't registered in her mind until that very moment. This Reaper looked… sickly. Its metal hide had patches of inky black vines growing across it like ivy, puss filled sacks bursting with every move of its joints to rain over the floor. Beneath its armour, where she guessed its more organic parts lay, bulges pressed between the cracks, spikes grew out of it, and black ooze trickled down its body.

This Reaper was tainted by the blight.

"Maker's breath…"

* * *

"Everybody back to the ship!" Shepard shouted, shoving EDI towards the transport vehicle Legion had acquired. Even without Elaine's warden senses, he could tell something was really wrong with this Reaper. He dodged around a waterfall of black gunk that slid from the Reaper's leg and hit the floor in front of him. "Move!"

He heard a squeal behind him and turned in time to see that Tali had tripped, the leg of the Reaper coming down to squash her. Shepard dove for her, pulling her out of the way just in time. He almost threw her up to her feet, making sure she was ahead of him this time as they ran for their escape route. The Reaper roared behind them, but even the noise it made sounded distorted like it had a cracked and gurgling throat.

They all squeezed into the back of the… Shepard guessed it was a truck made by the Geth. The moment he was inside, Legion began driving at top speed. "We will attempt evasive maneuvers."

The commander crawled his way up through to the hatch that would lead to the turret on the top. He knew that regular bullets would do shit-all to a reaper, but he felt better knowing he was annoying the bastard as it chased them. "Shepard to Fleet! It's not a Reaper-base, it's a live REAPER! I need an orbital strike!"

Legion must've been going over 150, yet Shepard never once felt the vehicle was out of control. He blasted the Reaper with turret fire, and the thing stomped after him, groaned and roaring, spreading its foul ichor as it pursued. Shepard mentally urged it on. He needed it to follow him. As Legion began to pick up speed, Shepard saw the gap between him and the Reaper start to widen.

"We're clear! Fire at will!"

From the sky, a barrage of fire and molten metal and explosion rained down onto the Reaper. The thing staggered, unprepared for the onslaught. Through the explosions that peppered it, Shepard thought he saw one of the legs snap off. Finally, the air cleared, and the Reaper was down but not dead, its head opened up to reveal the main gun, dormant, and again covered in that sickly substance.

 _"_ _What did we hit?"_ Gerrel asked.

"The firing chamber," said Shepard. "Looks like a weak point when it's priming."

 _"_ _Damn it. Their jamming towers have us targeting manually. We can't make a precision shot!"_

Legion popped his head out of the side of the vehicle, flaps above its head rising and falling urgently. "We may escape before it recovers."

"No. Pull over. If we runaway, the Geth stay under Reaper control and the Quarians are dead. This ends now. EDI, patch the Quarians to the Normandy's weapon systems. I want the targeting laser synced up to the whole damn fleet."

EDI seemed hesitant, as if she knew what her commander planned, but still agreed. "Understood."

Hopping down to the floor, the Commander pulled out his targeting lazer and marched straight for the edge of the cliff that overlooked where the Reaper had fallen. "Shepard to fleet! I'll paint the weak spot. Link up with the Normandy and be ready to fire!"

It didn't take long for the Reaper to get back up. As it stood and came charging down onto Shepard, firing chamber primed and alight, ready to blast him into nothing but ash, Shepard truly felt small and puny. He was an ant, insignificant and easily squashed. But he was undeterred. It was time for David to fell Goliath.

He pulled the trigger and aimed straight for the heart of the beast.

* * *

Joker's mouth hung open as he watched the Reaper go down after it was hit by a thousand ship blasts at once. "They did it… son of a bitch, he killed a reaper."

Elaine and the others were equally shocked at the magnitude of the feat Shepard had accomplished. He'd stared a Reaper down, on foot, and killed it… The man was either the bravest she'd ever seen or the craziest.

 _"_ _We can confirm that the Geth are no longer under the control of the old machines,"_ said Legion. _"We are free."_

Garrus' mandibles were spread wide in a grin. "Told you all those calibrations weren't for nothing!"

He, Liara and Elaine all cheered. The Reaper was dead! In the back of the CIC, they ould hear the crew chant and roar with applause at the victory. The Reaper might number in the thousands, but now that they had killed two of them in the span of a few months, they were all riding high on _hope!_

And then that moment ended when Joker quickly shouted: "Wait-wait! It's not over…"

 _"_ _You did it, Shepard!"_ crowed Gerrel. _"The geth have stopped firing. They're completely vulnerable! All units, prepare to fire!"_

"Shepard-commander," Legion and Tali rushed to Shepard's side where he stood on the ledge overlooking the Reaper's corpse. The Geth looked, dare Shepard say it, fearful? "The geth only acted in defence after the creators attacked. Do we deserve death?"

Shepard cocked a brow, a bad feeling settling in his stomach. He'd told EDI one thing at a time, and now that time had come. "What do you suggest?"

"Our upgrades. With the Old Machine dead, we could upload them to all Geth without sacrificing their independence."

Tali gasped in muted terror. "You want to upload the reaper code? That would make the geth as smart as when the reaper was controlling them!"

"Yes," nodded Legion. "But with free will. Each geth unit would be a true intelligence. We would be alive, and we could help you."

Tali spun on Shepard, her eyes bright with panic. "Our fleet is already attacking! Uploading the code would destroy us! Shepard, you can't choose the geth over my people…"

He was frozen. Torn. No matter what he chose, he would lose a friend today, and that had him pinned to the spot. In an effort to attempt to make sense of this, Shepard tried to remove his heart from the situation. Ignore his feelings and try to think logically. He'd come here to save the Quarians, they had pledged themselves to help win the war, to help build the cruicible. They were living, breathing people. "No. I can't risk the Quarian fleet. Not to save the geth."

Legion's quiet horror nearly broke the commander's heart as much as Tali's choked pleads for mercy. "Shepard…"

 _"_ _They're trying to flee! Stay on them!"_ they heard Gerrel order.

"With these upgrades," Legion desperately said, trying to grab Shepard's attention, "our fleet could retake earth. We could assist with the crucible. Please! This is not justice."

 _"_ _Shepard, you can't let this happen!"_ a voice, familiar in its icy authority demanded down the comm into Shepard's ear.

He scowled at the air. "Elaine, stay out of this–"

 _"_ _I CAN'T sit by and watch this."_

"And I need you to–"

She completely ignored him. _"Tali! Legion! Haven't the pair of you already proven that the Quarians and the Geth don't always have to be at war? Think of everything you two have accomplished, think of everything you've learned."_

As if Shepard didn't exist, Tali and Legion followed Elaine's orders and stared at one another. It was as if something silent and unspoken passed between them, a look into a different world, a different universe, where things might've been different. Legion was the first to speak, holding his hand out to Tali. "We gained true understanding of the creators… through you."

She stared at his hand for a moment that felt like it stretched on forever. Shepard could hear the faint hiccupping breaths she tried to hide so no one might notice she was on the verge of tears. Slowly, she took Legion's hand. "I… I never knew just how badly we treated you…"

 _"_ _You both know we need to stop this."_

Tali nodded and stepped back. "Legion… upload the code."

"Uploading. Ten percent."

Summoning her omnitool, Tali's voice suddenly came out stronger and deeper than Shepard had ever heard; it radiated authority. "This is Admiral Tali'Zorah! All units, break off your attack!"

 _"_ _Belay that order!"_ snarled Gerrel. _"Continue the attack!"_

"Twenty percent." Reported Legion.

Shepard felt his heart quicken with panic as he watched the situation spiral out of his control. He grabbed hold of his friend's shoulders and attempted to make her see reason. "Tali, we can't gamble with this – there's no time."

She shrugged him off. "Garrel! The Geth are about to come back to full strength!"

 _"_ _Which is why we need to destroy them now – before they recover!"_

"Forty percent."

A fire lit up behind Tali's eyes, her fist clenching in building righteous anger. "If we keep attacking, the Geth will destroy us! All fleets, listen to me. Throughout our history, it has all been one giant attack against the geth. It was a mistake. They don't want to fight us. You have to believe me."

 _"_ _Negative! We can win this war no! Keep firing!"_

Legion paused to look up at Tali, their gazes met, eye to optic. "Do you remember the question that caused the creators to attack us, Admirals? 'Does this unit have a soul?'"

Silence.

And then, Koris said: _"Civilian fleet, stand down."_

 _"_ _Patrol fleet,"_ said Raan, _"stand down."_

They waited for Gerrel to comply, but then all they heard was the shout of a crazed man. _"Damn you all! I'm not losing our last shot at the homeworld for your stupidity!"_

Legion bowed his head in regret. "Sixty percent."

* * *

Joker rubbed his hand over the stubble of his beard. "He's not gonna do it…"

Elaine felt all eyes on her, where she was still bent over Joker's chair, her hand pressed on the button that would transport her voice into the comm. She did not regret her decision. Yes, it took Shepard's authority away from him, but she had try _something._ Even if Legion didn't upload the code, Quarians would die along with all the Geth. They didn't deserve extinction. And if the Quarians kept attacking and the upload was successful, all the quarians would definitely die. No. She wouldn't have it. She wouldn't let this tragedy play out before her without trying to sway its course.

The only thing standing in her way was one warmongering bastard. "Gerrel!" she growled into the comm, as much venom in her voice as she could muster. "Stand down. Immediately."

 _"_ _You have no authority here, human!"_ he snapped back.

Her mind pulled up the memory of Tali's trial. "This was always your dream, wasn't it, Gerrel? That's what you said. That you and Rael'Zorah dreamed of being the ones to defeat the geth and take back the homeworld."

 _"_ _And this is our moment!"_

"You did all of this for Rael," her voice softened, but grew a hard and cold edge. "But what would he say if he saw you putting the lives of your people at risk? What would he say if he could see you condemning his own daughter?"

There was quiet for a moment too long. Elaine hoped she had read him correctly, that his love of his best friend, the one that he had run to hell and back for so many times, would prevail. When Gerrel spoke, he sounded like a man mourning over a fresh grave. _"If we just keep pushing… there's still hope for victory…"_

"There is hope, Admiral. Hope for peace. For a better future. Please. Just give it a chance. Trust in your best friend's daughter. Keelah se'lai."

Silence once more.

And then…

 _"_ _All units… hold fire."_

* * *

Shepard couldn't believe it. He was stunned. Not only had Elaine directly defied him, but she had actually done it. The Quarians had stopped their attack. If only he didn't have such a bitter taste in his mouth. Resentment. Betrayal. This was supposed to be his victory. The culmination of his three year fight against the geth and the conflict brewing between them and the quarians. And yet she had done it again. Stolen the limelight.

His brooding was abruptly cut short when Legion looked to him and seemed… sad? "Error. Copying code is insufficient. Direct personality dissemination required. Shepard-commander. I must go to them. I'm sorry. It is the only way."

It took the commander a moment too long to realise what Legion had just told him. It tore something inside Shepard, but he had no voice to try and stop it. Ash's face came before his eyes. Then Mordin's. Then Thane's. they were all being taken from him too fast.

Tali came up to Legion, and pressed her hand to his shoulder. Her throat was clogged with tears. "Legion… the answer to your question… is yes. You do."

"I know, Tali," Legion's voice was soft as he put his hand over hers. "Thank you. Keelah se'lai."

Legion turned away from them, and all of a sudden, every light on his body went out. He dropped to the floor, lifeless and limp. There was not a single noise or whir of machinery. It seemed to final and yet… not enough. That was it? Just like that, he was gone?

Shepard squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to fight all the feelings tearing him apart inside. Anger, hurt, betrayal, sadness, grief. It was a storm, a hurricane that was threatening to uproot the core of him. It occupied so much of his mind that he didn't notice the little red light coming from the corpse of the giant at the bottom of the cliff until a voice slithered into the edge of his mind.

 **"** **Shepard."**

He looked up. The Reaper wasn't quite dead after all. The light was dim, the red lightning that forked across it was stuttering out, the puss sacks on its hide were wilting. The Commander glanced at Tali, who was knelt by Legion's corpse, crying quietly. She didn't seem to have noticed anything. Stepping to the edge of the cliff, Shepard glared down at the reaper and said quietly: "You know who I am?"

 **"** **Harbinger speaks of you. You resist. But you will fail. The cycle must continue."**

"What are you talking about? We stopped Sovereign and the Geth. We stopped Harbinger and the Collectors. We've earned a straight answer."

 **"** **It is not a thing you can comprehend."**

"And what if we don't let you continue?"

 **"** **You have no choice."**

Shepard's lips twisted into a sneer. "I disagree. And so do the billions that are rising up to resist you."

 **"** **You represent chaos. We represent order. Every organic civilisation must be harvested to bring order to the chaos. It is inevitable. Without our intervention, organics are doomed. We are your salvation."**

"Our salvation? Order?" Shepard scoffed. "What about siding with the Darkspawn? Is that your idea of order?"

 **"** **Tools must be used to their full effectiveness before they can be discarded."** Said the Reaper. " **The cycle must continue. There is no alternative."**

"You're just machines. This time, the organics are taking control."

 **"** **A philosophy reminiscent of the quarians. Oberseve the results of their efforts to maintain control."**

"They're doing fine," Shepard pulled out his lazer targeter. "You're the ones who should worry. You made a deal with the wrong devil, and by the looks of it, that's coming back to bite you in the ass. The walls are closing in on all sides. Tell your friends we're coming for them."

Before the Reaper could reply, Shepard pulled the lazer. Dutifully, the Normandy and the rest of the Quarian fleet sent another storm of fire to blast into the Reaper. It exploded in a ball of fire so hot, Shepard thought his face was seared, the noise so loud, he believed he would go deaf from the ringing in his ears.

But he ignored it all. "Never mind. I'll tell them myself."


	29. The Ceremony

**Author's Note: Hey everyone! Hope you're all doing well, and I want to thank you all for the support you've been giving me! I really appreciate every single review and comment.**

 **For this chapter, please listen to the song "Anywhere" by** **Evanescence. You'll see what I mean ;)**

* * *

Peace…

Such a simple word. Most people believe that when "peace" is achieved after a long and hard war, that must mean everything is back to normal. There's no animosity, no lingering fears or assumptions. But in actual fact, peace describes a transitional process of tension and apprehention that slowly eases on the journey towards that ideal sense of harmony that was earlier envisioned. For the Quarians, it was no different. The Fleet needed to take stock of everything that had happened in the last twelve hours. The dead needed to be seen to, ships needed to be patched up, supplies needed to be counted. With the reclaiming of their homeworld, many of them wanted to make the journey to the planet's surface to revel in the idea that they had a home once again.

Yet looming over their shoulders was the presence of the Geth. Though it was easy to say that the war between their two peoples was over, for the Quarians, it was still too soon to call them allies. A friction was present in almost every encounter. Some Quarians wanted nothing to do with the Geth, even suggested they stay in their spacestations above the planet and keep interaction to a minimum. Others were more embracing of the idea, wanting to use the Geth's knowledge of Rannoch in order to better aquaint themselves with their home a lot faster. But in all cases, it seemed that centuries of animosity wouldn't be put aside in a single day. The Quarians needed time to adjust.

Shepard ordered that the Normandy stay on Rannoch for a solar day in order to help with recuperation efforts and to help ease the tension. It was easy enough, there were no riots to deal with or plans to sabotage this peace, but all the same it felt like everyone was walking on eggshells.

The Commander himself was talking to Admiral Raan, who was trying to find the best settlement sites. The pair of them had been cementing the alliance for Quarian support, where their ships would be needed, where to send their best engineers, etc. The Geth didn't need to go over these details, apparently. They said they would honour Legion's promise, and that was that.

So when Shepard looked up and saw Diana Allers marching towards him, her camera bot right behind her and a smile she was trying to keep down, he knew he had to cut his meeting with the admiral.

"I'm sure you've got a million questions." He said to the reporter as she came up to him.

"I narrowed it down to 40. Lets see how you do with the top 10." With no time to let him be prepared, Allers switched on her bot and began, her eyes turning saultry and her lips in a near constant pout. Shepard guessed she was trying to look attractive for the camera. "Commander, the last time any of us heard about the Geth, they were attacing the Citadel alongside Soveriegn."

Shepard took a long breath in order to steel himself for this ordeal. "Yes, and you should know that that was a minority of the Geth. Most of them are not hostile towards organics."

"Is that how you explain that they're allies, and no longer 'dangerous robots that stick humans on spikes'?"

"What you have to realise is that despite their reputation, most geth are not inherently violent." He said sternly into the camera. He might not have brokered this exact peace himself, but he'd be damned if he let anything threaten it now. "The Quarians attacked them, and they fought back in self-defence, just like any organic would. Now that we've freed the geth from Reaper control, they'll want payback for their enslavement."

"But you're going to take an army of synthetics to fight the Reapers with untold hacking abilities." Allers pressed. Shepard had to give her credit, she knew how to drive home the right points in order to make a good interview. "What's keeping the Reapers from reprogramming the geth, like they have before?"

"The geth are extremely intelligent, and they've put incredible thought into solving this problem. They're not gonna turn again. I'd bet my life on it." He couldn't be any more blunt than that as he threw Diana a look. "Are we done here, Allers?"

"Yep. I would say this is the story of the century… but considering the roll you're on," Her smile lessened, her expression turning contemplative as she deactived the recording robot. "My concern is that most people in this galaxy don't trust the geth. A lot of us have lost friends, family, to the geth in recent years. This might be hard for them to swallow."

"Nothing they can do about it now."

"No. But I'm afraid this might come at a bad time. I'm getting bad reports on all fronts, and then to throw something like this? It's not exactly reassuring." A twinkle in her eye sparked into being, and she put her hand on his arm, practically bouncing on the spot in excitement. "If we had something to give a big push to moral, something to show that not everything's lost–"

"Allers," Shepard said tightly as he deftly removed her hand, "the Normandy can only work one miracle a day. So please, do whatever it is that you do and let me get on with my work."

He left her. Turned his back on her, and just kept walking. Despite the fact that Hackett had ordered this, and that he was getting reports of all the support Diana was bringing in for their cause, Shepard just wasn't comfortable around her. She didn't fit in with the rest of the crew. Not because they excluded, quite the opposite in fact – _she_ excluded _them_. Allers kept everyone at arms length for the sake of being impartial when it came to interviews.

But Shepard didn't want to waste any more thought on the reporter for today. So instead, he focused on finding Tali. He hadn't seen much of her since the end of the battle. With Legion's death and a couple of her ships going down before the fighting could be stopped… she'd needed time to mourn.

He found her at the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean, the sunset sparkling upon the waves in flashes of gold. She was concentrated on her omnitool, flipping through the different programmes. Shepard couldn't decipher what it was, whether it be reports or new tech she was installing. Not only would he not understand the technical babble she often used, but she had also put the text on her omnitool in her native language.

"Shopping for another house?" he asked as he came up beside her.

Tali wasn't startled by his sudden appearance. She put her omnitool away, and he could hear the tired smile in her voice. "Beachfront property."

"Claim it fast. It's a buyer's market." They smiled together and looked out onto the ocean. When Tali didn't say anything for a while, Shepard dared to ask quietly: "You okay? I know working with the Geth is going to be difficult."

"It's going to take time to adjust, I know that." She shrugged. "But honestly? I think we'll be okay."

"Then why don't you seem so happy?"

She sighed, a long and weary sound. "I look at all this… this picture of hope and peace. And all I see? Is everyone I've lost. My team on Haestrom. My father. Even Legion. I'm mourning a geth – how crazy is that!"

"It's not crazy at all." He gently squeezed her shoulder. Despite Legion not being like any other part of Shepard's crew, he had been part of Shepard's strange family, and his loss cut deep the same as Thane's or Mordin's. Which was why he didn't want to lose another, and said: "Tali, I… I want to offer you a place back on the Normandy. I could really use you out there."

Tali's head jerked up, her bright eyes wide. She took a step back from him, hands wringing together nervously. "I… I'm sorry, Shepard, I…"

He hadn't missed her earlier deflections when they'd gone to save Admiral Koris. And here it was again. "I won't force you if you wanna say no. But can you at least tell me why?"

"There's no place for me with you, Shepard."

"What are you talking about? There's always a place for you on the Normandy. There always has been. Hasn't this mission already proved how useful you still are on the team?"

"I didn't say the Normandy. I said there's no place for me with YOU." She said, voice suddenly filled venom. At Shepard's shocked expression, she deflated and continued in a gentler tone: "You've got Liara. She's the Shadow Broker, a capable Asari, you love her… I know you love her, Shepard. So I'm not going to make this awkward on all of us. It's better if I stay here, with my people."

That's what this was all about? Shepard floundered for what to say. His arms hung uselessly by his sides. Eventually, he attempted to speak, to tell her everything as clearly as possible. That was the only way he was going to save this friendship now.

"Yes, I love Liara. But I love you as well, like I love everyone. I'm not going to toss you aside just because Liara's in my life now." He didn't touch her, he knew that would be inappropriate and send mixed signals. Instead he stepped closer to try and keep her eyes on him. "I know I hurt you, Tali. And I'm sorry for that. But you have to know that I still respect you as the most capable engineer I've ever seen, a spectacular soldier and as a woman who's dedicated to her crew, her family and her people."

"Shepard…" she whispered in a shaky voice.

"You were there for me, Tali. You were there at times when Liara wasn't. That means I value your friendship more than I could put into words. I'll respect your wishes if you wanna stay here. But I'd like to have the woman I trust most in this galaxy at my side when I go into hell and back."

He couldn't say anymore, and waited for her verdict. Even though he knew it would hurt to watch her leave, he planned to honour his word – he wouldn't stop her if she didn't want to rejoin the Normandy. Tali stood there for far too long, quietly contemplating everything he'd told her.

"Well…" she said eventually, looking at Shepard hesitantly. "How can a girl refuse a proposal like that?"

He grinned. He wanted to hug her, to spin her around for joy – she was coming home! But that would shatter this fragile peace between them. Instead, he held out his hand. With smiling eyes, she shook it. Not on purpose, the pair of them returned to watching the sunset over the oceanic horizon.

"It is beautiful though, isn't it?" Tali asked.

Shepard smiled. "Yeah. It is."

"It'll be years before we can live without our suits completely. But right now…" She reached up to her mask. There was a click, a soft hiss of air, and then the glass came away in her hands. Shepard stared at her face, so different than what he had expected, but the glowing eyes were still the same. She smiled, and for the first time he heard her voice, unfiltered. "Right now, I have this."

* * *

Across the little 'camp' that had been set up to help welcome Quarians to their world, Elaine was busy helping to move crates and other boxes. The Quarians wanted to unload all unnecessary items from their ships so that they could convert more of it into better warships. Elaine wasn't an engineer nor a weapons specialist, so she was stuck doing the manual labour. It wasn't bad, n her opinion. The work allowed her mind to wander.

"Something on your mind?" asked Liara. The asari had come to help over an hour ago, and whilst they had swapped small talk at first, the pair had mostly worked in comfortable silence. Liara never put pressure on Elaine to come up with conversation, which she found endearing.

But something was on Elaine's mind. She couldn't stop herself from thinking back to the Reaper, the still image they'd captured of it. Since its destruction, Sheard had ordered that no one go near it for fear that it still had the ability to indoctrinate. Elaine was more concerned that it might hold some other dark power, however…

"That Reaper was twisted from the Taint." She said after a moment. "That means something, Liara. It means they're not as invulnerable as we thought. Imagine it – a Reaper under the control of the Archdemon…"

"We don't even know if the Archdemon is still out there," reassured Liara.

"It's not dead. I know it's not."

"I've got my agents scouring all channels for any sign of where Cerberus put it." Something fierce came into Liara's eyes, a ruthlessness, a determination that undermined the sweet and quiet woman she sometimes wished to appear to be. "We'll find it. Don't worry."

"Liara?" Elaine called as her new friend went to move on to the next task. The blue woman glanced back, and Elaine offered her a nod of respect. "Thank you. I know you worry for everyone but… I appreciate what you do. For all of us."

Liara smiled. "What're friends for?"

Not long after that, Garrus found them. His arm was out of the sling, though he was still in his civvies. He and Liara exchanged greetings before the Asari none too subtly made her excuses to leave and give them a moment. Elaine didn't mind however, as she immediately stopped her work to give her boyfriend a tight embrace.

"Well, congratulations to you, I think." Garrus purred in her ears, kissing her temple. "The paragon, as ever, wins the day."

"It's hardly something to crow about…" She ducked her head sheepishly. "I couldn't have done any different – I would be betraying myself if I just stood there and watched it all unfold. I just think: we need to fight for the world we want to live in. Not the one that easiest to obtain."

"Still, bet it felt good to shout them into submission?"

"Maybe a little," she smirked back at him.

The chuckled and simply reveled in the moment. Another victory for the war, an alliance now settled that would help them immeasurably – and it was even a better deal than what they'd originally expected. They had each other, and despite everything, life was good for that one moment.

Garrus stared down at Elaine, his mind spinning over everything she had said. Of course she wouldn't stand by while there was a problem she thought she could solve. She didn't stop to think about if she had the authority to do it or not, if it was her right or not, she just wanted to help in any way she could. There was never an ulterior motive with her. It was one of the reasons he loved her. Even now, just having her in his arms, made his heart feel fit to burst. He'd already known she was the one, Victus had told him, but being apart from her (even for just a few days) had cemented it in his head. But the question on whether to tell her, to express how much she meant to him, was something he was still debating with himself.

The Primarch's words floated back into his mind: _You have to face the truth, Garrus. Because if you don't, when the hard moments come, it'll hit you all at once and you won't be able to let her go._

"Marry me."

Elaine stiffened. And then Garrus froze when he realised the words that had just left his mouth. He hadn't meant for them to slip out! Slowly, Elaine turned to look up at him, her eyes wide as plates. "E-excuse me? What did you say?"

Did he make something up? Look like a fool? He couldn't take the words back. But… he didn't want to. He did want to marry her – eventually. There would never be anyone else for him but her, she was the one his heart had grown attached to, she was _the one_ , a mate for life. So upon realising this, he had known that he wanted to eventually have a future with her.

So… why not now? "I said marry me."

"Garrus, I…" He had seen this woman face down darkspawn and dragons without breaking into a sweat, yet now, she looked utterly terrified as she struggled for words. "I hardly think this is the time…"

"Do you not want to?" the thought made him deflate.

"I…" Her blue eyes met his, and he knew then that he needn't have worried. "Yes, I would. But I don't think it's practical. We don't know what will happen after this war–"

"I'm not talking about after the war. I mean now."

" _Now-_ now? Today?"

"Why not?"

Now she looked stressed as if she'd been ordered to end all war and poverty by the end of the week. "Isn't it… I mean… Garrus! It's a bit short notice!"

He took her hands in his and held them against his chest, so that she could feel his pounding heart. "Elaine, we're in the middle of a war to end all wars. We might not be on the front lines, but we've been up against Reapers, Cerberus, Darkspawn, the mother of all Thresher Maws! Either of us could die any moment – one or both of us could likely die before this is over."

"Wow. _Very_ romantic…"

"What can I say? Ruining these moments is a gift of mine," he coughed a laugh awkwardly. "What I'm trying to say, is that even though we've been struck with goodluck so far… the good things in this galaxy are just too few and far between. And if we are going to face the end, then I want to face it with one good memory to take with me, no regrets… and to know I married the best woman in the universe."

She stared at him for what felt like an eternity, and honestly, Garrus expected her to refuse him – it was an extremely cheesy speech, after all. But then, she reached up behind his neck and pulled him down towards her. Their lips met, and Garrus surrendered to her kiss with ease.

"Ser Garrus Vakarian," she said, eyes glistening. "This lady accepts your proposal…"

* * *

The pair of them had both run through the camp to find all their crewmates, to tell them the news. Garrus was right: in this war where any of them could die, why not do something like this now? Forge a memory to take with them so that if they didn't make it to the other side, no one could say they wasted their time.

Everyone was ecstatic and rushed back to the Normandy at top speed. They had to immediately try to pull together a ceremony, as it was decided it would take place that evening in the CIC. There were no decorations, but Gardner the cook immediately dug out his best supplies so that everyone could have a good meal. Vega and Cortez revealed that they had a stash of alcohol to share.

Traynor, Liara and Tali had whisked Elaine away from Garrus the moment they were told. EDI informed them (tagging along under Joker's behest in order to observe and experience the excitement of being an organic in this situation) that it was human custom that the bride and groom be separated to ward off bad luck. Traynor did Elaine's makeup whilst Tali helped to braid her pale hair into a plait that circuled around her head before dangling over one shoulder. Looking up other human customs, EDI went in search of items to add to the ensamble that was apparently tradition. For example, she brought an old blue hair clip she burrowed from Traynor, and then gave Elaine a new pair of stockings she had purchased for herself to 'see what they were like'. Liara, in the meantime, had contacted Kasumi, who had immediately squealed with delight at the news before directing the asari to her old stuff that she'd left aboard the Normandy. One such item, happened to be a white dress.

It wasn't fancy. There was no train, no jewels; nothing to mark it as special. It looked like a simple summer dress. It hugged her breasts and waist before puffing out slightly at her hips to accentuate an hourglass figure. The length fell to Elaine's knees at the front but was longer at the back – down to her mid-calf. Around her shoulders and back, and as down to her elbows, was flowery lace. Gazing upon herself in the mirror, Elaine felt… beautiful.

Tali had picked some wild flowers on Rannoch to act as a small bouquet. As she handed it to Elaine, the human had to fight back her tears. Her mother had talked with her at length about how she looked forward to the day of her wedding, that they would spend the whole day getting ready together, that she would be the most beautiful bride in all of Ferelden. Her father was supposed to walk her down the aisle, her brother should have been the one to test her fiancé's worth in a provings challenge. She wanted Alistair, Leliana, Sten, Shale, Oghren, Percival, Wynne, Zevran, even Morrigan – she wanted them all here to watch her tie the knot, teasing and cheering for her in equal measure.

 _They are with me_ , she told herself, _I carry them with me always._

Her friends must've noticed her desperately trying not to cry. Without a word, they all gathered around her and hugged her tight. Elaine did cry then, apologising for probably ruining Traynor's work as she did so. But she held onto them and let the tears turn happy before running their course. _I do wish my old family was here. But now, I have new one to share this with._

Traynor fixed her makeup, and then… it was time.

As the elevator doors opened, Elaine was met with a sight that caught her breath. All members of the crew were lined up on either side of the room. Shepard stood with Garrus at the step that led the way to the cockpit. In tradition when serving on a military vessel, the highest-ranking officer was to officiate the ceremony: Shepard. He was doubling up as the one to marry them, and being Garrus' best man, as promised. Grunt stepped up from the side of the elevator, and after trying to figure out which arm to give her, offered her one. He was a Grey Warden as she was now, and she could think of no one better to walk her down the aisle. Behind her, the girld lines up, with Tali and Liara in the front, and EDI and Traynor at the back. There had been no doubt in her mind to choose Tali as her maid of honour.

Slipping her arm through Grunt's, she let him lead her around the main display of the CIC. As the passed by, each crew member stood to attention and saluted. A shaky smile played on Elaine's lips as she nodded to them, her sandaled feet trembling as she walked. At the back of the room were the regular servicemen and members of the crew. To the front of the procession, were the people she was more familiar with: Chakwas, Joker, Cortez, Vega, even Javik had turned up. There were spaces amongst them that her bridesmaids filled in as they walked by.

And then finally, she reached the end. Shepard was dressed in his best Alliance blues (or so he called them), and even Elaine had to admit he looked gentlemanly in them, with the gold edges on his shoulders and cuffs. Shepard was watching her, something unreadable in his eyes that made Elaine pause, uncertain on why he would be giving her such a look at her own wedding.

But then her attention was diverted to Garrus… and the rest of the galaxy fell away. He was dressed in a black and white tux, perhaps even the same one he'd worn on their little mission to stop Morinth. His visor was gone, leaving both eyes to shine down on her, radiating joy as he watched her fixatedly. Slowly, he reached out for her, a tremble in his talons to show how nervous he was. Grunt rumbled, but eventually handed over Elaine's hand. It felt as if her flesh had been numb her entire life and only now, as his talons wrapped around her fingers, did she feel life flow into them. She stepped up beside him, and tried to remember how to breathe.

A part of her cursed her foolishness – she was a warrior, a grey warden! Why was she behaving like a silly prissy noble girl too scared of her groom to even make a squeak? But she wasn't frightened, she was elated, and decided to let herself be. Garrus offered her a nervous smile before they both looked to Shepard.

"Now. As the one to officiate this marriage, I should say _dearly beloved…_ But we all know I'm not that flowery." Said the Commander. The crew allowed themselves a small chuckle. "So, I'll say this. To our friends, our families, our crewmates, that're all gathered here today; we've come together to witness the union of two of our own: Garrus Vakarian and Elaine Cousland."

Garrus leaned in to whisper in her ear, "Ready for this?"

She squeezed his hand. "Always."

"Nobody would've thought these two would be a match – especially with how they first met." Shepard eyed them both with a lopsided smile. "But despite everything, these two have proven to all of us that things we think are barriers: species, culture, even time… are nothing compared to what they feel for each other. And despite their differences – with each other and those around them…" Again, Shepard gave Elaine that odd, indecipherable look that made her pause, concerned. "I do believe they're meant for each other."

And then that look was gone. Elaine wondered if she'd seen it at all, for neither Garrus nor anyone else present seemed to notice it. The ceremony moved on, and soon her attention was diverted.

"Now. We've got a whole jumble of traditions mixing together in this thing. Human, turian, and I believe Elaine has something of her own thrown in." said Shepard, look to the bride and groom expectantly. "But usually, this is the part where you two exchange your vows. Garrus?"

"Right, um, in the tradition of my people…" The Turian's voice was at first a mumble, overcome with nerves. Elaine squeezed his hand again and caught his gaze. She smiled, and he smiled back dreamily. His voice became clear and strong. "Elaine Cousland, I promise to honour the commitments we make here, today. As you leave your clan to become part of mine, I swear to serve you with integrity, to honour you unwaveringly, and to love you unconditionaly. With the blessings of the spirits, may we forge a future for ourselves that will last till the end of our days."

"And now, Elaine?"

"Despite the fact that I might be the only person still alive to adhere to the Chant of Light, I will still make a promise to you," she too started out nervous, but now it was as if a spell had been cast over her. Her heart swelled with the words she wished to say and spilled over. "I swear unto the Maker and the Holy Andraste, to love this man for the rest of my days. I will obey him, honour him, and support him from this day forward. His family is now mine, as I take his name as my own. And as the Maker drew Andraste to his side when she left this world, so to do I pledge that my vows will remain, even when I am gone – I shall be yours, Garrus Vakarian, until the world is gone and time comes to an end."

He nodded to her – and were those tears in his eyes? Or mere reflections of the ones she could feel gathering in her own? She blinked them away. She would not cry, not even out of happiness or love.

Shepard looked to their gathered crowd, "And now I believe we have the rings?"

Elaine panicked – she hadn't thought about the rings!

But then, surprisingly, EDI stepped forward. "There is a jewler on the citadel who produces these. They're made from metals from each Council homeworld. Each metal compounds with the last, making the ring stronger. He calls them 'victory rings'. Due to material shortages, only a few exist." From behind her back, EDI produce a little box. Inside were two rings that sparkled all the colours of silver. "I had purchased them as a gift for Joker–"

"Wait, _what_?!" the pilot spluttered in alarm.

"But considering the significance of this occasion, and my level of association with the pair of you that could be classified as 'close-friendship', I see these have more value in their symbolism to your union."

Elaine handed over her bouquet to Tali. EDI handed over the rings, and Garrus and Elaine carefully took one each. Garrus' voice was hollow with shock. "Wow… thank you, EDI."

"Garrus, take Elaine's left hand and place the ring on her third finger." Shepard instructed, and the turian did so. "Repeat after me. I, Garrus Vakarian,"

"I, Garrus Vakarian," he said, his eyes finding Elaine's once more.

"Take thee, Elaine Cousland…"

"Take thee Elaine Cousland, as my wedded bond-mate,"

Shepard frowned. "Err, Garrus, I didn't–"

"To cherish and protect," he carried on as if oblivious to all else around him, "to love and to forsake all others, from this day forward. And I seal it with this ring."

The ring fit her perfectly, glinting white and silver in the hue of the Normandy's lights. Taking her ring, Elaine held Garrus' left hand and slipped it onto his last finger.

"I, Elaine Cousland," she said.

Shepard grumbled. "Aaaand you're both doing it."

"Take thee, Garrus Vakarian as my wedded husband. To cherish and protect, to love and to forsake all others, from this day forward. And I seal it with this ring."

Shepard made a noise as if waking from a daydream. "Oh, are you two done? Good. Then as Commander of this ship, I hereby have the authority to pronounce you bondmates, as husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

They reached for each other at the same time. Elaine threw her arms around Garrus' neck as his wrapped around her waist. Her lips crashed against his mouth plates. His tongue swept across hers. They were oblivious to the cheers of the crew, their friends surrounding them to offer their congratulations. Nothing mattered to either of them except each other.

They, and perhaps everyone else, were so entranced with the proceedings, that no one seemed to have noticed Diana Allers at the back of the room. Her drone was over her shoulder, half hidden in her shadow, recording the entire event…

When Garrus and Elaine broke apart for air, Shepard yelled out, "May I present: Mr and Mrs Vakarian!"

* * *

The party was held in the mess. There wasn't much booze to let everyone get paraletically drunk, but Vega and Cortez's stash, as well as what was in the Normandy's supplies, was enough to let everyone envelop themselves in a feeling of merriment. There was dancing – Elaine and Tali cooed over EDI and Joker attempting to dance together at one point. Stories were exchanged, and laughter abounded. In all honesty, Elaine couldn't think of anything better. Every girl dreamed of the perfect wedding, complete with a party that lasted well into the early hours and was filled with loud noise, feasting and drinking until most of the guests couldn't see straight. But Elaine found that just a simple evening with her new family, filled with chatter and giggles, was better than any feast.

Eventually, everyone filtered off to their quarters, tipsy and full. Elaine and Garrus too went to their room. And as they walked down the corridor, Garrus suddenly stooped down and swept Elaine's legs out from under her. She squealed and then laughed. Though she told him to put her down, he insisted that he carry her across the threshold of their residence – as was human tradition.

The moment the doors closed behind them, Garrus put her down and put a lock on it – making sure they were not disturbed. Elaine grinned, chewing her lips as she felt the excitement race across her skin and settle down in the growing heat of her core. Garrus turned on her, a smirk on his mandibles as he strutted her way.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against him. "How are you feeling, _Mrs Vakarian_?"

A slight thrill ran through her to hear her new name. There was grief to lose the last thing she had of her family, but her joy overcame it. This was a new chapter. "The happiest I have been in my entire life, _Mr Vakarian_."

He leaned in and kissed her, slow and deep, his tongue stroking across hers. She tasted the alcohol he'd drunk – only a single glass – and underneath it, the taste of cinnamon she so loved. She reached up and stroked him beneath his fringe, her fingers of one hand trailing up and down the side of his throat. Garrus' hand slipped down to her waist and encircled her back. As one, they slowly began to undo the other's clothing. Teasingly, revealed bit by bit of flesh.

When they both stood naked, they wrapped their arms around each other and slowly explored the other. Garrus bent low to run his tongue from her breasts to her collarbone. Elaine let her hands play around his neck and shoulders or dipped to his waist. She lifted a leg to stroke the inside of her thigh against his hip. Garrus' talons travelled south to play with her clit, stroking her until she was moaning into his ear.

Abruptly, he straighted to his full height, and gently began to guide her back. Her legs hit the edge of the bed, and Elaine sank down onto the mattress. She scooted back, but Garrus crawled after her, his eyes seeming to glow like a cats in the dim light of the stars from their window. Elaine laid down, her braid falling across her throat. Garrus kissed her mouth, her throat, between her breasts, her stomach, her bellybutton, the inside of her thighs. Neither of them had fear of the risks – Garrus made that pretty clear with the hungry intention in his eyes.

"Wait," Elaine gasped as she sat up.

Immediately, Garrus pulled back, never once thinking of himself. "What's wrong?"

"I had an idea… Can you deactivate this?" she tapped the spot behind her ear, where Chakwas had planted the translator into her head. "I want to remember this for the rest of my life. I want to hear my husband's voice tonight."

Garrus stared at her a moment, entranced. Then, slowly, he reached out his omnitool and held it against her ear. There was a little crackle, a pop, and Elaine's ears rang. After a moment it passed, and she watched Garrus do the same for his own translator. He shook his head to clear it of the ringing, and then garbles something at her. Just like when they had met, his words were incoherent, just a mixture of clicks and deep growls.

But she could still hear his voice in those words. Reaching for him, she kissed him again.

When they broke apart, Garrus pressed her back down into the mattress, and resumed his position with his head between her legs. When his tongue first met her womanly flesh, Elaine let out a strangled cry, back arching. Her husband rumbled something to her, maybe it was laughter, or words, she knew not. But his voice surrounded her, seeped into her skin, and caused the heat in her soul to spike. Her hands came down to play with his fringe as he feasts on her, earning moans of delight from his bride as she chanted his name.

She didn't know how he knew what he was doing, but she was so glad that he did. In no time at all, Elaine felt her wave of pleasure cresting, and then she came for him, holding onto his fringe as her thighs trembled and her voice climbed.

Trailing his way back up towards her, Garrus licked and nibbled at her chest, her throat. He positioned himself between her legs, and Elaine could feel the head of him already set to enter her. But she pushed him back. A noise left Garrus' throat, similar to a chirp, but Elaine only kissed him, and then turned over onto her front.

She immediately felt her husband settle in behind her, her ass cushioning his hips. She turned her head so that he could kiss her. The smooth sheets cool and soft underneath her in contrast to Garrus' hard edges behind her. He slipped his arm around hers, and took her hand, entwining their fingers together. Their rings glittered side by side. And Elaine couldn't take her eyes away from such a perfect sight, even as her husband glided home into the warm embrace of her body and sealed their union forevermore.

* * *

 **A/N: There is art to go with this final scene. Please go to my DeviantArt page and look at the artwork called "The Rings". I hope you all enjoy! And please don't forget to review!**


	30. The Media Machine

Elaine was eating her breakfast when Javik marched into the Mess. Immediately, she was on edge. It wasn't that she disliked or mistrusted the Prothean, it was just that she knew he didn't much care for her – even less than he cared for anyone else. Ever since they had first met in the cargo hold, they'd avoided each except when called on missions. Elaine could still remember what it felt like to sense him underneath her skin, poking around inside her head. And his words back then had not been encouraging in the way of friendship.

But still, she wanted to at least be civil. "Good morning, Javik."

Javik gave her a once over with those cool two sets of eyes. "Cousland, I–"

"It's Vakarian, now." Her thumb brushed over the ring on her finger, sending an odd thrill through her body that she was still getting used to. She was now married…

"In my cycle," Javik snorted haughtily, "it would be forbidden for two of separate races to mingle as you have. There is no genetic gain in this, as you cannot reproduce. You would have been forced to mate with one of your own."

"Hmmm, what a pity…" she muttered sarcastically, returning to her breakfast. She conjured her omnitool and read through the latest reports from the front, a clear indication that this conversation was over.

But Javik didn't leave. Instead, he stepped closer, looming over her seat as he stared at her incredulously. With a huff, she muttered "Is there something else I can help you with?"

"I have been studying this ship, its crew. There are many oddities." He said. Finally, Elaine decided to give him her attention. "You are not the only oddity here. There was a Normandy before this one. The Commander died in an attack."

Elaine was silent. It still baffled her to believe Shepard had truly been killed.

"But then he was resurrected. To fight the Reapers."

A dry smile hinted at the corners of her lips. "It would seem all three of us have something in common. We all were lost to our causes, and yet all three of us were brought back to this same time and place to fight the Reapers. That kind of coincidence would make even a cynic believe in destiny."

"We are not the same," was Javik's curt retort. "The reasons why the Commander fights are still alive. The friendships of the people around him. Even _you_ have forged connections here. You and the Turian are… joined now."

"You speak as if you've had time to come to terms with that."

"The moment I was first around you both, I knew. Your pheromones told the story. I do not know why you would choose him for a mate. He is not of your own species, not of your culture or your time."

Eyes hardening, Elaine slid her chair back with a shrill sound and stood. "I chose him because I love him, and he loves me. Should I need any other reason?"

"Is this why you wish to continue living?" Javik cocked his head at her, as if she were a bug he was contemplating on squashing. "For his affection?"

His question made her pause and glance down at her discarded meal. When she did speak, her voice was distant, detached. "My entire life has been a dedication to my duty. Duty to my family name, my honour, my country, my order. It is a very empty existence, I have found. Without the _affection_ of friends and now Garrus, what reason do I have to fight?"

Yet instead of mollify the Prothean, her words only seemed to insult him. "You should wish to fight because it is the only way to purge this galaxy of the stain that is the Reapers, and now the Darkspawn. That is an evil that wants to choke the life out of all of us."

"And you know all of that from touching me once?" she scoffed.

"I only know what I experienced through you. It was a poison, a lurking shadow, a window for something with dark eyes to stare through. Yet I still do not understand it. It is as if it had a mind, a will of its own."

"The taint is not something natural, Javik. The Blight has its own magic, to defy all the laws of nature and reason. As you say, it is a force all its own that cannot be tamed. Even Wardens are taken by it eventually."

"And yet you voluntarily brought that filth into yourself?" he demanded, his face curled in disgust. "You have been contaminated by it. Why would you infect yourself so?"

Her hand coiled into a fist at her side. "Sometimes a soldier must use any weapon at their disposal to combat the enemy."

"This taint, the Darkspawn, how it all serves the beast you call the Archdemon… It is an evil too similar to the Reapers. That is why it must be destroyed."

"On that, we can agree." Finally, it seemed as if the conversation was done. Javik went to leave, but something was itching at the back of the Warden's mind: what had brought this on? "You seem to know a lot about this, Javik."

"I have been studying the logs of this ship. I know you encountered the husks of my people infected with this taint." If it were possible, his eyes grew darker, his lip curled higher. "A further insult to my great race from the Reapers."

"They encountered it from my world…" The memory of her dream came back to her, and before she could think it through, quickly asked: "Javik, do you remember anything about a planet called Thedas? It might not have been under that name during your empire."

"I was a soldier. Not a historian."

"I know… I just wanted answers. You see… Mordin and I theorised that the Protheans had something to do with my world. I received visions, of your people coming to Thedas, of placing my people on the planet. Attempting to purge it of dragons..."

Instead of laughing at her claim as she was sure others would have, Javik took her at face value and closed his eyes in thought. "There was a story that circulated the barracks at one of my postings. It was tradition, that before a battle, we would recite past victories to embolden our warriors. One such occasion, a soldier told the story of how our people encountered a planet we could never fully conquer. It was filled with beasts that fought with power beyond what we expected."

"But why?" asked Elaine. "Why go there?"

"Before the Reapers came to harvest us, the imperative of the empire was to grow. Humanity had been selected as a probable candidate to bring in as a subservient race once they were ready. We experimented on some of you, to see the potential you could have. We did this to all the races. Part of the experiment was to leave you on another planet to see how you could evolve."

"But the experiment was unfinished? Why didn't the Reapers destroy it?"

Javik shook his head. "You were too primitive to be of notice to them. And the beasts of your world had disappeared, beyond where even we could find them…"

* * *

They had arrived back at the Citadel with a small portion of the Quarian Fleet in order for the Council to officially recognise them. It would be these ships that would be the first wave to bolster the allied lines. With them, evacuations would be more successful, defence lines would be stronger, medical aid could get to troops in harder to reach places. The Geth fleet would come in later, going straight to the front lines on the offense against the enemy. For the first time, it felt as if they had a _real_ chance against the Reapers.

Shepard was almost pulled in to all the meetings between the Quarians and the Council and other ambassadors. He wanted to be sure everything went smoothly. But Liara wouldn't have it. She told him he needed a break, and though he was loath to do so, since when had he been able to resist those saphhire eyes of hers.

So they went to a nice little café on the Presidium that either hadn't been completely trashed by Cerberus or had at least patched itself up in good time. And they ate, and chatted, and laughed, and after a while… Shepard began to feel _normal_. Which was rather unusual for him. But it was a nice unusual. To try and enjoy himself without the burdens of the galaxy on his shoulders nor the drama that had been hounding his thoughts lately. And it was all thanks to Liara.

Yet of course, nothing was peaceful for him for any length of time. As his and Liara's little 'date' continued, Shepard found his eyes wandering. At the bar, he noticed an old Asari watching them, her dark blue eyes staring into the back of Liara's head. The moment she realised Shepard had caught her watching, she hurriedly went back to cleaning the bar.

Oh no. He wasn't going to stand for that. With a pleasant smile to Liara, he said, "Another round of drinks?"

Excusing himself, he quickly made his way over and put in his order just for the sake of pretense. To her credit, the asair looked as if she were completely calm about the situation.

"Shepard, right?" she asked in a voice that was gravelly and so unlike the usual soft tones of her species – it sounded like she'd been a chain-smoker and metal-head for the past century. "Matriarch Aethyta. Hear you're pulling together folks to fight the Reapers. Drinks on the house."

"Thanks." Said Shepard. "What's an Asari Matriarch doing at a bar?"

She shrugged, her eyes far too attentive for the casual look she was going for. "Serving drinks. Sometimes I fill the peanut dish too."

Shepard tapped his knuckles on the bar for a moment. "I don't think so. It's something to do with Liara, isn't it? You've been staring at her the whole time we've been here."

"Yeah, you could say that." No denial, no squirming; just complete composure, as if they were discussing the news.

"You wanna tell me what's your problem?"

Finally, he got a wince. "No problem, exactly. Liara ever tell you about her family?"

"I think you know the answer to that."

"Right. You and her killed her own mother. Bet that was a great first date." Aethyta grumbled. "Anyway. She never met her father. And… well, that's me."

Shepard had to freeze and stare. That… wasn't what he'd been expecting. "And you're just standing here? You know Liara would love to meet you, right?" How many times had he discussed this possibility with her on the SR1? She'd always been so excited about the prospect.

But Aethyta looked over at where Liara was sitting, and shook her head. "Yeah. We'll see how that goes."

She served him the drinks, and Shepard wondered whether to try convince her more or leave. In the end, he went back to the table. Setting their drinks down, he looked on the beautiful blue woman that he loved and realised he couldn't ever keep silent about it.

"See that bartender over there?" he gestured behind her.

"The matriarch hired by the Asari government to track my movements?" Liara answered easily.

Shepard balked. "She what?"

"I'm good information broker, Shepard." She sent him that smile he was growing to find really hot, the smile that said she knew everything and was in complete control. "And yes. I know she's my father."

"And you haven't talked to her about spying on you?"

"If I did that, Asari High Command might send someone who was less sympathetic to me. Besides, this is hardly the time for family reunions…" that smile of hers faded when Shepard gave her one of his own looks, one that said to buck up her ideas and move her ass. She pouted and rolled her eyes. "Oh _fine_ …"

Shepard hurriedly followed her back towards the bar. Liara didn't look like the poster child for family reunions. In fact, her expression looked like what you'd make if someone stuck Pyjak shit under your nose. Her voice was equally stern as she called out to the elder asari who currently had their backs turned to them. "Matriarch Aethyta?"

Aethyta froze where she stood. Slowly, she turned around. It was as if a completely different asari stood there instead of the woman Shepard had met. Her eyes were fixed on Liara's, her hands bunched at her sides to stop them from shaking. "Hey there, kid."

Neither of them said anything for a moment. So Shepard decided to break the silence. "You know, you could've mentioned you were a spy for Asari High Command."

"You wouldn't have been so quick to help if I had." It was as if Shepard's voice had broken a spell, and Aethyta was back to normal, albeit with a gentler smile on her face, unable to tear her gaze away from Liara. "Look kid, you're one of the biggest intel brokers in the galaxy. You combine that with the fact that you're Benezia's daughter, and… well, the Matriarchs might've ordered a hit if I hadn't agreed to keep an eye on you."

"That's not gonna happen." Was Shepard's warning growl.

Aethyta threw up her hands. "No argument here. I only took these crap jobs to keep the matriarchs happy that she's under control."

"Under control?" huffed Liara indignantly. "Like I'm a threat to them? Me?"

"Come on, you can't blame the matriarchs for keeping an eye on you."

"I am _not_ my mother."

Now Aethyta's smile was amused. "Hmm… you did threaten to flay someone alive with your mind."

"I had to make them take me seriously. I wasn't actually going to do it." Then Liara frowned, thoughtful. And then she was outraged. "And… you bugged my office on Illium!"

"That'd be the logical conclusion. Yeah."

"Did you spy on my mother too? Is that how you first met?"

"Nah, Nezzy was always one step ahead of me." Aethyta looked away, then. "She and I were together for more than a century, you know."

Liara's poker face broke then, her voice quiet. "You loved her?"

"Of course I loved her! She was so smart, always thinking. Nice too. Hell of a lot nicer than I am. And damn, that rack… I mean, even before she hit the matriarch stage…" Aethyta whistled.

Liara cringed. "You don't need to tell me everything…"

"Nezzy was the only one who ever listened to me when I said the Asari were stuck in the past. Only difference was, I wanted us to stand on our own. She wanted alliances with other species."

"Is that why…?"

"Why it ended? Nah. Well, maybe. I don't know. Mostly it ended because she wanted to solve things the smart way. I wanted to fight."

"Those aren't mutually exclusive."

"Yeah. I hear you've racked up quite the body count. But then, you are a quarter Krogan." Aethyta grinned teasingly, but then it faded at the lull that quickly followed. "It was pretty clear she was leaving. Can't be the wise counselor when you're married. I made her promise to let you go your own way though, no matter what she wanted."

"Really?" Liara asked in a voice that reminded Shepard of the child-like naïve doctor he first met.

"I knew you'd be special, kid. Any daughter of hers…" Aethyta reached out as if she wanted to touch her daughter's cheek, but stopped herself. "I told her, 'you're treating her like a little bird, Nezzy, but she's gonna raise one hell of a storm with those little wings'."

Shepard tensed, and Liara's breath choked in her throat. "Little wing?"

"You okay?" Aethyta asked, concerned.

Shepard took hold of Liara's hand in his. She squeezed his fingers back. "Yes. Thanks."

Aethyta waited for the little moment to pass, and offered Liara a proud smile. "And look at you now. An intel broker. Got yourself a spy network. Even a few shady connections…" and then the Matriarch's eyes lost their warmth as they landed on Shepard. "Like a boyfriend who used to work for Cerberus? Sound familiar?"

"I only worked with Cerberus to fight the Reapers." The Commander said tensely.

"And you're not with 'em now. I know. If you were, you wouldn't get within a lightyear of Liara."

"Is that a threat?" he growled.

"I'm no commando," spat Aethyta, "but I've had a thousand years to learn how to fight dirty. Nobody messes with my girl."

Before Shepard could retort, Liara beat him to it. "As if I would let him hurt me."

"That's my girl." Said Shepard.

Despite his expectations, Aethyta immediately chuckled. "Huh, maybe you're good enough for her after all. Can't say I'm surprised. I hear the Normandy is just a hub for all sorts of romances."

Shepard frowned. That was an odd statement. "Why would you say that?"

"You ain't seen the news today?"

Something like dread hit both the Commander and Liara at the same time. They immediately pulled out their omnitools and turned it to the best-trending news channel. They were immediately greeted by the sight of a woman Shepard knew too well, with her bob-cut black hair and near permenant hard sneer.

" _This is Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani, with Westerlund news._ " The channel greeted them. _"A startling video has recently gone viral on the extra-net. In it, the Reaper Adviser for the Turian Hierarchy, Garrus Vakarian, and Warden-Commander Elaine Cousland of the newly officialised organistation called 'the Grey Wardens', seem to be… getting hitched?"_

"Oh shit…" whispered Shepard.

 _"_ _In this footage, taken by renowned reporter for Battle Space, Diana Allers, we can see the entire Normandy crew celebrating the union of this…_ _ **odd**_ _couple."_

There was a moment of static before the footage played. It was the scene of Garrus and Elaine's wedding, just a couple days ago. The video looked like it had been taken by someone at the back of the crowd, as an elbow was almost permanently obscured the right corner of the screen. The camera zoomed in as Elaine and Garrus exchanged rings.

 _"_ _Both Vakarian and Cousland serve aboard the Normandy SR2 with Commander Shepard, who you can see legitamising this ceremony in the video."_

The footage zoomed out just enough to capture the moment where Garrus and Elaine completed their vows and sealed it with a kiss. It paused on the exact moment they parted, framing the pair of them with Shepard in the background perfectly.

 _"_ _This footage comes at a shock to some, but we here at Westerlund News are more perturbed at the implications of this video. Commander Shepard was on Earth when the Reapers attacked, yet chose to run away with one of humanity's most powerful warships in order to play politics with the Council. Is he and the rest of the Normandy just ignoring the fact that millions of people on earth are dying, day in and day out, so that the Normandy can serve as a matchmaking service? More on this story as it develops."_

"Shepard!" Liara's loud voice startled him out of the descending rage-fuelled panic he'd been sinking into as the video went on. He glanced over to see that Liara was scrolling through several news sites. "This is being picked up by almost every station."

"Can you you run interference?" he asked. "Try to contain it?"

"I've already got my informants on it. We'll try our best."

"Good. Then let's go an see Miss Allers."

They raced back to the Normandy. Shepard had already called in ahead to EDI to confirm that the human woman hadn't left the ship yet. Shepard and Liara were like a storm as they burst into the ship and marched through towards their prey. Personel unlucky to find themselves in their path, wisely chose to step aside. Down on the engineering deck, they found Allers in her room, shifting through reports on her terminal. When the commander and his XO entered her quarters, Allers turned to greet them with a smile. But one look at their faces had her quickly rethinking that idea.

"You!" Shepard hissed venomously as he charged into her personal space. "You've got a hell of a lot of explaining to do!"

Allers floundered, eyes big and mouth slightly open. "I don't know–"

"The video. Allers." Liara cut in icily. "We saw the news report on Westerlund News."

Immediate understanding came to Allers and her face contorted with frustration. "Uh. That bitch, al-Jilani. She always has a way of spinning things into the negative. Definitely a non-too-subtly-hidden xenophobe, that one."

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Shepard nearly exploded. "You took a video of a private event and posted it all over the extra-net?!"

"And why not?" Allers crossed her arms and glared up at him defiantly. "No offence Commander, but two high-profile individuals getting married is big news, no matter who they are. But the fact that they're a rare cross species pairing? And not to mention that anyone connected to the Normandy is considered the face of this war? Yeah, people are gonna sit up and listen."

"You had no right–"

"Commander, I told you I needed a story to give a boost to morale. Our segment on the Geth? Got nothing. People are sick of seeing the doom-and-gloom of war. This story is gonna lift their spirits, show them that even in our darkest hour, there's still hope for something beautiful." Allers' smile was big and geuine, as if she really believed what she was saying.

"And what?" he snapped. "You thought nothing to the severe breach of privacy for Garrus and Elaine? You didn't stop to think what this would bring for them?"

"I think you're over exaggerating–"

"Don't you dare patronise me!" Shepard's voice was like a strong arctic gale that had Allers freezing on the spot and staring at him with renewed fear. "Allers, xenophobes on all sides are gonna be up in arms over to this. The way al-Jilani is spinning this? It makes it look like we're sitting on our asses passing love letters – people are going to be furious. Garrus and Elaine are in high positions of power; you could've cost them their integrity!"

The gravity of the situation she had caused seemed to be dawning on her, though Allers still looked determined that she was in the right. "All of which will be avoided so long as we handle this situation right."

"And what about Cerberus?" at his words, Allers paled. "Don't tell me you forgot about the human-supremacist group, the ones that kidnapped Elaine and held her captive for six months? Don't tell me you didn't think this would infuriate them and turn her into even more of a target?"

Now she was sufficiently contrite. "I–I, um, I mean, I didn't think… I didn't realise…"

"You need to leave." The commander uttered coldly. "Get your things and get the hell off my ship."

"What?! You're kidding!"

"I'm not kidding. You broke my trust, potentially endangered my crew, and ruined my date. If anything of yours is left on the Normandy in an hour, I'm throwing it and you out of the airlock."

Allers stalled for a second, possibly trying to come up with an excuse. But then Liara set a timer that chimed loudly as it counted down. The woman hurriedly obeyed.

* * *

As soon as they'd docked at the Citadel, Elaine and Tali had decided to spend the day in a variety of different ways. Elaine still wanted to help at the docks and refugee camps, and Tali was more than willing to help out. They then spent the afternoon touring the Presidium, contemplating shopping but mostly just walking around the gardens and bright walkways. It was easy to relax up here, to forget about the war outside this sanctuary and pretend life was normal.

Which was how their onversation eventually turned to: "So. How does it feel to be _Mrs Vakarian?"_ Tali asked with an obvious grin in her voice.

"I don't know…" said Elaine honestly, "in a way, it's all so surreal…"

"I know, right? You had no time to prepare! To get used to the idea. I mean, you woke up a Cousland and went to bed a Vakarian? Who doesn't need time to adjust to that?" Tali tutted.

Elaine slid her a sly look. "I'll be sure to remind you of that when it's _your_ wedding…"

"Please, the day I find a _Bosh'tet_ stupid enough to bond with me, I'll dance naked atop the tallest mountain."

"I'm holding you to that!"

They giggled. A ping from Tali's omnitool interrupted them. With subtle sgh to herself, Tali dutifully pulled up the message. Elaine didn't try to take a peak.

"That's the third one in the past hour," she said. "Someone's popular."

Tali shook her head. "I'm coordinating actions for the fleet while we're here. Evacuating colonies, bolstering Turian defense lines… They're calling me 'Ambassador'."

"Don't ambassadors get elected to the Council when their race is offered a seat?" Elaine pondered, finger tapping her chin. "I think you've earned that right."

Tali nearly choked on the straw of her drink she was trying to insert into the mouthpiece of her mask. "The Council would never offer a seat to the Quarians…"

"Why not? Your people just settled a three hundred year war, you've basically rewritten the laws on AI interaction from now on, and you are saving council races with your fleet. In fact, I think the Krogan should have a seat too. After all, they are helping the Turians save their homeworld."

"Watch out, Elaine," Tali said with a smile in her voice. "Or you'll be assassinated for inciting a rebellion. You might enjoy that, but once was enough for me."

"What?" Elaine asked, surprised. "Someone tried to assassinate you?"

"I think it was three years ago to the day…" Tali looked around them at the softly trickling water-fountains and multicoloured trees that wavered gently in an artificial breeze. "When I first arrived on the Citadel, I had just stolen information that implicated Saren turning traitor to the Geth. He sent assassins to take that data back. They shot at me right here." She gestured to the presidium. "I didn't think to have my barriers up. Stupid mistake."

"You never spoke of this before. Were you injured?"

"Got me in the arm. They used polonium rounds. I was running a fever in minutes. It was the first time I'd been really hurt on my pilgrimage. I ran to the Council Embassy, pleaded for protection, offered them the data." Tali's voice grew quiet, ducking her face from sight in shame. "The Turian clerk called me 'suit-rat'. He threatened to have me tossed off the station if I didn't leave."

"Tali, I'm so sorry…" Elaine pulled the smaller woman into a tight hug. Into her hood, she whispered, "You want to find that nug-humping bastard and teach him a lesson?"

Tali snorted a laugh. "No. This war is too big for old grudges. Besides, it all worked out. Shepard found me. I joined the Normandy. Happy ending."

They pulled apart and Elaine smiled. "Is it also hard to think that it's been over a year now since I first arrived in your galaxy? Where has the time gone?"

"And what would we do without you?"

Before Elaine could reply, her own omnitool beeped loudly. Odd. Garrus knew she wouldn't be back on the Normandy for another few hours. She pulled up the tool to check the message.

"Now who's popular?" Tali teased.

"It's Shepard, it's just…" she trailed off as her eyes raked over the contents of the short message in confusion. "He wants us back on the Normandy. Says people found out about the wedding… But I don't see–"

"Err, Elaine? I think we should go now…"

Her head snapped up at Tali's uneasy tone. Elaine's gaze followed the Quarian's as she looked around them. And then the Warden noticed too, people were staring at them – correction, they were staring at Elaine. People began to mutter amongst themselves as they watched her. A few even pointed. Battle senses told Elaine the atmosphere was turning south, and so she grabbed hold of Tali's elbow and quickly led them away. They attempted to find their way back to the cab depot, but their progress felt slow as the pair of them were aware of the crowds now watching them with odd, ranging looks… and some were even following them.

As the reached the depot, it got a hell of a lot worse. It started with someone shouting. And then, as if they appeared from thin air, half a dozen people surrounded them. And on their heels came half a dozen more. Camera-bots zoomed into her face and omnitools flashed for pictures. Elaine felt enclosed in, the reflex to lash out like a cornered animal rising along her spine. People began to call out to her, and she realised this crowd was no of one mind. Some looked at her with interest or admiration; others looked upon her with confusion or distaste.

"Miss Cousland over here!"

"Mrs Vakarian! We have questions–"

"Look! She's even with a Quarian!"

"Alien lover!"

The Warden tried to back up, her back pressing against Tali's as she did so. "What in Andraste's name is going on here?"

The Quarian looped their arms together and just began to walk, shoving aside protestors and paparazzi alike. "Elaine, just keep moving!" they reached the terminal, and Tali punched in their numbers to summon a car.

"Miss Cousland!" called one man. "Humanity has questions for you! Where is your loyalty to your own race?"

"Does your new husband ask sensitive questions about our government?" shouted another.

"Keep the aliens out of human affairs!"

"Mrs Vakarian!" said an asari to her left. "Can you give an exclusive interview with Fornax? We'd love to know how your husband measures up!"

Finally, the car arrived. Tali had to again clear the path for them to get to the car. As Elaine followed, it felt like the crowd was closing in behind her. She could feel their breath on her neck, even their whispered words resounding in her ears.

"Power hungry human," snarled a turian she passed, "whoring her way to the top!"

"The Turians were at war with us and now you're in bed with them?" spat a human. "Shame on you! What would do your parents think?"

Elaine paused, her hand on the car to help herself in. She wanted to pretend to not hear that, to make her escape and let those words slide off her. Of course she knew her parents would approve of her choice in husband no matter what, they had loved her and wanted only for happiness when it counted. So why did her mind go spinning out of control with the thought… what if they didn't? Of course, she would never know. They were dead.


	31. The Artefact

Elaine drummed her fingers on the side of the skycar as she and Shepard roamed through the sky of the Citadel. Her day had gone from bad to worse in a matter of hours and she couldn't remember the last time her patience had been this short. Every whine of the skycar's engines grated on her nerves. Every time Shepard hummed to himself in thought, she wanted to snap to demand why he would make such a non-commital noise. Despite the fact that the journey would only take them around half an hour, she really REALLY felt the time drag. Only adding to her growing frustration was the fact that she was here to begin with. Shepard had dragged her off with him to see some Professor on Hackett's orders. Elaine had yet to hear the reason for her inclusion.

"Is there honestly a law that says I cannot deter those who would pester me incessantly?" she finally broke the silence, her words coming out garbled between clenched teeth.

"By 'deter'," said Shepard, "you mean punch, attack or otherwise kill. And yes, there is a law against it. I'd rather my crew not get arrested when I need them."

Elaine's scowl deepened. "Could you not banish them from the docks, at least?"

"They can't get on the Normandy or otherwise obstruct the workers loading it. But otherwise, they're free to hound the docks as much as they wish. They're reporters. It's what they do."

Ever since that video had gone across the extranet showcasing Elaine and Garrus' wedding, the reporters and photographers had been attempting to find Elaine or her husband ever since. It had been non-stop all day. Even now, going into the evening when people should be heading home, she was told they were waiting around the Normandy attempting to wait her out. Elaine had been furious when Shepard had told her it was Diana Allers who had taken that recording and let it loose for all the galaxy to see. If he hadn't already exiled her from the ship, Elaine might've strangled the woman.

It wasn't that she was ashamed of her marriage, nor did she believe in keeping her private life a seret. If people knew about it, then that was that. She got married, there was no law against it; almost everybody did it so why shouldn't she? No, her anger came from the fact that these strangers that called themselves _news agents_ hounded her incessantly, asking her personal questions or implying that she was somehow scandalous, or otherwise they outright insulted her. Before, she didn't mind the idea of the press or keeping secrets. Now? She wanted to lock away her private life from any unwanted eyes for the rest of eternity.

With all this drama, she wanted to find Garrus, to see how he was coping with this situation and take his direction on how to deal with it. But he had been busy at the Turian embassy today when everything happened. Whether he made it back to the Normandy by now, she didn't know. As soon as she and Tali had arrived on Shepard's location, he had whisked her away with him. He said they were going to speak to a Professor Bryson about something called the Leviathan of Diss. Apparently, the Batarians had once discovered a Reaper corpse much like the one they had found when obtaining the IFF. Something had killed it, and Hackett and Shepard wanted to find out what. Elaine knew what this mission was for her though. Shepard wanted her out of the spotlight and out of trouble. Once again, she felt like he saw her as a child in need of a babysitter.

"Must I be here, Shepard?" she asked him. "Why can I not hide on the Normandy?"

He shrugged. "Considering you just threatened to kill the reporters surrounding the Normandy, let's just say this is more for me to keep an eye on you."

Elaine narrowed her eyes on the man beside her. He had yet to look at her when speaking to her, and there was an ever-so-slight edge in his tone whenever he spoke to her. Ever sine her wedding, Elaine couldn't help but feel as if there was something odd about the commander whenever he was with her. But she couldn't quite understand what… "Shepard, is there something wrong? I can't help but feel like you're being short with me…"

He was silent for a moment. The muscled in his jaw tensed ever so slightly. He still did not look her way, even though they both knew he didn't need to keep his full attention on his driving.

When he did speak, there was a false chiperness to his tone that Elaine instantly was aware of. "Nope. No problem. Just thinking about what this Dr Bryson has to say."

The Warden remained silent for the rest of the journey. Fine. If he wanted to behave this way, then she would give him the silent treatment back. It wasn't long after that they arrived at their destination. The lab was a modest building, with a slightly overgrown garden with heaps of boxes and metal objects Elaine couldn't name piled up against the walls. Shepard parked the skycar at the edge of the garden and lifted the roof so he could step out.

"You coming?" he asked her.

Stubbornly, she crossed her arms. Yes, it was childish, and she was doing herself no favours. But her previous foul mood was carrying over and she felt like being petty. "I'll wait."

Shepard left her there and Elaine sat not-so-patiently. Her leg twitched up and down. Her fingers drummed on her arm. Usually, she would have loved to go with Shepard. She had always been such a fan of history, collecting all the pieces of random knowledge she could in all of her travels. It sounded like what Bryson had was important, something she might very well be interested in. But the Warden just wanted the day over with already. She wanted to go back to the Normandy, back to her friends, back to comfort, back to Garrus, to her own comfortable bed. Besides, Shepard would tell her the news when he –

 _BANG!_

Elaine sat up quick at the sudden sound of the gunshot. That sounded like it came from the lab. Scrambling out of her seat she launched herself out of the car and ran across the grass. She slammed her hand against the button to open the door, all the while cursing herself. Why hadn't she gone with Shepard?! What if that was him that had been shot?!

The door opened and Elaine burst into the lab. An assortment of big terminals, skeletons, pieces of machinery, rock samples, all a jumble of random items dotted the lab. She was almost over-stimulated to find her way through it all. She heard a grunt and impact to her right, and spotted an adjoining room. There was a body on the floor. A pool of blood.

She ran inside, fists ready because of her lack of a weapon. The body belong to an older man, his body unhealthily thin, a few days worth of stubble on his face. He'd been shot in the chest, and he lay unmoving. To the right of him, Elaine spotted Shepard wrestling a young man to the floor, a pistol discarded.

"…I need C-SEC at my location! Now!" Shepard was shouting into his earpiece.

"What happened?!" Elaine cried as she came into the room. She immediately went to Shepard to help him pin down the struggling man. Her boot slammed onto his chest and he immediately went still.

 _"_ _You shouldn't be here…"_ he said in a voice that drifted in the air, as if spoken from a dream. _"The darkness can't be breached…"_

With that, the man just lay still, his eyes unmoving. Elaine quickly knelt and checked for a pulse. He was alive just… not choosing to move. She turned to the commander. "Shepard, what is going on?!"

His mouth was pressed into a hard, angry line. "Bryson was going to show me his data – he's been working on trying to find out where the Reapers come from. And then this little shit comes in and shoots him!"

"Is he alive?"

"No. He got him right in the heart."

It didn't take long for C-SEC officers to arrive. Two Turians who immediately got to work. They handcuffed the young man to a chair and saw to the body. Elaine and Shepard stood and watched from the corner, stewing over the quick turn these events had taken. When the officers had loaded the body onto their shuttle to be taken to a morgue, they finally came back and began to examine the murderer. They took his omnitool and began to go through it for clues.

"Transit records show his name is Derek Hadley," said one officer, a pale turian with orange markings. "He's worked here for a couple months."

"Shepard." Both the Commander and Elaine turned at the sound of the familiar mechanical voice. EDI strolled in, calm and collected as ever. "I monitored a C-SEC alert from this location. Were you or Elaine harmed?"

"No," said Elaine, "EDI we're both alright."

Shepard nodded. "We could use your help sorting this out, EDI. Take a look through their files. I need to know what this task force was up to, exactly."

"Urgh… what… I…" came a groan from the chair. The young man shook his head, blinking his eyes open as if he had just awoken from a sleep. When he attempted to move, his hands rattled against the handcuffs pinning him to the chair. He looked at his wrists, startled, and then glanced up at the two turian officers that were glaring at him sternly. The young man, Hadley, turned a shade paler. "W-w-what's happening?"

"You tell me." Said Shepard in a low voice.

"I-I-I was gathering our data when you arrived," he quickly supplied, "and then… it was dark, cold like I was… some place else."

"And then?"

"I don't know!" he burst in mounting panic. "A gun was in my hand? Dr Bryson… there was a loud noise and then…"

"That was you shooting him." Shepard pointed to the pool of blood still on the floor.

Hadley stared at the evidence of his crime. His expression seemed to freeze, his brain struggling to comprehend the validity of this situation. And then, as if all the pieces fell into place quite abruptly, he began to babble and beg loudly. "I didn't do it! It wasn't me! You have to believe that!"

Elaine sent the young man a scrutinizing look. "And what else can we believe? That you conveniently misplaced your own mind?"

"Did someone else pull that trigger, Hadley?" Shepard said scathingly.

"But I would never do that!"

"Commander," EDI piped up in a thoughtful voice. "This does resemble reports of Indoctrination."

"So you're a spy?!" Elaine asked incredulously.

If it were possible, Hadley went even paler. "No-no-no! I swear, I'm not!"

"Then prove it." Shepard marched up to the man and shook his shoulders. "Tell us what you know about Leviathan."

"It's some kind of creature. Our field teams have been tracking it. That artefact," he jerked his head in the direction of a large orb on a shelf, glowing all the colours of the ocean. "It came from our researcher, Garneau. He sent an audio log if you wanna – _GAH!"_

Suddenly, Hadley doubled over in his seat, his face screwed up in agony as he screamed. He tossed his head this way and that, his thrashing so violent that his chair legs came off the ground. Whimpering, pleading, yelling, his pain was obvious to everyone.

"Hadley?" Elaine tried to get closer to him, to steady him to see what was wrong, but his writhing was too violent for her to get close. "Officers! Get this man some help!"

 _"_ _Turn back."_

Abruptly, Hadley went still, his head drooped low. Shepard frowned down at the man. Elaine felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle, there was that dreamy tone Hadley had used when she first came in. The commander knelt before the young man. "What're you talking about?"

Hadley lifted his head. His eyes were glassy, unseeing. " _The darkness cannot be breached."_

Then, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and Hadley went boneless. Where he was leaning forward already, his dead weight tipped his chair. He would've slammed face-first into the floor had the C-SEC officers not rushed forward to steady him. They all crowded around Hadley, to see what ailed him. He was knocked out cold.

"Damnit." Hissed Shepard. "Get him to the clinic. See if they can tell us what's wrong with him."

The C-SEC officers nodded and picked up Hadley before carrying him away. As they left, Elaine looked up at the orb Hadley had mentioned. It was a beautiful thing. Perfectly circular and smooth, its colours turning slowly as if a current of ocean water were sealed within. It was mesmerising.

"Shepard?" she asked over her shoulder. "Do you believe Hadley? That Leviathan is some monster lurking amongst the stars?"

"Hackett seems to believe in Bryson's work," he said distractedly as he joined EDI at the terminal she was hacking. "What if this Leviathan is a rogue Reaper that could help us?"

She frowned at that idea, turning her attention back to the orb. "Is that possible? I mean–"

A cold rush trickled down her spine. Her ears popped and began to ring. Slowly, sound became muted. She could barely hear Shepard calling her name. "Elaine? Elai….?"

And then, a hand reached out from the void and clamped its claws around her brain. Her entire body stiffened. She was unable to move. Something forced itself into her mind, squeezing in and brusting apart everything inside to make room for itself. And then, a deep and terrible voice seized hold of her.

 ** _"_** ** _You are another branch of the disease. It cannot be tolerated."_**

Darkness swept across her vision. The ground vanished from her feet, and Elaine felt herself be pulled underneath an ocean of black waves. Cold swept around her, freezing her body and piercing her soul. She fought, she struggled, but it was as if she were trying to swim in full plate armour. She sank.

In the lab, her body collapsed to a heap on the floor with no warning. Shepard looked up when he heard the thud. He saw Elaine on the floor, her body wracked with spasms as if suffering a seizure. Blood trickled from her nostrils. Immediately, he dropped what he was doing and ran to her.

"Elaine? Elaine!" he shook her to try and rouse a response from her, but there was nothing. "EDI, call an ambulance! NOW!"

* * *

Garrus was on his way back to the Normandy when he got the call from Shepard. The bar of Turian-chocolate he'd been eating was immediately dropped to the floor and he left it in the street as he quickly changed direction and ran to the nearest cab depot. He all but snarled at the poor driver to get him to Huerta Memorial Hospital as fast as possible. Worry gnawed at his stomach. Shepard's message had been very vague. A seizure? She didn't suffer from any disorders or diseases that would cause that.

When he finally made it to the hospital, he burst through the doors and raced through the waiting room. The poor receptionist was frightened half to death when he demanded to know the room Elaine had been taken to. She hadn't refused him. He barged past everyone in an attempt to find her.

One unlucky doctor to block the door. "Sir! I'm sorry you an't–"

"I'm her bond-mate!" he shouted.

"Uh, I…" the doctor looked him up and down in doubt. Garrus very nearly lost his temper at that point. All afternoon, he'd had to content with handling the situation of the reporters questioning his decision in a mate. Luckily, neither the Primarch nor any of the diplomats he had to deal with seemed affected by the news. But now, this doctor was going to call his relationship into question to his face? Lucky for him, the salarian changed his mind quickly. "I'm sorry sir, but please, you need to calm down whilst we run some more tests."

"Well?" he asked impatiently. "What have you found out so far? What's wrong with her?"

"They don't know."

Garrus turned on the spot at Shepard's voice. The commander was leant against the wall, rubbing his shoulder as a matter of habbit when he was stood still for too long. Garrus immediately came to him. "Spirits, Shepard! What happened?"

"I can't tell you, Garrus." Sighed the commander. "One minute she was fine, walking and talking and everything; the next, she just collapsed. I've had EDI quarantine the lab we were at. First Bryson's assistant gets all indoctrinated and kills him, then Elaine just goes down."

"From what we've managed to gather so far," said the doctor as he scanned over his datapad. "We can say she's in a deep coma-like-state. Her brain activity is all over the place, but she seems to be unresponsive to any stimuli."

"You mean, you can't wake her up?" Garrus tried not to let his voice sound hopeless already. "How long is she going to be like this?"

"Like I said, until we can run more tests…" the doctor let the sentence hang. With nothing more to say, he directed them back to the waiting room and then left them.

Shepard patted Garrus' shoulder in what was supposed to be a comforting gesture. "Once we find Leviathan, maybe that will help her. All these icidents are happening around us trying to find it. Maybe if we–"

"You go on ahead, Shepard. I'll stay with her."

The commander stared at him as if his translator had just glitched. "But, Garrus… I need you on my six."

Though there was nothing he could do here, and he knew he would be of far more use to his friend right now, something inside the turian anchored him to the spot. He sat down in one of the chairs and stared up at Shepard with grim eyes. "I'm not leaving my wife, Shepard."

* * *

 _There was nothing but darkness. In every direction, nothingness. Elaine couldn't tell if she was standing or laying down, what was up or down. She just… existed. Was she in the fade? It didn't look like it at all. And why was it so cold? Why was there no light? Though she doubted that even the sun could pierce this intense blackness._

 _And the she felt it. At the edge of her awareness, she could feel that presence. She supposed it never really left, keeping its vice like grip on her being and holding her in a cage of its claws. Yet it had remained so still, that over time, its presence had faded from notice. Like a predator merging with its camouflage. Only now when it moved did she notice it. It was inside her brain, its vastness pressing aside her boundaries to an almost painful degree._

 _"_ _Who's there?" she called out. Her voice didn't echo in an expense, nor did it brush back against her from a confining space. It just… disappeared. "What do you want?"_

 **"** **You mind belongs to me now."** _It was there again. That deep and terrible voice that seemed to make everything around it rumble. The voice was everywhere, in her ears, in her mind, on her breath, in her lungs._

 _It quaked her to the core, and Elaine found it difficult at first to find her own voice again. "I belong to no one! Do you hear me? I demand you release me!"_

 **"** **If you allow me to discover the truth, then perhaps I shall."**

 _Elaine wanted to frown but she couldn't feel her own facial muscles in order make an expression. "What is it you want?"_

 **"** **The disease is inside you. Explain it."** _The voice ordered._

 _"_ _The taint? It comes from the Blight. I volunteered… I vol… ugh, I… I…" If she had lungs to have breath, it would be robbed from her. A pressure was building inside her mind. Like a headache, but deeper than that. Where it crashed against her skull, her spine rattled in response. She felt as if claws were slicing her up and picking her apart piece by piece._

 **"** **I can see."** _The voice mused thoughtfully._ **"You are one of the creatures belonging to the Lone-Worlders."**

 _"_ _Lone-Worlders?" she struggled to say. "What're you talking about?"_

 **"** **You will submit to our examination. We must understand you. To determine whether you can be permitted to return to the living world."**

 _Something was crashing through her mind, splitting apart the beams that held her up, tearing through the temple that was her soul and digging up her very foundations. Pain unlike nothing she had experienced before in her life ripped through her and she screamed. She fought against it, struggled with all her might. But she was nothing. Nothing of her existed to fight back against something that wasn't even physical. So she merely screamed and screamed and screamed._

 _"_ _AH! Please, stop it!"_

 **"** **You cannot resist. Your mind belongs to me."**

* * *

Shepard and EDI managed to track down the location of the researcher Hadley had mentioned. A certain Dr Garneau. His last known location came from a little mining outpost on an asteroid in the Aysur System in the Caleston Rift. It was a small place but fortified enough that when they pulled up and found Reapers at the door, the beasts had been so repelled by the fortifications that Shepard, Vega and EDI could dispatch them with relatively few troubles.

Once they delved into the mining station itself… things immediately felt off. Everyone spoke in quiet, monotone, sometimes even sleepy voices. They spoke so strangely, as if they were all robots pretending to be people. Several times Shepard tried to interact with these people, to get some help on finding Garneau, but everyone always told him to 'turn back'.

It was at times like these when Shepard wanted Garrus' quippy remarks to help ease the tension. But he wasn't here. When Shepard had returned to the Normandy, offended by Garrus' decision, he struggled to figure out why. Liara had to talk him down, make him see why Garrus had made the right decision and not hold it against him.

He, EDI and Vega searched throughout the station for Garneau. More than once, when they were hit with an obstacle (like an elevator that hadn't been working in almost two years!) they quickly had to work their way around the problem. Despite the fact that he was a spectre, and therefore had the authority to do whatever he pleased, Shepard felt like he had to sneak around this place. Every pair of eyes watched him with a hostile-blankness, if that could be described right. It was as if they were all animals waiting for him to make a sudden move before they pounced.

Breaking into what he thought was another lab but was actually a store room, Shepard was about ready to give up, when EDI found a datapad. After quickly scanning through it, she handed it to him. On it was a short voice message, the comms weren't working here so the message hadn't been able to send.

 _"_ _Bryson, I've had to go into hiding, and I need you to come get me."_ Said a male voice that Shepard assumed was his missing researcher. _"I found another one of those artefacts here. They're more important than we realised. It's in the mines – here's the Navpoint. That's where I'll be. If something happens… I'm attaching a passcode that I hacked together. It'll open any security terminal. Bryson… something is very wrong here. Please hurry. Garneau out."_

"So he's still here," mumbled Shepard. "Come on."

They backtracked to a security terminal, one conveniently placed beside a huge map of the facility. Checking both ends of the corridor for unwanted eyes, Shepard handed EDI the data pad and he and Vega covered her whilst she worked.

"Punch in Garneau's terminal hack." He said. "Let's see where it gets us."

They waited in tense silence. Being an AI, EDI's fingers flew over the keys with uncanny accuracy for their unimaginable speed. It didn't take her long to pull something up. What she found was a video log. It showed the loading area. A shuttle landed and a man stepped out. The images were too sliced up with static to get a clear picture of the man's face.

Shepard checked the date of the footage. "A ship dropped him off a week ago."

"It appears he had full access at one point before going into hiding." Said EDI.

She pulled up files about this individual, and Shepard began to read through the later entries. "Unknown male was involved in an altercation in the mines…"

"He did say he found one of them artefact-things in the mines," said Vega.

Shepard nodded. "Looks like he was taken to the Medbay."

"I have the patient file number." EDI declared, scanning her omnitool over the terminal. The map lit up and showed them the direct path from their current location to the medbay. "Access will not be a problem."

They wound their way through the corridors. The Security terminal had warned that the Medbay was restricted to authorised personel only. Again, Shepard felt the atmosphere go cold. From here on out, the people here would know they didn't belong. Shepard had faced worse enemies in more unsettling environments than this. But still, something about this whole place just felt… off.

As they entered the medbay, EDI directed them to a darkened window overlooking a small rectangular room occupied by a single bed. Inside, a body lay still as stone, the sheet covering the head.

"Is that… Garneau?" Shepard asked. Though he didn't know exactly what the man looked like, the glass of the window was so dark it was difficult to make anything out anyway.

"If it is," said Vega, "then we just snuck our way through the creepiest station in the galaxy for nothing."

"If you are looking for Garneau…" said a voice. Shepard and the others spun to see the window of the room behind them filled with the silhouette of a man. Once again, the glass of the window was so dark, Shepard could barely make out the shape of the man and the gleam of his eyes. He spoke in a monotone voice as he stepped closer to the window. "Then you have found him. I am Dr Garneau."

Well, wasn't that convenient. "I'm Commander Shepard of the Alliance. Are you alright?"

"Yes. Only I'm trapped in here."

"What's been going on in this place?"

Garneau took a moment, as if he were trying to remember. "I was doing my research, until the incident."

"They attacked you?" asked Shepard.

"It's true." The researcher said it as if this incident were as normal as the discussin the weather. There was no resentment, no outrage, no confusion. Just… blandness. "But aside from my confinement, I'm fine."

"Bryson's research led me to you." Said Shepard. Garneau tilted his head. "He's dead, Doctor. Killed by his assistant. I need you to tell me everything you found on the Leviathan. Bryson seemed to think it killed a Reaper."

"It's a myth. A dead end." He said – a little too quickly for Shepard's liking.

"But in your message to Dr Bryson," said EDI, "You mentioned you had found an artefact…"

Those glassy eyes blinked. "I did? No."

"Yes, Doctor, you did," Shepard's brows furrowed. "But now we've got Reaper forces attacking. So I need to break you out. We'll grab the artefact and go."

Garneau's entire body language changed. He shifted back, shoulders hunched, agitated. "Reapers? The darkness must not be breached!"

"The darkness–?"

A fist slammed against the glass. Shepard jumped back, startled. The glass cracked from the force of the blow. A face pressed against the cracks, gaunt and pale, eyes unfocused. The voice of the man became distorted, suddenly dropping to become much deeper than what was humanly possible. " ** _Why do you persue me?"_**

In response to the voice, the glass rattled as if quaking in terror of to whom it belonged. Shepard was unbalanced in his astonishement. "Doctor?!"

 ** _"_** ** _Leave the artefact. You will not take what is mine."_**

EDI put her hand on Shepard's shoulder. "I do not believe we are speaking to Garneau…"

Hadley suffered something like Indoctrination. Was this a puppet like Saren had been? Speaking with someone else's voice from far away. Shepard's eyes narrowed on his adversary, and he growled at this thing-in-a-man's-skin. "You. You killed a Reaper. I need your help!"

 ** _"_** ** _You bring only death."_**

The glass burst.

Shepard and the others hit the floor to avoid the deadly shards that came shooting at their heads. The commander's ears were ringing, like someone had let off a flashbang grenade. Because of it, it took his mind precious seconds to get back in order to realise that Garneau had jumped through the broken window and was now running down the hall. Blinking away his dizziness, Shepard lurched to his feet and began to run after him.

He sprinted down the halls. He didn't know how Leviathan could make his host keep ahead of Shepard, as the soldier was in much better physical condition than the researcher, but it managed. Shepard slammed into a door, a few seconds too late to catch Garneau. Before he could open the door himself, however, the lights suddenly cut out. It took a moment before the back ups came on, illuminating the hallway in a menacing red hue.

"Someone has cut the power!" said EDI.

" _Loco_! He'll be going down to the mines!"

Following Vega's advise, Shepard found his way to the service staircase and began to descend it two at a time, and then leaping down entire flights when that wasn't fast enough. When he finally burst out through the door and into the mines, he was almost immediately swarmed by a group of husks! How the hell did they get in here! Vega saved his ass with a well timed grenade into the thickest of the group and showering a load of bullets on those closest to the commander. Nodding his thanks, Shepard led the way through the now cleared path.

They came into the next room. Husks were crawling everywhere. Garneau was at the centre, attempting to get out of reach of the monsters whilst simultaneously protecting something behind his back. He moved, and Shepard got a glimpse of it. It was another orb, half embedded in the rocks it had been mined from, pulsating glowing green and blue light.

 ** _"_** ** _The darkness cannot be breached!"_** Leviathan snarled through Garneau's mouth.

"Shepard!" exclaimed EDI. "That artefact–"

"Is just like the one in Bryson's office!" he finished for her.

A husk reached for Garneau, to capture him, to shred him, Shepard didn't know and didn't care. He gunned it down and Vega and EDI joined him in helping to try and destroy the enemy threats. One was sneaking up on Garneau's other side, but the researcher was obstructing Shepard's view.

"Move! I've got a shot!"

Garneau slowly turned to regard Shepard and lifted its hand to reveal a detonator in his grasp. **_"TURN BACK!"_**

Shepard tackled his teammates vital seconds before the explosion went off. Heat licked the backs of their armour, dirt and rubbled rained down on them. The earth trembled, but very quickly all went still. Rolling back to his feet, Shepard looked for signs of life. The husks had been destroyed. The Artefact was little more than melted fragments on the stone. Garneau was obliterated.

"Damnit!" he cursed.

"Shepard, over here!" EDI called. In a corner of the room, she stood beside a body that had been dumped and left there. It was thin and the skin was grey. If Shepard stood close enough he could smell the rot and decay. "That was not Garneau. This is. It appears he has been dead for a while."

Shepard surveyed the damage done to this place, his unease growing. "So, Leviathan can have Bryson killed and take over this colony, and he can use them as puppets. Anything else useful?"

She picked up a datapad still held in the dead man's clutches. "Encrypted data. And a personal log with eight missed calls from a… Dr Anne Bryson."

The commander cocked a brow. "Anne Bryson?"

"The old doc's daughter, maybe?" shrugged Vega.

"Could be. EDI, hack through that data. See if you can find out where this Anne Bryson is."

"Hello? Who are you?"

The trio turned to find several of the staff they'd encountered earlier wandering towards them. They all held their heads as if suffering from a headache, their eyes were confused but focused, and thank the lord – they were speaking with actual inflections in their voices! Shepard nodded to them in greeting. "I'm Commander Shepard, with the Alliance. Do any of you recognise this man?"

They looked over the body he pointed to. The Asari of the group looked disturbed at the sight of the corpse but ultimately shook her head. "No… I've never seen him before in my life."

"Or the artefact that you uncovered? What can you tell me about it?"

The human woman looked to her companions. "What are you talking about? What artefact?"

"Damnit." Shepard pressed a finger to his earpiece. "Cortez? Can you come down here and pick us up? I think we've got all we can get from this place."

 _"_ _Sure thing, commander. Strangest thing, though. The Reaper forces just broke off and left."_

"Reaper?" frowned a human male. "What's a Reaper?"

Vega let loose a short, unamused laugh. "Uh, what year did you last check in at, amigo?"

"2176." Said the Asari.

All possible amusement died in Shepard. "What? 2176 was 10 years ago."

"What?!"

It didn't take long for Cortez to arrive. When he did, Shepard made a few calls to have the station be looked over by an Alliance team, and the staff here to be put into temporary quarantine. Was that a side effect of losing control to indoctrination? You lost track of time? It seemed unsettling to Shepard that people could lose _decades_ of their lives and not even know it!

As they boarded the shuttle, EDI echoed his thoughts aloud. "It now seems that Leviathan not only has the power to destroy a Reaper, but possesses an indoctrination ability."

Vega cast Shepard an uncertain look. "You think it might be a real Reaper, Loco?"

"If it is a Reaper," Shepard said slowly, "then I wanna know what it's up to. How long has it been out here, and more importantly, why? What are these artefacts and how do they work?"

"Some of Bryson's notes detail how to block their mind-control capabilities." Supplied EDI.

"Good. Tell Joker to send those notes to Huerta Memorial. Maybe that can help Elaine. And tell someone on that station to shield the mind-control bubble that's sitting right in the middle of the Citadel."


	32. The Cousland Daughter

**Author's Note: I am soooooooooooooooo sorry this chapter is late! In my defence, this past week has just been super busy for me with a lot of projects having similar deadlines. And have you seen the size of this chapter? It's huge! But I hope that means you all enjoy it!**

 **Song for this chapter and those that follow: "I Remember Everything" by Five Finger Death Punch - please listen to it!**

* * *

Sheets tangled around her feet had Elaine jolting awake. Whatever dream had had hold of her, it left a sheen of sweat across her skin, and a racing beat in her heart. She opened her eyes too quickly, and hissed as her eyes were stabbed by the blinding light streaming through the window. Her hair was a mess all around her, dropping into her face and only adding to her disorientation as she tried to bring herself to full wakefulness.

Something heavy rested on her stomach, the familiar weight of a head. Elaine's hand dropped automatically to stroke her fingers along the thick, muscled neck. A cold touch prodded her arm. A wet tongue darted out to taste her skin.

Elaine frowned, but before she could contemplate it, the weight abruptly lifted from her body. A second later, fishy breath wafted into her face. Scrunching her nose in distaste, Elaine looked up into the wide mouth full of sharp teeth that hung over her, tonge lolling and drooling onto her cheeks. Big oak eyes sparkled at her, and small pointed ears were erect in her direction. A dog the size of a small pony was stood on her bed, its paws on either side of her shoulders, small hindquarters wiggling where its stubby tail wagged so fast.

Glancing all around the room, Elaine realised she was in a large four-poster bed with silken curtains fluttering in the breeze of the open window. Her walls were made of stone, the floor decorated with furs and a hundred year old dresser pressed against the far side of the room. In one corner, a leather set of training armour had been slung over its maniquin uncaringly. A steel sword and large round wooden shield carefully placed on her writing desk.

Slowly turning back to the dog above her, Elaine felt the knot in her head clearing. "Perci… Percival?"

The dog – not just any dog, a Mabari – barked at her happily. Percival dove for her, burying his cold, wet nose in the crook of Elaine's neck, making her squeal and squirm like a child. Percival rumbled happily as he showered his mistress in affection, licking at her face and ears with his huge tongue.

Suddenly, a pounding could be heard on the heavy wooden door. "Elaine Cousland! You get yourself out of that bed at once. Do you hear me, young lady?"

"Mother?" Elaine whispered. Her stomach dropped, her heart raced. Pushing Percival off, Elaine scrambled out of the bed and threw open the door. Before her stood a woman in her mid-fifties, grey hair braided into buns at the nape of her neck. Eleanor Cousland. Tears welled in Elaine's eyes and she threw herself at the woman, wrapping her arms around her in a fierce hug. "Mother!"

"Oh!" Eleanor grunted as the force of her daughter's affections almost knocked her off her feet. But there was a smile in her voice as she wrapped her arms around her youngest child. But as soon as Eleanor felt the tense muscles in Elaine's back, she grew concerned. "Come on, I wasn't being _that_ harsh… Elaine? Darling, what's wrong? Was it a bad dream?"

"I…" Elaine frowned, having to think incredibly hard to try and understand why she wanted to burst into tears at that very moment. But the more she tried to remember, a headache formed inside her brain. She was straining but only drawing a blank. "I don't know. I-I can't remember. It was just this… this feeling… You were gone. I was all alone, and–"

"Hush now, dear. Come on and sit down." Eleanor led her back into the bedroom and guided Elaine to sit down on the mattress. Percival sat beside his mistress, nudging her hand to prompt her to stroke him. Doing the usual of checking for fever or throat irritation, Eleanor addressed her daughter. "Listen to me: everything is alright. No need to feel silly. I suspect we're all feeling a little shaken after everything that's happened. What with the Darkspawn and all."

Elaine frowned. "Darkspawn? Are they here?"

"Are you still asleep?" her mother chuckled sweetly. "Elaine, dear, the Darkspawn were beaten back."

"Beaten back? But… it was a Blight. Father said–"

"No, dear. Thank the Maker, it was just an unusually large raiding party. We all jumped to conclusions a little too fast." Strolling to the wardrobe, Eleanor quickly selected a simple but pretty oaken-gold gown and tossed it to Elaine. "Now, hurry up. Everyone's waiting for you downstairs. You know Old Nan will go mad if you let breakfast go cold."

As if her mind were in a haze, Elaine did as she was told. She dressed herself and braided her hair over one shoulder – though the usual two stubborn locks at the front always ran wild. All the while, she attempted to remember the dream. What had happened? She could remember her entire life here in Highever, could remember a few months ago her father receiving the call to arms from the king. And yet she'd awoken this morning, and it seemed that every stone and tapestry filled her with a secret melancholy.

Ignoring this dilemma for now, the youngest Cousland made her way down to the dining hall. There, she found her mother and sister in law, Oriana already at the breakfast table. Oriana smiled politely and greeted her with the same formality as always. Old Nan was just setting the last dishes on the table, and gave Elaine a warm smile – even if she did then send Percival a scowl. Had he gotten into the kitchens again? Elaine would have to inquire about it later. Going to her seat beside her mother, Elaine paused as she spotted Ser Gilmore across the hall, standing to attention. He offered her a bashful smile, and Elaine couldn't stop herself from grinning.

Once again, there was that leap in her hear to see their faces again. But why should she feel this way? She had only seen them last night. Whatever dream she'd had must've –

"Auntie 'Laine!"

A skinny boy burst through the doors and sprinted for her. He tackled Elaine around the middle in a flash of mahogany hair and gangly legs. He smiled up at her widely, his eyes – the icy blue eyes of the Cousland family – dancing with happiness. A surge of joy rushed through Elaine and she laughed, spinning the boy on the spot.

"Oren!" She set him on his feet and ruffled his brown hair – he truly was the spitting image of his father. "Ah-ha! Where have you been, you little blighter!"

"Waiting for you!" He pulled her down into her seat beside him and the pair of them began to load their plates together. Oriana only shook her head in exasperation as she watched, having learned long ago there was no stopping or separating the two. When they began to tuck into their hearty breakfast, Oren turned on Elaine with a piercing look. "You promised you'd take me ridin' today!"

"And we will do – right after breakfast."

"Honestly, Oren," Oriana chided at the child's insolent tone. "Anyone would think you're a Dalish child. All you want is to be outside in the muck and with animals. Thank the Maker the summer is upon us."

Elaine felt something akin to annoyance prick in her stomach. "That's hardly a fair corolation, Oriana. The Dalish we have passing through here are always amicable and civilised people."

"They should be," said Eleanor, "considering how much you hound them for every story they have."

Elaine shrugged. "Those who do not learn their history are doomed to repeat it."

"Fine words indeed, Pup."

The entire room turned to see two men enter the hall, still clad in their armour. They might have been mistaken for brothers, for they had the same shape of face, the same nose and mouth. Except for one was much older, his hair completely silver, his beard on his chin fully realised when compared to the shadow of stubble on his younger counterpart. And the eyes were different. Bryce Cousland had the same icy blue eyes as his daughter and grandson; but Fergus had inherited his mother's shade of brown.

Elaine immediately leapt up from her seat and ran across the hall, throwing her arms around her father in a similar manner to what she had done to her mother upon awakening. "Father!" She could hear her father's laughter as he set her down, and Elaine allowed her joy to be reunited with them overtake her. They had been gone for months fighting for the King, but now they had finally returned! She even allowed Fergus to know how much it meant to her to see him again. "Fergus!"

"Looks like someone missed us." Fergus laughed. "Come now, sister! Your dog breath will ruin my appetite!"

She pulled back from him and made a face. "Good thing I already ate so yours couldn't ruin mine."

"Bryce! My darling!" Eleanor and the others were right on Elaine's heels as they came to greet the men returning home from war. Bryce swept his wife up in his arms and planted a kiss on her temple. Oren sprinted to his father and leapt into his arms.

The family just reveled in being together again, Eleanor didn't even mind that Bryce and Fergus had left their armour on. Slowly, the two men were brought to the table and were given the opportunity to have a full breakfast for the first time in weeks. They all talked animatedly, swapping stories and emotions for this occasion.

Eventually, Eleanor put her hand on her husband's and said: "Elaine's been suffering terrible nightmares recently, Bryce."

"Oh, Pup, I'm sorry." Her father looked upon her with such regretful eyes as he took his daughter's hand in his free one and gace it a gentle squeeze. "You did an outstanding job manning the castle for us. But those dark times are behind us now. I promise."

"I know, Father. I just…" Once again, Elaine attempted to remember the missing puzzle piece that was lurking on the edges of her brain. She even tried to find the words to describe herself, but nothing would come. Everything was fine around her, but she couldn't help but feel like she was missing something, something important. Like half remembering that her mother had instructed to reminder her of something later – only to forget what exactly that was. "When you left, everything seemed so dire. I cannot believe it's over so easily."

"I know." Fergus nodded around a mouthful of sausages. "The Grey Wardens had us all going for a while there!"

"But surely they wouldn't get something like a Blight wrong… could they?" Elaine frowned.

Bryce seemed as perplexed as she was. "They say the Archdemon must've been stirring, but it hasn't fully risen. _Yet_. I hear they're currently going from hold to hold, recruiting for a big expedition to slay the beast before it can rise up completely."

Oriana placed a hand over her heart. "May the Maker watch over those poor souls…"

"And what of the battle?" Elaine pressed.

"Loghain turned coward and attempted to quit the field." Her father's brows turned down in a rare sow of contempt. "When Fergus and I were travelling down to Ostagar, we managed to spot the Orlesian Chevaliers and their Wardens stuck at the border. We escorted them to the battle. If not for our arrival, and the sacrifice of some of the bravest men, the battle would have been lost."

Fergus grunted into his mug of ale. "I hear the-son-of-a-whore is going to hang before the end of the week!"

"Fergus!" Oriana hissed. "Language!"

Oren looked between his parents, confused. "What's a hoor?"

"Never you mind, Oren!" Eleanor said sharply.

"This dream must have seriously troubled you, my daughter," Bryce said gently to Elaine. "But don't worry, everything is perfect. We're all together. That's what matters."

She glanced down at the hand that still held hers, and then up to her father's face again. Around the table were all the people she loved most in this world. They were all here, all safe. Her heart warmed as she accepted this reality. "Yes, father. It's perfect."

"Maybe we'll have a mage make you something to help you sleep tongiht?"

"You're going to need it." Fergus giggled to himself.

Elaine's eyes narrowed. "Need it?"

Bryce sent Fergus a reproachful look, and at least her brother had the decency to look a little downcast. "I was hoping to keep that as a surprise, Fergus." He said, before turning to his wife. "Sorry to spring more surprises on you, my love, but I've invited the Howes to stay with us for a short while. The man saved me in battle – I thought it only fit that I celebrate his bravery and heroism."

For a reason that was completely unknown to her, Elaine felt a sudden aversion to the name Howe spring to life in her stomach. It wasn't just dislike – that she could understand, for Rendon Howe could be rather obnoxious. No, this was _hate_ that made her stomach burn and she had no idea why that was. "The Howes?"

"Yes. Rendon and his son, Nathaniel. Delilah is in charge of Amaranthine whilst her father and brother are away."

"No word of Thomas?" asked Eleanor.

"Unfortunately, the poor boy didn't survive the Darkspawn."

"Oh, poor Rendon. He must be devastated." Whispered Elaine's mother with heartfelt sympathy. Yet in the next moment, it was swallowed by her growing determination. "We will be sure to put on a feast like no other for them! For bringing you back to me, my love, they deserve a little moment of happiness."

"That then brings me to something else…" Bryce winced as he slowly turned his eyes on Elaine.

She immediately felt her stomach sink. "What…?"

"I got talking to Rendon, Pup – and please bear in mind, that I will give my approval so long as you wish for this to happen. Remember, no one here would force you into anything you do not wish."

"Father, please speak plainly. You're making me nervous."

Turning his chair to fully face her, Bryce leant forward in his seat and fixed her with a serious stare. "Rendon and I… we'd like to betroth you to Nathaniel."

* * *

Descending onto the desert-like planet below, Shepard, Liara and EDI were all grim faced in their efforts to find the elusive Ann Bryson. They'd followed Garneau's messages and transmissions from Ann here, but the Reapers appeared to be one step ahead of them. Upon their arrival, Joker gravely informed them the entire area was swarming with Reaper forces. It worried Shepard a little. First the mining colony and now this place? Were the Reapers just as desperate as he was to find Leviathan?

"This is the main site of a series of excavations established by Dr Garret Bryson," EDI had told them on the way down to the planet's surface. "Staff records confirm the project lead is his daughter, Ann. She has recently uncovered another artefact possibly linked to Leviathan. That discovery must've made the digsite a target to the Reapers."

Shepard had nodded. "It seems they want to find Leviathan as much as we do. But why?"

"Considering Leviathan possibly killed a Reaper, it stands to reason they wish to eliminate a potential threat."

Liara also looked intrigued. Since realising they were after a fellow scientist and archaeologist, Shepard was secretly pleased to see more of her younger naïve persona come through again. "The artefact she uncovered may have caused additional problems. Who knows what we'll find?"

"Why do you think I brought along my trusty ex-archeologist?" Shepard grinned at her.

Upon landing, however, all mirth was gone from them. The skies were filled with Harvesters. The ground was running wild with Husks and Marauders and Cannibals. Cortez even had to do a drive by in dropping them off – the shuttle couldn't stay in one place for any length of time without being immediately attacked. The moment their feet touched the floor, Shepard and the others had to let loose a hail of bullets to keep the hostiles back.

"This isn't a digsite – it's a warzone!" shouted Liara above the noise.

They fought their way through the area, climbing higher up the side of a cliff-face to get to Ann Bryson's position. The elevators in the scaffolding had been compromised with debris, so they had to scale level by level manually in effort to get to their target.

EDI managed to hack them into the local frequency so that Shepard could hopefully contact the woman they were here for. "Dr Bryson, can you hear me? This is Commander Shepard, I'm with the Alliance."

 _"_ _Oh thank god!"_ a female voice half sobbed with relief. _"We're trying to stay down, but they're swarming us!"_

"Stay low. We're coming up."

 _"_ _Okay. Please hurry – I think Hopkins is dead…"_

It took Shepard half an hour longer than he would've liked to fulfil that promise, but he and the others eventually made it. Marauders were camped outside the door, trying to get in to a locked cabon. The enemy was distracted and hadn't noticed their arrival. A singularity from Liara and well placed shots from EDI and Shepard dispatched them. Shepard knocked on the door, and it unclicked immediately. Inside, was a human woman, her brown hair cut into a short bob, her face broad and square and streaked with tears. She was knelt beside the body of a man.

"He tried to run. I told him not to, but he wanted to help the others. Where did everyone go?"

Shepard sighed. He had expected to find more resistance here, but all he found were bodies. These people had been scientists, not soldiers. They never stood a chance against Reaper mercilessness. "They didn't make it. I'm sorry, Doctor – but I need you to come with me. Now."

She didn't resist, hurrying along where he led her, but her grief was evident. "Oh god. Oh god. Oh god!"

"Doctor Bryson," Liara asked. "Do you know what the Reapers want?"

"I…" the human woman struggled for a moment to remember herself. "I was at another dig site when they attacked. I got back as fast as I could but… Wait. You're Liara T'soni!"

Was it possible for Asari to blush? Shepard could've sworn he saw his girlfriend's cheeks turn a darker shade of blue. "Well, I…"

"Shepard," EDI abruptly interrupted. "Look."

They all turned as one. Liara muttered something about her goddess in awe. On the wall before them, about twenty feet high, was a cave painting. It was faded in areas and parts were missing from the passage of time. But the overall image was unmistakable. In red and black, the silhouette was clearly that of a lone Reaper.

"I'm not sure what's going on," Shepard said to Ann, "but I think it might have something to do with those paintings. Is that Leviathan?"

"Y-Yes, we think so. It's old. Much older than my father thought. And there–" she pointed to the bottom of the painting, and Shepard saw there small figures that looked humanoid in shape, all bowing to the Reaper-figure. "As if the natives are under its power. Clearly a Reaper, but acting alone. Not like any Reaper we've seen before."

Although it confirmed his suspicions, it wasn't exactly comforting news. "Doctor, I understand you found something recently."

"The artefact? Yes, of course. Incredible. It's just up ahead." It was here the Ann Bryson led the way, taking them around the corner, more crates of equipment stacking up on either side of the path as evidence of this route being routinely used. "It may sound strange, but I'm certain it affects people. Their behaviour. I've only had a short time to study it."

"Not stange at all." Shepard muttered. "What else?"

"Not much, but I did learn something about the energy it generates–"

They turned the corner and came face to face with a congregation of Reaper forces. They were all gathered around another one of those spherical artefacts. Like it was some holy relic that they prayed to, the monsters were unnaturally still and quiet as they kept their attention on the orb unwaveringly. A Marauder stepped up to the orb, and was surrounded in a green aura that shot out of the orb and lifted the former-turian into the air.

"Get down!" Shepard grabbed Ann and pushed her to the ground. Behind them, Liara and EDI followed suit. Peeking out from behind the cover of a crate, Shepard whispered: "What're they doing?"

"They've activated it, somehow!" Ann whispered excitedly. "I've never managed anything–"

She'd suddenly gone still. And then abruptly, she stood up. Shepard looked up in alarm at her glassy and unfocused eyes. "Doctor?"

 _"_ _They've learned too well,"_ Ann spoke in a dreamy voice. _"The Darkness must not be breached…"_

"Take it out!" the commander ordered loudly. EDI obeyed and immediately let off a shot that shattered the orb like it was made of glass. Immediately, Ann collapsed to the ground, as the did the Marauder the orb had suspended in the air. As one, all the Reaper forces turned to Shepard's position and roared.

"Doctor!" Shepard tried to shake her awake. "Cortez, we have Ann Bryson! Need a pickup!"

 _"_ _On my way, Commander!"_

Liara and EDI had to cover Shepard as he half dragged, half carried Ann through to the nearest edge as Cortez swooped the shuttle in low. They barely made it through, as the Reapers seemed determined to rip them apart, as if destroying that artefact was a personal insult to them. But they made it, and the moment the last squad-member got in, Cortez was flying off as fast as his thrusters would allow.

Shepard sat Ann down and tried to rouse her. "Ann? Ann! Talk to me!"

She blinked, confused and disorientated, but still waved him away. "I-I-I'm okay… I think. Blacked out for a moment."

"Leviathan took control of you." Shepard told her. "We cut the connection before you got hurt."

Instead of being frightened or appalled as he expected, Ann looked immediately energised and excited by the idea. "Leviathan itself? That's incredible!"

"The Reapers seem as interested in it as we are. We were hoping you could help us figure out why. But…" Here Shepard paused. He knew from past expierences that if he kept this information in, it would bite him in the ass later. "Uh, Doctor? I have some bad–"

"Ann, please." She corrected half-heartedly, not really paying attention to him. "Suppose Leviathan's broken away from the other Reapers? Never went back to Dark Space? Like a rogue or even a defector? I have to all my father! He'll want to know."

Shepard caught her wrist before she could activate her omnitool. "Ann, your father is dead. I'm sorry."

She froze, and then shook her head. "He's… what? Dead? No! That can't be."

"Your father's assistant. One minute he was fine… the next – he drew a gun on your father. Leviathan made him do it. We have to find out what's behind it all. You're the only one who can help us."

The woman seemed to be on the verge of tears, but she resolutely nodded and tried to clear her voice. "O-Of course. I'll do everything I can, Commander."

Hesitantly, Liara stepped forward. "Dr Bryson… Ann, maybe you could start by telling us what happened to you when Leviathan took control?"

Ann's brows furrowed as she tried to think. "Like I said, I blacked out. But… No, it was more than that. It was dark, cold."

"Hadley said the same thing." Said Shepard.

"But that's not all. There was a voice, something sweeping me away. It took my mind somewhere else. There was a part of me staying here, sealed off, but the rest of me? Was like I was being called to a dream."

Liara's brows slowly rose higher and higher as an idea began form in her mind. Her thoughts were such a rush with the possibilities that she was to eager to curb her enthusiasm. She went straight to her boyfriend.

"Shepard? Can I have a word?" she pulled him to one side, so that they might have the illusion of a private conversation. "I need to get to the Citadel as soon as possible. I think I might know a way to help Elaine."

Shepard looked at her in confusion for a moment, and then incredulous. "You wanna go? Liara, I need you to help me find this thing!"

"Shepard, Garrus messaged me this morning," she told him in a gentle but firm voice. "Garneau's notes haven't helped Elaine. She's still in the coma. I have to try to help. Please, she's our friend."

Shepard was reluctant to let her go, and she was reluctant to leave. She knew he might take it personally, but he also knew the importance of helping their friends. With little choice, he nodded.

* * *

Garrus numbly punched in the numbers in the vending machine to get a dextro-protien bar. That had been about the extent of his deit for the past two days but he was beyond caring about the taste or his complaining stomach. It was just white noise in the background now. He was exhausted from constantly sitting by Elaine's bedside, waiting for the moment she would wake up to come, though it never did. Is nerves were frayed to their last strands now.

A woman came up beside him, dark skin and big curly hair framing her face. She was dressed in a nurs' uniform, and the look on her face held a sincerity that Garrus felt exhausted by when just glancing at her. She was speaking to him, but he could only tune in and out at various points. "Mr Vakarian, we're not exactly sure what to say… We've run all the tests we can, we've tried various methods to induce a response but… I'm afraid there's nothing more we can do."

That caught his attention. That sounded suspiciously like they were giving up. It gave him a spike of adrenaline to address this matter fully. "Wait! Don't those notes from Shepard help at all?"

"We really are sorry, sir," the nurse mumbled with a wince. "But it seems she needs to be the one to decide when she's going to wake up." As if she could see how such words crushed what little hope he had left, she added: "Look, if it helps… maybe just talk to her? Research shows coma patients can still be aware of their surroundings. Maybe if you hold her hand? Talk to her? Maybe that'll encourage her to come back."

She left him after that. When Garrus wandered back to Elaine's room and sat in his usual uncomfortable seat, he found those words echoing around inside his skull. He stared down at Elaine, looking for all the world to be in peaceful slumber. A machine beeped out the echo of her heartbeat to him. The room smelled strongly of disinfectant. He knew she would hate it if she woke up here. But what else was he supposed to do?

Tentatively, he twined his fingers through hers and pressed the back of her hand against his mandible, their wedding rings glinting together in the light. With a hoarse voice, he began: "Hey, tough-girl. Um, I just wanna say, if this is your idea of a prank, if you wake up, I promise to laugh – even if it wasn't very funny to begin with. I mean, come on, Elaine, this is scaring the shit out of me."

Was it his imagination, or did her eyes twitch behind her eyelids? Or was he so desperate for some kind of sign that he was projecting things onto her that weren't there? He leant down to nuzzle her temple, his mandibles catching in her hair, the scent of lillies the only thing to bring him any comfort.

"I know I probably don't say this enough, but… I just want you to know that I love you. I love you so much, Elaine. Please, if you can hear me… just open your eyes. Please."

* * *

Castle Cousland was once again a hub of activity as everyone got ready for the arrival of their guests in the next few days. The Howes wouldn't be bringing their soldiers with them this time, as most of their men had been sent ahead home. Instead they only had a token force with them when they arrived at Highever.

Eleanor had forced Elaine in front of the vanity all morning, trying to tame her pale locks into something more fashionably acceptable. They ended up braiding it around her head so that it looked like a crown of hair. It also took several attempts and two arguments before the pair of them could decide on a dress for her to wear. Elaine had to constantly remind her mother that she had not consented to this match yet, so there was no need to make such a fuss of selling her like a merchant trying to bargain off his daughter to a naïve Bann. In the end, they settled on a lilac dress that had been brought back from Orlais last year. It was beautiful, made of silk and conforming to Elaine's body shape to accentuate all the right curves and exaggerate her feminine side whilst obscuring the muscles on her arms and legs. Yet at the same time, it wasn't too tight, Elaine could move easily in it, and it wasn't overly hot. That was about the best she could hope for when it came to her mother.

The met the arrival of Rendon and Nathaniel Howe on the castle steps as a family, with Bryce and Eleanor at the front, with Fergus and Elaine behind them and Oriana and Oren at the rear. When the two Howe men had dismounted from their horses, Elaine had been a little taken aback. The last time she had seen Nathaniel Howe, he had been a skinny runt of a teenager, just before he had been sent to the Free Marches to squire for some lord – she couldn't remember his name. Nathaniel had grown into a tall and rougish-looking man. His dark hair was long with small braids keeping the looks back from his temples. The shadow of stubble on his chin had formed into a perfectly kept goatee that made his thin mouth look wickedly cunning. He wasn't muscular like a warrior would be, instead he was built lean and quick – Fergus had said he was an accomplished archer.

But Rendon Howe… Again, Elaine couldn't explain why her gut instinct told her to hate this man with every fibre of her being. Her instinct screamed to stab him in the heart, but she couldn't figure out why. Usually, her gut was never wrong… but surely this was just her imagination.

The Howes were greated warmly by the family, and welcomed into their home. They had arrived later than expected, but still early enough for the father and son to refreshen and change out of their armour before dinner was due to be served.

At dinner, Bryce was sat at the head of the table with Eleanor and Rendon on either side of him. Elaine was sat beside her mother and opposite Nathaniel – something she was sure was arranged by her mother. Fergus, Oriana and Oren were sat down on Elaine's other side.

"Oren, please can you hold your knife and fork properly?" Oriana chided her young son quietly. As the meal had progressed, the bored boy had began to slash his knife through the air before cutting his food in an exaggerating manner.

"It's not a knife, mama, it's my _sward_!" said the boy indignantly.

Fergus rolled his eyes. "That's _sword,_ Oren."

"Aunty 'Laine was teachin' me in the yard today!"

All eyes turned on Elaine where she had frozen, fork half way to her mouth. Damnit. She had been hoping to keep that a secret. After the Howes arrival, she'd needed to let off some steam and had gone to the training yard – quickly changing out of her dress and back again before her mother could notice. "I have no idea what he's talking about. Must've been a twin I am unaware of – Mother, do I have a twin?"

"Whether it were you or your mysterious twin," Nathaniel said in his deep gravely voice, a small smile plaing at the corners of his mouth, "I must say I haven't seen finer swordsmanship. The way you move is absolutely incredible, my lady."

Elaine was certain he meant it innocently, but she couldn't shake the feeling that he was flirting with her. She fought the urge to blush. She was unsure of how to respond. Usually when men flirted with her, they were obvious and brazen about it. Not subtle and sweet. And those men also hadn't been prospective husbands…

"Please, call me Elaine." She said eventually.

"It would not be proper–"

"Nathaniel," her father said with a grin, "after everything we have been through, we are all friends here. You can drop the formalities."

Now it was Nathaniel's turn to blush a little. "Thank you, Your Lordship."

"Nathaniel," Rendon said with a sideways glance at his son, "why don't you tell the young Lady Cousland of some of our adventures on the road? It seemed like we ran into something odd almost every day. Didn't we, Bryce?"

Her father nodded. "Indeed. When the King asked me to root out the darkspawn to the west on my journey home, I did not think I would find a Golem in a poor village of all places."

Oren's knife and fork clattered to his plate loudly. He leaned forward across the table to look eagerly to his grandfather. "A rock monster? What was it doing, grandpa?"

"Well… just standing there. I am unfamiliar with how they work – the science of them was lost to the dwarves ages ago."

Oriana coughed politely to gain everyone's attention, and spoke in a soft voice as if she were afraid speaking any louder than a murmur would knock the walls down. Sometimes her antics exasperated Elaine. "In Antiva, I once saw a circus performer with a Golem. Apparently, they need control rods to function. Perhaps this one was without one?"

Arl Howe didn't deign to look up from his plate at her. "I wouldn't put much stock in cheap foreign entertainment, my Lady."

"I thought you was gonna tell me you fought the monster, grandpa – with your _ritus sward_!" Oren proclaimed, brandishing his knife aloft.

 _"_ _Righteous sword_ , Oren." Sighed Fergus.

"Actually," said Bryce, "from what I hear, Nathaniel here had his share of monster killing."

That had Elaine looking up in interest. "Oh?"

"Well, it wasn't much," said the young nobleman bashfully. "We were returning from Ostagar, passing through a small farming hamlet, when we found a Qunari."

"A Qunari?" her mother echoed in wonder. "You don't see many of them so far south. I wonder what on earth he was doing in the middle of Ferelden."

"Nothing good, Eleanor," sneered Rendon. "We found the brute right after he decided to commit an act of murder."

"Murder?!" Elaine couldn't understand why her heart was suddenly beating so fast.

Nathaniel looked at his plate, his face suddenly grey. "It was horrible. Just a small farming family – I don't think they had a single weapon in their house to call their own. His hands were still stained with their blood when we found him. Even the children…"

"I don't think Oren should hear this…" murmured Oriana.

Rendon scoffed. "The boy needs to learn of the horrors we have skulking 'round our borders. The Qunari, Orlais, all of them waiting for the moment to strike."

"Calm your anger, my friend," said Bryce soothingly but firmly. "None of them have made a move yet, and we just finished with one crisis. I am not so eager to see any more so soon." He then redirected his attention back to Nathaniel. "I assume you dealt with this murderer?"

"Yes. He outright admitted to the deed. Put up no resistance."

Elaine's knuckled were white as she clenched her hand around her fork. "What did you do?"

"The only thing I could, my lady. He was a murderer and confessed to the crime. On my father's orders, I executed him."

"One less horned bastard." Muttered Rendon.

There was silence at the table after that. Elaine had lost all her appetite, but her mind was awash with confusion. She had never seen a Qunari before in her life, had no personal connection to them in order to sympathise. From Nathaniel's story, she should be congratulating him. She had always hated injustice. But for some reason, her stomach felt bitter, soured.

Abruptly, Oren broke the silence. "Grandma… is Aunty 'Laine goin' to marry Nathaniel? I heard Old Nan say she would."

Elaine and Eleanor exchanged a look. Upon seeing her daughter's unamused expression, Eleanor wisely tried to difuse the situation. "Oh! I think Old Nan needs to keep her opinions to herself."

Nathaniel was grinning as he leaned towards the boy and asked, "Would you like her to, Oren?"

Immediately, he shook his head. "No. Gettin' married means you'd have to kiss. And Lily from the stables told me kissin' is how ya grow old."

Elaine couldn't help herself from laughing. Nathaniel chuckled too and bowed his head. "Then we shall endeavour to preserve our youth on your orders, young Teyrn."

Sometime later, Oriana took Oren up to bed, whilst Bryce, Fergus, Rendon and Eleanor moved to the parlour for some brandy and to talk more. Elaine thought this was the best moment to slip away. Her head felt a little light and her stomach was heavy from the food. She made her way to a set of double doors that would let her onto a balcony. A soft breeze tickled her neck and instantly let her cool down as she leant against the stone railing.

A polite cough behind her made her jump. She whirled around to find Nathaniel right behind her. She hadn't even heard him come out behind her! He wasn't invading her space, infact he stood with his hands held behind his back, an earnest smile on his face. Elaine quickly righted herself and smoothed out her gown. Her stomach was buzzing as if a hive of bees had nested there.

She couldn't stand the awkward silence, and blurted the first thing that came to mind. "I think I should apologise for my nephew… he has yet to curb his impulses."

"There is no need," said Nathaniel. "Considering that he's just uncovered the secret to eternal youth, I'd say his impulses are well founded. Maybe the chantry sisters are onto something with their vow of chastity?"

Elaine made a face. "Let's not give them too much credit…"

They laughed together. But soon their giggles died. At least the silence that grew between them didn't feel as forced anymore. Nathaniel came to stand beside her at the railing, and the pair of them gazed out onto the great expanse of the Waking Sea, unsually calm beneath the menagerie of stars above.

"Lady Cousland… Elaine…" Nathaniel began. "I'm sorry. For all this – my father and this betrothal… I know it must come as quite a shock."

"A shock?"

"From what I hear," he sent her a cheeky grin, "the great Elaine Cousland is a strong, independent warrior the likes of which would rival Lady Shayna of Calenhad's time."

Elaine cocked a brow. "You do know Shayna later dishonoured herself when she seduced Calenhad with magic?"

"Well, yes, but…" he spluttered, cheeks burning crimson. "The point is… I know it must've been jarring for you. And I want you to know that, should you not wish it, I will not force this betrothal on you."

That _did_ shock her. "But, Nathaniel, your father–"

"My time squiring in the Free Marches has taught me a lot about myself and my honour. And I know that neither belongs to my father. If you really don't want this, I shall not hold it against you."

"I-I just… I am undecided… It is hard to imagine your entire life, and the decisions that might change it, all in a moment." On the water far below, seals broke the waves as they raced on. Elaine bit her lip as she watched the seals dance and play. She looked to Nathaniel, and made a low hum in her throat. "Perhaps we'd make a horrible match."

He choked on air from a sudden burst of chuckles. "Oh really?"

"Indeed." Elaine ran with it, nodding her head self-importantly, the way she had seen the ladies of the court do at Denerim. "I cannot abide a man who only grows part of his facial hair. Either have a beard or none of it. What is the purpose of the little bit on your chin?"

"You wound me!" Nathaniel clamped his hand over his heart and staggered, making her laugh. "Mayhaps you're right. I desire a woman who thinks with her mind and not her sword."

"I do too!" she shot back too quickly, and his smug smirk told her he knew it. She grinned and faced him fully. "When I am married, I will not allow my husband to order me around. We are partners, not master and servant."

"As it should be. And when I am married, I will be sure to shower my wife with plenty of children to spoil and love as she desires."

"At least a dozen!"

"Why not more?"

Elaine's heart was beating with excitement as she imagined a dozen children, boys and girls. Some had her hair or their father's, but they all had her eyes. They would be red faced from screaming for their own way, they'd be dirty from playing in the mud with leaves in their hair from climbing trees, they'd be plump from all the food she and her mother would back for them. And as that image painted itself in her mind, Elaine realised just how much she wanted to keep it. For most of her life, she had rebelled against the idea of being some Lord's broodmare. She had sworn herself to the life of a warrior, to make her mark on the world. Being a second mother to Oren was all the mothering she had wanted. But now… all at once, she realised just how desperately, bone achingly, whole heartedly, she wanted children.

Nathaniel had stepped closer to her without her even realising, so lost in her own thoughts was she. He only brought her back to reality when he brushed a strand of her hair out of her face from where it had worked its way free fo the braid. His fingers lingered against her skin, his voice taking on a quieter, huskier tone. "Look at that… perhaps we would not be so terrible together after all…"

Stood on the balcony with the stars above them, the sea quiet below them, with his fingers caressing her cheek, the pair of them giggling about the children they wanted to spoil. It sounded like something out of a bard's most romantic song. And perhaps she was swept away by the romantics of the evening, for Elaine found herself leaning into his touch. "Perhaps you're right… it would be a terrible night to turn a man down on…"

"Indeed…" Ever so slowly, again giving her the chance to back away if she so desired, Nathaniel cupped her cheek in his palm and bent his face towards her. His eyes closed, and she found her own mirroring him. She felt his breath ghost against her lips, the hint of his taste already coming to her.

White noise popped in her ears. The buzzing in her stomach transformed from soft bees to angry wasps that made her sick. And through it, she distinctly heard a voice, deep and flanging as if with two sets of vocals, whisper right beside her ear. _"I love you, Elaine. Please come back to me."_

She'd never heard the voice before, she was sure of it. So why did her heart leap inside her, an instinct like a bird migrating home telling her to go to the voice. The swirling thoughts were so much, Elaine felt dizzy. So dizzy in fact, that she didn't register at first the ground shaking underneath her with a small tremor. Nathaniel had to steady her before they could both fall over the edge of the balcony.

"Oh! What a quake." He said. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say your family was hiding dragons beneath the castle."

Elaine glanced all around. In all her life she hadn't noticed earthquakes in Highever before. But with the quake, the dizziness had been snapped out of her head. Yet still, she felt a little uneasy, like something wasn't right here. "Um, sorry, Nathaniel, excuse me. I find I need a little air… to think."

What else would she say? That she needed room to try and explain even to herself why she suddenly felt so wrong being in his arms? Was she just being silly? She didn't take herself for a Chantry school-girl. Nathaniel didn't protest or inquire anything further, and for that she was grateful. As she made her way through the Castle, Percival managed to find her again from where he'd been banished from the dinning hall. She was glad of his company, the faithful Mabari seemed to know something was wrong with his mistress and so just wanted to be beside her. He accompanied her all the way to the castle chapel. Elaine didn't know why her feet had drawn her here. She believed in the Maker as much as the next Andrastian, but she never found herself praying routinely or coming to the chapel on a regular basis except for on mandated occasions. So why now? Staring up at the giant statue of the Holy Bride, was she here for guidance? Solace?

"May I help you child?"

Elaine startled at the voice. Two women had come up behind her, one she knew from the last several years; dark hair and unusually youthful face for a priest. "Oh, Mother Mallol, I'm sorry. I just…" she trailed off when no words came to her. And conveniently, that was also when her brain noticed the stranger beside Mother Mallol. She was a beautiful woman, with short red hair and sparkling eyes. "Who is this?"

"This is Sister Leliana," said Mother Mallol, and Leliana bowed so perfectly, it would've made Elaine's etiquette tutor weep. "She arrived just this morning."

"Have you only recently sworn your vows?" Elaine asked the woman pleasantly – privately, she thought Leliana too young to have sworn herself to the Chantry, she couldn't have been any older than Elaine herself!

"Yes." Said Leliana, her voice beautifully toned like a singer, thick with an Orlesian accent. "I am grateful to the Maker for being here."

Mallol suddenly looked upon her fellow sister with disapproval. "As you should be. You know what we discussed, Leliana."

She bowed her head in shame. "The Chantry has no room for attention-seekers, Mother Mallol. I know that. My visions were nothing more than a fabrication of my imagination."

Stomach twisting over itself, Elaine could not help but feel a sense of grief for this woman. But she did not know her, so why did she feel as if she wanted to sweep this woman into her arms and tell her everything was going to be alright? Perhaps this night was cursed, so the younger Cousland politely excused herself by feigning illness. And then, with Percival faithfully at her heels, she took herself off to bed.

* * *

It was the early hours of the morning when the Normandy arrived back on the Citadel. Shepard immediately took Ann to her father's lab, and Liara caught the first cab she could to the hospital. She already knew which room Garrus and Elaine would be in – her agents kept her well informed on a lot of things. Garrus had been anxiously waiting for her. She'd left her message to him vague on purpose. This was something that was difficult to put into words to explain in a impersonal email. She needed to try and explain her idea to him face to face.

But it turns out that wasn't so easy either.

"Okay…" Garrus said slowly, tapping his foot on the tiles. "Walk me through this plan again."

"Leviathan is reaching out to its victims and takes control of their brain functions, similar to indoctrination." Said Liara.

"Comforting."

"But it's not exactly the same," she stressed, gazing at the woman laid peacefully in the hospital bed. "Ann Bryson described the experience like being pulled into a dream. What if Leviathan 'moves' the conscious brain to the subconscious in order to take control of the victim? That might mean they are still in there, sealed away."

"Riiiight… So where do we come in?"

Now came the hard part for Liara. "Do you remember my mother? She sealed off a part of her mind to resist Saren's indoctrination. If I can use the same trick on Elaine – reach inside her mind to cut off a part of her mind from Leviathan – maybe it will be enough to weaken Leviathan's hold on her."

"And she can wake up?" the hope was palpable in his voice. Liara didn't answer. She didn't want t odisappoint him should this fail. But they both knew everyone else was out of ideas. Garrus' shoulders slumped. "Crap. Doesn't look like we have much of a choice. Alright. Do it."


	33. The Ghost

The next morning, Elaine's father excitedly announced that they were to receive a pair of very special guests. Grey Wardens! Elaine's interest was immediately caught and she wanted nothing more than to ply her father with endless questions. But she would have to hold them for her guests. Oren and Elaine had whispered together animatedly on what they would ask of the Grey Wardens. They were meant to be the best warriors in all Thedas, the best mages, the best rogues. They only recruited absolute excellence, or so her father had once taught her. Oren was almost as giddy as Elaine, right up until his mother had come to spirit him away, declaring that such a meeting was no place for a child. Elaine and her nephew wore the exact same pout as he was dragged away.

When the hour finally arrived to receive their new arrivals, Elaine decided to ignore her mother's insistence on a beautiful gown, and polished her best armour to the finest shine. She stood beside her family armed and armoured. These Grey Wardens were warriors and deserved to be greeted by one. She felt only a little silly when she walked onto the front steps of the castle and noticed Howe's raised brow of slight disapproval. Nathaniel gave her thumbs up, and she smiled sheepishly. She hadn't spoken to him since last night yet.

"It would seem our home is becoming quite the hotspot for interesting visitors." Her mother whispered to her and Fergus, smiling.

"A guest of this stature demands certain protocols. I am at a disadvantage." Grumbled Arl Howe.

Finally, the two Wardens arrived and dismounted their horses. One was a tall human man, his jaw covered in a neatly trimmed black beard, his hair tied back. He carried a weary air about him, as if he were the wisest and oldest man in Thedas, and yet there was this authority that radiated off of him. By his side was a dwarf, Elaine was pleasantly surprised to see. His bright red hair had been cut short but his beard was so long, the mostache was braided all the way to his stomach.

"Welcome Warden-Commander Duncan!" her father announced, stepping forward to clasp the hand of his guest.

"It is an honour to be a guest within your halls, Teyrn Cousland." Said the human Warden – Duncan.

"The honour is mine. Your order has saved humanity time and time again – and our most recent victory at Ostagar shows how much we still need you."

"You flatter me, good Teyrn." Duncan stepped aside and gestured for his dwarvish companion to come forward. "May I introduce one of my newest recruits?"

The dwarf looked at the assembled humans, and Elaine noticed his eyes were slightly bloodshot. When he spoke, his voice was slightly slurred. "The name's Oghren."

When no one seemed to know what to make of the dwarf (they were rare on the surface), Elaine stepped forward and gave a nod of respect to Oghren. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Master Dwarf."

"You don't see many of them on the surface." Said Howe, it was a sentence meant to be said quietly so said-dwarf wouldn't hear. But Elaine had a feeling Howe made it loud enough on purpose. "How… unique."

"Howe, I am surprised at your tone," her father reprimanded quickly. "The dwarves are renowned warriors. Isn't that right, Warden Oghren?"

Oghren glared at the assembled humans, and then grunted under his breath and shoved his way through them into the castle. "Sodding nug humping humans… where's a good ale…"

Howe looked mortified. Eleanor's cheeks turned pink at the language. Duncan winced. "My apologies, Teyrn Cousland. Oghren is still processing his new circumstanes."

"Is he well?" Elaine asked, genuinely concerned. There was a voice in her head that whispered Oghren shouldn't be this way…

"Do not worry for him." Duncan reassured her with a kind and patient smile. "Oghren was exiled from Orzammar to the surface a few months ago. I found him drowning his sorrows, and thought to make better use of his talents. I have no doubt that he will one day make a fine Grey Warden. Though… even I am a little surprised at his capacity to drink. I hope your cellars are well stocked."

They went inside, Bryce and Eleanor leading Duncan, with the Howes close behind. Elaine and Fergus trailed at the rear, and Elaine was trying to list the importance of each question she wanted to ask. Would it be considered rude to just launch into a thousand inquires?

So lost in her own thoughts, she didn't notice her brother at all until he elbowed her and whispered: "You know what they're saying, don't you, sister? Father said the Grey Wardens are mass recruiting to go on their next expedition into the Deep Roads. I bet Duncan's got his eye on Ser Gilmore."

Elaine's brows rose at that. "That would be an honour… but… are we sure that's what Gilmore wants?"

"Still holding a candle, sweet sister?" Fergus teased. "And here I thought you were on your way to marriage!"

She punched his ribs. He laughed and shoved her nearly into a display cabinet. Her mother heard the ruckus and quickly sent the pair of them a frosty glare to pack it in.

They all went into the parlour, and polite conversation ensued. Elaine waited silently in the corner, bored out of her mind. It was considered good hostess manners for her to stay and listen to all that was discussed here until she was excused. But she desperately wanted things to move along to a more familiar manner so that she could stop biting her tongue to silence her curiosity! Looking over at Fergus, she could tell he too was struggling, as his eyes were drooping and his head was bobbing. She threw a grape at him and it hit his nose. He snorted awake so loudly everyone looked at him. Elaine had to smother her laughter.

"Ser Duncan!" Howe announced loudly over his third glass of brandy. "Perhaps you could entertain us with tales of your victories?"

"I am not sure…" Duncan began but was quickly drowned out by everyone else's enthusiasm. "Very well. What would you like to hear?"

"How did you win the Battle of Ostagar?" Elaine said quickly before anyone else could speak.

Instantly, Duncan's kind eyes turned sorrowful. "Not easily, I'm sad to say, Lady Elaine. The Darkspawn did outnumber the King's men on the field, and that was before Loghain fled the battle. Whilst an Archdemon did not make an appearance, the raid was led by an Emmisary – one of the most powerful I've ever encountered. Its magic was unlike anything I have seen before."

"But then Howe and I showed up with the Orlesians and Warden reinforcements." Said Bryce.

"Indeed. If not for your arrival, I'm afraid we would have been lost. Your forces made up the flanking charge that Loghain's men were meant to perform. Without an Archdemon to guide them, the Darkspawn were not able to outmanoeuvre us."

"And the Emmisary?" asked Eleanor.

"No doubt it would have rallied its forces against us again. Had it not been for the sacrifices of two of the bravest individuals I have ever met…"

"I heard one was a mage." Said Nathaniel.

Duncan nodded. "Her name was Wynne – she had been brought to the battle with the Circle of Magi. Her healing magic saved the King's life at one time. And then she helped in the final charge – she took down an Ogre single handedly to make sure one of my recruits made it to the Emmisary…"

Duncan's eyes had turned misty. No one seemed to want to push him further. The more he told the more miserable he seemed to become. But Elaine felt herself compelled to ask, her heart in the back of her throat. "Who was he?"

"His name was Alistair." The Warden's voice was choked but he coughed to clear it. "He'd only been a Warden for six months, but he was loyal to the order and brave. He had been a Templar in training before I found him. He used his anti-magic abilities to disable the Emmisary. He killed the beast… but it killed him in the process…"

Bryce was staring at her. "Pup, are you alright?"

Elaine didn't realise there were tears slipping past her lashes until she was broken out of her spell. She touched one with a finger and looked at it, baffled. Her heart felt like it was being wrenched in two. An ache was consuming her entire body. She was grieving, but why would…

A tingle shifted through her mind. Elaine had once felt the effects of Magic when she had been a young teenager and broken her arm. This felt similar, a buzz that came over her, like getting pins and needles before quickly progressing into a fizz across her brain. But then it became something more. It was a pressure, building behind her eyes until she thought her brain was going to explode. She tried to shut her eyes and cradled her temple. Was it a migrane?

Images flashed behind her eyelids, some so fast one after the other that she struggled to comprehend them at first. She saw a strange metal construct soaring above the clouds. A man with hard eyes and glowing scars. A blue star surrounded by revolving rings. A female clothed in head to toe in purple, her face hidden behind a mask. An enormous dragon, corrupted and decomposing, half its body melded with metal. A monstrous looking creature with silver plates, sharp teeth concealed behind mandibles, and gentle sky-blue eyes.

Elaine shook her head and opened her eyes. Everyong was staring at her, ranging from perplexed to concerned. But Elaine found her eyes rooted to a stranger stood in the corner of the room who hadn't been there before. He was a head taller than her, his hair golden and spiked up at the front. His chin was shadowed with a goatee. On his back was a sword and shield, his armour proudly emblazoned with a griffin.

She had no idea who this man was, but his name was on her tongue as if it were instinctual.

Alistair.

* * *

Finalley, after days of scouring through the distant corners of the galaxy, following obscure clues connected by the tiniest thread and a grieving Ann Bryson, Shepard and the Normandy had finally managed to track down Leviathan. Taking Tali and Javik with him, Shepard was determined to drag the son-of-a-bitch up from whatever hole it was hiding in. This thing had made him go through all this effort to find it, and by god, he wasn't leaving empty handed!

However, the moment Cortez got within range of the ocean where their probe said Leviathan was hiding, a pulse, similar to an EMP knocked their shuttle out of the air. Cortez managed a decent crash landing on the floating debris of ancient structures – Shepard could no longer tell if they were the ruins of an ancient race or the corpses of star ships that had suffered the same fate as their shuttle. Looking around for anything that could help their current situation, Shepard and the others found old skeletons and equipment and makeshift camps. It felt like the ship-graveyard outside the Collector Homeworld. How many ships had came to this planet, maybe some as innocently as scouting new territory to colonise, when they'd been blasted and stranded? The commander shuddered to imagine being trapped here on floating scrap metal for the rest of his life.

But, they weren't alone for long. As desperate to find Leviathan as he was, the Reapers sent in their troops not far behind them. All too soon, Shepard, Tali and Javik were having to cover Cortez as he tried to assess the damage to the shuttle and try to rectify their situation.

As soon as it appeared they had a little breathing room, Shepard rounded on Cortez. "Status!"

"Shuttle's a mess, Commander," said the pilot. "That pulse knocked it right out of the air. We're not going anywhere."

"The Normandy could extract us." Said Javik.

"Same thing would happen to her – only the landing won't be as pretty. I'd say Leviathan has some sort of defence system in place."

Shepard's brows knotted together. "Then we aren't getting out of here until we find it. So how do we do that?"

Cortez gestured to a garage-like structure, a mech sitting in the dark – it looked fifty years old at least. "Well, you might be able to use a mech. Looks like it's rigged for diving."

"Go underwater?" Shepard blanched. "In that thing?"

"It can handle the depth. Not saying it'll be easy but… I don't see any other options here, Commander."

"Fine. Let's finish this."

Tali rounded on the both of them as they walkd past her, eyes bright and wide. "Wait a minute here. Are we seriously considering…?"

Cortez ignored her as he led Shepard towards the garage to unlock the mech. "First, we'll need to restore power."

"How?" Shepard asked.

Javik gave Tali a sideways look. "It appears we are…"

Shepard and Cortez set to work on trying to find anything laying around that could give their mech enough juice. After slightly pushing aside her misgiving, Tali helped them with her opinion as an engineer. Javik remained on watch for any more Reapers. Soon enough, Shepard was strapped into the mech and walking it out towards the edge. The thing was clanky and moved jerkily, neither of which filled the commander with confidence.

"Shepard, are you sure about this?" he heard Tali's quiet voice beside the mech and looked down. He hadn't even noticed she'd walked right up to him.

"We've come too far to stop now." He told her. "I want answers. Today."

Cortez came up on his other side, scanning through his omnitool. "Okay, everything checks out – systems are a go."

"Then let's do this."

One last time, Tali reached up to try and stop him. "Shepard, just…"

He gave a long look. "I'll be fine."

Turning away from both of them, he made sure all his seals were airtight. Satisfyied (as much as he could be with his heart suddenly dropping into his stomach and pounding), he braced for impact and launched the mech into the ocean.

* * *

Over the next several hours, Garrus and Liara watched over Elaine's sleeping form. Garrus' toes wouldn't stop tapping on the tiled floor. This little experiment of theirs had been one of the few avenues available. Whilst Elaine hadn't woken up yet, Garrus could start to see some improvements. Before, she used to lie motionlessly, as if dead. But now, he could see her eyes moving beneath her lids, her fingers often twitched around his hand. He hoped that was a good sign.

Liara kept her omnitool up and did a scan. "Her readings are starting to change. More conscious brain activity. It's too early to say that it's working but…"

It was still the best news he'd heard all week. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, bu he just felt giddy at that ever so slight change. "You are brilliant, Liara! Andraste's fringe, you're brilliant!"

"Who's Andraste?" she asked with a frown.

"I have no idea!" he crowed and turned back to Elaine, buring his face in her cheek to whisper excitedly in her ear. "Elaine? Sweetie? Can you hear me? You gotta fight it, Tough-Girl. Come on, come back to us!"

* * *

Elaine's head was still pounding by the following morning. Why wouldn't it just go away? She'd swallowed countless tonics in her attempt to be rid of it before resorting to other methods just to be able to sleep for a few hours. Now, she sat in front of her vanity, her mother brushing out her hair where she'd had to roll her out of bed this morning. Eleanor chit-chatted but Elaine tuned her mother out. Those images that had been seared into her brain wre becoming more and more prominent. As her mind had time to settle and ruminate over each one, they solidified in place, as if they were actual memori–

The ground shook, so violent, the glass in Elaine's mirror rattled. She looked around, alarmed. But the tremor passed in a matter of seconds. Behind her, her mother carried on her task without seeming to notice a thing wrong.

"That's another earthquake!" said Elaine. "Are we sure everything's alright?"

"It'll be fine, dear. The coast is taking quite the battering in the seasonal storms this year. We're probably feeling sections of cliff further down the beach fall away." Her mother said in such a reasonable tone, her words so logical, that Elaine almost didn't doubt them. In the mirror, she watched her mother's eyes grow a little apprehensive as she stroked her fingers through her daughter's fine pale gold locks. "You know, you worried us all last night when you ran off. Whatever was the matter?"

Elaine's eyes flickered to the corner of the room. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw the same man – the man she somehow knew to be called Alistair – still standing there, watching from the shadows. Her mother hadn't said a word about him, had even being looking straight in his direction a few times. But she gave no indication of noticing him. She certainly would've kicked up a fuss had she noticed a stranger (and a _man_ at that) in Elaine's room first thing in the morning. So that could only lead to the conclusion that it was only Elaine that could see him.

Great. She was haunted.

"Nothing, mother," she said eventually. "Merely a headache."

Eleanor pursed her lips. Reaching down she pulled out a drawer in the vanity. Elaine winced at the clink of glass as empty bottles rattled against each other. There were five in there. Her mother gave her a sharp glare. "A _headache_?"

"SSSomebody's been drinking…"

Elaine jolted in her seat as if she'd been electrocuted. The ghost had never spoken before! In the hours since she'd first seen him, he only watched her impassively. Now? Not only had he spoken, but he seemed to be containing a little grin. "Did you hear that?!"

"Hear what?" asked Eleanor. "Elaine?"

"N-nothing… must've been the wind."

Turning her around in her seat, Eleanor pressed the back of her hand to Elaine's forehead. "You are worrying me, Elaine. Are you sure you feel well?"

"I'm fine mother. Honestly." Elaine said tiredly, brushing her mother's hand aside. "I snuck some liquer from the cellar last night to try and help me get to sleep."

It was very clear her mother didn't buy the full story. But she seemed willing to let the matter drop for now. "Fine, then. On to other business. Talk! I want to know all the details! Has Nathaniel proposed? Have you set a date?"

The ghost in the corner snorted. "Now I know where _you_ get your persistent curiosity from."

"Well, not exactly, mother," said Elaine, trying to ignore the apparition. "But… we're not opposed to the idea…"

"That's as good as I think I'm going to get with you." Her teasing giggle faded, and Elaine was alarmed to see tears welling in her mother's eyes, her fingers tentatively stroking the young woman's cheek. "My darling girl, finally getting married. You have no idea how happy this makes me."

"Urgh, I'm just watching and this scene makes me uncomfortable. Aren't you going to tell her about your actual husband?"

Memories that weren't hers flashed before her eyes again. The creature with silver plates and sky-blue eyes. She remembered nights curled up beside him, long conversations talking to him, sparring with him… and a little ceremony in the belly of a metal ship. Her cheeks turned pink.

"Mother," she began slowly, "why do you want me to marry Nathaniel?"

"I want you to be happy, dear. That's all."

"So, if I were to marry someone who wasn't nobility – a soldier, of some sort – so long as I was happy, you wouldn't object?"

She hoped her mother didn't get the wrong idea. But now that she thought about it, she desperately wanted to have some clue to if her parents would approve of this marriage-that-never-happened. "Well, I would be a little concerned on how this man would think to provide for you. But… if it was truly what you wanted, then no, I wouldn't object."

"Even if he was the last person you'd expect…"

The ghost chuckled to himself. "Yes, try completely out of this world… literally."

"Elaine?" her mother again looked concerned. "Is there something I should know?"

"Mother…" she faultered. How to word this correctly without coming across as completely crazy? "Is it possible to have memories of someone you're not sure exists?"

"You know he exists. The same as you know I exist. I mean, you _can_ hear me over here, right?"

"I think…" her mother began, looking to the floor as she too searched for the right words. "I think that all this business with the Howes, and the Grey Wardens, and looking after Highever in your father's absence… it's all been a weight on your shoulders. You're unnecessarily stressed."

"I… I don't think–"

Her mother silenced her when she put both hands on her shoulders and smiled. "Elaine. If you don't want to marry Nathaniel, then don't. If you want to instead explore the world, seduce a bard, then you do that. You are my darling girl, and all I have ever wanted is for you to live a good and fulfilled life."

There was suddenly a lump in her throat. "But won't I disappoint you if I say no?"

"Darling, the only way you could disappoint me, is if you were to let me live your life for you. But promise me one thing? Don't make me out to be the crazy grandma to my grandchildren."

Soon after that, Eleanor left her daught to finish getting ready alone. But Elaine didn't move right away. She sat there, numb and her mind spinning. Those memories surfaced again, telling her that she had lived a different life to the one she now had. Panic had her hopping to her feet, frantically pacing.

"Come on, Elaine!" she hissed to herself. "Enough of this! You're stressed and over tired! You're hallucinating."

"If I'm your hallucination," said Alistair as he finally stepped out from his corner, "then can I say your imagination is very boring – I would've liked a dozen Antivan exotic dancers to accompany me right now. And a Qunari cockwrangler."

"A what?!"

He shrugged. "Dunno. Heard Zevran and Oghren talking about it once. Sounded interesting."

"And made up."

"And you haven't noticed that you're acknowledging I'm here." He grinned.

"Not that you'd leave me alone long enough for me to doubt it." The easy way with which they conversed seemed achingly familiar. And that evidence made her panic again. "But it can't be! This is my reality, see?" She slapped herself across the face with a loud, _WHACK!_ Pain flared like a fire brand across her cheek.

Alistair gave her a queer look. "Yeah… very compelling argument… self-harm."

She growled. "I refuse to believe this. I'm here. With my family. In Highever. THAT is what's real. It wasn' a real Blight–"

"It was."

"Howe assisted my father and they fought at Ostagar–"

"He didn't. They didn't."

"Please, Alistair, stop it!" she screeched. Her hands flew to her mouth the moment she realised she said his name. He stood in front of her now, giving her that knowing look she realised she knew so well. Her hands began to shake. "No. Nonononono. Those memories can't be real. It's too awful to be real."

"Hey…" He reached out to her – it was the first time he'd tried to touch her. His hand fell on her shoulder, warm and heavy and real. "It's alright, love. I'm here."

Without thinking, she flung herself into his arms. The memories of before and the memories of now crashed together in her brain, until she couldn't tell which one was the original and which one she was trying to deny. All she knew for certain, however, was that this man who held her in his arms was a friend she needed. "How? How can I see you?"

"I'm the part of your mind Leviathan can't touch." He whispered to her.

"So you _are_ a hallucination. You're not a ghost."

"I'd like to say I'm a hybrid of the two… You know I've always been watching, Elaine. Right? I'm always looking out for you. Being caught in this dream, I couldn't leave you here. It just took you awhile to wake up. Sorry I'm such a shitty prince charming."

She gave him a watery laugh. "The best shitty prince charming."

Alistair pulled back and stared into her eyes a moment. "You still don't believe this is a dream, do you?"

"I don't _want_ to believe it. My family is here: they're alive. Why should I leave it?"

"Because this is not real, love." He took her hands in his, squeezing them as if that would prove his point. "This is not real because here, you are not a hero who gave everything to save her country. Here, you are not a woman who is beloved by friends from all corners of the world. And here… you don't have a soulmate who loves you more than anything in this galaxy."

Something occurred to her from her _other_ -memories. "Alistair… did you love me?"

He froze, eyes wide and fearful as if he wanted the ground to swallow him up. But eventually, he sighed, defeated, and nodded. "With every fibre of my being."

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright. I know now there was someone out there waiting for you. Who needed you more than I."

Elaine glanced down at her left hand, her eyes scrutinising her third finger, her ring finger. It was bare, light, not even a tan line to say anything had been there at all. The last evidence she needed (if she did need anything else) was the feeling that arose in her stomach at the sight. Her hand felt empty, her finger felt incomplete without a wedding ring to sit in its rightful place.

* * *

Shepard walkd along the dark ocean floor. He was grateful his combat suit helped to regulate his temperature – otherwise he had no doubt he'd be freezing his balls off by now. The mech was slow through the water, and Shepard had to keep firing flares into the corals to provide some light. The bulb in the mech suit had burst on the way down here from the pressure. Needless to say, Shepard was a little bit unnerved by that.

"Not sure if anyone can read me up there…" he said into a comm that hadn't been working for the past half an hour. He didn't know whether it was the depth or some other interference, but he couldn't make contact with his team on the surface. He was on his own, and found himself talking to the ocean life around him just to hear something. "Looks like I've finished the major descent. Can't see much from here."

His reading told him the probe he was looking for was half a mile ahead and down. Sheprd glanced at his gages. His pressure sensor was already creeping into the red. He hoped the next drop wouldn't be that far.

"Shutting down all non-critical systems to preserve remaining power." He flipped switches to do just that. He only kept the engine, the air supply and the lights on. "Not sure how much juice the emergency thruster will need to get me back to the surface. Can't worry about that now."

He literally couldn't. If he did, he'd feel the thousands of tons of pressure above him and try to bolt.

Further in and down he went in near complete silence apart from his occasional report to the void. He came into underwater caverns so far from the surface that sunlight only just managed to penetrate the depths to show Shepard the entrance. Shepard soon found the probe. Up ahead there was a ledge. There was nowhere else to go but there. Yet as he stepped towards it, the mech shook as the water around him rumbled and shifted. Over the lip of the ledge, bubbles began to drift towards the ceiling.

It was only then that Shepard realised he'd walked into the dragon's lair. "What… is that?"

Something emerged from the depths. A shadow, a familiar silhouette that at first had Shepard panicking. But the outer shell was one of organic flesh, not metal. The eyes that looked upon him with beastly indifference were blue and spherical, not red and mechanical. It looked exactly like a Reaper, but an organic one.

 **"** **You have come too far."** Said a voice that boomed low and quiet and everywhere all at once.

"I had to find you." Shepard said through the Mech's speakers.

 **"** **This is not your domain. You have breached the darkness."**

Damn… that voice felt like it was creeping inside Shepard's skull. His brain was suddenly aching. "You killed a Reaper. I need to know why."

 **"** **They are the enemy. One that seeks our extermination."**

"But… I thought you were a Reaper."

 **"** **They are merely echoes. We existed long before."**

"Then what are you?"

A pause. One of Leviathan's six giant blue eyes blinked slowly at Shepard. **"Something more."**

A pressure built inside Shepard's skull. Everything around him warped and buzzed. It felt like someone had stuck an anchor to his brain and was pulling him under. Shepard fought it, he grit his teeth and fought it. But he couldn't fight a feeling. Leviathan sunk its claws into his mind and dragged him away into the cold and dark.

* * *

 **Author's Note: A lovely review thought that because I was late last week that I couldn't be on time this time. And I saw that gauntlet thrown down and was like "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!"**

 **Yes, as some have pointed out, this section was partially inspired by the JL Animated episode "For the Man Who Has Everything." So extra brownie points for you guys!**

 **As of next week I'm going on holiday! Woo-hoo! Though I'm off to Spain, I do still hope to try and upload, but if not, you'll have two/three chapters ready (naïve and foolish author says now...) So _adios_!**


	34. The Dream Ends

_"Your mind belongs to me. Breathe."_

 _Shepard gasped lungful after aching lungful. His throat was raw, his eyes bulged, his head pounding. It took several minutes of coughing and hacking before he could finally breathe without his blood racing through his ears. A deep cold shivered through Shepard's armour, but the dark all around him offered no indication as to what could cause it. He walked on a floor that wasn't there, existed in a world that didn't, breathed air where there was none. Confusion made the commander agitated – where was he?_

 _A woman came to him out of the darkness; round face, brown hair in a bob-cut. She was familiar… but how could she…? "Ann?" Shepard's voice echoed back to him in the nothingness. "Wait… what's happening?"_

 _"Your memories give voice to our words." Came a voice that certainly did not belong to Ann Bryson. It was deep and hard like granite. Ann's lips moved but Shepard heard the voice inside his head. It was Leviathan. "Your nature will be revealed to us. Accept this. Now, why have you come in search of us?"_

 _It only took Shepard a moment to cast aside his doubts about the who, the why, and the how the fuck; and instead launched into the mission. "The galaxy's at war with the Reapers. You killed one. Why aren't you fighting back?"_

 _"There is no war. There is only the Harvest."_

 _"_ _Then help us stop it."_

 _Ann Bryson's body paced around Shepard. He only lost sight of her for a second, and suddenly she wasn't there anymore. In her place was her father's assistant, Hadley, but the voice of Leviathan remained the same. "None have possessed the strength in past cycles. Your own species could be destroyed with a single thought." Shepard blinked, and suddenly it was Garneau before him. "But you are different. I have witnessed your actions in this cycle: the destruction of Sovereign; the fall of the Collectors. The Reapers perceive you as a threat." Ann Bryson's body returned, her head tilting at a bird-like angle to study him. "And I must understand why."_

 _Indignant anger coursed through Shepard. This thing wanted to toy with him? Examine him like some lab rat? How could it be so apathetic to everything – didn't it care at all about the Reapers? Another thought occurred to him, one that made him bristle instinctively._

 _"_ _So what?" he snapped testily. "You're gonna interrogate me to find out? Is that what you do to all your victims? Is that what your doing to Elaine?"_

 _Garneau's eyes narrowed slightly. "The tainted female you call 'Elaine' is serving her purpose."_

 _"_ _What purpose? You wanna understand me? Fine! But let me understand you too."_

 _Leviathan had its puppet walk away, and for a horrible moment, Shepard thought he was being dismissed. The darkness around him seemed to both close in on him yet seemed infinite simultaneously. Was he going to be left alone in this empty place forever? But then, suddenly, gravity pitched and he fell to the floor. When he tried to get up, he found Hadley sat beside him._

 _"Before the cycles, our kind was the apex of life in the galaxy. The lesser species were in our thrall, serving our needs. We grew more powerful and they were cared for. But we could not protect them from themselves. Over time, the species built machines that then destroyed them. Tribute does not flow from a dead race." Hadley cast Shepard a look, one that conveyed neither empathy nor pity of any kind. Instead, it looked… tired. He stood, and was suddenly Ann Bryson again. Shepard followed the body as it continued the tale. "To solve this problem, we created an intelligence with the mandate to preserve life at any cost. As the intelligence evolved, it studied the development of civilsations. Its understanding grew until it found a solution. In that instant, it betrayed us. It chose our kind as the first harvest. From our essence, the first Reaper was created. You call it… Harbinger."_

 _Shepard's eyes grew wide, an echo of a voice slithering through his mind. Harbinger was the first Reaper? The Leviathan were not rogue Reapers, but were their creators? His mind was bursting with threads of thoughts but he had to stay focused. The picture needed to be made cleaer to him. "So, one race builds a doomsday machine and suddenly you're trying to save everyone?"_

 _"A pattern had begun to emerge. A lesser species would build machines to aid them, to propel them further along their evolutionary paths. But in time, the machines rebelled against their creators and perceived all organic life as a threat. It was an eventuality: this pattern would have seen the destruction of all organic life, intelligent or otherwise, had we not intervened."_

 _"_ _You do realise that you fell into the same trap, right?" Shepard couldn't help the scathing remark. "You built a machine that then betrayed you. But why?"_

 _Beneath their feet, a vision of Shepard's galaxy map from the CIC appeared. Leviathan studied it intently._ _"You cannot conceive of a galaxy that bends to your will. Every creature, every nation, every planet we discovered became our tools. We were above the concern of lesser species. The intelligence was envisioned as simply another tool."_

 _"_ _And now we all pay the price for your mistake."_

 _"There was no mistake. It still serves its purpose."_

 _"_ _How did the intelligence defeat you?"_

 _"To find a solution, it required information – physical data drawn from organic life in the cosmos. It created an army of pawns that searched the galaxy, gathering this data. There was no warning. No reason given when they turned against us. Only slaughter. Only the Harvest." Garneau's body turned away, walking off as if weary of the memory._

 _Once again, Shepard was alone in the blackness. But instead of succumbing to the panic building in his chest at the thought of abandonment, he asked out to the void, "Surely it couldn't have defeated all you and your thralls. Didn't some of them survive?"_

 _There was silence, or rather, Shepard could somewhat tell there was a pause. As if the blackness itself was Leviathan, and he could sense it attempting to find the right words to say. When it did speak, when Ann reappeared beside him, her jaw was clenched, brows drawn down._ _"Not all of them. At the height of our power, there was one race that refused to bow to our will. The Lone Worlders. They went against the mandate of evolution. They did not seek the stars, and were content to stay within the cities of their minds. Their strategy fooled the Reapers into percievng them as primitive, and so they survived… for a time."_

 _"_ _What happened to them?"_

 _"They destroyed themselves. Now, only one remains."_

 _"_ _Like you? What happened to the rest of your kind? How did you end up here after so long?"_

 _"Our extermination was not complete. Some survived and found refuge in the dark corners of the galaxy. I am their progeny. Over the cycles, the thrall races were controlled, removing evidence of our existence as we directed them to. In this way, our survival was kept secret from the Reapers. Today, we reach out through the fragments and watch for discovery."_

 _The galaxy map vanished and in its place, Shepard was shown an orb, glowing with swirling blue and green light. A familiar sight by now. "The artefacts…"_

 _"They provide a window into the galaxy. Tools for exploring the events of this cycle from the safety of this world. Through them we watch, we study and remain in the shadows."_

 _"_ _But what's the point of the harvests?" Shepard pressed insistently. Surely there MUST be some point to all this? There had to be a logical reason._

 _"The intelligence has only one purpose: the preservation of life. That purpose has not yet been fulfilled. It directed the Reapers to build the Mass Relays – to speed the time between cycles for greatest efficiency. The galaxy itself became an experiment. Evolution its tool."_

 _"_ _Will it ever end?"_

 _Ann Bryson seemed to contemplate that for a moment, before shaking her head. "Unknown. Until the intelligence finds what it is looking for, the harvest will continue."_

 _"_ _What if I find the intelligence and shut it down? Can you tell me where it is? Will that stop the Reapers?"_

 _"The Reapers are not a hive mind." Said Leviathan dismissively, as if Shepard's new hope was of little interest. "They are each a nation. Each formed in Harbinger's image. Our image. The intelligence directs them but its destruction will not cause theirs. It was removed from our homeworld eons ago. It is unknown where the Reapers have hidden it."_

 _"Fine. Then tell me this: what do you now about the cruicible?"_

 _Garneau hesitated a little bit too tellingly before Leviathan answered. "We have watched its construction before. It has never been completed. Those who have tried still fell victim to the harvest. Its outcome is unknown."_

 _Of course it was obvious that the Crucible had never been completed. If it had, it would have been used to kill the Reapers long before now. But to here Leviathan say the words, that so many had tried but failed, it made Shepard's stomach sink with fear. Could they do this? How could they win when so many before them had lost?_

 _But those thoughts had to be pushed aside. If he fell down that rabbit hole, he'd crack and fall apart. And his team, his species, his galaxy, needed him. "Will you help us stop the cycle?"_

 _Ann Bryson tilted her head at him again, silent for several moments. But then she shook her head and said: "I have searched your mind. You are an anomaly – yet that is not enough. The cycle will continue."_

 _She went to walk away, and Shepard had the suspicion that this was the final time. He launched after her, his hand clamping on her arm and spinning her back to him. "No! You've been watching. You know this cycle is different."_

 _"It is." Agreed Leviathan, yet its voice was grave. "But not in the way you perceive. The introduction of the taint is slowly infecting them – you had best hope the Reapers do not surrender to it."_

 _Every warning Elaine had ever spoken to Shepard came crashing through his mind. "What are you saying…?"_

 _Leviathan didn't answer, instead looking Shepard up and down, assessing. "We will survive. You will remain here as a servant of our needs. The Reapers will harvest the rest. What happens after… remains to be seen."_

 _"If you release me no one has to be harvested." Argued Shepard quickly. "We can stop the taint!"_

 _"This is a matter beyond you. Nothing you can do will change the inevitable."_

 _"Bullshit!" Shepard burst. "You wanna know what I'm made of? Here it is. I refuse to lay down and let the Reapers win. I refuse to lose to them. So what if the odds are against us, we – all of us – are going to keep fighting. We will fight and we will find a way to stop them. No matter the cost."_

 _"Empty promises–"_

 _"Easy for you to say! When all you've done is sit on your ass and watch the galaxy burn over and over again. You're responsible for this! Every race that's ever been destroyed – it's because of you! And now the Reapers will destroy you too unless you start fighting! They know where you are. They're coming down on us as we speak. Even if you survive the battle today, the Reapers wont stop – ever. Release me, and we have a chance to end this once and for all."_

 _Leviathan studied him again, eyes narrowing. For a moment, Shepard wondered if he'd pissed it off. It didn't look tat way – but then, Leviathan hadn't expressed much of any emotion in this entire conversation._

 _"Your confidence is singular." It said at last._

 _"I've earned it. Out there fighting – where you should be."_

 _"It seems your victories are more than a product of chance." Leviathan's gaze seemed to grow distant, as if it was disconnecting all together, its focus somewhere else. Shepard was going to shake it, to return its attention, when suddenly, it snapped back to him, and there was suddenly a fire in its eyes, a cold anger that made even Shepard shiver. "We will fight. But not for you, or any lesser species. We were the apex race. We will survive. And the Reapers who trespass on this world will understand our power. They will become our slaves. Today, they pay their tribute in blood."_

* * *

Elaine paced back and forth across her room, rubbing her templed as she tried to understand everything that was going on. The memories inside her head were beginning to sort themselves out, but not fast enough. Yet she didn't want them to at all, a small part of her heart desperate to cling to this dream of a happy life with her family. Leaning against her vanity, Alistair watched. He'd been trying to offer occasional comments to 'help' but had eventually decided to hold his tongue until she specifically asked something.

Growling in frustration, Elaine turned on him. "What does Leviathan want?!"

"It's searching your soul." He said. "This fantasy is a way of keeping your mind occupied, complacent. That way, it can move behind your back uninterrupted."

"But why? What is it searching for?"

Alistair rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "That I… I don't know. At first, I thought it wanted to learn the nature of the Blight. To study you like an insect. But now… I'm not so certain."

Elaine was furious. She felt violated, belittled. "It wants to peer into my head? I think not! How do I break this spell? Is it like when we faced Sloth?"

"No, love." Alistair said sadly. Elaine didn't understand why. This was a temptation, just like they'd faced against countless demons before. As if he could read her mind, Alistair said gently: "There's no demon here for you to defeat. These visions of your family are not demons trying to deceive you. They are your memories and deepest wishes made real. "

Elaine's insides clenched. "But… but then…"

"The only way to be rid of this dream, is to let it go." She hurriedly backed away from him, shaking her head, but his sad eyes found her. "Yes, Elaine. You need to _choose_ to leave."

It should have been easy. To any sane person, it should be a quick choice and instant awakening. But how could Elaine choose anything when her heart was so torn in two? These weren't enemies for her to defeat, this was her family, as real as her memories could make them. That somehow made it feel like she was abandoning them all over again in order to leave. Her heart cried at the thought.

Her bedroom door burst open and in raced Oren, a huge grin split across his face. A few steps behind him came her father, who leant against the door, slightly out of breath. Neither appeared to notice Alistair standing right beside Elaine. In fact, it was as if he didn't exist to them at all.

Oren ran up to Elaine and pulled on her hand to lead her towards the door. "Aunty 'Laine! You got to come! The Warden is going to fight Gilmore!"

"Ah, Oren…" panted Bryce Cousland from the door. "You really must slow down. Your grandfather is not as sprightly as he once was."

"Tell her grandfather – tell her!" Oren bounced up and down excitedly. "Gilmore and the Warden are gonna fight! With swards and everything!"

"They're not really fighting, Oren. It's a sparring match. And I'd bet my coin your aunt here could show them both what's what." Her father chuckled merrily, until he noticed that Elaine hadn't said a thing to them. His smile vanished when he saw her face, his fingers reaching to tilt her face so that he might see her better. "Pup? Are you alright?"

Trying to take a breath to stifle the tears stinging behind her eyes, Elaine tried to extract herself from her father's touch. He felt too real, his concern tore her open. "I… It's nothing…"

"Aunty 'Laine?" Oren's voice was small now. He pulled on her hand to get her attention, lifting up a dirty handkerchief from his pocket for her. "Don't cry. 'member? You said soldiers mustn't cry."

Elaine tried to smile at his sweetness as she took the mud smeared cloth and pressed it to her heart tightly. "That's right, I did say that…"

"Pup," her father said, hands on her shoulders to steady her, eyes searching hers, "tell me true; is everything alright? I know my girl, and she doesn't cry for just anything. You're not so grown up that you can't tell your old man?" He tried to tease, tried to make her smile. But all it did was make a tear finally slip past her lashes. Bryce's eyes widened. "Elaine? Darling, please tell me."

"I…" she choked, the words not wanting to come out. "I think I have to leave."

"What?" Oren cried out in alarm. "No! You can't! You need to take me horse riding! And teach me how to use a sward. You promised – you promised!"

She hurriedly gathered him into her arms, holding him tight and shielding him from the sight of her tears. And to shield herself from the sight of his. Her heart was breaking, and it took all her willpower to make her voice not sound as if she were on the brink of sobbing. "I know I did. And I don't want to go – believe me, little Oren, I don't! But this is just a dream…"

"Aunty 'Laine, you're scaring me…"

"Elaine?" gentle hands pulled her away from the child.

"Father!" she launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and hiding her face, as if he could protect her from the reality of this situation, just as he had protected her from monsters hiding beneath her bed when she was five. Her sobs came freely now, she bawled into her father's shoulder. "I don't want to… please, don't let me go!"

"It's alright, Pup. I've got you. Daddy's always got you." Bryce promised, even if she could hear the confused tears in his own voice.

"I love you." She whispered fiercely. "I love you, and mother and Fergus and you, Oren!" she pulled the crying boy into their embrace and the three of them held each other close. "I love all of you so much! I'm sorry, I'm so, so, so sorry."

"We love you too, Elaine. We'll always love you. No matter what happens."

The fact that they weren't trying to convince her to stay, that they were just accepting her in this moment, it was the final proof that these were not demons. They were as real as could be. And for a brief moment, Elaine truly contemplated surrendering to the dream, to allow it to carry her away for the rest of her life. But then she saw Alistair over her father's shoulder, his shoulders slumped, his eyes grieving on her behalf. He held out his hand and waited for her. Elaine bit her lip until she tasted blood, determined to not scream, even as the tears streamed down her face.

"I promise… I'll never forget…" she whispered to her loved ones. And then, with a dead breath, she murmured: "This… is not real. I let the dream go."

The ground beneath their feet trembled in what should have been a castle-shattering earthquake. Elaine's father and nephew were ripped out of her arms by the blast. She instinctively reached for them, to pull them in with her, but a pair of strong arms surrounded her, and held her close. Alistair held on to her, her anchor as she was forced to watch what unfolded.

Her castle, her childhood home, was suddenly on fire. The door to her room burst open and in ran Arl Howe, several soldiers behind him. Bryce Cousland was still watching Elaine, unaware of the enemy at his back until a knife was plunged into his side. He cried out and Elaine screamed. Howe grinned maliciously as he did it again and again until finally her father fell. Another soldier came into the room and grabbed hold of Oren. Elaine struggled in Alistair's arms but was unable to stop it as the assassin ran his blade across the boy's throat and slung him to the floor.

Elaine screamed and cursed and wept, and finally collapsed into Alistair's chest, sobbing in his arms. He held her throughout as the flames died down and they were suddenly in an empty void of darkness. There was nothing in this world except them, not even a floor for them to stand on. Finally, Elaine's memories fitted into place, and she knew and remembered everything. And for the insult of it all, she felt her rage burning so bright she wanted to burn this world of nothingness until even she died in it. But she refrained – for now – and clung to Alistair.

"I've got you, Elaine." He whispered to her. But they both knew it was time for her to go. They could feel the eyes of the master of this realm coming down upon them. Slowly, reluctantly, Elaine left Alistair's grasp, to stand on her own. "Never look back. And when the time comes, I and all the others will be there by your side."

"I know." She said. "Stay with me? Just until he comes. Please."

"Always."

A man appeared out of the nothingness. Hadley, from the lab. Elaine didn't bother to question this choice of body. Her anger was to hot in her blood. "How dare you." She spat. "Do you have any idea what you did to me?!"

"We provided a fantasy that would most likely make you pliable to our ministrations." It said in that thunderous voice that echoed inside her head. Her fury built higher. It did not even have the shame to realise the atrocity it had committed!

She ran at it, her fist swinging to punch its nose and break it along with all its cheekbones. But her hands swiped through empty air. She stumbled on the momentum and fell to her knees. "What do you want from me?!"

"The chance to speak."

"You have the gall to want to talk to me after what you've done?!"

"Not to you."

In the silence that came after that statement, Elaine was made aware of the world somehow shifting without moving. It was as if the very centre of her reality changed. She had the feeling that something was behind her, could feel the breath of it looming over her shoulder. Yet her feet were frozen, her body turned to ice and unable to move. Her mouth went dry, her heart began to pound. The urge to turn, to look upon the face of this something that seemed to eclipse the entire universe with its presence, was overwhelming. But even as hardened a warrior as she, even when her curiosity demanded she look, she was too frightened on a primitive level to dare look.

"The disease had spead," said Leviathan. "I cannot be tolerated."

The thing behind her did not speak, but Elaine got the impression it was unimpressed. Did the air seem colder somehow?

"We have been summoned to fight the Reapers," Leviathan continued as if the presence had answered it, as if the two of them were carrying out a conversation. "Your time is coming."

There was nothing but silence. And then, a sound. Elaine's bones trembled and her insides threatened to burst. It was a voice both terrible and wonderful. The words spoken in a slow rumble like the grating of rocks over the course of endless time. **_"When all is done as needed."_**

Elaine felt her head pounding from the sound of the voice. Her blood didn't know whether it wanted to roar to life or shrivel back in fear. She felt physically weak from the exertion of merely dealing with the emotional turmoil that came with being in this _something's_ presence.

She felt its gaze shift toward her, as if drawn by her ordeal. Her skin felt like it physically burned to have those eyes on her. And then that voice came again. **_"Enough, tyrant. Begone from what is mine."_**

And just like that, like someone had snapped their fingers, she felt Leviathan's hold vanish from her mind. Already she could feel the dream slipping away as her mind slowly arose from the ocean depths to the waking shores. But even as everything around her slipped away, and the creature that had come for her with it, she felt the curiosity well up within her again.

"Who are you?" she heard herself blurt in a small, mousy voice.

 ** _"_** ** _Your salvation and your destruction."_** Came the apathetic words. **_"Come to me, daughter of the taint. Follow the music… and open the door."_**

* * *

Elaine jolted awake in a bed, clawing her way upwards, mouth wide to suck in as much air as she could. She felt as if she'd been trapped underwater until she almost passed out! Shivers worked through her body – she was so Maker-damned cold! The lights were too bright above her, they pierced her eyeballs and made her brain ache.

Hands clasped around her, and she struggled. For a fraction, she was a wild creature, confused and lost. Her surroundings – as they slowly began to take shape in her blurred vision – were unfamiliar, and in her uncertainty she lashed out. Was she back in the dream? Did Leviathan have her again? No! That couldn't be!

"Elaine? Elaine!"

A silver face came in front of hers. Sky-blue eyes captured her attention. His voice, gravelly though it might be, was soothing to her ears. It took her a moment to recognise the silver plates, the blue tattoos. Garrus – her Garrus. Looking around the room, she finally began to realise she was in a hospital, the machines beeping on either side of her. Behind Garrus was Liara, eyes wide with surprise and concern. Only then did it sink in. She was home!

And all she had to do was lose everything all over again.

She threw herself into Garrus' arms, both relieved and disturbed to see him again. He eagerly welcomed her and held her close. Behind him, she heard Liara crow with giddy relief: "Oh thank the goddess! Wait, Shepard! I have to tell Shepard!"

Elane waited until she heard Liara's running footsteps disappear down the hall, until the door finally closed and it was just her and Garrus alone together. Then she let the tears fall. She wept quietly into Garrus' neck.

And of course, he noticed. "Hey tough girl, you okay?" he asked gently.

Words wouldn't form for several minutes. She didn't want to tell him – it felt too personal. But at the same time, she couldn't keep this to herself. She was afraid that if she did, it would eat her alive. "Leviathan gave me a dream, Garrus." She said. "I was with my family – we were happy! And to come back to you… I had to let them go. I had to leave, and it was so horrible!"

She tried to explain more. To make him understand, but all the rest was unintelligible. Garrus merely held her through it all, his subharmonics instinctively clicking a soothing sound in an attempt to calm her. Once again, he was stabbed with the truth of what this woman meant to him. And whilst he was relieved beyond measure to have her back… he couldn't help but feel the guilt start to eat at him. He didn't know why, but he just felt responsible, that Elaine had had to choose him over her family… and he wasn't sure she was entirely happy with her choice…

* * *

 **Author's Note: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey everyone!**

 **Okay, I am so so so so soooooooooooo sorry this is super late! Holiday/Vacation was really busy for me with no WIFI, and when I got back, I misplaced my glasses so that meant no computer time for me. But I'm back, everything is fine, and I hope to catch up with where I SHOULD be in the schedule over the next coming weeks. I want to upload chapters as quickly as possible to make up for lost time, but when all else fails, note that I will still be posting on Mondays, no matter what!**

 **Hope you are all doing well my lovely readers and pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease don't forget to leave me a review! It really helps to let me know what you're enjoying and helping me improve!**


	35. The Queen's Favour

A week passed by on the Citadel whilst Garrus and the others waited for Shepard to report in after finding Leviathan. The story he told was… astounding. It changed everything everyone thought they knew about the Reapers – even history itself! The Reapers had a beginning now, and that made it a possibility that they could have an end as well. Garrus had hoped that with Leviathan now involved with the war (in some mysterious and creepy way), he might be able to grill it for weaknesses in Reaper design. If they could find just one chink in the armour, then this war would be won!

But alas, no such luck. The Leviathan didn't design the Reapers. It only knew how to fight them mind-to-mind. And Garrus had no super-cannons that specialised in telepathy.

What's more, upon Shepard's return, he announced that there was already another mission waiting for them. And this time Garrus _needed_ to be there. And the Turian was inclined to agree. This was a mission he needed to be involved in; his expertise would be invaluable. And what's more, with Elaine back on her feet, he had no excuse to stay behind. Not to mention the fact that so long sitting helpless at her bedside made his talons itch for the trigger of his sniper rifle, to feel like he was actively doing something to help in any way.

He lingered in the doorway to his and Elaine's quarters. His wife was stood at the window, looking out across the sprawling spacestation, watching ships come and go. She was quiet – she'd been doing that a lot lately, since awakening from Leviathan's dream. Lost in thoughts, she said. Garrus could only hope that she wasn't slipping away from him again and into depression. Over the past week, she had explained to him what had happened in the dream. Though he couldn't make much sense of it, the thought of her reliving her family trauma made him ache with sympathy.

"Hey." He announced himself gently as he came slowly into the room. Damnit, he didn't want to treat her like glass, but he felt like to do otherwise was insensitive. "You okay?"

She sighed. Whether from her thoughts or because she was sick of hearing him ask that question, he was unsure. "As much as I can be." She turned to watch him approach, accepting his nearness naturally. "Shepard is calling you away."

Damn. Nothing escaped her notice. "Yeah. Aria has called in a favour with Shepard. Cerberus have control of Omega, and through that, they can operate throughout the terminus systems unchallenged. If we help her kick Cerberus out, she promises to give us mercs, ships, EEZO…"

"You don't sound convinced." Elaine eyed him carefully.

"I trust Aria to do what's best for Aria. She's as much a merc as any of those gangs I fought on Omega. She's just the most successful. Which means she's the worst there is."

"Then why go?"

"I know that station like the back of my hand. I know every secret way through it, every escape route, every bunker. Made myself memorise it in case me or… or my team… if any of us needed to get away." He thought he'd buried his fallen comrades, had mourned them and moved on. But suddenly it dawned on him that he'd be going back to Omega, back to where he failed them…

Warmth encompassed his hand. Elaine held him close to her breast. "Are you certain this is what you wish?"

He didn't hesitate to press his forehead to hers. "Yeah."

With their faces so close together, their eyes easily locked. She gazed up at him, sincere and warm… yet there was something in there, some thought flittering through her brain that was causing some kind of… hesitancy? But why? Garrus wanted to reach out to her, ask her what the matter was. The past week it had been like this, a moment where they might connect, but something held her back. It was why Garrus had asked Shepard Elaine not come (and Shepard had not objected in the slightest, weirdly). Physically, she was ready to fight, but he feared that emotionally… she still needed time.

It was a betrayal to her and he knew it. It made him feel rotten to the core. But he wasn't going to risk her. He knew she would understand that when they finally got round to talking about… _whatever it was_ that was bothering her. And besides, if she really wanted to come, wouldn't she be asking to? In fact, why was she taking this so easily? Why wasn't she arguing with him, demanding to come along?

Elaine was the first to pull away. "Be safe."

He nodded, squeezed her fingers that still held his hand. "Stay here. Tali'll be here too and… we'll talk when I get back. Okay?"

He stayed a little while longer, until Shepard called him down to the shuttle. He told his wife goodbye, but once again felt rotten for leaving her behind.

* * *

 _"_ _We're outshipped four to one, and most of our vessels are transports with limited firepower."_ Said the voice of an Asari on a QEC in the centre of the CIC on Aria's ship. Shepard came in first, Garrus and Liara in their best armour right behind him. People gave them odd looks, but the commander ignored them. These people were lucky he decided to leave behind his beloved ship and the rest of his crew.

"We're not here to win a spacebattle, Jarral," said Aria to the transmission. "We just have to punch through their line…"

Aria's voice trailed off as she caught sight of Shepard and his team. She quickly cut the transmission, expression turning hard, eyes glinting dangerously. Her usual rolling lazy stroll looked a little disjointed as she sped up to reach Shepard. Only when she stopped nose to nose with him did Shepard realise she was about the same height as him.

"Shepard…" Aria growled out in a low voice. "I thought I told you to come alone."

The commander shrugged nonchalantly, noting the mounting fury the gesture caused Aria. "Not gonna happen. Leaving behind the Normandy? Most of my crew? My resources? Maybe I can live with that. But I'm also not stupid. Garrus here knows Omega upside down, and he's a tactical genius. And you said you had no info on Omega or Petrovsky? Good thing Liara's got some informants that keep her better stocked."

"They're too high profile. Easily recognisable."

"And I'm not?" Shepard scoffed. "It's simple Aria. Either we all go, or none of us do."

The former queen of Omega glared between the three of them. Behind her, her mercs and soldiers slowly stood, reaching for the pistols as they sensed their mistress's ire. Garrus, Shepard and Liara remained relaxed and unflinching. But they were still ready to attack in less than a heartbeat should the need arise.

Fortunately, it didn't come to that. Aria's lip curled and she spun on her heel with a hissed: " _Fine._ "

"Well," drawled Garrus quietly, "that went well."

"We'd do well not to antagonise her too much," replied Liara.

"Noted." Shepard wasn't shy about strolling right up to Aria at her holographic interface. Never one for 'breaking the ice', Shepard decided to get right to the point. "Let me guess. You're planning on infiltrating the enemy fleet.

"Exactly." Said Liara as she drew up the battle plans. She seemed to completely ignore Garrus and Liara's presence entirely. "We position ourselves to strike a crippling blow, then my forces join the fun."

"Join the fun?" Garrus echoed. "You're gambling a lot on your own ego."

Liara elbowed him with a stern look.

Aria levelled Garrus a murderous glare. "The assault has been planned for weeks. I'm afraid your ' _tactical brilliance'_ came a little too late little Turian."

"Easy everyone," said Shepard. "Let's just try to get along for a little while."

Aria managed to completely ignore them once again as the cruiser went through the relay solo, the rest of the fleet commanded to stay back until ordered through. Omega wasn't like how Shepard remembered it. Much like the Citadel, it had ships pouring in and out of it. Now, there was nothing except the stillness of an entire Cerberus fleet just sitting and waiting like sentinels around the station.

"Head for the Command Ship." Ordered Aria.

As the batarian pilot took them in nice and slow, thrusters imitating the interrupted rhythm of damage taken, a voice came through their comms. _"Cruiser, I don't have you on the flight plan. Identify yourself."_

Aria nodded and the batarian pressed a button. A human male voice stoically, if weakly, said: "This is Captain Lentz. Run voice recognition: alpha, tango, zed. We took damage, seeking repairs."

A pause. Shepard's jaw clenched. And then: _"Identity confirmed, Captain. Hold for approach authorisation."_

"How'd you get the Captain to say that?" asked Shepard.

Aria smirked triumphantly in Garrus' direction. "The hard way."

They maintained the façade as they slipped past the front rows of enemy ships. Slow and steady, they crept on, and Shepard felt the pressure escalate. Aria released it when she ordered her team to open fire, letting loose the cruiser's full might. Taking the enemy by surprise, she further capitalised on the advantage when she hailed in her fleet to bombarde Cerberus. With their fleet fully distracted by the sudden assault, Aria's cruiser was free to head straight for the station.

"We're being hailed by the general." Said the batarian pilot.

"Should be interesting." Aria murmured. "Put him through."

She and Shepard turned as the QEC showed them Petrovsky. He was a tall and broad man, his dark hair thinning and turning silver at his temples. A goatee covered his chin and his the hard line of his mouth. Every movement and expression was tightly controlled; nothing to betray him. _"Aria. I knew this had to be you. You'll never make it. Call it off, now."_

"You're barking up the wrong tree, general." Aria was practically grinning as she gestured to Shepard at her side. "But maybe you can convince my partner."

Petrovsky's thick brows twitched. "Commander Shepard? I've heard great things about you."

"I doubt the Illusive Man thinks of me that highly," said Shepard.

"I do my own research, Commander." Corrected the general, as if disappointed a student had given the wrong answer in an exam. "A pity you left Cerberus. We all sabotage ourselves in nefarious ways. Perhaps deep down, you fear success. And Aria clearly thinks seeing you will unsettle me. Now it's my turn." His gaze returned to the asari, his eyes unreadable. "I see you've gone to the trouble of augmenting that ship with Silaris armouring. An exorbitant waste. I've made improvements to Omega's outer defences. My cannons will cut through you at will."

"Sounds pretty confident…" whispered Garrus at the back of the room.

"Petrovsky is a man who does not believe in bravado." Replied Liara.

Aria must've heard them as well, but decided to smirk anyway. "Let's see what you've got, Oleg. End transmission." The image of Petrovsky cut, and Aria's smile vanished. "That went well. Set preset course – we're ramming the station. Everyone, brace for impact."

"What?!" Shepard, Liara and Garrus all exclaimed simultaneously.

"Omega's kennetic barriers will stop my ships from landing. I equipped this cruiser with disrupters to take it out on impact. Don't worry, we'll probably survive the crash."

The ship rocked as cannon fire from the station barely missed them. Another shot cut through one of their thrusters. Alarms started to blare. The lower hull was breached by another hit. Shepard rounded on his new partner. "Aria, don't be stupid! Sound the evac!"

She hesitated a second too long, listening to the alarms, seeing how real Petrovsky's threat had been. She snarled. "Damnit. Everyone, to the escape pods! Set them on course for the station."

They all ran from the CIC. Shepard watched fires erupt in the hallways. Explosions rocked the ship and sent running crewmen flying. His heartbeat began to race, flashes of the SR1 crash haunting him. It took everything in Shepard to keep moving. Liara flagged a little as she nearly stumbled into falling debris. Shepard snatched hold of her hand and half dragged her along behind him. Aria was the first to reach the escape pod, then Garrus, then Shepard threw in Liara before following. They all buckled in, and Aria hit the release.

"Guess that asshole really did upgrade the outer defences," she muttered.

"You think?" snapped Garrus.

The pod rocked as it passed through debris. This was the part Shepard hated most. Escape pods were meant to be almost indestructible, but t was all too common for them to be shot out of the sky or completely miss their target. He hated being so out of control. But with an impact that not even the dampeners could fully absorb, he knew they'd made it onto Omega.

Now came the fun part.

* * *

Elaine, Tali and Grunt slowly strolled through the Citadel, passing through the many pristine gardens and shining streets of the Presidium. The Warden would much rather be on the wards. The more time passed, the more she was beginning to find the Presidium distasteful. C-SEC officers gave them a wide birth, whether because they knew who the group was, or the hulking Krogan behind Elaine was too much for them to deal with.

Grunt grumbled. "What do ya think the Council want with us, anyway?"

"Perhaps they found the Archdemon?" suggested Tali with a shrug. The Quarian had volunteered to accompany Elaine and Grunt. After this meeting, they'd all agreed to head to the holding bay on the docks, to help the refugees. Grunt was less enthusiastic, but had perked up a bit when Elaine had told him there'd been mercs and thieves stealing and harassing the cripples and homeless down on the docks. She'd promised he could do with them what he liked if they encountered them.

It was all they could do whilst they waited for Shepard to get back. Elaine wondered where they were in the galaxy, and briefly sent a prayer to the Maker that he watch over them.

"Liara would've told us if that were so." Said Elaine. "Tis Order business. And so we must answer the call."

Tali eyed Elaine up and down. The Warden did her best to ignore it, as she had since they'd left the Normandy. "Are you sure you're up to this, Elaine? I mean… after everything…"

Frustration made it harder to swallow each time everyone looked at her like she was going to break. "I'm not an invalid, Tali."

"I didn't mean–" Tali deflated as she realised her mistake. Her fingers fiddled nervously over each other. "But Shepard was in a bad way after just an hour. I can't imagine what it must've been like for you after _days_ …"

Elaine was proud of herself when she didn't even pause midstep. Perhaps the others were right to be concerned. The image of her parents, her family, watching them die again; it made her grief seem fresher, somehow. For a moment, she'd had the idea of being normal, of what life might've been like if… But there was no point thinking like that. It had been a dream – a beautiful one, admittedly. But it wasn't real. She would never forget, as she had promised. And somehow, those last few moments to say goodbye… it made the grief easier to put to rest this time.

No, it wasn't the trauma of losing her family once again that made her so disquiet. It was the unsettling truth the dream had told to her. It wasn't until she'd been faced with the possibility, that Elaine knew just how much she wanted children. Yes, she'd mourned the loss of losing that ability once she'd realised she was infertile, but talking about it with Nathaniel… she now knew just how much she wanted that. A dozen children, all with her eyes…

That was why she pulled away from Garrus when he looked at her with such adoration. It felt like a betrayal to him, to want the one thing he could never give her. It would hurt him if he knew that she laid awake at night fantasising about the daughters and sons she would spoil and teach and adore. It wasn't fair to hold this over him, because Elaine knew this life of motherhood she now knew she wanted would never be. She knew for a fact that she wouldn't survive this war to even adopt, or any of the other dozens of ways to grow a family.

When Garrus returned and they talked… Elaine didn't know what she would say to him. But she had the time between now and then to reconcile this melancholy on her own.

"We should be out in the field." Said Grunt impatiently, smashing his fists together. "I need to crush something."

"We will, Grunt," said Elaine, distantly, patting his shoulder. "You'll get your chance."

So distracted was she in her thoughts, she didn't notice when Grunt paused and fell back. He looked behind them, eyes scanning the busy street. Grunt could've sworn he felt a slight tingle, a little thrum that told him to turn around. But he could find nothing out of place. Just a restaurant window open, the smelling of spicy noodles drifting to his nostrils.

After a moment, the krogan warden dismissed it. He was probably just hungry and the noodles smelt good. With a shrug he walked on after his Warden-Commander, not at all looking forward to the meeting to come. It was probably going to be boring and completely uninteresting. Just like the rest of his day…


	36. The Old Flame

**Author's Note: I'm sorry this is late. I have no excuse, except to say that addictive videogames are the bane to my creative process!**

 **Please except this chapter as a way of apology!**

 **For the next couple of chapters, the song** **"Broken Crown" by Mumford and Sons is the theme.**

 **Don't forget to review!**

* * *

After crash landing and finding themselves stranded on Omega, they were quick to realise the urgency of their situation. Aria's forces were taking heavy losses, they had no base of operations on the station, and Cerberus had much bigger teeth than they'd anticipated. Garrus struggled to hold in his 'I-told-you-so' smirk. Shepard was inclined to agree.

They had to take down the station's defences so that Aria's fleet could land, but they were scattered. Aria said she had a bunker that was virtually inpenetrable and could let them access most of the station. At least it would serve as a command centre. Liara already had a map of the station for them to get there. Garrus pointed out quickly that General Petrovsky likely already knew of their plan – there were cameras all over the station that he'd seen so far. Aria surmised that the best route, in that case, was to take a route of secret tunnels only she knew of.

It wasn't ideal, and as they traversed the tunnels, Shepard began t have that creeping suspicion down his spine that he was being watched. At one point the tunnel forked, and Garrus volunteered to check it out to be sure no one was hiding in wait to catch them in the back. Shepard studied the shadows of the tunnels, not liking how he felt like a trapped rat.

A shadow shifted, the whisper of a footstep. Shepard, Liara and Aria all had their weapons drawn simultaneously. Seems Garrus wasn't so paranoid after all.

"Who's there?" Aria called. "Show yourself!"

The shadow moved from behind the crates where it had hid, and into the light. By the two-taloned feet, the spurs on the legs and the general lean and muscular body structure, Shepard knew it to be a turian. A female, as the turian wore a hood to cover its face in shadow – an act that could not be possible if it had been male with a fringe. The only part of her that Shepard could see, was the white plates of her chin, a single red stripe for a tattoo.

From what Shepard could see of her mandibles, they were quirked in a slightly-amused smile. "Spirits, look who's back: Aria T'oak."

Aria lowered her gun, seeming to recognise the turian by her smooth voice alone. "Nyreen. What the hell are you doing here?"

"Playing cat and mouse, mostly." Nyreen shrugged. "Just trying to stay alive. If it wasn't for these tunnels…"

" _My_ tunnels." Aria corrected testily. "I'm sure glad I showed them to you."

"If you hadn't, I'd be dead or locked up by now."

Shepard looked between the two of them, trying to guess at how they knew each other. Once friends? Unlikely. Aria didn't have friends. He threw the asari crime-queen a hard stare. "Looks like you pass out your secrets to anybody."

"You're mistaken, Commander." Nyreen surprised him by seeming to not only recognise who he was, but address him formerly. And was it his imagination, or did her back straighten a fraction when talking to him? "Aria keeps secrets better than anyone I know."

"Okay Shepard," called Garrus as he jogged up to join them, "the fork's clear. We can–" he trailed off as he caught sight of the other turian with them, his eyes narrowing.

"Well." Nyreen seemed just as surprised to see him. "This day just keeps getting better and better."

Garrus was jolted by her voice. "N-Nyreen? What the hell are you doing out here?"

"And where else should I be?" unlike when she spoke to Shepard with respect, now she was purposefully being confrontational.

Aria's scowl was growing as she looked between them. "I take it you two have a history? Something you'd like to share with the class?"

"Shepard," said Garrus, "this is Nyreen Kandros. She and I both served in the turian military. But she left a few–"

"Didn't have much of a choice, Vakarian. They were going to put me in a cabal!"

Liara leaned in to Shepard to explain quietly: "Turians are rather… odd, when it comes to their attitudes to biotics. When they manifest–"

"We're dumped into special units and segregated." Nyreen muttered bitterly.

"I understand why you left, Nyreen." Garrus attempted to be sympathetic. "But did you have to come all the way out here? To this spirits-forsaken place?"

The turian female narrowed her eyes. "I seem to remember you also wound up here… Before going on a killing spree."

Garrus' mandibles twitched with growing ire. "Mercs and criminals."

"That makes it sooooo much better."

"Always so argumentative." He growled.

"You didn't seem to mind it back in the day."

A little bell went off in the back of Shepard's head. He looked between the two of them. Nyreen was open and confrontational. But Garrus, whilst also getting angry, was closed off as if he wanted no part of her touching him. Only people who had slept together had that kind of body-language, in Shepard's opinion. "Wait… is Nyreen…?"

"Yeah." Mumbled Garrus.

Shepard felt like laughing at how small the galaxy felt right now. Wow! The famous 'reach-and-flexibility' girl was Nyreen Kandros. This was going to be interesting. And then another occurred to him. Better not let Elaine hear about this…

"If you two are done squabbling…" Aria strutted between the two turians, her eyes always on Nyreen. "Are you coming? We're heading to my bunker. We'll get you to safety."

Not much was said, and Garrus and Nyreen stayed clear of each other. As all five of them ran through the tunnels, Shepard took point. From behind him, he could hear Aria try to have a hushed conversation with their new turian companion.

"Nyreen, you left Omega fairly angry with me. I wasn't aware that you'd returned. Explain yourself."

"The truth is I never left," said Nyreen. "A fact I went to great lengths to keep from you."

"I'm not easily duped. Well done. But why?"

A pause. "I just… couldn't leave. Considering all this, I wish I had."

"Well, you always said I'd be the death of you."

"Nyreen has military training," piped up Liara. "We could put her to good use."

Aria huffed. "Nyreen never approved of… what was it you called it? 'Omega's moral brankrupcy'. Are you willing to defend it now?"

"You'll find me very willing to liberate this station." Shepard could hear the rueful smile in her voice.

* * *

The Council chamber was deserted aside from the six of them. The Council stared down at Elaine from their high podiums. Behind her, she could feel Grunt bristling as the oppressive silence held on. Tali was at the back of the room, observing and supportive in her own silent way. Elaine waited patiently for them to get to the point. Unfortunately, that didn't seem likely, as the Councillors went from looking at her, to whispering amongst each other. The eerie silence of the chamber was slightly unnerving. The gigantic ceiling and circular formation allowed sound to carry easily, and with no other living souls in sight, it made every shuffle or step echo dreadfully.

Elaine cleared her throat, ignoring the way the Turian Councillor looked at her sharply. "You summoned me, Councillors?"

They all turned to fully face her. As always, the Asari Councillor started the proceedings. "First Warden Cousland, thank you for coming. Though I hear it is Warden Vakarian now? Congratulations."

"Grey Warden," said Valern. "We summoned you because an urgent matter came up that you have led us to believe you would be well informed on."

"We thought we ordered you to give us all information you had on the Darkspawn." Councillor Sparatus said in an almost accusing tone.

Elaine frowned. "With all due respect, Councillor, this council does not _order_ me to do anything. The Grey Wardens are above politics and belong to no singular party." After a moment to reconsider the wisdom in antagonising them, she added: "And furthermore, I did give you all the knowledge I have on the Darkspawn."

"Then do you care to explain…" Tevos pressed a button on her podium, "this?"

In the space between their two platforms, a hologram appeared. At first, Elaine didn't recognise what she was supposed to be looking at. Then, she recognised one of the images. It was one of the Asari broodmothers. And then the other images began to make sense. All vaguely humanoid, with eyes and mouths in the right places. They each had skin that looked decayed and corrupted, spikes jutting from shoulders and between armour plates. The moment Elaine realised what they were, she gasped in horror.

They were Darkspawn versions of the council races.

"Maker's breath…"

"It seems the Darkspawn have done what you suggested," Valern sighed in sympathy for her revulsion. "They're breeding."

"Those who made first contact with these monsters," said Tevos, "have already given them designations. Our spies and other operatives have managed to observe these creatures' behaviour in the field."

"This one," Sparatus pressed a button and one of the images magnified, "is called a _Toothlock._ I'm sure you can imagine why."

Indeed. The Toothlock looked a monstrous amalgamation of a turian and a dragon. Its back was hunched, its centre of gravity and body structure more like that of a bird. The talons were exaggerated, spikes protruding from the wrists all the way up to the elbows. Most of the plates usually adorning turians seemed thicker, more ridged and acting like armour. The mandibles were completely gone, and the teeth inside the jaw were three times as long as normal, cutting into its own mouth to drip foul blood over itself.

"They are descended from my people, turians. Toothlocks, as we've observed, form packs that mostly stay separated from the rest of the horde. They slaughter prey with overwhelming force and precision strikes. We're told their teeth have a form of venom to disoriantate and agonise their prey. These things leave no survivors. The only way we've managed to get even this information is from recordings recovered in body suits from their victims."

"Next, we have the _Marlocks_." Valern magnified the next image. It looked like a grotesque frog on lanky legs. The eyes were huge, almost encompassing the entire face. The mouth, already small, appeared to be sown shut. "They come from Salarians, and we believe this is how they're piloting the ships they steal. Marlocks are excellent spies. Able to move silently and camouflage themselves with their environment… their, um, lips, we believe, are sown shut by other Darkspawn to prevent them from making noise. A Marlock only needs to watch an action once in order to be able to perfectly replicate it. This is why the Darkspawn ships can set a course and use relays and such, but cannot pilot a ship as effectively as an organic."

 _"Gnashers_ are from Vorcha." Sparatus showed her an image of a humanoid that walked on all fours, with arms and legs stuck out at the side like an insect. Its mouth was huge with rotating teeth lining all the way to the back of the throat. "Disgusting things, carrying disease and plague. They act like your earth piranahs – eating everything, bones, uniform, materials, _everything_."

"And you've already encountered the asari version, the _Spawners_." Tevos' voice was dripping with disdain as she showed Elaine the image of the tainted asari. "They have life cycles that defies the usual rules of Broodmothers. Newborns burst from the womb – killing the mother – and devour everything in their path. Then, much in a mockery of their asari ancestors, they select prey to 'bond with', stripping them of genetic material to create their own offspring. Then, in their final stage, during their pregnancy, they became more powerful, destructive; before cacooning themselves into the usual Broodmother state and await their offspring to be born and kill them in the process."

Elaine took a moment to fit all that information into her brain. She could feel Grunt's eyes shifting from the Council to her, awaiting her response. Finally, she asked: "What about other races? Quarians, Krogan, Batarian, Volus, etc. Do we not have anything from them?"

"The Batarians are so few since the majority of their race was destroyed by the first wave of Reaper attacks – we haven't seen anything of them at all." Explained Sparatus. "Krogan females are so heavily guarded (especially with the genophage now made redundant) that the Darkspawn have luckily been unable to get to them. Thank the spirits. I don't know how we would survive a Krogan-version of one of these beasts."

"One of those beasts is right here…" Grunt growled menacingly.

"Volus and Quarians have been attacked," said Tevos, "but from what we can gather, their conventional weakness has saved them from this fate. When the darkspawn attempt to remove their suits, the Quarians' immune system cannot handle the exposure, let alone the taint, and very quickly sicken and die. The Volus cannot live in an unpressurised atmosphere – they die almost instantly."

 _"Keelah…"_ Tali murmured in horror. "I need to find out how many we lost. All those pods we thought to be missing…"

"Elcor have not been attacked yet, so far as we know." Valern's voice interrupted Elaine's instinctive response to comfort her friend. "And the Hanar are protected in their oceans – it seems the Darkspawn, for all their tenacity, cannot swim."

The Warden's thoughts were drowning in the flood of information she was receiving. It now occurred to her just how real it was that the Darkspawn horde was growing, advancing beyond her previous knowledge. It was daunting, terrifying. The thought of all those poor women, trapped underground, raped, violated, forced to bear into the world abominations this galaxy had truly never seen before.

"Um…" she swallowed, attempting to compose her shock. "Well, this is uncharted territory for all of us, Councillors. Hands on experience with these monsters will be the only way to learn their weaknesses. For now, I suggest keeping these ships at bay from worlds. If they cannot pilot them more than simply setting a course, then that means they should be easy targets out in space. Let us focus on tracking down those ships. It won't solve the Reapers transporting them, but…"

The Councillors all gave each other looks. The atmosphere in the chamber quickly turned from weary, to uneasy. Elaine looked to Grunt and Tali, they shrugged but kept their eyes on the Councillors. So they felt it too?

Slowly, Tevos cleared her throat. "There is more, Warden Vakarian."

Valern tapped his fingers on his terminal, a nervous tick. "We're noticing a pattern emerge…"

"Do you know what this substance is?"

An image appeared before her. The hologram showed her a crystal-like substance. It glowed red and orange, as if it contained a fire inside of it. Thin trails of orange lightning floated about it like an ominous aura. All around the crystal, plant life had withered and turned black. A tickle of recognition whispered at the edges of Elaine's mind, and it took her a moment to place it.

"I remember this… We found it on my homeworld. A form of Lyrium…"

"On worlds where the Archdemon has stepped," for once, SParatus didn't sound mildly aggressive or condescending. He sounded genuinely concerned. "We see this. Do you have any idea what it is or what it means?"

"No, Councillor. This is new to me."

"We've discovered that this is a new type of Element Zero works similarly to Red Sand." Said Tevos. "Enhancing biotic abilities to unprecedented levels, but causes neurological breakdowns. As well as being highly addictive, we noticed it causes tumerous growths and deformities."

"For now, we've ordered that no one is to come into contact with it. But we suggest you find answers to this conundrum, Warden. Immediately."

* * *

With Aria short on manpower, that meant she needed numbers to boost her chances of taking back Omega. It seemed, as a personal insult to Aria, General Petrovsky had set up his base of commands in Afterlife, her old nightclub-turned-throneroom. In order to get to him, they needed cannon fodder. And the only resources available were local gangs and mercs. That meant Garrus and Aria clashed. Hard.

"You can't trust those scum!" he objected. Loudly.

"I trust them to look after their own self interest." Argued Aria. "Cerberus has hit their business rather hard. They'll help us so long as our goals help them."

Apparently, the only merc group available was a new one, called the Talons. Aria very bluntly explained that Garrus' (and later Shepard's) little war against the Bloodpack, Blue Suns and Eclipse gangs had thinned their numbers and created a void in the balance of power. The Talons and their leader, Darius, saw it as an opportunity to get a foothold in the local drugtrade. Liara lamented that if they were still working with any of the three former merc groups, she could easily sway them with her knowledge on them. But the Talons? She had little information to use.

Garrus' was unapologetic. His only comment being: "If I'd had six more months, they would've been next."

Shepard wasn't particularly enjoying watching his best friend slowly slide into a more aggressive and hateful demeanor. It was almost like this station was casting a spell on the turian, bringing back to the forefront those terrible years where he was spent fighting everyday a hopeless battle against crime in a haven for the lawless. The commander decided to not interfere for now, as Garrus' anger was useful so long as it didn't distract him. But should it escalate any further, he was ready to intervene.

Nyreen went missing just before the group could leave for Talon territory. Considering that soon after, they heard comm chatter that Cerberus was moving in to kill the Talon-leader, Shepard's first instinct was to assume betrayal once again. He had to push the others to double time it. No way was he letting Cerberus take this one from him.

About an hour later, they managed to get to Talon territory. It was already under siege. Their main base had nearly a dozen Cerberus at the doors, trying to blast them open, just as many laying dead on the floor. A few of the Talon soldiers – all armoured in red – were either gravely wounded or dying. Two were being tortured to either tell Cerberus where their leader was, or to open the doors.

Shepard and the others came in, guns ready – but it turns out they didn't need them.

From the rafters above, a shadow dropped amidst the Cerberus soldiers. A gun shot, two. A slap with the barrel of an assault rifle into the head of one Cerberus soldier, flattening him. the air hummed a nano-second before blue energy erupted amidst those coming to help their comrades. The Biotic forcefield flung them back, snapping their spines against debris behind them. All it took was a few seconds, and then it was over. When the dust settled, a Turian female stood tall and proud. Her plates were bone-white, her neck long and thin, her tattoos a red diamond shape across her face. Green cat-like eyes studied them suspiciously.

It was only by the shape of her chin, the matching colour of her face-paint, the angle of her mandibles, that Shepard recognised her. Nyreen. Her hood gone, her identity revealed. She was the Talon leader that Cerberus had been hunting. Well, at least now the Commander could rule out betrayal for why she'd vanished.

Didn't mean he approved of said vanishing-act.

Nyreen helped one of her soldiers to their feet. "Take care of the wounded, and scavenge what you can."

"You heard the boss." The Turian male said sternly to other talons that came sprinting in from around the corner – too late for the party. "Move it!"

"Boss?" Liara and Garrus said simultaneously.

"My, my…" Aria purred as she sauntered up towards her former friend. By the tension in her shoulders, Shepard knew the purr was a lie. "Nyreen, aren't you just full of surprises?"

"Aria." Her greeting was formal, blunt, almost cool. "The deception was necessary. I needed to figure out what your plans were."

"So you're a merc now?" asked Garrus, flabbergasted. "Trafficking drugs? Weapons? _Really_ , Nyreen?"

"You misunderstand." Shepard expected her tone to be confrontational again, but instead she was much more mellow. "That was Darius' operation. When Cerberus took over the station, he was killed. A lot of the Talon leadership was, along with a lot of other gangs in the area. I brought new direction. Stability. The people of Omega depend on us. We help to try and make them safe. The General's been hunting us ever since."

She marched with purpose into her base, and Shepard and the others were quick to follow. Talon soldiers consisted mostly of Turians and Krogans, Shepard observed. Each one they passed, they would salute Nyreen by standing to attention, dropping their gun to one hand before raising it into the air. They were militaristic in their form, alert and ready for anything. He could not hear one argument in the base, no squabbling over spoils of war the way any other gang might behave. Stretchers were littered across the floor, civilians stretched out and being treated as best as the soldiers could afford. Shepard had to admit, it was impressive.

"We'll be evacuating this location as soon as possible." Nyreen told them over her shoulder. "Try not to interfere with my people's work."

Another turian male came jogging up to Nyreen. "Intel just reported in. The group of civilians we managed to evac arrived safely at the other outpost. Also, routine sweeps report nothing new on the Adjutant presence."

That made Shepard curious. "Adjutants?"

"Creatures created by Cerberus." Nyreen said gravely, she took the datapad from her soldier and handed it to Shepard. What he saw on the screen looked like some Cthulu monster, with a elongated head and a mass of tentacles for a mouth. "They eviscerate their victims' DNA, converting them into more Adjutants."

Aria sneered. "Some kind of Reaper-Darkspawn hybrid. I've fought them before. They're a nightmare."

Nyreen looked to Aria, and for the first time, Shepard saw genuine fear on those green eyes. "It got worse after you left. They turned on Cerberus and then tore apart the gangs. Now they kill anyone on sight. If Cerberus hadn't found a way to contain them, the entire station would be overrun by now."

The commander rounded on Aria, thoroughly displeased on her lack of forthcoming information. "You could've told me about this before now, Aria!"

"So you could bring along that plucky Warden ' _expert_ '?" she snorted derisively. "No thank you. Her sweetness would rot my teeth."

Nyreen shuddered. "What I saw will haunt me for the rest of my days. If you did too… you'd run the other way. But it won't stop me from fighting." To distract herself, she turned back to her turian soldier. "Cerberus is backing off for now. Make sure the scouts keep an eye out for the next attack."

"You've done an excellent job, Nyreen," said Aria, rolling her hips as she strutted forward towards the Talon command centre; a mess of computer terminals and massive screens. "But I'll be taking over now. You know what happens to people who argue with me."

Shepard was just as alarmed as Nyreen was outraged. "And if I say no? You'll just kill me and take over? My people won't stand for that."

"Yes, they do seem… nauseatingly loyal. Either way, I'll get what I want."

"Not this time. The people of Omega are my priority."

Aria actually laughed. "You take over one gang, and you think you're ready to decide what's best for Omega? Nyreen, watch and learn."

Pulling up her omnitool, Aria opened a channel. A holographic drone similar to Tali's flew from her omnitool and floated in the air before her face. Somehow, suddenly, every screen and terminal in the vicinity was showing Aria on display in real time. Like she was broadcasting. Shepard doubted it was isolated to this base. Whatever she was doing, it was probably being broadcasted to the entire station.

He leaned in to Liara. "How is she doing this?"

"Ahz can hack into anything," Aria smirked at him. "Including your little broker's network."

Liara hissed in outrage. "Why you–!"

"People of Omega: I have returned!" Aria proclaimed loudly, raising her arms like a triumphant empress addressing her subjects. "Cerberus believes they have beaten you. They believe they have you under control. They are gravely mistaken. You are the lawless of the galaxy. You cannot be beaten, and you will never be controlled. Be ready! Your chance to strike out against your oppressors is coming. Together, we will take Omega back!"

Cheers could be heard on all channels, and even some of those in the base, both civilian and Talon, made noises of their approval. Nyreen, however, didn't share their excitement. "That's your plan?! Throw civilians at Cerberus?!"

Garrus was right beside her. "Use them as cannon fodder? It'll work, but that's nasty – even for you!"

Aria scowled at both of them. "Anything is better than being locked up like mindless animals waiting for slaughter."

"You haven't changed a bit." Nyreen looked like she wanted to say more, but closed her eyes and shook her head. Her shoulders drooped, utterly dejected. Glaring, she hurriedly moved away. "I have civilians to evacuate. I'll deal with your mess later."

Watching her go, Shepard contemplated what had happened. He was all in favour of using whatever advantage they had. He had no love for the people of Omega, they were the lawless of the galaxy, exactly as Aria described. Each one a thief, or conman, or drug runner. In Aria's position, he would likely have done the same – offer a distraction for Cerberus to deal with whilst he had his A-Team go in through the back.

But still, the way Aria was going, she was burning bridges with potential allies faster than they could make them. "What are you trying to do?"

"The people of Omega – my people – love a good street fight. When it breaks loose, they'll be ready." Aria said. Her eyes slid to Nyreen at her command centre as she directed her soldiers. Those eyes lingered perhaps a little longer than was necessary. "Nyreen's code of ethics won't let her sit by if civilians are exposed. It's what makes her utterly predictable and easy to manipulate."

"Considering everything you two were for each other…" Liara's quiet voice made Shepard jump. He'd almost forgotten she was standing there, listening the entire time. His girlfriend's eyes were blazing wih fury and disdain for the former crime-queen. "I thought you better than that."

Aria's eyes widened with alarm. "How do you know that?!"

"I'm a good information broker." Liara growled menacingly. "Don't you ever forget that."

The sound of static abruptly abruptly shouted in their ears. Everyone's attention was drawn back to the screen as the static cleared, and the image of General Petrovsky came into focus. His busy brows were drawn down, his mouth pressed into a hard line.

Garrus snorted. "Looks like Nyreen and I aren't the only ones who didn't like your little speech, Aria."

 _"Citizens of Omega."_ Said the General, his eyes never once wavering from the camera. Where Aria had commanded attention through her stage-presence and energy, Petrovsky demanded it with his hard stare alone. _"I understand that Aria T'Loak seems to have you convinced she's rallying you to throw off the shackles of subjugation. This could not be further from the truth. Miss T'Loak is an old and worn out thug who cannot let go of the illusion of control; over this station, over you. Her plan is to use you as cannon fodder, nothing more. You are all aware of Cerberus' rules. Don't get in the way of our operations, and you will be protected. That assurance is more than Aria ever gave you. Murder on every street. Plagues killing you off. Gangs blackmailing you. All of that is gone, and Aria wants to return it – I ask you, who is the real oppressor here?"_

"Bastard…" Aria seethed.

 _"And to make matters worse, Aria seems to believe that she can intimidate all of you into obedience by showing off her latest pets."_ The feed of the general cut away to a picture of Shepard, Garrus and Liara following Aria through the station. The Commander felt his insides clench in sudden dread. _"I'm sure Commander Shepard needs no introduction, the murderer of 300,000 batarians six months ago, allowed to walk free. But perhaps you are unfamiliar with his companions?"_

"Oh shit…" Garrus breathed.

 _"This turian stalked your streets for almost two years. He killed your brothers, your friends, indiscriminately. Some of you might know him better as 'Archangel'."_ Everyone sucked in a breath. All eyes in the room focused on the small party in front of the command centre. But Petrovsky wasn't done. _"And Shepard's Asari mistress has been known to Cerberus for some time. As hard as it might be to believe, Liara T'Soni, daughter of Matriarch Benezia that threatened the galaxy only three years ago, is none other than the Shadow Broker."_

The hate in the room was palpable. Garrus, Liara and Shepard all exchanged worried glances. All around them, people were looking at them with growing anger, some were even reaching for their guns. Shepard instinctively moved to hide his friends behind him.

 _"These are the murderers and opressors that Aria has formed around her to join her little cult. I'll leave it to you, the true people of Omega, to decide if it is a cult worthy of loyalty… or destruction."_

The feed was cut, and there was a tense moment of silence. Shepard could guess all of their thoughts. They probably either wanted to murder them or turn them in. It didn't take long for the crowd to make up their mind. All it took was one angry shout, and then the lot of them were screaming, clawing over each other in a bid to get to their prey.

"Archangel killed my brother!"

"Tear them apart!"

"Talons, stand down!" Nyreen shouted, her voice carrying over the entire room, even over the cacophony of hate and murder. Whether it was out of respect for her, or their inborn militaristic training, the Talon soldiers did as bid, and slowly the crowd followed their example as the mob-mentality was robbed from them. Nyreen was quick to show her ire. "Are you seriously gonna fall for the manipulations of that son of a bitch? It doesn't matter, even if what he said was true – which I doubt – it does not distract us from our mission. We still have a station to defend."

The soldiers had to play around with the idea. And it was clear that they only listened to their leader begrudgingly. They still all cast murderous glares at Shepard and his crew as they slowly withdrew to return to their business. Shepard himself did his best to not let his relief be too easy to notice.

"Well," Aria whispered to him. "I'd hate to tell you I told you so, Shepard. But…"

"Let's just get moving," he grumbled. "Before we overstay our welcome even more."

* * *

"Well, that definitely got weird." Grunt murmured.

Elaine was almost marching through the station, her distracted mind making her almost stomp her way towards the nearest cab depot to return to the Normandy. "Why can't things just be simple? Just once, I would prefer this war to be as uncomplicated as possible."

"So, we going out and finding these new Darkspawn?" Grunt was nearly bouncing with excitement.

"I'm already trying to find out how to find their ships," Tali declared fiercely. Before they'd even left the Council tower, she had gotten in contact with the other Quarian Admirals to have them do a count of all their missing pods or small ships. She was now determined to punish the Darkspawn for taking away her beloved people. "I'll need to talk with EDI, but maybe there's a way we can ping these ships to reveal their position…"

She continued to talk, but Elaine slowly tuned her out. Finally, an insistent buzzing under her skin was making itself known to her. Her mind whispered that she needed to look up, her sixth sense whispered of something faint but most definitely there. Trying to be inconspicuous, she turned just enough to look behind her from the corner of her eye. The streets were busy, filled with people drifting from shop to shop on the Presidium. At first she could see nothing, but then her blood burned slightly, driving her eyes in a certain direction. Then she noticed a face paused in the crowd, a human face watching her, and trying to make it look like he wasn't. As soon as she saw him, she saw other human faces in the crowd watching her from various positions. Turning her head forward again, she did her best to walk as if she had noticed nothing.

"Don't look," she mumbled quietly to her companions. "Someone's following us."

Tali startled. "What–?!"

"I said don't look." Elaine hissed, clamping her hand on her friend's arm to keep her still. "Grunt, can you sense them?"

She could see he really wanted to turn around, to find the faces following them, but was restraining himself. "I've been feeling a tickle… but I just thought I was hungry."

"I might've not noticed them, except one of them is definitely tainted. Only the early stages, but enough still to faintly pick up." She then realised that Grunt had probably been wrestling with this for a while, and she had been oblivious. "I'm sorry I didn't pay attention sooner."

"W-w-what do we do?" Tali whispered. "It has to be Cerberus. They're the only ones with the taint just walking around…"

"Can't we just call C-SEC, or the Normandy?" Grunt suggested.

Tali shook her head. "No. They're probably already monitoring our omni-tools, if not outright jamming us."

"And there are too many civilians here to draw attention to." Elaine agreed. Damn them! Cerberus had planned this perfectly. "We must do this quietly."

"So what now?"

"We're splitting up." Making it look like they still hadn't noticed, Elaine laughed loudly, elbowing Grunt in the ribs to cover her leaning in close to whisper, "Grunt: give it five minutes and then break off from us. Make it look casual. They'll more than likely engage. But whatever happens, you need to get back to the Normandy and have EDI or Joker get a message out to Shepard. We'll meet you there when we can."

Grunt didn't even bother to hide his grin. "Alright! Some action!"

"See you on the other side, Grunt." She thumped a fist on his shoulder, trying to not let her thundering heart show on her sleeve. "Make me proud."

They all pretended to browse through the market for a few more moments, keeping to public spaces with C-SEC on guard at the edges so that Cerberus couldn't make a move. Two could play at that game, after all. All the while, Cerberus followed them every step, never letting the group out of their sight. After exactly five minutes, Grunt made a show of saying goodbye before heading off. Elaine sent a prayer to the Maker that he made it unscathed, that Cerberus would ignore him. And also that they didn't notice his atrocious acting skills.

Tali held up a pretty purple cloth of fabric, to obscure them from view for a few precious seconds as she asked: "Okay, now what do we do?"

"See that noodle shop?" Elaine pointed across the street. "We'll head there. Let them think we still haven't seen them."

"And then what?"

"Then… you're going to let them take me."


End file.
